D&D is For Nerds - Zombie Plagued Chult II #20 Temple of the Froghemoth
Episode Date: June 27, 2020Grab your tickets to our Live Plumbing Boys Play/Ruin D&D stream and VOD here!Sign up to our newsletter here. Join our facebook group here.You can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Rese...rvoir East, Victoria, 3073.Want to help support the show?Sanspants+ | Shop | TeesWant to get in contact with us?Email | Twitter | Website | Facebook | RedditOr individually at;Adam | Cass | Tom | Jackson | ZammitTheme music by the wonderfully talented Mia (AtomicCupcakes). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to Season 2, Episode 20 of Zombie Plagued Chult.
Um, um, um, um.
If we go to the ones Orvex knows about, then it's a safe bet that that's what the Red Lizards know about too. Yeah, but we've only seen him get to one, and we've been to two near that one,
which makes me think that I've got no fucking idea where these things are either.
He walks up to you with the two things he's grabbed.
One of them is a very thorny bit of bush.
He brushes that over your arm and you feel it sticking and being thorny and unpleasant.
And then he takes the leaf and he brushes the leaf down your arm as well.
And it feels soft and nice and delicate.
You're facing off against this guy.
You are definitely the superior fighter and you have Dragonbait's assistance.
This guy knows that without some intervention, he's going to lose this fight.
Can I now see where the mage was?
Nah, not really.
Fuck you, Vaughn and Dragonbait.
You can see that he also made a run on him.
He's probably already pretty far.
He's potentially fled in fear. Yes. We take all of his stuff. All of it. He's probably already pretty far. He's potentially fled in fear. Yes.
We take all of his stuff. All of it.
He's close to. Alright, you leave him with literally nothing?
Literally nothing.
That's just rude.
After dealing with the remains of the Red Wizard
ambush, you find yourselves
in the northwestern corner of Oumu.
So, where are you heading?
You could try
to get back to the main freeway or highway whatever
that's where the guy said there was a lot of other temples he believed yeah we just need to
stick to the main path find what we can yep before everyone else does actually you know what i i
wasn't really thinking about it but he was actually, he does have a lead on a shrine.
Where you found him, round the back, there's a shrine there.
He tells you as such.
Orvex says, oh, we didn't really explore it,
but there was one just behind the compound you found me.
Sorry, I guess I got a bit rattled.
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
I should have said earlier.
I didn't put two and two together there.
It's fine, Orbex.
A house fell on you.
You're forgiven.
You want to go back across the tree?
Yeah.
Just kind of the way you know, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
You get across the tree without any problem.
But then once you're across the tree, that's where the problems
start. Sixteen
bag of nails
attack you.
So you make your way round to the back of
the walled compound area
or you try to.
Sorry.
I always forget this part. My favourite
part. I'm not stalling for time.
You're stalling for time. And nothing happens. You're fine. My favorite part. I'm not stalling for time. You're stalling for time.
And nothing happens.
You're fine.
Making us lose.
God, I love-
I hit my hand twice on the same thing.
I thought the second one was a bit.
No, it really wasn't.
You just did terrible.
No, yeah, I'm fine.
It sounded a lot worse than it was.
You get behind the walled compound that you first found Orvex at,
and you see, sure enough, there is a shrine on the other side.
Good one, Orvex.
A rectangular pool of murky water stretches before this vine-draped shrine.
Rope bridges that once spanned the water float on the surface,
tangled with other debris. Well, looks like we can go around the perimeter of the water.
You absolutely can.
And go through, like, one of these broken down bits of fence over here.
I fear this option because it's doable.
Well, wait.
Is it the grung one or is this the big frog tentacle one?
You're not sure.
Orvex would know, right?
Fair.
Orvex would know.
Yeah, don't be trying.
You don't know, you big dumb.
Above the locked gate that forms the entrance to the shrine itself,
there is some words written in Old Omen that he can translate.
Kubazan urges us to tread without fear and to give back as much as we take.
Kubazan.
Is the tentacle frog?
Yeah.
Okay, so this isn't the grung.
This is the frog hemoth?
Frog hemoth, yes. Very funny. Beware the, so this isn't the grung. This is the frog hemoth? Frog hemoth, yes.
Very funny.
Beware the frog monster.
Beware the frog monster.
That sounds like a frog hemoth to me, Cass.
Sounds very frog hemothy.
Now, this has confused me because that suggests to myself that don't touch the frog,
but then why is the frog there?
What was the thing?
Don't tread lightly?
Tread without fear.
Give back as much as we take.
All right.
So.
We should be able to walk on this water then.
Potentially.
We just need to leave it a gift, right?
I think that's when we get inside the temple to probably get the cube.
We're going to have to give it something as much as we take.
Huh.
Actually.
Tiffany, you've been here long enough.
At the water's edge you casting your
eyes out you can see ice stalks poking out of the water and you can tell that there's a froggy myth
in the water there's a froggy myth in the water how big is this froggy myth pop you know about
froggy myths actually oh i know about froggyrygmoths actually i mean you already kind of knew that i
guess but this creature will be a tough fight if you have to fight it they're amphibious they can
breathe air and water they bigger than vaughn their tentacles are the only thing more dangerous
than their tentacles is their bite and their tongue so there's a list yeah oh yeah oh yeah they rank here's all the things that are
dangerous about a phragimus it's everything but specifically these parts if it bites you it will
just try to swallow you and it can hold several creatures in its belly at any one time and it will
it will swallow live prey and attempt to digest them live. Well, it's easy. We just kill it from the inside out.
