De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan - Different Parenting Approaches, Same Underwear (for 10 years)

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

Happy Wednesday De-Influencers, Everyday our husbands shock us more and more... This week we're talking about how men barely EVER buy new underwear?? No one knows why and yet it seems to be a common thing for men to buy underwear once a decade?? We're concerned. Besides that, we're talking parenting approaches for different kids, challenges and balancing two (soon to be three) babies. Plus, Jordan's telling us his horror stories from NYC and we're doing a deep dive on what's going on in the Mega Church community. As always, checkout our socials ⁠@deinfluencedpodcast⁠ on Instagram and TikTok, maybe you share our clips and content with family or friends who may not know about us… That’d be pretty cool. Plus, De-Influenced has partnered with some awesome brands to give you discounts on some of our FAVORITE products. Go to DrinkLMNT.com/Deinfluenced And if you’re an LMNT INSIDER, you have first access to LMNT Sparkling — a bold, 16-ounce can of sparkling electrolyte water. Visit COZYEARTH.com to enjoy 30% off or use code [AUSTIN] at checkout. And after placing your order, select “podcast” in the survey and then select “[DEINFLUENCE]” in the dropdown menu that follows. Head over to dreamlandbabyco.com and enter code DANI at checkout to receive 20% off sitewide + free shipping. This offer is for new and existing customers. XOXO

Hello and welcome back to your favorite podcast, D-implienced. Hi, babe. How are you? Do I look nice? You look so handsome as always. Can I just say something really fast because I know you're about to say something? I'm so happy about this week because this is one of those weeks where I really love you. Oh, really?

I genuinely felt the opposite. No, I like, like, yeah. Really? Yeah, I felt that way last week. Well, I was gone. Oh, that's right. That's why. Yeah, no, I know.

Honestly, like, all of the guys who came with me on this trip, I asked them, I've only asked two of them, but I was like, how did your wives respond when you came home? Yeah. And most of them, 90% of them, were like, honestly, it was great. It was the best. Like, she kind of told me to do it more often. To leave? Yeah, because, I mean, in everything that we do, we're always so close to you guys that I feel like it was a sense of independence and autonomy coming back. It was so nice to just like feel that independence too.

Yeah. And to not know what you were doing every day. Like there was so much to look forward to. Yeah. And it was just great. Like we should do this more often. Except I would call you a lot, but I just assumed you were asleep. I was.

Yeah. I was sleeping. My Bongesta, you know, the Unisem plus B6 complex. That thing I'll just knock you right out. It's like, what's the purpose of really just, okay, this is my idea. Yes. And you have to admit. Don't share this idea.

This idea is too good. You think? Yeah. I thought about it a lot since you said it. Oh my. No, not that idea. Oh, okay. A different one.

I know. That one's genius. I'm not telling anybody that one. You're kidding me. But it's okay. I'm going to change the world with that idea. It's up here in the noggin. I know, I know.

I've already made a few phone calls. Okay. Have you really? No, but I've thought about it. It's so genius. I got to get some other things. Okay. Okay.

Second genius idea. Or just idea in general. is that so you know like after the like great depression 20s 30s 40s men are men are like back out working again if you know they're out of the house they're starting they're taking control what you just went great depression men are out working again okay sorry I was just thinking about like when America was like finally getting it's footing yes and like men Men are out of the house, like women are back in in the home. Yes.

And they're making babies. Okay. They're populating again because everything is like healthy. Why are you laughing? Just keep going. None of these things are true, but it's okay. Wait, what is that not true? Like I'm pretty sure fertility rates are like down significantly.

Okay, but I'm talking about like the 60s 70s 80s. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I don't know what decade we're on. Okay. No, no. But like in the time, okay, I'm not making any sense. No, no, you are.

You are. Okay. Great depression. Great depression, people get back to work, men are out of the house, people are making babies. I'm just saying this is such a roundabout way to have this idea. Come on, that's great. This is just so ridiculous. Someone's going to take it and run with it.

Okay. No, it's not an idea for the future. So, if men were pregnant at those times instead of women, there would have been rehab centers created for men. And their first trimesters. I see. Because it would have been like an establishment. Like it would have been like a thing that like culturally like we all do. Yes.

