De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan - All Signs Point to Having More Children

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

Oh our sweet, sweet De-Influencers… Do we have an episode for you! We’re fresh off the plan from spring break and just like our brains after a family vacation this episode is all over the map in the best chaotic Austin-Ramirez fashion! We talk about birth order, Dani’s new love for the A Court of Thorns and Roses series, Jason Kelce's retirement, her weirdly close connection to Shaq and her potentially, maybe being a furry ally??  Yeah... we know, our minds are spiraling too. AND that’s not even all we talk about on this episode either, which means you’re absolutely going to want to listen in this week. There are many laughs and thought provoking conversations. De-Influencers, you know we love you and all your witty comments and interaction with our socials, so keep it up! If you haven’t, go follow @deinfluencedpodcast on Instagram and TikTok where we aim to provide you with comedic relief that you can share with family and friends who may not know about us. We’d also love for you guys to subscribe to De-Influenced on Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts! This way you'll never miss our incredibly entertaining episodes. Feel free to leave us a rating or review while you're there!! We would be so, so grateful! Go to tryarmra.com/DANI or enter DANI to get 15% off your first order!  Head over to dreamlandbabyco.com and enter code DANI at checkout to receive 20% off + free shipping! This code applies to new and existing customers. Books: ⁠ Birth Order Book A Court of Thorns and Roses ⁠The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry⁠⁠ WE LOVE YOU!! XOXO

And welcome back to your favorite podcast. De-influenced. We look really nice today. Well, we're matching, but we're straight off the airplane. It's so funny. Like, I did not know that you were wearing this hat. No, it happens all the time. It happens all the time.

So I have a dilemma when it comes to my hats. Uh-huh. So do you ever tuck your ears in like this? No, only you do that. And I've always thought it was very odd. So here's my thing, though. When I tuck my ears out, this is what it looks like.

It hits my ears and then pushes them out. You might not have the right ears for hats. I don't have the right head for a lot of things I've noticed. I actually have a very large head. Yeah. Like the top of it. Stella has a pretty big head too. Yeah, I know.

Poor girl. I heard it. But I never, I never can tell until you wear hats. But it's like there are people that can wear hats and there are people that can't. I used to always think I couldn't wear hats, but it actually just meant I needed a very specific type of snapback. It's kind of like the same feeling I'm getting right now is like when my trail leading coach was like you will never do the splits.

Like it's just not in the cards for you. No, rock it. It's really upsetting for me. But I really, I think if I had to pick between two options, I would say you should untuck your ears. Really? Yeah. Oh no.

Because it's very odd. Because I've always thought like. It's very odd that you're talking. But now my ears like so big. No. They don't. Well, good. It feels better this way.

Yeah. I mean, that was very unnatural. My ears are breathing. If people saw you out in person, they'd be like, hey, your ears are tucked into your hat. No, I've done it my whole life. And I've never said that. So it's been fine. Yeah, this is the way you should do it for sure.

Sound off in the comments. Do you tuck your ears in your hat or leave them out? Yeah, so we look like this because we were fresh off the airplane. We just landed from Miami. We did our kids spring break in Miami, took both the babies. It was one heck of a trip. I mean, I had a blast. One out of ten.

Rate it. I would say a 10 for me. 10. Yeah, I feel like because it was like a family trip, like you and I didn't really bond very much. I know, that was hard on me. I thought you're, I honestly thought the entire time you're just PMSing. And it actually adds up because it's the eighth through the 11th. Dude, we have, we have a two year old and a three year old. I know. I, there was no extra energy in my body or space in my heart to also care for you. Like, it was so hard and draining, but like so good at the same time that if there was ever an extra energy. moment like it was going towards babies you know but like I feel like you just have to know and we just got back from Cabo for Valentine's Day so I was like it's fine oh my gosh that was like a month ago I knew way more than this I did tell you every single morning that you woke up I loved you I know you did

honestly and that really was sweet but it actually confused me because I was like wait I'm confused because I think she's mad do you want to know how mad I thought you were or frustrated is when we got there So we booked it through a travel agent. And when we got there, Addie, shout out. Addie, shout out. We got there. I was like, oh my gosh, she does not like this place.

No, I loved it. It was amazing. And so stealth mode, I texted Adi and Brain and I was like, hey, guys, mono e mono. I was like, happy wife, happy life. I do not think wife is happy. It's too soon to tell. But I was like, what are our options to switch hotels?

And meanwhile, I'm like that, that, night at dinner. I'm like, this is the most amazing hotel. I'm obsessed with this place. I know. It's just like this happens every PMS period. Like I do not know how to read the room. I'm like, okay. Is she happy? Is she mad? Is she frustrated? And towards the end of the trip, I was actually at peace because I was like, you know what? This is not about me. This is about her and our kids right now. And I'm totally good with that. And I want to be supportive of that. Here's the other thing, too. You have to realize I still had to work a little bit on that trip. True. You know. And, And so, sorry.

Why are you laughing? Because I always say like I had to work, but like I probably didn't. Yeah, you did it. You're just like, you're an addict. When I said, I was like, I'm such a liar. I'm lying. No, but I did have to work like for like there were a couple things I had to do. No, it's so funny because even before the trip, I was like, hey, like, what's your, I was like, because we worked very hard the week before spring break.

Like probably harder than we've worked all year for sure. It was like a burning at Can-Bled both ends. I feel like every week is like that. No, that was like a lot, a lot. Okay. So before we left for the trip, I was like, hey, like, what are your expectations? Like, you know, do you want to kind of just like take it easy? You know, not film as many stories.

And you were like, if I don't link these swimsuits and these outfits I put together, I'm going to walk out livid. And I was like, okay. Well, no. That's okay with me. Here's the thing. This is actually the truth behind it is Jordan was like, why? It's like one day taking off.

You two weeks ago said, hey, we're going to Miami. Did you order swimsuits like, you know, that you're going to want to share? And I was like, oh, yes, I need to start doing that. I put in so much work trying to find like the most amazing Amazon swimsuits, Amazon coverups. Like those things don't just like magically show up. And not only that, but you order like 20 things from Amazon and only like three are good. And I don't share the rest that are bad.

I usually just return them because they're bad. But like, so there's so much back-end work that goes into finding good finds that that one morning when I put it on and I want to like post it for five, It takes me five minutes and you're like, let's go. I get frustrated because I'm like, I spent so much time trying to find like good value things. Yeah. You know? No, I felt it.

I was trying to find the landmines the whole trip. But no, I think that honestly, it was great. 10 out of 10 is a big score for you. I had a blast. You're not a 10 out of 10 girl. It's usually like 8 to 9. We stayed at a place called the Aquilina in Miami and it was so great for kids. My biggest issue, though, is my son.

hates the pool and my daughter hates the beach. So it was a really interesting place to take my kids because they hated one like 50% of the day. And so like, but all I'm like, guys, we have a pool at home. Like Stella, you can swim at home. Like let's go to the beach. But she hates the sand, you know? Honestly, they both get, they hate getting sand like on them. They're like literally one grain of sand and Stella would throw a tantrum. So like it was basically me just kind of trying to trying to convince them to go play in the beach and like look for seashells. She wouldn't even pick up a seashell because it was dirty. Like it was just like a mess.