Obviously.
Fool.
Its tongue is probably the most dangerous part of it.
With its tongue, it can probably strike further than its tentacles,
and its tongue is very sticky, made to draw enemies into its gullet.
Like a frog.
The tongue looks like the two tentacles from a squid.
You know, the ones with little hands, like Squidward's hands.
Squid hands, but in tongue form, but you combine them.
It is resistant to fire and lightning damage.
Good to know, good to know.
So if you deal fire or lightning damage, it'll only take half that damage.
However, it has a feature.
You may be remembering a long time ago,
maybe you read this in Volo's Guide, the book, a while back.
I met Volo once.
He was an all right bloke.
You both did.
That was on this adventure.
We did.
We did.
We met Volo.
We met Volo.
He was fucking insane.
Crazy little guy.
Volo described it as shock
susceptibility. So while
it will only take half damage from lightning,
it will, however,
lightning will slow it down. It causes
its nerves to seize
up. So what happens
is it gets a negative two to its AC
and dexterity saving throws.
Can't use its reactions or multi-attack
on its turns.
So it gets multiple attacks a turn.
It can only make one attack a turn, can't take reactions.
It just, like, fucks it up.
It slows it down.
And would you call Witchbold a lightning attack?
Yeah, yeah.
It does lightning damage.
Also, it has darkvision.
Is it nighttime, Adam?
No, it's daytime.
Because I could have snuck past, gone in.
You could have, yes.
What if we wait until nightfall?
You could if you wanted to.
Is it like, how like daytime is it?
Maybe about midday, maybe.
What if?
Yes.
So I've explained all of that to Teefin. Yes.
So that's who we're up against.
Oh, good.
Oh, is that all?
Now, I reckon it will only wake up if we walk through its house.
Well, that makes sense.
Can we go around?
There's a chance.
But just in case, I was thinking we should have a contingency plan
should it wake itself up.
What does water do?
Boil.
Yes.
It conducts electricity
Ardis Simbra says
Close
Ardis, what does water do?
It can
Freezes
Yes
Also does that
Can we freeze
Can you freeze this entire body of water?
I could
If it's big enough to hold the phrogemith in it
I don't think it could freeze the entire body of water
But I could freeze a bit of it
Where the eyes are maybe Just like trap it Oh, I could freeze the entire body of water, but I could freeze a bit of it. Where the eyes are maybe, just like trap it.
Oh, I could freeze the surface solid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, not the whole thing.
I don't know if that'll keep it in there for very long, but I could.
Oh, it might be able to break through if it's that big.
Yeah, it's a bad idea.
It's a bad idea.
Pop, what the fuck are you talking about?
What?
Nothing.
I think freezing a section might help.
Freezing a section might help.
I don't mean to.
Wait, no, we don't know that.
Artisimber hushes up.
Oh, dear.
I know that it's shock-ceptible,
but I also think if there's a way we can avoid fighting it,
I'd rather do that.
Can we sneak around?
You can just go up to the door if you wanted to.
It's not that hard.
Like Pop stated, there are holes in the wall.
Let's try and sneak around.
Let's go through.
All right.
You approach the front door.
Oh, we've instructed Vaughn to wait outside.
Vaughn waits.
He's bigger than Vaughn.
It could kill him.
It is way bigger than Vaughn.
He's not as close as normal he's
like back out above the front door there are words written in old almond like i said kubizan
urges us to tread without fear and to give back as much as we take and you can see a locked gate
wards the place beyond you can through the gate you can see gentle light flowing onto a chamber beyond.
Steps descending as well.
I don't think it's a great start that we were too frightened to fight something.
No, probably not.
Let's go in.
The gate is locked.
How do you wish to try to progress?
You're a rogue, can't you open this thing?
You could try picking the lock.
I'll give it a crack.
All right.
You attempt to pick the lock.
However, you find after maybe 15 minutes hard work,
you find that the lock has so far bested you.
Would you like to continue?
Yes.
The lock continues to best you it's half an hour you
can still you can keep going for as long as you want time is your only is anyone else better at
locks than i am i thought i was okay but no one really is unfortunately you're the only person
who has lock picks and knows how to pick a lock i'm gonna keep trying then on in the like as it's
nearing an hour maybe after the first half hour,
you're starting to doubt yourself.
And then Artisimber kneels down next to you.
He pulls up his...
You know how when someone will pop a squat sometimes,
they'll hike up their pants a little bit?
Yeah, yeah.
He hikes up his pants a little bit, crouches down next to you.
He has his arms resting on his thighs.
He looks at you and says, what you need to do, I've always found,
is take a break, close your eyes, and count to ten.
I do it.
You feel a little bit of stress leave you.
Oh, he helped.
As it nears an hour, you take your time.
You're patient.
Artisimbra says, take your time.
