D&D is For Nerds - Zombie Plagued Chult III #23 Self Sacrifice

Episode Date: March 13, 2021

Sign up to our newsletter here. Join our facebook group here or join our Discord here.You can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073.Want to help support the show?Sanspants+ | Shop | TeesWant to get in contact with us?Email | Twitter | Website | Facebook | RedditOr individually at;Adam | Cass | Tom | Jackson | ZammitTheme music by the wonderfully talented Mia (AtomicCupcakes). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SANSPANS RADIO, Australia's happiest podcast network. trial subscription for champs if you use the coupon code RATBOY. That's R-A-T-B-O-Y. You can listen to the several bonus D&D campaigns, over 100 episodes of Jackson Bailey Spooks America, and all of the Hey D&D, It's Me Adams, and much, much more. But perhaps that's not enough. Perhaps you want to see how the bourgeois live. Well, in this special introductory offer of just $5 for the first month, you can be a Sandspans King with the coupon code RATKING. That's R-A-T-K-I-N-G. Listen to the weekly saga that is D&D is for Kings, or perhaps our foray into the world of darkness with our mini-series,

The Spirit of Lonely Places. We have a lot of content on offer, and it's just sitting there begging to be listened to. Just head to sanspantsradio.com slash plus to become a member today using either coupon code RATBOY for a free month of Champ, or RATKING for $20 off your first month of a King subscription. Welcome to Season 3, Episode 23 of Zombie Plagued Chult. Previous life. It looks like, like oh it's fucking hideous are you ready for this its body is wet and malformed oh no oh my god velindra gestures to the creature and says it is an atropal a ghastly unfinished creation of an act of evil gods.

Hey, Hans. Yeah? You ready to murder a gigantic, grotesque baby monster? I'm going to fall into the lava. Fuck. I'm going to die. Fuck. No sooner had the Atropel died when, with a crack like lightning,

a skeletal figure wrapped in mouldering robes and clutching a skull tipped scarf appears on the southern balcony hateful pinpricks of white light burn in its eye sockets and a two-foot diameter sphere of utter darkness floats in the air beside it. Falindra just last question. Uh-huh. If she dies what happens is the connection severed. If she dies, what happens? Is the connection severed? If she dies, the connection must be severed.

You cannot do damage to a corpse. Oh, my God. You can stabilize a corpse. You can stabilize a dying person. If she becomes dying, this continues. Her is the worst, Adam. Azarak waves his hand. Lucano collapses forwards. Adam, I'm... So you... You killed his hand. Lucano collapses forwards.

Adam, I'm... So you... You killed her anyway. Lucano is dead. You're a piece of shit. With a sickening splash, Flask of Wine lands on the magma. Flask of Wine starts sprinting

towards the edge of the structure. He's going to use his feline agility. Good, good, good. and miraculously somehow no magma has clung to his what's left of his fur at this point this is he if he wasn't a sphinx cat before is slowly becoming one no he has burns to like 50 of his body at least j Jesus. Did I say slowly? I meant rapidly becoming one. It's Valindra's turn. Valindra, first off, maintains the Wall of Flames, and then is there actually any other spells she has

that can damage him? Are you kidding? Are most of her attacks genuinely cold and necrotic? Yeah, so many of them are. As are Azarax. They actually can't do a lot to hurt each other. Although, Valindra can do one thing. She runs away.

Oh my god. No, she can't escape. She's just stuck here as you guys are. Pop, you recover 32 hit points. Valindra channels her energy into you. You want to vomit. It feels awful. As always, are healed being

healed by necrotic energy is no good it feels like you're being poisoned but you're on 106 hit points now let's go it's tlad's turn tlad can't fire fire bolt anymore so instead he throws a bolt of pure arcane energy and it splashes against azurak doing no damage a sickly bolt of green energy wraps itself around azurak and wraps itself around you pop you need to make a constitution saving throw which you fail half of the damage dealt to azurak will be dealt to you wait what happened am i now you and you and azurak are bonded azurak doesn't smile this is a like a major victory for him theoretically now that you're taking half of his damage azurak doesn't care this entire thing has been an inconvenience to him. He doesn't look worried. Tiffany? How does Pop look?

Pop actually looks rather healthy right now, but the end of this turn might see him different. So Arnest won't necessarily attack Aserak because even though he hates me, he doesn't hate me that much. But Linja will absolutely continue to hurt Aserak because

she doesn't care about my well-being as will Talad. What I would like to do is retreat. All right. You disengage. Where would you like to be? Away. Far away. I want to hide.

Actually, no. I want to cast Earth Tremor. Okay. Because that doesn't do a lot of damage, but it'll. It might knock him prime. Yeah. You're absolutely right. You cast Earth Tremor.

The earth beneath Azarak shudders slightly, but Azarak is unfortunately not displaced by that. You can still disengage and run away. Yes, please. You can move back out on the metal strut and towards the soulmonger if you want. I would like to hide behind a friend, but I don't want to get onto a metal strut because... You can hide behind Pop. I would like to hide behind a friend, but I don't want to get onto a metal strut because...

