D&D is For Nerds - Zombie Plagued Chult II #16 Temple of the Kamadan

Episode Date: May 30, 2020

Grab your tickets to our Live Plumbing Boys Play/Ruin D&D stream and VOD here!Sign up to our newsletter here. Join our facebook group here.You can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073.Want to help support the show?Sanspants+ | Podkeep | USB Tapes | MerchWant to get in contact with us?Email | Twitter | Website | Facebook | RedditOr individually at;Adam | Cass | Tom | Jackson | ZammitTheme music by the wonderfully talented Mia (AtomicCupcakes). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sanspence Radio. so-called friend Adam Carnivale. We've played through the Yawning Portal as a Sandspans Plus exclusive, and while D&D maybe beat us on most occasions, this one we're feeling very lucky about. So come and watch to see if we make it out of Adam's world alive, if we in fact save the day like the little princes we are, and if Dungeons & Dragons gets played or ruined. Find out what will happen in this incredible four-part series. Tickets are available over at Stupid Old Studios at SOSPresents.com. We'll be streaming every Saturday from midday Australian Eastern Standard Time from the 20th of June to the 11th of July.

Watch live or on demand, and if you grab the season pass, you'll get access to all four live shows for the price of three. Once again, that's SOSPresents.com or check the show notes. Welcome to Season 2, Episode 16 of Zombie Plagued Cholt, that which occurred later than now before. All right, so Dragonbait and I are going to go for the other two Malison. Yep. Before I do that, I'm going to cast Gift of Protection on myself

with my little once a week no damage for one round. Into the head of the Malison. You hear a crack and the Malison stumbles backwards. Quasha falls to his knees and then falls forward into the muck. Quasha is dead. Wait, really? Yes. Atop the plinth is a soft, velvety red cushion, and upon the cushion is this.

A movable rod. You know that somewhere here in Oumu is the home base of the Yaunti and Raznazi, who is where the Soulmonger is. So the soulmonger's here. The soulmonger's here in Omen. This is the, I assume, the shrine of Shigambi? Yes, Shigambi the Kamadan, yes. Now, I know you said on the way back,

but something tells me that the shrines are important to this space. They both not, they seem tense. You don't think that they're going to do anything unnecessarily deep. This is mostly aimed at Flask. You've seen a shrine to the god Shigambi. As you approach, nothing immediately happens. Oh, good. So you now immediately get a better look at the inscription beneath the mural,

immediately get a better look at the inscription beneath the mural and orvex just maybe casually says it's it's just the the the part of the story pertaining to this god so that that little part of the story that he's read already read to you that's uh i don't know further reinforcing it maybe it's something to do with what we're doing here. Like I said, you can see stairs going down past the mural as well and barred, but you could maybe fit through the bars if you wanted to. There's some sort of gladiatorial pit beneath you. Does it look like there are weapons in there? There does not appear to be any weapons in the pit. You can see it pretty well.

You can see that there's two entrances slash exits to the pit, but you can tell that there are no weaponsances slash exits to the pet but you can tell that there are no weapons in the pit it looks just empty could we work out that the stairs probably go down into the pit it seems logical yes okay once you get close enough to the pedestal it's a four foot high stone cylinder once you get close enough you an inspection reveals that there is a stone hatch on top of it. Open. Open with rapier. As you do that, you hear a clicking sound.

Dark eye dark. You turn. The first thing you do is you turn to the giant mural of the Kamadan and the Grung. And you can see now that it is perforated with tiny holes all around it. Gas floods the entire room. Fuck me. Horns, I told you not to touch anything.

It looked like it should be touched. You are going to need to make constitution-saving throws. Gahoy. Gahoy. Gahool. That is... Guardians of. Constitution saving throws. Gohoy. Gohoy. Gohoy. That is. Guardians of. That is a failure from Pop.

Is it? What if I add a D6 after making a savings throw? You can do that. Yeah. Hey. God, so many good boy cards. Still a failure. What if I add a D10 to a saint?

Now it's a pass. How bad did I roll? You rolled pretty poorly, but it's also tough. Tiffany, I think you're also going to fail. Yeah, Tiffany, you fail as well. Pop, you take 15 points of damage, which you cannot share with your shield guardian. No, because there's no one near me.

Too far away, yep. Tiffany, you take 31 points of damage. Oh, boy. Woof, in the word of every dog I've ever met, woof. Tiffany, you will have the poisoned condition for one hour or until someone heals you. The poison condition imposes you disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks. Huh.

Everyone in the room starts coughing. The gas quickly fades away. All right. Just again, do not touch anything that looks like it should be touched. Is there anything in there? Anything in? Oh, no, you've failed to open it. Oh.

You jam your rapier in and begin trying to work at it, but as soon as you do that, you hear that clicking sound. Spear. We need a spear. That's what I said. It would appear we need four spears. That's what I said. But no one's listening to me.

