D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott #8 Those Flaming Zambinis
Episode Date: August 30, 2015Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 1In which our heroes get pretty damn tired of fighting zombies. We ineffectually battle said undead, use all of our recent purchases for nefarious purposes and defile a sacr...ed crypt. Krif rages at his ineffective familiar (again), Princess Ansley smacks herself in the face with a lute and Leo dreams of being a Harlem Globetrotter. So join our party as they stab a flaming zombie, get lots of grease on their boots and encounter the rarely seen Zombie Suicide. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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San Spence Radio, we're the caster of worthless spells.
There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table talking about the damage their longsword is doing.
But that's exactly what we're going to be doing today.
Welcome to episode 8 of D&D is for Nerds.
Ali will be playing Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather.
Hello!
Jackson will be playing Criff Pum Pumcriff.
Yeah!
And Joel will be playing Leo Shadow.
Damn right.
And I'm your DM,
Adam Courtmarshal.
That's not your name, Adam.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Previously on D&D is for Nerds.
Hey guys,
so let me just school you
and zomp those
zombinis.
Zom, zams, zombie.
The crypt is mainly underground.
Sneak in, sneak in, sneak in,
you fucks.
I guess I can not
sneak as well as I thought. Leo
Shadow's downfall is that he just
he thinks he's the best.
Zombos don't have proper dicks anymore.
That's the first bit that rots away.
I feel as though if I could take an
arm of the zombie, could I beat
other zombies with the arm? Grease.
Grease the ground.
Get greased
zombies. No, just clock him in the fucking
jaw. Yeah, nah. Peer pressure. Let's do this.
And he bites your hand. Guys!
That's the worst advice
ever. Have any of you done
damage to a zombie? No.
No? No.
So Ainsley, what's your move?
Can I hit one with the loot?
And then not be fighting anymore?
I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you.
You've got a new ability called Rapid Shot at level 2.
Right.
What that allows you to do is...
I feel like you could have told us this a very long time ago.
Would that have changed the tide of battle?
It wouldn't have changed too much
because you haven't really done anything with your bow.
Okay, all right.
It wouldn't have hit points to...
Yes.
You guys can stop talking now.
Thanks.
So what's my magic ability that's not magic at all?
So rapid shot allows you to, I think I wrote some stuff
on your character sheet about it.
Can I grab quickly your character sheet?
And what it allows you to do.
I'm not helping.
You are being troublesome.
Very much so.
So what it allows you to do.
Oh, I did write it out.
Oh, cool.
So it allows you to, with your bow, you can attack twice.
You're less likely to hit, though.
So it's used for like either lowly armored enemies,
which zombies are, or enemies, like multiple enemies,
multiple weak enemies.
You get more shots but less likely to hit.
Okay.
Sick.
Do that shit.
Or smack them with a loot.
Or I'll set them all on fire.
We've got a lot of options here.
I like all of those options.
I believe it's your turn, Angel.
I'm going to start with smacking someone with a lute.
Okay.
Because that's it.
Yeah, no, I want to hit a bitch.
Let's go.
No, take that out.
Wait.
I do not want that to be recorded.
You do not want to hit a bitch.
Ali.
That's a pity because that was an 18.
Oh, well, you can still give me an 18.
Ali wants to hit a bitch.
No, it's okay.
I'm going to keep that one.
And I'll leave that in the sizzle reel.
No.
Okay.
Okay.
So you charge with your loot.
Shit.
You slam it into the side of one of their heads.
Okay.
I'm going to say the one that is bearing down still on Leo.
Oh, fuck yes.
Did I save you?
You, like, crumple it.
It's just barely standing right now.
Yes.
All right. Progress, guys. Cracked. You like crumple it. It's just barely standing right now. Yes! Alright, pro dress guys. Cracked. You're all
zombie rubes. You have
they're your flavoured enemy. Oh actually, no wait, I'm wrong.
You are my flavoured
enemy. You flatten it. Yes!
Sick. Die, Zambo.
Drops.
Zambini.
We have a mage.
