D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott II #15 A Kingly Note

Episode Date: June 4, 2016

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 2In which our heroes prepare for the long journey ahead. We have a heady blast from the past, consider a ten year waiting list and discuss the TV show 'House'. Cassius has never fought a book before, Princess Ansley has a quiet word with Greyson and Leo was fast forwarding it. So join us as the Dungeon Master realises all the many, many mistakes he made. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

San Spencer Radio, stretch before listening. So, if you could do us all a favour and head to podcastawards.com and vote for us, that would be much appreciated. You can vote once a day, every day, until June 12th. Voting resets at midnight, Eastern Standard Time. I'm not quite sure what time that is for your time zone. For Melbourne, it's like 2pm, so just Google. And yeah, that would just mean so much to all of us if you could do that. Thank you in advance, now enjoy the show There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table

But that's exactly what we're doing here today Welcome to episode 40 of D&D's for Nerds I'm Jackson Bailey, playing the part of Cassius Christie Next to me is Ali Kathleen, playing the part of Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather Can you pass the dips? No And across from me is Joel Zammett, playing the part of Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. Can you pass the dips? No. And across from me is Joe Zammett playing the part of Leo Shadow. Can you pass the dips to me? Nobody gets the dips. They're my dips.

And of course, our maglamorious DM Adam Camelot. I have a name tag. I have a name tag. I'm not reading it. Previously on D&D is for Nerds. Ainsley gets back first. Oh, God.

These intruders, while they have broken our customs, are free to go under our laws. I'd like to spend my time in Mara being scared of the real dwarves. The gem is maybe if you made a baby's fist. That's ridiculous. It's like... That's not practical. No, it's not.

Which one do you want, Cassius? Both. God damn it. At the same time? Yes, I'd finish Smoke a Pipe Blue. It's not as much as I would pay a normal caravan guard, but I think you earned a little bit for your trouble. Oh, thank you.

Even though this was completely a waste of money for me. I said thank you. Run away with trouble. Oh, thank you. Even though this was completely a waste of money for me. I said thank you. Run away with me. No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!! No! No! No! No alone and jump to Leo and Cassius. Cassius! So, what do you guys do when they ask for a moment? We'll go outside and just kind of... And I'll start chatting to Cassius and be like, hey. Yes? You know, since the

um... Grayson's armor, Ainsley's ring. Broth. I've got a couple of wands in my backpack. Oh, you took stuff, didn't you? And I've got a couple of wands in my backpack. You took stuff, didn't you? And I've got this circlet of persuasion and this cloak of resistance.

Let's have a look in the bag and make sure it ain't. So what I'm thinking, if they're not deadly, just sell them, sell them off. Sell them quickly as well. Very quickly. Yeah, well, let's go find somebody, like a merchant who'll buy some magical boots. Are you going to actually take these items out

and have a look at them first? We'll open the bag and look in. Okay. You shift stuff down. At the bottom of your pack is a molten sludge. I don't think we can sell this. How did it say in the bag? We're going to need to go through your character sheet,

find all the items that you took. I didn't take anything because I'm... Oh, we sold it all. We bought those ones. Yeah, no, anything you bought is fine, but actual items that you took. I didn't take anything because I'm... We bought those ones. Yeah, no, anything you bought is fine, but actual items that you took are not. It's all in Leo's bag anyway. Yeah, that's it.

Yeah. How did it not melt through the bag? Are the wizard's heads in your bag? They sure are. They're in such bad shape. That was before the acid. Only one of them was even preserved. Oh, God.

That one's probably okay in the glass jar, but the other heads are just... The whole time we've been tracking with all these different groups, they've always been like... What the fuck is that? That's why you didn't even notice the sludge. It's just the constant reek from your bag is basically unchanging.