You can hide behind Pop. I would like to hide behind Pop. You don't do a great job of hiding, unfortunately. Pop is in front of you, but Azorak knows you're there. Cool, cool, cool, cool. The Sphere of Annihilation streaks towards Valindra Shadowmantle. Good luck. She can't be killed. fuck no no are you kidding

you're making a silly kidding you're making a joke you can't do that shit adam no no adam you see velindra shadow mantle dodges out of the way and the sphere of annihilation passes very closely near her. Valinga Shadowmantle is the only one who doesn't need to roll just a 20 to dodge this. So, just going to put it out there. Yeah. Oh, you can attempt to control the Sphere of Annihilation if you want. How?

It requires an action. Yes. So, you need to spend your action. Instead of attacking, you need to do this. You need to make an intelligence check. instead of attacking, you need to do this. You need to make an intelligence check, and then you can move the sphere, I think, 30 or 60 feet,

which kind of functionally could hit, theoretically, anything in the room. Right now, you couldn't use it to hit Azurak this turn. But if he moves it back around. So we could all have a go at it. Yeah, it takes your action. Azurak definitely has some very easy control over it uh tiffany you've got well actually no wait both of you can get a good look at this because you're both very close now pop you are closer than tiffany but you're also in a lot more dire straits right now you're kind of got one eye you're kind of focusing on other shit and also lucanu just died so you're understandably quite perturbed tiffany you however have the cold

calm calculating mind of um i don't want to say a tiefling but of a tiefling of a tiefling yeah you can see that azurak every time he he moves the Sphere of Annihilation, his hand brushes against his, he's wearing like a talisman around his neck. The talisman, it's of like a dark black onyx gem with tiny little like lines around it in a metal casing. You recognize this item as the Talisman of the Sphere. It is a legendary item, like an artifact. There's only one in the world. When you make a intelligence arcana check to control the sphere of annihilation, you double your proficiency bonus on the check.

In addition, when you start your turn with the control over the sphere of annihilation, you can use your action to levitate it 10 feet, plus a number of additional feet equal to 10 times your intelligence modifier. So with this talisman. You can do it freely. Yeah, with this talisman, once he has control. Once you have control of it, you can do whatever you want with it.

Yeah. Normally, you need to roll to get control and then roll to move it. He doesn't need to roll to move it. And we could do that in theory. You can move it. Yeah, in theory. Now, letting and we could do that in theory you can move it yeah in theory uh now letting you know as well i can see the cogs turning in both of your heads the talisman requires attunement so you cannot functionally in this fight you will not be able to use the effects of this talisman of the sphere however you could deprive deprive him him of the effects. Great. Necrotic energy ripples out from Azarak.

Oh, yuck. Washing over Pop, who... What's the saving throw? Big idiot, he hurts himself. Pop, 36 damage. Tiffany, collapses. Yep. Fuck.

Well, I've got my periactive wound closure, so... Yes, Tiffany, you are stabilized. Yeah, Azarak gestures his hands out before him, and a wave of necrotic energy reaches out. Hands come out, ghostly and skeletal hands burst out of the ground, grabbing all of you and wrapping themselves around you. You feel necrotic energy channeled into you. You feel awful sick it's worse

than when it's worse than when velindra healed you yeah good good i fucking love that and then it is the star fallen's turn the star fallen continues to sing tiffany you immediately come back spluttering and gasping. You gain 28 hit points. Well, that means I'm on 28. Starfallen is sprinting across the struts as well to get towards you. Mom. And then she points at Pop, Tiffany, Flask of Wine, and Artist Simber.

All of you gain 11 temporary hit points. 28 in brackets. 39. All of you can move as a reaction up to your speed without provoking attacks of opportunity. You feel like a ghost of vitality enter you. It's the exact opposite of what Valindra

does. Yeah, yeah. Feel good, feel good. Would you like to move? a ghost of vitality enter you it's the exact opposite of what velendra does yeah yeah feel good feel good would you like to move you can move if you want if you need anywhere yeah right now no that's starfallen's ability you get 11 temporary hit points and you can move flask of wine keeps climbing up the side artist simber leaps over the barricade and now he's standing in the midst of it with you all. Oh, that's right. And Azarak needs to roll because the Wall of Fire is still there. Is there any point in me moving? Because I'm just going to come back and hit him again.

Oh, you know what? The Starfallen also gives herself a cheap... Could pick one more person, and I was just making her not pick Valindra or Tlat. She picks herself. And the Starfallen and Artis Simber are in among the fight with you guys. Azarak fails his saving throw again and he's going to take another 9d8 damage. Would either of you like to move? I am going to.

So Pop's in front of Azarak. So Pop's in front of Azurak. Yeah. I'm going to, because I'm behind Pop, say, like, whisper, like, distract him and then race behind and hide. I'm going to try and hide behind Azurak. You will be running into a wall of flames. Don't you resist fire because you're a T-flame?

You do have resistance. Actually, you can. It's a dexterity saving throw, so if you pass, you take no damage. Oh, let's give it a crack. All right. So you pass, you take no damage. Let's give it a crack. All right. So you whisper to me, distract him. You fail. So you're going to take, it was 47 points of damage.

