D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott II #19 Hard Target Search

Episode Date: July 2, 2016

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 2In which our heroes go hunting for an evil druid. We ask for directions, discuss how mad Greyson is going to be and everyone gets nervous when the Monster Manuel comes out. Cassius would put up a bit of a fight, Princess Ansley tries to recall Greyson’s story and Leo has to deal with a wolf. So join us as we forget what a 1 on the die means. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sam Spence Radio, gonna wear a dark mantle as a hat. Perfect on your bookshelf right next to the Season 1 tape. Don't have the Season 1 tape? Well, don't worry. Audiobooks on tape have you covered with a Season 1 and 2 bundle. Now, I know some of you might be thinking, it's only four weeks. I can wait a month to find out what happens. And look, these ads aren't too bad. I can just skip them with the click of a button.

And that's fine. I understand. So to sweeten the deal, not only will you get Season 2 completely ad-free, but also SideQuest Volume 1 and D&D's for James ad-free. But that's not all. We also have over 14 hours of exclusive 5th Ed adventures. That's right, adventures. Plural. plural you'll get the continued adventure of Merchant and Sir Greatbirth in The Merchant of Greatbirth 2 Electric Boogaloo as they become the heroes of prophecy to take down the slave owners of Ald Sotha. Dusha joins the fray as the powerful barbarian Gatorade Jones in the Punch Brothers Overture. Gabriel Bergmoza experiences his very first D&D game ever as a slave to Jackson's Augustus Chuff in collars.

And Ali Kathleen dips her toe into Fifth Ed as a maybe senile old dragon man who misremembers his way through scripture to everyone's detriment, and it's all part of God's plan. So head on over to audiobooksontape.com, check it out, and while you're there,

check out the amazing Once and Future Nerd. And if you don't want to commit to buying the tape, just head over to audiobooksontape.com, check it out. And while you're there, check out the amazing Once and Future Nerd. And if you don't want to commit to buying the tape, just head over to their podcast and give it a listen. That's Once and Future Nerd. It reminds me of one of my favorite book series when I was a kid, Everworld. It's by the same woman that did Animorphs and it's fucking great. So just check it out. If you like our nonsense, you'll probably enjoy theirs. And as always, with any purchase from Audiobooks on Tape, you get a free digital download copy, so you can start listening while you wait for your physical copy to arrive in the mail.

Also, for those donating to our Patreon, all the Fifth Head Adventures are available to those donating $30 or more a month. Once again, thank you all for your continued support. You're helping us do some really cool stuff that all of us at D&D is for Nerds and our sister shows in the Sandspans Radio Network can't wait to show you guys. So thank you very much, and now, enjoy the show. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table trying to navigate the complicated racial politics of a fantasy universe, but that's exactly what we're doing here today. Welcome to episode 44 of D&D

is for Nerds. My name's Jackson Bailey. I'll be playing the part of Cassius Christie. Down the road, we have Joel Zammett playing the part of Leo Shadow. Hello. Several stories up, we have Ali Kathleen playing the part of Princess Ainsley Fuggyfeather. It's a nice balcony. And in his own personal estate, we have our DM, Adam Crystal Shoes. This building is made of lies. Shush. Previously on D&D's for Nerds. She burnt two of my best men to smouldering crisps. I'll come back in maybe three days.

Don't die over this. It's not worth it. We will try, Doctor. Go. I kind of hoist up my arm up and squat down in front of the dog. How you doing, pooch? Cassius is the name. You got any food?

Dogs are idiots. Ain't no mercenaries welcome round this town, he says. Ain't no mercenary in the town. That I know of. You're right. Just one dead dwarf. There's that. Oh, no.

You should be proud of me. I didn't fight. I fought a bit, but then I didn't fight. Grayson looks at you expectantly, Ainsley. No, I'm divided between my lover and my friends. If you want, I mean, we can try this. You can stay. That's fine.

