D&D is For Nerds - Zombie Plagued Chult III #15 Shagambi’s Tomb

Episode Date: January 16, 2021

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San Spence Radio, Australia's dumbest podcast network. I suddenly notice that my vision's a bit clearer, and it's because I don't have eyelashes anymore. Ardicember looks at you, draws his weapon, he's ready to fight, but he's not going to let you command him. What the fuck? Flask? Oh, dear. Do you want to help?

Something tells me that all these hours of being rude to people for no reason is... I don't want to, like, you know, put a negative spin on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's catching up to us and it's no good. Us? Yep, us. I've done nothing. You use the term we a lot.

Oh, my Lord. Holy shit. Hey, Adam, is it us? Cass, get a good boy cut. No, Cass, get a good boy cut. No, Cass, get a bad boy cut. When both of you hear the bell tolling, you both age 10 years. Are you fucking kidding? Nope.

Are you kidding? Yeah. Adam. I don't live very long, Adam. Yeah, that's a good question. Hey, how old were either of you? I think I was early 20s not anymore so I'm 27 yeah well you're 37 now just a regular looking chameleon how big at the size

of a chameleon it looks at you and says can you help me out of here there's nothing else in the room other than a skeleton holding a burning candle. Pop, you're in a room with burning lava falling upon you. The only feature of this room is a skeleton holding a burning candle. What do you do? I grab the candle. You make another dexterity saving throw as more lava hits you. That's a fail.

Hi, Adam. Yeah. Are you a big, dumb idiot? Adam. Yes. Can I blow the candle out? You take another nine points of damage. Mercifully, not much.

Then you blow the candle out, and with with a pop you disappear from that room. So just for everybody, I did not solve that on my own. Cass is frantically miming blowing a candle out to me and it took too long, quite honestly. Well, as Tiffany is not part of this, this cass i will allow you to work with pop you can be nang nang in his mind helping him solve these problems and what's your name name voice is it this one i'm not i yes something like that okay i'm nang nang all right what am i like you do not share with others you are a selfish piece of shit. No, no, we don't share with them.

Pop, you immediately begin to choke as you are teleported to a room with no light, no sound, and no air. Fuck. Ah. Ah. Dude, you should have brought the candle with me. Oh, you have darkvision, right? I do. You see sculptural reliefs on the walls of this dark cell showing tornadoes uprooting trees and tearing cities apart.

An Orocra. They're the flying, the eagle people? Yeah. I don't know if you've met any on this adventure. I don't think you've met any on this adventure. An Orocra skeleton embedded in one of the walls holds an iron sconce bearing an unlit red candle. Let it go. Let it go. You are suffocating as the rules. Hang on. No, no, no. I'm unlit red candle. You are

suffocating as the rules. Hang on. No, no, no. I'm not suffocating. You know why? Why? I can hold my breath for up to an hour, baby. Did you hold your breath before you blew out the candle? No. I'm so glad I picked the candle up before I blew it out too because

Oh, the candle is no longer in your hands. It got left behind. What the fuck, Adam? Sorry, buddy. Oh, I don't have anything to light. Maybe I do. You can survive for a number of rounds equal to your constitution modifier.

You can survive four rounds before you die. So what's on the picture again? Sculptural reliefs on the walls of this show. Oh, guys, why did I do this? Showed tornadoes uprooting trees and tearing cities apart. And a rocker skeleton embedded in one wall holds an iron sconce bearing an unlit red candle. Okay.

And it's all reliefs. There's no real trees or anything. Like, it's just all stone is what I'm trying to ask. It it's all, it's all reliefs. There's no real trees or anything like there's not, there's not, it's just all stone is what I'm trying to ask. It's just all stone. Yeah. Okay.

I like my Tinder. I use the Tinder box to light the candle. You, you try to light, but you strike a match. Nothing happens. You strike a match again. You realize there's no air. Um,

that was one round. Um, if you go unconscious, no one can get there. I take the candle out and put it in my mouth. You can't make air either, unfortunately. The Orocra-

I guess you have any- The Orocra- Nang, nang. Help. The Orocra skeleton stares at yourocra. Nang, nang. Help. The Orocra skeleton stares at you stupidly. Nang, nang. Fuck. Come on, you weird fucking frog piece of shit.

Ow. The reliefs. What's in the reliefs? Trees, tornado, Orocra. Could you take anything from the reliefs? I try to touch the reliefs. Adam? There's nothing there.

That's your second round. And the Orochra skeleton is just... Sitting there, yeah. It's bones unmoving. Does it have wings? It does. I grab the wing bones and, like, try to make them

flap, like, create wings. Like, make them fly. They won't move. You just pop them out of the wall. You're holding them in your hands. I'm going to say that's your third turn. You're just holding the wings. They feel, they're a bird's wings, so they feel light and brittle. No air.