All those dwarves are like, God, that halfling smells like rot. It's just the constant reek from your bag is basically unchanging. All those dwarves are like, God, that halfling smells like rot. Let's go find a merchant because I need to buy a new backpack. He's like our first board of call. That's step one. You're probably going to lose all your rations as well. They were in the bottom. Okay, let's just do this step by step. I want to find a merchant and we'll buy a backpack.

Okay. Backpack will set you back two gold. I just know that off the top of my head. Good job, Adam. How come it didn't melt through the backpack? They're very sturdy. It's a tough backpack. Is the backpack made out of iron?

Once it had built up enough sludge. Oh, probably hardened again. It's just like making sludge, essentially. Okay, so let's see here. So my bedroll, flint and steel, they're good. They're all fucked. I need to start rolling percentiles for your stuff. You're going to hop in your sleeping bag

and you're going to put your foot down the bottom and be like... Well, obviously the backpack's gone. I'm just going to put X's next to the stuff that you lose. I like to imagine just tipping it out in a little alleyway, just tipping it out and seeing what comes out. Basically, I want to be like, go to the merchant, backpack, thank you, we'll be right back. Go to the side alley, tip everything out.

What can I salvage? What can I need to sell? What am I going to leave in an alleyway for a small child to play with? It's a mining town, Alan. There's no small children. One small dwarf to play with. That would be so cute. There's a lot of human rot and

molten sludge. What happened here? We're going to start some kind of crime mystery. Can you imagine if someone was trying to hunt us and they just follow us along and be like there seems to be a donkey at the bottom of the road. That's weird.

We followed them to this wizard like this pirate town We found this cat but then they scarpered Back to where they came from Now I've got to go back Surely they didn't make the whole What the What are they making these decisions

Wait which head did you You've got written down Norton's head Yeah we took Norton's head Do we? We never gave it to anyone, I don't think. Oh, did we take it? We took it back to the guard, and then they told us. We did, yeah.

No, no, but then he told us to take it to someone, and did we? Yeah. This one is the one that you got preserved. Yeah. But it's not written down here. Maybe I meant Carter when I wrote Mary for Ben. Matt, you meant Carter when you wrote Norton. Let's assume that.

What about the other fella? We got his head, right? Fenia? Fenroy. Oh, you meant Carter when you wrote Norton. Let's assume that. What about the other fella? We got his head, right? Fenia? Fenra. Oh, and Fenra, yeah. Oh, and David. Those heads are... We got a lot of heads.

Oh, what happens when they're sludgy heads? Do the skull remain? It's like barely even recognisable as human. Is there a skull, though, or is that gone? No, not even a skull. It's like barely recognisable. They're going to have to take our word for it. Well, we can just harden the sludge

and give them that. Like shape it into a skull. Here's Crypt Bomb's book is still okay. Protected by my magic. Bad news, your wand of knock is completely useless. But that was the cursed item anyway. Good. Oh, you're right.

So now your wand of knock and the wand of monster, they were both from you're right. Okay, so now you're one of... Oh, no, the one of Monarch and the one of Monster. They were both from the thing, weren't they? Yeah. What about the hat of disguise that we kept using? You were wearing that, weren't you? Yeah, your hat of disguise wasn't in your bag. No, no, but is that cursed as well? No, we bought that.

No, we bought it. No, we didn't. Did we pick that up? No, you didn't. That's right. Yeah, the hat of disguise would have... Were you wearing the hat of disguise? I completely forgot about this.

You were, weren't you? At one point, yes. You would have taken some damage, but assumedly you would have, the hat of disguise would have... Were you wearing the hat of disguise? I completely forgot about this. You were, weren't you? At one point, yes. You would have taken some damage, but assumedly you would have taken the hat off. Like, it's not hard to take out... You can just even bend down. What about my circle of persuasion? Wait, who was wearing the hat of disguise?

Not me. Not you? Oh, that's right. No, because he was dressed as... They got him to dress as Majigamoo. David. He took the hat off, yeah, and then the... So. So, just a little bit of backtracking. You would have taken the hat off,

and then the seer... Not the seer. Everyone would be like, where did that other guy go? No, the fucking... What's her name? The shaman. The shaman would have explained the situation.