All right, rapier into a trap. Let's go. Are we walking downstairs? Yep. Good. I think Artis, Flask, and Dragonbite should stay in the room. In this upper room? Yes.

All right. With the pedestal and such? Yep. Maybe. Okay. We just might need their help. The three of us. East Beast language.

They'll be right above where we are. Okay. Just in case something weird happens in here, they can tell us. Okay. Well, I figure the downstairs area should lead to that pit, so we should be able to hear each other or just jump in and we'll shout up. Sure. And what aren't we going to do?

Touch things. Good work. It kills good work it kills me that kills me i'm like oh my god we're not gonna go exploring ruins you're gonna ruin everything i have poisoned everyone you start walking down the stairs and around through that cobble webbed corridor out into the gladiatorial pit beneath you. Who's first? Pop? All right, yeah, you definitely weigh more than 50 pounds. As soon as you step out into the gladiatorial pit,

you hear a clicking sound as the entire floor shifts down slightly. Fuck. Clearly you are on a weighted trap. A portcullis closes behind you blocking you off from whoever was directly behind you was it you tiffany yeah if you want i'll let you make a dexterity saving throw to get on the other side of the portcullis with pop or you can stay where you are it's up to you if you want to stay with pop i just got 30 hit points taken off i think i'll stay here can the guys upstairs see this because they're looking in from-

Yeah, they can look down and see what's happening. Yeah, like you're with people, you know. Also, I like being on my own. As soon as that happens, I run upstairs. Like I run straight back around. Well, we'll go to initiative because when that happens, Pop, beyond you at the other exit to this gladiatorial pit, you hear ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Gladiatorial pit. Yeah, you know, I probably should have seen this one coming. Maybe they'll have spears.

You have to beat four warriors, get their spears, pop them in the thing. I'm a one man. Well, we're all, it's just bars. People can drop down, yeah. Yeah, I'll shoot. No, shoot down. A dragon bait. He's a little fella.

Tiffany, who would you like to act with? Artis. Pop, who are you acting with? Dragonbite. Tiffany, you're sprinting back up the stairs. What do you want to yell for Otis to do while you're doing that? Help him! Otis Simber unlumbers his bow and arrow,

knocks an arrow, but he can't do anything just yet. Pop. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Turning around the corner is a statue made of hard clay. The statue has a definite omen look to it. It looks less like an accurate representation of a human and more like an impression of a human. Is it carrying a spear

adam in one hand it has a spear a long brass spear in the other hand it is holding a clay shield the brass spear looks important but the shield does not with quick short footfalls, it enters the arena. It lowers the spear and charges at you, moving with mechanical, like, really precise movements. Like, it moves only how it has to. Like a clockwork thing. Yeah, like something made out of clockwork machinery. It attacks three times. Fuck.

It's bad. Found the spears. Miss critical hit its first attack as it charges forwards you're tense anticipating the blow so you step backwards and it can't strike far out enough but then as it pulls its spear back, it takes a step forward, nearly battering you with its shield, and then it brings its spear out a second time. The second time, it spears you directly in the guts. Oh, that's going to sting tomorrow. Also now. You take 18 points of damage, Pop, as it spears you in the belly.

Then on its final attack, that critical hit. Skewered, you take a D4 damage at the beginning of your turn for the next two turns. So it deals minimum damage, six points of damage, as it twists the spear in your belly, but you feel it nick an artery, and you begin bleeding profusely. Fucking hell. It has destroyed your guts. That belongs inside my body, not on the outside.

It's Flask of Wine's turn. Flask of Wine fires down at it. He will get advantage because of that. He has a very advantageous position to fire. His first attack is a hit. His second attack is also a hit. He will deal

16. He deals 21 points of damage with two arrows striking in either of its shoulders. Then it is Pop and Dragonbait's turn. Let's fucking do this, Dats. I would like to... Dragonbait obviously jumped down and helped. When Dragonbait lands next to you and next to the clay warrior,

you feel the floor click down a few more inches and you hear down that corridor something else open up and boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Oh, you crafty son of a bitch. Well, then I would like to use Zephyr Strike and attack this clay motherfucker, and I'll get Dragonbait to do the same. All four of your attacks are hits.

You'll deal an extra D8 points of damage on the first attack. You begin tearing the clay golem apart piece by piece. Can I focus on the hand holding the spear? You could try to. To make him like let go or like as part of these attacks? You can always give it a red hot go. That's much. Nobody else jump down.

You learned your lesson. You deal 34 points of damage to it. Hey. He's good. I mean, sad that you didn't go down but you know could be worse i could be bleeding today never mind you slash with your cement and not your scimitar why do i keep calling it a scimitar you slash with your sickle you hammer with the hammer sickle hammer again you start breaking apart its right arm the arm it's using to hold the spear and you see that the middle of the joint

the elbow completely caves away you've completely destroyed the middle part of the arm but then the spear whips around and knocks your sickle to the side. There is a gap in between its arm from where its arm begins to where its arm ends. But the parts of the arm that are there act as if nothing has happened. Fuck you. You clay motherfucker. And then dragon bait also unleashes upon it. On the arm.

