D&D is For Nerds - Zombie Plagued Chult III #17 Cogs of Hate

Episode Date: January 30, 2021

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Sands Pants Radio, Australia's only five-thumbed podcast network. Welcome to Season 3, Episode 17 of Zombie Plagued Chol. Previously... Just because I'm an archaeologist, do I recognise how old the clothes she's wearing? With my history knowledge or something? Yeah, absolutely. You would place her pretty accurately around the fall of Oumu. As this happens,

I just want to be like, Pop, are you about to kill us? Just, I don't want to tell you what to, just wait a sec, because we've got to gather our things before we head off to kill. We've got to prepare for a battle, etc. I just want to look at you, Tiffany, and say, do you not speak Cholter? No. Hello, my name is Beef Longsteel. I'm a member of

the Yellow Company. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Maybe barricading it and hopefully he's there when we get back. Maybe a monster will get him. Or we pay for him to definitely die in the next fight. But it would appear that that true center thinks that 11 gold pieces is worth more than a human being. Telepathically, both of you hear a voice in your mind. Hey guys, what's up?

There is a very big creature under there. Don't go in the water. Do not go in the water. He was so kind, but he's got the pop thing where he's got a bad part of him. After getting directions from the giant creature in the lake, it would seem that really the only way before you is one single corridor. You can see on the floor of that corridor is that

slime that you were warned about. Alright, we don't touch that. No one's allowed to touch any of it. Alright. I mean, Valindra, you probably could. She doesn't really respond to that. I mean, just, like, empirically she could. Does anyone have a bucket or something?

Just so if one of us does touch the slime, we can breathe the water in the bucket. No? What if I have a bucket? No, I don't. I don't believe anyone in your mind. Oh, no, we have water skins. You have water skins, yeah.

With water in them? Yeah, you'd probably want running out of water, but you would have some. Cool. That's enough. So you can just jam the tube down your throat. I don't understand how breathing works. I also don't understand how breathing water works.

Yeah, I don't really know that one either. I can hold my breath for like four hours. Oh, yeah, you're fine. I'm fine. I'll just hold my breath. You go through first. Yeah, I guess I do. You find yourself at the backside of a secret door.

You can tell it's a secret door because, well, you've seen the backside of enough secret doors by now. So you open that and you find yourself in another corridor. The corridor stretches to the left and to the right. To your right, you see this hole is choked with dust and cobwebs. To your right, you see this hole is choked with dust and cobwebs, but up ahead, flickering lights dimly illuminate a larger hole running perpendicular to this one. Where the two holes meet, words have been scrawled on the ceiling in dry blood. You need to get closer to see. That's worth checking out.

I can't imagine we would have waited. You just would have walked up to them. No, I mean, like, all bloody words. Otherwise, to the left, the corridor just stretches off into darkness. And we know because of what we've been told that the left corridor is what would lead us to the cogs, yeah? Well, just because we can see where the cogs were. Yeah, you would know just from basic. I wouldn't even need to make you roll.

You can just tell that the way left is kind of your way forwards, you would imagine. So you step beneath the section of roof that has writing on it. Looking up, you see the words Awaken Napaka. Awaken Napaka. Napaka. Does that name familiar? Do I recognize it?

Yes, it absolutely. It's the name of the queen. You remember you raided her tomb a while ago. Waking the packer. Lekanu, ma'am. Ma'am, what the fuck? She steps forwards. Do you have the son we gave you?

She holds it forth. Do you know if that has anything to do with that? I point to the blood words behind my head. The son has no meaning to me, she says. What about the words? That is my queen's name. But. We woke her up.

She tried to kill us. Now she's dead. Whoever wrote this, we did what they said, I guess, technically. There's maybe something good in here. Do you peer into the wider corridor? Adam. We've already started walking, I guess. Would you look to your left or to your right?

I would go in and I'd look around to the right. As you step into the room, you look left and you look right and you see large puddles of grey slime, the one you were told about before, spread across the floor of this 10-foot-wide, gently sloping hallway. Candles flicker on riveted sconces, casting dim light across a sequence

of sculpted reliefs depicting humanoids with bestial heads kneeling before a black star. At the lower end of the hall, a thick purple drape hangs wall to wall. At the upper end, the hallway terminates. I'm immediately distrustful of that curtain.

We've had some bad curtain experiences, that's fair enough. You may approach the curtain if you wish, or leave it alone if you wish. So down the other end, it just ends? Yep, it just ends as far as you can see. What would it just end? This seems... I've been in a lot of tombs. This seems important.

That seems like a trap. I want to check it out. Could be something helpful. We need all the help we can get at this point. Okay, you first, but please be careful of the slime. Oh, mate, I'm not going to touch the slime. The slime is spread pretty liberally throughout this corridor, but you could still navigate it without too much trouble.

Yeah, I want to do that. And I want to head towards the west. So you approach the high end of the corridor. Yeah, as it slopes up. As you approach, you... Yeah, you've got decent enough eyes to see that there's a small secret crawlway. You can see that it is hidden behind a bas-relief depicting a crocodile-headed humanoid holding up a trapezoidal chest you're not sure except you can

tell that there's like a secret passage behind this but it's sealed it's just behind this statue you're not sure the method of opening it well you, you could even just break it. Adam. I mean, I could. However. You haven't had a close look at the statue yet. You've just noticed that there's like a gap. Yeah, a statue there. Yeah.

