D&D is For Nerds - Zombie Plagued Chult I #25 Deathlock
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Sans Pants Radio. If you've never slept with your head at the bottom of your bed, you need to start living your life. Where's your sense of adventure?
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that Adam and Cash unleash onto an unsuspecting dinosaur land.
Welcome to Season 1, Episode 25 of Once Upon a Time in zombie-claved chart.
Previously.
I go inside my shell.
All right, cool.
You use your action to shell defense.
You gain four to your AC.
You advantage on strength and con-saving throws.
While you're in your shell, you're prone.
You're already prone.
Your speed is zero, and you have disadvantage on dexterity-saving throws,
and you can't take reactions. I come back out as a bonus though yes okay i'm gonna try and stabilize pop all right
pop wake up pop wake up pop pop pop wake up make a medicine check wake up wake up wake up
you fail pop needs to make another saving throw kwasha has no healing magic he is the worst magic
user druids don't have a lot of healing and he's used a lot of his magic.
But he's a big tree lover.
What do they do?
We need a small team of people good at stealth who can make their way to the death lock,
find where the death lock is, and kill the death lock.
It's getting very dangerous now that you're so close and it's so difficult at one point you think one
of the dead turns around to look in your direction there are several dead standing here just
presumably as guards and you see it the death lock having snuck your way through the undead
you've made it to the death lock let me get get you a picture. Hey, death lock. What are you doing here?
You're hanging out with all your friends.
Oh, my God.
Show me.
He's got a big stick.
He's wearing, like, robes and pointy boots and a crown.
He looks fucking terrifying.
Oh, it's...
If I saw this man anywhere, I would piss myself.
Yeah, no, fair, I would.
I'd piss yourself too.
Yeah.
It's like, Cass, what are you doing?
I'm terrified.
I'm pissing yourself.
Oh, my God, no, same.
Twins.
Jinx.
You know, he looks, yeah, he looks like the worst person.
Imagine if you dipped a person in tea,
so they got all of the tannin.
Yes.
You cut the hole in their mouth
and then you treated them like one of those vacuum packing systems.
Yep.
Just sucked all the bits out of them.
All the bits and then all the skins clinging to them.
Put them in some nice clothes.
Some nice green robes and a crown.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Deathlock is facing away from you, but every now and then he turns and you see him in sharp relief.
The fire sits beneath a cauldron, a small cauldron, which bubbles happily with a foul and noxious appearing green brew.
The Deathlock appears to be working at some sort of makeshift alchemy table. with a foul and noxious appearing green brew.
The Deathlock appears to be working at some sort of makeshift alchemy table.
He turns one way to his right and you see him in that sharp relief,
but then he turns to his left and you see him very poorly,
but when he does that, you see small little flicks and gestures with his hand and you can tell that he's manipulating the many dead
when he does that a couple of times he does so and one of the dead standing around him
moves and picks something up or holds something or helps him at the alchemy table
nailed to a tree with her hands above her oh no adam you bastard you see sister syah oh you're such a prick
i clench my jaw there is a whip hanging from a low branch near her and you can see that she is
quite obviously being flayed from the blood slowly pooling at her wounds, you can tell that she's still alive, but she does not seem conscious.
I give you a look, Tiffany.
I just shake my head like, this will not do.
I do like a bully cracking his knuckles gesture and nodding.
But silently.
Oh, you know, like, not actual gonna crack my knuckles.
Come out then.
The death lock turns around to face your group.
I didn't make actual cracking noises, Adam.
No, the death lock turns around to face you.
Do you think I would not notice?
Do you think I would not ward my camp that was fucking bill waddle's job
how close are we can we just attack immediately you can attack immediately if you want i don't
even know what bill waddle try the army trick again bill waddle i have aaddle wanders out of the bush. So does
Ardis, Dragonbait, and
with that prompting, Quasha,
Koopalooie, and Sopeto.
I gesture for you to hold.
Okay.