Can't light a candle. I have no spells that do fire. They're brittle, light Like light as air Break the bones I crush them A little puff of air comes out of each broken bone Can I breathe?

Um I'll give you one more round Can I use one of the bones You just breathed in that air Smash the skeleton I grab the skull And over the candle I use one of the bones and- You just breathed in that air. Smash the skeleton. I grab the skull and over the candle, trying to light the candle, I also crush the skull.

All right. A little puff of air comes out. You light the candle. All right, Nang Nang, we're doing all right, okay? Once we get through this, you can absolutely fuck off out of my head, though. Why didn't they let us keep the candle? Well, I don't know. That's a good point. Bullshit. We could have two candles by now. Yes.

Bones, lots of bones. Didn't even let me keep the fuck of bones, neither. Hey, I'll do you a deal. If you ever go back in anyone else's head, don't you tell them what we found in here, yeah? No. Yeah, good. Adam, can we like zoom out? We're going to do a smash cut. What's happening?

What's happening? What's happening back outside? The door seals shut. Belindra says hmm. Artisimbra looks a little shocked. What do you do, Tiffany? We need to break it open, what are you doing? I try and find any tool I have I don't even think I have any tool for smashing But I do my best

Belindra starts slamming her magical quarterstaff into it But she's not very strong And this is not really what she's suited for Artisimbra and Flask of Wine starts clawing at it with his nails, but he just starts breaking nails. Artis Simber slams his body into it once, then summons a polar bear made out of ice that starts slamming at the door, but it's made out of solid stone.

None of you can open it. Huh. Pop? Come to terms with the fact that you're going to lose your friend. We should wait, right? I'd like that there are people in the party who are like, should we? Would Pop wait for us?

Would wait for me? Pop? Yeah. This tomb is filled with terracotta warriors, Would Pop wait for us? Pop would wait for me. Pop? Yeah. This tomb is filled with terracotta warriors kneeling in neat ranks around a polished wooden coffin. Between the warriors, four aisles scattered with broken pottery lead up to the coffin,

whose painted lid shows a leopard with serpents sprouting from its shoulders. You do not have either of those spirits in your head. Nang Nang has no advice for you. You are in what is quite obviously Shugambi's tomb. What do you want to do? I would like to, there's like an aisle, like a walkway in front of me. Yeah, with broken pottery on it.

And terracotta warriors everywhere. Yeah. Okay. Before I move, I would like to say the magic command word for the pearl of power and regain a third level spell slot. Cause I have used them all up. When you say the word for that pearl of power,

all the terracotta warriors turn their heads to face you. As one, they pull their swords a few inches from their scabbards. We're going to go to initiative. Just going to try to heal myself. Adam, you get that third level spell slot back. Pop, you know enough

to know that if you step off this plate and then back onto it, you will teleport. You're not sure where you're going to teleport, but you are sure that you're about to fight 48 terracotta warriors. Adam. Yeah. How close am I to a wall? You've got your back to one.

How high is this room? The room is 15 feet high. I'd like to climb the wall. Okay. You think if you teleported and then teleported back so they didn't know where you were, that might be better? I could always do that, don't you? Don't you want to get to the box?

Of course, but I don't want to die. Tiffany Nang Nang? The Terracotta Warriors follow you, but they can't attack you. You're too high. You can see that coffin in the middle of the room. If you drop down to it, though, they will attack. Okay.

Can I go over one of the other teleportation pads? So they're just, like, following me around like a mass? Yes. Oh, I'm going to heal myself. Oh, okay. Third level. Good. You recover 21 hit points.

Make it strong. All right. You have another third level spell if you want to heal yourself again. Oh, really? I thought I'd use two. I heard that you'd only used one. I'll err on the side of your favor for this. So you can heal yourself again if you want. I would like to heal myself again.

You recover. Didn't help that much. You recover a further eight hit points. Does the terracotta, do the terracotta pieces in the middle suggest that these warriors are super fragile? They look a bit fragile, but you're not sure how the magic works. Smash them. I don't have anything. Pick up one to smash with another.

That would involve getting down off the wall. No, that's bad. Hey, do you have rope? Yeah. Lasso. Yeah, can I lasso one? You could lasso one, yes. However, the coffin is in the middle of the room.

Hey, Adam, can I abseil down to the coffin? You could abseil down to the coffin. I mean, like, all the terracotta warriors would be around there. You would be able to climb back up and then crawl along the wall again and stuff like that, yeah. Use the rope to open the coffin, maybe. Get a good boy card. Hey, Adam.

Yeah? Can I use the rope to open the sarcophagus? You walk to the middle of the room using Nang Nang's power. You're just standing on the roof. You make a lasso out of the rope, lower it down, loop it around the coffin, drag the coffin open, and you are looking into the coffin now. You see what is in the coffin. You see that there are 200 gold pieces. You're not going to be able to collect that

there's five moons out anyway keep going there's five moon stones there's a oh that's right when you open the the coffin a like a soft tinkling melodic sound starts to fill the room opening the coffin has also opened a little music box within the coffin. Obviously a trap that would have set off all the terracotta warriors. Ah, because they react to sound. I could have just been quiet and I would have been fine. No, you would have been in the middle of them. This is better.

