D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott II #4 The Chapel of Torkol

Episode Date: March 19, 2016

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 2In which our heroes intrude on a private function. We stumble into a sermon, attack the priest and Greyson punches a party member. Cassius goes into her back-story, Princess Ansley is cursed and Leo steals a liver. So join us as we take a massive dump. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sandspance Radio. Like all men, we put our pants on two legs at a time. Hey everyone, Sandspance wants to take our show on the road and go around Australia, but we're not sure where to start. So to help us get an idea on the best place to go, we've put together a survey you can access from the show notes or just head to our website, sandspanceradio.com, and one will automatically pop up. We have a limit of 1,000 responses, so all you international listeners need not respond. But don't worry, when we're ready to go overseas, you guys will be the first to know. So thanks in advance, we hope to see your handsome faces very soon.

Now, enjoy the show. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table trying to hit on imaginary characters, but that's exactly what we're going to do today. Welcome to episode 29 of D&D is for Nerds. I'm Jackson Bailey, I'll be playing the part of Cassius Christie. Next to me is Ali Kathleen playing the part of Ainsley Foggyfeather. Yep. And Giles Amet playing the part of Leo Shadow. Yeah. And of course our ever incredible handsome DM Adam Catchingbugs. It's not flattering when you call me... Shut up! Previously on D&D is for Nerds.

Constantly looking for traps. We're gonna have to jump this pit now. Grayson has taken off his armour and looks ready to make it run across. Don't sass me, Grayson! He falls into the pit. Oh no! Grayson, no! I'm okay.

Hey Grayson, what! I'm okay. Oh, thank god. Hey Grayson, what were you thinking, buddy? I thought we had planned a system. Full cock, Aidsley. We've talked about this. Cassius, you can hear running water. You step in, the door seals shut, and then water starts pummeling into the room.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Thought it was okay, wasn't OK. Should have found this track. My name's Cassius and I fight water with water. Fuckwit. You don't find an off switch, but you find another door. It's secret and set into the wall. Parties split in an unknown land. You continue your adventure towards the Dragon's Hoard.

OK, I'll start with Ainsley and Grayson and then I'll move to you two bugalogs. It's fun to split a party. We'll just have a bit of a chat. Get to know each other. So, you guys backtrack? I cannot wait for that conversation. Yep.

You backtrack? No, we're going forward, aren't we? You can't go forward. There's the door. Into the next. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You backtrack back to that main corridor that you started at. You go to the next, like, left along.

I'm on board. And you track down that way. Yep. I need, like, a visual representation. Like, I can't read your writing, Adam. DM notes. It's okay. I won't look, Adam.

It's fine. Get one of the guards. Get one of the guards next time. You know the DM guards. Oh, I want to get one of those, but they don't sell them for 3.5 anymore. Or they do on eBay for like a hundred bucks a pop. It's a bloody piece of paper, alright? It's not about it saying D&D. If I don't get the right one

then how will people know? It's a good point. They sell fifth ed ones. We track back. Alright, hold on. What were you doing? Okay. You trek back. You take the next one left. Yep.

It immediately makes a right turn, which would mean that it's going away from the rune. So Grayson stops at that corner. Do you reckon... What do you want to do? Keep going. See if we find... See if it comes back around maybe.

All right. Well, you know, we might as well get the amulet. We might meet them out the front. You know how you go to a party, you're like, oh, we've lost them, but we want to go home, so we'll just meet them out the front when they're done. Yeah. Hey, we'll probably be all right.

Yeah, I mean, it's fine. And I mean that Cassie's chick, again, I'm not. I'm going to hold here for a sec because this might be very convenient for me. So Leo and Cassius, you're in that sort of somewhat water, it's actually probably only up to your ankles, waterlogged sort of corridor. You can only go one direction, which is basically the same direction that you started in. All right.

I take a bit of point, so I can kind of look for traps a bit better than what I did before. And, yeah, we started in the chat to Cassius. So how long have you been a druid for? Whole life. Yeah? What brought you into the druidic life? I was raised a druid in a forest. Yeah?