And then Stratton like needs two naps and then he's like, you know, and he's constipated. And he's constipated. And then the sunscreen like I'm so stressed out because the sun is so strong. Speaking of which I got the most gnarly sunburn on my chest and my feet only because I didn't think about my feet. I forgot for some reason. And it's so annoying because I am. like the sunscreen Nazi. Like I never get sunburned. I always have sunscreen on. But like,

it was like, it was kind of like that last night of the trip where I was like, I'm gonna let loose. Like I'm just gonna let it go and like just lay out on the sun and not try to protect myself. Like just try to get like a little color. And you know, like all things in life, I took it one step too far. And now my armpits are so sunbured. It's, it like stinks to just sit here. But you look great coming out of the trip. It looks like a lobster. You look a little lobstrous, but it's not bad. Yeah. You know what I did read on this trip, though?

What? A book called The Burthing Order. Oh, interesting. Have you heard about this? Only because you talked about it 17 times. Yeah. So basically, you know, I started to realize, like, on this trip how, you know, Stella's the firstborn. She's very responsible.

She's very, you know, like put together. She likes to be very independent about everything. And Stratton just has his own little distinct personality. and someone I love Jefferson Bethke had always told me about this book called the birthing order, which basically like you can tell a lot about someone's personalities based on where they rank in the birthing order. Like firstborns are this, you know, the lastborns are always like entertainers. Like a lot of Hollywood stars are like lastborns.

Shout out, I'm a lastborn. Yeah, of their children. But I was reading a lot about this book and it made me kind of worried for a second about Stratton because it's very natural for the firstborn to get a lot of the attention because they get older. They're like the pet project of the parents. Like they're usually first time parents. They're trying to figure it out. And then like the second born. You're just like whatever goes. Kind of. Yeah. We're so like that with Stratton. We're so like that. And so like I, but you know, I, but you know, so I was like worried about it one night and you told me about it and you were like, hey,

like it's just the way things go. Like it's going to produce in him so much grit. And I've realized this about Stratton too. I was like he's going to have to fight for it. Like if he wanted to He's attention. He's at to fight for it, which is going to create, like, this good thing in him. And he's like, have you ever noticed he's like such a joker? Yeah, I love it. He's like, he's like a practical joker. Like today on the airplane, like I was trying to work and he was like kind of like standing by my feet.

And he would just like tap the keys and I'd be like, like, Stratton stop. And he would just like look at me and then tap the keys again and like start laughing. He loves to mess with you. He loves to mess with Stella. He loves to mess with me. Like, he loves to mess with everyone. And like I tell him, it's funny because like I'll tell him stratt and like, don't hit and he'll look at me.

and like he'll be like and then he'll just kind of like hit me really soft like like he's just messing around Stella we used to be like don't hit and sell you in the face and slap you as hard as she could still and John's like well no like I'm gonna hit still and just like making a joke it's so cute it's so interesting everyone should read the book though

it's been very telling for me like I'm a perfectionist oh because you're the first yeah because I'm a firstborn and firstborn's like feel this intense responsibility of like if no one does it it won't get done See, that's so not Landon. I know. I was talking about Landon with you. Landon's a conundrum to me.

So we call him and tell him this? Yeah. Because why wasn't he like that with me? Yeah, that might just be the way y'all are race. I don't really know. But this was like illuminated this whole firstborn, last born thing. You know where it hit me the hardest was your mom and dad? So your dad is like such a joker, like very easy going.

You know, but like I think that I won't, you know, sometimes your mom. mom's like, hey, like, will you take out the trash and he'll just forget to do it, right? And that's a very lastborn trait. Your mom was a firstborn and she took care of like all of her brothers and sisters. And that's why she's so reliable. She's so dependable. She knows how to do everything. Yeah. But what I learned the most through this book that I really want to start watching out for when it comes like Stradner, if we ever had future kids is it puts a lot of pressure on the firstborn because we're always like, oh, do it like Stella or do it like this or, you know, you have this kind of like high. expectation that Stella should be able to do X, Y, Z, and Stratton's a baby, so Stratton shouldn't

have to. And so even like the way that you communicate to your firstborns is so, it's so natural and inherent. Like we're not doing anything wrong, but it's what makes them further a firstborn and further a secondborn or middle child or whatever. It's so interesting. I feel like if I had a sister that was similar, like a year or two older or younger than me, I would be a completely different person. And like, I don't know if it would be in a good or bad way. Like, My brother and I, I mean, we're five years apart, but we were polar opposite. Like, we were interested in completely different things. I was sports.

He was music. He was shot. I was outgoing. Like, there was never any, like, comparison when it came to the two of us because we were on different planets. He went to private school. I went to public school. Like, there was nothing that ever, like, like, like, in five years apart.

And five years apart. But there's nothing like within the family that created, like, I can't even imagine. Like, I think if I had a sister, I would have killed her. Like, I literally don't think I could have done it because I, I think, think she would have driven me nuts. Like having someone like that around that's just like me doing the same exact thing as me. Maybe I would have been like maybe I would have. So you're speaking so much as a last born child though. Because what would happen, you said it would have changed everything. It would have because you would have become a middle child and middle child's middle children are

very like the mediators. They want to bring everyone together. So like last children are like I can get away with anything. I can do anything. You know, I'm an entertainer. Middle children are like the ones that are mediators and then firstborns are like. the responsible CEOs, you know? And so it would have changed like everything for you. And also the last thing I'll say about this is it made me want to have more sooner. I know. You can bring that up at dinner. Because because what happens like when you have them close together, it becomes like a little packed and like they all they all kind of understand their places in the birthing order. Jefferson, Beth, he's coming on our podcast and I cannot wait to talk to

about this because he has kids really close and he's the one who's probably taught me everything I know about like building cultures or dynamics within your family and it's just so much easier when they're closer like you and I had siblings that were five years apart yeah and it's hard to understand what it's like for Landon to go through high school when you're just like going through middle school exactly right and so I really want them I did I had chat chb-t make me a chart of like when Stella's 18 how if we had one what you said July yeah got pregnant in July how old would this you know, this one be. And they would all go through high school together.

That's so cool. Oh, the pressure is on. I know. But that being said, we're balancing that with like. That I was always so jealous. At the Aquilina, like, okay, not really being able to enjoy a single second because it's like something's going on. I walked away with that being very full, but people talk about how family vacations are.

Daining. No, they are. But like they say something. There's like a really good buttoned up saying it's like, family vacations or I don't know they're not like relaxing they're like it's a different type of dynamic yeah it's it's work it's like it's another job yeah but I will say there was one night that like you went to bed and like my favorite thing about family vacations with the kids is like all the rules go out the window so it's like ice cream every night candy for breakfast like I'm like

who cares we're on vacation and I tell the kids that and we wake up the first thing I'm like what do guys want to do like they kind of determine the day and my favorite night was stella stayed up really late with me one night and you and struton went to bed and we just were talking like having girl talk and she goes mommy i don't ever want to leave i love it here i want to live at the hotel and she was like i'm so happy i love it she's like i love Miami like it was so cute and i was like this is just so worth it and so when you get those like little moments where your kids are so happy it's so worth it but like, yeah, I was like kind of miserable a lot of the time. Yeah.

But like so happy. Like that's always a 10 out of 10 for me. It's all expectation. What do you think about the Miami culture? I don't really feel like we experienced it. Because we were in North Miami. Yeah, we were kind of in a bubble almost. I would say we experienced it a little bit.

Like I saw some like really young girls married to like not young men. Well, pay, love has no limits or bounds or age gaps. Okay. but like really hot. Look at Kristen Cavalari right now. She's in love. Okay, I hate to talk about the Kristen Cavalry thing really fast. I don't know.