We've got as much time as we need. You take your time You're patient Artisimbras says Take your time You've got as much time
As we need
You take your time
You're patient
I'm pacing behind you
It doesn't help
With a click
The door opens
The gate opens
As soon as that happens
There's a flash
And you realise
You've set off
A magical trap
Wow
That was stupid of us
That was real dumb of us
Wow
Wow Like that's stupid of us. That was real dumb of us. Wow. Wow.
Like, that's, that is.
You even gave, like, a really beautiful moment to really make that fall from grace.
Just hurt a bit more.
Jesus.
Don't I'm like, I'm like, oh, it's a magical shrine.
We'll try to break in, even though there's clearly something we have to do to get in there.
And we were, we were literally spending the time before mocking the red wizards for trying to force their way into a temple and we've just tried the same thing we just did at no stage no
as i was trying to break the lock i'm like it's weird there's they've locked this one that's a bit
odd don't you think tiffany you feel a wave of existential terror flood you you feel so afraid your own mind screams at you you idiot
there was something that you had to do this is clearly not the way you fucked up you're in
trouble an hour fall backwards and start scrambling away from the door you were under the effects of a fear spell. Then one of your hands, splash, falls into the water behind you
and immediately the frog emeth is out of the water.
Fuck.
And we'll go to initiative.
Oh, no.
I love that we try to avoid the, hey, Adam, we're healthier.
I don't know.
Oh, my gosh.
And I have something.
Heroism charm.
I'll give you one sec.
Hang on.
We'll go to initiative.
I can't be frightened.
Pop, who would you like to fight with?
Dragon bait.
Tiffany, who would you like to fight with?
Artis.
Call in Vaughn over if we're fighting this thing.
God, we were all so stupid.
Every one of us.
We said to be not true.
Including the NPCs.
Who are Adam.
Remember that, Cass.
I always forget.
I think they're our friends, but they're Adam.
Pop, you're first.
I get Vaughn to come over too.
All right, Vaughn.
Locks and loads.
Can he attack from here? He can't get there this turn on four. Well, he gets there this turn and that's it. Can he attack from here?
He can't get there this turn.
Well, he gets there this turn and that's it.
Can we get into the temple?
You could enter the temple now if you wanted to.
Are you scared or brave or I don't know what you're doing.
Tiffany, well, right now, until she activates her charm of heroism,
Tiffany is physically incapable of going through those doors.
She is terrified magically.
Get your shit together.
Take flask.
Go in there.
Is that your turn?
Oh, man.
Please do this.
Oh, fuck.
Yes.
Fight the froggy myth while this trap is happening.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
Yes.
What do you want to do?
While the trap is happening.
Pop, what are you doing? While the what? I do exactly what I just shit, yes. What do you want to do? While the trap is happening. Pop, what are you doing?
While the what?
I do exactly what I just did, Adam.
I tell Tiffany to go in and then Dragonbait and I charge up a Zephyr Striker.
No, I'm not going to go near it because it'll get me.
I'm going to use Wall of Hammers.
Conjure Barrage.
I have a fear spell as well.
I believe you do.
Yes, you do.
What are the odds of being able to?
It could work. Can I make the monster afraid? You well. I believe you do. Yes, you do. What are the odds of being able to... It could work.
Can I make the monster afraid?
You could.
You could certainly try.
That'll kill him, right?
He's not allowed to be scared.
He'd run away, wouldn't it?
Yeah, he would.
He would run away.
I'm going to just conjure fear.
You're going to use fear?
Yeah.
All right.
It's a big fucking frog, man. It needs to make a wisdom saving throw.
I hope it's dumb.
I hope this frog hasn't learned much over its years as a frog.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
It saves.
But you were on the right track.
Your knowledge of froggy myths means that you are aware
that the froggy myth is not very mentally strong.
You think it's just pure luck that has saved it from being feared on this occasion.
Fuck you, you big fucking-
Yeah, I'm sorry.
That's a shit.
What would you like Dragonbait to do?
He has no ranged attacks.
Get ready.
Dragonbait just steals himself.
Tiffany, an artist.
If Pops just said that to me, I'm going to fight with Flask instead.
Okay, cool.
Yep.
I would like to activate my heroism charm.
It's used up.
You no longer have it.
Yeah.
But you feel magical bravery surge into you.
I would also, as I run headfirst into the temple with my good friend Flask,
use a fortuitous circumstance card.
You sprint in using a fortuitous circumstance.
Steps descend to a ledge overlooking a pit of sharpened stakes an alcove on the far
wall holds a pedestal with a stone cube resting on it a relief carved into the back of the alcove
shows a monstrous frog with tentacles fighting a crane wooden beams radiate from the walls
at floor height with four foot gaps between them carved frog heads extrude from the walls at floor height with four foot gaps between them.
Carved frog heads extrude from the walls above the beams.
You are a 20 foot jump directly across from you is the cube.
And there are wooden boards all around.
You think that the wooden boards could support the weight of a human briefly.
Good thing we picked our most nimble friend.
Flask of wine.
And these wooden stakes in the centre, could one perhaps step on them?
No, they're sharpened to a razor point.
I mean, yes, one could.
Also, the spikes are 30 feet down.
If you fall, you fall 30 feet onto spikes.
Okay.
I've played a lot of Tomb Raider, Cass.
Do you know what happens?
Bad time?
Die.
Oh, okay.
Tiffany, it only took you 25 feet of movement to get there.