Fought everything in the forest. Uh-huh. And then nothing left to fight, so I went into town, fought everyone there. Listeners, you can't say this, but Jackson's like miming wading through water. Like a little dwarf walk. Yeah. It's probably up to

your knees. What's up for me then? Oh, actually, oh, you're a halfling. It's up to both of your knees. Oh, no. And I've basically been fighting and fucking, you my way around the kingdom yourself um oh i was uh just got into trying to be an assassin a bit of a bit of a thief but i kind of got uh i think something went down in the thief guild uh-huh yeah back to ainsley and grayson yep i don't know what happened there. You're traveling down that corridor that's leading away from the room.

And you encounter a teeth, like another right turn, or you can keep going straight. Grayson says keep going straight. They said if I ever come back, they're going to kill me. You get to a big stone door. About the same time that you two guys Leo and Cassius you come to a

corridor you're in ends and there's a little lever next to the end pull the lever Kronk check it for traps would ya check to see if that's copyrighted Kronk wrong lever Kronk I check for traps or at least check to see if I pull the lever

what happens it's impossible to tell just give it a tug Jackson's Saturday morning just give it a tug give it a tug you guys open that stone door

yep can we? You can if you want. Feel free, it's a free country. You turn the knob and just push. It's a steel door. It's a stone door, like in the bloody Flintstones, and there's a knob you can turn.

Is that the picture you're painting for me, Adam? Pretty much. I would like to Flintstone-style open that door. With your feet? Don't they just open? No, they don't open with... What episode do they open with feet? I think the problem she's having, Adam,

is that it's a stone door with a stone knob. Yeah, so? That's the thing. What's the problem? That's the thing. Yeah, what the fuck? Ain't you never read no fantasy books? No.

Ain't you never played no Skyrim? No. I think the problem is Zabit I'm getting mad at you guys you and I don't play D&D so this makes no sense see I'm thinking like a mechanic like you know

like a door normal mechanics with like the knob turns mechanism yeah mechanism goes in without a lock it's a very simple mechanism yeah it's just

yeah but it's fucking stone Adam hey you know why don't you never mind fucking talk to Cassius about that magic

that he did or like I like that there is where we draw the line stone door Why don't you fucking talk to Cassius about that magic that he did? I like that there is where we draw the line. Stone door with a nub. What? Not suspending my disbelief. It's a very simple mechanism. Okay, fine, fine, fine. Okay, you open the stone door.

You guys pull the lever. Both of the doors open in the same room. What? Hey! You're in what looks like a chapel. Oh, rad. This is a bad place for a wedding. Up the other end of the chapel,

giving a sermon to basically no one, is an elf in very dark-looking robes. He might have the amulet. He's talking in some arcane language that none of you understand. Did we notice him? You can't not notice him. He's giving in some arcane language that none of you understand. Did we notice him? You can't not notice him. He's giving a sermon. But when we opened the door and saw each other, did we scream, hey?

You can if you want. I assume we did. Okay. So he stops his sermon when he sees you guys come in. Uh-oh. But his words echo for an extra second throughout this chapel. What's he talking about? I said he's talking in an arcane language you don't understand.

Is he talking about us? Who are you, he says, that you may come into the Chapel of Torquil? Well, I'm Ainsley, Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather, and this is Lear Shadow. Hiya. Hello. This is Cassius Chick. I can't remember her last name.

Cage? No, that's from Mortal Kombat. Christy. Cassius Christy, can't remember her last name. Cage? No, that's from Mortal Kombat. Christy. Cassius Christy. Yep. And this is Grayson. I don't know his first name, but, you know, power couple. Well, is that his first name?

We don't know. It's just Grayson, he says. Okay. This is just Grayson. But, you know, he's a bit of a champ. So, hi. What are you doing? What are you doing?

Why have you defiled this chapel, he says. I wouldn't call it defiled. I'd call it getting lost and almost drowned. We're looking for an amulet. What you seek beyond this chapel is not yours, but is the domain of the dragon

god Torkal, he says. Well, I mean, yep. I hear that. Leave now or face the consequences. Well, I mean, yep. I hear that. I hear that. Yep. But so, yep. Leave now or face the consequences. I'm going to shoot him. I thought so.