Yeah, this is on the whole probably the best solution. True. There is also a mandolin, which you can tell is obviously enchanted. The mandolin is obviously what you want. Yeah. Can I use the rope to lasso the mandolin? You absolutely can. You pull the mandolin up and then you grab it, do you?

Yeah. What? What? Don't touch it! It's mine. No one else's. My fucking mandolin. He's right though. Get a good boy card but damn, Tom, you're stupid.

Six shadowy serpents slither out of the mandolin and coil around your body. You're going to fall off the roof! You hear a bird voice in your mind say, I am not your enemy. Oh, fuck. I'm going to fall off the roof. Oh, my God, Tom.

Tom, you dumb little boy. You stupid, stupid little boy. I thought you were just being like, no, I'm Nang Nang, and I don't want to leave your brain. Not, no, I'm Nang Nang, and therefore you won't have my powers. Hey, Adam, just out of curiosity, does the Kamandan's powers also involve the ability to climb walls? Shigambi's power.

I'm fighting this. Yeah, of course. While inhabited by Shigambi, you can make one extra attack when taking the attack action on your turn. Shigambi's. Does that mean in the first round of combat, if I use Zephyr Strike and that power, I can attack five times? No, because you don't get your usual three.

Oh, you would only be able to attack four times. Only? Yeah. If you were using, like, your hammer and sickle, you would be able to attack five times. I don't have that anymore. Shigambe's flaw, BT dobs, is I never show mercy to evildoers. So let me pose you a situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get Shigambe. Yeah, yeah-Dubs, is I never show mercy to evil doers. So let me pose you a situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You get Shigambi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You fall off the ceiling. Yeah. You can't let the terracotta warriors go. Adam. They're evil doers. I can't.

I survive. Say you survive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get back to your party. Yeah. On a simber. Flask of wine. Yeah.

Tiffany. The lizard. The lindra. Yeah, yeah. I have to kill her. Oh, man, I hope I get Shigambi in my head. You'll kill us all. So let's make a very important saving throw. Yes, please.

All right, you pass your saving throw. You resist Shigambi's influence. But, Adam, I don't want to. You would have fallen off the roof. Ow. I still don't fucking like you. Once we're out of here, blippity blip, off you go. I'm not keeping your secrets.

That's funny. Get a good boy card. I'm not keeping the pearl of power. No, you need me. Yeah, I really want it. So what are you doing now? I'm not keeping the Pearl of Power. No, you need me. Yeah, I really want it. So, what are you doing now? You know that the teleportation circles, if you step on them,

you will be teleported again, but you're not sure where or what will happen. So I'm not going to go back to the one that I started from. I'm going to go to the northern one. You step onto the teleportation circle, and you are teleported. onto the teleportation circle, and you are teleported. This dusty room is 15 feet square and empty, except for an ornate rectangular mirror mounted on the wall opposite the room's only exit. You're going to have to make a charisma saving throw. Oh, that's really good, Adam, because I'll just check my sheet here.

Ah, yes, charisma is my lowest ability. Sorry, what's your lowest ability? Charisma. I've got good news and what's your lowest ability? Charisma. I've got good news and I've got bad news. Which would you prefer first? I would like the good news and then, Adam, just don't tell me the bad news. Well, the good news is, Cass, we're going to be focusing on you for a while. Oh,

no. Oh, fuck. Hey, Adam. Yeah? Just look, I have to know. What's the bad news, champ? The bad news is that you are sucked into the mirror that you are looking at. Ah. You find yourself. Son of a bitch.

You find yourself in an infinite expanse filled with thick fog that reduces visibility to 10 feet. You no longer feel the desire to eat, drink, or sleep. However, you do not know where you are. Right. This is wholly unpredictable and I don't think it's good. Entirely preventable. Well. No, because it's just the way I am.

I can't be more charming, Adam. I mean. You could try. Pop could be. I can't be. Oh, he's hit the max. Hey, Adam. Yeah.

Now that I am safe, well, now that I am. You don't know that you're safe. Now that I'm no longer hanging from the ceiling. Correct. That much you know. That much I know. What I would like to do is I want to see what Shagambi's like. No. Why? Hey, what do you mean no? This devil, when has it ever been good? Hey, remember when I could only tell the truth? You putting your hands on that mandolin?

I am picking up that mandolin, baby. Alright. Six shadowy serpents slither out of the mandolin and coil around your body. You hear a purring voice in your mind. I am not your enemy. So Nangnang's gone. Yes. You now have Shagambi in your mind. So for everyone, hey Cass, Shagambi, she can get an extra attack on my turn, extra action on the turn.