The loot is pretty badly damaged
You've got maybe one good hit left
in this thing
You've got one good hit but then like a billion shit hits
Maybe like two more bad hits
I call out my loot
My loot
My gift of music
Kriff, it's your turn
Oh god
I will just hurl a spear
Good
That'll help
I think you have to take a step back
Oh wait who did they
No they've been bearing down on Leo over here
I did the trip through the grease
Oh yeah
They have to fumble through some grease
Quit crashing Adam what the fuck is Jigalump doing
Just being a piece of shit You better tell have to fumble through some grease to get me. Quick question, Adam. What the fuck is Jiggle Lump doing?
Just being a piece of shit like normal. You better tell him to do stuff.
He's like curled up around your legs.
You're not going to fight zombies without being told to.
Jiggle Lump, you piece of shit.
How powerful was it in your fucking life?
Oh, my God.
I hate you with the fashion jiggle lump
Well the feeling's mutual
You don't even need to say it
Jiggle lump just hisses on your shoulder
Fuck you jiggle lump
You hit with the spear
Oh yes
You spear a cunt in the gut
I mean it's not gonna do a lot
That's the second time
I've done exactly the same.
This does not work.
You like, yeah, you spill some zombie guts.
Do we need a moment?
Do we need a moment?
Are you going to be all right?
I sneeze my headphones off.
Powerful.
You spill the zombie's guts, but zombies don't really need.
Zombies don't give a fuck.
Okay.
And Leo, do you want to make another attempt at the block?
I'm just going to piff my...
What I want to do is I want to throw my club at a zombie
so it kind of hits them, but kind of bounces up around near Ainsley
so she can start using it.
That's what I want to do.
Okay.
So basically you want to
just temporarily for this round become a
globe tropper?
Yes.
I want to use my halfling roguelike
magical skills
to piff a club
and make it ricochet.
And then you want to just
get a basketball and just spit it in front
of one of the zombies
While they do nothing about it
I know
And then like get a ladder
And score a basket like that
And that's okay in the rule book
I think I got this
Not only do you miss the zombie
Damn balls
But the club like falls in among them.
Ainsley, you
could grab it if you wanted to. That was for
you. But you would probably
get attacked in the way.
Is there...
I'm going to hit one with the loot.
It's their turn, actually.
Well, that's rude. Charge you down, Jackson.
I mean,
how far in Norway am I still having trouble? To be fair, That's rude. Charge you down, Jackson. I mean, Kriff. Kriff. Kriff Pompom.
How far in Norway am I?
I'm still having trouble.
To be fair, your name is fucking stupid.
I should have gone with an awesome name like Leah.
Oh, fucks up, Heather.
He sells boosted CD players.
He does.
Would you like to buy one?
Would you like to buy this loot?
Or pizza.
Off the back of a car.
Do you sell pizza?
Nah, just boosted CD players. one. Would you like to buy this loot? Or pizza. Do you sell pizza?
He like, you know, charges and like, you know,
clatters against you, but you just like
push him off.
Yuck.
You stinky.
Okay.
And that puts it
at Ainsley. I'm going to hit another one
with a loot. Seemed to work pretty well last time.
Solid as hell.
Yeah.
You miss with the loot.
What's wrong with everything?
The loot isn't really aerodynamic and made for combat,
so you're a bit clumped.
Eh?
What?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It really doesn't help that it's already somewhat broken.
Well, with that attitude, yeah.
So you swing and you miss,
but you don't hit, like, a wall or anything like that,
so it's still, like, got another good hit in it.
Okay, let's do this.
And, Griff.
Oh, that's what I wanted to do.
I wanted to take my lock out
My amazing lock
Grab it in one fist
And use it to smack some zombies
Yes
Okay
That can only be a good
I was not impressed
I'm so mad at you, Jackson
As if it were brass knuckles
You take the lock out
And smash it into a zombie's face
The lock breaks
Oh no
I'm an idiot
I should have just died
You smash the zombie's face up
It's like really badly damaged
It's still coming but you did serious
fucking damage how many zombies have we killed you've killed one there's four left oh my god
oh these zombies oh my god oh wait oh no you took one down yes sorry i forgot they did yeah no you
did the scattershot thing that's right motherfuckers three zombies that's easy yeah that's a cake walk
that's a walk in the cake and i love cakewalk. That's a walk in the cake.
I love walk caking.