Yeah, what about my other two magical items that I was wearing? The Circulate of Persuasion? You would have had to actually just take that off. And my Cloak of Resistance? They're all shit. I am so... You would have taken some serious damage, but it wouldn't have been enough to kill you.

I was on like eight health, Adam. Maybe three at one point. No, not even with... It didn't do a lot of damage. It's all just like crippling. Scarring. Yeah, scarring like crippling. Just scarring. Yeah, scarring, crippling. You've got a gross body now.

I have sweet scars. How Grayson was able to survive for so long. Yeah, it was like two weeks. That's a good point. Yeah, it's literally just searing pain. I am so happy right now because I said to Zamit, stop taking it, stop taking it. I didn't take anything either.

What about my dagger? My cool dagger thing? That's not magic. Not magical. Only didn't take anything either. What about my dagger? My cool dagger thing? It's not magic. Not magical. Only magical items actually have that. And the coins, but you guys don't have any of the coins. Not anymore. Only the magical items and the coins.

They're in circulation now. Somebody's going to be like, I'll just... No, somebody's just going to be like, I'll put this coin in my pocket, in my coin bag, and then they come back later. Sludgy. It's just a solid gold sludge. Hey, I expect an apology, Leo.

That's gotta be worth something. Because I said, like, oh, it's gonna happen. You're like, no, no, no, it'll be fine. Well, look, there's no point in going back now. I'm just saying, like, I made sure we sold all the curse gold first. You only have Carter's head now. You'll just have to give them your word that you killed Leo. Good.

Oh, gosh, guys. All right, so I'm going to need to buy another backpack. I need to buy a lot of other stuff now. Rations, maybe? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. How much to replace most of this stuff? Like the flint and cinder lantern. How often do you use flints?

Never. You don't need it. Not once. You can cast Magical Light. Oh, wait, can you? Take your spells. You can. Oh, my God, no way.

I already erased it. You had a lot of useless spells, Jackson. He did. He did. I can cast Dancing Lights. I have three Alchemist's Fire I haven't used. Maybe I should just hurl them right away. A lantern and hooded lantern.

Save it for the lady in the lake. I will. We need some rope, though. We need some rope and some thieves' tools. Oh, man. Thieves' tools were fine. Did they? I mean, no, it's fine.

They're all good. Oh, no, that shouldn't be an X there. I must have misplaced that. Because I definitely remember, like, haha, it would be so funny if he lost the thieves' tools, but then I was like, oh, no, it X there. I must have misplaced that. Because I definitely remember like, haha, it would be so funny if he lost the thieves' tools, but then I was like, oh no, it's not. I must have accidentally, I must have just hoped or wished that I put an X there.

You dreamed so much and so hard. Well, Leo, looks like a lot of your stuff is destroyed. True. Hey, you want to hear something funny? I didn't adjust your charisma. It just didn't work Because it was Kerr Yeah

Alright Oh wait I've still got that spell David's spell book I want to examine David's spell book That I haven't opened yet Are we going to open it?

Not yet I'm going to step away Like in the alleyway In the back alleyway Next to the shop How about you put it Down the end of the alleyway There's no back alleyway

Next to the temple It's like in the square We'll find an alleyway Yeah we'll find the alleyway, in the back alleyway next to the shop. How about you put it down the end of the alleyway? There's no back alleyway next to the temple. It's like in the square. We'll find an alleyway. Yeah, we'll find an alleyway where we can sort this shit out. Put it at the very end of the alleyway. We'll get a long stick and open it. No, I'm not going to open it. I want to inspect it without opening it.