I wonder if there's a sacred door down this end. Oh, I want to go and inspect it and see if I can work out the mechanism. You approach. You can have a little check. Yeah, you do pretty well. You pop it open. You tell that the trapezoidal chest that the statue is holding,

there's a keyhole within the chest that you determine is real. You're not sure what key it requires, but you, without too much effort, with a set of lockpicks, are able to just pop it open. A little crawlway appears that you could shoulder your way through if you wanted to.

If a crawlway appears and out of my crawl away, I'm still very brave. I follow her immediately. I'm going to say Ardicembra comes with, but the rest of the NPCs stay outside. They've got no sex in this. There's not a lot of room here. Yeah. I like that Ardice is like, I'm going to follow you

because I don't trust you because you suck. Yeah, he's sus of us. He should be. We're not good. God, we suck. Oh, my God. I would be so annoyed at us. Yeah.

Hey, how good would it be if you were just a nice, decent man and all you wanted was to get your wife back and then go home and instead you partnered up with daddy issues and issues. Which ones? Which? Oh, and we confronted with the one man that you wanted to kill more in this world. We let him live. Oh, yeah.

No, that's a choice. Yeah. You come out of the crawlway into a smallish room. Well, it feels quite small at first, but then you realize that the room is actually dominated by a giant stone juggernaut on wheels. You can see that it is carved

to look like a ram of some sort. Not the animal, a ram. Like a battering ram. On the western wall of this room you see that there is a shelf, and on the shelf a lustrous spiked ruby as big as a human fist sits just waiting to be taken.

Adam, does it look like any of the following items? Oh, right. Of course. The Eye of Zoltek, if you will, or the Skull Chalice? Well, it's definitely not the Skull Chalice. Hey, I don't know what Skull Chalice looks like. It could just be a name. It could be. You know. You recognize the eye of Zoltek

When you see it Oh my god, that's also the thing that could bring The ghost Latin chick back to life For centuries, this fist-sized ruby Summounted the Great Pyramid At Nexal, capital city Of the Mazdican Empire The gem is a relic of the cult of Zoltek

And its dagger-like point was plunged into the hearts of countless sacrifices. My mouth is dry. I'm so excited. Do I recognize what it is? Probably not. You are really, you actually rolled better than Pop, but Pop unfortunately gets a pretty hefty bonus

for being a archaeologist oh baby it's a it's not an obscure item necessarily but to someone like you it is obscure simply because it's not your topic of expertise yeah it's not working oh you would know it's not your dad all ever from this role you can determine that whatever it is it is a definitely an artifact oh like one of the ones Pop's probably after? Oh, I mean more like something rare and expensive. So one of the ones that Pop's probably after. Yeah.

Whatever it is, it is rare and expensive. If Pop reacts in any way as any of the ways he has been. Oh, my God. What is it? It's, oh, wow. What is it? So you remember we're after those things. I've got the moon.

Navel of the moon. We've got to get that crown back off of Alindra. Uh- So you remember we're after those things. I've got the moon. Navel of the moon. We've got to get that crown back off of Elyndra. Uh-huh. We have to. Yep. Well, this is the Eye of Zoltek. We can help our friend. What friend?

Both of you hear a dull thumping come from down the crawlway. Two or three solid thumps. Oh, this? Yes. Was that this? Yes. Was that you? No, that definitely wasn't me. It came from back where our friends are. All right, ladies and gentlemen, get ready for some fun.

Oh, no. Adam, I grabbed the ruby. All right. No, wait, wait, wait. Adam, I'm wise now. Uh-huh. Sure. I just sussed the ruby out a bit first before I move it.

Just want to make sure that I'm not about to set off a really bad trap. I would say this is more of Tiffany's area of expertise than yours. You do a decent job of it. You suss around the ruby. You detect no traps, obvious ones at least. I always. I'll check it out. Thank you.

You are fairly certain, you have a very high level of certainty that there is no traps around this. You think you have done a very decent job of surmounting any traps that might have occurred. I think this is the intended, like the designer's intended way of getting

this object. I grab it. Nothing happens. Can I have your horns? Right after we help the Starfallen. Right, well, she's in your, let's go. Come on. Don't you want to see if our friends are okay? Well, yeah, they're fine.

I mean, they've got bloody all-powerful bloody Valindra with them, so probably fine. I take out the Starfallen. Mm-hmm. Hey. Hello. Hello. I take out the Starfallen. Mm-hmm. Hey. Hello. I have amazing news. The figure within the lantern puts their hands up against one of the glass panels

and looks out at you and the object in your hand. Her normally very sad face lights up for the first time that you've ever seen her. The lantern glows slightly brighter than it normally does. Tiffany, you feel a warm sensation down in your heart. Her sudden change from gloomy to full of expression, color, vibrancy, happiness. It's infectious. Incredibly so. You, for a brief brief moment forget where you are

forget why you're here all you can think of is how incredibly lovely it is to see this face this is new oh he's giving us nice things so that when it all goes really horribly wrong. It feels badder. Hi. She says. How do I help you? How do I use it? Her face furrows and you feel like the lantern like lose its vibrancy. She's not, you know, upset anymore, but like she's lost that

immediate surge of happiness. She backs away from the glass, shakes her head and says, I don't know. Maybe Bel don't know. Maybe Valindra will know. Do I know? Actually, you. We don't need that fucking witch.