Or just try to get the spear out of its hand. Dragonbait, dear. First attack, I think, will be a miss. Oh, no. Dragonbait hits with both attacks. Dragonbait has a very high attack bonus. Good boy. So I thought going to all these shrines would be helpful,

but I think it's just going to be awful. Definitely going in more shrines if we walk past them. Dragon bait deals 29 more points of damage to it. Dragon bait completely powderizes one of its legs. One of its legs is gone, destroyed, but the clay golem continues to act, move about, and put its one remaining foot down as if it has two feet. Do any of us know how golems work in game?

Tiffany. I don't even know how they work out game. Are these the golems where you put a little message? I get a bad boy card, and no, neither of you know how golems work. Tiffany and Artis. Artis now has a shot, so he opens up on that that uh clay golem that'll be a miss and two hits nine points of damage tiffany what would you like to do i would like to um shift the the pit itself doesn't look too wide so what i'd like to do is try and position myself

so that i can cast agonizar'sorcher and only hit the golems. Sure. So the second golem hasn't arrived here yet, just to let you know. Well, in that case, does Earth Tremor's 10 foot, how big? Could I just Earth Tremor? Earth Tremor you can do on just the thing. I would love to do that and sort of aim it near the entrance. First level or second level first you cast you cast your hand over the grate and you feel the

magical weave beneath the clay golem shift you grab it and pull causing it to to explode violently upwards. The clay golem fails its saving throw. It'll take a d6 and be knocked prone. It takes two points of damage and is now on the ground. That was Tiffany and Artis' turn. It's the clay golem's turn. That's on the ground. It's back to the earth now where it was born. Clay Golem stands up, but that's going to be its turn.

A second Clay Golem marches out of that corridor, but the area affected by the earth tremor spell is now considered difficult terrain, and so the Clay Golem can only get to your friends. It can't attack this turn because it needs to try and navigate around all the cracked earth you've made. Flask of Wine. This is one of nine and we're only halfway through getting all of the enemies.

Flask of Wine hits, dealing 10 points of damage. Do we feel that we have to go to all nine? We probably don't. Don't we? Like, genuinely. We're here for the Soulmonger. Yeah, but, like, maybe to get to Rastna-Z we have to go to each. Why would we have a map with all nine temples on it?

That was Flosk of Wine's turn. It's Pop and Dragonbait's turn. What would you like to do? Try to take the spear out of its hand. Oh, you just want to wrestle the spear from it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. I'll get Dragonbait to fight it, but I want to spear.

Spear it. Spear it, spear it. You grab the spear, but when you do that, as you pull, you pull as hard as you can, but the clay golem slams you with its shield. You take eight points of damage, and you've got to make a saving throw or be knocked prone from it battering you with its shield. Fucking hell.

You need to make a strength saving throw. You are going to fail. Can we get out of the pit? You could try to climb out if you wanted to, or you could try to force the portcullis behind you open. I'm on the ground. I'm just thinking of things. His first attack hits But his second attack

Dragonbait's second attack Is a hit So maybe the first attack He swings And his sword Passes through a hole That he's made in the body Of the creature

But he turns it around And deals seven points of damage I'm on the ground That seven points of damage Destroys the clay golem it falls forwards and shatters into a thousand pieces Pop you don't know this

Tiffany you do notice this as the clay golem shatters the pieces get smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller until they disappear and you can tell that the clay golem has actually magically dissipated the brass spear remains. Throw it up.

That was Pop and Dragonbait's turn. I'm on my back. Then Tiffany and Artus. So there's still one golem left? Yeah. I'm going to use Witch Bolt on that golem. You bathe the creature, the clay golem, in electricity. Did you cast it as a first level spell?

Yeah. Two points of damage. This damn spell ruining my damn life. What would you like Artus to do? Artus, just keep plugging in with the arrows. Artus does so. His first attack is a miss. He only hits once this turn.

He got a couple of shit rolls, but he does max damage. So he deals 12 points of damage, shooting it directly in its head. The arrow plunges down. Oh, wait, I should have been rolling advantage. Advantage? Yeah. He's got a nice vantage point too. Artist's attack was a critical hit.

Deep wound. Make a DC 14 constitution saving throw. It fails. Take an additional D6 piercing damage. The clay golem attacks at dragon bait. Dragon bait does a decent job of fending it off, but dragon bait takes two deep spear wounds then it is flask's turn flask continues to fire downwards hissing while he does

it no good no good there are no trees here i said there were no treesrees here. I said there were no threes. That's bad luck. Bad luck. No threes. He hits twice. God damn. I love that an aside joke has become integral to his character. He deals 12 points of damage. And Poppin' Dragon Mate, what would you like to do? You're on the floor. You can use half of your movement to get up.