Love a walk in the cake.
Leo, this is such a great time.
Just going to sling.
Yeah, no, that's fine.
It's a bludgeoning weapon.
That's right.
You threw your glove.
Oh, I tried.
Go on.
Your bullet skips off the wall and breaks a coffin.
Whoa, what a fragile coffin.
No, powerful.
Does a corpse be like... Slip out?
No, Jackson, it just breaks a hole in the coffin.
It doesn't break the coffin apart.
The bullet just pierces the coffin.
Oh, my God, did you think that it just broke the coffin apart?
I was like, that's a fragile coffin.
Yeah, I thought the exact same thing.
I was like, is's a fragile coffin. Yeah, I thought the exact same thing.
I was like, is this coffin made of glass?
Okay.
Actually, you know what?
I'm going to level with you guys.
Mine was a lot worse because I thought it made like a hole and then pressure.
I don't know.
I don't know if I can explain that one.
No need.
You're an idiot.
Here we go.
Okay.
So, and that makes it the zombies time.
Is the grease dried up or is the grease still just there?
I think the grease is dried up.
I don't think it lasts long.
Damn.
Yeah.
I can make more grease, though.
That would be a pleasure.
Actually, no, wait, no.
If I make more grease, we all just tumble again.
And it's a bad time.
Grease doesn't last that long. The zombies are pretty greasy, though. If I make more grease, we all just tumble again. And it's a bad time.
Grease doesn't last that long.
The zombies are pretty greasy, though.
My shoes, though, like the bottom of my soles of my feet, covered in grease.
Can you imagine grease mixing with crypt dust?
I just get clumpy.
Yeah, the grease is probably finished.
Yeah.
Damn, damn, damn.
Yeah, it doesn't last long.
That's all right.
I can deal with that.
Okay.
Zambos, come at me. Actually, the block of wood is gone as well.
Come to think of it.
Yeah, it only lasts three rounds.
See that wood?
For some reason, Leo, you've only just noticed it's gone.
Ah, ah.
Guys, my plans have just...
Guys, I'm out of ideas.
One of the zombies turns around and comes after you, Leo.
Oh, no, guys.
Two of them keep bearing down on... Oh, Griff, you're actually with Ainsley now,
so they're coming after both of you.
Super.
I'll throw you at them.
They're so slow, though, they can only just get to you.
Yeah.
And Ainsley.
Hit him with a loot.
You got him.
Real hard.
You got him, Ains.
Come on, man.
Ains got the gains.
Come on, critical hit.
Yes, he's going for critical something.
I don't know which one's which, though.
That's a critical fumble.
That's a crumble fumble.
That's for a different type of thing.
You stab yourself with the wood.
So maybe you pick up the critical hit.
Okay, so you know how when you break,
when you have a string-type instrument,
you can break the wood, but the strings will hold?
Oh, no.
So when you're swinging, you knock the lute against the wall,
and that happens.
So the main part of it is just hanging loosely,
and so you miss the zombie and smack yourself in the face with the lutes.
With the lutes.
Blood knows.
Enjoy.
You're like somewhat disorientated for the next little while.
Probably because I got hit in the face with the lute.
You can still fight, but you're a little impaired right now.
Okay.
Kriff.
Let's fucking go.
Send your cat to do something. Yeah, I yelled at him to do something last time. You didn go Send your cat to do something
Yeah, I yelled at him to do something last time
You didn't yell at him to do something, you yelled at him
Oh yeah
I yelled at him to do something this time
And hurl an alchemist's fire at the nearest zombie
Okay, so, two things
Thing number one
You want to take a step back first
Thing number two Alchemist's a step back first Thing number two
Alchemist fire will deal damage and probably catch the zombie on fire
It will however
Do a similar thing to Ainsley
Oh no
And probably also Giggle Lump
I don't care about Giggle Lump
He can fucking die but I don't want that
I don't think Giggle Lump has ever been pronounced
The same way
I know I don't want that. I don't think Jiggle Lump has ever been pronounced the same way.
I know.
All right.
Fucking fine.
I'll just like crossbow. What you could do is if you targeted like the back zombies,
you could get nothing but the zombies, but it's a harder shot.
Yeah, I'll do that.
Okay.
