D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott II #8 Three Mice and a Lizard

Episode Date: April 16, 2016

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 2In which our heroes pursue a contract to it's logical conclusion. We go off in search of wolves, discover that there are three sous and set a trap. Cassius detects animals or plants, Princess Ansley has the hiccups and Leo thinks he's dead. So join us as the Dungeon Master makes a mistake, not that he'll admit it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, don't make me beg. The annual podcast awards are open for nominations. And since we have a lot of shows under the Sands Pants Radio banner, we're throwing the dice and seeing what happens. So, under games and hobbies, we'd love to see D&Ds for nerds, Plumbing the Death Star for comedy. It's just good business under business because how funny. People are going to be like, yeah, investment banking,

and then just get like Dog Casino or, hey, Rent-A-Nan. Ah, just the disappointment they'll have when they download that. Movie maintenance for TV and film, and shut up a second under entertainment. Also, there's a People's Choice Award, and wouldn't it be amazing if D&D's for Nerds was nominated? So if you could go to podcastawards.com and nominate one or some of our shows, or other podcasts you like. Nominations close on April the 30th. Thank you all for your support, and that's about as much information as I

got right now. Anyways, enjoy the episode. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table wondering who drank the last of the Mountain Dew, but that's exactly what we're doing here today. Welcome to episode 33 of D&D is for Nerds. I'm Jackson Bailey, playing the part of Cassius Christie. Across from me, we have Jos Amet, playing the part of Leo Shadow. Woo!

And Adley Kathleen, playing the part of Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. Well, I didn't drink it. I reckon you did. And as always, our fine, pretty good DM, Adam Canteen Canteen. I don't want this. Adam Shush. Previously on D&D is for Nerds. I hope I can get my sight back.

Grayson looks really, like, good in this new armor. Oh, no. And you didn't want him to have it. It's gonna bite us in the ass. Oh, my God, and it'll be wonderful. No, see? You don't know.

Damn foreshadowing. Why don't we just go shopping when we get back to the elven place? This is free. It's not gonna be free if we're fucking cursed. Theoretically. Leo, your hearing returns

Well, when you're cursed as fuck You'll be like, oh, I should have listened to Ainsley No It'll just be me and you, Ainsley Everyone else will be cursed I know I didn't take nothing What's that around your finger?

One shopping montage later Just as an incentive If you come back with the amulet I will magically teleport you to a place of your choosing. After spending a whole bunch of your gotten and ill-gotten gains on stuff, what do you do now? I should have bought something.

I should have bought a little hat for my app for Mr. Fist. Can we maybe... Buy a little hat for Mr. Fist? Yeah. How much silver do you have? I have 14 silver and 2 copper. 7 silver and 6 copper. 7 silver and 6 copper. Done.

Done. Yep. I'm kidding. I just wanted to hassle you. It's probably like 5 silver. Okay, 5 silver. I'll buy a tiny little hat for Mr. Fist.

A little beanie. Aww. God, it's adorable. Right? Yes, good. Gotta keep his hand warm. He wakes up rather confused then. I'm like, Mr. Fist,

I just send him like the instinct, good. What sort of thing do you... What sort of cap is it? It's like a little woolen beanie that goes over his head. What does it look like? It's blue with a bright red pom-pom on top. Mr. Fist is like, I can't hunt with this. I'm like, Mr. Fists, you're adorable!

They'll see me coming. Mr. Fists, you hunt by sound! They'll see me coming and they'll laugh at me. You'll wear it and you'll like it! I'm gonna lose this.

I'm mad at Mr. Fists. Mr. Fists flies off. He's going to go find his meal for the night. I'm like, come back! I have 16 mice for you! Breakfast. He prefers them fresh. There's mice that have been there for days.

I probably smell like rot. Oh, you do. You okay? Kathleen. I'm so sorry. Cough. Cough. There it is.

How good. There it is. Fucking lovely. The hiccups. So, Ainsley, you've eaten too much too quickly, and now you have the hiccups? Yeah. That's okay.

That's fine. I mean, it's hard to sleep with you hiccuping in the cart. Are we taking the cart, or are we walking? You're walking as far as I'm aware. Yeah, we didn't buy a cart. Fuck. We lost the last one. Yeah.