Can I, from the ground, lift the spear up through the bars? Oh, you, uh, the spear that's here, you want to chuck it upwards? Yep. Yeah, you can do that. I'll do that. I'd say it's pretty easy. Yeah, you're fine. You grab it, you roll, as you roll, you grab it and you throw it upwards, you arc it so that it lands outside of the, uh...

Yeah, no, I just do it straight up. Right down into my head. You arc it so that it lands next to Tiffany, we'll say. Tiffany the spear is right next to you. I just remembered that from the last fight I have a horrific scar down the middle of my- Oh, my God. I forgot that as well.

I would love to- Look, I'm no artiste. I would love to see a before and after. Our characters. I mean, I looked pretty fucked before. Would you like Dragonbait to fight back, I guess? Yeah, yeah, I would. I would love to see a before and after. Our characters. I mean, I looked pretty fucked before. Would you like Dragon Bait to fight back, I guess? Yeah, I would. I would.

Dragon Bait continues to fight. He lands two good hits. He's getting his licks back in. He deals 21 points of damage. Tiffany and Artis. I would like to... There's still only one in there, isn't there? Yep, there's still one left. There's still only one in there, isn't there? Yep, there's still one left.

There's also a spear. Only all of them. I jump in. Fuck, get a good boy card. Fuck yes. The floor goes down another inch and you hear down that corridor again. goes down another inch, and you hear down that corridor again, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch undignified as you struggle to unroll from a backed turtle position that you are. Hey, I'll just gracefully throw a spear through a gap.

Phenomenal. But no, I can't get up. Hey, it came back as me. Tiffany, you can attack if you want. Yes, I would love to jump behind the clay golem that is attacking dragon bait and use green flame blade. You do so. You strike it in the back, hitting it and dealing quite a bit of damage.

Which bolt goes in the bin now? You deal 30 points of damage. Oh, Jesus. Suck it. Another clay golem marches out. Another clay golem marches out. This time, because, Tiffany, you are here, it can reach you and attack you.

I remember when you lost 30 hit points earlier. Well, let's do that again. Oh, no, that sounds bad. All right, it hits you twice, Tiffany. This is going to hurt. Nance would have been better 28 points of damage Sounds bad, Adam Then the other one attacks Dragonbait

It deals two hits to Dragonbait Dealing 23 points of damage to Dragonbait Dragonbait takes another deep wound in his gut as this clay golem is slowly bang pushing with its shield stabbing in his gut bang pushing him back with a shield stabbing in his gut it's slowly forcing dragon bait backwards with deep gut wounds dragon bait looks like his chest has been riddled with holes. Like someone's getting ready

to plant seeds or something. No wait, you do that after you plant seeds. Tilling the ground? What is it? Don't you till for... You just throw the seeds on the ground and then you stab the holes and hope they fall in. There's like a thing called aerating the ground.

Yep, they do it at my work. There's like a thing called aerating the ground. Yep, they do it at my work. Yeah, where you like put holes in it to help the seeds grow. They drive a tractor and it's got like teeth at the back and the teeth go na-na-na-na-na-na. Or you just host a party with a lot of race goers. Everyone just has to wear stilettos. They wear stilettos and they're poking the holes in the ground and they till the soil

and they love it when you make jokes like that oh no what's happened flask of wine till the soil it's she's a very famous actress shut up flask of wine deals with two arrows deals 12 points of damage in the first attack and then the second attack is a critical hit oh so when you saw it gasped it was with with the light for us with gusto pinned the attack pins uh your arm to a wall another target or your own body. Make a DC 12 strength check to free your arm, taking a D4 damage with each failed attempt. So he deals a further nine points of damage in addition to the 12 he dealt just before.

And we'll say the spear arm is pinned to the wall next to it. That clay golem cannot fight with that spear anymore until it frees itself. Good boy. Pop and dragon bait. Well, Adam, I'd like to get off the ground. Alright, you get up.

Can I try and take the spear as well? You can try to take the spear, sure. The one that's like the guy's pin of the wall. I'm going to try to jimmy the spear out of his hand. I know you'll probably have to kill him, but maybe. You take the spear? Sure. The one that's like the guy's pin in the wall. I'm going to try to jimmy the spear out of his hand. Like, I know you probably have to kill them, but maybe. You grab the spear and twist. The arm snap, crackles, and pops. And then you Coco Puffs your way into getting the spear. That's why they call me Pop Mandarin.

Flask of wine looks down and says, Wit Bix. I call him a Froot Loop. A moment of exultation, of joy, with the brass spear. And then the spear vanishes from your hand and appears once more in the hands of the Clay Golem. Oh, boo. Just so you know, Clay Golem, I hate you so much,

and I hate a lot of people. Dragon Bait. That's amazing. I hate you, point one. You're not special, point two. Dragon Bait crumples the head of the golem against the wall with his sword, destroying it. The Clay Golem collapses forwards, once again turning into nothing, into dust, into nothing.