Theoretically, you are aware of the rituals that the eye was used in, and you can kind of cobble together your idea of how you think this should work. So, Adam, what is that idea? How do I think this should work? So, you think you need to break the lantern with the eye of Zoltek. I reckon we have to smash the lantern with the ruby. I'm fairly confident. The ruby is shaped kind of like a dagger. So the idea is that you pierce people, like you stabbed people with it.

It was used for sacrificing, and it's basically a dagger made out of a ruby. Are you sure? It powers from its piercing abilities. Are you sure? Because I don't know what will happen to her if this is wrong. Horns, do you trust me? You can explain the technical details if you want. I do. So

essentially the Eye of Zoltek pins the soul in place to the eye itself, and then the soul is at the mercy of whoever is wielding it. Now, her soul is trapped within the lantern, and when it is freed, she would be in trouble of being sent to

the soulmonger, but because you pin her there with the Eye of Zoltek, she cannot escape. And because you have no ill will to her, you can simply allow her soul to re-manifest itself with a new body. Theoretically. That is what Pop believes. I do not say theoretically. I say with confidence as though it is 100% what is going to happen. Okay.

Oh, wow. Do I know that it's theoretical? I do not say theoretically. I say with confidence as though it is 100% what is going to happen. Okay. Oh, wow. Do I know that it's theoretical? You know that this is something that the Eye of Zoltek has not designed. All right. So the Eye of Zoltek's power is all theoretical. Yeah. This is all just stories. All of these artifacts are theoretical.

Yeah. You don't know if its power is real or not. If its power is real, then this is probably how it would work. Okay. I omit that part. Oh, yeah. So does the Starfallen hear this whole conversation? I hope she does.

She can hear this, yeah? If you're not hiding the lantern or anything. I keep her in. So after Pop goes through all of the not theory, I turn to her. I'll do it if you're happy for me to have a go. If you think this is how it works. Pawns, let me do it. If I'm right, great.

But if I'm wrong, there is no way on this earth you could wear that on your conscience. Are you okay with that? I ask her. It's not my choice. She nods slowly. Yes. Okay.

I pass it over to Pop. All right, here we go. I just should have looked at Arda so to see if he's watching me do a nice thing. Arda's watching, but his face is inscrutable. You're not sure what he's feeling or thinking. I hope it's good. I hope he's proud of me. I hope Dad's proud of me.

All right. Greg, I know we haven't spoken a lot much, but if you do care or exist, it would be fairly impolite to let this soul vanish. Alright, here we go. I stab the lantern at him. You bring the Eye of Zoltek

down upon the ghost lantern, shattering the glass on it and warping the metal holding it. The soul of Starfallen, the tiny figure within, is pinned beneath the Eye of Zoltek and then slammed onto the stone floor beneath. The ghost lantern shatters in all directions away from you

with, like, the force of a hand grenade. Pop, you barely manage to keep the eye pinned to the ground. You can see the soul writhing and struggling beneath the eye. And for a moment, you forget exactly, or you're unsure of exactly what to do. But you realize that the soul is not trying to escape to get to the, it's not being dragged by the soulmonger. You realize that the soul is trying to coalesce and form.

And so you just bring the eye back up and without like any real fanfare just with a wink she is lying beneath you you are over her holy fuck i push pop off and help her up with my hands. Her hair moves like a summer breeze. As she stands up, both of you feel the warmth of a summer's day wash over you. She looks like an elf, but she is not an elf. Whatever she is, is otherworldly. She has like a presence that bewitches just innately. And as she gets up, you realize that she's started talking but you weren't paying

attention uh you like kind of snap yourself out of it i don't i'm crying you like snap yourself back to reality and you hear the end of her deep thanks she holds she holds like your hand pop you first she holds your hands in her hands, and it feels like you've taken both of your hands and plunged them into a pile of autumn leaves. Oh, my God. She kisses you on the cheek, and it feels like a summer breeze gently washing against you.

I'm crying again, Adam. She does the same to you, Tiffany. The entire time she's thanking you profusely. Thank you've helped us i i go in for a hug she she hugs you back oh my god what does it feel like it it feels it feels the hug is full of warmth and light you feel invigorated like you just woke up it's the beginning of the day you've had a wonderful night's rest, and there's a beautiful summer day before you. She gives thanks to Artis Sembra as well, just as well as she gave to either of you. Both of you notice that Artis Sembra seems largely unaffected.

