D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott #5 Potions, Pick Pockets and Pelts

Episode Date: August 9, 2015

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 1In which our heroes finish up in their first dungeon and head back into town. We puzzle over a dark and mysterious room, feel up a demon and hassle the mysterious stranger that sold them a map. Krif tries to make a potion of light, Princess Ansley suggests a floating conga line and Leo is cold clocked by a shadow-dwelling monster. So join our party as they float like butterflies, sting like bees and try to wear the pelt of a wolf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sam Spencer Radio, that zombie's got a pretty good charisma score. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table trying to re-kill some level 1 zombies, but that's exactly what we're doing here today. Welcome to episode 5 of D&D is for Nerds. I'm Jackson Bailey, playing Criff Pompom Criff. This is Ali Kathleen, playing Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. And this is Joel Zammett, playing Leo Shadow, and of course, our illustrious DM Adam Cake Muscles. No, guys, no. Shut up. Previously

on D&D is for Nerds. I drank one of the floating potions. Shoof down the stairs. Check the traps down the stairs. You were going to be fighting chests today. This is what you get for using a cat as a decoy. If snakes could look like hamburgers, they would.

Guys have won one hell. Guess who speaks dragon? Jackson, quick, block of wood. Fire your bow at it, you idiot. Yeah, yeah, that one. I don't know how magic works. Me neither. He's casting Burning Hands.

Uh-oh, that's bad. I think I'm going to stab a wizard. I think. So whose turn was it? Oh, yes, yes, yes. The staggered crit. Griff, it is your turn. Can I throw my spear?

Drink a potion. You can. I'll drink a potion. That seems wise. Yeah, a muffled unconscious. You regain four. Just from the ground. No. No. You regain four. Just from the ground. Nah.

You regain four hit points. Yes! So, that would be your turn. And, Leo, you go down to negative two. Oh, you got a while. Hey, man, I've got like so many more turns. Maybe eight. Eight turns. I guess. Eight turns of life left. Some, man, I've got like so many more turns. Maybe eight. Eight turns.

I guess. Eight turns of life left. Some would say eight turns. That's so many. That's more than enough. We got this, guys. Me and Ali can take him out. Whatever, he's just an old man.

Let's do this. He doesn't have magic at all. I'm telling you, I'll block a wood on the head. Yeah, that'll be my finishing move, Mortal Kombat style. Yes. He casts another spell. Yes. Next.

Jackson, you recognize it as sleep. Oh, good night, everyone. No, you can't sleep. You can't sleep. Yes. Yes. You're not, Ainsley. Yeah, but he is.

I sure am. Can't I stabby stabby first? You've got this burning rage inside you to kill him. It's true. But the burning rage is being put out somewhat by this overwhelming urge to just lie down and go to sleep. Have a nap. You can gain some hit points.

That's all right. All right, yeah. After eight hours, you will. That's good. Ainsley, you fall asleep. Oh, boy. Just a little hold me. Wizard, e-wizard.

Fuck, what'm alive. And... Huck, huck, huck. Griff, it's your turn. At him? Your turn, Griff. He'll kill me. Huck a spear.

Hey, you hit him. Yeah. You spear him in the... Fuck, you spear him in the throat? Yes! It's like he's got an entire spear in his throat. Cast a fucking spell there!

I mean... He falls over and dies. Yeah! That was a really long death. Adam, first of all, we out of combat now? Can we do whatever? I cast Rouse. To wake me up. Motherfucking Rouse, wake up.

Does not wake people up from magical speed. Oh, no. Surely. I cast it anyway. Okay. So you cast Rouse, which is just him essentially like, hey, guys, guys, wake up. Wake up, guys.

Guys, wake up. Come on. Oh, my God. All right, I'll chuck a health potion in this bugger log. Okay. Down to three. You're on five hit points. Oh, happy days.

Can I just try and slap this one awake? I'll wake you up with just a hefty slap in the cheek. Love it. Let's do it. Yeah, Ainsley, you wake up as well. Super. Hey, guys, let's search this fat old wizard. He's not fat.

He was frail. Can I take a health potion? Do we have any left? We've got three left if you want to. I would take one. Thank you. Okay. Down to two.