So you've got another five before you start digging into your action.
Could I potentially sprint all across the wooden?
You'd have to leap from board to board.
Flask, do you reckon you could go over?
What do you mean?
To get to the other side?
Do you reckon you could jump on the wooden board to get to the other side?
There's one on each side so you can run over.
I could try.
Do you want Flask of Wine to go?
Yeah, because Flask of Wine's more nimble.
All right.
Flask, remember, If you tread without fear
I mean, I think that's the key, right?
It was tread without fear
Give as much as you take
Flask
Yes
I'm sorry to have to ask this because we didn't know it was coming
Would it be okay
If you put your ball of soft
Just the small one
In place of the cube He hefts his ball of soft, just the small one, in place of the cube.
He hefts his ball of soft and says, all right.
I promise you I will help you make a new one, okay?
I believe you.
You can lose that fortuitous circumstance now.
That was a big thing for him.
I give Flask a really big hug and I say, I understand.
This was really big for you all right
flask leaps he lands on the first one he leaps again he lands on the second one as soon as his
paw has left the first one it slams shut you realize tiffany that it's a mechanism slamming it shut. The second you step on it, it collapses in.
A mechanism is forcing it down.
He lands on the second one.
Mm-hmm.
He manages just barely to grab with his paws
and throw himself back upwards.
He goes for the next one.
Does he have that ability that allows him to do stuff better?
What's his...
It makes him faster, but it doesn't mean that
he can run across these planks any better.
Damn it. Fourth one
by the hairs of his chinny chin chins.
He's turned the corner at
this point.
He makes the next two
with style. How many
are there, Adam? It's about halfway.
He makes it to the next corner.
Oh, fuck.
It's literally the last one.
No!
No!
He falls.
All right. literally the last one no he falls all right he falls 30 feet onto two spikes flask of wine hits the end flask of wine is impaled through his the side of his neck and through his thigh flask of wine slides
halfway down the five foot long spikes and then comes to a stop his right arm is wrapped limply
around the pole and his right leg is stuck at an odd angle because of the spearing through his thigh
his left arm and left leg hang uselessly and lifelessly on
the other side you do not know if he is alive or dead but he is not moving all right stephanie you
still have your action can i get into the pit or not really if you jump you fall into the pit
there's not really a lot of controlling it.
I stick my head back out and scream, help!
I'm going to call that your action, Tiffany.
Artis Simber dashes forwards, but there's not a lot he can...
Well, no, actually, Artis Simber is conflicted.
He looks at the giant Fragimeth,
and he looks down at Tiffany calling for help.
Maybe he locks eyes
with you for a brief moment pop what are you looking at me for i fucking got this artisember
dashes down the stairs and reaches you tiffany he looks at flask of wine with clear dismay in his
face that's not a lot he can do unfortunately remember dD was fun, Cass? No. It isn't.
Yeah, fair.
Pop,
the froggy myth's tongue
whips out at you.
You duck low and it
slashes over your head.
With tremendous speed,
the froggy myth is before you
and it brings both of its tentacles
down upon you.
All right.
Green boy, let's dance.
You feel your shell crack above you, and you feel blood, hot blood trickling through your shell.
Oh, that feels fucking unpleasant.
Oh, gosh.
And you are grappled.
Fuck.
It picks you up in one of its tentacles.
Joy of fucking joys.
Pop, it's your turn.
Can I try casting fear again?
Yeah, you absolutely can.
Great.
You will need to make a constitution saving throw first, however.
As you are being grappled, you pass.
What's wrong?
I'm just thinking about how a flask of wine is a tabaxi
and could have climbed the walls.
Yes, he could have.
Yes, he could have.
So, Cass, I hate us.
I hate us and our big dumb brains so much.
Adam, he's your character.
You should have known that and helped us.
You gave him the order to run across.
I did.
The froggy myth drops you,
Pop. Gosh. It
ducks underneath the waves and swims
away. You feel the weave
of magic pulling at its mind.
Yeah, you fucking cowardly
fat prick. What do you want Vaughn to do?
If Vaughn starts fighting it and it's
afraid, will it fight back? He can fight
it still. No, what I mean is though,
if he punches it, will it stay
afraid until it throws the spell? Yes.
Cool. I instruct Vaughn to tie
its tentacles in knots.
Vaughn steps into the water
and immediately disappears.
The water is very
deep. Cass.
Uh-huh. So today
has been a steep learning curve.
Yeah. I once heard a man describe it as a steep learning curb,
and that's where I feel like I'm sitting, in the gutter where I belong,
a big, dumb piece of trash.
Is it bin night?
Someone take us home.
Oh, man.
I think it's bin night.
What would you like Dragon Bait to do?
Cry.
I'd like Dragon Bait to to cut my big dumb head off,
full of its big dumb fucking ideas.
Anything else?
I don't know.
Nothing.
All right.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
The Foggy Moth just had its eyes poking out.
We knew that it was deeper than Vaughn was tall.
Yeah, I know.
Tiffany, I'm going to give you artists now
because Flask of Wine has other issues.
Oh, no.
Oh, my goodness.
What have we done to our beautiful friends?
Does artists have anything that could perhaps pull a dead cat
off of some spikes?
He has rope.
