D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott II #23 Grainsley

Episode Date: July 30, 2016

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 2In which our heroes have their big day. We try to bribe the priest, go to a wedding and go our separate ways. Cassius wants to know who Daniel is, Princess Ansley gets butterflies and Leo bears this woman forth. So join us as we find out that the cleric is magic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sam Spence Radio, everybody's got a dad except clones. one and two of D&D is for nerds from these bugalugs, but also some other neat shows like the award-winning Once and Future Nerd, A Fistful of Zombies, or The Will of the Woods. All audiobooks come with a free digital download, so what are you waiting for? Just head to audiobooksontape.com and check out all the amazing content they have to offer. Also, if you're wanting some more hot D&D-esque role-playing action, you can always check out some of our stuff over at sandspantsradio.podkeep.com. We've got all the fifth-ed adventures available, as well as Dinosaur Park and even the four-part predecessor to this show, Roll for Initiative, which was just full of stolen World of Warcraft sound effects

and basically no rules for how the world works. I think we killed a lot of gnomes from memory. Anyway, check it out and now enjoy the show. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table playing D&D, but that's exactly what we're doing here today. Welcome to episode 48 of D&D is for Nerds. My name's Jackson Bailey. I'll be playing the part of Cassius Christie. Next to me we have Ali Kathleen playing the part of Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. What?

And Joel Zammett playing the part of Leo Shadow. Hey, beautiful. And of course, my favorite man in the entire world and also our DM, Adam Clothesmonster. I don't trust you when you do these things. I don't trust you. Shh, hush, my lovely. Previously on D&D

is for Nerds. I'll go over and chat to Ainsley occasionally, you know, like just kind of gossip about the family. How are you finding it? Grayson's family consists of like 20 people, cousins and like extended family included. We can get raucously drunk now.

Yes. Let's go get ales, please. Yeah, I'll ask for two ales from the bar. We'll just drink. Yeah, around midnight, the family starts getting up, saying their goodbyes. Like, anyone who has a kid picks up the now-sleeping children.

Aww. I smell of booze and D&D weed. That's a good, like, hangover cure, shoving your head in a horse trunk. Baths, puppy. Flowers for my beard. Let's get your hair done. Yes.

We really only need this more day of preparation. We could go tomorrow if we wanted to. Yeah, that sounds fun. Still need a cleric. So we rejoin the party, still making their preparations, while on the down low, Leo and Cassius try to buy a puppy. So you two have your... And then then you're gonna go buy the puppy Yeah

Set you back five gold Alrighty Five gold How much do you have at the moment I got ninety four gold You put in four I'll put in one Hey that makes it easy for me That's ninety gold I got left

How good We get like the muddiest looking Not a gross looking dog Like we still want a cute one None of that No next one Like still cute Coming out of somewhere

But we want like a cute one But we're like clearly You know maybe like a rescue Like a rescue one You know so it's like a little bit older The conditions these dogs are kept in You're rescuing any of them. We'll get a cute one then.

Maybe you get two. Alright. What do you want two puppies for? There's two of you. I'm on board. I'll pay for that one. You get two puppies. Chucking in my inventory.

In the glory. Oh, I gotta talk to somebody about the firework Setting up the firework Yeah It's tomorrow I think the wedding's gonna be tomorrow I'll sort that out down the track Ainsley you and Grayson Go to the nearest church

It's a church dedicated to Penia Not Gnomes himself but they're kind of interchangeable These two These two specifically but they're kind of interchangeable, these two. It's all the same. These two specifically, because they're married. A lot of people who worship one will always worship the other in conjunction. Plus it's kind of marriage. It's fine.

Yeah, it's fine. It's good. It's fitting. The entire temple has this massive sun theme to it. Like everything is yellow. Okay. That's cool. And there's sunflowers just everywhere.

You're not sure if there's a wedding going on here later or if it's just sun god, sunflowers. Yeah. Either way, though, the place is set up to be very simple but elegant. Okay. Good. Good feeling, guys. You speak to the cleric there.

Yep. Grayson explains basically the situation. We need someone for such and such location. We're thinking about doingic there. Yep. Grayson, like, explains basically the situation. Like, we need someone for such and such location. We're thinking about doing it tomorrow. Yeah. The cleric there is like, I'm kind of busy. Like, I've got, he explains. He's got a meeting.

He's got some important stuff he has to do that time. Yeah, I just sort of subtly hinted Maybe Maybe if you could The gold gold coin Stop it If you guys could maybe move some meetings around Though golden

The cleric says Penir is not swayed by mere mortal currency Do you want magic currency? Mere mortal currency Yeah you want magic currency? Yeah, you want magic? I got a wand. No, I'm not going to do it for a donation. Can you at least say, why, first of all?

Why not? Just ask what you want. My duties, I must hold my duties above the mere whims. Can you either help us out or send us to someone who can? Because we just want to get married. There's a temple to gnomes not too far away. Oh, good.

That's the right religion. You can check there. Yeah, that's the right religion. Grayson shakes his head. Nah, I've already checked there. There's no one immediately available. See what you can do to them. Is there anything?

