D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott II #18 Dogs Say the Darndest Things

Episode Date: June 25, 2016

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 2In which our heroes get onto the trail of Kat-The-Red. We arrive at a small town, get settled and get to know the locals. Cassius casts a bunch of stupid spells, Princess Ansley scouts for wedding locations and Leo should be praised when he does good.. So join us as we talk to a dog. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

San Spence Radio gangsters took my thumbs and they were right to do it. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around the table trying to differentiate types of elf, but that's what we're going to be doing today. Welcome to episode 43 of D&D is for Nerds. Sitting around the table today we have the sun elf, Ali Kathleen, playing Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. Are they the ones in Lord of the Rings? We have the grey elf, Ally Kathleen, playing Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. Are they the ones in Lord of the Rings? We have the grey elf, Jackson Bailey, playing Cassius Christie. Are they goblins? And we have the high elf,

Joel Zamet, playing Leo Shadow. Were they the goblins in Lord of the Rings? As always, I'm the moon elf and your DM, Adam Cliffnotes. I don't think that's an elf name. It's as good as we're gonna get, guys. It's as good as we're gonna get! Previously on D&D is for Nerds.

You guys helped me out with a little something something. Yes. And I'll say I saw you kill Fenrir. It's called a blighter. We're not killing any wizards. We're not decapitating anyone. Seeking one out. It's literally just finding her and then sending a postcard.

We're in a zone of truth right now. But we can't lie. Yeah, you guys can't. You guys are asked to explain. I don't miss Chris. I'm marrying Ainsley for her money. Stop being born in the ocean. She's cast some sort of spell on her animal companion

that makes it appear like a human. It worries me, though, that our plan has boiled down to wing it once again. Standing with Bad Bronze at the wheel that drives the ship, Leo asks if Cat the Red will bolt if she sees you. So what happens if she detects that we're there? Is she going to scarpe or is she going to attack us?

Well, you're not the first people I've gone to. I've sent some of my own men to go in. The first time she just like relocate the first couple times she just relocated but the most recent one um she burnt uh two of my best men to smoldering crisps who stealth is going to be your biggest advantage here so track the land as a druid surely you can do that track through the land and as a rogue, gather information in town quietly.

All right. Okay. Yeah, seems good. And then, where'd your two friends go? That's a good

question. I'm like, I look for them. I wish we had telepathic. I'd be just like, stay away. Get out of here,

Cassius. And highs or lows, Leo, because you haven't done one yet. Don't fuck me Leo lows okay

you get below decks you like open the common room and you're probably like you open the door as like it was just like a quickie just so Grayson could show you that it worked still and you open the door as like Grayson and Ainsley are pulling their pants back on.

Oh my god! I'm so sorry. No, you know what? That's not... Well done! I pat them both on their backs. Yeah, good. Grayson, like mutters, if you say anything...

My lips are sealed. You won't survive the journey. You salty dog, Grayson. Punch body shoulder. Okay. Give him a punch. Give him a shoulder punch. Oh, good times, guys.

So the trip from Karsari takes about as long as the trip to Karsari. What? That would make sense. I don't even get it. I do, Adam, I do. Adam, come on. You're traveling along the coast a little bit, like a couple days away from Jaren's outpost, and you come to this small

little fishing village. Like I said, a podunk town. There's not much going on here. There's maybe ten standing buildings, and one of them is the fishing building. But they keep the boats and gut the fish, that sort of stuff, when it's all prepared.

You pull in here. Oh, you don't pull in. You moor off the coast because they have no piers big enough for your boat. And you have to row ashore. The Captain Bad Bronze drops the boat with you guys in it. And as he's lowering you down, he explains the situation. If we stay here for too long, he might recognize the boat. And so he'll tell,

or it'll tell Kat what's happening. So we're just going to drop you off here quickly, hold on to the longboat. I want it back, though! Longboat's worth a lot. Either bring me back the longboat, or you can pay the hundred gold it cost. Yeah, understood.

And then I'll come back in maybe three days. You row back out to about here. Three days from now, we'll come up, pick you up. If you've got anything for us, yada yada. If you don't, yada yada. Yeah, understood. Okay.