Artists would like to try and retrieve that cat.
From here, he's going to have trouble.
He's going to be dragging him across the spikes.
However, if you were to go the other way around
and get onto the platform there,
you could lower the rope from there because he's just below it.
Oh, you can't go the side he went because they're all down.
They're all stuck down.
I wonder what the difference is with the trap activated, you know?
I wonder what the difference is with this.
We had to be not fucking idiots for this entire temple.
I wonder what the difference would be.
We tried to break in.
What is wrong with us?
We sent a cat to die.
He can crawl on the
wall and not touch the wooden planks at
all. Adam, I would like to drink my potion
of climbing and climb the walls.
You can absolutely do that. And it's just
like walking, right? Yep. I would
like to drink my potion of climbing.
Why didn't we do that
earlier too? And I would like to
climb all around the walls.
You will be able to get to the other side with your turn, but that's it.
Oh, gosh.
Froggy Mith's turn.
All right.
Pop.
Can Vaughn swim?
He can sink.
Sorry, let me rephrase.
He's sinking.
Can I think, Vaughn, get out of the water?
You can.
You do not know what is happening to Vaughn. Is of the water you can you do not know
what is happening to Vaughn
is it deep the whole way through
you don't know
the water's too murky to see
fuck I'm angry
I would really really have loved to have
installed my brain today
oh my gosh
I want Vaughn to keep trying to tie his tentacles up
that's more amusing to me
Vaughn doesn't need to tie his tentacles up That's more amusing to me Because I figure we'll be able to get him
Vaughn doesn't need to breathe
No Vaughn doesn't need to breathe
He can stay there forever
But I don't know how to get him out
He just might
I'll figure something out
Anything else you want to do Pop?
We're going to go in the temple while Vaughn's dealing with
Alright cool
You and Dragonbait enter the temple
You see Artis looking very worriedly at Tiffany
Tiffany what would you like to do?
You see the puzzle cube right before you on the plinth.
I would like to try and get Flask out of the spikes.
All right.
How do you do that?
The rope I have.
You make a noose with it, presumably.
I would like to tie a crowbar to the end of the rope.
You do so.
Try and hook the crowbar through one of what i can only assume is
several belts that flask of wine is wearing and just try start pulling i'm gonna call making your
crowbar grappling hook one of your actions so you can lower it down but you can't hook him this turn. That makes sense. That was Tiffany and Artus.
Artus, there's not a lot he can do, unfortunately, from where he is.
And cool.
Pop, what would you like to do?
What the fuck's going on?
A bit of, I'm not sure, actually.
I came here and this was kind of what was happening.
Is he dead? I think he's in a poor sort. I'm not sure, actually. I came here and this was kind of what was happening. Is he dead?
I think he's in a poor sort.
I'm not sure if he's dead.
Hors, are you right?
I don't know.
Right.
I don't know if Flask is alive.
Oh, Jesus.
Can you try and heal him?
Can I heal Flask from where I am?
No, unfortunately.
You need to be able to touch someone to heal.
I'm going to touch him.
Okay.
I've got a really bad idea.
I love that.
Yeah?
How wide is the chasm?
It's 20 feet.
If I cast Rope Trick in the middle, can I Tarzan across to Tiffany?
It is theoretically possible. What would I need to do to allow across to Tiffany? It is theoretically possible.
What would I need to do to allow this to happen?
So you need to make a, so you cast the spell, the rope is created.
You make an athletics check to jump.
You would need to make an athletics check.
I believe it would not be too difficult for you.
I have pretty good strength and strength is
athletics however unfortunately you will do you will be making this check at disadvantage because
of my leg yep so it's not a difficult check but you're operating at disadvantage and you need to
make it twice once to get to the rope once to get to the other side but it's a lot easier than it would be otherwise i believe you only need to get a um hang on are you saying you're gonna tell me what i need to
get and then you're gonna give me the dust and am i gonna have to roll them oh well that's a lot
better an idea than what i was i was just gonna roll whatever and say that you failed
you need to make it's a check dc of 10 So you need to get 10 and you have a bonus of acrobatics,
not athletics.
So you get plus one.
It's not a tough check, but you're rolling a disadvantage.
Adam.
Yeah.
Never tell me the odds.
How do you do it?
How do you do it?
Two ones.
Here we go. Oh, God. Two ones. Here we go.
Oh, God.
Oh, all right.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Two ones is
pointless.
We only need
one one.
Hey, 16 and
a 20.
All right.
Well, you get
halfway across.
I'm going to say
that's your turn
though.
You're holding
onto the rope.
Hold onto those
dice.
Okay.
All right.
So this is a
good idea.
All right,
Tiffany, time to hook.
I'm trying to hook in.
You swing down and around,
and the crowbar skips off several of his belts but does not catch anything.
Frog-y myth, pop.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, this's so dumb.
Do you know what, though?
We've been dumb this entire time,
so maybe the universe will reward our stupidity.
It did not.
I got a five.
You fall into the pit.
I was like 15.
I was like, oh, no, wait, take the lower number.
You get halfway between the rope and your destination.
You are going to impale upon three spikes.
Whoops.
That's the last thing in here.
Oh, fuck.
You take 28 points of damage, which is not so bad, all things considered.
I'm still alive.
Yeah.