Yes. Before he. Nope. You're like, and, and furthermore. You know what? I tried to be polite. I introduced us all. I gave us a bit of a backstory.

He was rude. I'm going to shoot him. Maybe we can form a barter system. Nope. Nope. Okay. I. Rapid shot. Okay. He was rude. I'm gonna shoot him. Maybe we can form a BART assistant. Nope. I, um... Rapid shot. Okay, you rapid shot. Yes, I do. Cause you know what? I tried. Did you? Yes, I did.

Did you, Ainsley? Yes, I did, Leo. I tried. Okay? This group's in a super bad way. It needs counselling. Grayson nods. We need like a team boss vacation. Was this crip guy

that good? Your first arrow catches him in the shoulder and your second one misses. In the dick. One day you'll

shoot someone in the dick Ainsley. I think you already have. So good. From memory. She's tried I know a lot of times

but whether it's worked out. Now we go to initiative. It's like I'm so angry I'm going to hit you in the dick. Yeah. So good. From memory. She's tried, I know, a lot of times, but whether it's worked out. I think it's like a rage shot. Now we go to initiative. It's like, I'm so angry, I'm going to hit you in the dick. Yeah, it's good. I never used to think that until I met you guys. I like that you get barbarian rages occasionally

without having any points in barbarian. It's good. Yeah, because it's hanging out with you guys too much and as a person and as a character, I just, you know, I'm a pretty princess. La, la, la, la, la. Hit him in the jerk. That's what happens.

That's understandable. I mean, if you're going to aim for a wizard, you may as well get him where it hurts. Yes. Smack him in the wang. That's a wizard's weak spot. I'm pretty sure you, yeah. I'd probably go for the head, like, to try and kill him.

Do we all play against class? Because I know that I always basically play a monk by punching everything. I don't know what my class is or what I should play for or against. Ranger. Yeah, I know that. Yeah, you kind of do. Have you seen any of the Lord of the Rings movies? I've seen all of them.

You're Legolas. Legolas. You're Legolas. I'd say Strider, but all right. No, but it's our own. He's more of a Legolas, to be honest. I think he's a rogue. Yeah, Strider would be like a rogue. I thought Strider was a ranger. No, but it's Arrow. He's more of a Legolas, to be honest. I thought he was a Rogue. I thought Strider was a Ranger.

No, he just is a Ranger. He is a Ranger. That's his job title, not his class. The actions of Legolas are more in line with how a Ranger would act. Strider's maybe a fighter. I thought he was a Rogue. Is Fighter a fifth ed club? Early versions of Ranger were based after Strider

slash Arrow and whatever. But later versions are kind of more Legolas. Or at least in the movies, if you're thinking a ranger and what a ranger does in D&D, you're thinking what Legolas does in the Lord of the Rings movies. See, I always, my point of reference is World of Warcraft. So I think of a rogue as someone that could just disappear in an evasion tank. I don't know what any of that means.

That's my point of reference. I like being a druid because it means I can talk to animals. I know. And plants, apparently. And plants, eventually. Eventually. I can awaken plants eventually. That's so good.

Give them life! But then do you put them back to sleep? No, no, they're my friend forever. Oh, cool. So Ainsley... Hold on a second. Do they have to stay where they are? Do you have to come visit them every now and then?

No, they get, like, legs and a face. Oh, that's amazing. I don't know if that's true. I don't know what you're talking about. Awaken the spell. Oh, no, they get no special abilities other than they become intelligent. And then does he just leave them behind? You give a plant sentience.

Yeah. I think, like, with plants, they can sort of move, but, like, they're rooted to the ground. Are they happy to be sentience? Yeah. I don't know. Are you happy to be sentient? Well,'t know. Are you happy to be sentient? It's a mixed bag.

Yeah, it's a mixed bag. But to suddenly have it. I've grown up. I'm born and then I gradually become more and more sentient as I go along. Whereas if you give a plant a sentence, like, I'm alive. The whole world shits. What's going on? Somebody stands on me.