I unwrap my fist from my
rapier. I point at me,
and I point to everybody else,
and then I point at you, and I point
to Sister Sias.
I nod.
All right.
I join the rest of the group. I have many magics about me and many of them yet to come.
Once I have destroyed your pitiful fort.
Not my fort.
Please speak your peace before I kill you.
All right.
Adam, are you giving me an opportunity to filibuster this ghoul?
What do you mean by filibuster?
You're not familiar with filibuster.
I know what the filibuster is.
I'm not sure what you mean by the filibuster.
So, you know how filibuster works, yeah?
Yeah.
You talk too long so that people can't
vote on a bill yeah so are you giving me the opportunity to talk say my piece to this monster
giving say tiffany enough time to rescue sister sias you could try doing that tiffany hasn't
revealed herself yet no i doesn't look like i could reliably at least try to sneak to it.
You could try.
You don't know necessarily how the death lock sensed you.
So you're not sure if the death lock is aware of how many people are here.
I had to know it was us.
I'll start sneaking.
I have many wards.
A simple alarm spell was enough.
As you walk, you stalk past Bill Waddle and Artis Simbra,
both of whom clock you, Tiffany, and clock where you're moving
and presumably what you're about to do.
Artis Simbra leaps in next to you, Pop,
looking at you sideways and then at the death lock.
But surely, before we do battle battle could we at least know why
you were here and why you have come to kill us exactly that's what we want to know after
artist simba does it bill waddle joins in we're filibustering a ghoul you attempt to distract
the death lock while tiffany moves to sister syass my eyes are up here pal
tiffany while they are prattling on you make it to sister syass she's breathing faintly okay so
what i want to do is lean my body against hers hold her hands in one hand and then cut the rope
really slowly with the other so that nothing's chain
it's she's nailed there's no ropes oh i just cut her hands off
get a good boy card that was funny um can i can i try and use like like wedging my rapier and just
trying to like slowly pull the nails out uh Not with a rapier, you can't.
Dagger?
There is a hammer on the table that you could go grab.
It would be the easiest way to do this.
I used to have a hammer, but that little fellow stole it off me.
Yeah, you did.
Well, then, I will use the hammer.
I will attempt to go near the table.
As you approach the table and grab the hammer,
because you're doing it so gently you drop the hammer because you're trying to use a very delicate touch the hammer hits the dirt
next to you as the death lock turns around bill waddle says very loudly uh that cloak of yours is it also magical the death lock turns back to bill waddle fool
you think every inch of me magical all right oh yeah you're an undead man tiffany you bend down
to pick up the hammer fuck you bill waddle you back to Sister Sias, and you don't know how to do it without making her cry in anguish.
Because as soon as you bring the hammer down, you can tell that she trembles a little bit.
Can we see what Tiffany's doing?
Yeah, you're looking.
It's literally happening behind the death lock.
I mean, you know, we look over here, and we see you in your resplendent robes and i want
to put emphasis on look over here okay and i look uh all right tiffany you follow yeah um
and basically i'm gonna try to everyone is so tense right now. You could feel it from everyone.
What I'm going to try to do here, Adam.
Yeah.
Is I'm going to put emphasis on certain words very loudly in the hope that Tiffany realises that when I yell something to try to free, to, like, to, you know, dampen the noise.
Does that make sense?
You're still going to hear two people yelling yeah i guess you are sepeto drops his sword falls to his knees and scrambles towards the
deathlock's feet please please please he loudly wails and cries at the death i start crying for mercy. Please, please don't kill me.
Please, I'm just a conscript.
I shove one, like the arm I'm not using, I shove it in Thingo's mouth.
I get a bad boy card.
Oh no.
As you pull the first nail out, not only do you fail to pull the nail out, but Sister siass cries out in anguish the death lock turns around and sees you
tiffany at the exact same moment sepeto grabs the death lock's legs and tries to pull to knock it
over at the same time everyone springs into action yeah i body slam this motherfucker okay
tiffany who do you want to act with sister siass is out yeah yeah she's not in this fight springs into action. Yeah, I body slam this motherfucker. Okay.