I give him a little salute. He gives you a little salute back. Oh, don't die over this. It's not worth it. We will. Got it. We will try not to. No promises.

I got a lot of other people I'm willing to kill. Fair enough. Who I'm willing to let die over this. Before we hop into that, I was going to say, hey, Grayson, did you want to stay with... On the boat, why not? On the boat, because you are clearly injured.

He's fine. He's getting better. Trust me, he's fine. And I wink at you. Yeah. We're not going to be doing any fighting, right guys? Grayson says Hopefully not

Well no, but Grayson, we're not doing any fighting But we're tracking and stealthing So I'm thinking the smaller party The better That was just a joke A rhetorical question, if you will I'm going to be staying in town For when you guys mess up.

No! Good plan. I'm just going to sit at the bar and drink and if I hear something useful, I'll let you know. Okay. Cheers, Grace. Thanks, man. It's really good. Alright, we'll roll up to town. Oh, you're going with them? No. I mean, like, they'll be

away for days at a time maybe Well only three Oh I'm sorry It's three not enough But we kind of need someone to help track I can track Alright then me and Ainsley Me and Cassius

Me and Ainsley will scour the town And you two can scour the swamps He says with like a little smile As if he knows what's in store for you two. I feel like we've got the bomb deal. I think so, because I was going to do some sneaky rogue shit in town. That's what the guy said to do. Well, I was better at tracking when I saved his life, but you know, whatever. Look, look, look.

You guys can just oppose Grayson if you want. You're not the ones engaged to him. We're too scared, like all three of us. Look, Ainsley is a very good tracker herself. Same with Cassie or something. And then both in the trail would be nice. How about we spend one day in town working out what's the lay of the land. We can ask some sneaky questions. Be very subtle about it.

While we're doing that, maybe Cassius and Ainsley can go off and do a little bit of scouting ahead. And then day two, me and Cassius, and maybe Ainsley if she wants, can go into the swamps and have a bit of a look around. Get an airboat. They don't exist.

Magic airboat. Are we't exist. Magic airboat. Are we going to gator it? No? Yes. We'll just see how it goes. We'll get into town. We'll stay together. We'll split up.

So who's rowing? I'll row. Okay. You are pretty strong. Are you strong? How do I know how strong I am? You just can feel it. You have a strength score.

Oh, where's that? Where's yours? On the front. Bam. A two. You have a strength. Oh, no, where's that? Where's yours? On the front. Bam! A two. You have a strength. Oh, no, that's a modifier. Oh, you're stronger than I am.

I have a 10. I have a 14. We can help each other. Yeah, we can both. Yeah, girl power. Girl power! Thought I'd lost your character sheet. That would have been awkward.

Lost a time. 18. 18? My goodness. But he's sick, so I'll row. Yeah, but 18, huh? Ah, you do all right. You get to shore.

That's right. Damn right I do. As you're rowing up to shore, you go backwards. There's like some people fishing off the pier. One of them like gets up, sees you, like sees you, gets up, and then like walks back into town.

You're not sure what's going to, you're not sure what that's about. And then, like, a couple minutes later, before you guys have landed still, he comes back with, like, this other guy in light leathers and with a sword at his side. That seems bad. This seems bad. Hello. Come to the pier, yeah? Yes. The man with the sword waves.

My name is Sheriff Tomon. Hello. Good evening. We don't get a lot of people here. What's your business? Scouting for wedding venues. Like you said, rolling bluff. That's not a bluff, I don't think.

I know. You are not having your wedding in this. You can tell from a distance. You don't want to have your wedding. He narrows his eyes suspiciously. Oh, what a funny joke. Okay, then Cassius. Our first move.

Our first move. We're already fucked While you're here You with any mercenary companies he says No no no you can check us for sigils Not a one Oh I'm sure if I checked you for sigils I wouldn't find a single one He says Just four individuals

Randomly turn up pretty well armed Four individuals I might add, and not a single one of them from a mercenary company. You don't get much of that nowadays, he says, sarcastically. Adam, you're fucking us. Leo, you can explain this. Well, I guess I can't stop you coming into town. What is this in this town exactly?