So you take half of that. You take 23 points of damage. That's right. You got 39 in brackets. Well, thank God you had all of those hit points because you needed them. I would have died. I would have run into some fire and died. What a great way to end your character, Tiffany.

Because you would have died. You would have collapsed in fire. I would have died, died. Yeah. Maybe, like, distract him. Ah! What the fuck? She... Artisember isn't going to attack.

He attempts to turn Azarak to ice. Azarak passes. This is bullshit. Pop, it's your turn. I've been told to distract him. How, like, am I, like, I'm not in the fire with him, but his face is here. Face to face, basically. Yeah.

Yeah, no, good. Just want to look him dead in his cold old eyes. So I look at him. I look down at the tether between us. I look back at him. You're pretty clever, don't you, old boy? He snaps his fingers. You feel the cold whispering shooting at your back.

Is that the orb? Oh, my God. Yes. The orb streaks towards you. You turn around, and it's about to strike you. But then.? Oh my god. Yes. The orb streaks towards you. You turn around and it's about to strike you. But then at the last moment, you feel a force to your right slam into you. Art of Simbra knocks you onto the floor. The sphere of annihilation strikes Art of Simbra.

There's no sound. There's no nothing. No gnashing. No scream. Art of Cimber is gone. Pop, you may have your turn. I need a moment, Adam. Pop isn't a man anymore.

He's just anger. I just go for, I don't care about the tether. I go as hard as I can. Zephyr strike the works. Let's go, baby. Reroll damage. Reroll the works. I want to hit this motherfucker as hard as I can. Zephyr Strike the works. Let's go, baby. Reroll damage. Reroll the works. Just I want to hit this motherfucker as hard as I can.

You hit two times. I will allow you to reroll to attempt for a critical, but you could miss. Yeah. Give me a critical on one of them. Wow. A chance for a critical. Oh, my God. Yes.

Holy fucking shit. Power of anger. The purple die. Look. Oh, my God. 20. It's just actually a 20. That's fucked.

That's incredible. Did I get a good boy card? No. You cheeky little bitch. Get a good boy card. He's gone. 66. Oh, shit.

Deal. You take half. Yeah, I know. 66 double. Oh, actually, Adam. Just before. Oh, God. You're not going to let me.

Are you going to let me do this potentially? What are you going to do? Tell me. I need to know. Just as I swing the hit at the last second, I just think about my gift of protection, and I use it. I don't take any damage for this entire turn. I'll allow it.

Yes! Had this completely landed, you would have done 161 points of damage. As it stands, you deal 80 points of damage. I would have died. I would have died. As gold energy begins to wrap around you and wreath you, two spots hit the ground in front of you. The ground in front of you has been, you look down, it has been wetted by two single droplets.

Your invincibility prevents you from feeling the moistness from your eyes. you from feeling the moistness from your eyes you swing with holy avenger the sword that was once dragon baits you swing into azurak the creator of the soul monger and the reason you are here you strike him in the arm as he tries to bring it up to defend himself. You cut a deep gash upon his hand and out of the gash, a single trickle of blood falls down to match the two points of wetness before you. Azarak looks at his hand and looks at you. This is the first blood he has spilt in millennia. Does he look something? A brief moment of panic passes over his face.

He has actually been wounded. This entire fight, he has not truly taken damage until this moment right here i tip my hat forward in a very angry let's fucking dance kind of way and i look him in his cold dead eyes and i say no more big leaves it's prickles all the way boy instead of velindra acting azarak uses one of his legendary actions, his last one for this round and for this combat. We'll meet again, he says. And on that day, you will die. With that, Azarak raises his staff, utters some arcane syllables, and is gone. Nothing special, no fanfare.

He's just gone. is it because i made him bleed yes the combat is over lukanu's corpse the fire dies down lukanu's corpse lies before you broken and bloodied she died because her heart exploded from a spell. Is that it? Is that it, Adam? Yep. Killed? You didn't kill Azarak. He fled. But we...

You defeated him. But at what cost? Nothing happened. The sphere of annihilation is gone as well. You don't know when it disappeared. It's just gone. And Ardis is just gone. Yep.

It's just gone. And Ardis is just gone. Yep. Pop Mandarin smashes the ground where Aserak was standing a minute ago and just does not stop for a very long time. I imagine. Just soared over and over and over again, over and over and constantly. I imagine that is the only sound for two minutes. It is punctuated by just underneath it all, like, angry rage of,

this is why you don't have friends! Flask of wine clambers back onto the metal struts and meets up with the rest of you. Valindra Shadowmantle and Tlad the Drow cross the spans so that you're all standing together. Valindra checks the corpse of Lucanu, and for a brief, terrifying moment, you think you know what she's about to do, but then, instead, she straightens up,

coughs slightly, and turns around. She does nothing. You were very observant, I assume, when she approached, but she definitely did nothing. She didn't even touch the corpse. She was just having a look. I told you to wait.

Valindra turns to you and says, And what do you think that did accomplish if we voted? I told you to wait. This woman was dead a long time before I cast this spell. Fuck off. Take your soulmonger, fuck off. I feel like our business has yet to conclude, unfortunately. There is the exit to the dungeon to find.