The spear remains. Then it is... All right, you can't take the spears out unless they're dead. I've tried twice. We all saw. Tiffany and Artis. Tiffany, you're the only one facing off against this clay golem. It's not good for you.

If I run away, will it get an attack of op? How far away do you want to get? I want to be i run away will it get an attack of op how far away do you want to get i want to be so far away that it can't get me as your bonus action you can take the disengage action and you can move up to 30 feet your movement speed away from it without taking an attack of opportunity the answer is yes so i can attack it and run yep i would like to uh you can't cast green flame blade if you do that That's alright Also you can't get your sneak attack because you're not fighting with a friend right now I mean we've spent some time together

So I would have thought we'd be friends but that's fine I shank him and leg it Your attack is a hit You deal 11 points of damage Not gonna sneeze at Better than a 2 And then you hightail it out of it That's the sound of me leaving at speed.

Do you want artists to just keep firing down? I would love if artists could just keep firing down. Artist hits twice, dealing 22 points of damage. It's their turn. The clay golem charges you, Tiffany. It moves past pop and dragon bait. Both of you get an attack of opportunity. Oh, my God.

Oh, baby. Please. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Dragon Bait is going to miss, but Pop, you hit, dealing eight points of damage as it passes you. But the clay golem arrives at you, Tiffany. Hit. Hit. Can you still use your luck, or is that all done?

Is there any more luck for little old Teef to use? Luck checks only work on you. And if it's a hit, then I want to do Hellish Rebuke as well. Alright, the second attack will be a miss, and then the third attack is also a hit. Ouch! Ouch! will be a miss. And then the third attack is also a hit.

Ouch! Ouch! I thought that was the fire coming out. Tiffany, you take six points of damage. Is that all you got? I hope. And then it needs to make a dexterity saving throw. It fails. Fire and flames wreath the creature

a tautology bursts from Tiffany's body I don't know what the word tautology means but I have to assume I'm being mocked always Tiffany you take 12 points of damage again?

yeah his second attack he spears you in the belly after the flames have released him. Then it is Flosk's turn. Get away from her, you fucking thing! Things don't kill people, I kill people! Oh!

I love Flosk! I love Flosk! Flosk of Wine deals 19 points of damage. And now a word from our sponsors. Hey, D&D is for nerds is great, but if you wish we had a little more time to go on our weird tangents between roles, then good news. Our podcast Shut Up a Second is literally all weird tangents.

Go to sanspantsradio.com, search Shut Up a Second, and let us lead you from the world of linear thought into a deep pit of chaos. We'll see you there. Pop and Dragon Mate, what would you like to do? I'm going to fucking kill this golem. All right. I'm going to Zephyr Strike the back of its head.

You bring your sickle into the clay golem's back and twist, jerking it around for Dragon Bait to get a hit in. But it launches backwards and plants both of its feet against dragon bait kicking him away you bring your hammer down on the back of its head and dragon bait charges forwards with his sword lowered the clay golem twists around exposing your side and dragon bait's sword slides in between the two of you. You bring your sickle out and slam it again in the Clay Golem's neck and the Clay Golem jerks around, forcing Dragonbait to lower his sword

or cut you in half. I look at Dragonbait and just say, and this is why I have trust issues. Tiffany and Artis, what would you like to do? I would like to get gone. You can't. You're kind of pinned in a corner right now. I would like to. Oh, actually, no, I think he's still going.

Yeah, you could try to disengage still if you wanted to. I would like to stab and. Stab and run? Stab and avoid the slab, as it were. You hit. Stab and run? Stab and avoid the slab, as it were. You hit. Stab and slab. Stab and slab. This time you get your sneak attack because you're fighting next to friends.

You deal 18 points of damage. That sounds promising. You drive your scimitar into the center of the- My what? Why do you think everyone has a scimitar, Adam? You drive your rapier into the center of the clay My what? Why do you think everyone has a scimitar, Adam? You drive your rapier into the center of the clay golem. Thank you. And when you do so, you strike some integral part of the magic that keeps it together.

The clay golem explodes. I stabbed him in the magic? Yeah. The power right in the magic. The spear clatters to the ground and the exit opens. We got one more. I have to leave. You go.

I pick up all the remaining spears. Before you go, I want to do third level cure wounds. Okie dokie. Third level cure wounds. Could that potentially heal me a fair chunk? You recover nine hit points. Is there a chance it could, like if I got the max, would it be substantially more than that?