I have abandonment issues. I don't want to buy another one. You never want to get another one. It's probably going to take you longer than expected to get there on foot. We should have bought a cart. Oh, well. We're halfway there anyway. No, you're not.

We're halfway to halfway. I caught away. Ten seconds in. You haven't left the city Oh, I see Yeah, we agreed You were on your way You're probably, like Jackson said, halfway to halfway there Alright, we'll keep going

A quarter, a nice place To set up camp Yeah, we'll go until we can't go no more It's a thick forest here There is a definite path, but the path is one of those ones that only exists because people just walk it all the time.

Anywhere off to either side is just covered in underbrush. The path is really quiet though, so you think you might just be able to sleep on the path. We'll set up a little camp on the path. Just a little side of the path. There's not really much side to the path. You try to give some room if someone needs to get past. I just feel if someone is barrelling down in a cart and horse...

Kind of like when a bicycle comes past. You don't want to be just trampled. In the middle of the path. Before we go to bed, I'm like, I'm gonna test out my gloves! And I'm gonna go into the forest and look for wolves to fight. Adam, let me punch a wolf to death. Something will die.

Oh, no. That would be super funny if I just didn't go. Highs or lows? Highs. Random encounter table it is. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Run! Run! Why did you do that? Because I wanted to fight a wolf.

I got new gloves. I might not be able to punch a wizard. I can punch a wolf. I might have just tried to follow you as well a little bit, maybe, with a short bow and arrow. No, good. I'm looking forward to this. Grayson and I are going to hang back. Yeah, I would be good. I feel like I'm going to die because of my hubris.

And I'm fighting wolves! Is a great name for a college basketball team. Come on, make him fight a raccoon. I don't think it's going to be a raccoon. I think it's going to be like an undead. Or an ogre. I could punch an ogre to death.

Or a bunny. Or a skeleton horse. Why don't you like detect... Skeleton horse, there's an idea. Why didn't you detect animals first? You have this. And I can actually... You have this ability. can actually have this ability

you could have honed in that'd be super funny if I found a wolf and was like wolf I'm gonna fight ya the wolf would be like why yeah just like

ah yeah go back alright wolf all the best of three rounds fisticuffs now I love the idea of Cassius like in her little druid grove

because druids have a grove just becoming apex predator of that part of the forest it's not a fight it's just a apex predator of that part of the forest. It's not a fight. It's just a fight. Yeah. It's disrespectful of nature. I respect nature, but I'm like, I'm on top.

I'm on top. And so when Wolf comes, he's like, you know, he's young, he's like, you know, four or five years old. He's like, I can do this. And he's like, right, best of three. Let's wrestle. Leap on the wolf. Beat all the wolves.

And that's why I came into town. I fought all the animals in the grove. I punched a moose once. I punched a moose to death. It was pretty impressive. That's what got me the respect I needed from those wolves. How the hell did we find this woman? I was on the boat.

On a boat. Oh, my God. Always with the boat. That's not a good noise. Adam, please. Adam, I don't want to die. I just wanted to find a wall. Yeah.

I'm just going to follow you with like a bow just notched already. Oh, good. It's right here. Don't look, Zammett. I'm not looking. I know you will. I'm not going to look. I'm looking dead ahead into Jackson's beautiful, handsome eyes.

Well, baby blues. And they're green. Everybody listen to my Isaac Green. Okay. Cassius, you come to like a little pool in the forest. Yeah. I winked at her. You come to a little pool.

That's a kryptonite. You come to a little pool in the forest. Yes, I come to a little pool in the forest. I punch it. You stand next to it. And maybe you like kneel down to get a drink or something, or punch it or something like that. You look into your reflection, and your reflection shimmers in the water, but it changes just for a moment into an ancient-looking female human.

The reflection is impossibly tall. It has deep blue skin and filthy black hair. You're like, wait a minute. That's not what I look like! And then it lunges out at you. Ah! Yeah, I think you should go to initiative. Oh, initiative after it gets its free attack on you.