As in, like, he welcomes the thanks, and he talks with her normally. But not by the whole summer breeze. He doesn't seem to be, like, affected by her the same way you two are okay i'm not even mad that i'm affected by her because this is nice i'm still crying i want to hold her hand um both of you gain bardic inspiration that's awesome so in the next uh one hour either one of you can actually you know what bardic inspiration takes the form of this instead both you draw a good boy card yeah yeah yeah thank you thank you both so much she says her voice tinkles like a babbling brook what are you i am a ladron she says of the fey wild wow we are a race that is long-lived but rare now in the world the elves are kin of ours so you can see me as akin to one

i don't like elves i want to become this this All my life I've wanted to not be a tiefling, and now I know what I want to be. You want to help us kill a lich? Yes, of course. I will help you on your journey. Thank you. Great. I go for the handhold.

The handhold? Yeah, just like for a bit. All right, she holds your hand. Okay, and I let go i'm nervous what what what exactly do you what's the implication of the handhold i want to touch her again it was good it's like when someone says something you just grab their hand for a moment you're like yeah then you let go because you got nervous she's so pretty she yeah she holds your hand maybe she like turns around and like gently touches at your the leather brace that you use to hide your disfigurement and you see like a

furrowed worried expression across her face like she's concerned for you i feel i feel something drop from my throat to my guts oh no, no. I forgot I was like this. I feel terrible once more. Ah, yes. Status quo. Some magic about her calms your emotions. Like the spell calm emotions. Oh.

Do I also feel calm? No. Oh. I just, is anyone looking at me? Anyone paying attention to me? I just, is anyone looking at me? Anyone paying attention to me? How obvious is what you're about to do?

I'm just about to do a little bit of thing on my breath. Is anyone listening? Is anyone paying attention to me? We're all just transfixed by magic oil. What do you whisper? All right, Greg. I owe you one. No one hears that.

As the Star Fallen speaks to you, Tiffany, she says, I'm so sorry for your wound. If given time, I might be able to help you with it. Really? Yes. Really? Yes. I'm sorry.

Thank you. She turns around, either hearing what you said or reading your mind, and she says, I could help you too. Right. Wait, what do you mean? The curse afflicting you, she says, and... Goats, yeah. And your wounds as well. I kind of forgot about them.

It's just sort of part of my thing. Please, I owe you my life again. Let me be the balm that soothes your wounds. Okay. I don't have words for how much that would mean. There's only one thing I want in the world more than this, and honestly, this will help that. Artist Simber, standing by the hall, says,

well, unless we want to prod further in the room, I suggest we move forwards. We move forwards. The Starfallen, I put her behind me. I will protect her. She is too precious. We'll make a Starfallen sandwich. No one will hurt her.

As you walk out, it's more like a caster. It's like a glance around the room. Talk to my little cat man in my head. Anything else about this? That seemed like an easy win. Sometimes you just get what you want. Yeah, that definitely happens to me a lot. Just hearing advice and being like, that's objectively not right.

You return back to the corridor. You see back out in the corridor, Lucanu is holding aloft the skull of a skeleton. It has the final key. Oh, can I have that? She hands it to you. I was told we are looking for this. We are. That's the last one we need, actually.

Flask of Wine lying sort of up the back just puts an arm up to gesture that he was the one who told everyone to capture the skeleton thank you flask good work um where's uh where's uh is valindra nearby the when she gets into the corridor yeah valindra's here when she gets into the corridor the star fallen gravitates towards flask of wine she knows he's the best one no when she gets to him she puts a uh well how closely do you follow star fallen oh yes yes i basically glued to her side uh-huh she helps flask of wine up and as she does so you can hear her singing softly to herself as she does so you see that flask of wine's injuries slowly knit themselves back together. And when he stands up completely, you see she lets go of him and

he stands steady for the first time in days. Flask of Wine takes a deep breath in and out and you see that he is standing and moving fine. She's so powerful. and out and you see that he is standing and moving fine. Hmm. Right. She's so powerful. She's, it's good to have someone powerful who's good in the group. Tiffany, you realised you were crying when she started singing. Oh.

You all right? Horses, you all right? Yes. Pop, you were paying attention to Valendra? I don't know where she is. Anytime I'm near her, Adam, from now on until Shigambi is out of my head, I am paying so close attention to her. She is looking at one of the candles in this hallway.

She's regarding it with, like, a casual disinterest. Like, she's just looking it over like she's trying to figure out what it is, but she has no real investment in this. Shadow mantle. Yes. You done looking at that crown yet? She hands it back to you. It is of no consequence.

Do I believe that, Adam? I mean, I don't. You're fairly certain she has no reason to lie to you. If she thought there was power to it, she'd just hold on to it. Why would she not? Still rare, though. Look good in one of them places where they put good things. The cultists are simply overzealous.

I genuinely find that's the case with all cultists. I feel like that's the underpinning. I feel like zeal is the underpinning quality of a cult. In a world where gods are real, sometimes cultists might have the right idea. Sure. I've never met a cultist that wasn't a bit of a fuckhead, though. Yeah, who isn't a fuckhead?