I got pooped on today. What's going on? I can't wait. So. Yes. Uh on? Somebody stands on me. I got pooped on today. What's going on? I can't wait. So. Yes. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. The cleric points a finger at you, Ainsley.

Good. Oh, yes. Hello. No, I'm angry. That's right, because he was rude. And says. Oh. He says.

This group, like, seriously, after, counselling for you two? I think we need a team bonding vacation I just want us to think things through That's all I want He points a finger at you Ainsley and says, thou who hath defiled Torquil's temple and

Torquil's messenger a curse upon ye This is bad Can I shoot him in the dick again? You can try. Because like before he turns into a curse. Might have trouble after what's about to happen. No, no, no, no, no. Please let Ainsley be about to become a turtle.

How I wish. Okay, this whooshing sort of sensation passes through the chapel. There are candles lit along here. Oh dear. Did he light all those candles? They all flicker. Some of them go out and then you feel

the air like you're winded. It just gets sucked out of you. You feel weak and infirm in this place. You've been cursed. Am I a plant now? No, I imagine it feels like, you know when you have the flu and you're like, it's hard to do anything.

Oh no. Do I have the sniffles? No, you don't have the sniffles. It's not exactly like the flu. It's kind of like the flu. There's that feeling of life is shit. Yeah, no, you do have that. Like you've just became sentient.

You're like, oh my god, I can't handle this. That happens. Then Grayson readies his spear, screams and charges at this guy. What a kid. I love that man. I'm going to marry that man. Grayson is fuelled by your love for him. Oh, God, that's beautiful.

I wrote that. I wrote that. Yeah, I'd like to say to Cassius. Hold on. Just calm your thumb. I'd like to say to Cassius, that's beautiful. Thanks, man. Give her a cute little nod.

Continue, Adam. I'm her a cute little nod. Continue, Adam. I'm getting in so much trouble. He takes the stairs in one giant leap, pushes aside the wooden pedestal, and skewers the man behind it. Epic. I love it. What a champ.

Yeah. What are you two doing? You're just standing there watching. Just standing there watching. It's nice it's got it. No, we're in turns, yeah. Oh, okay. We're an initiative.

We're not just like, sick. Cool. Yeah, he gets the guy in the belly and pushes him back a step with just sheer force. Leo, it's your turn. Can I run up and stab? Oh, sorry, Ainsley. Sorry, I'm completely...

Hang on. Never mind. Sorry, Leo. Highs all those. Highs. High mind. Heis or Lois? Heis. Heis. Heis. Heis. Heis. Lois. Heis. Heis. Okay. Just this

cleric's force of will makes you want to stop and not move, but you manage to force yourself to act. Yes. You can do what you want to stop and not move, but you manage to force yourself to act. Yes. You can do what you want. Alright. Well, I guess he's kind of taken down. You're very weakened though, I'm going to say.

Maybe I deserve a sit down. There's plenty of pews. I like that you've gotten the will to move to make you not move. There's like a bunch of pews you can sit down on. I mean, there's only one guy, isn't there? Yeah. I'm just thinking maybe I'll sit down.

I can walk over and just make sure he's dead, I guess. No, there's still fighting. The fight hasn't stopped. Oh, well, in that case, if I shoot, am I going to shoot Grayson like I did Leo that one time? Oh, no. Potentially. It's good. No, I think I'm going to walk over to get a better shot.

Okay, you can try. Leo, now it's your turn. Can I run up and attack? Not this round because you're too small. Sling. You can sling, yeah. Throwing a crowbar or a sling, what's better? Crowbar.

Always crowbar. Sling. All right, I'll take a few steps forward and sling. You hit him. Sick. Good stuff. Smack him in his forehead. This is what happens when people are rude to us.

Like, in reality, this is not how things happen. That's a great point there, Ali. You are correct. My goodness, what a... We've walked into a church, someone's like, you're super rude, and we're like, how about you get an arrow in the dick? Super rude? We've

intruded on this man doing a sermon and we're like, to no one. You want us to leave? How about you get an arrow in the dick? Well, hold on. What would you have done, Leo? What? I would have kept trying to barter with him. What for what?