Full hit points. So there was a bounty for this guy, wasn't there? Oh, my God, there was. Cool. I'm just going to decapitate him and just grab his head in my bag. Hang on. I want to search his pockets. Oh, you make a mess of it.

You get like a head. It might be recognisable, but it's like a mess. Sorry, we'll wash it. We'll clean it up. Whatever. Can I check his pockets? Yeah, sure. What are we going to find?

You leave the room. Marbles. Marbles and some peppermints. Like a solid old man that he is. Peppermints and a couple of pennies. You're like, oh, I feel bad. He was like a legit old man. And a newspaper clipping from the 70s.

Yes. You find 110 gold pieces. Yes! How rich do we want to be, guys? I'm going to spend it all on daggers. The rest of the stuff is just like old magical textbooks but most of them date back from like

a time when some people weren't allowed to vote So they're like out of date like if I went through and I tried to use them people would be like oh my god you idiot That's not the case anymore There's nothing else in his library There's maybe like a of books on demons.

You're not sure if they're worth anything. Anything useful. Take a book, why not? Nah, nah, hassle. Search his office, though. Yeah, search his office. Yeah, that's what I did. Oh, cool.

So what was our mission? What was the point of... Are we just sitting over the corpse and being like, what the fuck are we doing here, actually? We went to something about an alchemy something. What did that guy say that we bought his coat off? It was a good coat. So long ago.

Well, there's one more door. Maybe the answer's three. You open the last door? Check for traps. I like that. It's always like I go to open it and you're like, no, no, no, no, no. Check for traps.

I got this. You find the no no no no I got this You find the trap It's a tripwire It looks like it activates a pit trap You open the door and then you just fall down a pit trap Didn't he say something about a pit trap? We did get warned of that Didn't we buy a scroll off him?

Nope, I tried to steal it, I failed Well then we just won't go in that room I think there might be treasure this way, Ainsley. That's what we're here for. This is the point. Everybody back away. I'm going to hurl a book into it. Good plan. Open the door from afar. The book hits the door,

I guess. Open the door from afar. How? By throwing a book at it. A door open spell. Oh, that's right. You cast the spell, and the door opens, the trap gets set off, and there's just this little pit trap. It's open in front of the door. Can we jump it?

You can jump it, yeah. You can try. Do you guys want to risk it? Because I have two potions that are jump. Also, when did I land from floating out of curiosity? Or am I still floating? No, it ended when you got to the bottom of the stairs. Can I have a...

Before we do anything hasty, what's in the room? What's up here and look inside the room? It's completely pitch black. I'll chuck a sun rod down. Torch. Torch, guys. Lantern.

Torch. One person at a time. No, three of us at once. At the same time, we all bring out a light source So Jackson you throw your sun rod in Do you throw your torch in? No I hold it Your light cannot pierce the darkness

Oh fuck It's like it does not reveal anything of the room Jackson you believe it to be a magical darkness I believe it to be a magical darkness What are those potions we have? I have low light vision But that won't help Willip Jackson, you believe it to be a magical darkness. I believe it to be a magical darkness. What are those potions we have? I have low light vision, but that won't help, will it? No, it will not. That doesn't help you.

We got a potion of jump, two of them. We got a potion of endure elements. I'm going to chug one. Yeah, okay. Yeah, just chug a potion of endure elements. Can I see? No. Those don't work.

All right. It's not an element thing. Jackson, you make me angry. You have to be like, so mad. We've got hide from animals too. This is not an animal. We should have used that when we were running away from your cat so that it wouldn't be angry and it wouldn't come to save us.

The cat is still trapped as far as we know. We might have to use that. Three floaters. So we can each have one and just float down and then if there's anything on the ground we'll just chug along that. And that's it really. Except major armor but I don't know how that'll help us.

And two dead snakes. Give me them snakes. I give you the snakes. I fling the snakes into the room so it happens. Well they pass through the door into the room. You hear them hit the ground but you don't see anything. Let's just float through.

Let's just float through. Fuck it. Each chug a floating potion. Okay, you all drink a potion, and you just, like, float carefully into the room. Who's first? I'll go first. I'll be in the middle.

Okie dokie. Take up the rear, Leo. Done. So, Krim, you float through the room. As soon as you get in, you feel the tech. Okey-dokey. Take up the rear, Leo. Done. So, Chris, you float through the room. As soon as you get in, you feel the... We should hold each other. Holding hands? With rope.