I was going to go there. I have some thought opinions, but I feel like this is a really hot button topic. I don't want to talk about his age at all. Like don't care about his age. What I care about is his TikTok. What I care about is the thought process or the mindset or the text group that's like, hey guys, want to come over and make a music video,

singing. That's what's going on. What if you were doing that with your buddies? That's where I just can't. I mean, maybe there's compute. Yeah. Maybe they're just. But maybe it's like, you know what it might be. Maybe it's like a new cultural thing like where it's like, no mom like this is cool. Like this is what all the cool kids are doing. You know, because he's like 24. So it's like, you know, like. You know what I honestly thought is I thought that he was on only fans. And I felt like

that was promotion for his only fans. Oh. I don't have any, I have no facts behind this whatsoever. I just, what about the other three dudes? Yeah, I felt like they were all kind of like Chippendale-esque niche Montana Chippendale guys. They're just like thirst trap boys.

Like they're probably just. That's what I'm saying is like, why would you be just a thirst trap boy for the sake of being a thirst trap boy? Because you get a bunch of followers on TikTok. Yeah, to push them somewhere. Like you've got to monetize it somehow. True. Like why are you doing that?

Yeah. My understanding was like in. Unless you're like the old Bryce Hall E-boys, which they're young enough, they were like 16, 17. So they're just like building their careers. Yeah, they're just like in middle school. Like that's different. Like these guys were like out of college, like doing this. So in my opinion, it was like we need to find a niche.

Or maybe it was to find a wife. You know what? Here's my theory. I'm standing by this one. My theory is that Yellowstone came out. Okay. Oh, yes. America went nuts over this show.

Yes. Kevin Costner. They were like, you know, we cannot compete with these Vegas male strippers. So true. What can we compete with? No Chippendale. We can compete with Yellowstone mixed with Chippendales. And cowboys.

Not a lot of shirtless cowboys were online yet. And then they all bandied together. They're just geniuses. And they created Montana Boys. Is it with a Z? And then they, we got to find out if they're on it. I have an idea. I have an idea.

Hold my hand. we should have them on the podcast, the Montana boys. We should just all of them? Or can we just like, can we just bring the one? Wait, let's have Kristen and what's his name? I don't know. That's the thing is like, who knows his name? So the point is that I support all women who want to date or marry younger men.

And I am a feminist through and through and believe in marriage having no bounds. I just want to clarify my stance on this topic. Oh my gosh. Okay, but going back to the Miami situation, I saw a whole lot of that. I've never seen so many rules, voices in my life. Yeah.

Like, it's so flashy there. I felt like I was in like Europe or something. So Jess came. Yes. Was it everything that you had hoped for? Everything and more. Yes? I love her.

She was sweet. So sweet. I was not expecting for the podcast. to have as much depth as it did? I was. Oh, you were? 100%. I had to, like, that's why.

I binged it the night before. Yeah, no, I'm not going to lie to you. I invited two people from that season. And it was Brittany and Jess because of, because of that. I felt like we needed to get to know her more. I felt like you can tell when someone, first of all, like she mentioned on the show that she grew up like kind of facing a lot of adversity going through foster homes, you know, meeting her God-given family.

So I knew that she had this like incredible backstory. you. But then the way that she kind of presented herself or the way that she acted on that show like I had so much mad respect for her that I was like there's got to be something deeper. So like so I kind of knew same with Brittany. Yeah. Would you ever have Jimmy on?

Yeah. I would you know. Can we reach out to him? This podcast has no bounds. I really feel like Jimmy being on this podcast would be a good idea. I would love that. Where is he sitting today? I know that he had a, he had some. Wait. So the reunion is coming out soon. So we will know.

But I did see that he was like out to dinner with Chelsea recently. You know, they could just be hanging out. Like I don't know if they're dating per se. Gosh. You know, all this happened a year ago. That's crazy. Yeah, that's what's so wild. You know, it's hard for me.

I'm not going to lie. It's hard for me to be on this podcast right now. Like my body just tensed up. It's hard for me to be on this podcast right now because I recently started a new book called Court of Thorns and Roses or just Court of Thorns. And honestly, I'd much rather be reading that right now. It is so good. It took me a while to get hooked into this book, first of all, because like the kids on

the beach, like you have no time to read. But then whenever they did go down for naps where we're eating lunch, I finally pulled the book out. I had on my Kindle. And I just kept pushing through each chapter. because it's fantasy. And like, I'm not a fantasy role. I'm not a Harry Potter girl.

I say that, but then I was like such a Hung Graham's fan and such a Twilight fan. And this book, I mean, I just like can't. But I can't even try to explain to you because I would sound so stupid. Yeah, you're like,

and then he fell in love with a unicorn. Yeah, and the centaur. Yes. No. No, actually, though. Actually, like, that's exactly what it's like.

But like my mind is just tribe of trolls. Yes, really, though. They're really are. They're called fairies. Okay. There are fairies. Yeah, this one shocks me. This is not anything I would have ever expected you to get into.

But like the way, like the fact that people are so creative that they can write this and think this, like it just blows my mind. Yeah. It's so creative. And is there like love and like. Oh, well, I mean, we don't know, but I think so. Is there like? Is there like SEX?

I had not, no, not so far. Oh. Typically the books I read. Because when you say I'm reading a fantasy novel. Oh, you think. I kind of have this depiction. that like it's like this weird mythical

kind of romance slash 50 shades of gray type and I'm like babe that sounds really strange I'm gonna be honest with you most the books that I read are not like romantic like that they're not like spicy books no you read like historical

no I read like and then she was stabbed 17 times and then locked it like I don't even know like what's better but most of the books I read are like not spicy because not because, but I just like don't, like, that's not like my style. And honestly, like, I don't know why. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Like whenever there is like a sex scene, I'm like, oh my gosh. Like I literally, I'm like, oh, my God. I feel like I'm like a little child looking at something I shouldn't be. But anyway, so no, like that's not what I'm thinking that this book is, but maybe there is like a, it's kind of like a movie. There's probably like a scene or two if I had to guess. You know what I always thought would be a good idea? You'll never guess.

Let me just tell you. Okay. So what is this book called? I think it's a court of thorns and roses or a court of thorns. What are like three characters in the book? I can't even tell you. Like, okay, okay. They all, and are.

There's a phara, phara. They all have weird names. Tomlin, I think that's his name. Okay, what I always thought would be a good idea is like, because you are so invested in this book. Yeah. What if like after you read the book, It's like these characters like have podcasts.

And like you can like get to know the characters long form. And then like the mythology just like extends. It'd be like the character of friends. The characters are from friends. It'd be like if they started a podcast like in character. Wait, I don't think I like this idea. Really? Why?

Wait, I don't understand. Like what would they talk about? They would like it would almost be like an extension of the show. And so like they're talking about love is blind. But they're just in character. What happens at the end of friends? They move. Who moves away?

Chandler and Rachel? It's like they moved away to the suburbs, right? And it's like they started a podcast as Chandler and Rachel and just like talked about their lives. And it just like extended the mythology of friends. Yeah, but podcasts are supposed to be so real. I feel like that's what makes a show fun. But like it's like fan fiction.

Okay, you go work on that. Okay, I'm just. Fan fiction. That's one thing. Oh my gosh. That's what you're about to get into. You're like, you're like, you just took the gateway drug. I did.

The quick puff of the centars and you're about to go straight into a wormhole. No, I'm about to dress up like a high fay. That's what they call them the high fay. They're like the, they're like the most elite of the fairies. And like, and the fairies are not fairies. Like they don't like this.

They like, they're, they change form. Yeah. Anyway. Shapeshifters. Shapeshifters. Thank you.

Yeah. And like if they had a convention, I would go. Because here's the thing. This is the reason why. I was kidding. And now you're getting, now I'm worried. Can I tell you something?