If there's anything we could do. He wasn't listening. You didn't give him the chance. Cassius, what would you do? I might have listened. No, you wouldn't. You guys are liars. Yeah.

I've learned from my mistakes Ellie half cocked full cocked yeah yeah we're quarter cocked right now anyway Cassius it's your turn

uh I won't be able to I've got a 20 foot step I'm not going to be able to reach him am I do you have a ranged weapon oh I have a sling you have a sling

yeah you can use that if you want don't hit Grayson uh yeah I might as well oh wait take a few steps forward. Oh, no, then sling. I was going to say, can I use entangle?

I got entangled. That'll affect Grayson. There's no way. No ifs or buts. Actually, it'll affect Leo and Ainsley. It'll affect literally everyone. It's not a big chapter. I'll use my sling.

Take a few steps forward, then sling. That could be our counter. You hit him. So, yeah, like Leo, not Leo, sorry, Grayson, you know, leapt up, stabbed him in the belly with his spear. He's like, ah, then two little rocks from the slings bop him on the head from both of you guys. He's like, ah, what the fuck?

Okay, it's their turn. Their? It's his. I know. You know what I mean? It's his. I know. You know what I mean. The singular there. The singular. The royal there.

Yeah, the royal there. The royal there. O. Uh-oh. No, no, not an O. No, thank you. I don't want an O. I want an O.

All right. No thank you I don't want to Oh I want to Alright He tries The priest Tries to grab Grayson But as he does it Grayson just like He's skewered On Grayson's spear

So Grayson just Backs up On his spear Awesome And now he's like Too far away to touch That's so good Grayson's a champ

He is quite amazing I'm so glad He's in our party Sorry Imagine how many times We'd all be dead good. Grayson's a champ. He is quite amazing. I'm so glad he's in our party. Sorry. Imagine how many times we'd all be dead. I know. Grayson pushes himself a little bit away, then lifts up a boot,

pushes this guy off the end of his spear and spears him again in the belly. Fuck, Grayson's amazing. He has a few anger issues I'm a little concerned about. That's something you'll have to, you know. In the group counselling. Out of, you know, battle time. The priest tries to swear, but he seems completely winded

and he just like does that sort of shit. Ainsley, highs or lows? Lows. Lows? Damn, you're good. You can still move this time. Yes. I guess I'm just going to keep moving, I guess.

Well, you're, like, next to them now. Oh, can I stab? Yeah, you can draw your sword and attack if you want. Long sword in the face. Maybe not the face. That seems rude. The dick. No.

No, not the dick. In the belly. You draw the sword? Grayson's got, like, full autonomy over the belly area. He's already marked it as his. Oh full autonomy over the belly area. He's already marked it as his. Oh, the guy's belly area? You're talking about your belly area?

That's Grayson's belly area. So you draw your longsword and as you draw it you realise immediately that it's a lot heavier than it should be in your hands. You feel weak and infirm. You feel weak and, like, infirm. You swing, though, and because this guy's so distracted by having a spear in his belly,

he completely misses you attacking him, and you catch him in the shoulder. Yes. Always the shoulder. I only know two parts of the body. Belly, shoulder, throat. Yeah, shoulder, belly, throat. You gouge him deep away. Sick.

I mean, yeah, great. Or gross, whatever. Super gross. Leo, can I walk up and stab? You can walk up and sneak attack now if you want. Yes, that. Oh, yeah. Use your flank bonus, whatever that is.

Oh, shit. He's flank bonus, whatever that is. Oh, shit. Oh. He's not going to use it. Oh, boy. Crit hap. Crit hap. Crit hap. Crit hap.

That was a bit choral. I feel like you wanted us to join in, but I didn't. No, I didn't know what to do. How much sneak attack do you get? I forget. Sneak attack. Sneak attack. Sneak attack. Like, ask me a question.

Here's my sheet. Thanks. That's how we deal with our problems. Checking that's what Wolverine says. He's like, I'm just going to sneak attack. Yeah, sneak attack. Sneak attack. Anyway.