Oh, wow. You can attack a lot. I can attack like 12 million times. But here's the fun part, Cass. What? I never show mercy to evildoers. No. Shagambi, female.

Yes. Neutral good. Wise and virtuous. Your new inherited flaw. Yes. I never show mercy to evildoers. Enemy is Nangnang. So Nangnang is definitely upset that

you've swapped places i'm never gonna use nang nang again he sucks and yes you get an extra attack so this is good so uh i'm just going to hang out with my cat friend in where hell i guess what are you what are you gonna do chill tiffany you've spent 10 to 15 solid minutes working away at that secret door, although the closed sealed wall, you just can't break it apart. None of you can. You're not exactly sure how to progress, but eventually Artis Simba, who maybe had like a shovel or something like that, leans back, sweat dripping from his brow,

leans back on his shovel and through pants says, I don't think we're going through this door. No. Well, there are a lot of secret entrances to other rooms. Maybe we can have a look for another way in. There's the Devil's Open Mall. Actually, no, wait. The lizard tells you that it is. Chame chameleon chameleon sorry the chameleon is that not type of a type of lizard yes but that's just like saying like the dog when it's a dalmatian

well just a bit of flavor adam all right the chameleon has told you that the mouth doesn't go anywhere you have three ways forward well four all right there's a bunch of different ways you haven't explored directly to your south there's a set of stairs which you do not know where they lead if you go back into the room with the gargoyles there is another pathway in that main room that you haven't explored you can go down the hole in the gargoyle room which you don't think is you think it's probably not the correct course of action not smart or you can go back down that spiral staircase that you left a couple rooms ago we can't just leave him um velindra do you know any spells that could help velindra

shakes her head i have many spells that could get us around the dungeon, but many of them are suppressed within the dungeon. If I attempted to transport us past this door, I fear it would only lead to us in a worse predicament than your friend. What do you think's happened to him? I could only hazard a guess. I would say that we should progress forwards. Perhaps we backtrack to the main chamber say that we should progress forwards. Perhaps we backtrack

to the main chamber, or we take these stairs. Okay, the stairs are new. Let's go for the stairs. A stone slab blocks the end of this corridor. Painted on the slab is an image of a gaunt male humanoid wearing a hooded rogue. His face is a mask of

stars. The figure's withered left hand is raised with its palm extended. You seen this before? The chameleon shakes his head. No. What if I gave him a voice like this? He's going to speak like this from now on. Because his tongue's so long.

Yeah. That is because my tongue's so long. Oh, it's tricky for him. Elindra steps forward and imitates the image before you. The stone slab slowly slides out of the way. Do you know what I love is how both Valindra and Artus just give zero fucks about our emotional well-being at this point because they're just done with our bullshit.

Oh, fair enough. Valindra turns around and says, We have encountered these before. The slab sinks into the floor, revealing a dusty passageway beyond. Relief carvings on the wall depict crowds of humanoids fleeing a black star in the sky, with rays of light extended from it to turn those they strike to dust. Valindra, uh, yeah, not sure. You're in a position where you can see velindra narrowing her eyes

artist simber makes like a sound does it look like the people are maybe in this room no the there are no corpses in the room can i ask a question adam if i were to describe the verb of what was taking place in this relief even though though I'm not in the room. Yeah. But just say I was. Yeah. Would I describe the verb as soulmongering? No, you would not. Feels very soulmongery. And is there some sort of star on the ceiling that I could avoid? You can't see. The room is, it's not really a maze, but the room has like a lot of twists and turns to it.

So there's a lot of room you can't see. We should stick together. Very well then. Who wishes to go in first? Art December draws his sword and lights a torch. I'll go first, he says. Oh, hang on. I got Kuba then.

I'm already in front. All right. You walk through first. Sorry. Can I just quickly change that? Instead of saying we should stick together, I'll say, follow me, and I'll start walking. You enter the room, followed by Artisimber, Valindra, Flask of Wine.

I think that's your entire posse at this point. And the lizard. The room is roughly divided by walls that kind of resemble an H, if that makes sense. There's kind of like a central area and then either side of the H. We're going to go clockwise around the outside, so left first.

A green stone face of devilish countenance protrudes from the wall. The devil's mouth is agape and filled with darkness. This goes so horny for devils. Valindra walks around the area and you hear her muttering underneath her breath her eyes flash silvery for a moment and she stops before the devil's face peering at it she says i would not touch this if i were you there is strong magic around it, transmutation. I would say there is some trickery to this mouth.

It's a good thing I don't know with you because I would have touched it. Is there something we could get from the mouth? Is it hiding something that could be useful to us? Do you approach the mouth? No. I'm brave. I'm not stupid. This woman is smarter than me, and I should bow to her. All right.