We got Mr. Fists. It's all good. And also, the two of us, it may be a bit less conspicuous. Yeah, all right. I'll, like, the two of us, it may be a bit less conspicuous. Yeah, all right. I'll stay back. I'll stay back. You, like, step back to Grayson. Grayson looks at Cassius and Leo, and you see cogs working in his head.

No, go with them. I'm sorry. What were you guys going to do? I don't know. Well, it'll be fine. Keep them out of trouble, please, he says. That's true. I just think my spring blade knife just goes off then.

Oh, boy, what's that? And then a bunch of playing cards shoot out of one of your sleeves. Oh, God. I don't even have one of those. Like a bird flutters out of your cape. Did I buy a magician's coffin? Okay, you three Chuff off. Who's going to read the map?

I'll take point. Adam, have a little laugh. Can I have a read? Nah, I want a read. I always think I'm cocky. I'll be fine. That's true. Leo is Icarus. He always flies too close to the sun.

Roll so low, but your survival is so good. Yeah, boy, you are. Cassius, you get to the first dot without too much trouble. Does Mr. Fist come back at any point to be like, ooh, careful of this first dot? No, Mr. Fist is still circling the area. Every now and then he comes near enough that you guys can touch base mentally. But he's just like, ooh, careful of this first dot. No, Mr. Fist is still circling the area. Every now and then he comes near enough that you guys can touch base mentally.

But he's just like, whatever. I can't really... Is he just like, yo, it's swamp. Yeah, it's a very thick tree canopy. Without even Mr. Fist hinting at it, you can tell it's hard for him to see anything. Alright.

So it's like a little mud brick hut just at the edge of this swampy marsh So it's like a little mud brick hut just at the edge of like this swampy marsh. There's like a light on. Other than that, you know, nothing much else. You can see this like a window and then like a tent flap type of door. But it's, like I said, a mud brick house. Well, we want to make sure

that this is indeed the house of Catherine. What I wanted to... Did we hear what Grayson was telling the other dude? The longboat sinking? Ainsley did. Cool. Did you tell us that? Yeah, absolutely.

So that's a good story we can go with. So maybe we can try... If one of us goes up there and does a bit of a knock, excuse us, we need someone to help us out of this marshland. Yeah. And we can kind of just scope it out and see if this person is there is that she helps us out of the marshland.

She does what we ask her to do. We can ask for some directions. Yeah, we'll ask for directions. We'll go in and ask for directions. Yeah. Do you want all of us or one of us? I think one of us is less suspicious. That's true. You're a druid, so maybe not you. What if they find the other one? What do you mean?

What if she comes out and there's just two of us waiting there? What's the deal with that? Well, we'll hide in the swamp. All right, then. Come on. Sorry. Fine. Come on, foggy fog.

Look, hang on a second. You can be a tree. Oh, yeah. Be a tree. I'll hide because I'm little. Ainsley, you go out and do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can be a tree Oh yeah, be a tree I'll hide, because I'm little Ainsley, you go out and do it I cast be a tree I think it's tree shape is what it's called

No, no, I'm sure it's be a tree I cast be a tree Okay, you become a tree Sick I'll become a tree I'll become a dead shrub Okie dokie Sure Turn into a dead shrub. Okie dokie. Sure.

A shrub? Turn into a dead shrub. And Leo, you're going to make a hide. I'm only little. You can hide in me. How gross. How odd feeling. Kind of good, though.

And Ainsley, you're going to go approach. Yep. Sexually menacing Leo You knock on the wood flap Yeah, alright Maybe like on the Just call out or something Excuse me, hello The flap gets pulled back and this old wizened

Looking man comes out He's got this long beard That curls at the end, and he's completely bald. He stares at you with his one good eye. What do you want? Guys, I've forgotten the story. He's also nude as the day he was born.

What? Nude as the day he was born. Oh, God, I met King Lear, guys. I'd be like, oh, goodness. Ask him about Neighbours. Sorry, sorry. Ask him about Neighbours. Yeah, his neighbours.