Tiffany, who do you want to act with?
Sister Sias is out, yeah?
Yeah, she's not in this fight.
Then Cepeto.
And Pop.
Good for Louie.
Everybody's favourite violent weed.
The zombies also spring into action. All of them standing around here.
Tiffany and Cepeto, you're first.
I try so hard to just pry him out while Liz...
You can free Sister Saias, but that's your turn.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, what do you want Zepeto to do?
He dropped his sword to make this play.
Hold onto his legs and don't let go.
Okay, that's what he'll try to do.
Pretty much hold him.
He tries to topple the death lock, but he fails to do so. He's... Oh, no, he does. Actually, hele the death lock but he fails to do so he's oh no he does actually he
pulls the death lock and no he doesn't no sorry because the death lock can pick sorry sorry i was
just trying to work out the rules the death lock remains standing but seppeto does a very good job
of trying to make it topple it's the death locks turn might lose both my arms this time you don't have a tail
anymore right oh no i don't oh i forgot the death lock reaches down and grabs seppetto's hands
the death lock slowly pulls seppetto up as he does so seppetto's body jerks and writhes and quivers.
Before your very eyes pop, you can see Cepedo's flesh begin to decay and turn icy.
I wanted that boy on my team.
By the time the Deathlock is face to face with Cepedo, Cepedo is basically a desiccated corpse.
He lets go of Cepedo and Cepedo's body hits the ground.
But that was his turn, so we all have a turn now.
So thanks, Cepedo.
Thank you.
Thank you, bro.
Thank you.
For whenever, Cepedo.
Passed on Cooper Louie.
We're going to try to just fuck him up, I guess.
All right.
You charge forwards and you get your four attacks.
Absolutely.
Is that crown important?
You don't know.
You can't tell, though.
I'm just going to go for his head.
Heads are important.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Miss.
Hit.
Miss.
Miss.
You hit once.
As you're swinging, your blows keep clattering off some sort of invisible shield all around him.
He appears to have some form of magical armor.
You only manage to land one hit.
You deal eight points of damage.
What do you want Koopa Louie to do?
We could have all been deserters, too, while we were sneaking here.
We just could have snuck off into the woods.
Oh, my God.
As a team.
Imagine if we did.
Bill Waddle wouldn't have come, and neither would have Cepetto,
but the others probably would have.
You really think so? Well, Ardis might have. Dragonbait wouldn't have. Imagine if we did. Bill Waddle wouldn't have come and neither would have Cepedo, but the others probably would have. You really think so?
Well, Ardis might have.
Dragonbait wouldn't have.
You wouldn't have.
No, I wouldn't have either.
Koopa Louie and Quasha definitely wouldn't have.
Ardis might have.
Ardis might...
Flask would have.
Flask might...
Actually, Flask mightn't have now.
Flask is deeply superstitious and believes that he's on a quest.
Oh, that's right.
He does too, counting all those believes that he's on a quest. Oh, that's right. He does too.
Counting all those trees.
He is on a quest.
Koopa Louie.
I don't think anyone in your party other than you two would have done that.
Can Koopa Louie restrain him?
Koopa Louie could try to. With his viney powers?
Koopa Louie has no special viney powers to entangle someone.
I thought he was just like a plant boy.
Like, plant him.
He could try, but Koopa Louie's small.
That's his problem.
He's but a toddler size.
Yeah, but he's a tough toddler.
That he is.
Correct.
I've seen him punch like a hole in a troll.
Hole in a troll.
Favorite game.
Just try to like restrain him.
Koopa Louie attempts to wrap himself around.
Oh, get him in the cauldron.
Cook him in his own stew.
Oh, yeah.
Unless it's a stew that makes you powerful, too.
Zombies attack everyone.
How many?
Countless horde.
I thought there was only six.