Oh. A little sneaky out on the chocolate. You take 11 points of damage. Oh, no! You're lucky you're a tank, mate. I know. Do you ever write down your damage? I got the hiccups. Adam's got them. No, I'm laughing because of what you said, Jackson. Not something I'm reading. I mean, the things I'm reading here

are very amusing. It's fine. You have the hiccups. That's the real gritty shit listeners have come to expect from Sanspan's radio. Hiccups. Hiccups. Somebody has hiccups. We don't edit that shit. We don't censor that shit out. Exactly. You know, it's raw. I'm sorry, everyone.

I like that, I mean, I don't, but that I haven't had a chance to do anything. It's grabbed you and it's trying to, oh, it could have, like, it's, I mean, I don't, but that I haven't had a chance to do anything. It's grabbed you and it's trying to, oh, it could have like, you know, it attacks you first, and this is still part of its attack. It's dragging you into the water.

Oh, God. Now we go to initiative. Initiative to. So I just saw you just get dragged. That's not what I look like. Something just leaped out of the water and grabbed her. Initiative to. I get spooked. You fuck!

I get spooked. You're just going to run? Cassius, it's your turn first. You can let it just drag you in and die. A hero's death. Or I guess you could fight if you wanted to. Is that a hero's death? I'm not going to punch your wolves!

She was never seen again. I'd like to punch her in the face. You're being dragged into the water. You're going to punch instead? Yes. Okay. You try to sock her on the chin, but she's hugging around you, sort of.

You're really too close for that. That's a shame. It's her turn. Cassius, I don't want to kill you twice, but it's not looking good. You could have given me a wolf, Adam. I could have. You could have

not gone looking for wolves. I wanted to test my project. On your own. I'm here. You came along. Okay. It starts tearing into you. Oh, boy. And your boy, your main boy, Grayson, nobody's seen. Nobody's seen.

It's just you and Leo. Leo better save my dick, Alf. Of course. 19 points of damage. All right. You're on a whopping two hit points. Whoa, did I not heal up in between? You healed up a little bit,

but not enough for what you want to do, which is live. Leo, it's your turn. Cast your wand. He'll have trouble doing that. Can I walk over and stab her? You can charge in, yeah, because she wasn't aware of you as well.

You probably get attacks of, not attacks of off, but like sneak attack. Sneak attack. What are you going to use? Your rapier or dagger or something? What's better, masterwork rapier or masterwork dagger thing? The masterwork rapier is probably better for damage. Then I'm going to do that. You score a hit.

You deal ten points of damage to it. It screeches and hisses at you. Does it let me go? No, it does not. Motherfucker. It's your turn, Cassius. I'd like to free myself. A wise choice. It's about time.

You break its hold on you. It's got long thin but very grippy fingers. Gross. I don't like it. And despite their natural, magical, some might say, strength, you manage to break free. It's turn.

It's going to attack. I'm sorry, Leo, but I think it's really mad at you. I'm going to roll, though though to see a couple of things. Just how many times. How far away are they from like camp? I'll give you a, no one's really been making that much noise though. No. Oh no, it screeched and hissed.

In a moment. I'll give you guys a listen check. Yeah. Everyone dies tonight. Leo. Uh-huh. Everyone dies tonight Leo You take Oh Jesus 24 points of damage Guess who's on negative something

Negative 10 is death And what are you on now? So 18 minus 24 18 minus 24 is Negative 6 You die on negative 10 You're 4 You were 4

So every round You gotta check to Cassius You're unconscious He can't even yell for help Grayson stands up At the fire pit That you guys have set up

I'm gonna look look up at him. Did you hear that? I don't. It sounded distinctly. Sorry, I got the hiccups halfway through. A woman screaming. Well, that doesn't sound like Cassius, but we should go check it out. It came from their direction.

Let's go. Now, I just want to look at him and be like, no, I know how you feel. My heart's pounding. I didn't want to kill two people that quickly. Yeah, that was scary. I was so afraid. Cast heal on yourself, then me. I probably can only cast it once per turn.

On you. Kill yourself. Leo, you are on negative. You slowly start bleeding out every round. You're on negative seven now. Oh, God. I'm going to have to use it on you. It's just cost effective.

I dropped my pencil. Everything's happening at once, listeners. Shouldn't come with me. Shouldn't come with me, you stupid, foolish boy. Cassius, it's your turn. I'd like to use the... You can use your wand on Leo. Is that a free action?