But I assure you, once we have left the dungeon, I have business to attend to. So I will leave you, at least for a time. And then if Tiffany wishes to continue our services, I will help you save your father. I forgot about that. I'm not up to speaking just now, so I nod. And I try... You killed Ardis, you piece of shit! I have love in my eyes, so I nod and I try. I have love. You killed the artist. You piece of shit.

I have love in my eyes and I just start nodding. And hopefully she understands. Valindra, if she understands, chooses to ignore. She begins talking as she's working on the the soulmonger. She cuts away at the metal struts and creates conjures a magical hole out of nowhere, which when the soulmonger falls into it, she folds up

like it were a piece of paper and puts the portable hole in her pocket. Once she's done that, oh sorry, while she's doing that, she says I wish this could have gone differently, of course. However, this was the way it was always going to go. We have, all of us, choices that we have made.

Anyway, Tiffany, like I said, I will help you with your father if you wish. And if you do not, I say that we can part ways amicably here. But you do not need to make any decisions now. Thank you. At the very least, let us get back to the surface. Yes. Thank you.

Do not thank me. I look at her like I want to give her a hug, but I can't touch anyone right now. The star fall, you feel, a warmth envelop you right now. The starfall, you feel, a warmth envelop you from behind. The starfallen is hugging you. I shut her for a second, and then I hug her back. But only out of politeness.

Okay. It's a lot right now. Uh, you, you ride horns? I don't know. Yeah. Are you right uh no

I don't think I am oh my god I reach out and hold your hand pop lets you and now a quick word from our sponsor hey are you a big D&D's for nerds head but you've finished the current campaign and you're ravenous quick word from our sponsor. try to conquer some of D&D's most difficult dungeons, and even D&D's for Kings, a long-running freeform campaign with no set story,

like Season 1 and 2. So if you want all of that, all this brand-new D&D content, head to sanspantsradio.com forward slash plus and sign up today, and you'll have so much D&D's for Nerds at your disposal, you'll fucking throw up. HEAVY MUMBLING HEAVY MUMBLING HEAVY MUMBLING is for nerds at your disposal you'll fucking throw up you look around and you see flask of wine

nursing his badly burnt feet with one paw he's like spreading an ointment over it. And in the other one, he is looking at his burnt, crumpled up, completely destroyed ball of soft. He's clutching at the ball of soft, squeezing it like he normally would, but it's broken and destroyed. It does not function as it should. You notice the flask of wine is staring where Artis was. Big, awful tears are rolling down his face and snot is coming out of his nose.

It's an ugly cry. Flask of wine drops the bowl of soft and starts trying to hug himself. I break away from Pop and go give flask of wine a big hug, but like a collapsey to the floor hug. I break away from Pop and go give Flask of Wine a big hug, but like a collapse-y to the floor hug. As you approach him, he launches himself at you and wraps himself around you. He cries heavily into your shoulder.

I'm so sorry. He doesn't respond. He just keeps... I just keep hugging him. I just keep hugging him. I just keep giving him a really big hug. Fuck, I'm real broken. That's just Tom. That's not Pop.

Oh, I can't believe that death meant nothing because he just left. Can I hand Flask my braid? Is that soft? He doesn't notice you trying to hand him anything. He's just clutching on you. He's going through a lot. It's the only soft thing I can think because everything else got destroyed. I just.

All right. All right. Okay. All right. We need to get out. We need to get out. How do we get out? We need to get out.

We need to get out. How do we get out? Valindra, who has now pocketed the portable hole, gestures to the swirling blue vortex before you. I believe this is a teleporter of some sort. I do not know where it takes us, though. If you want to get... I do not know if this will be incredibly effective. She gestures back to the alcoves that you can see along the walls

that have many strange pots and containers in them. I believe those are phylacteries of, well, not Azarak, but those who serve him, other liches. You can see there's countless ones. Azarak must have hundreds of liches under his command. I dare say that if you threw some into the magma below, some would be destroyed. Not all, but some.

It would certainly be an inconvenience. I'm already kicking them in. The minute I heard that these things belong to that thing, I'm just kicking them in. I get up and join. Does Flask come to flask uh if you start getting up flask of wine makes like he he can't move flask of wine can't move under his own power right now he acts like like a child terrified that its parent is leaving oh Oh, I stay. I stay. You guys can kick him in. I'm kicking them all in.

Vlad the Drow wanders over, but you see it's more out of curiosity than anything else. Valindra just watches. She doesn't really seem to care. Maybe you see a brief, when she was telling you about the phylacteries, you see a brief flash of, like, consideration. Like, she didn't have to tell you what she told you

she said it clearly to give you some sense of closure i suppose would he be coming back to this dungeon ever again who oh azarok yeah possibly great there was a wall on there was like a wall behind where he appeared so i should appeared oh no yeah oh that's the teleporter behind where he appeared but he didn't appear from appeared- Oh, no, yeah. That's the teleporter behind where he appeared. But he didn't appear from the teleporter. No, no, no. But there's a wall nearby somewhere, right? Sure.