More than six are coming.
Both of you are going to take two attacks.
But the rest of the horde is
turning around it doesn't matter i'm on one hit point i take i take two attacks it's like sick
uh tiffany call for vaughn now can i you could try i call for vaughn Somewhere deep in the fort. Hmm?
Vaughn does not feel like going this time.
No, I'm kidding.
Your actual looks of panic was so funny.
No, of course.
No, Vaughn knocks over one of the defenders, crushing him.
Breakbone looks incredibly pissed off, but you can't see that.
Vaughn breaks a hole in the northern wall and begins stomping towards you.
They all heard me say,
you take instructions from the lieutenant unless I need you,
in which I will call for you to bail us out.
Okay.
Do they want this to work or not?
We're not using stealth anymore.
That ghost has been given up.
That's ghost.
That ghost has been given up. That ghost has been given up.
That's what I
wanted to say, but in the end I said something dumber.
No, you said the same thing. You just added
the ghost at the end.
That ghost has been given up. The ghost.
Oh, no. Tiffany, you take two
points of damage as a zombie claws
and snaps at you.
He's still alive.
It's all bad. It's still alive. It's all bad.
It's all bad.
It's so bad.
It's all bad.
If you pass out before Vaughn gets here,
it's not going to do anything.
Pop goes down.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
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His last command was come here.
He doesn't have a mind.
Like Cass,
how do I communicate with Vaughn?
I'm wearing an amulet.
I'm stupid.
Take it off me. I'm son? I'm wearing an amulet. I'm stupid. Take it off me.
It's so sad that I'm so stupid.
I'm starting to go funny.
Just going to say, though, I only just realized that myself.
I was like, oh, no, we can't use Vaughn because I can't use my amulet.
Wait a minute.
It's a necklace.
Do you remember when I died and forgot I had a gift of protection
and also forgot I had an ability that made my attack so much stronger
and you forgot you could set things on fire and also heal yourself or something that time?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
God, we're good.
Hey, I have a potion of heroism.
Also, why the fuck is an old mate using his, like, polar bear?
Isn't it because they want that?
It's not his turn.
Oh.
No, they don't want that.
No, different people.
Oh, my God. The giants, the wizards don't want that. No, different people. Everyone else wants it.
The giants, the wizards, those guys that I got the horse off.
Oh, poor Hank.
Ice forms along the ground in a cracked line towards the death lock.
It ends just beneath the death lock,
and ice slowly reaches up around the death lock's feet,
over its boots, up its legs, freezing it nearly solid.
The Deathlock looks down at the ice creeping up it, then up at Ardacimber.
The Deathlock gives one tremendous effort of magical force, and the ice shatters.
Ardacimber is knocked aback slightly ardisimba looks concerned
then dragon bait barrels forwards i'm dead that's sad dragon bait sword holy avenger
flashes through the night oh fuck it scores two hits and holy avengers extra damage against undead comes in handy yes dragon bait yeah dragon bait
swings holy avenger through the death lock shattering it into a thousand pieces
that's it holy avengers fucking sick also artisember did 40 points of damage with his attack did i do any damage uh you did
eight i contributed wait it's just done is that is he dead uh yeah the death lock is destroyed
by the npcs but nonetheless hey that was easy why were we we worried? I don't know. I'm dead. Okay.
Are we out of initiative?
No, you're not.
There's still a lot of zombies.
They're just not intelligent anymore.
Bill Waddle picks up Pop and yells, follow me.
You splash down into the river and start making your way south.
We can't hide.
Yeah, there's no stealth.
Stealth has been a hurricane.
No, no, no.
But even if we wanted to, Vaughn would just give our position away.
That's true.
Someone's got Sister Sias, right?
Yeah.
Who's holding Sister Sias?
Me.
All right.
Because you're holding Sister Sias, you've got to make dexterity checks to get into the fort.
Sister Sias imposes disadvantage because you're carrying her.