Yeah. We can either do rope or we could just... Everyone holds hands or feet. Let's all hold feet. I mean... What? Chris is at the farm What is your plan?

Pardon Ainsley? I mean go on We're not fucking apes Wait wait wait Let's hear her out Like when you're parachuting And you're making a formation And I'll hold Chris' feet

And then Leo will hold my feet and we'll be in a fucking line are we like are we belly to the floor over and over is this i don't see why that's how that's better than a rope but sure i grab her feet okay okay hooray you create a bizarre conga line of floating fucking idiots and you enter the room. Fucking, you're the only one who can guide anyone, seeing as how you're the only one who has hands free at the moment. And our eyes are just dead on the floor.

That's all we can get. We're, like, coming up ahead. You see down into the pit trap, the bottom of it is spiked and you can see a skeleton down there. Then you get into the room. When you get in, the temperature drops immediately, maybe 10 degrees. That's when we should have used the

endure elements thing. I've still got it. It's comfortable, but you detect the drop. I build a campfire out of my flint and steel on top of my back. You probably shouldn't do that while you're floating. Okay, I will.

Just imagine you get a log, let go, and you're like... You're bumping around in this dark room. You start feeling out its dimensions. It feels like it could be a storeroom. You detect what are obviously chests and barrels. Okay. And then Kryff, you're

leading the way, right? Then your hand brushes over something wet. Ew, ew, ew, ew. Guys, guys. I try and scramble over them. Kryff climbs his way. Kryff, you accidentally push off. You're up against the

ceiling. Guys, help! I'm adrift! I'm gonna say, Leo, you bump into it as well It's like wet and hairy Oh, gross Yeah, Griff, you hear it like Do I know what this is? In the dark? No It's big, whatever it is

Just give it like a proper good feel Just like a proper good feel. Just like a blind person. You're like, what's going on here? Get slimy. Get slimed. Get slimy. And then hug it.

Can I use my sleight of hand? To pick its pocket? To perform a minor magic trick? To search, but stealthily. See what you do. You like search. It's not very stealthy, though. You're like just feeling around. Eventually you get to what is quite obviously a mouth.

And you can feel these rows of like fucking teeth on it. And it's got these like. It's got sharp teeth. It's got like tusks. And it could be a boar. And you like stick your finger into its nose. How did you do that? What does nose feel like?

It feels like it's never blown its nose. It's very mucusy. And then it swats you out of the fucking sky. Ow. Yeah, it hits you. It hits you hard. You like go sailing across the room. Should Ali roll to keep hold of his feet?

Oh, man. You take eight points. Oh, my God. Are you dead again, Zammett? He's on negative two. Zammett. Oh, my God. Zammett, you're just careening around.

Like, no one can see you, but you're just gracefully in, like, zero gravity floating around. By the way, it's notice. Leo? Hang on, wait. Okay. Ainsley, you heard that. You know what just happened.

Griff, you don't know what happened. What's going on, guys? What do we see? Guys? We'll play Marco Polo. Marco Polo. Polo? How faro. Polo. How far away from each other are we?

You guys need someone. You guys need a tank. We are very weak. Adam, I'd like to create a block of wood and just drop it in a hole. You can't create the block of wood on, like, not, you've got to create it, like, on the ground. You can't create it. I have to create it and pick it up They used to be in Dungeons and Dragons

That they didn't specify that So what people would do is I summon a whale And they're like well you're on land I summon it above the enemy Everybody get whales Good tactic Oh god

Can I swim down? You can push off. Yeah, you can, like, push off the ceiling. How can we see through magical darkness? Maybe if we... I have nothing. I'm just stretching this out. You have arcade knowledge?

Can I try and figure out how to get rid of darkness? Using my... Mind powers. My knowledge arcana. You know a light spell might be able to cancel the magical darkness? One of which I have. Dancing lights! That would be too weak.

Will it at least illuminate a little bit? No, it wouldn't illuminate anything. You need a more powerful light spell. Damn. No, it wouldn't eliminate anything. You need a more powerful light spell. Damn. I'm just like flicking through my character sheet trying to find something.

Hang on, wait. Highs or lows, Zamit? Highs. Highs? Okay. Zamit, you bump into Ainsley. Hey, I grab ya. Okay.

