D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott #23 Looking for Strange in All the Wrong Places

Episode Date: December 13, 2015

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 1In which our heroes go through a rough breakup. We engage in a domestic, have a drunken pity party for Ansley and magical shenanigans ensue. Krif gives relationship advice, Princess Ansley doesn't understand tieflings and Leo mistakenly thinks he has cast a darkness spell. So hide behind the bar and join our party as they try to get through the night without being stabbed too many times. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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we're just going to churn it out till we die Jackson can I leave before that? we're going to churn it out till we die. Jackson, can I leave before that? We're going to be just skeletons sitting in the studio with D20s in our eye sockets. Anyway, enjoy the show. I want to leave. I have a family. Oh, before I go, I got more to say.

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trying to find some dice that rolled off the table. But that's exactly what we're doing today. Welcome to episode 23 of D&D is for Nerds. I'm Ellie Kathleen, playing the role of Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. Over here is Joel Zamet. He'll be playing the role of Leo Shadow. G'day. And on the other side is Jackson Bailey

Playing the role of Criff Pum Pum Criff Yeah And as always, our ever delightful DM Adam Consumer Surplus I don't Shut up Adam Previously on D&D is for N I feel like we're all going to die

Well, yeah Yeah, pretty much I wish you had not done that. Take Tiggle up and help him poop, Gryston. I don't know what I said. I panicked. Luke, we're running out of money. I feel like this is one of those times,

like when we get out of this, if we get out of this, we can just sit down and talk about, like, just leaping into things. I'm going to use my masterwork longbow to fuck you up. I'm kind of super into hitting people at the moment, though. Hey, guys, want to come on an adventure and be our resident priest?

Hey! Best friends forever? I'm done with you. I know. Everyone else is gone, Leo. You're alone in a dark room with bodies in a city you know is unsafe. Grayson is absolutely furious with you

guys. He's moving ahead and he's not waiting for you to catch up. Ainsley and Leo, you're basically, no matter how quickly you guys think you're moving, Grayson is taking a very, more than a lively step. He's basically jogging. He needs his time.

He... Every time you guys try to close the distance, he's not actively running away from you, but every time you try to close the distance, he picks up step a little bit. That's not good. I think you've angered him. Wait, where am I? I've angered

him. I think it was a group effort. Yeah, but a little bit behind, Chris. Yeah, so you're maybe... I need you to make a spot check to actually see them. It's night time, but it's's dark and they've got a bit of a lead on you. All right. I just realized what actually has to happen. Just.

Cool. Yeah. So you spot probably the tail end of, I'm going to say, Griff rounding a corner. And you'd have to start running if you wanted to catch up to them, Leo. Okay. I guess I'll run. I'm like, hey, wait up, as I call out. That would sound so adorable because he's so little.

Archie, wait up, fellas. I haven't been doing that voice this last episode. You're a halfling. How come he has such a high voice? I'm pretty sure hobbits don't have high voices. They don't have a high voice. He's giving himself a high voice. It's pretty sure hobbits don't have high voices. They don't. He's giving himself a high voice. It's not like a racial trait.

Squeaky voice. Halflings plus two dex, negative two strength, low light vision, and squeaky voices. Extraordinary ability. Hello, boys. How's everything going? Oh, boy. I'm surrounded by idiots.

For those of you listening at home, that means that in the presence of an anti-magic zone, halflings no longer have squeaky voices. It's just a little interesting D&D fact for you out there as an extraordinary ability. I like to imagine one guy... Sorry, supernatural. Actually, no, wait, they don't.

Thank Christ. I was worried and concerned. All right, if I hear him, I'll stop. Okay, cool. So Ainsley, you're going to stay with Grayson though? Hmm. I'm going to, I'm well aware of my limited capabilities. I'm not sure if that's as a character or as a real person.

I don't like running, guys. I just don't like running. Ainsley doesn't seem like the type to enjoy a lot. Ainsley may not like running, but Ainsley is decent at it. That's true, that's true. I guess I'll... Tackle him. Because I've tried calling out to him,

and he's not really taken far of it. He's not actively trying to run away from you, but he doesn't look like he wants to stop or slow down or chat. Okay, I'm going to yell out, like, do you want me to come with? That's a good question. He, Grayson stops, turns on his heel. Oh, my God, oh, my God, I'm in so much trouble, guys.