But because women are the ones that are pregnant. Like we weren't out there building as much. Yeah. Like you know what I mean? You were at home just suffering through your first trimesters. So my idea is a rehab center for pregnant people. Okay. During their first trimester.

Okay. Because honestly you should have just sent me off. I think you wanted me to send you off. I was like, can we, I was like, can we make up something? Can you just send me somewhere? Yeah. Okay, what would you do with these? Like, what's the difference between this?

You would just be like catered and pampered and taken care of and make sure you get your vitamins in and like all the things that we need as like prenatal woman. Okay. So like a hotel. Yeah, but like a rehab center because it's like you're rehabilitating. From your first trimester. Yeah. Or like, you know, they can like help you with your diet, help you with your nutrition, help you with your exercise, like getting you ready for your second and third trimester.

You have to admit if men were pregnant, they would already have these things. Yeah, no, I do agree with you. You have to admit that. Or there would be like you get off work your whole entire pregnancy like with pay. Oh, now that's a really good idea, Danny. So like a pre-pregnancy leave. Yeah, 100% your first trimester leave. Wow.

Because I'm telling you, like, the more I've talked to more, like, females, like, I, and there's been two or three of my friends that are bloggers that are pregnant at the same time as me. And, like, I was texting her. And she was, like, 10 weeks. I was, like, eight weeks. And I was like, girl, how are you doing, like, your brand deals? Like, how are you working?

She's like, she sent me a screenshot that she sent to her management and was, like, it was, like, paragraphs long. And she was apologizing because she was missing every single due date. Like, she wasn't able to get on camera. She was so sick. She was taking care of two or three other kids. It's, haven't this, a rehab center we can bring your kids too. Yeah, yeah.

No, that's crazy. I like your idea more of normalizing pre-pregnancy first trimester leave. Yeah. That seems good. Before we move on to things that make you go, hmm, today's episode is brought to you by Dreamland Baby. You all know we swear by Dreamland Baby when it comes to sleep sacks and swaddles for our kids and we're so excited to use them for baby number three. Their weighted sleep swaddle and weighted sleep sack works just like an adult's weighted blanket and helps take your kids' anxiety down.

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Which means like, they're going to be out picket signs outside of our house. Like we won't have anybody working. Pre-pregnancy leave. Pre-pregnancy leave. Because we're all. Oh, no, that was a problem, uh, 20-22. Yeah, all of our team got pregnant and we're like, bye. Um, yeah.

So anyway, I just, I just know for a fact that if men were the pregnant ones, there would be more resources. Yeah, like they, like a gentleman's club, but for their first trimesters. Yeah. Yeah. And like more like not like, I don't know, wisdom, knowledge. around medication you can take and nausea, all this stuff. Like, it was really hard.

You know, it's so funny is I came back from New York. And this is how I know Danny's feeling better. So I come back from New York. And on Saturday, I hear her filming an Instagram story. And she's like, hey, guys, like, I haven't done a lot of Amazon shopping lately. But I just got, like, a new huge order in. And I, like, look at the order. And it's, like, seven boxes deep.

And I was like, she's back. She's back. And then also, the other reason I know you're back is because, the entirety of her first trimester, she was saying, I can't do four. I can't do four. I'll never get pregnant again. Don't ever let me do this. Jordan, seriously, don't let me do this. And then I come home and she's like, you know what? Like four makes sense. We should do four. Well, it's because, yeah, out of sight, out of mind. But it's because the Bonjesta. I know. When you're suffering, it's really hard to see the other side. I know, but wouldn't it be so sad to not have a fourth child just

because you are in like severely struggling for six weeks. I mean, I've literally said that to you for the past six weeks. But the hard thing about six weeks is like, it's not the blink of an eye like actually when you're going through it. It's a long time. Is it six weeks or 12 weeks? Um,

oh I guess. No, you're right. Yeah, the symptoms start. It was about six or seven weeks of suffering. Yeah. But like it's like only six or seven weeks,

but it's like, man, that is a long time. Yeah. It's honestly. kind of like hard for me to get used to your energy again because like I got in this routine of like okay Danny's gonna be sleepy she's a little on the sadder side it's okay yeah and now you're like you're so fire that no I even when you said this is a week where I love you I was like oh yeah okay

it's not that you didn't you were just you no I'm just having one of those weeks where it's like yeah it's just like love you it's like it's great I mean you're really something wow This is such a win. You're just really something. I mean. It's in the podcast. He's lost 20 pounds. Wow.