So he comes back to just suss things out. You're about to carve a message into the wall. I want to carve a message into the wall, Adam. Please, go for it. What would you like to carve into the wall? And on that day, you will bleed again. Pop Mandarin. Kiss.

All right. You're not sure if Azarak will remember you. He goes through so many adventurers. Yeah, but how many of them made him bleed? I was about to say. It is potentially possible that he will remember the day long, long years ago that an adventurer named Pop Mandarin made him bleed. Good.

I'm going to find him and kill him. So all the phylacteries are in the lava and the wall has been carved? You can see some of them bobbing in the magma, quite a few actually. It doesn't look like you destroyed that many of the phylacteries. But maybe Valindra says that a phylactery, you can't just break it or chuck it into lava. It doesn't work like that. A phylactery can only be destroyed by specific means,

a specific set of circumstances, typically depending on how the phylactery is made or what it is made of. Some of them sunk, though. Some of them did. Some of them did. Some of them were destroyed, definitely. You could probably tell when you throw one in

and it is destroyed. You hear an awful, horrible, wailing yell, and there's like a brief moment of fear that passes over you. The sort of fear that only a creature that once had an ancestor that was prey could feel. But it is destroyed. Good. You did something good. You know?

Maybe. I want to go. Come on, Flask. I try and help Flask up. Flask of Wine gingerly gets back to his feet. The Star Fallen is going to spend a lot of healing on all of you. The spot where Artist was. He died on the ground, yeah?

There's a spot where I hit the ground a lot and also I cried. Yes. Is that right? Good. I'm going to take my hat off, put it on that spot, and pierce it with the immovable rod and click it into place. Okay. Let's have a very quiet prayer for Gregory Bynes.

Once you start to walk away from it, I say, your hat. I'm getting another hat. Oh, no. That means he can't get another friend. Okay, cool. Pop, you heal 58 hit points. Tiffany, you heal 62 hit points. Flask of Wine heals 59 hit points.

So do you want to pass into the teleporter? Yep. Who's going first? Valindra. Yeah, sure, she'll go first. Do you ask her to go first? How do you... We tell her to go first. Oh, I'm not going to tell her to go first.

You can. You first, then. She nods her brow to you. Of course. She passes through. Then what? I didn't tell her to come back. No, you did not.

No, but if she's there. Yeah, I follow her through. If she was killed, what chance do we need to use that? She goes first, there's something there, she can start fighting him. Or they attack her first. You step out of the mist into an underground chapel with black basalt pillars and a polished

obsidian altar. Resting on the altar is a leather bag the size and shape of a human body, and which appears to have been sewn shut. Beyond the altar, a heavy black drape hangs from an archway. Eight emaciated, green-skinned creatures are shackled to the walls of the chapel, each one gazing towards you with a single baleful eye.

The monsters begin to gibber and drool as they shake their manacles, eager to be set free. Valindra, standing there, turns to you and says they are demanding to be released. Do they want to hurt us? I would say not. They appear to be crazy, she says. You find no error in her logic there. They are definitely hooting and hollering like they are mad. But they're not going to attack us. It's

hard to say. I feel if we don't unshackle them, they will definitely attack us. They are nothics. Nothics are an aberration,

a creature that is unto, should not exist, simply, I suppose. Like you. Pop! Thank you for helping us, Valindra. It's always really good when someone shares information. I do not care for the concerns of him. If we do not free them soon...

As she's talking, they're getting more and more antsy. If we do not free them soon, I fear they will start attacking us. I go over to the nearest one and pop the manacles. You start breaking the manacles off. It, uh... Maybe doesn't hug you. I'll join in no they don't

they just like start jumping up and down like a happy chimp villager starts talking with one of them what do they speak what language are they okay yes they seem to be fine they will not attack us, I do not think. They have some assistance to offer us.

She keeps conversing with them. It's hard to make out what is useful and what is just the mad ramblings of a creature. They, I think, were former disciples of Azarak, contenders for having a vessel in the room just previous but i think they failed the test or whatever trials were put before them oh well they're happy to be free they're just crazy creatures one of them points towards the drapes covering the archway and hollers something in their strange language.

Belinda says, they say that the exit is that way, but to, and she puts up air quotes, mind the bones. I do not understand what they mean by that. She continues talking with them. And one of them says says would you like more treasure is she talking to me yeah she speaks to you pop what do you mean treasure another trinket to retrieve from the tomb what have they got they simply say to follow the purple trail whatever that means follow the purple trail i think that is all we will be able to get from them that is useful.

Okay. Let's just keep going. I miss air. Are you doing anything about the altar with the bag? I'll look at it. What's going on there? I'll inspect. There's a leather body bag.

It's sewn up. It's about the size of a person. And you think there's something in it about the size and shape of a person. I step away from the body bag because... Now what did they say about bits of body? Watch the bones. Don't touch the bones.

Mind the bones. I do not think they were gesturing to this. No, but there could be bones in there. I'd be leaving a neat bag of body in here. You're right. Unless you want to look to see who's in there. Oh, Clone Tiffany's

still with us? Oh, fuck. Yeah, she is. Fuck. She was not functionally useful in the last fight. She just couldn't have damaged him anyway. No. If you say unless you want to see who's in there. Yeah.