It's not a free action. It'll be basically your turn. Oh, you can move still though. Yeah, move away. What you can do is pick him up, grab him, move him, cast the spell. I want to do that. As far away as I can, back towards camp, cast a spell on him.

You're on nine hit points now, Leo, but you're unconscious. If I wake up, I'm doing Wand of the Monster. Let's see what happens. Get some cannon fodder in the way. Guys, I can use entanglement. Yes, you can. Because there's so much forest around.

Ed fucks off back into the water. Grayson and Ainsley arrive. Guys, what's going on? I just was looking for a wolf. What did you do, Cassius? I am haunted. You rolled incredibly high on a random encounter generator. Incredibly high.

Everybody back to the road. I'm going to go pick up Leo and see if I can wake him up. Grayson doesn't say that. I say that. I know. We know. Grayson is not aware of random encounter tables. Isn't he though?

I'm going to pick up Leo and see if I can wake him up. Oh, yeah. you just shake him. Come on, back to the road, now. Can we move from camp now? Yeah, we're going back to the camp. All right, we'll pull it all out. Let's move away from here. Everybody back up, we're walking.

You walk another two hours down thing. Grayson insists that no one else does. I agree. Oh, I do. I'm going to use my wand of Cure Light Wounds on me and on this baby boy. This baby boy over here. You heal two hit points.

Cassius? Oh, God. Four! No, cast your normal spells because we're sleeping the night. We get them back. Oh, yeah.

All right. Oh, you're going to use the one the second time anyway? Third time. I'll use it a second time on him. Third time.

Seven hit points back to Leo. And then I'll use my spell on me and Leo. Okay. You have one casting? Yes. One casting each. Yeah. Cassius heals 13 hit points.

Use it on you because I'm going to heal up a bit. Okay. I'll use the second one on me too. You heal another eight hit points. So you're on a total of 25 now. Cool. And then we sleep. There were more wolves, I mean, there were less wolves in the forest than I thought. Don't you have

a spell, detect animals? No wolves in this forest. Yep. If you had used that, you would have known that. Something about the way you guys conduct business has robbed off on me. Go to bed. Yeah, it's just weird you going off to punch something.

I'm just going to... Someone like me. I would like to pull a Hermione and just be like, get to bed, now. Yeah, let's... Or worse, killed. Let's have a nap. Or worse, expelled.

Let's have a nap. Let's take it in turns. See who's going to be sentry. Do I heal all my fucking hiccups? Do I heal all my hit points? Sorry? When we sleep. Oh, no, you heal four hit points overnight.

Oh, for God's sake. You're like two hit points from four. I'll take watch because I feel bad. Yeah, let's just take it in turns so we know nothing, like nothing, whatever that was, kills us again. The rest of the night passes uneventfully on the road. Yeah, let's just take it in turn so we know nothing, like, nothing, whatever that was, kills us again. The rest of the night passes uneventfully on the road.

Oh, good. Good. That was a time. You nearly died. Oh, yeah, I did. And then I would have killed you, but there's a sort of poetic justice there. So there it is.

So it's morning now? It's morning, yeah How dead is Grayson? What do you mean? Is he still injured from the dragon? No, Grayson's like slowly recovering Like should he get healed? He's still not fully healed, but he's like

Does he want some help? Like does he want some curing? He hasn't said anything to that effect When I ask him outright Oh, when you ask him outright Yeah, he says I wouldn't mind. Alright, we'll use that. I'll use my wand of cure lightwings.

Mark off a use. He heals four hit points. I'm gonna mark off three uses. Alright, so how far are we from this wizard? You haven't made that much progress. It might actually take you a full day still to get there.

All right, we'll do it. We'll keep walking, keep trudging along. Yeah. Trying to avoid any dangerous lake ladies. Yeah, a lady in the lake. You see some elves on the road, but nothing else. Adam, can I note down... We don't have a map of any variety, do we?

No, you do. Oh, actually, I did not... I forgot to mention it, but Azil the CEO gave you his map. I'd like to note down where that lake was, that little pond was. With a little skull? I'll be back. When I get better, I will be back to fist fight that lake lady.