Check for traps. Just to see if it's... Check for traps, rogue. That's exactly what I was going to do, Cassius. I'm going to do my fucking job Do I tell you how to drood? No You detect no traps

When do I ever drood? Hey, there's no traps Pop it open Yeah, pop it open You pop it open You guys, who here has seen the third Harry Potter movie? I have seen it all You know when that book comes alive

Oh no That happens But there was no I have seen all. You know when that book comes alive? Ah, yes! Oh, no! That happens. But there was no... You said you checked it for traps. I did check for traps. Leo, the book bites you. Oh, son of a bitch. Son of a bitch.

Book's biting us. You take three points of damage. Let's fight a book in an alley. Fighting books, fighting chests. That's the a book in an alley. Fighting books. Fighting chests. That's the dream. Can I scatter spray it? I did fly in because I'm going to do it if I can.

No, you wouldn't be able to. Just scatter spray the stones in the square. There'd be a lot. There would be a lot, wouldn't there? Around here. Dwarves are like obsessively, compulsively... But Adam, I have a launch item. Oh, wow.

It is a random item. If you have a random item you want to launch... No, I want to launch the book. You can't launch the book. Let me have fun. Actually, the book would get a save against it. Good. Do it.

Yes. I'm going to launch it into a wall. We'd be like, okay. Hang on, let me... Never mind that book. That was more trouble than it was worse. I'm trying to think what I can druid at it. I could create water onto it.

Flaming sword it. Yeah, just cut it in half. Okay. Wait. Initiative first. Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you have to find a book.

You're having a lovely little time holding Grayson's hand and we're fighting a book in our hand. Cassius, you're first. I'd like to run up and punch it. Never fought a book before. You punch the book. I hope I knock it unconscious. You break the book apart.

Champion of the world. You run up, just knock it out of Leo's hands or whatever, punch it on the ground. It breaks apart into different pages and the cover and stuff, and then it catches fire and slowly burns. Can we try and get a good look at it before it burns up? Yeah, it looks like flames. You can burn your hands if you want, sure.

Nah. Oh. Nah. I'm sorry, I broke your book Leo That wasn't my book it was David's Also we've lost heads Fenris and David's We probably should have preserved them

I'm guessing they were Getting a feeling you as a group don't Us as a group don't think things out Well hang on Fenri and David were the ones Who killed with you so Well For Fenrir

I kind of hid behind a rock That's true That's true And I don't think I was even there for David I was in the fighting pits

But nevertheless You distracted all the orcs Yeah That's true You were very So what are we gonna get

another couple skulls? No Pass them off. I guess we'll have to. Maybe. I wonder if that red mon will give me a note saying we killed David. Like a note from the teacher? Yeah.

It's hard to say. Yeah, like I got a note from my parents saying that I killed him. I got a note from this dwarf. He said we killed it. I mean, here's a hot idea. We ask the king instead. Oh, I give Gus the king. Just that guy.

Yeah, we'll ask the king. We'll ask the king. Also, I'll give Gus the king. Just that guy. Yeah, we'll ask the king. We'll ask the king. Also, I need to buy some rope. I'll be right back. I want to buy some rope. Would you like silk or hempen rope? Let's go silk. Douse yourself.

We always have silk rope. Be a little decadent, guys. Just get some silk rope. What's the other rope? Silk rope is 10 gold, whereas hemp rope is significantly cheaper. I think it's like... Oh, silk rope. Get silk.

Yep. Because we had silk before. We ain't fucking around with none of this hemp rope. Come on now, guys. There are magical ropes as well. Oh, my God. There's like troll gut rope, which starts out really small, but then stretches to an amazing length.

What's the best rope for lassoing? For lassoing? Yes. Probably hempen. Oh, not hempen. Sorry, silk. There's no magic lassoing? For lassoing? Yes. Probably hempen. Not hempen, sorry, silk. There's no magic lasso rope? No. I guess you could get an animated rope,

but animated rope doesn't do a good job. Like, if you try to lasso someone, they'd just be like, no. The rope isn't very strong. That's a shame. I think there's elven rope in some book somewhere that gives you massive bonuses, but it's not magical. That's a shame. Maybe we should go elven rope in some book somewhere that gives you massive bonuses, but it's not magical. That's a shame.