You can see he's kind of red in the face. Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. He's embarrassed. Hopefully it's just exhaustion. He's just, he's out of shape. He says, what do you think? In a very aggressive tone.

I think we could fix this. Maybe you need a little bit of time, a little bit of, you know, I'm not going to use the word space. I'm not going to use the word break. But I'm just, oh, I'm getting glared by the actual DM.

I feel like it's cutting into my soul. It's just, I really want to make this work. He interrupts you. Where was this person on the boat when we first met? Oh, my God. Oh, no. I'm sorry. It's just a good.

I like to think we round a corner, see this, and we're like, oh. We'll stop in our tracks and just watch from afar. It's cutting. Put a hand on your shin. Cutting. I'm sorry. We got caught up in the moment and I followed and I shouldn't have. I should talk to you.

You got caught up in the moment. Which moment was that? The first person you killed or the second person you killed? I wasn't really okay with it. Or then the son that you then continued to kill. Well, by that stage we had kind of done goofed, okay? We had to mop up our own mess and I'm sorry. It's just really hard to...

Are you staring at me? Wipe my bloody hand with a shoe nick. I'm feeling not great about this. Grayson turns around again and he just marches off. Ainsley, Ainsley, Ainsley, just give... I'll kind of run up, put a hand on her shoulder. Just give him some space. I think he needs some space. He's hurt, heinsley, Ainsley, just give, I'll kind of run up, put a hand on her shoulder, just give him some space. I think he needs some time. He's hurt, he's wounded,

you know, emotionally. Okay, alright, alright. He probably had that weird plague thing messing with his head. That's true. Yeah, he's gone through a lot. I just want to yell out, I know you've been through a lot, but you know where to find us. And then... Does he, Ainsley? Does he?

Okay, he did until you brought it up. Why would you just say that? We haven't gone anywhere yet. We've lost him, I guess. We'll be in the inn near... He's not listening, is he? He's gone. He's well out of earshot at this point.

Well, he's pretty good. He knows how to find us. He's in the inn, I guess. Okay. Let's heal these stab and holy burned wounds. On the plus side? For the nearest tavern? On the plus side, we don't have to have the commitment to it. Can I get a higher or low, Jackson? Low?

I'm sorry. The place you find is a definitely lock your door type of place. Let's get a lock. Well, I think I hit a zombie with it many years back. I would like to ask the bartender for a pundit of ice cream and some red wine. You walk in. The first thing you notice is

there's a group of tiefling. Tiefling are... Are they people made out of teeth? They're not half demons, but they're people whose, in their ancestry, a demon or a devil exists. So they've got demonic traits, but they're not half demons. Do I know much about tieflings?

Can I have a knowledge arcana roll? Can you give a physical description, mainly about how many teeth they have and where they are? I could show you a picture, but that doesn't help with the audience. Not tiefling. So it's not like the dentist demon? They kind of have horns and shit.

A couple of them have horns. A lot of them have reddish skin. No. You notice a tail or two? Lab coats? What? Safety goggles? What?

What the hell are you talking about? What are you thinking of? Honestly, what reference? Oh, you're saying teeth fling. Oh, you've just taken that teeth and run with it. You're having fun. I like this. It's okay.

Yeah, Griff, you taken that teeth and run with it. You're having fun, and I guess it's okay. Yeah, Griff, you know that tiefling, while not necessarily inherently evil, they're often a bad sort. Unpleasant people you don't want to know. Let's just avoid the tieflings. The group of them in the corner ignore you. Have I ever seen a tiefling? I'll allow you to just say that you've done that if you want

for role-playing reasons. All right. I want it to be spooked and startled. If you want, I can roll dice and we can randomly determine. Yes. Okie dokie. Highs or lows? Lows.

No, you've met tiefling before. It wasn't necessarily a pleasant experience, but you know enough about tiefling that you're not startled. They're still scary. Tieflings. Yeah. Gross. Anyway, you go over to the bartender, Ainsley D. The bartender, as soon as you walk up there,

the limited amount of wisdom that you have is enough to tell you that ice cream is not on the menu. What is on the menu? Probably ale and maybe mutton. I will have three ales. What's your sad, depressing food in the UK? I'm going to order three ales and then wait for the guys to come along and be like

Think of a medieval society. How often do you encounter ice cream in a medieval society? Well, where I'm a princess, so a lot. I'll ask them if they have any eggs. What do you want eggs for? I'm just feeling like eggs. Jackson Bailey doesn't like eggs, but boy, does Chris.