The TV show. Oh, his neighbours. Yeah, the TV show. Australian soap opera. Ask him about Neighbours. Sorry, sorry. Ask him about Neighbours. Yeah, his neighbour. The TV show. Oh, his neighbour. The Australian soap opera. Ask him if he loves Tony. Yeah. Who doesn't, though? Sorry. There's a reference not many TV players will get.

I'd be like, oh, goodness, and shield my eyes and be like, I'm really sorry. We got sort of stranded and we need a little bit of help. Can you maybe put some clothes on? eh? no it's fine we'll just ask him about it he like lets the flap go walks back in

do I follow? I don't know do you? wow I mean does it seem like he closes the door in my face? well he closed it after he's like let the flap go after you said can you change oh can I hear him presumably finding you hear like rustling around in the small little after you said, can you change? Oh. Can I hear him presumably finding...

You hear like rustling around in the small little wood hut. Take a little peek. Mudbrick hut. Take a little peek. Yeah, you can see him like throwing stuff around in his place and he's like... He's like obviously mad. Passed an old man.

Does he look like he's coming back? He finds like a... What do you call it? Like a scarf and he wraps that around his crotch. I love this guy already. He comes back. What do you want? I am lost.

I try and recall Grayson's story. Adam, I'm asking you, what did Grayson say again? What was her story? That's a good question. Why don't you listen to us? You've actually forgotten. He says, no, because he says it's a start. You've lost it.

You've forgotten. You like stutter it out, like we, Longboat came here. Distracted by penis. He's like, stop, uh, stop, uh, stuttering around, just get to the point. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, we, uh, Longboat crashed,

you got that bit from the stuttering before. He bares his teeth at you. Ooh, that's gross. And they are. How do I get out of the swamp? I don't know how to get out of the swamp. Can anyone else help me? He runs his tongue along his few remaining teeth and then responds. You want to get out? He points the way he came.

Back that way. Okay. Is there anyone else around here? Just you? Is it just you in the swamp? Is it a nice quiet little area? What's it to you? Just curious.

I mean, it just seems like, you know, you don't wear clothes, so you don't get visitors often, do you? Not many, no. There's a couple bears live over that way, he points. Oh, bears. Oh, that's nice. Hmm. Yeah, bears, huh?

I want to help you, but we are so far away. I know. We're just letting you flounder. We're just letting you flounder. Have a good old time. I want to ask him about other people. No, no. I asked, and there's no one there.

It's fucking bears. Bears. There are people around now. It's fucking bears. Bears. No, people around that. You know from the map. You lived here long? Hang on. You know from the map that the next nearest person is like a couple hours walk. What was your question?

Sorry. What was it? Lived here long. Oh, yeah. Sorry. My goodness. Lord. Don't know what anyone else said.

Don't know what I've said. What am I doing? He scratches some oils or something like that on his neck. Ew. Just get out of there. We don't need anything else. The moment we found out he was a dude, you could have just gone. You could have just gone or asked about his neighbors.

Instead, you're like, I need help out of here. I didn't ask about anything. Bears. Bears, bears, bears. That's all that lives around the coast. Let's shuff off to the next one. Okay. You head over to the next one? Can you pick me up as a shrub?

What a nice shrub. Dang. I fancy you're rooted into the ground. Oh, they could, but you'd damage you. Okay, I'll become me again. If we get rid of your roots, do you lose a leg?

I suppose. And you tripp on over to the next one? This one's like, there's this massive boulder just sitting in the swamp and someone has built their house on that. That's cool. You can tell there's a ladder that leads up to this little ramshackle

house. And you can tell from the ladder that when this house was built and the ladder was put in, the boulder has sunk considerably since then. Cool. Look. This is also in swamp. You guys are probably up to your knees right now in water. And you've had to deal with leeches.