Maybe we must go see that king of the dwarves. What was his name again? The king? King Rassius. Well, he's never called himself king. The lord. The general. Garrett Ironbones.

You assume him to be the lord here. The Tsar of the land. We'll go chat to him. Let's go to the Tsar. Adam's already sick of our nonsense. Adam's already reached peak. Unhappy. Glasses are off.

He's pinching the bridge of his nose. So you go to the castle, quotation marks. Duke of the land. There are guards out the front. What goes you what business Leo please oh hey

yeah we would just like to speak to the king what's his name again Ironbones Ironbones is that right Lord Ironbones

yes Ironbones because we killed that we killed the wizards but due to an unfortunate accident we've lost any evidence of it

so it would be nice if we got like a note saying that we did kill David. David and Jenra. Do you have an appointment? One of the guards says. Yeah, you can. Cool, I want to make an appointment.

He points back the way you guys came. There's an office building a couple blocks that way You'll have to make an appointment with an aide How bureaucratic Talk about brain tank You'll probably be put on a 10 year waiting list Oh shit

It might not be worth it How long's the waiting list? About 10 years Never mind, let's chip off Dwarven bureaucracy does not account For the fact that dwarves live very long lives. We live puny human lives. It's kind of funny because a human could get convicted in dwarven lands and the dwarves are like, it's okay, it's not a life sentence,

it's just 200 years plus time served. Somebody should do something about that. Let's at least go ask Rudman. Yeah, we'll ask Rudman. Because we know him. Okay, you want to go back to his store? Yeah. Well, not back to his store, you guys haven't been there yet.

Okay, as you guys are doing that, I'll jump back to Ali because that's going to take some time. Although there's not a lot, like After you have this conversation with Grayson, are you going to just chill with him for a little bit? He needs sleep. He still needs to recover. Yeah, he needs sleep. Get him some milk of magnesia or whatever. Milk of magnesia.

You mean milk of the poppy? Yes, milk of the poppy. No. Adam is so sick of it. Adam's like, what do I do with this information I hate them So Technically not being allowed to be influenced

By these two idiots Ainsley what do you want to do Is there anything that I can get for him to help him The clerics are doing all they can You don't fancy you can do anything better than they can You need sleep And there's not much else to do. Yeah, probably just stick around.

Good book? Any good books around, guys? You've got a good book in your inventory? We just bought a book. Inventory. No, it's where you invent things. Invent a book, Ainsley. That's all right.

You could borrow a dwarven Bible. That sounds stupid. Read up. Hang on, are you the same religion as Gracie? On the first day, the gods created the dwarven race. On the second day, they messed around. Found some gems. Actually, in actual dwarven mythology, it's like the gods created halflings were like,

not good enough. Created gnomes were like, not good enough. Created dwarves were like, just right. gnomes were like not good enough created dwarves I was first just right like the Goldilocks when do humans comment on it

are they just like we don't know humans actually don't figure into dwarven creation myths that's super weird there's no like myth for where

they came from oh it's like dwarven it's just like we don't believe in humans no it's just like they came from across the seas

it's never really explained cool yeah so I guess we just sort of chill out It's just like we don't believe in humans. No, it's just like they came from across the seas. It's never really explained. Cool. No. Yeah, so I guess we just sort of chill out, relax. When he does wake up, probably have a bit of a chat about what he wants to do, where we want to go. You know, all that sort of shit.

Well, you'll be sleeping the night here then? Yeah. Well, yeah, there's not a lot going. It's pretty quiet. There's nothing like... Exciting happening. Yeah, that's... Yeah. Well, yeah, there's not a lot going. It's pretty quiet. Like, well, not... There's nothing, like, no quests... Exciting happening. No quests going on in the temple.