So there's a higher chance to fuck this up and just do nothing.
You know what I just want to point out real quick so we started this adventure this this this
this one um by buying a whole heap of shit we're using it all all of it is nearly gone the lock's
broken you guys are james bond and the bell's gone the bell's gone the the loot's destroyed
the uh alchemist fire sails over and beautifully strikes your intended target,
splashing all over him.
The zombie catches fire in a vibrant and very quick way
because of the age of their clothes and stuff like that.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Sick.
It doesn't look like it's doing much initially,
and it sparks to all the other zombies, so they all catch some of the fire. It doesn't look like it's doing much initially And it sparks to all the other zombies
So they all catch some of the fire
Doesn't look like it's doing much initially
But can I get a highs or a lows?
Highs
Lows
Highs?
I'm going to go with the highs
Because that's better off for you guys
Sick
Yeah, the zombies catch fire
Awesome
You're welcome, gang
And you were putting this off for so long.
Leo, one of the zombies is coming towards you.
It's on fire, too.
How close is he?
You can still sling if you want.
He's like maybe five, ten feet away.
Can I take a couple steps back?
You're at the wall right now.
Damn.
If you want to go through the door.
From the door, yeah.
It could be a trap.
It could be, but
it's probably not. Check the traps like frantically
with your hands behind you.
I would give you such a big penalty.
I know. Sling
in the face to him.
It hurt? Yeah, you hit him.
Yes. It.
That farmer said they're no longer people.
It. Oh, yeah.
It strikes him in the face and like staggers him a little bit.
I want to take all these zombie heads and tie them to my belt.
Okay.
Just as like a, we got you zombies.
And then you can put a zombie head next to each of these heads.
You will not be welcome in any town ever.
Leave them on the cart outside the city walls.
Don't let the town guard find.
Why?
Bury the mule.
Find your collection of heads. Imagine
if a police officer... Zombie heads!
Imagine if... They don't know that.
They just look like dead people.
Imagine if a police officer
went into your home and
just from... Bad idea,
Chris. And found
a bunch of decaying heads.
Chris, don't. It's not on? No. We're saying And found a bunch of decaying heads. Griff, done.
It's not on?
No.
We're saying a no.
I'm saying it's a red hot maybe now.
Blanket no.
It's gone from 100% yes to like a 40% yes.
The zombie slams into you.
One of the shambling, fiery hulks slams into you.
And two others slam into everyone, basically.
Uh-oh.
Evasion. Opposite of what we wanted.
Only again.
You're making me mad.
Okay, you, Leo, manage to fend them off.
You just dart out.
He slumbers and slowly tries to grab you,
but you just come out between his arms.
What up?
I burn to death yes
one of them latches onto you Jackson
and like
bites you in the shoulder
you take six points of damage
hey guess who's on one point of damage gang
it's this baby
good luck I'm a going to die yeah you are It's this baby Good luck
I'm a going to die
Yeah you are
I mean
Maybe not
You got this
I had a good run
You died a nobleman
I am a nobleman
And yeah
Ainsley
The one that just comes at you,
you don't even need a dodge, it just
doesn't get you. Oh, that's good.
It's completely blind because there's
fire in its fucking face.
Okay. Oh yeah.
Also, they take damage.
Oh my god, they keep getting
ones.
Don't look at what I'm rolling. I can't help
but see, it's right in front of my eyeballs what I'm rolling. I can't help but see.
It's right in front of my eyeballs.
I'm going to move some books so you can't.
Yeah, there's not a lot of room here, actually.
No, don't. I'll stop looking.
It's alright. That's also a solution.
It won't help us, so don't worry.
Yeah.
Okay, Sue.
Ainsley, your turn. Ainsley, come on
Your loot had two good hits
And one of them was you
Now use the bad hits
Or just scattershot these cunts
That's your skill
That's your skill
You have scattershot
And she has
Why have I not been using that?
You already did
Oh, that's right.
I'm out of spells.
Yeah, I reckon I'm going to do this rapid shot bizzo
and hope for the best.
You take a step back.
As always.
Yep.
Yeah, you hit twice.
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
Like that?
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, one of the shambling monks.
One of the shambling monks, guys.
Monks were buried here.