I mean, no, that's fair. You come back, she's good. gotta let her live like her head north to the middle cog yes yes we head north i introduced starfallen to everyone the starfallen greets everyone fairly warmly with the exception of velindra velindra and the star fallen kind of neither of them really say it's like all right the star fallen heals flask of wine she goes to lukanu lukanu regards her as someone who is maybe of a fey ancestry figuratively and game mechanics wise yeah uh but uh lukanu assesses that she is not necessarily an incredibly strong fighter. So by Lucanu's form of definition of beauty and impressiveness, she is uninteresting.

Biff Longsteel bows before her and maybe utters like an oath, something to the effect of like, I swear to uphold, protect, yada, yada, yada, that sort of stuff. He's a wanker. Oh, Biff. His name is Biff. Time for him to die. Talad the Drow gives the Starfallen kind of like a very aggressive look and steps back if the Starfallen moves forwards to say hello.

Yeah, Pop, you are aware. And Tiffany, yeah, yeah pop you are aware and tiffany yeah both of you are aware the drow regard other types of elves as lesser and distasteful it's kind of like a cultural thing they're incredibly racist eladrin as basically a type of elf are also seen as inferior or lesser. It's like a racial hatred, essentially. Sounds bad. Hey, Tlad. Yes? Be nice or I'll put you back in that fucking mirror. You broke the mirror, Tlad says. Yeah, you can go in whole or you can go in pieces.

Tlad says and does nothing. He just steps away. And then the Starfallen and Valindra eye each other off like they're rivals, almost. She outmumbles? She greets Mumbles. She unfortunately cannot cure him of his affliction, but he does stop mumbling. At least he quietens down. Now his name's Quiet.

Ah, the shut-up spell. Now his name is Quiet Mumbles. She just has a calming presence. Literally a magical calming presence. A presence that doesn't, you don't feel, well, it calms any paranoia feelings you might have. But it's not like malevolent. You know that much at least.

It's like to calm you down to relax you. Yeah. It's the nice kind of calm. Yeah. All right, we're ready to keep going. Let's go through. Hey, yeah, horns. Yeah.

Sometimes. Treasure. Good. I don't think I ever said it was bad. No, I'm just, you know, you sometimes. I think the thing we're looking for is technically a treasure. No, but, like, there have been times where you haven't been happy with my decisions to pursue objects.

And in this case, the object has delivered us, you know, a good thing. So maybe my judgment isn't terrible all the time. You're right. Your very low percentage of strike rate has changed my mind. A pungent stench fills this pentagonal room the walls of which are covered with riveted sheets of iron a wild garden full of sickly plants and rotting compost takes up most of the interior and a narrow path hugs the walls between the two exits jutting from the middle of the garden is a six-foot-tall rusty sprinkler. In the ceiling above the sprinkler, a ten-foot-wide shaft leads straight up.

Can we see any slime in this room? No. The foliage here is very thick, though, but you can't make out anything of interest in the room. You could try searching through the compost and the foliage if you wanted to. Otherwise, there's one exit to this room. I'm sus to search through it because if we stumble upon slime, I'm going to power through checking as I go but not exploring, if that makes sense.

I want to go through, maybe go up and inspect. You want to check the traps. Yeah, inspect the sprinkler, see what's happening, but sense. I want to go through, maybe go up and inspect. You want to check the traps. Yeah, inspect the sprinkler, see what's happening, but I don't want to. You inspect the sprinkler. You can tell that it's not spraying water into the room, but you're not sure what the substance is. It's some sort of alchemical substance that it would spray into the room.

Possibly acid? I think we should leave immediately. Whatever it is is it seems hazardous whatever's coming out of there isn't good for us we need to go all right run to the side let's go be careful everyone fuck don't touch anything you head to the next cog an acidic stench fills this pentagonal chamber which has two exits one is the one that you're standing at then there's one kind of at the opposite end of the room. Obviously it's a pentagonal chamber, so there's no real

true opposite. You get what I mean. We're in the Pentagon. We're stealing CIA documents. Yes. The walls are covered with riveted sheets of iron, just like the last room, though here the stone floor is pockmarked and has a large puddle of grey

slime in the middle of it. Along each wall, just beneath the ceiling, depict five black dragons. And now, a word from our sponsors. Also, hey, D&D is fun, but if you're wishing that you could hear questions that no one ever thought to ask about pop culture you only kinda know, then do I have news for you. Plumbing the Death Star is a show by Zamet, Doucher, and Jackson where they, as my dad calls it, make a living while being a drain on society, like you, Adam. So if you like the sound of that,

or if you want to know why my dad doesn't believe in entertainment, then head on down to sanspantsradio.com and search for Plumbing the Death Star. This room also seems bad. We should just keep going. We power through and avoid the slime. You don't check anything? Cass.

Adam, Cass and I are just going to have a quick little Cass and Tom meeting. So, look, Cass. Part of me wants to check but part of me also is unsure because is Adam wanting us to check like, hey, you should maybe check but is he like, hey, Cass. Part of me wants to check, but part of me also is unsure, because is Adam wanting us to check, like, hey, you should maybe check, but is he like, hey, you should maybe check so I can try to kill you? He does like that.

When is it over to trick check so I don't kill you? Yeah, that's a good point. I think as we enter the room, because the last one was acid, we know that these are on cogs are going to rotate, and we know we're pretty close, you know? I'm not going to check them. I'm going to be brave in my powering through.