Anything that we can do to sway you? A quest. Oh, my god. Kill this blighter. Well, if you can heal the sick. Ah! That is something I can do! I beg your pardon? I can heal the sick. Bring your

sick to me. No more than 33 of them. 34 and I will not heal. Not a one Yeah no absolutely Side quest I'm on it Let's do it You'll be helping me with my duties today

Yes of course If you can help us tomorrow We just want to Help me help you help us You for the day Help him Him out in his duties It's a lot of healing work basically help you help us you for the day help him him out in his duties it's a lot of healing work basically

there's been some sort of accident at a mine north of town and a lot of people are coming in badly injured for that I'm gonna say lose 13 uses from your wand. That's all right.

Could be worse. But between the two of you, you get what would take him a week. You get it done in a day. Yeah. That's the best. I'll jump back to you in a moment, but I'm just going to finish Aang's way on Grayson's day.

Grayson also helps out. He knows basic bandaging. Anyone who's very light wounds that you guys don't want to do, he deals with that. Cool. At the end of the day, the cleric is actually quite impressed with you. And he's like, at first I was a little iffy about the whole wand situation, but I'm glad for your help.

Yeah, it's very efficient. Help comes from the least likely of sources, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, is that a backhanded compliment? It don't know. It's a bit rude. Yeah, I mean, it's a bit... Is that a backhanded... It doesn't matter. It's fine. You're helping us.

Let's... See you tomorrow. Love you. Yeah, I'll be there tomorrow for you. Awesome. Awesome. Okay. What are you having?

Like a dawn service? That's for funerals. It'll be mid... That's a memorial service. Midday. It'll be a midday. Yeah, because that's when the sun rises. And then sneaky thirds. So you two get the

Cassius and Leo. You get the two dogs. What's the rest of your day? Well, I want to go I've got a couple things I need to attend to. I want to go pick some nice flowers for my beard. Ceremonial. I'll probably do that actually on the day. I'll wake up early, get that done. And I want to go to chat to somebody about where to put my rocket.

Who are you going to chat to? Who's organizing the wedding? Monica, probably? Monica, Rusty, you can talk to either one of them. I'll go to Monica. Go to Rusty. Monica is a little bit like, where is my son and my future daughter-in-law?

I'm sure it's fine. They're very self-sufficient. So we were in. Actually, you know what? Rusty wouldn't even be there. He's out looking for them. Oh, shit. We're in trouble.

You sneakies. I know. So I was in the little town of Jaron's. Jaron's Outpost. Jaron's Outpost. And I just happened to pick up, take it off my backpack, this firework.

I thought it'd be a real nice way to... A what? It's a... I tried to explain a firework to her. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. None of that. Why not?

What's the problem with it? Explosions? No, thank you. No, no. It's less explosions and more beautiful lights in the sky. Looks like you're going to have to do the sneaky sneak. I just know

Ainsley would love it so... Will she, though? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'd love that shit. I'll try one more time. She stands firm. No. I absolutely refuse. Look, it's your wedding. I mean, it's time. She stands firm. No, I absolutely refuse. Look, it's your wedding. I mean, it's not.

It's theirs. But whatever. I understand. So long. I go back to Leo. I'm like, look, we'll give it to them as part of, with the puppies. Fireworks. You're maybe like outside.

You guys see like Rusty come back. He looks a little tired from walking around town all day We'll watch him go by I'll give him a wink Not interested Are you naming the puppies? We don't get to name them Leo Don't be daft

You could give us suggestions though Well I mean what would you name them? I would call them Rusty Junior Mutt 1 and Mutt 2 I'll call this one Pink Bally look at his belly it's very pink

I'll call this one Spot on his forehead I'll call this one Snuggleworth okay you two are chatting we'll maybe get Leo a haircut

or something oh okay because it's shaggy. It's getting long. It's kind of dready as well. I don't know, like too copper. Yeah, whatever. Ainsley and Grayson, you get back at about this time.

Yeah, chuff on home. Say sorry to Monica. Yeah, you have to apologize to Rusty and Monica. Yeah. Monica asks, where did you go? What happened? We'll just explain what we did. We'll find a cleric. Yeah, you do that,

but Grayson's like, we must have just missed you on the way out. Yeah, super subtle. We didn't jump off a roof right away. Monica does not believe him. Monica is not a fan. Remember that thing, Grayson, you used to do as a child when you were lying to me? You're doing it.

Talking. You are like, the mother-in-law is not taking a shot at you, darling. That's fine, she lives far away. She thinks Grayson, well, and it is Grayson who was responsible. She's like,

she completely ignores any wrongdoing you could have had, Grayson, well and it is Grayson who was responsible She completely ignores any wrongdoing you could have had Ainsley and she's like Grayson He's a bad influence on you I know and I give him a bit of it My son is a bad influence on my daughter I love it! Yeah, give him a bit of a wink Okay

You guys have your hair cut and then you come back Yeah Okay, what are you doing with the dogs? I was going to say, can I fit them in my breastplate? No, calm animal No I want to give them to them after the wedding

Do you want to give them to them after the wedding? That's tradition Where are we going to hide them though? I'll sneak them up to their bedroom There's like 10 other people in your room. There's like a lot of people in that room. Ask the barkeep for help. Oh, I don't know.

I'm not there. Look, sneak them up to the room. Just like, are they calm? How are the puppies? How are these puppies doing? They're like bark at new things. They shit themselves a lot. I'm just going to go to the park and play with them.