What is this place?
One of the undead creatures just collapses.
You kill another one.
Yes.
Two left.
Two left, easy.
Again, we're walking in cake, mate.
This is the easiest thing.
It says, I'm on two, you're on one.
Griff?
Whatever, crossbow. I like crossbow, one of these guys. You take a stepiff. Whatever. Crossbow.
I like Crossbow, one of these guys.
You take a step back as well.
Is Jiggalug done?
That's my bad.
I forgot.
God damn it.
I just like him.
He's just sitting there like.
Jiggalug, I'm dying.
Jiggalug has like found a fish.
And is just owing down on that.
I hate you with every fiber of my body, Jiggle Lump.
You're the worst pet.
You're familiar.
You actually had complete control over how that cat would act
and now you're like, I fucking hate you.
Why must you be so useless?
It's like whoever created you wanted you to fail.
He's pretty stupid.
Take your pick, me or Jackson.
Either one of us could have wanted Jigglepuff to fail.
Jigglepuff.
Jigglepuff.
Oh, man.
Never been said the same way twice.
No, it really hasn't.
I think for a while we kept calling him Jigglegump.
I've got it written down in front of me i'm looking at it right now
right here and like jackson you could be somewhat excused even though you picked the name it's like
a couple pages deep i have one summary page and i get the name wrong you get everyone's name wrong
so it's fine actually i've been doing pretty well with you yeah and griff too and griff recently
leo he's being pretty solid. Leo's a regular human name.
Ain't Leo's as well.
Oh, wait, no, you got that one.
So, yeah, you're good with human names.
Cat names, no.
Surprisingly.
It's not so great.
Or half elf.
I defy anyone to name their cat Jigloplop.
Jigloplop.
J-I-G-G-L-A-L-E.
J, I've been spelling it with a G.
How's it spelled?
It's, oh my God.
You both, you are spelling it Jiglump for some reason, Adam.
J-I-G-G-L-U-M-P.
Jiglump.
Go again.
J-I-G-G.
Oh God, I've lost it.
This fucking cat.
In both reality.
J-I-G-G-L-U-M-P.
For those playing at home,
you can write it down as well.
Well, all I did was add an L,
so shut the fuck up, Jackson.
How are you saying it?
I mean, Griff, shut the fuck up, Griff.
Griff is yelling at zombies.
This is how you spell his name.
This is how you spell my cat's name.
That's it. Minotaur's not me.
No.
But imagine.
Okay.
What did I do?
Oh, that's right.
I like crossbowed someone.
Yeah, you missed.
Dang.
That was the longest wind-up to a miss.
Your cat does something.
Oh, finally.
It does between your legs and does nothing.
I hate this cat. It, like like latches itself onto one of the
burning zombies, but then it's like
ah, ah, ah, burning! Fire!
Why do I have this cat still?
You just like, you just
from it, like you have a mental link that you share
with it, the cat's like, what the fuck, man?
What the fuck?
Do your job!
The cat is so mad with you.
I'm mad with it.
Of equal proportion.
This poor cat.
Magic.
So, Leo.
Come on, Leo.
Where is my cudgel that I threw?
It's, you've got to dart around this zombie to get it.
Do you want to try a tumble?
Have a tumble, mate. If you tumble, you get to it and you're good
Yes
Do it, tumble that shit
Hey!
Tumble past
You pick up the cudgel
Can I have a smack with him in the head as well?
No, you're too far away
Throw it again
Throw it at his head
Throw it at the one that you were in
Tumble by
Throw it at his head Because, hey, the one that you were... Tumble by. Yeah, cool.
Throw it at his head.
Because, hey, it's near a wall, so it'll bounce back.
So it's him. I don't know if I was thinking that'll happen.
He's a rubber ball.
Either way, I'm good.
I'm good.
It's a wooden club.
It hits his back and he stumbles forward a little bit.
But you didn't hit him with a lot of force.
He's fucking twice.
Sorry, two left, two left.
That's all right.
Good job not passing it to Ainsley as well.
You're right, Ainsley.
Rapid shot.
That worked last time.
What hit points are you guys on?
Two.
In.
15.
Jackson.
Yes?
One of them tries to attack you.