Make sense? If you want, you can pass her on to someone else can someone else take her i i don't think artist simber is there
before you can even finish perfect you will need to make three dexterity saving throws otherwise
the horde is upon you and then you are being carried you have savings for a card did i miss one you're sprinting through the muck and mud
succeed on a saving throw you feel an undead claw in the in the dark slash out at you but you duck
under it and keep going the gates open and you're inside the fort. You're fine. Bill Waddle
leading the charge.
Bill Waddle makes it back in.
Oh, thank God. He's carrying me.
I was like, I'm not worried about Bill Waddle.
I am.
Artists?
They're not waiting patiently anymore because now they're just mindless
and there's prey.
But they don't have ideas. They're not organised. They're not waiting patiently anymore because now they're just mindless and there's prey. Yeah. But they don't have ideas.
They're not organized.
They're just hungry.
Dragon bait needs to stay behind to provide cover for Arda Simber and Sister Saiyas.
So they I will resolve separately.
Quasha.
What?
No, Quasha and Koopa Louie also stay.
Of course they do.
I'll resolve them now.
Oh, because of course, the zombies.
Quasha and Koopa Louie are looking for a fight for these undead.
And Arda Simba carrying Sister Saiyas is the perfect excuse.
They want to fight and to help.
I'm assuming no one's carrying Cepeto because he has been desiccated.
Cepeto is probably very definitely dead.
Okay.
Probably very definitely.
That's good enough for me.
Let's leave.
Dragonbait would never abandon Ardacimber and so is also staying to help.
Except in that vision where they're fighting.
I thought that fight was going to happen.
Oh, my God.
At the camp.
When Dragonbait stood up and Ardacimber gave him a look,
I thought they were going to have the punt the fight at the camp
And I was going to have to steal Ardis Simba's ring
Everyone makes it back into the fort
The gates close behind you
Alright
So
Because no one had time to treat you Pop
I'm just going to roll your death saving throws now
Yeah okay all three
It might be more than three
We'll find out
First one success You're lucky with death saving throws throws now. Yeah, okay. All three? It might be more than three. We'll find out.
First one, success. You're lucky with the saving throws.
Second one.
20. You're back on one hit point.
You've finished the run in.
Takes a lot more than
that to take me down.
Did I just come back through sheer will?
Yeah, basically.
Good.
Being dragged along restarted your heart.
That was all right.
What did I miss?
How?
How what?
I just give you a big hug.
I don't stop the hug.
Ah, progress.
We better get some fucking good experience from this entire fucking ordeal, Adam.
Also, just as some flavor, I pull away from the hug and you can see that I've got bits of your wounds on me because you're constantly leaking.
You've got a bit of me on your face.
a bit of me on your face.
Tiffany
and Pop, over several
days, you are completely
healed, and the
resupply convoy
gets here.
You're just under siege for three days,
but the zombies cannot penetrate the walls
without an intelligent mind behind them.
And we've got Vaughn,
who would have doubled back and come back into the camp.
Vaughn slowly clears through the undead with the defenders as well.
And then when reinforcements get there, it's a simple matter.
Eventually, you clear out the dead.
And did you end up finishing your everyday?
No, I would assume on those three days I've done the healing thing to myself. Someone has.
Sister Sias, if no one else helped you.
Oh, so then you're out of it. Yeah.
Can you get fixed?
No. Your face. No.
No, I can't. A bit like my leg.
Yeah. Face and leg are the same.
The wound thing cleared up, though. You're at the full
negative ten, Pop. A
powerful cleric, more powerful than Sister
Sias, will have to heal you but sister
sias was able to keep you in health so i no longer have to um make the no you no longer have to waste
the spell every when i made a magical mage though they'll restore my hit points to the full maximum
of 98 98 you're currently on 88 tiffany you on 56. Both of you are on full hit points.
My old max was 84, so I'm still winning.
Commander Breakbone is, for the most part, thankful to you for helping.
For the most part.