You actually have movement and your
action still, if you want.
Can I get myself
off the spikes?
You can try.
This is my favourite part.
You managed to work
your way off the spikes
and you're standing on the bottom of the pit.
Can I-
Hobble over the flask.
Yeah, I want to see how he's doing.
You can do that, but that's your turn.
Yeah, that's right.
Tiffany.
You can see the pop standing right next to him.
You maybe don't need to hook him anymore.
I have three big holes in me.
Pop, can you tie the rope around?
Yes! Thank you.
Pop might be able to just heal him
and then they can both climb up your rope.
That's probably smarter. Tiffany, do you want to do
anything else? There's the plinth with
the puzzle cube on it. The puzzle cube.
Do you have something that you can swap over for
it?
A photo of your dad
or something.
I have the waka nut the gift I was given from
the Tupac suit
Sunday night
oh my god Sunday night
what a great day
you also have a tattoo that says mum
I just remembered
those guys on that boat
and that's something you did.
Yeah.
That's so funny.
That's right, you do have a mum tattoo.
Yeah, because everyone has a mum.
Everyone's got a mum.
Going around the boat.
Is he a mum?
Yep.
He's a mum.
Oh, yeah.
That's a mum.
Pop's a mum.
Pop's a mum!
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Okay.
I'd like to instruct Pop to heal Flask.
Mm-hmm.
And then I would like to turn around
to the puzzle cube
and try and quickly, yet carefully,
swap it for a waka nut.
The waka nut?
How different are they in size?
Quite different.
The puzzle cube's a bit bigger and heavier.
I have an immovable rod.
You could use that.
I finally have a ball of soft.
I know.
That's a little heavy.
You could use the crowbar.
Crowbar is definitely as heavy.
Does it feel as heavy?
Yeah, easy.
Okay.
Cass, I just want to remind you something.
That Adam likes to make us have a bad time.
Maybe I would like to instead put my bag of ball bearings.
All right.
You use your bag of ball bearings?
Yeah.
You take the puzzle cube off and put the ball bearing bag on instead.
As soon as the puzzle cube is lifted off the plinth,
you can see that the surface that it is on starts to rise a little bit.
But when you put the bag of ball bearings on, it goes back down.
Thank goodness.
And then it is Pop, your turn.
I'm going to heal him.
Cure wounds level two.
Level two?
Yep.
Cool.
At the same time as you heal him,
he slowly slides magically off the two spikes that he was lodged on
and starts to rouse.
Hello there, Pop.
It is good to see you.
Not bad to see you too, although it would be better if we could see one another
out of a giant pit of spikes.
I had a strange dream.
Was it that you were dead?
No, I was a kitten.
Yeah, that's generally what happens when you die.
I should know.
It's happened four times.
Did the dream end with Oscaraskifying eating a good meal?
It was interrupted unfortunately
Which is good for him
Because if he had had a good meal at the end of that dream, Cass
He's never having a good meal again
That's true
He's having good meals in heaven
He's lapping milk with the cat lord
Flask went to heaven?
Yeah, of course
He's a good cat
Is he though?
Yeah
Yeah, Flask is so good No, no, no, no, no, of course. He's a good cat. Is he, though? Yeah. Yeah, Flask is so good.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He's a good boy, but he also, like, is a thief.
Yeah, with a heart of gold.
Ah, true.
And a lot of people's mail.
Right.
I guess we live here in this pit of spikes.
Without too much effort, you can climb back out.
Maybe Tiffany climbs back along the wall to the other side,
lowers the rope, and both of you,
you can walk just among the spikes to the rope and then climb out.
Oh.
The froggy myth is nowhere to be seen.
And I'll say, as this is happening, actually,
you can hear a distant thump, thump, thump, thump,
and then two giant
iron hands sprout out
of the water, and Horn
climbs out. Is he covered in blood?
No, he's just covered in
seaweed. Does that mean he successfully
tied the Frogemus tentacles together?
He was told to rise, so he stopped
paying attention to the Frogemus.
Still in there somewhere. I did tell him
to get out. Yeah.
Oh, well.
You all right, horns?
I'm all right.
Are you okay?
Oh, I've had worse.
Flask, are you okay?
I have seen better days.
I would like to recommend, although it's what,
like late afternoon by now?
Yeah.
I think we need a break.
I think we need a break as well.
I think we need to get out.
You can just leave.
It's not hard.
You can go to the walled compound right next door.
Okay, let's head into the walled compound and just have a break.
I have seen bad days.
You go to the walled compound and you have a kip?
Yes, we do.
We do.
Let's rest up and get well.
All right, what do you want to do now, Hans? We've got to get more puzzle cubes. We've already got four and they have a kip? Yes, we do. We do. Let's rest up and get well. All right, what do you want to do now, Hans?
We've got to get more puzzle cubes.
We've already got four and they have one.
There's only three left.
All right.
No, that's not right.
That's not math.
How many puzzle cubes are there, nine?
Nine.
We've got four.
They've already got one.
That means there's only four left.
Provided they haven't found any more. We've got to check They've already got one. That means there's only four left. Provided they haven't found any more.
We've got to check.
I'm with you.
Which way would you like to go?
In the very early morning, as you're having this conversation,
you hear...
Torrential rain buffets you.