Okay. Were you taking them? To the park and playing with them. I don't know if that's something that Leah would do or I would do. You'd lose them. I'm just kidding. But how good. You break my heart, Adam, on so many occasions.

I'm going to spend my day making sure that the puppies are fine and that Ainsley and Grayson have no idea. Yeah. You're spending the day. I'm just going to fast forward that. You guys are irresponsible in a lot of regards, but you can look after puppies. Right? You guys can look after puppies.

I've got no animal handling. Look, I'll come with you and hang out with you, and if they get rambunctious I'll be like, come animal. And they'll be like, between the two of you, you can handle two puppies. So everything's organized for tomorrow. There's just one thing left to do,

and that's for Adam to write what he should have written before this game, like some sort of ceremony. You spend the night again. There was no party this night, so it's a little bit more of a, not a somber affair, but it's more quiet, subdued. Maybe you spend the rest of the night Ainsley with Grayson by like the fire in the tavern room until, you know, it's a bit late.

And then Grayson's like, I think it's time for bed. Oh, okay. And once again, Monica, like he's been waiting for you guys to like finish up. And she's like, I'll walk you to your room. Oh, that's really nice. You're pretty weird, but nice. Yeah. You're still pretty much under the impression

that Monica's like, I've stopped them from doing it so far. What a champ. Do you have sleep animal? Charm animal. So I'm assuming I can calm, charm, and disarm these dogs.

I'm assuming we'll go up to the common room We'll put them in our backpacks Grainsley That's where we are Ainsley and Grayson are pretty preoccupied Other than a couple family members Especially the kids who probably love you by now Who come up to you and they're like

Is that a puppy? And we're like shh it's for the bride and the groom And they're pretty used to the conspiratorial stuff With you right now. So they're like, oh my God, secret puppies. Like really quiet. They're like, can we have a pet? I'm like, no, you can't.

You spit the belly. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. If you've got it hidden in your backpack or something like that, they just reach in and like pat the puppy. Oh, they'd be so cute in a backpack. Looking up like, what's going on? I'm in a backpack.

Your backpack's full of shit. Full of dog poop. poop hey better than acid the night passes uneventfully uh the next morning uh grayson is the first one up and there's a knock on the door grayson answers it rusty's there and he says well we gotta you know i gotta get ready and you gotta get ready separately yeah okay explain sorry he points to you angela he've got to get ready separately. Yeah, okay. Explain. Sorry, he points to you, Ainsley, and says you've got to get ready separately. Yeah. In a couple of moments, Monica's going to be up and she'll help you out. Okay, thank you. I'm getting all fluttery.

I'm getting butterflies. I don't get butterflies in my stomach for anything in real life. Monica comes up and she's got draped over her arm like some sort of silk, like some sort of silk like some sort of silk what do you call it? Like a tablecloth almost or something like that. And she puts it over the bed and then she helps you get into your dress. And when

you're done getting into the dress she takes the silk thing and it turns out to be like a veil and she throws it over you for getting to the place she says. For getting to the the place she says for getting to the park because you're not there right now cassius needs to do my hair oh yeah oh well you can i'll jump up and i'll do a hair in it yeah cassius comes in as well and while monica is putting the dress on cassius does your hair i would like to put in a request for like a really

nice side braid or something yeah and i'll leave some like flowers into that maybe some sunflower petals monica like finishes up with the dress, and when you came in and were like, I'm going to do the hair, Monica's like, but Monica's doing the dress, and she focuses on that. When she's finished, you finished with the hair as well, Cassius. She looks up, and she's got a little bit of surprise on her face. She's like, oh, that's pretty good. You look beautiful like what did you want to weave into the like sunflower petals maybe

because they're quite large i could probably weave them into the um they have like smaller sunflowers here like full-size ones but they also have smaller ones okay if i could weave like sunflowers in there like maybe some nice summer flowers like not only sunflowers you know what you do like a like a crisscrossing like her Certainly some of them. You do like a crisscrossing. Like her hair is one big plate. And you do like crisscrossing pattern. It makes sense in my head. I'm trying to explain it.

Imagine two plates. Do you mean plaits? Plaits. Sorry. I'm saying plates. I don't know. Hair. Princess Leia style.

No, not buns. No, no, no, no. Not buns. Not buns. Like two At your back Coming to meet together And they like Cup and hold

The rest of their hair there Do you sort of understand What I'm saying Yeah yeah yeah I think maybe the viewers Might be a little confused Because I'm doing hand gestures Don't worry man

They can imagine Whatever they want to And then there's like A pattern A mosaic Of smaller sunflowers And then right at the bottom Where the like

The hair is being cupped, there's this massive one sitting there. You look lovely darling. I'll see you at the ceremony. Thank you, Cassius. Your beard looks clean. I just want to really compliment the fact that you scrub off alright.

Who's Daniel? I have no idea. It won't be anyone. And then Monica throws the veil over you and she takes your arm and says I'll walk you out

just a quick question is it kind of like she's put a sheet over me so I look like a ghost no no no like a Halloween it's like a veil from like

you know in the movies or something like that you can see through it yeah alright alright when you get outside the room,

there's the uncle with the big red nose, and he takes your other arm, and they're leading you together. Aw, because I don't have anyone to walk me down the aisle because my dad's a dick. I'm going to go give the bartender the puppies and be like, can you look after these until after the ceremony?