What was it? Just a podunk? Yeah, ten buildings, the largest of which facilitates the fishing here that is probably the only source of income. We heard you guys have the best drink on. That's not going to work. We've got the best snapper in town. Yeah.

We're actually auditioning for swampy people. Look, whatever you do, don't make any trouble Unless I have to Or I'll have to run you out of town, he says, patting his sword That's alright You're not sure if you can handle him But it's like one to four, surely you can It's alright, no trouble from us

We'll be good as gold Alright He like walks off The fishermen at the pier will give you very suspicious looks I like to wave at them Okay He walks off. The fishermen at the pier all give you very suspicious looks. I like to wave at them. Okay. Just to make them feel welcome.

You all get out of the boat. Yeah. What's the first port of call? You can see an inn in the distance. Oh, not in the distance. Near the water. The sign on the inn says the hanging pig. All right.

Let's go to the hanging pig, but also sneak out of breath. What is actually our... What are we telling people we're here for again? We should have really figured that one out. I kind of overthought that one. Just missed that one in the thinking process. Just passing through. On a longboat, Grayson says. But we've literally come up to this.

We just sail the countryside on a longboat. That's a good point, Grayson. I honestly thought we were going to stop a bit further up and ride in. I didn't expect this. The guy seems fine that we're there. We're not going to cause any trouble.

We're not going to start any bar fights. I promise. Yeah, it's you. He'll just be like, oh, whatever. I don't know why they're there but they're not causing problems alright Michael you know just passing through

just passing through we're gonna keep some cards close to our chest detect animals is that a very loud physical smell I like how you said that

very loud I like the idea of you like we're gonna keep our cards close to our chest but after that question you just had a deck of cards threw it in the idea of you like we're gonna keep our cards close to our chest but after that question you just had a deck of cards threw it in the middle of the room and then ran

where are you animals show yourselves to me reveal your true form demon verbal and somatic so you need to chant magical words and you need to make

magical like hand gestures is there anywhere around that's a bit like, what's my range of that? This town is kind of not deserted, but it's like it's so empty. You could do it on the main street and theoretically no one would see you. But would I be able to, like

how does it work? With your fists! Main street quotation marks. Is it like I use it and then I can just detect that they're near me? It lasts up to 10 minutes so long as you keep concentrating on the spell. And the range is 4 times 40 is about half a mile. Oh, cool. I'll cast it then.

Send Mr. Fist off and then be like, oh, no, my owl has disappeared. I'll try and find him with detect animals. Don't say that out loud. I feel like maybe let's not just throw magic around. I feel like it's just best not to let anyone know we're magic. But nobody will notice if I use it in the middle of the street now. It's like an overcast day.

There's mud everywhere and muck. Anyone who's out and about looks like they have to be outside right now. I'll give it a quick look. I'll have a quick old look around at the people while he's doing it. Okay. You see, you detect, like, dogs here and there, like pets and stuff like that. You detect Mr. Fists.

And highs or lows? Lows. That's it. Oh, shit. Talk to animals What's that? About the same But nobody would notice if I used it

Probably once again, yeah You gotta go find someone's dog, though There's like dogs in the area But they're like, you know Near people's houses I'll cast it then I'm just gonna mark it off Okay

You go to a There's one like out the back The nearest one is out the back Of what you assume to be a general store. There's like a Sully's, it says on the front. And from the window... It's closed right now, which is weird because it's the middle of the day. But if you go around the back...

If you go around the back, you see there's like a dog tie. There's like a backyard sort of thing. Is it just like a mutt? Yeah, a mutt. I kind of... The idea of a purebred is not really a medieval type thing. I kind of hoist up my armor, I don't know, and squat down in front of the dog.

I imagine you're wearing like an armored skirt now. Hoist it up, bend down. So, how you doing, pooch? Cassius is the name. You got any food? No, no, I don't. I got some dead mice, if you'd like some dead mice. I want meat.

There's meat. Give him a mouse. He like sniffs it. It's old. It's rotten. I can't eat this, he says. He eats it. It's a dog.