You know what's, like, you kind of know, you're not 100%, like, you don't know exactly what happened, but you understand the basics. Like, you know he's been wounded pretty gravely. You think he might be out of it again. Okay. I'm gonna grab your leg. Yeah! No? Don't I have the potions?

He has all the potions. I just called for one. I'm gonna call potions! No. I'm gonna throw a potion. That's a bad idea. In the direction of the sound. Yes, yes. That's called for one. I'm going to call potions. I'm going to throw a poof. That's a bad idea. In the direction of the sound. Yes, yes. That's a bad idea. Don't do that.

It's happened. It's happened, Ali. Accept it. Ainsley, high or low? The most important decision you'll ever make. Come on. You got this, Ainsley. High.

See, I said both. You're going to trick Adam there? Like he's going to be like crafty. Oh, you win. You can't go wrong with L'Hai. High or low? High. High.

The potion, like you hear it bounce maybe five feet to your right. Oh, no. Hey, it didn't crash, though. It bounced. That's true. I'm going to swim down. I want to find the floor. Okay.

Don't find the spikes. You have no sense of what was up or down. Jackson, you're completely lost. Help! I freak out. And yell a lot. Minor panic attack. Major panic attack, really.

Yeah. Yes, I freak out and yell and scream and propel myself around. Okay. I'm going to make whale noises in the background to keep them calm. And seagulls. Are you going to try and find that potion? At the same time, yes. Okay.

I'm just going to make noises of the sea. You find the potion. Yay! Is that an excited seagull? Yay! It's good to be me. You going to feed it to Zamit? Yeah, why?

Yeah, all right, why not? Fully healed. Yeah. Lucky son of a bitch. Are you calm now, Griff? No. No, not in the slightest. At about the same time you do that, the potion ends and you all hit the ground.

What about the spikes? Am I like, I'm just healing. Am I all right? We're about to find out. You tried to move away, so maybe. No, you didn't. No, Jackson, we know you sculled on. Jackson. Yeah?

Get sculled on. Oh, actually, wait. You have a chance to just try not to take damage. We're all sitting on the edge of our seats. That'd be so nice if I didn't just have my head caved in like a pancake. Ah, that's not a good chuckle. Nah, it's all right. Jackson, you take one point of damage.

Oh, that's okay. Guess who's on? Three. And Ainsley and Leo, you were both already near the ground. Yes. Search around. Try to avoid this hairy thing. See if there's like a switch.

So we can see. I'd like to see, Adam. This darkness is scary. I am blind. I do not like it. You can work out the basic layout of the room now. You know where the thing is. And you know, like, the boxes and crates are up the other side.

You can't find any, like... Check for traps. Maybe if the whole room is trapped. You can't find any traps. Maybe the whole room is a trap. I think maybe the catchphrase for this one is actually check for traps. I know. Can we go back out the same way we came? Just go home? You can see the exit.

Let's go to the exit, guys. Let's chuff on out and look at his spell books. Yeah. We'll chuff on out. Okay. Just jump the pit. Oh, hang on. Oh my god, that would be such a sad way to do it. Oh no. Oh boy. It's not a hard one, but yeah, no, you're...

Ainsley, you were so close. Like, Leo, you jump across and it's just not a thing for you. Like, you go a lot further even. Ainsley, you like jump and you're like, oh, oh, just teetering on the edge. This is upsetting. And then Kriff just hits you in behind and you both land in a heap. Oh, so we're not in the pit. No, you fall outside the pit.

That's all right. All right, so clearly there's something in there. Uh-huh. Not great. It hurt me, guys. I don't know. I think I lost taste buds. Oh, boy.

Your head is still fucking ringing. Go lick stuff to check. All right. Nothing. I, boy. Your head is still fucking ringing. All right. Nothing. I can't. Nothing. So there's just the one door to his office and then the other door. Yeah, the other room, the one that you were just in,

that storeroom filling room, unless you checked the boxes, you don't think there was anything else of note in that room? No, we wouldn't have checked the boxes. Having too much of a panic. It did just feel like a storeroom, though. You'd think there might have been just food. What was the thing, though? What if you just shoot a bow

and arrow in the office and have a look around and see if there's something going on like an illumination spell? Like the Illuminati? Spell. I'll give it a double check. Can we go back to the alchemy lab and make a potion of illumination?