I'll pay him. Bartender's like, like nah it's okay he has a soft spot it's puppies not okay for puppies not okay for money money you don't worry

you're a champ they're not gonna shit everywhere are they nah they're in my backpack I'm gonna roll for that one they're in my backpack they've been charmed

they're beautiful they're gorgeous it's not gonna stop them from shitting but okay I used control don't shit They've been charmed. They're beautiful. They're gorgeous. It's not going to stop them from shitting, but okay. I used control animal. Don't shit.

If they need to poop, don't worry. They'll scratch the outside. Don't shit. Oh, you're awful. I wouldn't. Are they toilet trained at least? No. Are they toilet trained? You've charmed them. Leo, you do that, and then Rusty and Grayson like come down the stairs

and you're like you know and then Rusty and Grayson are like breakfast egg have you not eaten already second breakfast oh yeah yeah yeah and then so you two are actually

sorry not you two Leo, Rusty, Grayson and like a bunch of the male family members. You're the first people to get there. And you actually like help setting up this place. So while they're, while Ainsley and the girls are setting up, you guys are actually setting up the venue. It doesn't take much. It's just like a lot of flower arranging. setting up a setting up you guys are actually setting up the venue it doesn't take much it's just like a lot of flower arranging and then setting up um i don't know what it's called

but do you know at weddings they have like that crisscrossing like wooden thing like an arch yeah like an arch a wooden arch that has like crisscrossing sort of yeah and they like thread flowers through it or something like the thing in meet Meet the Fockers that he burns? Oh. Yes, it is that. I have not seen that movie. Thank you. I haven't seen it, but it's fun. This is like a terrible movie.

But just imagine, if you will, an arch made of wood. Done. White wood, white painted wood. Got it. And the arch crisscrosses. There's like all these little jutting out bits of wood. Is that what it's called? wood. Got it. And the arch crisscrosses. There's like all these little jutting out bits of wood. And through the jutting out bits of wood,

you thread vines with flowers on them. That's lovely. And then you set that up. I only get to like, you know, light up. After you've set that up, it's about when the cleric arrives. The cleric looks around and says, hmm, midday, but all of these flowers still haven't opened. Gives a little wave of his hand.

Every flower opens. Oh, he's magic. Yes. Did you not get that? Oh, that's the difference between a cleric and an acolyte, Ainsley. Oh, all right. One is magic. Go on.

Then everyone moves off to like, they've made like a little tent where everyone's getting changed, like a modesty tent. Oh, cute. And everyone's getting changed in there. Yeah, like, yeah, Maki has like cover, right? Yeah. Sides, right?

Yeah. While that's happening, Cassius, you're probably the first one to get out because the uncle and Monica are leading her along. Are you just going to go straight there yourself? You can go with them if you want. I'll probably go with them. You can hold the veil.

Yeah, I'll hold the veil. I will. Yeah, I'll hold the veil. Okay. So that doesn't get all dirty and gross. No. When you get to the entrance to the park, there's a line on either side of sunflowers

that basically lead you where you need to go. When you get there, there's no seats. Everyone's standing, including the priest. Grayson is standing there as well. He's wearing... It's sort of basic clothing, but it's got this golden broidering through it.

Oh, how beautiful. I can't... I'm trying to hold my laughter because I can see the tears welling up. I know, I know. I'm getting so into it. Ainsley, you get to the beginning of basically a makeshift aisle, almost. The aisle is essentially made of where the people are standing and where they're not standing. Mm-hmm. Uh, when you

get to that, uh, Monica and the uncle let you go and gesture for you to walk down. And you walk down yourself. They disperse into the crowd. Assumedly, Cassius and Leo, you're also dispersing into the crowd. But you will have to take front sort of positions. I would imagine. That's what I want.

You walk up and there's a little platform where the arch is and where Grayson is and where the cleric is. And it's a very sort of stock standard setup, so you know where everyone's meant I want. You walk up and there's like a little platform where the arch is and where Grayson is and where the cleric is. And it's a very sort of stock standard setup. So you know where everyone's meant to stand. You stand next to Grayson. Grayson takes his hands and he takes your hands in his. Yep. Oh my goodness.

The cleric without much ceremony clears his throat and starts speaking. Without a sun, there is no moon. Without a summer, there is no winter. Without love, there is no moon. Without a summer, there is no winter. Without love, there is no life. Two things come together to become one. One is perfect. One is love.

The light of Pena reaches many places. The love of gnomes reaches the rest. Fuck yes, gnomes. Oh, sorry. I can't read my own handwriting. You'll have to cut this part out. Two things come together to become strong. We are here in the presence of Penny's loving glow to see these two people join in love, in life, into a complete whole.

Who bears this woman forward? That's you, Leo, I think. I've got this. Leo, you step forward. Yeah. And who grants this man here? Monica steps forward. I do.

And do you both consent to this union? We do. Then let anyone who opposes this loving union speak their piece now. Quiet. Oh, good. Just look around, hold them a knife. Then,

without any further ceremony, I pronounce you one. And make it. I'm so excited! Yay! Yay! Oh, I was holding Jackson's hand the whole way through that. Grayson leans in. Yes? make it. I'm still excited! Yay! Yay! Oh, I was holding Jackson's hand the whole way through that. Grayson leans in.