It's going to happen. Rumble in the jungle. Yeah, it's going to be a rumble in the jungle. The whole group of us will go back. We'll have four against one. It'll be a time. Pour some ball bearings so she falls over. Yes, exactly. How good. Alright, we've got to get that lady in the lake now.

Alright. But after we kill this wizard. After we kill the wizard. Fair enough. And then take all the wizard heads back. We'll probably do that before we take all the wizard heads back. Nah, we'll go there. We'll be like, we're ready to teleport to this place here. This lake. That we walked past to get back here.

That we walked past. Teleporters there. Fists of fury ready. We keep walking. I see why it's taking you so long to kill all the wizards, Grayson says. A full day later, the forest range gives way to basically a mountain range. It's not a very big one, like three mountains total, and none of them warrant names. That's how small they are.

So they're just hills. So have we napped again? Well, they are kind of mountains. Like, they do reach pretty high. But have we slept again? Oh, you can sleep again now. It's like a full day has passed. So it's probably nighttime again? Yeah, it's getting to night again.'s like a full day has passed. So it's probably night time again?

Yeah, it's getting to night again. So does that mean I heal? Sorry? Heal? Yeah, if you want to spend another night, heal up. Does that mean I get full hit points again? Yeah, you're on full hit points now. You have two less.

I don't know what I'm on. He stopped writing down his hit points like about 20 minutes ago. Adam takes care of it. 20 minutes ago. In reality. 20 episodes ago. In reality, I don't know how many hit points I have. I, Jackson Bailey, don't know how many hit points I have.

You're going to have less ones. So Cassius Christie doesn't know how many hit points I have. What's this? It's just, those are my stats from... You do you, I'll do me. When I rolled out your stats, I write them up the top before I put them into the spots. It's day one, SpongeBob.

We have a nap. What time are you guys going to get up the next day? Crack a bloody dawn. Yeah, crack a dawn. I don't want to say bloody dawn. Crack a dawn. At first light. At first light?

Yes. There's like a very scenic sort of thing as you see the first of two suns in the sky coming over the mountain ranges. Twin suns? There are three suns. Three suns?

Two suns that spend the entire day in the air and then around midday there's a third sun that just quickly flashes across for like an hour. Why the fuck are there so many suns? There are three moons. What? Three suns, three moons.

It checks out. It makes sense. It's like cyclical. Yeah. Although the three moons stay in the air. Ainsley, have you never looked at the sky before? Something that never really gets described, is it? But no, seriously, there's two suns

and then the third one at about midday. A sneaky third sun. That's usually how people tell midday. A sneaky third sun. All right then. Cool. We'll crack our dawn then with these two suns appearing. Does that mean a sundial wouldn't work?

Not at all. No. A very complicated one might. It's a convoluted one. Sundials still work. The two suns are actually very close together. It's like that hour where the third sun comes through where it's like, ah, fucking sundials.

But you know it's about midday when that happens anyway. Ah, okay. Awesome. That stupid third sun ruled the gift for me. Yeah, but the two suns are usually very... One's slightly higher. Anyway. I suppose we'll go looking for this cave with the white marking.

Yeah. If it's around here. On the lookout for potential things that will hurt us as well. Yeah, it's quite apparent. It's like almost potential things that will hurt us as well. It's quite apparent. It's like almost, it's not actually an arrow pointing down here, but if you didn't know any better, you would assume it was. It looks like it's been set purposely, this white streak marking just above one of the cave entrances.

It's very prominent. It looks like it was put there for a purpose. I'm guessing it's a rune of some kind. Can we have a look? No, it's like someone dipped their hand in paint and just drew down. Oh. Like very obviously. Can we see far into the cave?

It doesn't look like, it does not have the like artistry required. Oh, okay. Sorry? Can we see into the cave? A ways in, yeah. You can see a bedroll, an outfire, and basic camping equipment. Cool. Can I look around?

No one's here, though. No one's here? No. So we keep going further into the cave? It's very shallow. Less of a cave and more like an overhang. No, it is a proper cave. It's just shallow, that's all.

Okay. Ainsley, you're a ranger. I am. Why don't you check to see where things have been? Sure. But make that a better sentence for me Do I have that ability? Yeah you do How do I not know this?