This is why I would go is because this book, the way they describe these creatures is like, I really have to use my imagination. And I'm so curious what other people think that they look like. So we could all get together and dress like them. Okay. And dress and like see what we all thought that they would look like. This is why it would be so exciting to see if a movie ever did come out because the costumes would be insane.

I feel like... It's kind of like Twilight when we were all like, what is Edward and Jacob and Bella? What are they all going to look like? Who are they going to cast? It's like so exciting. But like this is even a step further because it's like it would require so many like special effects.

So let me ask you this. Controversial question. Yeah. Do you think that this is how people get on the pathway to becoming furries? Ooh. Just truly. I could see it now.

psychology for a second. Yes, I could see it now. Because it doesn't it start with what, anime? That I don't know. Okay. I don't either. But all I'm saying is that do you feel like furries are misunderstood? Well, now after reading this book, it's possible. Man, if we were interesting enough, these would be some great headlines. Wait, should we have a furry on the podcast? You know, I'm going to say no. I feel like this is shrouded in a lot of, this is an ongoing conversation in the psychology community right now, and I just am not.

It's the thing, though, you always forget that we don't have to have people on the podcast that we agree with their mindset 24-7. That's so interesting. True. Like, why are you a furry? Why do you dress like an animal? Why do you drink out of a bowl? They'd be like, meow.

Miao, meow. Mew-Mex, Now makes me deliver. Oh my gosh. Did I talk about on the podcast how I saw that furry convention in San Diego? No. Oh, I don't think so. And I stuck around.

I was in a public park with Stella and Stratton, I think. Were they mating? No, listen. And this group of children, college kids. The furries. They looked like computer science grads. Okay, they'll be rude. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm being descriptive. Okay. No, you're not. You said computer science. And they were all, they were all carrying these bags, like big duffel bags. And they dropped it. And I was like, okay, there's like eight of these people.

There are kind of all like standing. Like they don't know each other. They look like they're doing something wrong. Yeah. I'm being honest. And they were the early people to this show. And then all of a sudden they unzipped their duffel bags and they pull out the big heads. Oh, so furries put on heads?

Yes. And they become dogs. I want to Google one. And, And then a couple of them had tails. Oh, yeah. I've heard about the tails. That they pulled out of their pants.

So they were hiding it in real life. And then once they knew they were in a safe park amongst my children, they pulled out their tails. And then I'm not kidding about this story. Then a truck pulls up. And they build a giant tent. And they pull down the tent to where no one can see inside the tent. And all of these furries go inside. The furies.

And so then I was like, I'm uncomfortable. Like I'm going to go, we're going to get out of this park. And so then we get in the car and I drove back and forth like six or seven times because I just had to know what is going on in that tent. What do you think they're talking about in there? I don't know. Wait, I didn't realize that furries dress up in like full on mascot costumes. They look like mascots. No, babe.

Like they. I didn't realize that. I thought they literally would just like wear tails. No, they go to school like this. This is a big debate. There's no freaking way. Danny, I'm dead. This has to be in school dress code.

No, babe. This is not a dress code. This is an identity. Is this where they're using the litter boxes in the bathroom? Yeah. There's no way that we're... There's no way that this is reality. It's...

It's not. It's fantasy, which is the drug that you are playing with right now. But I'm a fairy too. No, you want to be a what? A fairy. It's not a fairy, a fairy. Yeah. What I'm saying is like,

A high fae. I want to be a highfe. You want to be a highfe. And roll over my, my court. You know, Danny's, Danny's an ally.

She's an ally to the fairy community. Pyrethian. That's where it is. Perithian. But you know what? Listen, to the furry community, for some reason,

I feel like they're actually really good hackers. Like they docks people and like, oh, destroy lives. So I just wanted the furry community to know that Danny is an ally. She is a hyphen, a hyphae, and she is not here.

She is not here. She is not here. to antagonize or to question you guys whatsoever in a public forum in a private question in a private forum we might have some questions um maybe some challenges to the belief system of your identity but in a public setting she is a hyphen ally high fe not a hyphen another exciting thing that's happening this week actually today is we're launching our dibby leaving conditioner do you want me to do a little ASMR She's so Gen Z, guys.

Stop. I'm doing ASMR. You're not the sticker. Stop. We got to get you off TikTok. You're on the road to demise right now. ASMR. Oh, wait. It smells so good.

So the thing with our leaving conditioner, I really didn't want just a detangler. I wanted something that also had a heat protected in it because we all blow dry our hair. You know, then we put a curling iron, straightening iron, whatever it is. So it protects up to 450. degrees detainles and smooths your hair. It has a lot of amino acids, a lot of great ingredients in it.

It also provides really lightweight hydration because some leaving conditioners, you spray like two or three times and it's so heavy. This one, you could like spray the whole bottle and it's very lightweight. And then because of the hydration, it's going to help reduce frizz and help reduce breakage too. So it's all three of one. And then also it just smells so good. So it'll leave your hair smelling, smelling amazing. So we have that launching today for my audience, and then it launches officially Thursday tomorrow. Woohoo! That's been in the making for a long time.

We were talking about like it literally takes forever to come out with these products. I think that it takes forever to count on the products the way we come out with products, which is like, and I'm not just saying this, like high standard, like, you know, we go back and forth with revision so many times, but I think to slap a label on something,

you could probably do it a lot faster. No, I know, because we got the first revision of this, like a year ago. And then I'm like, no, I wanted to be like this. So I want to do this. And then a whole other thing comes into place. So then finally you get the formula right, but then you have to get the bottle and the packaging right.

And for this, I really wanted like, that's the best packaging we've had so far. Thank you, babe. That's good. I worked very hands on with this one. I mean, I work hands on with all of them,

but like I was like, this is what I want for this one. That's the best bottle we've had. You know, I was told no on this one because of the white font with the green background. You don't tell her no.

And I was like, I'm going to do it anyway. I know. But sometimes when we just, do it anyway. Yeah. It's the best. No, I know.

I've learned that. Like, I'm just going to do it anyway. Like, I'm going to do it the way I want to do it. Same. Same. So, yeah, we did the white font with the green background. And then my other thing is like, I just really, like, every single product that we have, I just like the word, like, juicy.

Like, I like whenever the pumps are really, like, easy to use. You get a lot of product out. Like, it's like very, it's not like ASMR, but, like, it's just, like, fun. It's aesthetic. Yeah, it's aesthetic, but it's like a vibe to you. I don't know how to explain it. But anyway. So, yay.

Last thing in our little catch up, we never addressed this. Usually it's you talking about the Kelsey Brothers, not me. Yeah. Did you see that Jason retired? Okay. No, it was really sweet. Let me read you what he said in his retired. Did you see?

But like he retired too long ago, I feel like. He talked about this like weeks ago. No, babe. Really? You're in a time work. No, I feel like everybody knew who's going to retire. No, let me see. Okay, let me just say really fast.