Leeches. Leeches. Leeches for a while now. So Ainsley fucking made a dog's breakfast at the last one. Do you want to give this one a go, Leo? Yeah, alright. Same concept. You gonna be a tree again give this one a go, Leah? Yeah, all right. Okay. Same concept. You going to be a tree again, or are you just going to hide?

I'll just hide. It's probably better. Being a tree is exhausting. Yeah, Ainsley and Cassius like meld into the wilderness. Where'd you go? Oh, my God, I'm so alone. They've done it really well, Leah. You can't spot them.

That's awesome. You guys are still here, right? I'm good. Hurry up. I'll be back. Just before he gets out of earshot, I want to be like, watch out for bears.

Who said that? Is this Swamp Horn? So if it's up to my knees, does that mean I'm up to my chest? Sorry? If it's up to their knees, is it up to my chest? Pretty much, yeah. Oh, great.

Oh, boy. I'm swimming through a swamp. I swim up to the boulder. You have to drag yourself out of the muck and onto the ladder. Ew. It's a squelching sound. Yep. You take the...

It's a wooden ladder. You take the wooden rungs one by one. Uh-huh. And every now and then, you hear this creaking sound, and you're a little afraid that it's it's a wooden ladder you take the wooden rungs uh one by one and every now and then you hear this like like creaking sound and you're a little afraid that it's just gonna break i am god i scarred the top you get to the top when you get to the top there's like this fire bracket uh like a metal sort of fire bracket that you couldn't see from not being on when you weren't on the rock it was like obscured but now you can see it. And there's like ashes

like someone had recently had a fire there. You maybe put your hand near it and it's warm to the touch. So you think there's a fire there recently, but it's out now. You can't see any lights on in the little wooden house. Hello! I call out. No response. Have I got to the little wooden house?

There's no like handle on the door, so you can just push the door open. I do that. Okay. That happens. You hear a low growling sound from inside in the darkness. Hello? A wolf leaps out at you.

This bad. What a wolf! I didn't say be careful, bears. I didn't say be careful, wolves. You didn't. That's on you, Ames. I'm sorry. I tried to prepare you, and I failed.

The wolf, like, leaps out at you, but sort of you're saying, you back up, your leg trips on the fire bracket thing. You fall into that little metal pit, but that saves you as the wolf leaps over you. It lands on the other side, and now we go to initiative. All right. Can we see this? You've probably heard Leo yell. We'll be fine.

He's a tough little guy. Is Mr. Fists freaking out? Mr. Fists can't see this from the tree canopy. Through the tree canopy, I should say. Do we help him? No, I've got this. This is a wolf. You know what we should have done?

We've got like a code word. Like the ear tagging. It goes in for round two. It's like, it's just a wolf. I'm fighting. He's like, I'm dead. Got him. Oh, he's going to die.

Oh, no. We'll wait for Sam. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, dear. That's a crit sad. Crit sad for Leo. Leo's getting attacked.

So I'm saying crit sad for me. Like, isn't it sad for crit sad. Crit sad for Leo. Leo's getting sad. So I'm saying crit sad for me. Like, isn't it sad for him? It's sad for me. The wolf got a crit hap. Critical fail. Do you guys remember what the one on the dice means? Oh, I thought you grabbed the crit good. Yeah.

Crit hap for Leo. Okay, so the wolf bites itself to death So this little metal bracket thing is held in place by like four metal prongs Stick out and keep the ball set Oh no The wolf leaps onto one of those prongs You hear it like Like give a bit of a yipping sound

It's obviously hurt itself You see like a tear and blood comes out Leo it's your turn It's not impaled It's not impaled but it's hurt itself. You see like a tear and blood comes out. Leo, it's your turn. It's not impaled? It's not impaled, but it's hurt itself pretty badly. Damn. Because I would be like, I'm gonna put you out of your misery now.