Oh, no, what are we going to do, trigger a dragon? No, I don't want to do that. No, true, and you know what? We're so close to killing that guy and getting your dad back. We're so close. We already took such a detour reviving this literal angel. There have been so many other detours. We power through.

Figurative. Angels are a very different type of creature. Just as comforting, though. So you power through and find your – oh, actually, you're going to have to make a – so the corridor beyond this room has a puddle of that Aboleth slime kind of blocking the way entirely. You're going to need to make a jump check to get over it. Can I try and burn it?

Tiffany, this is – Aboleth slime is of blocking the way entirely. You're going to need to make a jump check to get over it. Can I try and burn it? Tiffany, this is, Aboleth slime is a very common poison. And so as a rogue, you are familiar with poisons. You have a basic understanding. You are aware that Aboleth slime is destroyed or this puddle will be destroyed if it takes any cold, radiant, or necrotic damage. Otherwise it is immune to any type of damage. So you mean like maybe a chill touch, which is not cold

but necrotic damage, and I don't actually have to touch it. Chill touch, best spell name. Imagine having a spell called Lightning Fingers, but what it actually does is it causes grass to grow around your feet. Yes. That's chill touch. That's chill touch. That's chill touch.

I use chill touch. All right. The abalith slime is destroyed almost entirely. There's certainly enough room now for you to get across without any hassle. We know that that would have been handy to know, I don't know, earlier maybe. Maybe, Tiffany, you didn't know this actually. Maybe you got that, like, I don't know, part of your kit is a little book or something like that, like, I don't know, part of your kit is a little book or something like that,

like a journal with information in it. You flip through that and there's a section on poisons and you didn't realise Aboleth's slime was there, but it's there. It could even just be that thing where you're walking along and be like, wait, oh, my God, this is a poison. Yes. They'd kill me back at the Rogue Academy. No, I like the fact that my character reads get her a book a four foot high seven foot wide iron lectern in the middle of this rusty iron

plated room is topped by a slanted control panel set into the control panel are a gold lever with a star-shaped handle two dials in red and blue, and two buttons of the same colors. Wall engravings behind the control panel show five groups of inch diameter rusty iron pipes jut from the wall above the engravings so this is a very complicated room there is a picture for those of you playing at home if you want to get an idea of what i just said because it's like i said it's a bit of a letter soup there's a lot going on in this room. Adam, you mean alphabet soup? Was I incorrect? I mean, no, but.

All right. So those playing at home, you want to look up, if this helps, you want to look up handout 24 from Tomb of Annihilation. So I'm going to give you handout 24, and this is what you're looking at. So you see the control panel. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, it's complicated.

You see the images on the wall. No, no, no, no. I think I get it. So this appears to be, from first inspection, an aerial view of the cog rooms. We've only been in two, but it appears there is a third that is the images on the wall you're talking about yes yes yep so i my my belief is that if we can we can move these controls to make the cogs move into configuration that allow us to get

to this third one that we haven't been able to access up to this point true so it looks like pretty much three pentagons with little corridors between them there are all these different settings you can do it to and we have now seen how we have gone in and why they are cogs it all makes sense now but looking at it though cass i cannot see a configuration where we can get into all of them no we're gonna have to split up. So we're currently in a configuration that will allow us to go exactly back the way we came. And then if we go to configuration one, then everyone who managed to go into the second room

can get to the third room. And then they can come back after a specified time and we can flip it on back and really hope that that sprinkler doesn't go off. Question. Yes. There's nowhere else to go from this room. No, you've come to a dead end actually.

Can we search the room to go from this room. No, you've come to a dead end, actually. Can we search the room? You search the room. There appears to be nothing else of interest. Oh, wait, sorry. You can tell that the control panel moves, like it slides away. There's some sort of release or valve or hatch. This opens up.

You're not sure what it opens up to. It could be a passageway. It could be something else. Whatever it is, you can tell that there is definitely no, well, you can at least tell that there is definitely no mechanism to open it. Can I check it out with my superior roguenalage? You can tell, Tiffany, that it is not meant to be opened from this side. You could break the control panel and tear this thing open if you wanted to. But you would potentially break the only way to move the gears open if you wanted to but you would potentially

break the only way to move the gears to get us out of yeah into the next room you would be finding out what is beneath the control panel at the expense of the control panel yeah that's not good i think we're gonna have to split up all right who wants to be in here for this control panel well i can help get rid of the slime so so I should go, just in case there's more. I'm going with you. Okay. Because that's the deal. Valindra gets wads of cloth out of her component pouch, and do you see that there are, like I said, three pipes above the configured things? Yep. Above the pictures on the wall? Those pipes are quite clearly dripping with Aboleth slime. She plugs all

three of them. Thank you. She maybe also gets some wax and just seals it. I do not say thank you. She did not expect a thanks. What about we say we'll run back and after two minutes set it to setting one and then maybe after ten minutes set it to setting three again? And if we're not back um actually valindra

and the star fallen can communicate with each other magically uh maybe valindra says i can communicate with the star fallen and she can communicate with me the star fallen nods we have that magic would you mind staying here and working the controls? Who do you speak to? The Starfallen. She nods. I can do that. I don't want to put her in the line of harm. I also don't want Valindra in this room by herself. It works for everyone then.