I still headbutted him very hard. You headbutted him and you also killed one of his men with Vaughn.
I was dying. I fucking died for this fucker twice. You did headbutt him and you also killed one of his men with Vaughn. I was dying.
I fucking died for this fucker twice.
You saved the fort nonetheless. And how many
times did he nearly die in the fight?
I don't know. I didn't check. You all fought
for each other. I didn't fight
for him. Maybe at one point
fucking hell, maybe at one point
Lieutenant Salahana comes
to you and is like, pull your head
in. Don't start a fight.
We need to be pulling together right now.
Oh, that's not going to go well.
Pop, I apologize.
What?
Get a good boy, cop.
What?
I stare at you being like, oh, God, here we go.
And when you apologize, I stare at you for a full minute.
I don't blink.
I don't know what to do right now.
I apologise.
It's the not only is it she's the lieutenant,
I have no rank in this fight,
but also it is a polite thing to do in this scenario
because I respect this person.
A full minute without blinking.
What?
I just sort of shake my head really slightly.
The apology is just vague and more at the lieutenant
and not quite at Breakbone, but it's an apology.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who are you?
Pop Mandarin.
Both of you get 6125 experience points
killing it
killing us
but killing it
almost died but got rewarded
it's kind of like if you won the lotto
but got hit by a truck but then survived
and you still got to keep all the money you won
getting hit by a truck when you win the lottery, but your health insurance covers all of it.
Correct.
You don't have to dip into lotto money.
That sounds like something Alanis Morissette would sing about.
You're both on 33,200.
You're nearly level eight.
Hey!
Like I took most of the campaign to level up, and then one battle.
The biggest battle.
That was exhausting.
Technically, that was four separate massive encounters back to back.
Jeez, that was insane.
So, you right, Horns?
Feel better now?
How are you doing?
Oh, you know, can't complain.
I've been through, well, I wouldn't say worse.
It's been close.
Hmm.
I'm keen to do what we came here to do yeah pilfering from the dead
you find oh yes i love a bit of a pilfer pilfer pilfer pilfer everything for wilfer that's not
my name 400 silver pieces a clear vial containing a viscous green ichor, but scentless and labeled with a pleasant sunflower.
It's basic poison.
Sunflower poison?
Basic poison.
You're basic.
You're basic.
An unused greatsword and a spell book that has a few doodles in it.
Any spells? Yeah, it would contain several spells. Can I learn them? An unused greatsword and a spellbook that has a few doodles in it.
Any spells?
Yeah, it would contain several spells.
Can I learn them?
I don't think so, no.
You can't add to your spells.
I think only wizards can do that.
You don't have a spellbook.
I hand it.
I give it to someone else.
What was the other thing?
A unused greatsword.
Can anyone wield that?
Maybe dragon bait.
His sword's way better than this one, though.
Yeah.
He's got a magical sword.
He's got a sword with a name.
Let's donate these.
All right.
You can leave that with the people here if you want.
Yes.
A golden circlet worth 32 gold.
What's a circlet?
Like a little band that goes around your head.
Oh.
Like a headband.
No, not like a headband.
Exactly.
A headband ties back hair. It's a circlet. That's a hairband. No, not like a headband. Exactly. A headband ties back hair.
It's a circlet.
That's a hair tie.
No.
No, hair ties don't go.
It's a visor.
It's a visor without the vis.
It's a circle of gold that goes around your, like, over your temples and rests just above your brow.
Like a Caesar hat.
Yeah, like what Caesar did.
Like a laurel.
Yes.
A double Caesar. A double Caesar. Gold and double Caesar. Like a Caesar hat. Yeah, like what Caesar did. Like a laurel, yes. A double Caesar.
A double Caesar.
Golden double Caesar.
Golden double Caesar.
A complete golden double Caesar.
Because a Caesar's always got an opening, but this is a... Yeah.
28 gold pieces.
Two scandalously shaped glass flasks,
each filled with pink fluid,
two potions of healing.