It's like Neil, it sort of tore itself open a little bit on it. Eww. Just kill it. Put it out of its misery, Leo. I'm so sorry, Wolfie. Through the head. I'm sorry, puppy. From your prone position, you're like just jabbing wildly. Oh, I'm prone. prone Oh can I get up then

Oh well Even after you get up You're like jabbing wildly As you get up I'll say And that's your turn You're like standing But you were like just Just whipping your rapier around

You whip your rapier back It's too long to fit into that song It really is Okay Ainsley Yes You can't see what's happening The rock blocks the view Oh can I hear it It's too long to fit into that song. It really is. Okay, Ainsley. Yes. You can't see what's happening. The rock blocks the view.

Oh, can I hear it? You probably heard like a wolf, then like a yipping sound, and Leo like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. We should probably. Well, you know what? He'll call for us. He'll call for us. Or maybe he'll feel like he doesn't need to.

No, he'll call for us. He'll be fine. He'll call for us. I think I got faith in little Leo. Well, I mean, the yipping sound seems like he doesn't need to. No, he'll call for us. He'll be fine. He'll call for us. I think I got faith in Little Leo. Well, I mean, the yipping sound seems like he's winning. Yeah. And that's a bit of a gross. So Ainsley does nothing is what I'm hearing? That's exactly what you're hearing.

And Cassius does nothing? Okay, it's the wolf's turn. I'm helping you out. I'm teaching you lessons. It goes in again for you. Ooh, catch you this time Oh no You get bit

I get bit I wonder if you're gonna get a werewolf Oh shit We better get involved Grayson's gonna get really pissed Oh no, Grayson's gonna be so mad If we kill Leo Oh fuck

Like I know it's gonna be one less person to shake wedding cake with But not cool And then I don't know if that'll be enough for Grayson I know And then, that's be enough for Grayson. I know. And then. That's not a good word. Not and then.

Not and then, Adam. And then you are a werewolf. You are a werewolf now. Ah, damn it. Ah, yeah, it's a pity for me. So the wolf, like, bites you on the leg and, like, tries to, you tries to pull your legs out from under you But you're stomping on the ground like

No, no, no, no And the wolf can't do it Okay It's your turn I'm gonna cover myself in babu slime You cast that spell Does that mean if the wolf bites me he gets hurt then? Yes

Is that right? Alright, yes Okay As you're casting the spell No, it's unfair You take a step back So you cast the spell You get covered in the slime Ainsley, Cassius, are you still not doing anything?

He's got it Wolf's turn Wolf doesn't know bad about slime Wolf's going to attack again Dumbs Wolf You should tear open your shirt and just

tackle it he gets you again you take five points of damage eleven oh boy

so I'm on eleven points yep you can hear like a sizzling sound and the wolf like

cries out in pain We're probably attracting a little bit too much attention We're in the middle of a swamp Swamp people don't know it The wolf bit your leg And pulled it out from under you You're on your ass now The wolf immediately after that though

Lets go as it realises that holding onto you hurts it. Idiot. Now it is Leo's turn. So if I get up, can I get up and attack this turn? If you get up, either it gets a free attack against you and then you can attack, or you get up, it doesn't get a free attack, but that's your turn. You can attack from the prone position, though,

but you take penalties. I'm going to get up, let it take me another bite. Okay. You're going from the prone position though but you take penalties. I'm going to get up let it take me another bite. Okay. You're going to do it. Take it for the team. Get him baboo slimed. The wolf tries to bite you in a different place.

It's not learning. It's a lesson. Idiot. Three damage. You keep laughing. It's got more hit points than you still... Sam, I don't die to a wolf.

How undignified oh wow that changed that one actually wolf's not doing so well and then it's your turn right through its face okay if you hit it you probably will survive

this encounter but if you miss we'll find out what happens oh no we can fix you I'm sure and you missed oh no you like try to stab at the wolf but the wolf is a lot faster than you are I'm too cocky you missed. Oh, no! You, like, try to stab at the wolf,

but the wolf is a lot faster than you are. I'm too cocky. And it leaps out of the way. You, like, your rapier just skips off the rock. I'm going to yell out. Do you need us? It's your turn. Yeah, so Ainsley, it's your turn first.