I don't know You look around but it's stone I'm a bad princess too It's all stone floor here It's impossible to tell how many people have been I guess unless you look at the bed There's one bed Roll

But other than that there's like no way to tell How many people or who's been and gone and stuff. Oh, I detect animals or plants. This'll be good. Let me detect animals or plants. The look on his face. I don't know.

You're looking around. There's got to be grass. Like cave lichen. Animals or plants? Yeah, there's like grass, like grass. Like cave lichen. Animals or plants? Yeah, there's like grass, some basic flowerings, shrubs. I don't know, like a lizard or something. I'll go grab a lizard. You grab a lizard.

What are you going to do with it? I know what he's going to do. Who's living here? I talk to the lizard. I speak with animals lizard panicking drop on its tail that's okay why that's all lizards what not all i mean not like iguanas and shit but like skinks and beers i've made an iguana dropping his tail like a fucking goanna or komodo dragon just that would be kind of cool.

Could I pick up a cell and fight people with it? Oh my god, yes. Oh my god, the dream. What did you say again? Who's living here is the first question I ask. And how long ago since they were last here? Put me down and I'll tell you. Okay, he's going to run off.

Do I trust this lizard? No, no, it's a fucking lizard. Can't I? do the charm lizard it might be a little late unless you wanted to cast charm animal but it might be a little late for actual diplomacy you're not sure I feel like if I cast charm animal I'm wasting all my spells on this one lizard

it'll be amusing though I'll enjoy it I'm gonna put you down lizard don't you run or I'll fight you Just put me down on the rocks over there You'll be able to see It's like a green lizard You'll see me easy

Yeah alright I'm gonna roll your reflex save Cause he dives for a hole Yes Ah you get him Hey We had a deal lizard I was gonna say from the thing! You promise?

That's him, like, his tongue thing. Mate, tables have turned. I'll put you down when you tell me who was here and when they were lost about. What's it to me? I won't squish you. Oh, mate. A dead mice.

I have a rotting mouse in this little bag here. You can have two. How good. Not interested. What do you eat? You say that, Mr. Fists, like sitting on your shoulder, like opens his wings and he like stares the iguana dead in the eyes

and he's like, ooh. All right, all right. That's right. Give Mr. Fist a little like, you did good, mate. It's his night time. He had to wake up for that. He smelt it. What did you want to know?

Who's living here? I don't know, some weirdo. When was he last to you? A couple hours ago. Where'd he head off? Get food, probably. Where? Does it every day? What direction?

I don't know, out into the forest. Do you guys want to wait here? I'm asking the lizard questions. I'm going to check the fire, see how long it's... Is it still warm and shit? It's cold. Anybody got questions for the lizard? What time's he come back? Lizard questions. I'm going to check the fire, see how long it's still warm and shit. It's cold. Anybody got questions for the lizard?

What time's he come back? Lizards don't know time. You idiot. Sorry. Jesus, Cassius. Does Grayson have a question for the wizard? Are you having a good day? Does Grayson have a question for the wizard? For the wizard.

Lizard. Lizard. Grayson seems a question for the wizard? For the wizard. Lizard. Lizard. Grayson seems very perturbed by this entire scenario. Oh, my God. No, I don't. Lizard. Mr. Fist says, I have a question. What does Mr. Fist say?

Ask him how fast he is. Lizard. Run! I put him down. Okie dokie. I like that lizard. Mr. Fists is off in a fucking flash. Mr. Fists!

It's over quickly. Mr. Fists lands with a dead lizard. That's nature You were talking to You know what the worst part is? What? As the lizard's running away Only you understand

When it's like I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to die No, please, no What did Mr. Lizard say? He said he went off to get food in the forest. Do we know which direction?

The forest. Lizards are bad at directions. Mr. Fist lands on your shoulder and he's like, mouse, please. He can talk to you now. All right, Mr. Fist. You did good. Mouse, please. Come on, Mr. Fist

You just had a lizard And I'm going to have a couple mice Oh Mr. Fist Okay I give him two more mice Two more mice Three mice and a lizard What a day

He woke up for that too Mr. Fist goes back to sleep It's his night time Good night pal What a day! He woke up for that too. Mr. Fists goes back to sleep. It's his night time. Good night, pal. He's gorged himself. So I guess if he's coming back, should we perhaps hide ourselves?