Yes? And kisses you tenderly. Yay! As he does that, you don't see it, but the cleric reaches up with both of his arms, and all of the sunflowers flare really brightly, and like a shower of sparks comes from each one. It's like a little flower firework. It's not as impressive as the firework you wanted

to set up. It's not my day, I guess. That's beautiful. Do they walk down the aisle together? Can we clap them as they go by? No, the cleric, like, after you guys have finished, like, your tender moment kissing, the cleric raises his hands again and says, everyone who wants to congratulate them may come forward now.

Like, the entire family, like, just rushes forward. That's nice. We'll wait our turn. It's a big old hug fest. It's nice. It really is nice. Monica, like, hugs you both. She hugs you, you Ainsley and kisses you on the cheek and says I know you

couldn't wait but now you finally can Rusty shakes Grayson's hand, Rusty shakes your hand and gives you a sly wink like he knows what's happening he knows how things have been going down, he knows the way the world works rosti's an old soul i love it the the uncle with the big red nose whose name you

will never learn hugs both of you and as he hugs you ainsley you feel like his cheeks are like wet with his eyes like his eyes match his nose right now. Big puffy and red. And all of the cousins like come up, like the older cousins, like one at a time. And some of like the teenager ones are like, yeah, okay. They're here because. They're teens. I don't care.

But like the kids swamp you as one. Comes in to like real life teenagers, like apathetic. It's not like a yeah, whatever. It's like... No, I don't care. Cowabunga, dude. Get on that skateboard. Ride my wooden skateboard out of here. I'm too cool for this.

It's not like a careless thing. It's like, you know, like they're interested in ceremony, but, you know, if they show like they care, they can't, you know? Yeah, yeah. Hey, I get it. It's really funny. Yeah, for sure. And then Cassius and Leo, you join as well.

When do we give them presents, by the way? Basically at the after party. We'll give you a big ol' hug. Grayson, for the first time ever, hugs both of you. I squeeze him so tight. I grab both. He has to bend down.

I don't know. I grab both Ainsley and Grayson. He's on his knees. He gets on his knees. Oh, they do? I grab both their hands. I'm like, look, Grayson, we may have stolen Ainsley from her kingdom,

but you stole her heart. May you live a prosperous and happy life. So happy for both of you. I know Kruph would like this. And then we just have a little moment you and me. I'd be like, who? Did we have another friend? Yes, he would. Yeah.

Everyone lingers here a little bit just to bask in the flowers and stuff like that. Yeah, the beauty of the place. The cleric, after everyone else is done, comes and shakes both of your hands. We say thank you and all that shit. He insists that he doesn't need it. He actually thanks you. He's like, you were a big help yesterday. Thank you very much for that. No problem.

If you... I don't know. If I can help you with anything else, let me know. But I'm gonna be on my way out after I give you the gift. He hands you both a gold coin. It's tradition. That's a beautiful ceremony. I like that I said that as Jackson.

That was just super nice. Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it to the after party. The cleric says I'm not much of a drinker. He says with a bit of a laugh. He's fine. See you later. He stays for a little bit longer like he no he's like he goes from the sunflower to sunflower and he um he like it he feels like uh like the sparks he made he gets them to go again but like on the second one you feel like something was used up in the sparks so he does it again for each flower but it's like less a bit of his life force no no no it's like um if you want to

inspect the sunflowers afterwards you can see we won't not at all magic no one's ever gonna find out what happened nope just like their uncle's name. You'll never know. Two of the greatest mysteries of the game. It was clearly magic, guys. And the uncle's name was also magic. Magic make magics. Okay, the cleric shuffles off at that point. The kids are like, you know, they all give me a blank.

They've had so much magic in their lives the last couple of days. Dancing lights. Everyone disapprovingly stares at you. Yeah, I'm on board. You get back to the tavern and it's like the other night. It's like a raucous party. That uncle with the big red nose, like Ainsley by the arms and leads you out onto the dance floor like yeah

partying. He's had a few. I'm into it. His eyes are red, his cheeks are red his nose is red. He's a big red man. We'll go over to the bartender while we got a moment and grab those two puffs. Do you reckon we should give them in the morning or tonight

when they're still partying? Like, what should we do? Whatever's tradition. If it's tradition at the party... Well, you guys find out pretty quickly. Over the course of the party, every, like, family group comes to you, Ainsley, and they all give, like, either you or Grayson a gold coin.

Aww. Some of them give sunflowers, and you assume those to be the ones that couldn't afford a gold coin. Monarchy gives both of you a gold coin. Plus we should probably give them a gold coin too. I think we should be the only ones not doing that. We'll take a puppy each and a gold coin each. A puppy and a gold coin.

Oh, and I'll tuck a firework under my arm. You got a puppy in one and a firework. It's hard to tell, but it brings you more joy. Exactly. I was going to say, the coins don't have a whole... You couldn't put it around their collar or something. Can we tie the gold coin? It's a bit like last minute to do something like that, don't you think?

Yeah, I guess it is, but it would have been nice, Adam. Oh, well. Unfortunately, you didn't think of it before. Just a little bit of rope or something. A little bit of rope? You don't have a little bit. You have 50 feet. Wrap it around the dog.