Sounds bad.
Of all the things.
It's not good.
Exhaustion.
Yeah, well, if you move today, you'll suffer a level of exhaustion,
potentially two.
Also, in the early morning light,
you see a figure looking around the open doorway to you.
You immediately determine that it is a cyclops.
We leave the cyclops be.
We stay very still.
The cyclops looks at you in the early morning rainy light
with curiosity and then stands fully in the doorway peering at you.
Stay still.
Is that how they work?
Stay still.
Okay. Do we know how they work? Stay still. Okay.
Do we know how they work?
Cyclops is T-Rex's, but of D&D.
Well, I imagine their death perception is just bad, you know.
Pop, you know about Cyclops.
They're, well, one-eyed giants, obviously.
They eke out a meager existence in wild lands.
They are a terrifying
threat in combat due to their size and strength, but they can often be tricked by clever foes.
Their legends claim that Cyclopses were the spawn of one of the gods of the giants,
but these creatures pay little heed to any deities. They see little benefit in prayer
and dislike ritual, which they perceive as complex
and foreign. However, a cyclops that gains direct benefit from some side of divine power or which is
threatened by a supernatural force or creature will pay homage as long as the benefit or threat
remains. They are reasonably intelligent, though they live simple, reclusive lives, keeping herds of animals for food.
They prefer to dwell alone or in small family groups, layering in caves, ruins, or rough structures of dry stone that they build themselves.
I don't think Adam's trying to make us fight something big that we don't want to fight.
Don't want to fight it?
No.
If he's intelligent, he'll-
After a little bit, it turns and walks away.
Good.
It worked.
Well, there you go.
I didn't really feel I was fighting a cyclops for breakfast, to be honest.
Neither did I.
My understanding is they usually found their own food anyway,
so we should have been fine.
You actually knew very-
You rolled a one.
I got a bad boy card out of you.
Oh, my gosh.
You know dick shit about Cyclopses.
Actually, that's untrue.
Maybe all you know about Cyclopses is racist rumors.
That sounds right.
That's why I'm like, don't move.
What is it?
Death's Deception's bad.
You know that it can see fine.
It clearly went away.
I don't think I'm wrong.
It was probably disinterested in us.
Look, either way it's good. We should keep
moving. Do you want to keep moving?
If we move in this rain,
I'm just saying.
What do you think the... Artisimber
from underneath a canopy says
we're racing against
the red wizards. Do you really think
they're going to stop because of rain?
No. Let's go go pop used to be
so good at ideas what the fuck happened what big dumb fucking what i'm having a long time you i'll
go at the back you i'll check make sure there's no one looking that cyclops doesn't follow us
thanks pop pop you gain one level of exhaustion and tiffany you gain two levels of
exhaustion i love it it always happens i get one tiffany gets 11 um i'm assuming we're heading up
the pathway to look for more temples yep orvex doesn't know exactly where any other temples
are but he imagines that there will be some along this main road.
Eventually, the rain is quite thick, making it hard to see in front of you,
but eventually you spot amid the ruins an abandoned campsite. Torn backpacks and rotted
gear litter the ground around three moldering tents. At the centre of the camp, a scrap of dirty yellow cloth
hangs from a crude wooden flagpole.
They look like wizard stuff, Orvix.
He shakes his head.
I don't know what that is, but that's not red wizards.
That's someone else.
Another group, potentially?
We should see who we're dealing with.
I don't want to deal with anyone else out here.
Who picks up a moldy letter if they find it?
I would because I've gotten into letter writing recently.
Hey, I found a letter.
Oh, what's it say?
Rue.
Denlon has a lead on the Eye of Zoltek,
the old goat-found obelisk to the north that marks the entrance
to the Tomb of the Nine Gods. The Eye must be within, but the door is magically locked. Yellow banner. If you get into trouble, sound the swan horn twice and we'll come running. For the Yellow Banner, Lord Brixton.
Yellow Banner, Lord Brixton.
Does any of that familiar to anyone?
Yeah, do we know that?
Tiffany, you've heard back at Port Nyanzaro,
people talk about the company of the Yellow Banner.
They were a group of adventurers they sounded like a
noble group but they went they went missing in chult quite a long time ago months ago they
ventured in and disappeared i convey this to the rest of the group lord brixton was their leader
he was a knight well i think we can guess what happened to the yellow company banner people
company of the yellow banner the camp looks really old here yeah it looks old and disused
it looks like they fell into odd sorts it maybe upsets you a little bit because lord brixton
maybe had the air of a nicer version of your father about him from Tales.
Oh, Adam.
They were a group of five in total. You knew that much. The knight, a
wizard, a
cleric, a dwarven cleric,
a dragonborn
paladin,
and a human ranger.
You assume
something foul has befallen them.
Unless Roo's still all right.
Roo's clearly still alive.
Well, potentially.
Roo wasn't here when he wrote the letter, I guess.
But I assume Roo's somewhere back at home.
Maybe.
No, what's that thing about the swan horn?
Blast the swan horn twice or whatever.
You're right.
Roo must be at least with an earshot, all the swanhorns magical.
Unless he left the note.
Maybe he wasn't intending to post this one.
Maybe this was meant for Roo to find.
So what you're saying is there's us, red wizards,
and this Roo looking for these puzzle cubes.