No. No bounties to be had. Yeah. So I guess we'll jump back to... Muggins and Muggins over here. Leo and Cassius. So you get to Redmond's shop. It's open.

Hi, Redmond. Hello, Redmond's shop. It's open. Hi, Redmond. Hello, Redmond. Hello. Hi. It's like him standing behind the counter, and then there's like a young dwarf who's like an aide running around. He's maybe like equivalent. He's probably like 50 or something like that,

but for a dwarf, he's like equivalent 10, 15. I'm going to go and look around and like let Leo do the talking, and I'm just going to inspect the gems. His story, his work. There's a massive array of different gems, like necklaces, rings. It's pretty impressive. Dwarven craftsmanship is not about elegance but about perfection. So, like, perfect circles, perfect squares.

I'm a dwarf. I know that. You must swallow it. Very perfect. Anyway, so, So Leo you're talking Hi Redmond Hey Just wondering if you could

Maybe give us like a Like a document Or a note Like a statutory declaration Stat certificate I guess A stat deck of saying that David That wizard we killed is dead

Because we were going to take his head But It was like a little Unfortunate mishap With acid You know what Graceland got But that but in my backpack. We lost a head.

You took the head? It's kind of our thing. It's kind of messed up. How else are we going to prove he's dead? Won't they just take your word for it? You don't know that. Granted, we don't know either, but our seer told us.

Yeah, our seer said to keep the heads yeah he said keep the heads the dwarf shakes his head humans are weird hey man elves I'm a dwarf he's a half-lake you don't know what you're talking about yeah I reckon I could whip up like an official statement

thank you thank you very much appreciate that Radman I'm assuming for money um I hadn't thought about that until now Leo are you ready Thank you. Thank you very much. Appreciate that, Radman. I'm assuming for money. I hadn't thought about that until now. Leo, are you ready? I'll do it for four copper. Oh, that's nothing.

I'll pay for it. Can you say whatever? I'll give him the four copper. I'm so fucking rich, guys. I think it's because all of the money has been party funds. I don't think I've spent an iota of any of the money I have. I have a gold left. I need to get some of that sweet party funds. You're not taking my money.

I don't know. I'm aware. It's ten copper or silver, yeah? Ten to ten to ten. Yes! I have four copper. I can just erase that if you're having math troubles. No, no no it's fine what happened to our eraser

I'm figuring it out we lost our eraser already no it's under there oh sorry I thought it was more nuts there are nuts listeners Ali's pulled back the screen there are deeds nuts

oh yeah I don't understand what just happened Adam's testicles are out during oh no we'll sit comfortably I DM completely nude except for the cloak I wrap myself Yeah. I don't understand what just happened. Adam's testicles are out during. Oh, no. We'll sit comfortably. I DM completely nude, except for the cloak I wrap myself in.

It's the only way we can get Adam to do it. We wait in the store and admire the jewelry whilst he writes it up for us. Okay. It doesn't take him long. It's like basically along the lines of, yo, officials, to whom it may concern, officials of carcery, it's like basically along the lines of yo officials to whom it may concern officials of carcery

I, his name have officially didn't witness officially verify that Cassius and co successfully killed the evil wizards

I'm the dwarf I get it it's a dwarf thing he does like Cassius and friends that is exactly what you're asking not that you would know because you don't read dwarven I do not Cassius and co killed the wizard David O. Patterson

signed Redmond he like folds it up gives it, a little bit of a seal, and then hands it over to you. Sweet. As I leave, I'm going to be like, Leo, like, good on us that we did that, but are they going to trust the word of, like,

he's just a jeweler, right? It's better than nothing. What else have we got? I guess we can't wait for ten years for the king. That's a good point. Going to go see if well you can 10 years is not the blink of an eye but it's not a long time

it's like a hot weekend for you I don't want to spend my time in the island of Mara fucking and drinking sounds like the best time do halflings have a shorter life? halflings are like human lifespan orcs live to be about 40. That's like if they don't die of combat.