I love the idea of you being like, can I have some eggs and some milk? Because I'm going to make gelati. Have some eggs and some milk. Who's ordering meals for you, Chris? I'll have some eggs. Ales, please. You ordering anything, Liam?

I could nibble on a bread roll. You can share my eggs if you like. Cooked eggs or whole eggs? Okay, so it's going to cost... Criffpum, you lose a silver. That's all right. How many eggs? Oh, I don't know, like...

Five? Seven. No, not five. Maybe like... 18? Three. 48. Are they scrambled?

But you get nothing but eggs. Poached? Are they poached? Are they scrambled? Are they cooked nothing but eggs. Poached? Are they poached? Are they scrambled? Are they cooked? Are they cooked eggs? You can have them how you want. I like this place.

It's pretty good. Do you want to split some scrambled eggs? As long as it's scrambled or sunny side up. Hey, Griff, do you want to split some eggs? Yeah, we'll have some scrambled eggs. And Ainsley, your three ales comes to a total of... He's like calculating it off in his head. 12 copper.

We got that. We're fine. Those are our? No, no, they're yours. They're yours? Because you're having a set? All three of them for you. Well, I was going to say that and then be like, and some for these guys,

but I'm very well aware that I would not be able to stomach three ales, so I'm going to give one each. All right. Once again, in medieval society, ale, like people don't really drink water. Ale is kind of like a very, it's very light. It's a substitute for water. You could handle three ales. Go for a run, have a drink of ale. Guys, guys, guys, remember that time

we were really drunk and we tried to see if I could do magic? Yeah. Give it another go? Yeah! Let's get really drunk and try to do magic again. Are we having a drunken pity party for Ainsley? Yeah. And try to do magic. I'm gonna scout the bar for handsome boys. For strange? Yeah, I'm gonna scout for strange again. Wait, for handsome to do magic. I'm going to scout the bar for handsome boys. For strange? Yeah, I'm going to scout for strange again.

Wait, for handsome boys? I'm just going to see if Ainsley can find a handsome boy to make Ainsley's night. I guess you never announced your sexual alignment. Sexual alignment. Chaotic gay. I was about to make that joke. Yes!

Surely chaotic gay is just bisexual. Yeah, I suppose. Wouldn't that be neutral? I don't know. There's really just the tieflings in the bar. Any of them good looking? I'm going to slide a little bit of Ainsley. None of them look like the sort Ainsley would like to date.

Ainsley, are you after some tail? And I'm like, hey, like tail? Because they have tails. I enjoyed the pun, but I think maybe we should at least give Grayson some time to remember how great we are. If you guys are actually

going to do that drinking thing, let me know so I need to roll dice. Drink, drink, drink. Yes. Ainsley's going to start drinking? Yes. Ainsley, are you okay?

Ainsley, are you going to be alright? No, man, we're going to do magic. I'm going to roll just every now and then for when you have a drink. I'm going to compensate for the fact that Grayson and I have had this big public tiff

by being like, this is the night, guys. Nothing's holding me back. You're going to do magic. I'm going to do magic. Tonight, one way. Oh, do magic. What did you think I was going to say? Get laid or something.

That's always nice. Grab a glass of ale, hand it to Ainsley. Grab one of mine, hand on, well, your shoulder, but as high as I can reach, and then chink. Yes. And I down the ale. And then I smash on the ground and be like, I'll be designated driver, I won't drink. Tiny itty bitty little Thor.

Yeah. Griff, are you going to continue to look for strange as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of want wanna make you a knight Oh my god Hey Sly Ainsley You can do so much better You can do

You can do better Ainsley Grayson he's You know He's just a hired sword We were gonna kill him anyway I don't wanna put this back Remember like We did decide that early on

We were probably gonna kill him Yeah That's true We made that decision when we hired him Well we were gonna Well my plan was to Get in a relationship with him. And then get it for free.

So let's be honest, Ainsley, we were manipulating him from the get-go. From the very bloody start. But I don't want to admit that out loud, just in case he's in the background in the darkness. He's a sneaky guy. He's a sneaky motherfucker. When he gets to him, he's a sneaky motherfucker. It's true.

You're an angel. Hey, he might have saved our lives, but whatever. Look at him now. We were doing some stuff to save his life and he gets nothing but stropping. That's true. We did all of that to save his life. Right? I totally forgot that.