Yeah, yeah. I'll be like, no, this is getting ridiculous. I'm going to get involved. Maybe a sneaky heel. Yeah, I'm going to. You're going to head towards the thing? Yeah. Okay, so you're like.

I guess. It's going to take you. You're like moving to help him, right? Yeah. Yeah, you're like moving through the swamp. Yeah. What did you think I meant? I don't know.

It just sounded super weird. I was like, I guess if that's what you want me to do. I guess if that's what I'm going to do. And so you pull ahead of Cassius pretty quickly because you're faster. You're faster, but you're moving through a swamp. Plus, I'm super heavy, so I'm going to be a while behind. It's going to take you a while to get to even the ladder. That's all right.

We'll heal you. We'll heal you up. We'll... Yeah. The wolf's turn. Just a sneaky... With a healing wand. Oh, no. He'll catch in one. Oh, no.

He'll catch you again. Oh, no. I can't help but imagine a dog with a soft toy, like a teddy bear, just being like... You take five damage. What am I on? Three? Three.

Oh, boy. And then the wolf takes... Don't worry. I know the wolf takes five damage. The wolf goes down. Oh, good job, Leo. Good job. Creepy laugh enough.

The wolf bit you and its jaw is melting away at this point. Can I skin that wolf for its pelt? You can sure try, but not in the time while Ainsley and Cassius are up there before that happens. The wolf's dead, though, yeah?

Yeah. Magic wand? Hey, can you want a magic wand? You are covered in wolf bites. Don't you have a magic wand? No. I'll start magic or jabbing him with the magic wand. How many uses have you got left?

I have like 40-something. Heal me to full. Six hit points. So what's to full? I'll work out how many it takes. I have 47. I have 46. I'm assuming Cassius is doing all of it. I like to imagine whenever I use it, I just jab

you in the side with it. I also totally imagine it looking like a star on the end of a stick. I don't know why. It's a blue stick with a yellow star and glitter. I think it looking like a star on the end of a stick. I don't know why. It's a blue stick with a yellow star and glitter. I think that's like a... It takes you four uses to get him back to full hit points. That's not a star.

Why did I draw? I did not draw a star. All right. I don't think someone's in here, but their pet wolf is now dead. So we'll be in trouble if they come back. Do you want to real quick sneaky search of the place just to see if there's any evidence of this or the last? I'm doing a quick, yeah, we'll do a sneaky search.

You find the most basic and meager of resources here. Like there's a bed and then like a little pile of, I guess, hay or something like that that you think the wolf sleeps on. And then just basic necessities otherwise. I'll take one room place. Alright, let's check the next place. So let's check, well, I'll take point.

Someone has... Not me. Someone has been here recently. Yeah, but it's probably just another hermit, you know. They're gonna come back to a dead wolf. Drop the wolf in the swamp, it'll think he fell off the rock. They're gonna be super salty. And again, there's no puncture wounds on the wolf because the swamp he'll think he fell off the rock they're gonna be super salty well then again

there's no like puncture wounds on the wolf because I missed it completely it's just acid he's just gonna come to the wolf and be like what happened

so I guess we got two options leave him to be confused about the death of his pet wolf or just drag it into the swamp and he'll find it down the track I think we'll do that alright we'll drag the wolf

into the swamp like just roll it off the thing or drag it away roll it off the thing or drag it away? Roll it off the thing, climb down, drag it away. Okay. Maybe bury it

and maybe keep like a sneaky lookout for the owner. Yeah. There's no place to bury it. It's all swamp here. We'll just push it under the swamp.

Find a heavy rock, put it on the wall. There's like, you probably couldn't find a rock here. Like I said, it's swamp. Anything like Let's just bury it. Let's on the wall. It's like, well, you probably couldn't find a rock here. Like I said, it's swamp. Anything like- Let's just bury it.