Oh, poor orcs. 40 is a human 80 for orcs. That's super weird. I like deer. Let's just go back, see if Ainsley and Grayson are finished. They still need their little alone time. You get back. Ainsley is likeson are finished. They're still a little alone. You get back. Ainsley's like, I don't know, maybe you're...

Grayson is like lying down on a slab. Slab. The beds there are made of stone, so it is a slab. All that conversation was all in my head. She's just like moving like... I wish I was that clever. No, don't make me sad. He's like moving like... Come on. I wish I was that clever. Oh, no. No, don't make me sad, Adam.

So anyway, yeah, it's like Grayson is laid out on the bed and maybe Ainsley is like head on his chest, you know, sleeping as well. Aww. Little angels. How sweet. Yes, he is. You have warmed and I have warmed to you. I'm lovely. The moment we go in, I'd be like,

maybe we should just find somewhere in town to spend the night. Do you want to ask a cleric and see how long they're covering? See how long we have to book a room? That's not a bad idea. We'll go find the nearest cleric. Hopefully not one working on someone. Hey, mate, you can find, maybe not a cleric, but an acolyte and ask him.

How are ya? Grayson, he's a mate of ours. We were just wondering. Over there with the burns. We're just wondering what his situation is looking like. Are we talking days, weeks? The cleric

goes back to the front. There's a front counter when you come in, almost. It's more The cleric goes back to the front There's like a front counter when you come in Almost It's more of an altar But it doubles as a counter Because they've got scrolls and stuff there He takes out the official record for Grayson

Grayson's shot Yeah basically He pushes back his white coat Holds his stethoscope Turns around and says It's not lupus Pushes back his white coat. Holds his stethoscope. Turns around and says, it's not lupus. Then he walks away on his little cane. Yes!

We're just going to have an episode of House. I wish I could, yeah. That would be amazing. Half. He goes into a room and there's a black dwarf there, a female dwarf, and an Aussie dwarf. Would lupus in this world be like you turn into like lupine? Mummy rot.

Lupus is mummy rot in this universe. It's never mummy rot, guys. That's funny because you'd think mummy rot would be one of the easy things to diagnose. You're like, has he been near mummies? Yeah. Yeah. It's probably mummy rot. He got bit by one.

Oh, no, this one. Mummy rot. Yeah, we're waiting for him to check the chart. Yeah, anyway, he checks the register, comes back and says, the official recommendation is from this day maybe six days. But he'll be walking tomorrow probably. Did we want to give them time to rest? Maybe try and let's like scout out a ship.

Yeah, that's not a bad idea. I feel like that's like at the end of the sixth day. Yeah. We'll give them the six days to stay here you know let's go charter a ship you guys probably need to heal a little bit don't you

nah I'm good oh alright like emotionally maybe but it's been a trying couple weeks it's been a trying couple weeks well we'll roll I'm just gonna fast forward

those six weeks yeah go ahead six weeks six weeks Jesus it was worse than we thought six days heal better

oh my god so first off Where are you guys gonna stay For those six days? We'll fight There's the one tavern In town Yeah

That'll be a total of Three gold each I can't pay this I gotcha That'll include meal though Ainsley has all my money Ainsley You don't have to pay

If you just wanna stay At the temple The food there is sparse at best. You're kind of eating the dwarven equivalent of communion wafers and wine.

Good. But you can live on it. You guys could probably deliver muffins and eggs in the morning. Muffins? The way you sounded that, to me it sounded like

you guys could if you were good friends. Occasionally Ainsley comes by to the tavern and she's like, so you guys could if you were good friends like occasionally Angelique comes by to the tavern and she's like so guys what did you have for breakfast and we're like

just you know muffins, eggs I had wafers and apple and blackcurrant juice guys you could not find juice on this island to save yourself

even the orcs don't drink juice okay anyway I'm sure we could find a way to feed each other. Anywho, yeah, you pay that and... It's like...