Grayson, we got you a mommy. Why is it a rope mommy? We'll go over to Grayson and Ainsley sitting wherever they are and be like, no, they're not sitting. Grayson's like dancing. Wow. This is on the dance floor.

There you go. He is actually, he's all right. I was hoping that I was looking forward to saying he's a shit dancer. He's all right. He's in so much pain. We'll wait till he's got a moment spare. And then we'll approach him and be like

He doesn't really seem to know what to do with the puppy when you hand it over to him. He like holds the puppy He's happy for her but he's like Oh, okay A bit sudden Leo told me that a long time ago you had a dog

You say that? Yeah A long time ago, you had a dog. You say that? Yeah. Yeah. He was about to say something. You say that, and then it's like... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring up... He picks you up, and he starts dancing. He's holding you close to him as he dances.

Oh, that's great. At some point as well, he's like, I assume, Leo, he dances. Oh, that's great. At some point as well, I assume, Leo, you give your puppy to Ainsley. Yeah. I'm over the moon. At some point, Cassius is like, Grayson, let's go have Cassius. And like picks up Leo and he just hugs you really tight. Finally approval. Oh, we're very excited.

What do they look like? What do the puppies look like? As he like hugs you close, Leo, he whispers, not to you, but just to himself almost, Tiger. Tiger. No, the dog's name was Tiger. I don't know. I think it was Tiger.

It doesn't matter. You're welcome. What do they look like? It was Tiger. What color are they? Mutts, I guess they're grayish. One has a pink belly. One has a pink belly.

I imagine one is black and white and the other one a little bit like brown and white. Black and white and brown and white. Adam doesn't give a fuck but you do and that's important. No pink bellies. Plenty of pink eye.

Oh Adam. No pink belly, whatever. I don't care. You have your pink belly. And yeah, a gold coin. Oh yeah, and a gold coin each, because we know it's tradition. It's tradition. Eventually, at some point,

after a seriously... Like, Grayson's getting pretty plastered. Hey, it's your wedding night. Go nuts! Are you going to drink with him? Yeah, absolutely. I also want to not drink too much. What about you, Cass?

Do you drink a bit? I do want to. I'll have a bit, but I'm not getting raucous drunk. And Leo? I'll drink, but not raucously drunk. At some point, as well in the night, the uncle takes out his bag. Leo, you know exactly what's in this bag.

He opens it up, takes out the pipe, some smoking weed, and he starts passing it around. And as he's putting weed into the pipe, he's like, could have sworn I had more weed. Don't know what happened to it. Kids. Kids? I wish you knew to say that, because I had the perfect thing to do.

You don't know, so you can't say it. I'm not saying anything i'm just drinking and happy for but anyway he says i could have sworn i had more weed and his son like off to one side like it's really red in the face and tries to disappear and i'm sure you didn't okay anyway the uh everyone has a good time this role isn't for good times this roll is for drinking this roll is for bad times oh no you all have

you have the best time you have the best time, you have the worst time good we sing the songs that remind you of the good times D&D tub thumping dungeons and dragons and tub thumping Thumpin' tobs

Yeah, Grayson is completely wasted Goodness, I like it You're like pretty bad as well, but it's still to the point where You're leading him up the stairs

At the end of the night You know it I think both of you are too drunk To do anything tonight You're going to flop onto each other And be like Messy kiss Pretty much

Fall asleep inside each other It got super gross really quick It really did Messy kiss. Yeah, messy kiss. Pretty much. Yeah, fall asleep inside each other. Wow. It happens. It got super gross really quick. It really did. Yeah. That's what happens when drinking's involved, kids. Yeah.

Can I roll for the quality of the sex? Come on. It's tradition. It's honeymoon sex. No, no. I want to roll. Come on. It's a wedding night.

Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Ah, shit. All right. So is like 20 good and one shit? Yes. 20's a wedding night. Shit. All right. So is like 20 good and one shit? Yes. 20 is good and one shit. That's D&D.

It's negative five though because you're both plus. Yeah, but plus 20 because it's wedding night. No. Yeah, I want two dice. No. It's a 19. 14. It's still bloody good.

It's still bloody good. Like it was great, but imagine if you hadn't been drinking that's true imagine if you hadn't imagine if I got a crit hap guys if you got a crit hap I wouldn't have done anything 15

ok so next morning everyone once again wakes up with headaches I guess oh wait Leo you didn't drink

oh wait did you drink some? yeah not a lot we both drank a bit okay yeah next morning what do you guys want to do? I'm gonna see if we can

procure Ainsley I'll get to you like past midday when you guys wake up I kind of see is Cassie's awake?

yeah I kind of like take Cassie's aside. We'd say we'd chat over breakfast. The uncle is in the tavern area where the food is served. He's lying on a table snoring loudly. I like to think we're sitting across from each other. The bartender's like, I can't shift him.

He's too big. No, we know. It's fine. What is for breakfast? What do you want? What do I have generally? eggs, bacon, kale I'll eat eggs

oh breakfast alright so Cassius what's our next move? what's your next move? I mean I don't know I gotta be honest with you I'm kind of curious

as to who Daniel is thinking of maybe investigating that some that's fair enough I don't really know where that'll take me you're welcome to join me, Leo. I was thinking of going back to Jaren's...