Yes. Well, I would like to receive the maximum amount of healing, please. Spend that card. You recover 27 hit points. Oh, my God. I was like, you recover 27 hit points oh my god i was like you're gonna be like you recover 11 hit points hey to a man who has nine 11s a lot when you get back up to the top flask of wine takes out that little jar that he got from that person stuffed into the tree

and he smears some of the ointment onto you. You recover another 11 hit points. Simba style? Yeah. He smears it over your forehead. Dragon bait. With one hand, he's like covering his gut. He's still bleeding. Third level cure wounds dragon bait.

Flask, do you reckon you could climb up that wall? I point into the pit. Yes. Everyone out. Everyone out of the pit flask if you jump in and climb straight back out we can just plug them with arrows this is true we don't have to risk anyone getting any more hurt i mean dragon bait did you want to stand up there and plug it with arrows or do you want to have a good scrap dragon bait shrugs he's kind of good for whatever i guess yeah i'm not fucking no dragon bait shrugs but He's kind of good for whatever, I guess. I don't fucking know.

Dragonbait shrugs, but then gestures to his backpack, which does have a conspicuous absence of ranged weaponry. Alright. Flask, do you want to jump down and climb back up? Alright. Everyone get your weapons ready. Where's everyone? So, Dragonbait and I

are still in the pit. Okay. Alright. You've gone back up. Everyone else is on top are still in the pit. Okay. All right. You've gone back up. Everyone else is on top looking into the pit. Floss climbs down into the pit, takes a pour off, like on the wall, takes a pour off and pushes down on the floor. He needs to put a lot of weight. He needs to basically let go before it happens.

But eventually you do feel the floor shift another inch down and then a gate opens before you and the gate behind you snaps shut flask of wine scrambles to get out and tiffany and artist i'll assume you hold your action until the clay golem comes out. The clay golem comes out. And before he comes out, I turn a dragon bait, and I say two gold I get before you do. Dragon bait nods.

Tiffany, Artis, what would you like to do? I'm going to use agonist scorcher. All right. It passes. It takes half damage. Can it not? I'm sorry, but no. I've got a cannot boy card.

It takes six points of damage. Oh, boo. That was a big spell for me. As you bathe it in fire. Then Ardus fires down at it. Oh, my God. It's clay. I only made it stronger.

You, like, hardened it. You made it a kiln. Ardus Simba deals 28 points of damage. Ardus Simba firing downwards peppers the clay golem with arrows. The clay golem, when it's in the pit with you, turns around so that it's facing the wall where Flask of Wine is at the top, and then it bends down and did one smooth move. It leaps all the way up and lands outside of the pit up where you are.

Motherfucker. It attacks Flask of Wine. It goes for whoever set off the fucking. We should have known that because that's what it did with you. I should have just let Dragon Mate stay. I walked out and walked back in again. That would have been... I didn't think of that.

Castle really... This isn't Pop and Tiffany. This is you and me. And we are dumb as shit. Gosh. Of course, it's a battle of it. Flask has to get in. Flask of Wine takes 31 points of damage.

Oh, my God. Flask. Flask of Wine turns around as the Clay Golem lands behind him. What? He says. The Clay Golem slashes at his face, cutting his nose in half. No. Then it kicks low.

You hear Flask of Wine's legs snap the wrong way are you gonna kill our friend then it lowers its spear and stabs flask of wine straight through the chest tiffany you are close enough to hear the air leave flask of wine as the spear retracts flask of wine's lungs have been punctured and then it is flask of wine's turn he falls backwards hits the wall and slides down it he lies in a puddle of blood pop and dragon bait you are trapped downstairs fuck me can i Fuck me Can I Can I Can I use rope trick You got rid of rope trick No I wasn't allowed to And you know what

You can use rope trick That is absolutely The way rope trick Is meant to be used Adam I'd like to use rope trick for the first and only time and get dragon bait and i out of the pit you touch a length of rope that is up to 60 feet long one end of the rope then rises into the air until the whole rope hangs perpendicular to the ground you can climb up that rope to get out you You would not be able to do it otherwise.

Adam, I'm going to... I can't help. Oh, rope trick. Remember when I tried to get rid of it? Yeah. Oh, man. You spend your entire action leaving, however. That's okay.

And I assume dragon bait. Dragon bait can attack, actually. Sick him. He didn't need to cast a spell to get out. Dragon bait slices, dices, and wines and dines the creature, dealing 11 points of damage. It has a lovely time, and they have a second date that doesn't go as well. Aw.

Yeah. Then it is Tiffany and Artis' turn. He's on the other side, isn't he? You could get there this turn. That's fine. And attack. I would like to go around and You could get there this turn. That's fine. And attack. I would like to go around and green flame blade. All right.

You do so. You stab it, nearly getting a critical hit. And with dragon bait and pop there, you will get sneak attack damage. You deal 32 points of damage. Up there, you will get sneak attack damage. You deal 32 points of damage. Oh, that's so sad. Dabbing it in its leg, twisting, turning, and breaking the magic there.