Is Valindra okay? Does she seem okay with that? Valindra's studying the control panel and the pictures on the wall. She says, actually, I would prefer to stay in this room and i think this star fallen should go with you and what possible reason why why should the most powerful member of our party be the one to stay here on their own yep well if something were to happen, I am the only one who could defend themself. And what is to stop you from just flat out betraying us at this point? Mutual self-interest.

What could she do? I? What could she do that would help? We need two different parties to open this. Before we entered this tomb, we made an agreement that I would get the soulmonger. Is this still our arrangement? Yes. Yes.

Then why would I do anything to hurt you? Do you think I care about your lives? I don't think you should. I would describe it as a passing interest, like someone might take a hobby. I'm not think you should. I'm not your fucking hobby. She is not your obsession. Please, please ignore him. I am so sorry.

I will remain here as you will travel in a group together. But before we do this, we will determine what each of these knobs and dials and stick does. That's a pretty good idea. Yes, it is a good idea. What is wrong with you?

Jesus. So, we have two buttons, a blue and a red button. We have two dials, a blue and a red dial. They can be turned to the left or to the right. And we have this lever which can simply be moved down. What would we like to test the effects of first? I'll give it a go. I try blue knob left.

When you turn it to the left, you hear a clicking sound and the light beneath number three goes out and then the crystal light between number two to the left of it goes on. Nothing actually happens though. We can't hear the gears turning? No, the gears do not turn. I try flicking it back and forth. Does it pretty much just move the light up and down.

Yeah, it moves the light left and right. I put it back to number three where it started. Put it on two. Put the light on two. Okay. Then I press the blue button. You hear a terrific grinding sound and you can see down the corridor that you came from, the cog that you were once connected to turns away from you. The entire level trembles

as this happens. Whatever machine makes this go is great and powerful. Right. Okay. I guess we'll try the red one. I tried the red dial. Is it the same thing? Do you turn it to the right or left? Yeah, I go right first. Nothing happens when you turn it to the right left you immediately feel your mind connected telepathically with a distant creature the creature's mind opens up before you and you feel the expanse of the universe pressing against you you are genuinely terrified an element of you a primal ancient element the lizard part of the back of your brain recoils and does not want to interact but the intelligent brain is aware that if you recoil that area will be replaced by the infinite and so it stands firm as a bastion and refuses to let your mind become an empty, hollow, infinite universe. Holy shit.

Oh, my God. Hey, how you going? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What's up? This is where he controls the fucking creature from. What's it now, Gora? Hello.

Oh, you're not Gora. Sorry, I thought I was talking with that guy who runs this place. Sorry, the guy who runs this place. Not the lips, but his not Gora. Sorry, I thought I was talking with that guy who runs this place. Not, sorry, the guy who runs this place. Not the lips, but like his caretaker. You know, I was telling you about him before. You're Tiffany, right? Yeah. Yeah.

How are you? I'm all right, you know, just sitting here. Not really doing much. I got nothing to do, you know. It's a pretty dull existence. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, I'm glad to hear. Am I still recovering?

You're kind of a bit shaken. You're more than a bit shaken. You're very shaken, but you're aware of yourself. We've just found a knob that's let me talk to you. Do you know? Yeah, the control room has like a thing that can establish a telepathic link with me. That's all I understand. If you've got any questions about it, I no answers i'm sorry okay um you can turn it off but i don't know how have you tried whatever you did do the opposite that makes sense um

oh whenever you turn either of the dials by the way they snap back to their original position oh they just go back to yeah so right now the red dial is back and it's neutral it's facing north position this conversation adam yeah she talking out loud probably you actually don't need to talk out loud but i'm i'm gonna say that you're just so surprised i'm going through a lot so yeah what do you hear me at all yeah you can hear everyone else what the horns who the fuck are you talking to it's like there's an extra person in the room just for you. Girl, I rule. The fucking fish?

Yep. How? I don't know where my brain, I don't know where my mind is. You don't know where your mind, what, are you okay? I. Which one is it? Is it the fucking evil one? Is he trying to make your brain explode?

No, no, no, no, no, no. He's kind. Hi, girly rule. Hey, how you going? I'm good. Does Gory usually press a button to make something happen or? I don't know. Like I said, I don't know how that thing works.

No, that's all right. You've already been such a big help. I've never been in the room. No. I do a polite laugh tiffany this conversation sounds identical but with an insight into this creature's mind you feel a malevolence now you are vaguely aware that you are not speaking to the same gully rule as you were speaking to previously there's like just differences tiny little differences and also like the feelings projected you are aware that this creature is now malevolent but you believe that there is actually nothing it

can do to hurt you right now i in the real world try and reach out to hold someone's hand i might have closed i'd be the closest what the fuck are you doing i grab on thank you so much now. I, in the real world, try and reach out to hold someone's hand. I might be the closest. What the fuck are you doing? I grab on. Thank you so much, Girly Rule. The Star Fallen and Artisimba look very concerned. I think we need to go. It was genuinely really nice talking to you again

and I flip the dial the other way. Alright, that ends the telepathic link. You're right, Horns. Why are you holding onto my hand? I let go. What happened? The star fallen hugs you. Oh, yes. So if you touch the red dial.