So are you asking her a question? Yes. Yes. It could be, but I would say not. I do not think there is anything but pain within that mouth. It's like such a dumb trap. Hey, here's the big evil man. But you would have touched it.

Get a good boy card. Fuck yes, you would have. I would have. That's great, Cass. Man, I was about to make fun of Aserak and I'm just making fun of me. Yeah, I think it's good that you're in the mirror realm at the moment. Time to reflect. Get another good boy card. Fuck off. Time to reflect. Get another good boy card.

Fuck off. Time to reflect. Shut up. As you continue to move around the room, you inevitably, because the room is just so tight, you come within five feet of that devil mouth. I duck. You duck, but you can hear whispering coming from the devil mouth.

Oh, I've dealt with this with that skull. What's it saying you just hear something malevolent coming from the mouth well i walk on by as you round the corner and you catch a glimpse of the middle of the h you see in this central open space a gold crown topped with a glittering black opal rests on a marble pedestal. Are you kidding me? Adam, I'm really angry. Is that one of the special treasures?

Valindra gestures to it and says, that would be the black opal crown. If I were to start with the group, I would have one of my special treasures. Artist Simber counters counters yes i i think it's something what did they say the archmage sadamore of nethriel uh legend speaks of how he saw the depths of humanity's evil and he he created the sphere of annihilation which is a an awful artifact a sphere a creature a creature, not a creature.

It's an entity that if anything touches it, they get sucked into it and they are irrevocably destroyed. There is no coming back from the sphere of annihilation. Adam, am I in the sphere of annihilation? Yes, he created it to consume creation. But yes, the black opal crown was once worn by this archmage who created the sphere of annihilation. There are some saying that they're connected,

that there's some magic that links them, but whether or not that's true is irrelevant. Anyway, that would explain what we saw in the mouth. Villainry nods. I would say so. I would say that what was in the mouth was a sphere of annihilation. Had any of us put our hands in, we would be dead. Hey, Cass, considering that the annihilation sphere is in the mouth

and the crown is not, I think you should take it for you, for good friend Pop. I was going to. Yes! I've already got the navel of the moon. Do you think it's safe to touch it? I know Pop really wanted this. I would guarantee that there is a trap associated with it.

It would not just sit here otherwise. Just going to put it out there. This is a hypothetical. This is a hypothetical. Just have a think. You free me from whatever hellscape mirror dimension I'm currently trapped in. Uh-huh. And we continue through the dungeon.

And then at some point in the dungeon, I learn that you saw the crown and know where it is and didn't get it. I turn to Ardis and Valindra and Flask of Wine. Mm-hmm. I know Pop really wanted this. Ardis Simber doesn't say anything, but he has become as stiff as a corpse. Well, if Pop were here, he'd just take it and we'd have to deal with whatever

happened. I want to get this for Pop, but I really understand if you guys don't want to do that. And I won't stop you from not. Do you guys... Do you want to get it for Pop? If you don't care enough, we won't get it.

He can get it himself later. If you collect the item, I will stand by you and back you up. But if we're voting to see who's going to collect the item, I'm going to vote no. Valindra seems more tempted by it. But you can also tell that she wants it herself. She doesn't want Pop to have it she wants it she says ultimately let us get the crown artist artist looks pale but not are you sure you he backs up he puts his back against the wall and knocks an arrow in his bow flask flask of wine wheezing softly flask you can you can step out you don't have to be here

flask of wine walks outside and now a quick word from our sponsor also hey dnd is fun but if you're wishing that we could hear jackson or zamet waxing poetic about video games they've played and give them a score based on a frankly baffling rating system I refuse to understand, then do I have news for you. Thumb Cramps is a show by Jackson, Zammett, Doucher, and occasionally Cass, where they, as my dad calls it, ignore Total Overdose, the most pivotal game of the early 2000s. So if you like the sound of that, or if you want to know why my dad keeps calling them total hacks then head on down to sanspantsradio.com and search for thumb cramps who's gonna grab the

crown me as you lift the crown off the pedestal you hear the two stone slabs i'm just gonna put it out it out there, Cass. I said to grab it. I didn't say just to grab it. Like, you could have sussed if they're, like, how to not make the trap go. Hey, look, Kubazan and I, we've got this. It's true. It's true. There were two exits to this room, and both of them seal shut with those stone slabs. And now there are none.

You'll shut with those stone slabs. And now there are none. You hear from the east, from the mouth, you hear something slimy and wet hit the ground twice. Feet, hopefully, and not two things. Artisemba and Valindra are standing back to back in the center near you. I ready my green flame blade. Tiffany, you take six and then 13 points of damage as both of the creatures fix you with a literal and figurative withering stare holy shit they

can petrify you feel magical malevolent energy washing over you and then it is your turn however you feel an aura of annihilation washing off them onto you you take a further 10 points of damage also uh their death gaze continues you're going to need to make two constitution saving throws oh these are the action do you know what i'm glad i'm in the mirror oh shut. You take 19 points of damage. Tiffany, you may now have your turn. Okay. There's two of them, one on each end. I've never used my circlet of blasting before.