Let's just bury it. Let's just sink it. Sink it? I don't know how you would sink it. Buddies, don't they float? Fine. Fine. I'll produce flame and we'll give it a-

A Viking burial. You cast produce flame? Yes. Okay. You cast that and then there's an explosion. Oh wait, Swamp Gas. I forgot about Swamp Gas! I'm going to need everyone to make...

I roll the reflex saves, so... Damn it, Cassius! You've been healed up, though. Good job. That's true. For goodness sake. Half damage to Leo. Half damage?

Half damage to Ainsley. What does that mean? I'll tell you what damages you take. 43. Full damage to Ainsley. I'll tell you what damages you take. 43. Full damage to Cassius. I love it when the rules work out the way I want them to. I like to think you're just imagining Leo just, like, pushing it under. It just bobs back to the surface.

I've got this. Okay. So, Cassius, you took 10 damage. Everyone else took 5. Oh, my. That's a lot. I mean, it's whatever. Yeah, there's, like, a massive ear-splitting explosion.

My bad. Sorry, everybody. Do you want to head back to town? Has the wolf been blown up? The wolf is charred remains. So are you guys, though. Good. Let's just go to the next one.

We'll circle back here. You hear like birds taking off in the distance because of the noise? You couldn't find those animals, could you? Well, they're out in the swamp. There's not going to be animals near the town. Don't know why I said it like that. There's not going to be animals in the town, you doofuses. I'm salty at you, but let's chuff on on.

Chuff on on and on. Chuff on on and on to the next house. There's only four, yeah? Yeah, there's four.uff on on. To the third. We'll chuff on on to the next house. There's only four, yeah? Yeah, there's four. Let's go to the third. We'll put a question mark on the second one. With dead maybe.

Underline, underline. Could be Catherad. Who's first? I'll take point. You're taking point? Cool. Well, Leo nearly died. You saw me took out the monster manual. I'll take point You're taking point? Cool Well Leo nearly died

He saw me took out the monster manual and now it comes out Oh actually Maybe Leo should take point Should we sneak a hill up after this explosion? I don't recall anyone saying that I don't recall anyone saying that

Oh no Guess what I don't recall anyone saying that. I didn't say you did. I don't recall anyone saying that. Oh, no. Guess what, Jackson? What? Adam? Adam, please. Swamp witch? Is that a swamp cook?

Is that a hemhoch? Okay. That is my favorite one. Have we seen this before? The flying sword Oh my god is it a flying sword? Close You're getting warmer A dragon

You can't miss it You pass through a particularly dense part of the swamp and you can tell that the swamp's gonna get deep in a couple strides but you can also see a massive tree log

swimming towards you guys well lizards well lizards crocodiles I'm not a half-wit you know what a crocodile is this is a lot bigger than a crocodile This is like the size of a dragon

Oh god Yeah It's like the size of a dragon You can only see just like the top part You know the ridges as it swims through the water Everyone back It doesn't count as an animal does it It is an animal

As it like leaps out of the water A crocodile Everyone back, everyone back, everyone back. It doesn't count as an animal, does it? It is an animal. As it leaps out of the water, a crocodile the size of a dragon drives itself into the shallows. Everyone back, everyone back, everyone back. Oh, boy. Such a bad idea. It would have happened no matter who was in front. Don't blame me.

Flame sword? Hang on, I actually want to... I got a better spell lined up. Okay. I keep forgetting to do that druid thing where I can store spells to use later. What's that? Oh, wait, maybe that's a sorcerer thing.

Is that a druid thing, Adam? What's this? Where you can store spells to use later? How does items do that? Oh. Oh, I see. Not a good thing at all. Not even an anything thing.

Anything thing. Okay. So it is... It's 15 feet long. So it's about three times the length of a man. That's a big... So if you've ever seen a nature doco where they're like,

this crocodile, he could swallow me in one go. Oh, my God, he could. He just needs to be like, oh. Will someone attack me? He could eat all of us whole. I don't think it's just half of me. I would put up a bit of a fight.