Let's do that! You can try. I will give it my darndest. Give it a red hot go. Get ready to taste. Pass. How's Jiggle Lump doing? When you're going back up, Jiggle Lump is still stuck there. Give him a little pat on the head.

He's getting a little bit freer, though. The spell is slowly starting to end. He, like, kisses at you and, like, swipes as you pass. Oh, boy. When can you trade that in? I'm getting rid of him next time we stop at a town. This fat piece of shit. I mean, you know no

way of making a light spell, but it's possible that you could fuck up and create something. That's the aim. As they're like, you're a wizard, right? When you get back up to the alchemy lab, you see that guy from the tavern standing there. I knew he was dodgy.

Especially when I pinched his butt. And he's just... I see you have no coat. He's just inspecting the lab. Hey, buddy. We killed the wizard. Is that what we were here to do? I'm pretty sure you were just here for the money.

He's head. Is that... Well, you might... Whose head is that? He doesn't know. It's not quite clear. Well, have you done looting everything, he says? No, there's a storeroom that's really dark.

We can't get in. I'm just going to make a potion real quick. What? Do you know how to make an illumination potion? Of seeing light, of lightness. I don't think such a type of potion exists, he says. Just you wait. Adam, I'd like to just try.

You make this brown, goopy sludge that you're pretty sure is noxious and poisonous. Get the guy to drink it. We can try this. As you were doing that, he the guy to drink it. We can try this. As you were doing that, he just went down the stairs. We can throw that into the thing. As he's going down the stairs, you just hear him call up, Who's cat?

That's my one. Don't remove him. He's mad. You guys are dicks, he says. You just follow him a little bit. He goes down the stairs. He goes into Wondrin Norton's office. And he just has a little snoop around.

Particular reason you're following me? What are you doing here? I figured you guys would either kill Wondrin or die in the attempt. I showed him his head. Look, it's here. Well, like I said when I gave you... Yes, his dead body. Look, it's headless.

Why don't you... Who do you think it is? Why else would I... You said there was a bounty. Well, do you want to go claim that or what, he says? I just want to know what's going on in the other room. It's like a beast. There's something in there.

Like a boar? Do you describe it to him? Yeah. It's probably a demon or something, he says. We were so close to it. I don't think you want to tussle with something like that. I touched its mouth. Put your finger in its nose.

But it didn't attack us, so maybe it's good. Maybe it's chained up in there, he says. Maybe we could... I got nothing. What are you going to do? I don't want anything to do with a fucking demon, he says. I'm looking for some books and then I'm going to leave. Why?

We report this to the local demon police? You can report it to the town. You're a wizard. What do we do? I don't know. Don't look at me. You probably report it to the local lord. Guys, we've got to interrogate the brown coat guy.

He's not a brown coat guy. Well, he's wearing a brown coat. No, he's not. He took his coat and sold it. That was a big plot point. He's got a new coat. The new coat looks nice. What color is his coat? It's like a potion I made wearing a brown coat. No, he's not. We took his coat and sold it. That was a big plot point of the film. He's got a new coat. The new coat looks nice. What color is his coat?

It's like a potion I made for your new coat. Yeah. Right. Anyway, we've got to interrogate him like we're that five-year-old age where we just keep asking our parents, why? Yeah, have we just pester him enough? Okay, go. He takes a couple books out of the shelf.

What are you doing? Why are you taking all those books? What are you doing? Can you give us some light spells? Can you teach us how to see? Why did you make us do this? Do you know how to make a light spell? How did you get those some light spells? Can you teach us how to see? Why did you make us do this? Do you know how to make a light spell? How did you get those blueprints?

Where did you get your coat from? Why don't you like wandering Norton? Why did we kill him? He's leaving. No way. Are you guys following after him? Yes. Oh my god.

He goes back to the town. Do you hassle him the entire way back? Pick up the cat on the way. After maybe ten minutes, he breaks into a sprint. We run after him. Oh, no way. Come back. We're not done asking questions.

At least in town we can buy a light spell, guys. He leaves you guys in the fucking dust. What a mean son of a gun. So you guys are out in the forest now. You're on the path, though. You could go back to town, back to the town you came from, or you could go to a different town. The town you came from was Edgegate.