Once a day, it allows you to cast a spell called Scorching Ray, which is a spell that is quite powerful and famously good against undead. I don't even know if these creatures technically count as undead. Oh, no, they do. Okay. You can see that. What are these creatures? Don't roll if I know.

I'm in a fucking mirror world. I'm rolling if Tiffany knows. She's clever. She wouldn't get in that situation. Tiffany, you know that these creatures are Bodaks. Bodak is the undead remains of someone who revered Orcus, which is an evil god. Basically, someone who revered an evil god.

Who? Devoid of life and soul, it exists only to cause death. A Bodak retains vague impressions of its past life. It seeks out both its former allies and its former enemies to destroy them, as its warped soul seeks to erase anything connected to its former life. Even nature despises Bodak's. The sun burns away a Bodak's tainted flesh. The creature's gaze lays waste to the living.

Anyone a Bodak slays with its gaze withers, its face frozen in a mask of terror. Hey, that's what you'd be having right now. The monster's mere presence is so unnatural that it chills the soul. Animals untrained for war instinctively flee just before a Bodak arrives. The soul of a creature that becomes a Bodak is so damaged that it is unfit

for most forms of magical resurrection. Only a wish spell or similar can return a Bodak to its former life. The Bodak does not require air food drink or sleep so if i if i don't look at it can it not you can avert your gaze but that'll be that won't really start taking effect until your next turn but yes you can avert your gaze okay um i would like to use my scorching ray power on the one closest to me unless i can hit both you cast three rays you can hurl one yep no you could you get three attacks with scorching ray you can hurl it at both of them if you want

it might be smarter to concentrate fire though well figurative and literally figurative because it might be smarter to hit all three on one and literally because it is a fire attack ah yes no it's better to have only one chance instead of two chances of being petrified into stone. I would like to cast all three on the one closest to me. That's fair. And then try and avert my gaze. Now, your first two hit and then the third one misses.

Can I have advantage on the third one? You certainly can. You will still miss, unfortunately. That is very sad. What if you had a plus d4? She could hit with that. You hit. Hey!

Adam, I have a question. It's unrelated to this fight, but a little bit related to this fight. So you said that the Bodaks, their souls are, like, fucked or something. Yeah. Because of evil gods, and that they do not need to eat, sleep, or drink. Yes. So I don't need to eat, sleep, or drink, and you said my soul was broken. Am I a Bodak?

You deal 30 points of damage to the nearest one. Oh, fuck. Pop, you take 30 points of damage. I'm kidding. Oh, my God. You son of a bitch. Oh, my God. I'm kidding.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Artis Simber fires four arrows in quick succession. You can see that he's going as rapidly. He's moving as quickly as his fingers will allow. And, Tiffany, you can maybe also see panic in his eyes. He does not like this situation one little bit. He warned you about this.

He could have left. Yeah, but he's not that kind of person. Are you seriously fucking criticizing him for standing by you? God damn it. I'm not criticizing him. It was very kind of him to stand by, but I asked I said so many times you don't have to.

I'm really grateful. I'm really grateful. Shifting the blame. I'm really grateful that he's here. Artisimba drops one of the bodaks with your help. He drops the one that you were striking. So after three bursts of fire and three arrows actually hit, the creature topples over backwards, properly dead. And it's Valindra's turn.

I'm not even going to roll. She just deals with the other one. There's so many spells she has that she could do for this. They can't hurt her. They can only do necrotic damage. She's not just immune to it. It heals her. She's so strong.

You deal with the two Bodaks. Valindra gives like a, hmm, I was expecting more of a challenge, I suppose. I stand there bleeding, I guess, and say, yeah. Artis Sembros may be bandaging one of your arms. It doesn't actually help. Like, it doesn't give you any hit points, but it's like all he can do. Thank you. And thank you for taking that other one out i think who are you talking to i both of them i thank them both individually for their help hey have the they both just nod and you get heavy

mom and dad vibes from them in my head i'm like two moms god i'm the luckiest girl in the world dad vibes what are you talking about i've been told that people are and aren't moms mums. God, I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I'm from having none of them too. I'm from having dad vibes. What are you talking about? I've been told that people are and aren't mums. I'm not sure about dads and I would never betray my one father. Only to put you on a different ship to teach you about dads. Well, no, to be fair, you know everything you need to know about dads.

Yes. Dads would never show warmth and affection in a way that mums do because dads don't know how to do that. I've had a dad. I haven't had a mum. Nice. No. So. After your little ordeal, you walk back to the stone slabs that have sealed up.