Yes. You communicate with girly rule and it wasn't the same one we spoke to. You're right. You didn't get in the head and try to kill yourself. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't think this can do that. I think he has to be in person. But don't touch the red button.

Why would you press the red button? I don't know, but surely it's not good. If the red is girly rule. This can't be a trap. Why would he build a trap into something he was using to control the room? I don't know. I have no idea. I really don't know. I don't know. I have no idea. I really don't know.

I don't know anything that just happened. I felt like I just saw everything. Everything. Everything. I felt everything. Righto. I felt how big it is. All of it.

I don't know what's in there, but I know how big it is now. I know I shouldn't know how big it is. It's too much. You're all right. you're all right you're all right i just focus on uh um do you have you got leather armor don't you like braided bits of leather or something on you no it all dissolved it all dissolved i just sembra steps forward and he says i'll i'll do the rest uh, I agree with Tiffany, to be honest. I think the red button.

What the fuck? You do the rest. The red button is probably nothing we want to deal with. We don't want to speak to girly rule. We know how to manipulate the rooms, and that's ultimately all we need from this. So the question remains, do we want to tempt fate with the golden lever? Eyeballing artist. Because, look, he put me down down before and that hurt and made me question

my whole life. But then he just walked over while I was trying to be kind and compassionate and said look, I'll do the rest, which makes me think that he doesn't even think I'm capable of that. So without breaking eye contact, I pull the star lever. Artist Simba just makes a sound and then everyone in the room

hears like a gurgling sound and as one, everyone in the room hears like a gurgling sound. And as one, everyone in the room turns to look at the three pipes that were drooling Aboleth slime before that are now sealed. Thanks to Valindra. You can see that they begin to bulge. Does the lever return to normal? The lever does not move. I push it back up.

You try to, but it is locked into place. You can see that there's a complicated mechanism within the, you know, the lever exists in like a slot. Yeah. Like a groove. You can see through the groove into the mechanism. Someone can attempt to work with that, or you can just try to break it up. I feel like Brayden is going to fuck it.

I tried. You know what? You don't even get a chance. Lucanu steps over, grabs it, and yanks with all her strength. Oh, fuck. She breaks it not only up but out. She breaks the lever out of the mechanism. The pipes stop bulging.

Thank you, Lucanu. It was all in a day's work, she says. She seems quite chuffed with herself. Thank you, Lucanu. Well, we- We now know all the things, dude, which is important to know on any kind of fucking thing. We've got two buttons to press.

That's all we can touch. We have two. That's all we can press. The blue dial and the blue button. Yep. Are you okay with that, Valindra? Yes. Okay.

Well, I don't want to be here anymore. I think we should go. What if the red button frees him? What do you mean? He's a prisoner too. That's the same logic. Why would he build in a button to free him? I don't know.

Why would he build in a button to pour fucking slime into the room? Maybe this man is an idiot. All right. So tell me what configurations you want me to set it to. Valindra sets it back to, because I think it's currently on two. She sets it back to three. Well, I think when we get to the garden part again, if you set it to number one,

then we'll be able to go straight into this third room. And the Star Falling can let you know if anything changes, but I think that's about right for now. Valindra points, if you see on all of the cogs, there's like a little jutting out bit with a yellow little symbol on it. Yep. Valindra says, obviously each of these is a place that the cogs can be connected to.

The star, she gestures to the one at the far west. That is the control room. The line with the two dots, she gestures to the southernmost one that is obviously back to the corridor from whence we came then there are three that we do not know these two wavy lines at the top of the middle cog the chain link at the top of the right cog and that's i don't know what you want to call it maybe gust of air at the bottom of the right cog and that's i don't know what you want to call it maybe gust of air at the bottom of the right cog so i will set it to one when you reach the middle cog be aware that you are not opening the right cog to you not just opening that but you are also opening whatever is in that

wavy line room to the north of the middle cog. There could be further enemies, some sort of trap, many different things. Well, if that happens, we'll let you know. Maybe let's have a backup one. If we get stuff. Let's flick it back to two. Flick it to two? We'll flick it back.

What are we on now? Three. We're on three, Conrad. Flick it back to three. Well, you will have the star fallen with you. She can communicate with me if we have any variations on plans. If we're on one and we get to the third room and things start going badly for us, we can set it to four because four will let us be in the third room without any other entrances.

Nice. We have a backup. If all else fails, go to three. We know what's in three. You're not half bad at this stuff. Thank you. Just, whatever. Yeah, good work, Paul.

Fuck it. What hidden enemies lurk waiting to be revealed by these turning cogs? Find out next time on Once Upon a Time in Zombie-Plagued Chant. Thanks for listening. If you want to help support this show and all the other shows on the Sandspans Radio Network, just head to sandspansradio.com and consider joining the Sandspans Plus community. There's over 20 bonus shows, a Sandspans Plus Discord, exclusive

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