Set a trap! We've never done that before. Let's set a trap! Let's set a trap! Do we know how to set traps? You're a ranger. Grayson, not Grayson, sorry.

I'm sure that people will be not shocked by this but I don't know every time you go, Alison, Ali, Ali, you're a ranger.

I don't know what the fuck that means. It means you're a nature lady. I got nothing. You keep talking. Should I? It's like a craft

check to make traps and none of you have that. How about we just hide? No, Grayson can make it. Can Grayson about Grayson? Grayson can make a trap. How about we just hide? No, Grayson can make it. Can Grayson make a trap? Grayson can give it a red hot go. I can do everything, Ainsley.

Sorry? Nothing. What did you say? Nothing at all. I'm going to go hide. I'm just saying, we'll set a trap and then we'll hide. I'm going to go hide. What if he comes back and we're setting this trap?

How long does it take to set a trap? Who are you asking? Adam. Adam? Adam. Adam? Adam. Even I don't know. First off, I've actually never made one. Second off, like, depends what type of trap.

Oh, for fuck's sake, we'll go hide. He doesn't have, like, a tent, does he? It's just a bedroll. No, it's... He's been using the cave. I was like, how good to hide in his tent. Let's go... Surprise!

Let's go hide. Can I hide? We're about to be hiding in the nearby woods. Can I get on Surprise! Let's go hide. Can I hide? We're about to be hiding in the nearby woods. Can I get on top of the cave and hide? There are like some large rocks around you could try to hide behind.

I want to be able to jump down on him when he arrives back. If he comes from the wrong angle though you might be at scene. I'm going to go hide in the woods. I'm going to risk it to get the biscuit. I'm going to hide up above the cave with intention to. No one knows what that expression means, Jack. I don't know what that expression is. That's wonderful. it to get the biscuit. I'mma hide up above the cave with intention to...

No one knows what that expression means, Jack. I don't know what that expression is. That's wonderful. It's a good one. You gotta risk it to get the biscuit. It's because it rhymes, Adam. It means sometimes you have to risk doing things to get a reward. A reward. A biscuit. You know when you've done something good and

people give you a biscuit as a well done? Yeah. It's like a dog treat. So, um, Cassius, you hide yourself as best as you can. Ainsley, where are you? Where does Grayson think I should go? Grayson intends on hiding in among the trees because he thinks he's not going to be able to hide at a rock. Yeah, that's a good one. And Cassius is not providing, like, a good example.

Yeah, after seeing Cassius' example, I'd like to say shake roughly. Everyone can see your beard around the rock. But isn't it a glorious beard? All right. Well, let's go hide in the woods. Okay. You do you, Cassius. You do you.

Hide in the woods. You do you. We all hide pretty effectively. Like, Leo, you're hiding in the woods. You do you, Cassius. Hide in the woods. You do you. We'll all hide pretty effectively. Like, Leo, you're hiding in the woods as well? Mm-hmm. Yeah, you all hide pretty effectively in the woods. So how long are you guys going to wait? Until he arrives.

If he doesn't arrive within like six hours, I feel like we'll come up with a different game plan. That's what I wanted to hear. It only takes like two hours for you guys to see this really bedraggled old man. He's got a bit of a balding patch. He has a beard, but the beard is not well kept.

It's frizzy all over the place. And he's got robes that looked like they were nice once, but they've been snagging on shit and stuff like that. He looks like a man who used to have the high life and is now living in a cave.

So where does he come in relation to us? He's carrying like a rabbit on a stick. Sorry? Where is he in relation to us? He's going to be passing... Ainsley and Grayson have hidden just because of the arrangement of trees. Ainsley and Grayson have hidden off on one area

and Leo, you're on another area. And this guy's going to walk straight between you guys. Okay, so I can't jump out behind him and stab him? You can try once he passes you. All right, got it. Cool. Good. All right.

He stops just before he's going to pass you, though. And you all see him. Well, Cassius doesn't because you're behind a rock. But you see him look at where Cassius is and like sort of squint. That could work. Maybe I distracted him. Did you though? I guess that's for next time on D&D is for Nerds.

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