We take one each.
Yes.
When you say scandalous, Adam,
are you saying that I'm drinking out of a naked lady?
One of them's a naked lady.
The other one's a naked guy.
I'm taking the lady.
They fit together.
Oh, yucky.
I'm taking the lady.
Butt bomb to bomb.
Yeah, butt to butt.
Just how regular people have sex, like me.
Yeah, yeah.
And then you twist.
Oh, boy.
A thin leather thong bearing a red agate flecked with black, resembling the wing case of a ladybird which uh maybe sister syass says
oh that's lucky it's a lux stone i would like to pocket the lux stone while this polished agate
is on your person you get a plus one bonus to ability checks and saving throws that's nice
ladybug luck stone finally a green gemstone necklace fashioned to resemble an unusually friendly troll.
A periaptive wound closure.
While you wear this pendant, you stabilize whenever you are dying at the start of your turn.
In addition, whenever you roll a hit die to regain hit points, double the number of hit points it restores.
I pass this directly to you.
I put it on.
Wait, I pocket it. Because I don't think, oh, can I wear this?
You can't wear both.
Well, then, maybe.
I give it back to you.
I wear it.
So you either wear that one or the lucky one.
No, lucky one's a stone.
You can just hold on to it, right?
Yeah, it's just a rock, yeah?
Oh, man.
It just needs to be, well, you need to be attuned to it, but it just needs to be in your, it just needs to be well you need to be attuned to
it but it just needs to be in your you just need to be holding it basically it just needs to be in
a pocket so you can only be attuned to three items at a time currently it's the periaptive wound
closure and the good luck stone whereas for you um i've got vaughn's amulet yeah vaughn's amulet
i've got another amulet of forgetsies but but I can't wear it. If you want, Breakbone suggests that you could go back with the wounded on the supply ships to Port Nyanzaru if you want to return.
So, why are we going back to Port Nyanzaru?
Oh, we're going to steal a map.
Refresh, rearm, and steal a map.
That's right.
Or look for maps, at least.
And we're going to steal it.
That's right, because Flask was like, well, we don't have to do it legally.
And Ardis was like, I like theft.
I don't think he said that, but I like to imagine he did.
Yeah.
Yeah, now we'll-
Oh, Flask of Wine also recovers.
Oh, that's right.
I've got to roll for Flask of Wine.
Gahoy.
If he dies now-
First things first.
Highs or lows?
Highs.
Yeah, Flask of Wine doesn't die.
Oh, don't start that with doesn't.
Flask of Wine no longer has a nose.
He tragically can no longer smell.
No.
He can't communicate with Dragonbite at all.
Oh, no.
True.
Also, he can't smell.
That is the greatest.
Before you guys leave, no matter where you're going, flask of wine gets a bit of a bindle
puts any object that he has that he just likes because he likes the smell puts them all in the
bindle wraps up the bindle and hurls it into the water i love flask of wine i give flask of wine a
big cuddle flask of wine returns the cuddle. His soft fur feels nice.
Oh, my God.
I didn't even consider how nice it would be to hug a big cat.
The ball of soft that he used to have.
And then the little rock that looked like a man crying and he threw it away because he used all its magic.
Oh, bless him.
I guess we're going to make it to point nine, Zaro.
Do we chat?
Sister, do you want to try to get Sister Sia to come with us or anything like that?
Or no?
Do you want to talk to her?
I'll say goodbye.
Sister Sias gives you a letter before you leave.
And she says, I was going to mail this to you, but I suppose I can just deliver it directly.
Oh, I hand her the letter I've written.
She takes it.
Thank you. Thank you you i hope i see you
again i think you should still check the post office when you get there okay this might be
the third letter she says oh she's too good to me i thank her i just know if if she comes with us
i'm putting her in more danger it's not here, but the more we do to rid Cholt
of the really bad things that are happening,
the safer she'll be in the long run.
She's not in the middle of it, so I'm not asking her to come with me.