Jaren's Outpost. Yeah, Jaren's Outpost and looking into the Black Hand because... Mercenary group. Yeah, the mercenary group being a bit of shit. So I was thinking of doing something up that neck of the woods. Well, I don't think that's really the same direction I'm going in. You know? Is this a goodbye?

Or is it a new beginning? Goodbye. Why does that sound like Gandalf? Or is it a new beginning? Yeah, it's a goodbye. Well, I mean, you know, I think, you know, it's sad. It's sad. But I've got no desire to head back there

and get involved in the politics of a dying town. Yeah, fair enough. I'm a little more curious as to why I have Daniel tattooed on the inside of my forearm. And to be perfectly honest, if I die never knowing the reason why, I'll be a happy halfling. But I'd like to thank you for our time together, and I'm sure we'll stay here a little longer, of course.

I don't want to just disappear on Ainsley straight away. Come on now. I might disappear into this black night. All right, you're not going to say goodbye? I'll say goodbye. Wish them a happy fortune. I don't think Ainsley's really going anywhere from here. No.

I think this is her pretty much done. Exactly. For adventuring. Not yet. Are you settling down here or are you settling down somewhere else? From memory. I'll have to talk to Grayson about that because I have no idea what we're doing. All right.

Grayson would have talked to you about his family's farm. Sorry? Grayson has talked to you about his family's farm. His brother doesn't actually work on the farm that his parents used to own. He has his own farm. Yeah. And Grayson basically said, well, we could go there. Or we could, well, if you don't want to.

We'll give it a go. I mean, if you don't want to be a farmer, I know you would like royalty. I was. I was. Thank you for acknowledging. But, you know, that left behind me. I love adventuring and I love

getting my hands dirty. So only one more adventure left. Oh my god. Thank you. But yeah, you know, I have no desire for that sort of stuff. I'm a simple kind of girl. Yeah, so I'll say to Cassius that I think what we'll do is Yeah, we'll stay here as long as we feel the need to

And then I might just Physically can! Try them of money! But we'll speak to Ainsley Because she kept the party funds And I know you had looting rights So we'll divvy that up Everyone had looting rights

So we'll divvy that up Do you want to head on over and you can say your goodbyes to Ainsley? I think we should do that. We'll try and find them. Wait till they come out midday. Okay. Maybe 1pm. Grayson wakes up and he gives you a little bit of a shake.

You awake. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm awake. Whatever. While they're doing that, I'm going to go find a horse. Downstairs? What?

Downstairs or do you want to stay in? We should probably go downstairs. I think your mother's having a bit of a fit by this stage. About what? Did they? Can I ask? Did Grayson's mother push the beds together? No.

You've been in two separate beds. Two single separate beds. Did she push the single beds? Oh, no. been in two separate beds, two single separate beds. You guys slept in the same... No, no one pushed the beds together. You just flopped into the same bed. Yeah, we're pretty drunk. You're pretty close together right now. There's not a little room in this bed. Can we get the party funds

divvied up before this day? Because I kind of just want to do something and just chuff off. You just want to disappear? Yeah, I want to do something. So can we split up the party funds prior to this day? If you like, yeah. Nope. All right.

No retconning. Hey, I don't... All right. All right then. Never mind then. Well, but I guess we've sort of probably spoken, obviously. Don't you still have money from the $100 that you gave me? Actually, you know what?

I will allow it because, come to think of it, what would have happened is you come in and then they're talking about, oh yeah, we rented out this tavern. You give the money to the tavern owner and then you're like, take, like,

it's not going to be that much. Like Grayson would have explained to you, like renting out this kind of, it's like we're renting out a tavern. It's not that nice a tavern. They're going gonna take maybe uh 30 maybe 40 gold and that's just like and then we can be to my folks yeah no you don't have to bank my mom you don't have to bankrupt yourself on this so the bartender has the party funds and he's been instructed to split it cool you guys cool like four ways between the four of us wouldn't that make sense because they've got four ways So we'll give him $40. So the bartender has the party funds, and he's been instructed to split it to you guys. Cool.

Like four ways between the four of us? Wouldn't that make sense? Because they've got looting rights. Four ways, yeah. So half to Leo and Cassius, and half to Ainsley and Grayson. $450 gold pieces for everyone. Slick. All right.

Oh, was that minus the... The 40? Minus the 40? Hang on, wait. Hold on a second. What? Yeah, it went to 50. Well, not...

Can you... Really? Because that means the math is harder. I don't know. Give me the number. I'll go with you, Colin. Well, it was 1,800 that we had left. 18 exact?

1,800, yeah. Exact, yeah? Yeah, after we gave him 40 gold. That was minus 10. No, it was 1840. Oh, okay. So now it's 1790. Nine silver pieces, two copper pieces.

I never count the copper or silver. We won't worry about that. The people in this farming town make their living on copper and silver. Not for me. Okay, so Grainsley gets 995, and so do you two, and then we'll split that in half. We didn't get a cool name. I mean, we're not an item.

Leosius. Leosius? We should have hooked you up. Damn it. Just for the name. Each of you get 497 gold pieces and five silver. Cool.

All right. So over dinner, sorry, over breakfast, looking to Cassius. So like, yeah, I'm probably going to chuff off now. I think my part in this is done. Can you just wait a second?