So, mate. He throws it up. I didn't like that. It wasn't good. Made my tummy feel funny. I'll find you some better meat in a dog. So, mate. He throws it up. I didn't like that. It wasn't good. It made my tummy feel funny. I'll find you some better meat in a moment. I just wonder if anybody in town smells a bit weird. Anybody smells kind of off, you know?

You're like, oh, that ain't the smell of a person. What's that about? No, nothing like that. Everyone smells the way they smell, except that guy. Yeah, tell me about this guy. I don't like him. He smells weird. Every time he comes past, every now and then,

delivering the mail. I get rid of him every time, though. He comes, he puts it in the mailbox, but I'm like, bark, bark, bark. And then he runs. He's scared of me. I get it. He should be. You're frightening. He leaves every time I bark. As he keeps talking, I just hoist up.

Yeah, so. Perhaps that wasn't it. Every time you cast that spell, you need to remind yourself, oh, yeah, it's an animal. So, yeah, not as useful as it could have been. That was almost like a. Wait, I got more weird smelling people to talk to you about. Just a moment.

I'm imagining you've gone back over the chest-high fence. You've gone back over it to talk to these guys. And he's on a lead, nailed into the ground, and you just run up to the fence. He's half hanging off it. He's like, wait, I've got more. Just a moment, yes? A guy, he comes every day.

Yeah, all right. Can you get rid of him? What does he do? Does he deliver mail? Yeah. The mail guy. That's the same guy. You just spoke about him. Yeah, all right. Can you get rid of him? What does he do? Does he deliver mail? Yeah. The mail guy. That's the same guy. You just spoke about him.

Yeah, can you get rid of him? Well, maybe. I'll leave all the meat you got, he says. I've only got more dead mice, and they made you throw up. Do you remember that? I sort of do. Yeah, so that's it. Just the fellow who comes and delivers the mail.

Yeah. Yeah, all right. That's it. I the fellow who comes and delivers the mail Yeah Yeah, alright, that's it I don't know everyone Fair enough, you're a dog I throw him another mouse He eats it and throws it back up Yeah, no, it's like I'm gonna go to the inn

You keep detecting animals if you want You like go off somewhere else Yeah You like, just as you want, you hear in, go off somewhere else. Yeah. Like, just as you're here in the distance. Wait, wait, wait. Ainsley, you hear. I'll be like, does he want to? That spell lasts, like, a very long time.

I'm going to be hearing that for a while. I think that's also... You might not actually be able to have both spells active at the same time. Oh, really? Yeah, I feel like they're both concentration, and you can only concentrate on one spell. So you can cast detect animal. Does that mean you

can just let you keep it, sense in it? Yeah, I keep it going, I think. Then if that helps, just keep having a little wander and see if anything pops up. Oh, no, it's not concentration. So you can have both active. Oh, sick. But it'll only last for four minutes, speak with animals. Oh, that'll be good. I imagine as we walk through town, I'm hearing like,

hey, hey, what? What are you doing? Your butt. I like the smell of your butt. Good. It's like two dogs in the distance that are having a conversation. I ate something. Where's this guy?

I don't know. What's this thing in the air? I don't know. Dogs are a confusing breed. Dogs are idiots. Squirrel. Okay. All four of you wander into the bar.

No, all four of us? Or are you still... No, I'm not talking to the dogs anymore. We spoke to the dogs and now... I thought you were just going to have a bit of a wander and just do the... I'm going to see in the bar if there's anyone around. Detect. Animal in the bar. It's still going.

All right. Yeah. Cool. You don't have long. You have four minutes for that speak with animals. No, that was speak with animals, but I'm still casting detain. Oh, detect animal. Okay.

Which is like half an hour. 20 minutes. A while. I forget. Yeah, it was quite a while. Let's just say. Enough time to search the town. Yeah.

Okay. So in the bar, there is basically nothing going on. There's like a guy behind the counter who looks a little startled when you guys come in. And apart from that, you think you see someone in a corner, but the way the light is playing around here, it could just be a pile of racks. How's my detect animal going? You detect no animals here in the tavern. So long!

I turn around and head outside. Thanks. That was the fastest and pointless conversation we had. Okay, so you mosey back on now. One of many. I begin searching the town for... Okay, I'll get back to you. Ainsley, Grayson, and Leo.