Well, I'm either going to not know them and be sad for a stranger or I'm going to know who they are. I've had enough of that, you know. You don't want to look? You can look. I start walking toward the black drape. Okay. Pop, would you like to do anything?

Yeah, I'll have a look. You cut open some of the strings on the bag and take a peek inside it's hard to tell because she has like a big bruise over one side of her face and there's dried blood coming out of her nose but you no, you're very certain you recognize the face of Sister Sias. Horns. Wait, does she look alive? She's breathing, but barely. Okay, I don't.

Horns, don't move. Don't turn around. Starfallen. Starfallen is at your side almost immediately. What can you do? Don't come over here. What's happening? Don't come over here. What's happening? Don't come over here.

The Starfallen leans forward and brushes at Sister Sias' matted hair. You see there's dried blood in her hair as well. She's in quite a state. The Starfallen says, she's wounded but just unconscious. Who's in there? Just wait. Just wait. just wait. All right.

I've still got spells left, don't I? I believe you do. I want to do a third level cure wounds on her. Would that help? Yep. Sister Sias regains 14 hit points. Her eyes flutter open and she shifts slightly. I rip the bag the rest of the way.

All right. You tear the bag open and out of the bag, Sister Sias gingerly stumbles to her feet. She's still wearing the robes and battlement of her order. She is unarmed right now. And she looks still pretty worse for wear, but she can stand on her own two feet. She turns around to you.

Tiffany? I run over in tears and tackle hug her. She hugs you back using the altar that she had been placed on for support in grabbing you. I want to ask her questions, but I am sobbing. She gently strokes the back of your head in a consoling manner. I continue to sob. I am unable to do anything else. Despite her situation, she is nothing but comfort.

It's like she's an infinite well to throw the evil things that have happened to you into. I don't know what this... I don't have an accurate comparison, but this is the first time I felt what home feels like. I don't know what to call it. What are you doing here? She shakes her head slowly. Camp Vengeance, we were attacked. Why'd they take you?

I don't know, she says says i'm so glad you're here i'm sorry i'm so sorry but i'm so happy i'm sorry sorry for what i don't know i gave her a big hug then sobbed some more we we were attacked uh the they came in the night overwhelmed us they just they walked through the gate like it wasn't even there they just passed through it like ghosts but they weren't ghosts they were there were three of them they were she recoils a little bit they were hideous she says do you want to have a bag where her face was supposed to be yes yes yes that's right they did dead, we killed them, they're dead They're dead, okay I think I heard one of them Baggy Nana

Yeah, she had a dumb fucking name They This has come from a man named after a box of fruit They overwhelmed our defences I'm not sure I'm not sure if anyone else made it out alive She seems concerned. But still like

that well. Well, we're gonna. Okay, we're going. Where are we, she says. Nazarack's lair. Where the cellmonger was. She has a dark look. She looks worried. We're going. We're leaving. We're taking her with us. We're going and we're gonna be

safe. He's not coming back. He's gone. So what do you want to do? Walk through the drape. All right. You pull the drape open to reveal the corridor beyond, set with four decorative archways that have blank walls within them. The three parts marked out are in red, gold, and purple tile, snaking along the floor, each leading to one of the three archways.

A charred skeleton on the floor points to the fourth archway, which has no path leading to it. A single torch burns in a wall sconce at the far end of the hall. Mounted below it is a bronze plaque Bearing the warning in common Behold the fate of those who defy me Right Well, we're not going where that skeleton's pointing No, we weren't meant to touch the bones at all You were told to mind the bones

Oh That's all you were told Does mind the bones mean like mind the gap Like don't go in the gap Or does mind the bones mean, pay heed to where they point? Valindra tries to clarify with the crazy creatures in the room with you, but they just hoot and holler. Valindra turns back and says, they have nothing clever to add.

What was the thing about the purple road? Follow the purple trail if you're looking for treasure. That was the treasure trail. I mean, that's the only one where we really know what happens. Do we follow that? Does that get us out? Did you want to? Not particularly.

I would not think that treasure would lead to the exit, but it would certain... Oh, yes. I do not think the purple trail one way or another will get us out of here. Right. Well, then, we either heed that skeleton who's pointing at nothing, follow a gold path, follow a red path.

Can I sort of duck my head in where the skeleton's pointing? You can try. Without touching the skeleton. That archway has, it's just stone. It's a decorative archway has it's just stone it's a decorative archway there's no actual door there okay how closely do you inspect the wall and you're obviously entering the corridor to do this oh yeah yeah enter the corridor yeah no i'll look at the archway closely try i don't want to set off any traps or anything but I want to see why why it's noteworthy, you know I get a bad boycott

and I need to know where everyone is right now Well, where you two are and then I will determine where the NPCs are So you've gone out of the door I know where Tiffany is, I guess I'm like, sort of behind her looking at the piles on the floor

Everyone is in the room, but who's holding up the back? Flask of wine or Sister Sias? Who would you guys think would be at the back? Sister Sias or Flask of wine? Flask of wine, because Sister Sias. No, no, Talad would be at the back. No, Talad sticks to Valendra like fucking glue. Maybe Starfallen?