I feel like I know more about football than most people only because I'm on every single Taylor Swift forum. So like I actually learned about the Kelsey brothers. Like I feel like way before anybody else does because I, so I don't. Like Reddit? I subscribe to every Taylor Swift Reddit forum. And not only that, but they pop up as notifications on my phone because I'm not on read it like held to the nah but like I only get on to check Taylor's fifth stuff so like I feel like I know about Jason Kelsey retiring like months ago well I don't think it was a surprise that he retired

what I'm talking about is the speech he announced it oh okay no no I'm sorry yeah no I didn't okay I'll show that did you watch the speech that he gave no I didn't babe it was like I'm surprised you didn't I'm surprised it's not fed to you algorithmically where Travis was crying trying to spend with spend time with my kids okay watch it you should watch it okay but but But I just want to read this quote while you're watching it. It was really my brother and I, our whole lives. We did almost everything together, competed, fought, laughed, cried, and learned from each other. We invented games, imagined ourselves as stars players of the, oh, wait, imagined ourselves

a star players of that time. We'd envision making the winning plays day after day on Collaridge Road. Oh, that's sweet. We grew up. We won countless Super Bowls in our minds before ever leaving the house. My question is, do you think that Lanham will write a speech from me when he retires? I don't know right to see No

I think Landon will write me the speech When he retires Like the callous hours That we filmed YouTube videos together Did try on halls I think so Okay so do you think they're going to keep up with the podcast? Yeah I think that they will

I think I think he's going to struggle though Because it's like Travis's whole podcast It's going to be about him playing football And then like rehashing plays Well, I guess he can still, like, weigh in on his now little brothers, like life and stuff. And don't guys love to listen to guys talk about football? Yeah, but it was just different when it was like they were both playing, I feel like.

Yeah, that's so interesting. Yeah, it was so interesting. Jason is still going to know so much about what's going on that, like that. And he'll probably become a commentator. Yeah. And it'll be a good time. Wow. Do you think it was like weird that Taylor wasn't there?

It seems like not very supportive. No, that's a little too intimate, I would think. Yeah. Like she's probably on tour, like a little. a busy. Yeah, she's busy. Speaking of Jason Kelsey, things that make you go, hmm, this has to do about Shaquille O'Neal warns Jason Kelsey to put family first in retirement. Oh, this is my idea. So I saw this post, and Shaq had actually sent and said this to Jason Kelsey after his retirement. He said, my advice to you is that if you're going to retire, accept it. Shack said in the course of their

conversation, enjoy your family. Enjoy your family, brother. I made a lot of dumb mistakes to where I lost my family and didn't have anybody. He also did not say dumb mistakes. He said, dumb mistakes. Babe. Sorry. I wanted to quote him correctly. He said, I hope that's not the case for you. Enjoy your beautiful wife. Enjoy your beautiful kids and never dwell on what we had. So it's almost like, I think that a lot of these guys who retire from playing sports, they don't really know how to build a new life after that. We need to back up a little bit. Okay. So are we saying Shaq lost his family? Is that just a true? True? Yeah. It says Shaq's wife divorced him in 2011. Oh. And he had alluded that he was

unfaithful during their relationship. He said he now lives all alone in a giant house because of his previous mistakes. Oh, that breaks my heart. Yeah. But you know what? Good for him for using his platform to like warn people about this. Because, you know, Shaq was like the guy that had it all. In fact, I have a very direct connection with Shaq. In fact, if I wanted to call him up, I probably could right now. What is your direct connection? Well, I'll tell you. So my parents, best friend, one of their best friends, Logan, Talbert's dad, sells Shaq all of his Mercedes. And he buys a lot of Mercedes. Yeah. Oh, yeah, because he's from Louisiana. Yeah, so he and they knew each other very well. And, um, and he always had a lot of, a lot of great positive

things. Very nice guy. Always so nice to the kids. If you go to this Mercedes dealership in Mr. Talbot's office, you have pictures of shack everywhere. Like whenever he comes in, he's taking pictures with the kids. You know, he takes pictures with the kids, palms in their hands. Wow. Super nice guy. It's always been very, very like down to earth. Sweet. I mean, huge, huge guy. But yeah, I mean, they always had the best things to say about him. But that doesn't allude to his like family, his relationships or his personal life. I'm just personally rooting for Jason Kelsey in this next chapter because it's like he seems like a really good dad. Yeah. He seems like a really good husband. He seems very grounded. But I think it would probably be hard to stay

grounded throughout all the fame that has gone on around him, especially like in the later years. But I just think that when you lose your purpose, especially for like men, when you give up your job and you lose your purpose, it's like, what do I do with it after? Like can he go full tilt and just being a dad, being a husband? And he'll still have his podcast and, you know, commentating. But it sounds like it's not what Shaq did. But you know, Shaq has stayed really busy. He invested in a lot of restaurants. Yeah, Papa John. DJs. He was on like every single ad imaginable. I feel like he stayed like very relevant and busy. But was that just him chasing his own shadow?

Yeah, probably. From what was like when he was a Laker. I would say that Shaq even like so much respect toward the big man. But I would say he even like kind of sold out a little bit and probably took on too many brand deals and was the face of too many things. Yeah. Like whenever he became like, I think he did something with like like fungus cream or some foot thing. And I was like Shaq like come on, you don't have to be doing it. Like you're Shaq.

Like you don't have to do that. She don't have to do Ben Gay. You don't have to do Ben Gay, Shaq. But yeah, I bet it's really hard for guys, especially like in the NFL where that's all they've known as that's basically their identity. And then not only that, but like they're spending a lot more time at home. They're not traveling as much. They're not around other guys as much.

Like it has to be really hard to make that transition over. Yeah. And all of a sudden it's like your wife expects like more out of you to be more hands on. Like it's just a lot. It's like you don't have an excuse now to be. busy. It's like, hey, we work so hard that you can be here and now be here. Like, be present. And I think just turning that switch off is really hard. I think it's hard for like even the average Joe, to be honest. Like, it's hard for me too. I know. I feel you shocked.

I don't want to be in a big house problem myself. I definitely want to de-influence ambition in the expense of family time because like I have even got caught up. in that before where I look back and I'm like, you know, like, what are my kids going to say about me? Like, am I always, are they going to say mommy was always on her phone? Mommy was always working. Like, yeah. And when I look back at my parents or especially time with my mom, like my mom worked a lot, but I never thought of her as someone that worked a lot. Like I always thought of her as someone that always tried to prioritize me over work. Yeah. But she went on trips. She was, she was a model. She was running a, she was on a TV show.

she did like she was working in Vegas and all these different cool places but like I always felt like my mom would show up if I needed her and I really I'm like I hope my kids would say the same thing about me yeah I think that like whether you're a laker or a famous athlete or an influencer or a CEO it's all kind of relative it's like the same problem just like manifested in different ways the most interesting person that I feel like we talked to lately who dealt with this was umbervin's box yes the owner of like to know it do you want to tell the story I mean she's I want you to tell a story, but I'll set the back story. Amber and Baxter are extremely successful.

They have, I believe, four children. They're a family from Dallas. I mean, they just raised $100 million from SoftBank for, like to know it. And obviously, it's like a very successful company. And they're kind of like from the outside looking in. And honestly, the inside out, because we have had like deep conversations with her. They're like amazing people. They go to our church, Watermark here in Dallas.

and but like they just kind of seem like they have it all. And she's always just been someone that I deeply respect. Well, about a year ago, all of a sudden, they packed up their whole family and moved out to, where was it? It's West Texas, like Marfa, Alpine, St. Dave. And when I tell you guys, West Texas, like, imagine Breaking Bad when they go and like, and like cook all of the meth or whatever they're cooking in the desert. In the desert.

Like that's what it looks like. Like there are no restaurants. There is not a Walmart nearby. Maybe there is, but I think it's like pretty far. And so this is like actually like far, far away from from major cities. And so it was always like so interesting. We always wanted to, you know, talk to her and ask her why. And I don't know if we made up this term or she made up this this term, but we called it deschooling.

Yeah. I think we made that up. You told me that that's what she called it. And I was fascinated. I think I maybe made that up because then we brought up to her in the second conversation. She was like, no. And that was embarrassing. But yeah, we saw her in Miami in the lobby at the LTK panel that you were on.