And you see painted on the inside of the slab is a male humanoid wearing a hooded cloak, once again with stars where his face should be. The figure holds up his right arm, which is severed neatly at the elbow. Valindra Clucks. Clucks. holds up his right arm, which is severed neatly at the elbow. Valindra clucks. Clucks? Like that. What happened to the Bodaks?

Valindra heaped their corpses in the room. They're there, though. We could try cutting one of the Bodaks' arms off and just recreate the statue with the Bodak, yeah. Yeah? You could attempt? Yes. I mean, mean i'm not there i'm just saying yeah as well are you doing that tiffany yeah it's grisly work you do a decent job of it like you get it roughly right and then you kind of hold the bodak in the right position you're not sure if you're doing it wrong if

there's some other magic to it or if the tablet requires not one of the bodaks but whatever the reason is it doesn't work i really don't i would imagine the the magic can tell if it is alive or not i don't want to lose an arm. Let's try the other door. No, they're both identical. So you literally can't get out of this space. I think I know what the sphere of annihilation is for. Artis Simber starts nearly hyperventilating. He's just doing deep in and out breaths.

As he does that, you see he takes off one of his gloves. He stuffs the glove into his pocket and then he starts undoing his greaves and armor on his right arm. Artus? No. You're left-handed. You're an

archer. Stop. Do you have any magic to heal? Things like this? Not toer, stop. Belinda, do you have any magic to heal? Things like this? Not to heal, no. Most of my magic does not concern healing. What about putting someone back together if they fell apart a bit? I can only put someone back together post-mortem, if you understand my meaning. Hey bud, hey bud, Do you need to use a bow

and arrow? Just ask yourself this. What would Pop Mandarin do? He'd lose a fucking arm. I can't let Artis do it. This is so good. Artis Simba, from his right hand, takes off his

wedding ring. Stop! Stop! Stop! Valindra, um, well, if you're kind of undead, could you maybe fix yourself? To put something back together like that is beyond me. You would need a cleric

at the very least. Um. Um. The door might not work for me. I am undead. But you came in. Eric, at the very least. Is she going to do it? The door might not work for me. I am undead. But you came in. That is true.

It worked for me on the way in. You're not 100% sure whether or not that was an honest mistake. You just don't know. That's all I'm saying. You don't know if it was one way or the other. You just know. All you know is that you don't know whether or not it was an honest mistake. Put the crown on.

Oh, yeah. First of all, I wrap my body around Artis Simba's right arm. And then I put the crown on. All right, you put the crown on. Nothing happens. You feel no rush of power. Flask? You can't hear him.

It's a thick stone slab. You just won't be able to communicate. See, the thing is, the thing is, I'm really brave at the moment. Yeah. Recklessly so. I am fearless and I'm not afraid at the moment. Yeah. Recklessly so. I am fearless and I'm not afraid to take great risks. So what happens, does it look like it has to be a specific side of the arm? The mural on the stone slab, the painting on the stone slab,

is definitely holding up its right arm. The other side was holding up its left arm velindra imitated with her left arm and it opened it might need to be exact oh no i look at the chameleon oh oh i don't say anything but i do look at the chameleon. You can tell the chameleon does not get the significance of your look. Good. That's probably for the best. Oh, fuck.

I glance at the fairy in the cage. She's incorporeal. She can't lose an arm. I cast alter self on myself to make it look like I'm missing my right arm. You try, but it doesn't work, unfortunately. I try. You can tell when you hold up your arm, you can tell that there's like some sort of magical trigger that goes about you or like a magical sensor that searches you essentially,

like a scanner of some sort. You also understand that there's like some if you were smarter in the ways of magic there could have been some way that you could have tricked it but you do not know enough to be able to do that velindra any ideas i know it'll work i'm just not strong enough with velindra's help you manage to open the stone slab. It slides back down. Artis screams from the other side of the room from where he's put his arm in. Everyone quickly leaves the room. You're standing with flask of wine.

Artis Sember wipes away tears from his eyes that he had been concealing until now, puts his ring and glove back on. I imagine that all of us are standing there in silence. All Artis and I just in stunned silence. Valindra doesn't seem to mind too much. Oh, no, no, that wouldn't have affected her in any way. But Flask, could Flask tell something horrible just happened? Not really, no.

Flask of Wine is pretty exhausted himself still and also is not really that wise in the ways of other people well then i say we got it flask that is good to hear may i see yeah i hold it out it is very pretty it would be worth quite a price or it would be very pretty in a collection he hands it back to you i think it will be very beautiful in the collection. He hands it back to you. I think it will be very beautiful in the collection. Should we try the door again? What do you mean by the door? The one where Pop is.