Brilliant jokes aside. Can I get Wolverine claws? Maybe we should all invest in some Wolvie claws I'm going to get wood gauntlets Why can't you use metal? It's a druid thing It's not natural

I'll get grossed out I'm a druid Like a nature wizard It's wonderful So you Leo You slip in silently And stealthily wizard. It's wonderful. So, you Leo, you slip in silently and stealthily

such that you're positioning yourself like it's Grayson, him, you. You stab him in the back and as you come out you see the blood like bubble. You've hit him in the lung and you hear He's already super winded I think we can just walk away now

he can't take a breath Cassius I just want to go up and do one knockout punch to end it all yeah put him out of his misery bam uppercut you miss

a bleeding winded somehow did you miss I just trip over. I try to bop him on the nose, but Grayson's moving him around on the end of his spear. Okay. He puts his own hands on himself

and he starts chanting for his god to give him the strength to fight you guys. Nope. Strength to go on. Yeah. No. Look at that. Let's just kill him.

I'm so sick of this. Like, I'm so sick of his shit. Like, he's just been. His wounds. Reheal themselves. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Around the spear. Oh, he took the spear out.

Guys, super concentrate and, like, aim for his throat. And he starts his spell out like... By the end of it, his, like, breath has come back. Ah, poo. Ah, poo. Leo gutturally barks something about his god, can go... Can go give him the strength

where the sun don't shine and misses him promptly. You mean Grayson. Grayson, sorry. Who did I say? Me. Okay. Talk for me.

That seems... All right. I guess I do say that, though. Sure. All right. He, like, tries to stab, but this time the guy's ready and ducks underneath it.

Uh-oh. Ainsley? I feel like this is probably a good idea to be like, maybe we started on the wrong foot. Yeah. I feel like this is the opportune time. This is like the perfect moment to bring that up. Perfect. I would like to cut his head off.

You can try. Yeah, I'd like to aim for his throat so then he's... The sword is way too heavy in your hands. You nearly drop it. On his throat? Whoops. No. Leo, it's your turn. Uh, can I sneak attack still? Yeah, go ahead. I'm gonna keep on sneak attacking.

Uh, you miss as well. This slippery... This slippery piece-it! The fight looks like it might turn against you guys. This guy's powerful. This is upsetting. We were doing so well. Uh, Cassius? I punch him again.

Yay. You land a hit. We were doing so well. Cassius, I'll punch him again. Yay. You earned a hit. Yay! Knock him out. Come on, fuck boy! Knock him out. It's more of a love tap than a proper hit.

Boop! And it's back to his turn. I'm going to get fucked. Someone's going to get fucked. Ooh, that's not good for you guys. Hang on. Oh, that's not good for you guys. Hang on. Oh, okay, good. He tries to reach out for, I don't know, let's say... Grayson, again.

But Grayson takes a step backwards. Grayson's wily. Grayson's using his spear in a fashion such that if he wanted to advance on Grayson, he'd have to skewer himself again. Awesome. Grayson's turn. Speaking of skewering people on the end of spears. Grayson.

Grayson gets him. My boy. My boy. My main man, Grayson. My main man, Grayson. That's much better. It was good and then it went bad. When it went oof.

It's like he didn't even heal himself. Oh, yes. I love this man so much. Oh, keep forgetting. Ainsley. Hi, Zolot. Hello. Yeah, you can't move.

You're feeling too exhausted. I think I'm just going to go back. You can't do anything. Just lie down. Leo. Snake attack. Get snuggy. Keep on stabbing. Get snugged. You can't do anything. Just lie down. Leo? Sneak attack. Get snuggy. Get snugged.

You hit him. Yes. No, I'm talking to Leo. Yeah, no. I'm encouraging. She's happy for the crew. I'm happy for the team, Adam. Gosh.

Gorsh. Please stop. I'm feeling so bullied. They make me do this. Okay. Every time you hear the dice roll, it's not. It's just his shackles. Help.

Help. Shut up, Adam. So, Leo. What a brutal. You stab inwards, and when you come out, you come out with something like this brown shit on the end of your fucking dagger. You think it might be liver.