And the first thing I wanted to ask her about was why you moved to West Texas. Because I knew that there was a heart behind it. Like she's a believer. It was a very intentional decision. You don't just uproot and move out there. Like it, you don't, I don't think Texans don't understand or non-Texas don't understand. There's nothing out there. Like there's truly nothing.

The one thing I will say because of the elevations. it's a little bit higher. It's actually really nice out there, she was saying, like the weather is amazing. So you can actually play outside because here in Dallas, like, it's so hot in the summer.

You can't like be outside at all. No, but like what I equate it to is like, it would be like if I asked Danny to move to like Rockwall. You know, it's just like, it's like asking you to move an uproot into an area that is like outside of the city,

outside of the urban, you know, populace or whatever. And so I asked her, I was like, hey, like tell me about the heart of like why y'all moved out there. And she just talked to,

about. She was like, man, we have been operating, like to know it for years. We're so busy. Like, my kids were getting older. Like they're crossing five and six and seven. She was like, I just felt like I was constantly bombarded by the obligations, whether it's like small birthday parties or like, you know, these brunches that I was inviting to are responsibilities with work. And we have, or meetings. We go through this all the time. It's like we're constantly bombarded with opportunities. And no matter how much we say no to. And she said this too. She was like, it's like I couldn't know enough to find like the peace and like the the presence to just simply be with my kids. And she was like, it took us physically having to move out to West Texas before we finally

were able to be like, okay, I'm physically not here. So I will come back twice a month and I can get my work done in these blocks. And it's like she had to set the boundaries for herself. And it took it. And it was like an extreme boundary. I have never respected someone more because I feel like I struggle with this so much. It's like we say no to so many things. and still at the end of the day, everything is back to back to back to back, even on the weekends. And it's like, dude, I really just wanted to like hang with my kids or have a free weekend to go do something fun. And it's almost like we've built this, this world around us where it's like, if you say no to something, it almost hurts you like more in the long term because then you

hurt people's feelings. And it's like, wow, she didn't come to my birthday party, so I'm not going to go to her. It's like there's so much responsibility with the world that we've created. I think also, you know, being near our parents, like our parents also have expectations of us as well. And then in Dallas, there's like in this area that we live in, like, there's not a lot of good public schools. So we have to apply to private schools. So you have to like constantly be in the circuit of like networking and trying to get your kids into things because it's like so competitive. And it's like the only way to honestly get out of this like hustle culture that we've kind built around ourselves is to literally remove yourself from it because you're going to hurt more

people and like hurt your family by staying in it more. So like I've literally daydreamed lately of moving out to Nashville or moving to no I literally after talking to someone like her that I mean her company is way bigger than Divy and I'm sure her responsibilities though wear on her the same way that they wear on me and I want to have four kids too and like even going on this trip like there is I I don't know how I'm going to be a good mom and stay in Dallas like I don't know how it's going to be possible. Like I'm gonna, I'm already missing my friend Janelle's baby shower and like the guilt I have carried today because of it because we're going to San Antonio to be with my family and like I was also supposed to be a part of planning it and like being more invested in it. And she's like one of my

really good friends and like I feel so guilty about that. But I'm like, man, then I have two kids and spring break and it's just so hard. And I feel like I don't know. I've literally daydreamed up about it. But you know, people always say that something that I always come back to is people are like, you know, it's not your surroundings. Like wherever you go, your problems are going to follow you. But then I'm also like, I don't know. I don't know. I really don't know. I think that like something about you make fun of me all the time for this,

but like it's something about like also having like physical space too. Like we live on 0.25 acres, right? Yeah. Because we're in Dallas. We're in the city. And if we wanted to get an acre or two acres in Dallas just to give our kids a backyard to play in. Which just, you know, you like you can't get that in the area of Dallas we live in for like, less than $10 million.

It would be millions. For the land alone. Like it would be millions. And so it's like there's something to be said about like the choice of like going out and having land and open areas and like nature and like getting our kids away from cell phones and like getting us away from cell phones. It's like Sam Altman, the CEO of OpenAI, chat GBT. He every weekend, he will work in the city, San Francisco.

And then every weekend he like leaves on Thursday and takes his kids and his family out to a no-wifi ranch. See, that transition even going from like, that's so hard for me. It's for me. Like, I could pack a bag, like have things there. You just can't do that. Like, I've learned that about you. I've been like, hey, can we just have a lakehouse or just have a ranch house?

And you're like, no, we can't because like I need this stuff. And the stress of packing. It's almost more work of packing and more stress to get from point A to point B. Like, I just need to be where I need to be. Yeah. And I think that like, where was the way. I go with that. Oh, so it's like, you know, I think that there's something to be said about why these executives are like leaving the city to do that. I think that's why people love Nashville.

Yeah, it's both. I think you get a little bit of both. You can get land. You can get like open space. That's why all the celebrities move out there too. Yeah, because you want to be away from it. And for whatever reason, like Dallas, Dallas is a really hot city right now. And a lot of bloggers and a lot of influencers have moved there. And I think that that's so great for like industry and everything. The people are amazing. The people are amazing. It's just for us, I just don't see. And listen, I'm a process-oriented guy. Like, I've tried to hire so many people around us to be like, okay, how can we create space? How can we create boundaries? And it's just like, until we uproot it and set our own boundaries and be like, okay, we can work within this time and this time. I don't see how it's possible. And it's no one's fault. It's not even our fault. It's just like

a decision that has been made. What I've noticed being in Dallas too, it's been so challenging to build traditions. I mean, even small traditions like eating dinner around the table every night together. Because then what happens is then a girlfriend texting, hey, Bible study, my mentor, like, we always have commitments at night. And so to have dinner together every night is like nearly impossible. And I feel like that's something that I really want to have and something that Amber Vinsbox talked about was she's like, there's no restaurants where we live. And she was like living in Dallas, we always were Uber eating everything or DASH and. everything because we were so busy. We didn't have time to even go to the grocery store or to cook.

And she's like, where we live, there are no restaurants. So I have to cook for my kids every night. Like I have to spend time and go to the grocery store and think ahead and plan time with my kids. And like, I mean. Who's just ballerini farms? Ugh. Oh, she's too extreme for me. Oh, my God. No, she's like literally out there like milk in the cows. Like, please don't. Also, like, her dad like owns the airline.

Okay. But I bet she was going through the same thing. No. Or else she just had the best brand positioning of anyone else on the internet. Because I am hooked on this girl. Are you really? I just got into it. I'm like,

this girl's got seven kids and she's milking cows and making her own ice cream. That's too much for me. I can't. I can't. Let's not. I'm still going to be by my. I wouldn't mind having some chickens, but I have heard they kind of stank a little bit.

Okay. That's fine. But fresh eggs would be nice. We don't have to do that. But like, I don't know. Is this, my question for you is like,

Is this a product of us just getting older? Like do all people like moving into their 30s start to feel this at a certain point? Because remember when we were deciding between city and suburbs? And remember what everyone said to you in your DMs? They were like, they were like, oh, you'll choose the city now, but we'll see you in the suburbs in like five or ten years. And I was like, yeah, right. And I was like, yeah, right. See ya.