You guys, what are you doing? Sussing. All right. Just some sussing. Grayson'm just going to go Sussing We'll have two rooms for two nights Oh Yeah, that makes it less suss Yeah, good

You know what, you should be praised when you do good Good job How many to each room? The bartender says Two rooms, two in each That will be I don't have my book How many to each room, the bartender says? Two rooms. Two rooms, two in each. Okay. That will be... I don't have my book. You know what?

Actually, I remember off the top of my head. It's two gold. Cool. Done. Easy. I'll pay for it. So two gold total? Yeah, for each.

That was yes to both questions. In total, in total. Sorry. Jeez. I gave you two options. you said yes, and then reworded it, and then agreed with both of those things. It was very confusing, Adam. But we came out on top. Anywho.

Two gold, done. Two gold, easy. I start having a chat to the bartender, like, how's the town, everything going? Just some vague questions. Just small talk? The bartender seems quite very like, oh, okay, let's have a conversation then.

Yeah, not much going on, I guess. It's a pretty quiet town. I kind of mentioned maybe, like, I heard there was some, like, burned people or something. Some burnt people? Yeah, we heard a rumor that... Not that I know of. There was like a murder, no?

Oh, never mind. No, I don't know what you're talking about. Are you trying to like... I don't get out of the tavern much, I guess. Really? That's a shame. Are you doing like a side thing, Leo? What? Are you like asking legit questions?

Are you trying to like... I'm asking legit questions. Remember like... No, they burned down the forest. Yeah, but he said they burned... I don't know. Maybe the town knows about some burning people. You don't know where the fires happened. Exactly. I didn't listen to that. Grayson eyes like leaning down the forest. Yeah, but he said they burned down... I don't know. Maybe the town knows about some burning people. You don't know where the fires happened.

Exactly. I didn't listen to that. Grayson is, like, leaning on the bar. I think I was banging. Grayson is, like, leaning against the bar, and with one of his hands, he just, like, wraps on the table. The bartender, like, glances over him. Be with you in a moment, he says, and he goes quickly,

and Grayson just orders an ale. He gives no shits about this mission whatsoever Grayson no Grayson orders two ales one for me two for him he passes you one

he's such a I'm going to put my backpack I was going to I don't want to put my backpack yeah put my backpack in my room don't want it robbed don't want to get robbed

oh okay oh so you wander off yeah and then I want to wander out of the tavern afterwards as you come back out and Ainsley you would know this as well

Grayson is talking to the bartender now the bartender seems very like oh god two people two people in one day what is this

Christmas that's a D&D Christmas all hallowows-y. Okay, so, good job, Grayson. So, what would he say? Grayson says something to the effect of, like, I'm looking for

like a someone who knows the area. I need to, you know, I need guidance going on. He, like, weaves this story, like, yeah, we came in on a long boat because our ship capsized or something like that. And so we had to ditch. I could have said that.

Let's use that every time. We need to travel by land now. I need someone who might know the surrounding area, preferably someone who lives in the surrounding area. And the guy's like, oh, there's a couple of hermits here or there. Grayson takes out a map and the guy points out some locations. Grayson

once again saving our bacon. We're so glad that he's part of our team. Grayson rolling a 20. Good job. Good job, Adam. In my searching of the town, do I come across any further animals that aren't dogs? Percentiles again. Leo. Hi. I'm sorry. Nothing. percentiles again Leo hi

I'm sorry nothing you fucked me Leo just dogs just dogs although hang on one more time

Ainsley hi hello what oh no that's a bad What? Oh no, there's a bed. What's going on? What's going on? You're like behind one of the houses,

like some sort of abandoned maybe storage building. And from around the corner, one of the fishermen you saw on the dock steps out. Oh no. He's got like a, just like a club in one hand. You look at him. He looks at you, and he's got this fucking look in his eyes. Then you hear something behind you.