If you go back there, because Wondrin Norton was in that sort of territory, you might, if you could convince the town guard that you have his head, get a reward. Do you want to go back and search his body for anything else that I might identify him? We tried to look for mints. He mangled that fucking body. There is no recognizable parts.

It's hard to tell if it's a human at this point. We go back to that town and I want to collect my bounty. And also maybe get a light spell and change out that shit cat. Can I swap this? That's what I'll say to the familiar store.

No such store. Maybe report that demon thing, guys. I feel like we should do something about that. You know, like, all that's required for bad things to happen is for good men to do nothing? I feel like that's one of those situations. Yeah. Yeah, we're not good men, but I feel like if we don't do something,

it might come back to bite us. Or we could just leave it. Or we could tell some other... Maybe we could tell some other adventures about it. Hey, we have some blueprints. Let's sell them. Yeah, right. At the tavern.

Yes. That's okay. So we get the bounty. So wait, you guys got to figure out who's good at lying before you do that. All right. My bluff, not great. My bluff. My bluff, zero. My bluff, my bluff, my do that. My bluff, not great. My bluff?

My bluff, zero. My bluff, my bluff, my lovely lady. My bluff is one, so I guess it's me. Negative one for this boy. Okay. So do you guys make, because it takes like a day to get back to town, you guys are resting again in the night?

Of course. When we get tired. You would not believe. Jackson. Yeah. Sorry, Chris. In? Sorry, Criff. In the night, you're just sitting there by the fire and your two compatriots are having like a doze

and you just hear somewhere out of the woods this low growling sound. Oh, that's your cat. I figured we picked up Jiggalump. Did we pick up Jiggalump? Did you? Yeah, probably. Yeah, you got him on the way out. He must be so pissed. That's probably

why you lost track of that guy. Yeah, you're like, oh my god. You're like, we gotta get the cat. Oh, and that, oh man. Jiggalump fucking went into you the entire way. I would have had to just like chuck him in my backpack and hold it. It's night time, Jiggalump. It's

night time. But anyway, yeah, you hear this low growling from out in the woods. Okay. Hey, if only you had a spell that would rouse your allies. Oh my God, everybody wake the fuck up. You son of a bitch. I rouse everyone. With the spell or yelling?

Rouse or arouse. I wake them up with arousing. No, I'll just rouse them. Finally. Wake up, boys and girls. No, I'll just rouse them. Finally. Wake up, boys and girls. Okay. Ainsley and Leo, you both wake up.

That's my wake up noise. Ainsley, you can hear the low growling as well. It's coming from somewhere just north. You guys are camped next to the road. The road goes east-west west somewhere just north of you you can hear the growling from like the bushes can I also hear it? you can't hear it, no

I go back to sleep you son of a bitch I go back to sleep I'd like to use dancing lights in the direction of the growling okay you cast the spell the dancing lights in the direction of the growling. Okay. You cast the spell. The dancing lights illuminate this wolf.

It's like a big motherfucker, and he's like low, stalking towards you guys. Okay. Leo, poke it. Poke it in the nose. If it feels the same, then it's the same. That's all right. It looks like it's planning on making a meal you guys Oh don't even scratch that

I'm only little He'll eat you in one gulp I'd like to stab him in the head with a spear please Adam Okay you're going to sprint up to him and try to stab it You hit I killed a wolf guys I'm going to wear it's pelt I wouldn't say that He's going to kill you and wear your pelt.

It's really more of a glancing blow, if anything. You hit him, though. It spears him in the side. Oh, yeah. Let's go to initiative. Let's fight a fucking wolf. Let's wolf a wolf down. Let's eat this wolf. Are you going to wake up, Leo? No. Okay. Seems unlikely.

Leo will nap for the entirety of it. I'll get there eventually when something happens. I'm going to shoot it with my bow and arrow. Okay. Bow and arrow that pharaoh. That Anna pharaoh. Oh my god. Because Jackson is in the way

once again. At some point you're just going to stop caring. It's going to be like, I'll shoot whoever's in the way. It's true. It's true. Yeah, like fucking Griff, an arrow whizzes past your ear and just the tiniest little specks of blood.

The hell? You son of a bitch. Okay. Oh, no, now we get mauled by a wolf Once fucking Leo has a comfy nap Next door You get bit Oh god

Six points of damage Okay I'm on one health Guys We're running out of health potions We have three left No two We have two health potions left. We could buy some of them.