Losers. Like, and now we're kind of like, okay, wait. Like Rockwall seems kind of great or like Nashville seems kind of great or this suburb in Nashville. You know why? Because with age, you gain wisdom. And with wisdom, you begin to de-implounce ambition like Jason Kelsey. Yep. And Shaq. And Shaq. And you realize as you get older that all these things and the busyness and the hustle and the accomplishments and the money or whatever cannot buy true joy and happiness. But unfortunately, you have to go through it to learn that. Because everyone's always going to tell you that. but you have to go through it and you have to hustle and be in that the busy culture and like figure out that man it's really exhausting and really all I want to do is eating an ice cream cone with my kid on the

sidewalk we always go back to these ice cream cones the kids let me ask you something if you if you had to make this decision tomorrow and you were like okay I am officially breaking up with ambition what would that life look like where would we be what would a Tuesday afternoon look like see I'll never break up with ambition because like what would happen is I would move to west Texas and then I would start a book club okay and then this book club I would have to be like well dang we got to get friends you're going to cynthia book club come to mine exactly so what would happen is I would figure out the ways to market my book club and maybe it wouldn't be instagram because maybe people won't be on instagram out there so what I'd have to do is I would go into town and I'd probably have to put out flyers join danny's

book club. And see, my new goal in life would be to have the most bad ass book club in town. And so the thing with me is, it will never stop. It's just like, what am I striving for? Like, is it, is it for, is it actually healthy or is it something good or is something silly that is really just going to leave me empty? I think book club would be great, though. Yeah. Because readers are we in West Texas? You know, Beyonce has a house out there now. Yeah, she does. I'm thinking maybe we start small. We start with Nashville because then you still get the city you still get all the other bloggers and influencers out there the only thing is is like we just convinced a lot of people in Dallas to move to Dallas to work for Debbie so I always think about

that too yeah yeah well this is not a tomorrow thing like when we move to Nashville you guys will know that we're entering into a a new chapter in life yeah anyway what but honestly I can't leave I want to know this like what would a Tuesday look like like what's like what are the things you do not get to do now that you wish that you had the space to do? You know, it's funny. I would say build traditions. Yeah. Like, you're on the tradition train.

But like small ones. Like I'm not doing it. Nothing crazy. Come on. Come on. Give me some. Stop it. You're embarrassing me.

It's embarrassing. You're embarrassing me. Like, like game nights, like every Friday. Right. Maybe join like a bowling league. Cook? Cooking is questionable. Those casadillas.

I miss those casadias. Yeah, okay, like maybe. Okay, maybe. Maybe cooking, but like I'd much other join like a bowling, you know, bowling league, a book club. Bowling league? Yeah, I love bowling. I hate bowling. Okay.

It's so fun. Okay. You know, little things like that. Things where I could still be competitive. Yes. Start playing tennis more, reading more. Yes. Home school our kids.

Get my kids like on all the sports teams. Get the practicing. He would really follow it. He would be like cheer mom. Yeah, see, I would put my ambition with my children. It would be a bad. Oh my gosh. It might not be healthy.

That's what tornado did. I'd be like, still get out there and kick that ball. You're a winner. That's what tornado did. I know. Yeah. That's crazy. Today's episode is brought to you by Dreamland Baby Co.

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role in motivating behavior. It gets released when we take a bite of delicious food when we have sex, after we exercise, and importantly, when we have successful social interactions, aka when you get those likes. It's not necessarily the smartphone themselves that are causing the short-term dopamine cycles that are negatively impacting our mental health, but social media apps that we use on our smartphones. This is so scary because it's so true. According to an article from Harvard University, cognitive neuroscientists have shown that rewarding social stimuli, laughing faces, positive recognition by our peers, messages from loved ones, activate the same dopaminergeric. Dopaminergic.

That's good. Dopaminergic. Good job, babe. Reward pathways. Smart. What a weird word. Dopaminergic. Smart bones have provided.

us with a virtually unlimited supply of social stimuli, both positive and negative. Every notification, whether it's a text message, a like on Instagram, or a Facebook notification, has the potential to be a positive social stimulus and a dopamine influx. The average person spends about two and a half hours a day on social media. Oh, think about me because I'm not an average person, which adds up to about 864 hours a year, meaning in one year, the average person spends around 36 days on social media over a month. That's over a month. Studies have compared the rush.

Studies have compared the rush of dopamine you get from checking social apps or texts to playing slot machines. I hate slot machines. Meaning when the short term dopamine is rewarded in a positive outcome, it only continues to enforce a habit, like checking your phone. However, the dark side of this is that it's a time. short-lived, meaning we're checking our phones more and more, which is creating a greater opportunity for negative reward instead of positive. And you have to think about it. Think about humans thrive in social settings of about 150 people, but your phone could continue millions of connections and interactions just from one swipe through social media.

See, I feel like this is also why it's so stressful these days to live your life because you're connected to so many more people, which puts more expectations on you. So it's like, you can't be like, oh, I didn't get the invite. because you're like, no, the invite was blasted to you in seven different ways. They DMed it to you, they texted to you, they followed up with you. Like back in the day, whenever I was,

whenever I was being invited to birthday parties, you got a single piece, like back my day, you got a single piece of paper mailed to you in the mail. There were times like I didn't get the invite to the birthday party like because it was lost in the mail. And then I'd be like so upset on Monday when I went to school and like everybody went to Carly's birthday party. And then I'd have to be like,

she'd be like, no, my mom mailed it to you. You must have just not caught in it. Like nowadays, It's like, no, like everybody knows about it 100% because it's blasted everywhere. That's so stressful. I have a question for you. When was the last time you were bored? Yesterday on the beach.

Oh, really? That's why I started reading. Nobody told you. So you picked up the stimuli. That's a good stimuli, though. Yeah. It's so funny because, like, I read this book called Dopamine Nation, and it talks a lot about this, about how, like, we can constantly grab something at all times, like, whenever we have

this, like, slight inch of bored. And no one's bored anymore. But like creativity comes from boredom. Like do you remember, like I remember when I was growing up, I would be so bored. I would be like, I'd be like, it was Sunday afternoon. I'd be like, I want to die. I'm so bored. Like one time I went and grabbed the water hose and I just tried to spray the whole driveway

to get it wet before the other side dried. And I played that game for two hours. I used to do stuff like that. You know what I used to do? I used to go out at no last. and rake the leaves and put them in a huge pile and then jump on them and then spread them all out again and then break them back into a pile and jump into them like I was so bored. Right.

Bortem is like so important in some ways to like the development of the brain and it's where creativity is like discovered. But like these kids, this book talks about how these like our kids and us even like I can't remember the last time I was bored because if I'm bored like every day like every minute of my day is structured to some capacity. And that's part of my personality. But like even when I have the moments to be bored, I just put on a podcast. Put on a podcast.

It kind of tries me not sometimes. How you do that. How I can never be bored. No, how you always have a podcast. And like even on whenever you're cleaning Sunday morning with the kids, Sunday morning, making them breakfast, you have a podcast in. And I'm like, I figured this was coming at some point because I saw the looks. And I was like, I'm just going to let her say something until I stopped doing this.

Well, you always have your headphones in. Yeah. 24. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Anyway. No, it's true. I'm actually, you know what? I am acknowledging this is a problem and I am going to lean into this being a problem because I'm never bored anymore. And you know where it's like affected me the most is probably my spiritual life because it's like I don't feel like I have any room to even like try and understand or comprehend like what the Lord is speaking into my heart or like what. I'm being told or like even how to navigate some of the, you know, like a spirit led, you know, intuitions and stuff. And so I really wanted to kind of like learn about dopamine more for this reason because I was like I don't ever feel like I can hear even my own thoughts.

So like on the beach, I was actually not listening to podcasts. I just like tried. I was surprised. I looked at you and I was looking for the white pods. No. Well, I had them in. But even when I had them in, I was like listening to music again. and like old like folk music.

Because you know when you listen to music, that's whenever like you hear a lyric or something and it spurs an ideal or a feeling or something. It's like leaving room for me not to just rush to that like addictive stimuli of like scrolling social media or like trying to look at this metric or you know, opening up Shopify and seeing how Divi's doing. It's like.