You return to it. Unfortunately, it's still sealed shut. You can't even see the marks you made previously. Good. When you inspect that door, though, you can hear the sound of sliding stone coming from the stairway that you just left the room that you just left if you return you can see that both the the room is reset essentially okay so now you can pass through it if you want oh right of course

the room had that north exit that you came through and it's got a western one as well. Let's see what was in the other side. You stroll through and into a long, dark corridor. Art of Simba, probably still behind you, I guess, has his torch out. So, well, actually you have darkvision, so you don't need his torch, but he needs the torch. He's the only one in the party who does. Oh no, the lizard can't see otherwise as well. The lizard trusts me, I can only assume. Yes. You travel down that dark corridor. You can see that there's a turnoff to the right and you can tell that that turnoff to the right exits into the room with the gargoyles.

So you know that this room links up to that passageway where the gargoyles are. You instead keep going west and you find yourself in a dusty room, 15 feet square and empty except for an ornate rectangular mirror mounted on the wall opposite the room's only exit. Hey, it's my house. It's your house. Come on inside. Get me out. I go and have a look in the mirror because as you approach, Valindra puts a hand on your shoulder i would not do that if i were you why this is a mirror of life trapping if you approach the mirror will trap your soul within it would have a command word to deactivate it and a command word to activate it but uh i would not know what they are i could try try to find out. May as well. There might be something good in there. She approaches the mirror, and as she does so, she averts her gaze.

When she gets to the mirror, she inspects. She shakes her head. I cannot deduce the command words from the mirror itself. The only way to deactivate it is if we smashed it. Artisembra calls out, could there be something on the other side? I do not think so, but potentially. It is

stuck to the wall with glue. A magical glue, not regular. Not just regular glue. Asrek had to skimp on some costs. What do you reckon we should do? Artisembra says. With smashing it, do i know anything about mirrors magic commit mirror comma life trapping does she mean does she mean if we smash it the

mirror will be destroyed or it'll be deactivated it'll it'll stop its effect anyone trapped well you both know velindra mentions if you don know, anyone trapped within will be dumped outside here. Well, there could be people stuck in there, right? There could be, yes. I asked the chameleon if he knows of anyone who's been lost. The chameleon shakes its head. I don't know. Anyone could be in there. Well, we've already freed a genie.

Is there a rock on the ground I can piff? Sure. You hurl a rock. Oh, no. Tiffany, you take two points of damage. Oh! Does the rock bounce off in here? But I'm so strong.

The rock bounces off and strikes you in the forehead. No, keep trying to save me. Valindra. Can someone take over this throwing task? Because it would be embarrassing to ask. Valindra. Can someone take over this throwing task? Because it would be embarrassing to ask. Valindra says, be prepared for a fight. There will be creatures coming out and some of them will be friendly, though some might not. She slams her hand onto the mirror.

And as she does so, she casts the shatter spell. The mirror explodes into a thousand tiny shards. With that, wispy, smoky beings begin to form in the chamber. My ghost! Oh my god. Nine figures resolve out of the mirror. A human, a Cholten, you can tell. He looks ragged.

The moment he appears, his eyes start darting around the room. He has, like, stubble all over his face. He looks like haggard and like he's been through the ringer. He's like slowly rubbing his hands over each other and you can see that his mouth is moving, but no words are coming out. The smoke resolves into nothing. So a second like ball of smoke hits the ground and then you see nothing there. Except a moment later, you can tell that there's a shifting through the air. Something invisible came out of the mirror. Are they corporal? Corporal? What did I say? Corporal. It's a rank. Are they in the army, Adam? No. Good. You don't know if it's

corporeal or not. I'm not there. Does Arnus fight? No, you are there. The third one is Pop. I'm not a ghost. I'm a man. Yes. Yeah, cool.

Well, you're a tortle. Well, I'm me, though. Well, you're a tortle goat. I'm corporeal. Yep. The next creature to appear is a troll, a giant frenzied troll. The first thing it says when it appears is, Hungry. Giant frenzied troll. The first thing it says when it appears is hungry.

Then a drow appears. His eyes dart around and he also looks suspicious and confused. What, what, what, what is all he's able to say? Then you see a human adventurer of some sort. He's wearing a tabard marked with a yellow banner. Hey, we found one. Hey. The next one is a giant four-armed gargoyle. You remember the motionless ones from atop the-

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Then a human female, a Chilton of some sort. She wears furs and armor that mark her as someone who was probably imprisoned a long time ago. You can tell that she's wearing stuff that was popular, like, centuries or decades ago. Very cool. And finally is a Sturge.

So I don't know if you know what a Sturge is, but it's kind of like a D&D wasp or mosquito. It's about as big as a cat, basically. Imagine a mosquito as big as a cat. I'd love to. What a world. What an awful, awful world. All right. So let's go to initiative.

Why? The room becomes absolute chaos. Oh. What a casual. Oh, that's literally the only thing pop says so it basically happens kind of at once is that right adam yeah you all kind of appear i don't know i see you guys and it's like oh and then it kicks off will our heroes rise out of this chaos like the phoenix or burn like the eagle find out next time on once upon a time in zombie plagued chult thanks for listening if you want to help support this show and all the other shows on

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