The other one comes back for you, Leo,
but all it can do is get to you. The other one comes back for you, Leo, but it just
all it can do is get to you.
I like how in slow motion this fight
would be.
We have so much time to work
it out and we're like, damn it!
You guys can move and attack in one turn.
They can just move or attack.
Guys, can you imagine how this would have
gone had I just thrown the alchemist's fire?
At the start, yeah. Or if I just waited have gone had I just thrown the alchemist's fire? At the start. So well.
Yeah.
My goodness.
Or if I just waited.
Or if I just handed the club.
Oh, wait.
That's right.
Alchemist's fire.
Oh, yeah.
Still getting them.
Yep.
Super.
Welcome to death, Zambos.
This is your second death.
Zumbles.
Zambos.
Yeah.
That's what you get for being greedy.
Trusting the Zambos.
These Zambulances.
Welcome to Zamsterdam.
Anyway.
Gold star, Jackson.
I already had it written down.
Another one?
My first one wasn't legitimate.
I would.
I would.
It was a false star.
So for those playing at home, a gold star means that if we get five.
Five and I'll get you a drink.
We get a drink.
That's pretty good.
So far I have won.
You can choose a health potion or a cider in real life.
A health potion in real life.
Oh, my God.
Lose a gold star.
Don't actually.
It's okay.
I'm not that mad.
I have no gold stars.
It's okay.
Well, you know, the night is still young.
I think it's Ainsley's.
Yes, it is.
How far away is that damn club?
You could move past the zombie and Jackson
Who are struggling with each other right now
Give us a hand
I'm gonna do that
I'm gonna say the zombie is like so intent on biting Jackson's like throat out
That it doesn't even notice you
Oh wait no you threw the club that's right
Oh my god
Yeah you can get to the club pick it up threw the club, that's right. At his other zombie's back.
Yeah, you can get to the club, pick it up, and then attack.
Yeah, that's fine.
Sick.
We are ending this now.
You missed.
Ali has the worst luck.
I know.
You pick up the club and you just go for a crotch shot again.
It's like before we went in, we had a little meeting where we were like,
dick shots?
Dick shots, guys?
You know what I've heard?
I might be wrong, but I've heard that those zombos, they hate it
when you just clock them in the dick.
Right in the cock. So let's just go for that.
The pubic bone, just they hate it.
Leo, sorry. This baby boy?
I guess I'll just crossbow, try and crossbow again.
Okay. I don't have any...
You're like backing around the corner now.
You're backed up so much.
You hit.
Yeah.
Don't do any damage.
Oh, my God.
This fucking zombie.
He sucks so much.
He pierces his lungs, but it's a zombie.
Yeah, I know.
Well, I guess it's because I'm using a fucking crossbow.
I should have bought a mace.
Yeah, we all should have bought maces.
Well, we asked for clubs and he's like,
oh, there's a physical wound.
He's like, oh, I've only got one weapon, guys.
Stupid farmer.
Carry seven clubs.
Yeah, that farmer only carry one weapon
and that weapon be a length of wood.
Is my cat doing anything?
Oh, right.
Yeah, that's right.
Wait, no, you're not on fire? Oh, right. Yeah, that's right. Wait, no.
You're not on fire. Oh, yeah. Jiggalump just
won't. It'll try. It doesn't do anything.
Damn. Good on you for trying, Jiggalump. Cats are not
like combat-based creatures.
Well, I couldn't get another familiar
so he'll have to bloody do.
You are
never going to get rid of this cat.
That's my prediction.
That's my promise to you, Jackson.
Who's turn?
Leo, now it's your turn.
Cool. Can I just rape a
rapier? A rape? You want to rape?
I'm going to grab
my rapier and just
stab that flaming zombie.
Just
stab. Don't aim for the nuts.
You hit.
Oh, yes.
That's always good to know.
You don't.
You pierce along.
This fucking's obvious.
This fucking's obvious.
Do you want to just move on?
You're.
Let's just go through the door.
Are we on the same side as the door?
You're on the right side.
I'm not.
I'm getting pushed down the L.
You guys could leave.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
So Leo and Ainsley, you're both near the door.
All right, let's call out.
Call out to Jiggle Lump and Kroof and be like,
hurry up, we're going through the door.