Thank you.
I hope we can keep you safe.
Same to you.
Thank you.
Give her a big hug.
She hugs you back.
I go to Lieutenant Salhana.
Sorry, no, no, no.
Sorry, I've just realized.
It's cool of me to wear the...
It's not magically attuned.
It's fine.
Good.
I can still wear my necklace with my life-saving necklace.
That's very important.
Your life-saving necklace with your other life-saving necklace.
Oh.
Oh, Sister Sires.
Yeah, I go to lot of lieutenants.
I have no idea if you're around for this,
so this could be fun.
Lieutenant,
I don't like serving,
as you probably guessed,
but I'd happily serve under you again
should you ever need it.
For someone who doesn't like serving,
you're a good soldier.
Yeah, I do.
I like to fight.
She laughs.
Look, if you're ever looking to do some good but make not a lot of money,
our ranks are always open to those who have trouble following orders.
Look, I have trouble following orders,
but what I'm saying is I'm happy to assist you in any way, shape, or form.
However, don't expect me to bend the knee to the old, you know,
I might have done it before, not my cup of tea.
It's okay.
If you have any maps, I'd appreciate having a look at them.
You do have a map of everywhere that you've been.
And also Lady Ware, your patron back in Port Nyanzaru, who's paying for everything.
She produced a map that you've been using as well.
So if you see the big map in the middle of the board,
that is an actual map that you guys have.
And that is maybe one of the most complete maps
that has ever been made of Chult.
Do I have a replica of that?
You don't have a replica,
but if you show it to her, she can make a copy.
I show it to her and I just make notes
of the Mandarin River as well.
She notes down the Mandarin River, sure.
She doesn't care.
It's starting.
That's so good.
And now I want to ask Bill Waddle
what Bill Waddle's plans are post-siege.
Bill Waddle's still working for the fort.
Bill Waddle is a close friend of Breakbone, actually.
Well, all right.
Then that scuppers that plan, so don't worry.
Sorry.
It's okay.
You are unable to recruit anyone from the fort.
Oh, no, I wasn't going to try the lieutenant,
but I thought I might be able to get one of the tribe's people.
Yeah.
There's a bunch of them.
You could grab one of the other ones if you wanted to.
The one I wanted died.
Okay.
If you want, you could go back to Port Nyanzaru
and find another guide.
No, no, no, we're okay.
We've got plenty of people.
I just wanted Zepedo.
And he died.
Unfortunately. So I guess we're heading back to Port Nyanzaru. You good, Horns? I'm better. I just wanted Zepeto. And he died. Unfortunately.
So I guess we're heading back to Port Nizar.
You good, Horns?
I'm better.
Oh, that's all right.
Travelling with the supply convoy, you encounter no issues getting back.
It's smooth sailing.
You're in such a large group that no one would dare attack.
Pause.
Before we leave, how does Vaughn come with us?
Vaughn can just run along the side.
He doesn't need to sleep, drink, or eat.
He can just keep going.
I'm going to ask Vaughn to, when we get close to Port Nye and Zaru,
to hide himself in the jungle.
It only sounds like that when you're above water
When you're underwater it sounds fine
Harry Potter style
Absolutely
Do you know what I do?
When I'm underwater I go
Vaughn Oldsport if you could be a wonderful help
When we arrive at Port Nyan Zarru
Make yourself scarce until such a time that I require your assistance.
I do not want people
who do not have the best intentions
for you at heart getting their
grubby, grubby, grubby, grubby,
grubby mitts on you.
There are five words for grubby in Aquan.
How ironic.
They're so clean.
Then I come out of the water again.
Will Tiffany ever learn how much Pop cares for her?
Will Pop ever admit how much he cares for Tiffany?
Will artist Simba find his true love?
Can Flask of Wine learn to live without his nose?
And will any of our parties survive the jungles of Chult?
Find out next season on Once Upon a Time in Zombie Pl of Chult. Find out next season on Once Upon a Time
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