He looks pretty fire without his shirt on. This is, keep it coming. He has been learning so much. Like you're always learning and reading, which you always know. I find that so attractive. Oh, I've been doing that for years though. I know, but it's really picked up lately.

Has it? Yeah. Huh. I feel like it's gone down. Yeah. So I always find that so attractive. Your hair's been looking great. hair cut every three weeks now i like the fact that like you leave me alone whenever you know that you know

you're not too like clingy clingy i know i'm doing that with stella yes i see you dream that with i know it's like i took all that energy that i used to be clingy with you and i'm pouring it on her and she's like daddy i do not want a hug right now and i'm like just one stella and i are the same person y'all are the same person it's crazy it's crazy and strad and i are the same person i know we're big cobbler's so true cell and i will like sit next to each other and like cuddle and watch a movie but like we won't touch, but we'll be like an inch away from each other. Yeah. It's like it means everything to us.

Wow. Should we talk about our last weeks? Because I feel like we haven't really got a chance to catch up. Yeah. What did you do last week? I would love to tell you about my trip, but. I gagged a lot. Mm-hmm.

You had an ice cream event? I did. Divi had an ice cream event. The Bungessio was kicking that day. It was a lot of fun. It was like, I have the coolest story. We, it was, you know, whenever you announce an event that you're going to have to the public, the day of you have the event, it's like, are people really going to show up? You know, I posted at noon that we were going to have a five to seven o'clock ice cream social.

But it was really special to see that people actually did come. And the crazy story is our second spot was outside of Ulta. And so, you know, Divi sold it all old. us. So the line, I don't know how many people were there, but it was a good amount. So we're going through the line. I get to meet everyone. All the conversations are like so sweet. A lot of people brought their moms, which was like really special. And then this sweet blonde lady comes up and she's like, she looks at Tornado. She's like, oh, are you the owner of Divi? She's like, I have to tell you something. And my mom's like, no, no, no, this is the owner of Divi, Danny and her husband.

And she was like, and she had, she was holding a little Divi bag. Or sorry, I an Ultabag, and you could tell that there was like a box of Divi inside. And she was like, I don't know who you are, but can I come give you a hug? Like, you have changed my dad's life. And I'm like, oh my gosh, like, tell me more. And she said that her dad was going through chemo, has lost all of his hair. The chemo has also like really caused like a lot of dryness and store spots on his scalp. And Divi is the only thing that is soothing to him. And it's like his favorite part of his routine every day because it feels so good. And it's made like the biggest difference with his scalp and just his comfort levels. And she started crying as she was telling me.

She was with her son as well. And she was like, I don't know who you are, but like I just want to say thank you so much for creating this product. And, you know, I went out and I hugged her and I'm like, well, wait a minute. How did you know about this event? You know, because our bus was actually kind of hidden. It wasn't right outside of Ulta because we actually weren't allowed to park there because of like the height requirements. So we were kind of hidden in the shop. And she was like, oh, I was upstairs at Ulta buying my dad's another bottle. And the lady at checkout said, oh, you know, Divi's here serving free ice cream. You should go downstairs.

So she just came downstairs and I happened to meet her. That's crazy. Isn't that crazy? So she had no idea who we were, who the founders were. She goes, I don't even know what your story is. but she's like, it's just the timing was crazy. How did her dad find out about Divi? So there is like a hospital here in Dallas that like all the doctors,

when all the, any cancer patient is going through chemo, they recommend Divi to all of their patients. That's great. That's the craziest part. Yeah. That's the craziest part to me. Because Diddy is like truly whenever you are going through chemo or anything that's

really like, I mean, any medical illness, you really shouldn't be using a lot of these ingredients that are super harmful for your hormones and the processes of your body and like we don't have any of that stuff and so it's something that you can use we have like a lot of natural ingredients that are doing the same job and so so doctors love it hi stella she's probably mad she was coming um yeah that's crazy you know it's it's crazy i was in new york last week yeah and um do you so i invited my friends