I know where he is. Oh, the Starfallen could be up the back, yeah? All right, the Starfallen's up the back. Oh, no, no, no. It would be Mumbles and clone Tiffany. No, because we'd have someone at the back protecting them. Yeah. Ah, true.

Yeah, so Starfallen. If they were up the back, they could get taken out. Starfallen 100%. You wouldn't let Sister Sias be at the back. All right. No, no, she's near me. Fuck, is Starfallen about to die? Tiffany, you see that there is a secret door contained

within this fake wall you move to just inspect it but accidentally you you open it so you press in a brick and as you press in a brick you realize that that is the mechanism for opening the door but as the door opens you see a flash of light and the glyph, a magical glyph that you do not identify, is broken by the door opening. It flashes and every creature in this room is going to need to make a dexterity saving throw. Good. Good thing I'm super good at them. All right, Pop, you need to make a saving throw. You fail.

Fuck. Although you do really well. You got 21. How did I? Fuck. You needed 24. Tiffany, you do very poorly and fail. Flask of Wine passes.

You will be the only one so far. Starfall one passes. Sister Sias fails. She can't succeed unless she gets a 20. Tlad the Drow rolls a one. Belendra fails, but then uses an ability to just pass. God, she's cool. And so.

Mumbles and Tiffany too? Oh, Mumbles and. Oh, no, they're going to die. What? Mumbles. Not Cliffany. Both fail. What? Mumbles. Not Tiffany. Tiffany both fail. Not Clofany. So Pop, a

wave of frigid air passes out through the corridor. As it washes over you, you take 24 points of damage. Oh, that feels good. Tiffany, did you pass or you failed? You take 24 points of damage. Fl feels good tiffany did you pass or fail you failed you take 24 points of damage flask of wine passed and takes 12 points of damage i don't think he has evasion

the star fallen takes 12 points of damage sister sias takes 24 points of damage to add the drow he failed takes 24 points of damage oh you see he'll be fine velendra takes no damage oh is she just immune to this anyway no she's not just immune but adam makes her immune because that's the kind of piece of shit he is and then it washes over tiffany and both of them are outright slain their frigid frozen corpses hit the ground and shatter both of them are dead very very dead was she really alive you know at the exact same time a wall of flames springs up where the curtain is a giant wall of flames consuming the corridor there is no way to get past it it bade sister sias who fails a saving throw she's going to take a bunch of extra damage oh same damage but fire sister sias takes a further 18 points of fire damage

And then everyone rolls initiative For what? For events I'm sick of fighting I just wanted to go home I even turned my back on treasure Alright, so Flask of Wine goes first Flask of Wine darts in through the doorway

As tactical as he can be. He sweeps the area with his bow and calls back, All clear. All clear, Tango. Wait, why are we in initiative if it's just a door? That's a good question. It's Valindra's turn. Valindra takes a few steps back from the fiery wall And mutters something to herself

Pop, it's your turn Did I hear what she said? Nope Not over the roaring flames What the fuck? What am I doing? Adam, I'm not fighting anything There's nothing to fight

I've never heard you be so upset Well, I'm in a corridor, Adam I punched the corridor Fuck, I don't know Can I do damage to the corridor? You can try, I don't know. Can I do damage to the corridor? You can try. I don't know. Do you want to move somewhere? So did Floss go into the room that Tiffany was investigating?

Yep. But there's nothing in there? Yep. Oh, well, he calls out that it's clear. He doesn't say there's nothing in there. But that's the same thing. No, there could be objects or items in the room. There's nothing to do. Mm-hmm.

You don't have to do anything. It's just like, follow Flask. You enter into the room after Flask. So annoying. Nothing to fight. Why would you do this to us? A pool of jet black ooze glistens inside this silent chamber, whose walls are decorated with relief carvings depicting black stars. The pool of ooze sort of gives off like a magical aura or energy to it.

Those black stars look similar to the black star death crown thing that I've got. Probably not. Oh. You don't think this is in any way related? No, no, cool, because I just know that that thing was like oblivion manifest. So. Hey, did you collect anything? What items do you still have from the different hags that you fought before?

Oh, I took one of their, what's the special thing that gives them their powers? Oh, the gem. The gem. I took her gem. The black gem. They're heart stones. Yeah, I've got a heart stone. Did you take that pouch?

No, that's not. I took Baggy Nana's heart stone. Heart stone? It was in the pouch. Did you take just the heart stone or the entire pouch? It had five black gems in it in addition to the heart stone. Hey, Adam. Yeah?

Yes, I kept the pouch. The stones inside the pouch thrum with the same magical energy as the pool. You can tell that they work together. That's handy. If I hadn't had the pouch, I bet I'd be in real trouble. Yes. This is odd. What's odd?

The pouch with the- Tiffany, it's your turn. They're vibrating with that. Should we put one in? Tiffany, it's your turn. What would you like to do? I'm talking to Pop. You can't talk for too long.