It actually now walks with a limp. You have broken not the clay, but the magic. Let's dab him in the magic. What would you like artists to do? Artists, please help. You can make a wall of ice. Between him and Flask? You can put Flask in ice. And will they take damage from the ice?

No. They'll just be in the ice. And the golem would have to chip through the ice to get to Flask. And it would stop the bleeding. Or would it stop the bleeding? Flask of wine isn't an immediate danger from bleeding out right now. So encasing Flask of wine in ice would not do any damage. It's not like encasing him.

He's not like frozen in a block. It's like a ball appears around you. Okay, yeah. Okay. You're like in a bubble. Put him in ice. With a wave of his hand, a ball of ice quickly forms around flask of wine, freezing solid instantly.

Flask of wine is protected within the ball but you don't know for how long then it is the creature's turn it starts attacking maiming at the ice it hits all three times that is lucky flask could be dead and i'd be sad. Flask of wine is safe for one turn, but one turn only. After a single turn of attacking, the ice is destroyed and flask of wine is exposed again. But that was the creature's turn. It's flask of wine's turn. When the ice exploded, the frosted ice you couldn't see through. So flask of wine was obscured from you.

When it explodes, you see like a hole in it. In the hole, Flask of Wine is nestled safely with a bow and arrow in his hand. As soon as the ice breaks, he lets loose. It's kind of fucking great, old Flask. I love Flask of Wine. Remember when he couldn't talk and now he's the hero of our lives? He just used to repeat what his sister said. What his sister said.

Flask of Wine's attack is semi, it's quite feeble, though. He only deals eight points of damage. It's the last death throws of someone in a lot of trouble. Pop and Dragonbait, you are both near this. Let's go. Zephyr, strike, strike, baby. And Dragonbait, do your thing. Dragonbait does his thing.

You deal an extra D8 damage on the first hit. You deal 10, 14, 18 points of damage. And then Dragonbait in for the finisher dragon bait hit oh no critical miss yep dragon bait's first attack deals 13 points of damage oh he doesn't have the second attack to miss he destroys it in his first attack. Dragonbait destroys the clay golem. It shatters into a thousand pieces. But this time you conspicuously do not hear the brass spear clatter to the ground. It's nowhere to be seen. Is it in the pit?

You don't see it in the pit. You still have the three that you collected last time, but you don't have this one. Well, let's all flock to flask and see what we can do. Flask of wine starts applying the ointment to himself. I give Dragon Bait two bucks. Hey, Dragon Bait. Yeah? He doesn't say yeah.

You want to go again? Dragonbait nods. All right. I'm going to go in the pit. You jump down when I say so. We've got to get the spear off the thing while it's in the pit or it doesn't count because we have to fight with honour. Good boy card.

Yeah. It fucking annoyed me. I worked it out too. I was thinking that the person who summoned it had to kill them. No, because dragon baits killed all of them. Yes. Oh, my God. All right.

All right. You hop into the pit. I drop back down into the pit. Now that everyone had left, the pit had returned to its original height. You drop, the pit goes down an inch and you see the it shuts behind you, one opens

before you. I crack my neck, spin my hammer and my sickle, and get Dragonbane to jump in with me. Alright, so I'm going to go with a new initiative for this one, because I feel like I might as well. Because this is the start of a new initiative for this one. Yep. Because I feel like I might as well. Because it's the start of a new fight.

Zephyr. Zephyr. Four attack, baby. Baby. Don't have to use rope trick. Is the rope trick still there? Yeah. It just lasts for an hour.

You don't need to be concentrating on it. You can do anything else you want. So say we leave and like some yawn tea are tracking us and they look into the temple and there's just a rope in the middle of the room and they don't know why. You can dismiss it if you want. No, no.

Fucking leave it there. All right. Send a message. Get it. Arrange it. Dispel. Hiss off. Pop and Dragonbait, you're first.

Yeah. Zephyr Strike. Let's pummel this boy. You begin the pummeling. First attack, miss. Two hits, two misses. You deal 15, 19, 26 points of damage. You open up on the Clay Golem,

and you deal a dizzying series of blows against it. You crumble parts of it, crack other parts, and force the Clay Golem almost immediately on the backward step. Then Dragonbait barrels in. Dragonbait misses, but then hits. He deals eight points of damage. And it hits you twice. I should have timed it so Dragonbait and I both hit the thing at the same time.

One, two, three. Confuse it. It's like, doesn't know how to attack. Just stabs itself. Pop, you take 26 points of damage. Oh, boy. It's more than 10. With the back end of its spear, it kicks out at one of your legs,

and you hear a crack. Your leg doesn't shift much, but you feel your bone break. Then it brings the spear down and slashes your chest. Is that my good leg or my bad leg, Adam? I'd say that's your bad leg. Wait, do you have good legs anymore? No, I do. I have a really bad leg

and an okay leg because my whole body is fucked. Ah, yes. Tiffany and Artis. Artis will be firing bow into thing, and I will be... I'll have another go at the Agonizar's Scorcher.