You turn around. Stepping on the other side is another guy you saw from the pier, and he's got a sickle in his hands. We fighting? Oh, my God. Cassius. Ain't no mercenaries welcome around this town he says ain't no mercenary in the town that i know of you're right just one dead dwarf they attack oh no we leave you alone

for two minutes this wasn't my fault they both charge you the guy with the sickle tries to you know go at you with the sickle. You ain't going to get me. I'm too strong. I think he gets you. I don't know. Oh, no, he doesn't. What did I say? He tries to sickle at you,

but he catches the back of your dragon hide breastplate or whatever you're wearing. Too good. Who fucking even is this guy? Yeah, it doesn't even bite. Dragon hide isplate or whatever you're wearing. Too good. Let's see who fucking even is this guy. And, yeah, it, like, doesn't even bite. Like, dragon hide is tough stuff. It doesn't even bite through it. The other guy with the club tries to swing as well. He hits.

You're like, because you, like, turned around to look at the guy behind you. You spin back around. Just as the guy with the club keeps you upside the face. Oh, boy. You take two points of damage. Jesus! Leo, you took some damage a long time ago in-game. Many moons ago.

Alrighty. Can I get the name of the head deity? The one that you might curse with? Depends what pantheon. Because I keep saying Jesus. And you want to be like, Are you talking about the dwarven pantheon? Yeah, sure. King Gunther. Oh, great! By King Gunther's

name, I reckon they'd say something like that. By King Gunther's name! But in dwarven, but whatever. That sounds super goofy, but I'll say it! It sounds less goofy in dwarven, I promise, guys. Not to... promise, guys. Not to... Yeah, anyway.

The word fuckboys translates beautifully into dwarven. It sounds like ten muses nibbling and kissing your earlobes. Fuckboy! I still say it in English, primarily. Okay, it's your turn. I'll swing a punch at club guy. At club pain? Yeah.

You hit him. Yeah, good. I feel like you guys are going to be mad at me. I feel like I'm going to come inside and be like I accidentally killed two guys. His head snaps back and you hear like breaking bones. You've like nearly punched his nose into his face

Oh my goodness I'm gonna have to push these guys in the river I'm gonna have to push them in the river The guy with the sickle tries to go at you again I didn't mean He like doesn't even hit you this time Like you nearly broke that guy's face And the guy with the sickle is like

Oh god They've like got more than they bargained for The guy whose nose you broke is like, oh, oh God. They've like got more than they bargained for. The guy whose nose you broke is like, you know, falls to his knees sort of. But then he like holding his nose, he like gives you this, oh God, oh God, oh God.

And he just runs. Good. Does the other guy? The other guy like tried to attack you. He maybe stumbles back a little bit, but he didn't have enough chance to run. I'm going to point, just be like, run, fuck boy. Is that it? Yeah. Yeah, he runs enough chance to run. It's your turn again. I'm going to point and just be like, run, fuck boy!

Is that it? Yeah. Yeah, he runs. They both run. I'll head back into the tavern because I'm having no luck finding animals out here. Okay. That's probably about the same time that Grayson starts rolling up his map and Leo's come back down. I kind of come in over to you guys and I'm like, you should be proud of me.

I didn't fight. I fought a proud of me. I didn't fight. I fought a bit, but then I didn't fight. I smell fresh blood. Hang on. You say you didn't fight, but you just said you didn't. I was attacked. What did you do? I just hit only one of them.

He's fine. They ran. Nobody died. You know what? Again, we ran. Nobody die. You know what? Again, we're going with praise. Good job. Good. Thank you. Thank you, Leo.

I didn't kill anyone. I said well done for not. Oh, okay. Although I'm a little bit disappointed you didn't, to be honest. I wanted to. Do you want to be subtle here, Leo? Do you want to like, I just don't want to sneakily stab him. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, good. Grayson like nods and says to the bartender, to be subtle here, Leo. Do you want to like, I just don't want to sneakily stab him. Yeah, that's fine.

Yeah, good. Grayson like nods and says to the bartender, that'll be all, thanks. He's got like this, oh God, look on his face. Bartender was standing right near you guys. Like not next to you, but super close. Oh no. Give him a gold to keep his quiet. Does he care?