Why do they want the puzzle cubes?
I don't know.
I don't see.
He expressly mentions the fucking snaky bastard in the letter.
Yeah, well, they know that they're after the cubes as well.
No, I don't think that our snake friends are after the cubes.
I think they don't want people using the cubes to get to them.
What was it?
The Eye of Zoltan?
Zoltek.
Sounds good.
Sounds very good. Good name for an artifact. Zoltek. Sounds good. Sounds very good.
Good name for an artifact.
I ignore that.
Hang on.
If you
say that out loud, that might trigger
someone else's. Are you
kidding? No, never mind. It doesn't.
Sorry.
None of you were privy to the conversation
the bag of nails had with
flask of Wine.
So Flask of Wine has just some odd bits of information that he doesn't know are useful.
Oh my god.
And we don't know that they're useful or that he has them.
Yeah.
Bag of Nails was here for a reason.
Huh.
Bag of Nails didn't just wander out here and become crazy.
Well, yeah, actually, he did.
But he was here for a reason.
Yeah, he came here for something.
Huh.
And he told Flask what that something was.
Mm-hmm.
Which we will never know.
Speaking of Flask, though, Adam, I would like to go over to Flask and...
How's your...
Flask of Wine shows you his bandaged chest.
It looks rough, but he's definitely on the mend.
Could I cure wounds him?
You could do that again if you wanted to, sure.
I give him a level one cure wounds.
Level one?
Yep.
He looks a lot better.
There's still marks, clear marks, bruising, cuts,
but he definitely looks a lot better.
I pat flask on the shoulder and I look at Dragonbait and I say,
Big Leaf.
Get a good boy card.
Dragonbait nods very encouragingly.
He can't make sounds with his mouth, but you see him mouth the words
Big Leaf.
That just baffles me.
That just baffles me.
All right.
But I don't care enough to ask.
You're becoming me.
Would you like to push on?
Can we just search the site a little bit if there's anything there?
All right.
You spend some time searching the site.
How long would you stay?
You can turn it over pretty quickly,
but you could really do an in-depth clean if you will
it's just mainly looking for clues they might have left behind any puzzle boxes for example
as you're there you're turning the place over and artist simber hisses hey up ahead look you turn Up ahead, look. You turn around to where he's gesturing, and you can see that there are two mercenaries approaching you
with a red wizard between them.
The mercenaries have their weapons drawn.
I reckon we might be able to get another puzzle cube.
You're very funny.
So as they approach, the rain is like storming down howling the red wizard drenched head to toe
he's an older man he's bald completely and any inch of exposed skin that you can see
is tattooed with arcane symbols and curling script he puts a hand he also has a goatee Very classical evil looking man
He puts a hand on his chest
And calls out to you
Hello
Travelers
You are adventurers
Yes
You've been tussling with us previously
Yes
I don't think we've ever met you in our life
I am Dyrax Lovely to meet you dyrax who are you
shelly
maybe you actually need a role to stifle that laugh i do i do ah t, I get a bad boy card. And yeah, his laughing definitely makes it seem like you lied.
Dyrax narrows his eyes at you and says,
Very well then, we need not exchange pleasantries or names.
We need only come to an understanding.
Is the understanding that your name is the dumbest fucking name
I've ever heard and I've heard some dumb fucking name since being here.
If Dyrax cares about that insult, he does not show it.
Do you say it's pop?
Yes.
What?
Why?
What kind of agreement do we need to come to?
We've been at each other's throats for quite some time now, have we not?
I don't think I've ever met you.
Again, I would also remember that head.
Oh my god.
You have clashed with our mercenaries and with our wizards.
And, of course, you have, until now, continued to win.
I'm sure if we were to exchange swords now, you would probably still win.
However, our leader, Shadow Mantle, is coming here with a mighty host.
An army. An actual army.
You will not be able to stop her.
She will overcome you.
However, you may hinder her process and maybe even hide the puzzle cubes
ultimately we are not at odds with each other you want to kill ross nazi or get into his tomb
or whatever so do we surely we can come to an agreement here. Diplomacy. My weakness.
I really don't think we've met before. Did you want to come closer?
No,
thank you. You can continue
with the innocent child
act, but it will not work.
Are you calling a child?
What else do I have?
I'm actually just not calling. I said the opposite
of that. I said the opposite of that.
I said it was an act.
Why do you want Rasnazi dead?
We don't want Rasnazi dead.
Well, look, if he dies, that maybe makes our job easier.
We have our own... Why do you want the puzzle cubes?
We want the puzzle cubes because they are the key to getting to Rasnazi.
And why do you want to get to Rasnazi? All right, I'm going to level with z and why do you want to get to rosner z all right i'm going to level with you we don't want to get to rosner z we want a
surprise an ulterior motive from a fucking weird looking bald man we want to get past rosner z
so beneath him beneath this city deep underground is a device known as the soulmonger right there
we go and what do you want with the
soulmonger the next words out of your mouth better be to destroy it and see it never continue to
monger souls our orders are to destroy it if possible you can tell that he's not telling
the entirety of the truth but you also can tell that he's not entirely lying.
What parts are true and what are lies?
Find out next time on Once Upon a Time
in Zombie Plague Chant.
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