Open your mouth, Cassius. Let me put this muffin and egg in. Now your turn, Aiden. That's a weird bonding thing to have. We know. It's not right. You find a ship heading in the same direction you're going. They're not going to Karsari,

but they are going to Jaren's Outpost, which is the nearest major settlement to Karsari. You'd actually be going past, but it's like... We don't want to leap out, I get it. How much is it going to set me back? I know I'm tight. He asks how many people and what race. I've got money.

Four. One dwarf, one halfling, two humans. Plus an owl, but he'll look after himself. The dwarf does some quick calculations in his head. I'd say maybe for all four of you, 20 gold. Oh, done. No worries. I got this. Look, as you've taken me in,

you know, we've had some good food, haven't we? Meals included, he says. Oh, good. Well, basic food. You'll be eating what everyone else is eating. Meals with in quotation marks. Hardtack and like lemon juice to prevent scurvy. What is hardtack? Hardtack is like

nuts, berries, that sort of stuff. Oh, delicious. I'll pay him now. Why not? Basically, just food that lasts for a long time. Also, I hope the halfling can handle a drink or two, because we have no water. Oh, no.

I don't know if he can. The ale's pretty watered down, though. The dwarf gives, like, a bit of a chuckle. Would I have an aversion to drinking? A little dwarf. Do I get it? Is he giving a dwarf joke? A dwarven ale is just ale.

I chuckle. Would I have an aversion? The last time we got drunk, we lost a friend. You might have a little bit of an aversion to it. We got drunk in the temple, remember? That's true. We had a great time. Adam, during the six weeks,

I'd like to just commune with nature a bit, just if there's any animals on the island. There were very few animals on this island, and there are even less near Mara. Six days. Any animals that did live around here or plants were just hunted out. Were there, like, crabs on the beach? No, not even.

You could not find any life forms other than dwarves. Anywhere near this. Start a gambling ring. That'll take about six days, won't it? Yeah. Yeah. Why do you guys need to get into trouble? Why can't you just have a quiet six days?

I was fast forwarding it? I was fast forwarding it I was fast forwarding it It happens, it's gone, in the blink of an eye Poof, gone Six days have passed, no gambling No communing No getting into trouble or outing fights on the streets Everything passes

Those are the three things I was planning No fist fights God damn Maybe a couple fist fights Good, yes Those are the three things I was planning. No fistfights. Oh, no. Maybe a couple fistfights. Good. Yes. I feel like that's how. The numbness escalate past what you can handle.

Like Adam is channeling my mum when we went on family holidays. Ali, why don't you call me anymore? We're like, we're on the way. We're like, mum, can we do this? Can we do this? No, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. And she's just so sick of our shit.

She's like, that's it. We're done. There's going to be no happiness. There's going to be no joy. We're done. We're on the way. We're like, Mom, can we do this? Can we do this? I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. And she's just so sick of our shit. She's like, that's it. We're done. There's going to be no happiness. There's going to be no joy. We're done. We're going home. Everybody be quiet in the back seat. Everyone be quiet or I am turning this D&D game around.

It's like you're all level one. You meet at a tavern. Adam, no. Too far, Adam. Although. No. We'll pass. You're on the boat. You're Adam. Although... No. You're on the boat. You're waving goodbye to Mara.

It's like Pokemon or something. We wouldn't wave goodbye. Redman's on the island. He's waving back. Pikachu's on your shoulder, Cassian. The voiceover guy rehashes the lesson for today's episode Don't gamble yourself Don't piss me off

That's the lesson Uh huh Wave goodbye to Run And while the Pokemon closing credits Play in the background You watch Mara disappear in the distance And we'll find out who Team Rocket Addressed as next time

On D&D is for Nerds. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch. D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns

that were once only available to Sandspans Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favorite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.