I just assumed it was my fault. Why is it always my fault? We were saving him. If I may for a moment. Ainsley and Leo get about ten drinks in. Yes, yes, yes. Before, Kriff, you spot through the doors comes a young elf. The elf looks around.

He looks very lost. I reckon it's a full elf. He's wearing sort of fine-ish clothing, so he doesn't look like nobility or anything like that, but maybe like a nice, well-off merchant, maybe. He looks very out of place. Ainsley, what about this fellow who just walked in? He's probably handsome.

Ainsley is pretty drunk at this point. Leo and Ainsley are both pretty drunk at this point. I'm going to have to walk you guys upstairs tonight. Can I just yell out to the bartender, what would you call a bartender? What would you call it? Bartender? Barman? Barkeep. Barkeep? Bring me your finest candles! We're gonna set them on fire,

guys. Well, okay. You're drunk. Honestly. With magic magic. I'm gonna sort of hop up from the table and walk over to the elf. Hey. While that's happening, the barkeep gives you a

weird look and says, candles? Yeah, candles. We're gonna set them on fire. I, like, put my hand on the bar and just stare intently. Two candles. Yes. I'm gonna... Do I see this? Yeah. Yeah, they're gonna make a roll. Yeah, make a spot check.

Oh, my God. This has just turned into Kriff trying to stuff his drunk idiot friends. Okay, so Ainsley, through possibly some veiled threats and also an offer to maybe pay him, you manage to get the barkeep to come bring you two candles.

That's going to take you a moment. In the meantime, Kriff, you do not in any way notice what is happening you two candles. That's going to take you a moment. In the meantime, Griff, you do not in any way notice what is happening. I'm just chatting to the elf. They're very drunk. I was going to I was just going to say maybe you want to meet this girl. She's real nice.

I think she's just trying to do magic. I don't even really know why I got up here. I think I thought Angelique said she wanted to set you on fire. What are just trying to do magic so I don't even really know why I got up here I think I thought Ainsley said she wanted to set you on fire What are you trying to do? What are you trying to say? I think I've gotten up to him and I've approached him and realised that I had nothing to say Because I thought Ainsley said

let's set him on fire but now I realise she just wants to try and light candles with magic I did wonder why you got super panicked because you were like let's set him on fire i'm like oh my god no that's what i heard as well he's gonna set that poor elf on fire that's probably what i still think i'm like look you should probably go there's a there's a girl and he's just very drunk i just heard a shade she wants to set you on fire. The elf looks very confused,

but you can tell he's a little scared as well. He nods and turns around and leaves. Okay, yeah, it's probably for the best. I look back. They have their two candles. Oh! I'm staring at them, like one of them intently in my hand. Yeah.

I'm putting everything, absolutely all of my willpower my daniel power and harry power and dick power oh gross anyway all of my power what was that a reference well because it was like will as if it was william and then william harry who i don't know i don't know she's been making references nobody understands literally all day. I don't understand this. Okay, I'll explain it later. I can explain it to me now. What? It was like Will Power because Will is a name.

Yeah, but Harry and Dick? They're just other names. Is this like the famous five or something? No. It's not really a reference. It's just names. I thought it was going to be like Hardy Boys or something like that. I was like, where is this going? No, it's just general boys No, Dick is your name.

Dick is the third name that you come up with. I'm going to go, if I've noticed they've got candles, am I still after getting a strange? Yes. I'm going to go and open the door to the tavern and yell after him. Okay, you see him trudging through the muck that is the street. Mate, my mistake. She thinks she's magic.

She's just trying to light candles and fire. Come back inside. It's dangerous out. You're gonna be okay. He doesn't respond until you say it's dangerous out, at which point he gives the empty straight, like, a cautious look. And in the distance you hear, like, you know, the sounds of a dumpster being overturned

and maybe, like, screaming. Old English member. Baby, no it's not. It's fine. It's all good to you. The elf comes back to you. Hey, mate. Like, good, I'm not dangerous. Thoroughly scared. If somebody says it's dangerous out,

that's, I mean, like, I could be dangerous. You don't know me, but whatever. You're safe. Just letting you know, be a bit careful. I put my arm around him and walk him into the bar. He's shivering. He'll be right. How are these guys doing?

I'm like holding the candle, doing my best Professor X, like finger to forehead, just like trying to make it catch on fire. Does it catch on fire? Does it? I don't need a roll that doesn't. Oh, why didn't you give me a chance, Adam? That's not how magic works.