I grab a bit of paper and envelope. Can I get that? Yeah. Like parchment. Paper. Like paper, like parchment. Poor parchment. Paper. Like parchment. Poor parchment. No, no one would have that just on hand, especially at a bar.

I'm going to go find some parchment, you goddamned attitude. You could count the number of literate people in this town with the fingers on one hand. Oh, we've still got that map anyway, don't we? Yeah, we've got the map. Just write it on the reverse of that.

Yeah, I'm going to use that. All right? And I'm going to write, buy yourself a nice coat, put six copper in there. Oh, beautiful. Fold that up. Give this to Ainsley Cassius.

That's the name of your episode right there. Give this to Ainsley Cassius. Good luck in finding out who Daniel is. I'm out of here. All right, Leo. And I disappeared. Have a good one! The idea of you putting 490 gold pieces in an envelope amuses me.

I said six copper. No, six copper. Oh, six copper. Because that's how much the six copper. The jacket costs us a very... Oh, no, no, no. I got that. I thought you were putting the share of the money in the envelope.

No, he needs that. Six copper. Buy yourself a nice jacket. I'm chuffing off. I'm going to go procure a horse and yeah, I'm going to chuff on out of that town. Okay.

That's me done. So long, Leo! I'll wait in these to wake up. Heysel Lose. Lose. Lose? Yeah. You never pick your Lose.

And you were right to. So you're at the door to open up to get out and then Grayson grabs your hand from behind and he says maybe just a couple little bit longer he says 18

out of 100 kidding I am kidding yeah you bang 18 yes out of 100 no kidding good bang I am kidding yeah you bang good bang yeah it's a good bang

it's a good bang it's a good one sex yeah so you guys wake up at like 1am and then at like I don't know

3 or 4 they come back down to the tavern area good stuff I uh Ainsley yes Cassius come Come, take a

seat. Enjoy some eggs. Okay, I'll have some. Grayson finds his own table then, I guess. And then I would like to feed a little bit of my eggs to the family. The family are, like, coming, a lot of the family are, like, leaving now, so you get, like, during this entire conversation, it's punctuated with, like, a cousin coming up, and they're like,

oh, see you later. So, um, Leo's gone see you later what where did he go see you later he said he had a business to deal with thanks for coming stuff he wanted to take care of in yaren's keep but he he uh he left you this i'll see you on the phone i'll give you the envelope i open it up and i have a read i have a little bit of a moment and be like yeah thanks all right good good i'm sticking around, though. What are you going to do with yourself? Figure out who Daniel is. The sunflowers, actually.

Yeah, no, nothing to do with us. You guys keep going. I don't know who this is. I don't remember tattooing myself. It's a bit of a worry. No, she's... You don't want to get to know her. Oh, Cassie's not me.

Cassie is. Yeah. Sorry. So I'm probably going to take off, but I'm going to stick around. Cool. I'm going to get to know this family. Oh Cassie's not me Cassie is Yeah Sorry So I'm probably going to take off But I'm going to stick around Cool I'm going to get to know the family Cool

I don't know how Don't worry Uncle Will Longer they're going to stick around But we'll probably stick around for a few days And decide I don't know I think Gracie wants to settle down Well I want to know where you're going to live

So I can stop in and visit you Yeah true Alright I've got stuff to take care of But you know I want to hang out. And share puppy names because, you know, we're going to name these things.

Grayson turns the map back over and marks where the farm is on the map. You'll probably find us here. Well, you know, spend a couple of days. Well, not immediately. You'll probably find us here. Please go. This is where my family's farm is, and if Ainsley's happy with it, we'll settle down there. And maybe you should name one of those puppies Leo.

I'm not going to name it Leo, because Leo fucked up. Grayson Jr. and Ainsley Jr. Grayson says, like jokingly, but then he's like, wait a minute. Is that the best name I could think of? We'll figure it out. So I guess we just keep saying goodbye to people who are rudely interrupting our conversation. See you later, nice to think of. We'll figure it out. So I guess we just keep saying goodbye to people who are rudely interrupting our conversation. See you later.

Nice to meet you. Well, Grayson is. You guys are rudely ignoring. Yeah, that's true. All right. Grayson stands up from the table. Sorry, did you say you were leaving today, Cassius? No, no.

I'll stick around for a bit until you guys head off, and then I'll probably head off as well. Well, maybe a couple days pass. You still stay here for a little bit longer, and then maybe on that second day, Grayson's like, well, I've worked out a horse and cart. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready.

They're going to name these dogs, though. You get to name one. Whatever you pick will be fine, he says. Call it Tigger. No, that'll hurt him. He might love it. Tigger new. Jiggle-ump.

Probably not Mr. Fist. I don't know. We'll name it something. Okay. We might do a poll. See what... You know, we've got a long ride ahead of us. I'm sure we can figure something out on the ride.

Grayson gives you like a little bit of a side hug and then he hops onto the, you guys are doing this outside at the wagon. He hops onto the wagon. Maybe Monica's in the back. Oh my God. Monica, oh my God, you're lovely. It's fine.

We'll get our own little place where Monica does not live. And then each of us off into the sunset. Will Leo ever get to Jaren's outpost? Will Cassius ever find out who Daniel is? And will Ainsley ever return? No, that's done. Don't be silly. But those other questions and more, find out next season on D&D content,

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