You have six seconds. Should we put one in? I hold the pouch out to you. I throw one into the ooze and step back. All right, so you enter the room as well. Throw one into the ooze and step back. All right, so you enter the room as well. Throw one into the ooze and step back. The black marble sinks into the ooze, which rises up suddenly to form a four-foot-tall black obelisk,

a miniature version of the obelisk that stood outside of the tomb entrance. Then it's the Wall of Fire's turn. The Wall of Fire moves 10 feet down the corridor Very glad we're in the room Yeah, boy The Starfallen is consumed in flames And so is Sister Saiyas Uh-oh

Oh no Both of them take, not a lot, 12 points of damage Okay, that's alright That's fine, they can have that, I don't mind Alright, that was the Fire's turn It's Talad's turn. Talad kind of understands which way the winds are blowing, as it were, and he also enters the room.

So does the Starfallen, and so does Sister Sias. Then it's Flask. No, Flask has had too much. He doesn't know what to do. He starts panicking and holds his turn. Flask, oh my god. Flask's going to wait until after you two do something. Valindra takes one look at the stone obelisk and, Pop, you're the only one who hears her say this.

She mutters it to herself. She mutters, nothing ventured, nothing gained. She throws her arm into the obelisk. Jesus fuck. With like a popping sound, she disappears. What happens to the obelisk? It stays. It's still there. Then it is your turn, Pop. I'm going to hold my action to the end. Of this round? Yes. Okay. Follow her.? Yes. Okay. Follow her.

Go. Get out. What? That's the obelisk from the outside. I don't know how long that's going to last for. I've got a finite number of black fucking rocks. Go. I stick my arm in. Tiffany, you disappear.

Then it's Flask's turn. Flask also disappears. He plunges. He doesn't plunge his arm in there. He just dumps it. Flask leaps into the obelisk. Is the obelisk still standing? Yeah, it's still there. Telling the others to get in this fucking room.

You can hear the roaring flames. They begin licking at the doorway to this room. Talad goes in. Starfallen goes in. Does he go to go in? Who? Talad. What about him? Do I want him to leave this dungeon, Adam? You, well, I don't know.

Does the obelisk look like it's losing its structure at all? No. So it's not a finite resource. You don't know. You don't really understand how the magic works. The obelisk doesn't look like it's changing. Well, it looks like, so it's made out of ooze, so it's like slowly dripping and stuff like that. But it doesn't look like it's changing. Well, it looks like, so it's made out of ooze, so it's like slowly dripping and stuff like that. But it doesn't look like it's shrinking.

Yeah, it looks like a water feature effect almost. As he goes to go. Uh-huh. Yes. So Starfall and Sister Sias are still yet to come through. They're next. They're in the room, but they haven't left yet. Right.

I grab Tlad and I drag him, like restrain him from leaving and i'd say you'll last with me tlad is going to resist good bring it on oh he rolls higher but i'm sure you're better at this okay you manage to wrap your arms around tlad. You don't get up to drag him away, but as he reaches out for the obelisk, you've, like, restrained his arms so that his fingertips are nearly at the obelisk, but not quite there.

Just in case there's not enough rocks. The Starfallen gives you, like, a worried look. She doesn't really... Go! She has... you like a worried look she doesn't really go she has she so tlad as a drow is not really a friend of the star fallen and she is not really a friend of his but you see that there's like this is a bad act she doesn't like it it fits wrong with her yeah that's a mean thing to do with her she however launches herself into the obelisk and disappears. So does Sister Saiyas.

Then we'll go back to the fire. The fire begins entering the room and you can feel the heat of it on your back. And the obelisk's still there? Yeah. Pop, you and Tlad are the last living. I mean, the last party members who haven't- Wait, what? You're the last party members to-

You're the last ones to go. It's you and tlad i think tlad actually will be acting first no no pop your first yeah i drag us both through the into the obelisk i don't let go of him well uh you kind of almost half let go of him but both of you both of you launch yourselves into the obelisk as soon as you touch it you feel like a force grab you around the navel and drag you into the into the obelisk oh fuck you feel yourself drifting through a black haze you feel heavy then light then heavy again and then your body kind of returns to normal and you with like a unceremonious flop get dumped out at the obelisk out the front

of the dungeon is this real or is this just another one of azorak's tricks find out next time on once upon a time in zombie plate chopped we have a lot of fun here at Sandspan's Radio, but to relax, I like to yell at or just generally bully my good friend slash enemy, Jackson. And I've found the best way to do that is to give him a little responsibility and watch him fail miserably. That's why I love recording our show,

Jackson Bailey Spooks America. Jackson, an avid amateur cryptozoologist and UFO enthusiast, loves to chat about supposed sightings and strange phenomena. And I love to mock him for not properly researching things or only looking into them 10 minutes before we start recording. It's good fun and the best way for me to unwind after a long day doing actual work. So if that sounds right for you, head on over to SantsPantsRadio.com and sign up for any level of our Sants Pants Plus subscription today. each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner.

Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got 5 minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app.

Call yourself a runner. Peloton All Access Membership a runner. Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch. D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word,

where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sandspans Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.