I come back and say they've been trying to light candles. We do every tavern. Would you like to try as well, Ainsley? I would love to try because, no, no, don't shake your head preemptively. I come from a magic family. Remember we found my family on the map of wizards. I came from a wizard family. But are you a wizard?

We don't know yet. Maybe I could be. Adam, can I do spells subtly? I can't. I've got to do a movement in a hand thing, can't I? Yes, yes. It depends on the spell. Are they far away?

They can't really... What spell are you thinking of? Fireball? No, not fireball. I want to make the candles light. Actually, I don't think I have that spell. You can create dancing lights, but it's not like the same thing. What's the predestination thing? Oh, we know.

Prestidigitation. I was about to say, that one might actually do it. Hang on. Let me look that. I'm going to just convince him. That'll make out. I know exactly what this spell is, and no one's going to quickly pretend to talk.

Adam has a moment to check his many books. I'm going to have a drink of water. The description of prestidigitation the description of prestidigitation does not specifically mention that it allows you to light candles but it says that it covers

a range of different tricks for impressing simple folks so I would say lighting candles doesn't get much simpler than these two this level of drunk I'll just like suddenly with my hand be like light those candles on fire

both of them? we're so magic oh there's so many dice guys why do you need that many dice? whole tavern on fire there's a lot of people guys. Why do you need that many dice? Whole tavern on fire. There's a lot of people here who could spot that. Oh, yeah, true. Shit.

Oh, so you pick... He just rolled all the dice and is like, oh, only one of them counts, and then knocked the one. No, I knocked one, and so the result was unfair. And then you rolled it again. Yeah, I re-rolled it because I knocked it and didn't know what the result was originally. So that was...

Did you roll all the dice and you're only going to use one dice? No. One of these dice is Jackson concealing the spell. Everyone else is spotting that. The two candles sprout fire. Ainsley and Leo, you genuinely believe you were the ones who did it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, guys. Did you just let those candles on fire? Oh, my God, we just let the candles on fire. The bartender also looks A bit dumbfounded at this I'm gonna stand up And be like I'm selling all of my weapons I am now

No she's not She isn't though That's Incorrect Ainsley sit the fuck down Jesus I don't need them I'm a fucking weird

Ainsley Ainsley Ainsley You made a candle light Griff we can be wizarding Oh my god Why did I do that Griff be wizarding trio. Oh, my God. Why did I do that? Griff, from the corner where the tiefling are, one of the tiefling turns around and with a smile on his face that you know he knows what's up, he says,

that's right, you're magic now. Hey, mate, come on now. He knows. Come on, mate, please. Come on, just give me a little. Griff, look at my eyes. Look at my eyes. Please, come on. Just give me a little. Griff, look at my eyes. Look at my eyes. The Wizarding Three.

Yeah. How good would that be? How good would the Wizarding Three be? Guys, you're drunk. You're drunk. Let's get you to bed. Come on. I'd be willing to purchase your weapons for a low price, says one of the tiefling.

Don't take it. Don't. No? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Don't take it. Don't take it. Don't take it.

Guys. He sorts us over to you guys at the bar. Mate, turn around. Hello, sir., turn around We don't want your business My name's Khalil Khalil, we don't want your business He introduces himself to Ainsley as well I'm Khalil How clammy is he?

Clammy? He'd probably be warm Not necessarily Jesus Christ, guys. Making me roll for clammy hands. His hands are about average in clamminess. On a clamminess scale

out of ten, they would be a five. Less or more than Jackson's clammy hands. Like, in real life. Touch my hand. Fuck. How you going, ten? Yeah. In real life. Touch my hand. Ooh, fuck. Right groin. How are you going, ten? Yeah, yeah. Because I feel as though, like, as a princess,

I wouldn't have seen any of these. Princess, air quotes. Shut up. I wouldn't have seen, like, demons like this before. And you seem suspicious. I like every couple of sessions where, like, is Ainsley a princess? And the answer is always maybe

never clear which is I think something an issue we've already brought up as well yes it's good um I don't like Khalil mate look you know what I mean I'm can I just like lead him away from these two guys see if you can light the candles out

he is actively attempting to hustle oh I'm gonna try all right all right hey look guys because look hey Guys, see if you can light the candles. I'll blow the candles out, see if you can light them again. He is actively attempting to hustle them. Oh, I'm going to try. All right, all right. Hey, look. Guys, because look, hey. Oh, yes. You try and light my candle, I'll try and light your candle. No, no, no.