Alright. He hits twice. You deal 14 points of fire damage as you bathe it in flames. And Artus deals 8, 10, 13 points of damage, firing down into it. I just need to get this done.

Artus's arrows are completely consumed by your flame, but parts of it, parts of his arrows still strike the target. You have really done a number on this creature, but it does not seem to care. Then it is Flask of Wine's turn. Flask of Wine fires down into it. He hits and

hits twice. It's starting to slow down now. After Flask of Wine's attacks, it's just riddled with arrows right now. Then it is Poppin' Dragonbait's turn. Let's go again. You...

Oh, no. Critical miss. That was Dragonbait. I'm so sorry. You're just sad you're losing the bet. It's cost me more gold than I've spent in this entire fucking campaign is these little two gold bets with Dragonbait. Butter grip on you you lose your grip mid-swing and your weapon flies flies 25 feet away in the direction of your target make a ranged attack

roll against the nearest creature other than target in that direction no creatures in that direction you accidentally lose grip of your sickle it flies over the clay golem's head and embeds itself in the wall behind the clay golem i'm having a bad day dragon bite don't you dare dragon bait doesn't say or do anything but you smell um did the hammer attack still work though? The hammer will be a Miss And your final attack I guess with the hammer will be a hit Rude

You smell Tar Victory Or celebration You deal six points of damage in total. You know what? If you stabbed me and I died right now, that'd be fair enough. Dragon bait's turn.

Fuck, I hope he gets a critical miss and he loses his sword. Miss and a hit. And then it's its turn. Critical hit, hit, miss. I'm going to spend one of my bad boy cards to make that last miss a hit. Cruel. Cruel and unusual. That's the way I like it.

That's how I like my DMs. Staunch the pleading. Triple damage and you have disadvantage on strength, dexterity, and constitution-based rolls for a D6 round. That might not matter. This is pretty bad for you, buddy. You take 30 points of damage. I've been healing everybody that I forgot that I got very badly hurt and have been bleeding.

Oh, my goodness. This is like the first non-selfish thing you've done, and it might kill you. That's why one of my rules is no sacrifices. Fuck. The first time I've been, like, kind. You are downed. The last thing you see is the clay golem levelling its spear

directly between your eyes. Tiffany, from above, you see him get speared straight through the eyes. The creature drags it out, and as he falls down, it uses its last attack to whip around and slash open his chest. You have one failed saving throw because of that. Fucking hell. It does not stop because you are downed. It is going to try to outright kill you.

Cheek. And then it is Tiffany and Artis' turn. What is Artis' most damaging move? He can do up to 10d6 damage. Cool. I would like him to attack the golem with that please

the golem fails its saving throw and is going to take 31 points of damage that's enough it's destroyed it shatters and the spear clatters to the ground t Tiffany, you still have your full action. Don't jump in. Oh, God. Oh, God, how do we get you out? Dragon bait, drag him out. Throw the spear up. Dragon bait, drag him out. Dragon bait, dragon bait, turn around.

What are you doing, Tiffany? I'm going to yell at dragon bait to throw the spear up and then to drag Pop to the other side of the door. When it's destroyed, the portcullis opens so Dragonbait can go up the stairs. People can go down the stairs if they wish as well. Yeah, I would like Dragonbait to drag Pop to the other side of the door

and then we will meet them there. All right. So you start heading down the stairs. Flask of Wines turn. Flask of Wine. No one jump in. Flask of Wine's turn. Flask of Wine... No one jump in! Flask of Wine pauses mid-hot. No, he did. Flask of Wine climbs on the side

of the walls, but doesn't go down onto the floor. Flask, get out. Flask? I will be careful. It's Pop and Dragonbait's turn. Dragonbait was going to reach for the spear, but instead Flask of Wine gently lifts himself off the wall. Don't you...

Grabs the spear and takes it off. Like a scene out of a spy movie. Nothing happens. Oh! Flask of wine looks at Dragonbait and says, stabilize him. I will hold them off. He whips the spear around

and points it at the doorway where the creatures will come out of. Dragonbait moves to stabilize instead. Is the door not open? It's open, yeah. I guess Flask doesn't know how it works. Not necessarily.

Pop, you're stabilized. Am I awake? No. You're on zero hit points and you're unconscious. Dragonbait slowly drags you out, and then Flask of Wine climbs up the side, and everyone's out. What treasures await on the other side of this challenge?

Find out next time on Once Upon a Time in Zombie Plague Chant. Thanks for listening. If you want to help support this show and all the other shows we do here at SandsPantsRadio, then why not subscribe to SandsPantsPlus.com. For as little as $5 a month, you can have access to a whole bunch of bonus shows and content. Once again, that's sanspantsplus.com. Hey there, fellow adventurer.

If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch. D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sandspans Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company

if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.