And fucking Griff, it's your turn. Crossbow it in the mouth. Okay, take a step back and pull out your crossbow. You hit. Yeah. Point blank range.

I would be surprised if he did some. Yeah, you would be surprised. You'd be very surprised. I've got a wolf fighting me. Every shot I've tried to make. You, like, take a step back. You're taking out your light crossbow.

You're like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. You fire. It strikes the wolf, like, in the side of the fucking face. The wolf looks like it's in a lot of pain. Good. Yes. Yeah. Leo, the commotion wakes you up.

I just throw a dagger Adam's getting excited Hi Rolo Hi Critical hit Yeah Oh yeah, Leo champ Sleepy Leo, best Leo God damn it

Spinal tap, I like the name of this one You like strike the wolf in Oh my god You strike the wolf in the spine It fucking Oh my god It is in so much god damn pain It looks like it's

It looks like his limbs are fucked up now You did spinal damage to the wolf. Holy shit, Dammit. You paralyzed a wolf. In your sleep. It's like fucking walking funny, and when it comes at you to try and attack you, its fucking mouth is twitching.

What happened? How did it? Did we win? What's going on? Oh, we're all right. Let's get it on. Time to shine. Let's fight, I guess.

Time to... Hmm. And, uh... Wait, whose turn does that make it? I don't know. I marked your names down wrong. I think it's, uh... Kriff's turn.

Alright. Um... I would like to... Fucking scatter spell. Why not? There's nothing to scatter. What about, like... You're right in front of the fucker. What about, like, rocks and shit? There's, like... fucking scatter spell. There's nothing to scatter. You're right in front of the fucker. What about like rocks and shit?

There's like no space between you and the wall. I am on one health. Let's just... Don't do that. His spear's in him. Oh, God. You can go again with the spear. I shove a sun rod in his mouth.

You can go again with the spear. All right, I'll spear. God damn it. Do you just let go as soon as you attack with this thing? I was always assuming I was throwing it, but you're right. I wouldn't be. Why would you throw it in close range? Oh, my God.

Yes, I'll stab it with a spear. I'll stab a wolf with a spear. You can throw it, but in close range, why would you throw it? More power? Oh, God. Nice power. Fumble? Oh, God. Less power. Fumble. Oh, no.

Okay, so you, like, try to attack, and for one fucking moment, you think that you're about to, like, dig the spear into the ground, and, like, the spear will, you know, fucking smack you. Smell it in the mouth. But you, like, just let go of the...

You just let go of the spear spear and you drop it instead. It's a quadriplegic wolf. The wolf runs. You guys are not worth it. Bow and arrow it. Bow and arrow it. I want to wear it. Yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, that. How can it run? You miss as it goes. How is it running? It's like skittering away. Sling it in the face. Chase the wolf down.

You hit it. Nobody injures us. I want that belt. It's not dead, but it's trying to get away. Griff, it's your turn. I'll crossbow it. Yeah? Yeah.

Hunt that fucker down. You guys are ruthless. We want its belt. We're all about jackets and shit. Oh, my God. We want it spelt We're all about jackets and shit Oh my god Okay so Ainsley it's your turn You gotta make a spot check because it's running off into the darkness Alright I'll do that

You can't see it you've lost sight of it So bad Leo You have also lost sight of it Oh no You can see it still. Oh, God. Crossbow, crossbow, that shit.

Ah, no, you missed. Damn it. Guys, the wolf's gone. The wolf scares into the night. Back to sleep? We're going to go back to bed. Same place. Maybe we should build a campfire so we don't get wolfed again.

You had a campfire. It just didn't give a fuck. It's like sort of the wintery season. Oh, it's coming to the wintery season. So a lot of the animals are pretty hungry. All right. Will you spoon to sleep? Yes.

Sandwich. It's like you were taking the crit file out there. You're spooning. Yes, you spoon butterfingers. You drop your weapon. Just like, oh, sorry, hang on, let me just rearrange my sword. Did that go through you guys? I was thinking an entirely different weapon.

Yes, it did. And we'll leave you there till morning. Will you wake up? Find out next time on D&D is for Nerds. Indies for Nerds. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sandspantsradio.com.

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