Yes, so it's not just the candles. Khalil turns to you, Leo, and he says, do you know a darkness spell? I know some halfling wizards can just do it as will. Maybe you should try that. Okay, what is it? What's darkness? Just picture darkness in the center of the room.

Okay. I look in the center of the room. I picture darkness. Oh my fucking god. Oh my fucking god. I know what's gonna happen. Adam, Adam, can I get in before he casts it? And do what? Punch him in the face. I'm gonna be like, oh my god, oh my god, he's gonna be like, I'm just gonna be like, smack!

In the face. Okay. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. He's gonna be like, I'm just gonna be like, smack in the face. Okay. Oh my god. You hit him. Yeah! Oh my god. This could not have gone worse. You sock him in the jaw.

Yes! His spell still goes off, though. You're the only one who notices it, though. You, Ainsley, and Leo, neither of you notice him cast the darkness spell on the centre of the room. As far as you're aware, you cast it, Leo. Oh, my God, oh, my God.

Oh, my God, you are so magic. Fucking hell. Kaleel shoots you a dirty one. Look at how magic I am. I run into the streets. No. You run out into the streets? Tonight's going so well.

I'm going to skip after you. I want to frolic after him. Oh, no. Oh, no, guys. Fucking hell. You're going to sell all your weapons Mom You're not

You're not magic I'm gonna try and find a ruffian Uh Uh Faster than you can properly comprehend The tiefling takes out A little blade Jabs it into your spine.

You take 10 points of damage. Oh my god. Oh my god. Tonight's going poorly. Tonight's going poorly. You feel unconsciousness drawing at you at the edges of your experience. I have to save my fucking friends.

Celestial pee? I'm gonna bring my fucking friends. Celestial P. I'm going to bring initiative into play now. That's probably not a bad idea. Hey, Samet, I feel like, you know that point in your brain where you're like, we done goofed. I haven't quite reached it yet, but I'm getting there. You cast two spells. I cast two spells.

You're unstoppable. I'm going to find a bum and try and light him on fire. You're unstoppable. I'm going to find a bum and try and light him on fire. You can't lose, Samit. You can't lose. Oh, God, guys. I might get killed. I might just get killed and then you'll be like, Ruffian, I'll just stab you in the neck.

Because then if I don't light him on fire, I'm probably just going to end up either walking away or stabbing. Leo, you're first. You burst out into the streets. You are unaware of what just took place in the tavern. I scream, I'm magic, and try and do a fireball. Actually, hang on. Am I aware?

Ainsley, you noticed him stab Griff as well. I'm going to run back. Hang on, wait. Sorry, it'll be your turn in just a moment. I will run back when it is my turn. You haven't actually run out yet. Have I run out in the streets? So you're still next.

Yeah, Leo is out on the streets. I scream, I'm magic and try and do dancing lights. Do I succeed? No. Why don't you ever roll? I do it again. Magic Lights. That'll be your turn. It's the tiefling's turn.

Magic Lights. So following his initial attack, he stabs you again. Oh, my God. Hey! Motherfucker. You got stabbed twice. I know. I know.

I take a further 14 hit points. Help! Jackson, you're on one hit point. Help! Oh my goodness. Help! Help! I'm going to run.

We're going to run. No. Now it's Ainsley's turn. Okay, I'm going to run back and then realize. Oh my god, he's been stabbed. You haven't actually left the bar yet properly. Good, good, good. So you're still standing where they are.

I'm going to bow. Bow. Shoot him with your bow. Please shoot him with your bow. Bow and your, good. So you're still standing where they are. I'm going to... Bow! Bow! Shoot him with your bow! Please shoot him with your bow. How far away am I? You're basically standing next to them. Okay, I'm going to

get my sword out and then I'm going to forget that I'm magic and then forget that that's my new thing because you're dying and this is not the first time I've almost gotten you killed.

Remember the time I shot you in the back? Yeah, I do. If you'd just been like, I use fireball, I'd have been like, that's me done. I'd check out Adam. Goodbye, I guess. I think that would be my favorite way to kill a party.