Does he care? I'll slip him a gold. I'll slip him a gold to keep his quiet Does he care? I'll slip him a gold I'll slip him a blowy Do you actually pass the bartender a gold piece? And offer a blowy And actually offer a blowy? I don't think Cassius is that forward Well hang on

Only to other dwarves Is he handsome? Adam's favorite role That's how the whole Grayson thing started See the biggest babe of the century He's um He's 18 He's like

He's like you know The boyfriend you had when you were 18 That's a little good right As in, you know, the boyfriend you had when you were 18. That's a little good, right? As in like, you know, like the young love sort of boyfriend. Gross. He's like, he's good looking, but like cover of teen magazine, good looking. Yeah, yeah. Plus he's human.

He looks like Justin Bieber. It's a whole thing. Is that what's happening? Did you just... Like a pimply Justin Bieber. Yeah, he was basically like, baby, baby, baby. Good. Hang on.

All right. So... I'll just slip him a gold. No blowies offered. Good, because he's so young. Also gross. That's a weird formative sexual experience. Being blown by a dwarf.

By an angry lady dwarf. That'll change you you wouldn't need to bend down bend down, kneel just bend down because it curves up yeah, it makes sense yeah, that's what it does, right guys?

into the belly button like a pigtail like a pigtail, curly we'll offer him a golden wool jog on out to keep his silence into the belly button. Like a pigtail. Yeah, like a pigtail. Curly. We'll offer him a gold and we'll jog on out. Okay. To keep his silence. Make that implied.

No, we're giving him a gold for anything. Just to shut the fuck up. You can't imply that without a roll. Adam said. Delighted with himself. Okay.

Yeah, to imply. To keep his little... Okay. You think he gets the idea. Good. Well, where are you guys going now? Show us the map. You got a map?

Looks like they're greasing. Yeah, greasing unfurls it. Where do you want to go first? How many are there? Four points. Four points. Four different hermits that live in the area. All right, do we want to split up?

There's no guarantee any one of these is the right one. But it's the only lead we've got. I don't think we should split up. All right. As in we all four go to one Or like two and two What are we gonna do? All four go to one

You three go Alrighty You stay here Good luck Grayson I'm not feeling great He says Aww He's also not wearing any armour anymore

So he's not like as He's not battle ready Alright let's do a little circle And kind of maybe just pick the nearest one Then keep going around Take a loop He also doesn't have a weapon anymore, I would think Why?

You guys weren't, like The armor was basically His weapons were basically included in that armor pile that started fizzling That's super sad Did he throw out his old armor? Yeah, we sold it We'll buy some more when we get to a decent town.

He doesn't need armor anymore. Yeah, he's no longer doing some fuckling. You guys don't know that? Jackson Bailey knows that. Actually, to be fair, that would make sense. Grayson would have mentioned at some point that he doesn't want to buy a new weapon or new armor. He's committed to getting out.

Getting out of the game. I was annoyed at the start. Have we clued on, Adam? What's going on? Grayson's not wearing armor. Something's up. You guys are oblivious. He's sick.

He's ill. Grayson might have said that once and he just believed it. Yeah, he passes you the map. You guys can navigate, right? He says. I can track, I think. Pretty sure Cassius and... How do I know that?

Ainsley can. Where do I look at that? Ainsley and Cassius, you can both read a map. That's all you need to do. You don't need to actually track. All right. You have the dot. I believe you.

What's the dot? Hide? That wouldn't be it. Can you stop looking at your character sheets? It's not, there's no math reading skill. He keeps changing the page and going back to that. Leo, you can't do it so well. I've got the reference here.

All right, I believe you. All right, well, do you want to, like, we'll go scout. Send Mr. Fist to the first book. Ahead. He can scout for us. He can scout ahead, and if anything's wrong to, like, we'll go scout. Send Mr. Fist to the first floor. Yeah, I'll send out Mr. Fist ahead. He can scout for us. He can scout ahead, and if anything's wrong, he can come back and tell us. And we can have a little bit of a, like, curious... Before you leave, Grayson, like, makes one more plea to you, Ainsley.

Like, why don't you stay here with me? Caught between her lover and her friends, what will Ainsley do? We'll find out next time on D&D is for Nerds. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up

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