I feel like I would put up a fight. I feel like I wouldn't just go. Yeah. Oh, God. It's all right. Whatever. We took down a dragon, guys We did

You were blind and I was deaf I totally got this I'm gonna shoot it Rapid shot? Yes Raptor shot? Can you not? Go ahead if you want, Jackson

Raptor shot? That's not a raptor noise. Cuckoo, cuckoo. What did a raptor make? Your first arrow impacts solidly in the center of its head. Your second arrow literally just skips off this thing's armor. Still, you smacked it in that brain. Headshot.

Yeah. Headshot. If I can keep it on the table, one point of damage. That's not good. God damn it, Ali. I mean, it's not bad. Hey, look, you still hit it. Yeah, in the head. So that's good. And then it is Cassiostom. Paralyzed animal. Oh, that's a good

one. Uh, I need the book, because I think you need to touch it to do that. I'm gay. I hope I don't. I imagine. That would be nice. I like to think that I'll just have to just really want it to paralyze. Yeah, look at it.

Give it a stern look. Paralyzed. Surely even if I run up to it. That's what it's called? Yeah, I've got it written down here. Is it not maybe hauled animal? Does that do the same thing? I don't know. I don't know what the

there's no paralyzed animal spell. I have paralyzed animal written down here, Adam. Under flame blade. Flame blade paralyzed animal. So unless I just made up a spell I've got this paralyzed animal.

Can you do that? Maybe. Hold animal is the name of the spell. Why don't I paralyze animal? You're an idiot. It sounds like a really good spell, though. Do I have to touch it? Do I have to touch the gator? Looking for it.

God, shut up. What does hold animal do? In a minute, yes, you will. Oh, my God. Just let us know. Suspense is killing me. I think I just got to... Probably like this clearly crocodile is probably going to kill me.

It's going to et you alive it's going to et me so good it's not like the last dragon where you could just like oop there's a giant stomach that's exposed

no you don't need to touch it oh that's the best okay I'm going to paralyse it gang you can just stab stab stab stab stab nah I figured I'd just like

just short bow it from a distance probably not a bad idea because if it's holed does that mean it's a stay still but it can still snap I think so oh boy Like, just short bow it from a distance? Probably not a bad idea. Because if it's holed, does that mean it's a stay still, but it can still snap? I think so.

Oh, boy. It passes. It keeps moving. God damn it. Run! Run! It, like, freezes for a moment, and you're like... Imagine if, with your mental power, you had to physically hold the beam. It's like you sweat dots your face,

but then you're like, can't do it. And then it keeps moving. And it is Leo's turn. You got this, Leo. You can do what we couldn't. I wish I could, like, if launch item could, like, launch an actual, like,

alligator, that would be the best. But it's not. God, Kriff's spells are shit and useless. It's only taken you to, you know, two seasons in to figure it out. I'm a short bow. That's what he asked for. I know. Cast blockade.

Cast blockade. Grease the floor, swamp. Grease the swamp floor. Also use short bow though Use your short bow? Yeah As long as Cassius is in front of me I'm happy

You hit it And you deal A whopping one point of damage Hey I dealt the same amount of damage As Angelus did Having done a whopping total of two points of damage Sick To the giant crocodile

Wouldn't have even killed the wolf It reaches Cassius. Hopefully my armor, it'll just be like... Yeah. Because I don't want to go rapier it and attack it a little bit and then it go to eat me. Yeah, because it will just... I want you to take the brunt and then I'll come and stab it.

I'll take the brunt. Oh, shit, this thing's powerful. Adam, you son of a bitch. Oh, no, Adam, no. I don't want to get chomped alive. I'm so sorry. No, you're not. No, Adam, no.

Chris said. Oh, God. Cassius is dead. Who dies? Who gets at? Who survives? Next time on D&D is for Nerds. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar,

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