Oh, gross! Delicious! I flick it off to like... Cassius! Bop him on the nose. What are my offensive druid spells? I think there's one that like... I'm just going to make a joke, like, you know, offensive. Oh. Yeah. Solid. Do I have any? I think there's one that like I'm just going to make a joke like you know offensive it would have been alright

do I have any? I think you've got literally one oh no here we go produce flame sick so you'd have to roll concentration first unless you want to take a 5 foot step back I'll do that the way it works is you cast the spell and then a ball of fire

appears in your hand but I think you need to wait a turn before you can throw it at someone. Oh, I'll pay that out. That's fine. Yeah, so you've got to cast the spell and then produce flame, what secondary ability is. You cast the spell and then it's like a light in your hand and you can throw that light as a fire weapon. Sick, I'll do that. So you take a step back,

you harness the natural energies latent in this area. Or take a shit, either one. Or take a massive dump. And you create a ball of fire in your hand. Awesome. That'll be your turn, though. You know, I have alchemist fire. Yeah, no.

That would have hurt us all. Yes, it would have. Unless you poured it down his throat. We're learning. Slowly but surely. Could that be used as an interrogation technique, or would that just kill someone? I feel like it might just kill them.

I think it might kill them. Making someone drink alchemist fire. I'm sorry, I'm somewhat preoccupied. Finally, this cleric gets in underneath the spear and grabs cassius no no no no no we have no he looks you dead in the eyes you're like uh he's like had to drop to your height because you're a dwarf so he's dropped to your height and and he says, may my God take your sight. No! You fuck!

You absolute fuck! As he says that, blackness comes in at the edges of your eyes and consumes your sight. You can't see. Motherfucker. Motherfucking fuckboys taking my eye. Okay. What the hell is a fuckboys taking my eye. Okay. What the hell is a fuckboy? He is.

It's Grayson's time. So you can't see him, but you sure hear when he screams out in pain. Ainsley and Leo, you see. Yeah. He steps behind, spears him straight through the head. Oh, my. And the spear, like, gets inches from where Cassius is. But Cassius can't see.

Yeah. He puts his boot on the back of this guy's head, pulls, and the guy goes limp after it comes out. Does that mean you automatically get your sight back? Is my sight back? No. He's dead. Cassius is dead. Myius, he's dead.

My eyes are gone! Oh yeah, you feel his clutch of you go limp. Do I still have the fireball? Are my blue balls? No, you still have the ball of fire in your hand. You can see with it. Everyone else can see with it, but you can't. Can you put it down, please?

Can I put it on the ground? You can throw it at something. I don't know what I'm going to throw it at. Everybody get out of the way! Just throw it at the roof! Okay, you throw it in a random direction. Can I just hold it? Ainsley, high or low?

No, actually, Leo, you haven't done one yet. Alright. High. Should have gone with Ainsley. Ha ha, you fucked me. You fucked me on the low front. Okay, Leo, you're one to two. Ainsley, you're three to four. Grayson is five to six.

No! That's a three. Who did it? Ainsley. What happened? What happened? What happened? Uh, hang on, wait.

This fuck girl over here. Oh! What happened? What happened? Oh, no. No! No! He picked up a crit hat, but it's for a bad.

It's a crit hat bad. Yep. Basically, he piffed a... What happened? Tell us. Okay, you throw the fireball, and as you throw it, you unintentionally imbue it with electrical energy as well. How did you even do that?

I don't know. This is why I don't trust you. Ainsley, he says, get out of the way, and that's literally all the warning you get before it strikes you in the chest. Why couldn't I be turned into a turtle? You take 14 points of damage. Thank God I'm super tanked.

That's okay. 14 points of damage. Still shit. Still unhappy I'm super tanked. That's okay. 14 points of damage. Still shit. Still unhappy with you, Cassius. I still have drug dishes with you. You nailed Ainsley. Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

He took my eyes. They're still there. Just hang on. Grayson socks you in the face. Is this the end of Cassius? Maybe. Find out next time on D&D is for Nerds. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com. Hey there, fellow adventurer.

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