And it's all my fault. I just wanted you guys to have a fun night. Ainsley was in a bad place. I was trying to help her out. I wonder what that poor other elf is thinking He's probably Oh my god he's still in the bath I completely forgot

That poor other elf is like what is going on That poor man who tried to help me Are we in the darkness as well Oh it's his darkness There's a darkness in the centre of the room It's not actually affecting combat Actually In the respect where if Leo were to come back into the bar, he wouldn't see you guys.

He'd see darkness. Oh, no. So it's actually in between. Other than that, though, Ainsley, you draw your sword. Yes. You hit the tiefling. Yes. Please save the day Ainsley Dealing a total of

9 damage A Good times You Draw like a massive gash Across the tiefling's back He wasn't expecting a drunkard To score a hit I don't think you were either back. He wasn't expecting a drunkard to score a hit.

I don't think you were either, Adam. No, I wasn't. Riff, it's your turn. Grease the floor. He'll slip. He gets a free attack if you do that. Oh, never mind. Invisible?

He gets a free attack if you cast a spell. Actually, if you take a five-foot step back, what do you want to do? You can do any of the spell, actually. If I go invisible, will he know where I am because of where I was? He'll know where you was. He'll know where you were.

He'll know where I was. I'll take a five-foot step and be like, invisible, and then I'm going to run behind the bar and hide. All right. You can abandon us. We deserve it. Oh, you wouldn't be able to do that you take the five foot step, turn invisible

but you can't move that's okay, he knows where I was, not where I am cool that was Griff's turn, Joel I mean, Leo I walk back inside and exclaim I'm not magic, guys I'm so happy to hear that

there's no real combat going on right now, so you can't actually hear, but you can see the big darkness in the center of the room. Guys, I call out. Guys, where'd you go? I can't see you. Feel free to respond. I can't see you.

I'm going to keep quiet or he'll know where I am. Leo, this guy punched Griff or something. Just run through the darkness. From where you are, where is he? Just, Marco. Punched, or something. Just run through the darkness. From where you are, where is he? Just, Marco. There's a six second limit. I don't know.

So I'm going to call that as your turn. I wanted just to piff a fucking dagger. Let me piff a dagger. Do it anyway. I throw a dagger in the general direction of the tiefling. Oh no. Please don't hit me in the back of the head. Please don't hit me in the back of the head. Wait, no, that's not how it works. Please don't hit me in the back of the head.

Adam's got a thinking face on. Adam's thinking face is his scariest face. It is. Is he happy or angry that I succeeded or failed? Heist. That's a shame. The dagger just sails past and doesn't hit anyone. For a brief, dizzying, frightening second, Ainsley,

it nearly looks like it's going to hit you. Oh, God. It's all right. The teeth thing, however, probably will hit you. Oh, that's upsetting. He pulls another dagger out of somewhere else entirely. Like, you don't know where he got the dagger from even if it's fast.

Where are the other tieflings? Well, right now he has two daggers. The other tieflings are in a corner. They don't look like they're going to participate in this fight. Oh, my God. Dodged a bullet. He draws the dagger and tries to basically just throw it at you, Ainsley.

But I guess maybe Leo's dagger collides with it in midair and both daggers just fall harmlessly to the ground. Yes. Yes. That will put it at Ainsley's turn. Strike him again with your sword? I think I was going to try and calm him down, but since he just tried to throw a dagger at me,

I'm going to fuck him up. Yeah, just wreck his day. Yeah. Fuck this guy. You just wreck his day. Yeah. Fuck this guy. You still a bit drunk? Yeah. You're full of piss and vinegar. Let's go.

Gross. You slash downwards and you slam the blunt end of your sword on his head. There's this fountain of blood because it's the head and all that extra blood or whatnot. A fountain of blood arcs off, you know, the head and all that extra blood or whatnot. Fountain of blood, like, arcs off when your sword, like,

ricochets off and he collapses to the floor. Not dead, but unconscious. Oh, okay. I mean, that's... That's gross. Oh, gross.

Does the darkness go? That's pretty good, though. The darkness? No, the darkness is still there. It'll last until it ends itself. I'm gonna pop back into existence. Is it my turn yet? Oh, no, we're out of there. It'll last until it ends itself. I'm going to pop back into existence. Is it my turn yet?

Oh, no, we're out of turns. Is darkness still there? Darkness is still there, but you can do whatever you want. I draw my rapier and run through the darkness. Oh, no! What do I see? Well, what do you see? A good question that will be answered next time on D&D is for Nerds.

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