I will say it's like sometimes I feel like when I listen to other people that I aspire to be like, whether it's a podcast or even like sometimes when I talk to you, when I do my makeup in the morning, sometimes, it's like a very therapeutic time for me because I like to be left alone. I like to, I find myself a lot of times just doing it in like just silence. And I sometimes feel guilty because I'm like, I should be listening to a podcast to like better myself or I should be, you know, watching a show so I'm up to date with what's going on so that I can talk about the podcast. Or I should be watching other people. stories to know what's going on in the influencer world. But sometimes I just am like I, because my

thoughts, whenever I am, when I do silence myself, same thing. I feel very connected to the Lord. I feel like I'm so creative. That's where I have all of my ideas. That's why I honestly haven't been running lately. But like when I do run, a lot of times I won't even run with music because I'll just like, or if I run with music, it's like idea after idea. And I come back and I have these like revelations and I'm like, oh my gosh. And I always felt like God spoke to me the most like during my runs or my exercise time, like just being quiet. But that's the biggest thing that this book that I've been reading, the elimination of the Ruthless elimination of hurry is basically all about that.

It's like on sabbathing or like just being quiet and being still and like allowing time for God to speak to you and like allowing time to do things that glorify God that are not like being busy. Yeah. Like whether it is listening to music or going on a walk. and like just being still. Do you ever feel like I, this is a good question.

Do you ever feel like I persuade you to be busy because like I'm so busy? I wouldn't say persuade me. And I'm so like trying to improve all the time that do you feel like that makes you feel guilty if you're not doing the same? 100%.

Living with a one can be very challenging. It can make you feel like a lazy piece of crap. Yeah. Like 100%. I've noticed that like sometimes like on a Saturday, Which is so funny because where I'm at is like I want to be improving because it makes me happy. But like I actually want you to be in whatever state you want to be in. Like that makes me happy too.

I know. But then sometimes I feel like such a lazy bum. I know because you're a three. And so then that spurs you on. You're like, well, I'm going to beat him. No, it's not competitive at all. I honestly just feel guilty. Like I feel like I'm like, oh, he's listening to a podcast while, you know, making the kids breakfast while also, you know,

because he's listening to some podcast that he's going to make him smarter. And he's on a walking pad and he's counting his steps and he's logging his calories and he's doing all these things. And I'm like, I'm just sitting here. And you've already taken a shower. You have shoes on. You've already done your workout. And I'm sitting here like in my pajamas,

haven't brushed my teeth yet. And I'm like, oh, shoot. Like maybe I need to be listening to a podcast and be showered and be ready to go. Like, you know, you just feel like a slob. I know.

And I don't think that that's like right because like I still think that that's all connected to this like dopamine mean rush I get because my dopamine rush is like from a constant state of improvement, right? It's like, and whatever, and whatever, whatever capacity that looks like, sometimes it's like a divvy improvement. Sometimes it's a fitness. Like, it's just like that's what I think makes me happy, but it's not. It's really just like this, I'm like caught in this this giant distraction reel, oh, wheel, you know, over and over again. And so it's like, that's not a culture that I would definitely want to like set for our family at all. And it's, so funny is like it's not social media for me like I know that we work in that industry but I don't

really like consume it like I mine's more like getting information hits and dopamine from like Twitter and stuff is your social media my dopamine hits yeah it's achievements 100% I know but you scroll a lot like so you but do you feel like you think I'm scrolling I rarely you're studying okay I'm studying or I like last night when I got into my I am not looking at other people's stuff I am looking at my own analytics. Yeah. Like my own. Yeah, like I'm, I'm looking to see, okay, did that one to perform well? Did that sell? Did people like this? What do they want more of? Like, I'm constantly like trying to reassess like where I'm at. And like honestly, I would say my biggest thing is like probably more so like comparison. Yeah. That I struggle with right now. It's weird. It's like what I have struggled to reconcile is like how do we reconcile like our jobs being to create content that is

and grabs people's attention. And ideally, like a wholesome, like, values driven way, you know, albeit, but like, how do you reconcile that being our job, but also, like, understanding that there's a dark side to it, too. But that's like anything. I think that that's how I've reconciled in my mind. It's like, you can do that with literally anything. It doesn't mean that we quit social media or anything like that.

But I don't know. So how do you reconcile that? I don't know. Okay. So some healthy tips for social media consumption. I actually have a couple of my girlfriends set timers. You can actually set a timer, I think, on your phone with Apple. I know, you can, like, tell the app, like, I can't open it between this time and this.

I was actually going to try that. Yeah. And you can do the gray scale thing. Have you seen that? Oh, yeah. It makes it less interesting. It makes it basically black and white. And, like, the colors are so vibrant that it, like, stimulates our dopamine.

I actually really love when my friends just delete the apps. Like, my, like, Allison will be like, hey, sorry, I don't know what's going on your light. Like, she'll text me, like, what are you doing? And I'm like, dude, I'm in my hand. me. And she's like, oh, sorry, I deleted the app. I don't even have it. It's so refreshing. And I'm like, I feel like people always scared to tell me that because they know my job is on Instagram. I'm like, no, like, good for you. Yeah. That's so great. That's what I say to. I'm like, oh, you're probably happier. Yeah, you're probably happier. You're probably very healthy, good for you.

The biggest thing that people always say is don't go on your phone first thing in the morning. So Jordan sleeps with his phone outside of the bedroom. So he has to get up. He has to get showered, get ready for the day. That probably helps a lot, right? Yeah. You're not like... I did try and get like two phones. Like I tried to have a personal phone and a work phone.

And honestly, you did too. But now we just have two phones. Now we're just double busy. No, we just have four phones. Do you think that like in the next like, say two to five years, people will go back to having dumb phones, like flip phones? That would be so fun. I could totally see that being like it's kind of like your idea.

Like you wanted to start. Don't tell people. Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't think anyone's going to jump on. this idea. I think it's so genius. Babe, it's literally, okay, just say it. I want to start a newspaper. And like, so Danny thinks this is this genius genius idea. Newspapers are literally dying every day. And she's like, I'm going to start a newspaper. Don't tell people because they'll steal the idea. And meanwhile, like the New York Times is like, please take us over because we have no money.

Listen, it's, it would be a newspaper that is created for millennials. It'd be very girly and fun and written by like another female millennial that just updates us with the daily news so we don't have to get on our phones because we're all also reading the news from like Instagram or finding out about things from TikTok. So it's almost like if you are off of social media, like you don't know what's going on in the world. I still want to be updated with the news. But like I wanted to be in a really cute form of a cute newspaper. I think it's a great idea in theory. My question is like will people actually do it. Well, I don't know. I'd have to get like a paper boy to deliver them too every morning. Like, who's going to do that?

Who's going to be paid to do that? It's like straight down the... Like on a bicycle. You know how I'd recruit them? I'd recruit Amazon delivery boys. Oh, yeah, because, you know, I think they're paid pretty well. That's my issue.

Yeah, we'll figure out the economics later, but like, Danny's changing the world by starting another newspaper business. It has been a crazy week. We are actually headed to San Antonio this weekend. So if you live in the Texas, or San Antonio Austin area. We'd love to see you.

We're going to be at the Spring Fest in the historic market where my family owns a bunch of the gift shops and we are celebrating with Divi. Divi will have a pop up there. At 2 o'clock. 2 to 4 o'clock. We will be there. Thank you guys for listening to today's episode of DeInfluence

and thanks for putting up with us so disheveled and last minute from our trip to Miami. We love you guys and we'll talk to all later. Bye.