I'm done.
Guys, but there's loads of zombies.
I'm on two.
I need to rest.
Or at least check out.
You can rest on the other side of the door. There might be more at least check out. You can rest on the other side of the door.
There might be more zombies.
There's going to be guys on the other side of the door.
You guys really don't have a lot of time to have this conversation.
We're doing it in quick, short bursts.
We're going.
No!
Is effectively that conversation.
Leo.
Oh, that's right.
You had your thing.
Zombies.
Does it do any damage at all?
No.
So stabbing was a bad choice.
Yeah.
You want to use your sling thing.
That'll deal damage.
I thought it would do some damage.
No, the rapier is like, like I said,
bludgeoning weapons are what you want to use.
Piercing weapons is possibly the worst thing to do.
That's like all we have.
Yep.
Now that I've used my lock up.
Should have just thrown my, what have I got?
Grappling hook?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That worked well the first time you guys tried.
Well, it did.
It worked really well.
But then it's not going to affect these bastards.
Well, that's right.
Oh, no.
I've used up all my spells.
Never mind.
Ainsley, you get attacked.
Ooh.
Critical failure.
He might be dead. He might have killed Ooh. Critical failure. He might be dead.
He might have killed himself.
Again.
Because he's already dead.
That doesn't make sense.
He's attacking you.
Oh, no.
We'll get another one.
Just that one didn't make sense.
Like that one was specific to someone who's wielding a weapon.
Whirlwind of shame.
I feel like I've felt that before.
I feel like I've also been caught in a whirlwind of shame.
Yep.
Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
D&D talk.
Whirlwind of shame tonight.
Where have you felt the whirlwind of shame?
Somebody just like stumbles towards you,
but slams its own head into a coffin overhead and kills itself.
Yeah!
Yes!
Now we just get the one fighting me and we're done.
And we're done. We're out of the game. Which burns to death. Yeah! Yes! Now we just get the one fighting me and we're done. And we're done.
We're out of the game.
Which burns to death.
Yeah!
Who are champions?
Who are the best at fighting the undead?
Us.
I believe we are the best.
Can we just run into the middle and just hug?
Just like, we did it.
We did it.
Pile the zombies up against the door.
Let's sleep.
Yes.
Let's sleep for a thousand years.
Feel free to cut this part out out but I just remembered as well
it's slashing damage
for zombies
bludgeoning damage
for skeletons
so you guys shouldn't
except for what
so you fucked us
out of God of War
I didn't really fuck you
because you still
mostly have piercing weapons
but it was
slashing damage
we were after
did we have anything
that slashes?
I would have given you
a sword
instead of a
daggers daggers slashing or daggers piercing? daggers can be slashing yeah oh well whatever we made it out off you. Do we have anything that slashes? I would have given you like a sword instead of a cudgel.
Daggers.
Daggers slashing
or daggers piercing?
Daggers can be
slashing, yeah.
Oh well, whatever.
We made it out.
We're good.
Back to the celebration.
In the next fight
it'll just suddenly
be slashing damage.
Which is good for you
actually because you've
got the long soldier
steel slashing damage.
Finally.
Okay.
Okay, so yeah.
I think we're going
to do the old
sneaky tactic of
pile the dead bodies up against the door and nap.
And have a nap.
Classic sense-bent strategy of pile the bodies against the door and nap.
It's tradition.
It is tradition.
Because we get fucked up by so many fights.
How many HP are you on out of curiosity, Ali?
15.
Piece of shit.
What do you want me to do?
Tank, tank, tank. Just run in there and Ah, 15. Piece of shit. What do you want me to do? I can't. Tank.
Tank.
Tank.
Just run in there and punch, guys.
When did you take three points of damage?
I think the fire.
When it bit my hand.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
I should have punched it in the mouth.
Yeah, so the one thing I could do, just punch him.
It bit me.
Hey, get a gold star.
Oh, I get a gold star.
I'm going to put one up in the corner.
Good.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's curl into a ball.
Nap time.
And a sad little bloodied spoon.
A sad little, you know, yeah.
Good.
A sad little bloodied spoon.
Sleep in Among the Dead, both recent and old.
And we'll leave it there.
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