to new york i called it an integrated work week because i don't know i was going to be there for a week and come with me and I get really sad in hotel rooms by myself. Yeah, they say men shouldn't travel alone. No, I know that. And I'm glad that you said that because I was going to bring it up, but I was like, is that weird? Like, is that a weird statement? But like, I remember, I think a lot of like pastors don't travel alone in hotel rooms. Can I ask you what men do in the alone and a hotel room? Honestly, like. Just be honest. Like, I'm just curious. Like, you don't just say that you do it. But like, what do, what is like the stereotypical thing that a male does in a hotel room alone? To be completely honest, I feel like there's a lot of like temptations for pornography in hotels

in hotel rooms because the hotels typically offer it. I think that there's just something about... Is not like embarrassing whenever you're checking out though? I don't know. I truly have never indulge, but I think that like, but it doesn't have to be like in the hotel, like through the hotel, but like people can have their computers too. They're alone, I assume. I think that like when men are separated from their like families and their purpose and that's like their routine and like their like lifestyle. I don't hands are the devil's workshop. Like I just think it gets really dark.

And so I was like really worried about being there for a week because like I can do like a couple days but I get really lonely and kind of like isolated. Tell people who you invited. So I invited five of my friends and I texted them. I said, hey, you know, would you guys want to come and like all get a bigger place? I was going to buy a hotel room anyway. So I was like, I'll just get a big Airbnb, just buy your flights, and y'all can come work out of New York,

and then we'll go out at night. And so I invited Devin, Janelle's husband, Miles, Ali's husband, and Caleb. Oh, Connor Combs, and then Caleb. Yeah. And it was the best two days of our lives. I mean, we only had two nights there together, but we lived it up.

Yeah. I mean, we probably got home at two in the morning, like every single night. And I had like, we all had meetings the next day. Yeah. But that city is crazy. It never goes to sleep. I know.

And so we went to the comedy seller, which is like the famous comedy bar. And that was like, you remember Adam Glenn, our paparazzi friend? Yeah. So Danny and I have this paparazzi friend named Adam Glenn. And every time in New York, I text him. And he's always hooking us up with the most fun things. Because he knows what's going on. He knows what's going on.

He knows every doorman. He was like, oh, these are my crew. This is my friends. And so all of my friends were. We met him through Tony Robbins. Through Tony Robbins. Yeah, they kept asking me, how do you know this paparazzi guy? I was like he invited us to Tony Robbins.

Well, he used to be like Tony Robbins like left. No. He was like running PR, I think. Oh, for Tony Robbins. Like he was the one who's responsible for like getting all the celebrities or influencers there. But anyway, for half the night, my friends, and I don't blame them, we're like, this guy's full of crap, Adam Glenn.

Oh, no, he's not. Because he name drops and he's like, oh, yeah, my buddy's the chain smokers. And oh, I met Oprah last week. And I was with Carter McGregor. No, he really does. And it wasn't until he started pulling out pictures and showing that, like, it was actually legit. And it wasn't until he got us into this, like, sold out comedy show, got five of us into

this comedy show that they were like, Adam Glenn is the man. Did you see Judd Apataw? Yeah. So we took a picture with Jed Apatow. I'm going to say this publicly, not great to stand up. Was not funny. No. I love him, though.

I love his movies. Yeah, his movies are funny. But he kind of tried to tell, like, 50 plus Joe. to like a younger audience. And so it was very unrelatable. And guess who else was there that night? That night. Yeah.

Ben Stiller. What? It's in the back of the room. Do you see him? No. You didn't see him? No. But how do you know?

Because everyone was talking about it as we left. He was like in the back back. Man, I love Ben Stiller. But we had a great time. We saw Hades Town, which is still in my number one. Really? Yeah. We're going to go see Wicked.

I know. That might trump Hades Town. I know. But you know, the craziest thing. about New York, and this is something that we all felt, is it's so dark. Like, so two things happened to me. Let me tell you this. One time we were walking down the street and this homeless lady grabbed my arm very tight,

very tight. Like it left marks. And she said, please, sir, don't drink my blood. And I was like, that's weird. But this is just New York. It's fine. And then another time we were walking down the street, this was the next day. Maybe because she thought you looked like a vampire.

Maybe, but explain this. So then the next day, we're walking down the street, this homeless man walks out of the subway, throws a Coke can, hits me in the leg, and then it starts spilling everywhere. And I'm like, ow. And I was kind of like mad. And then we all looked down and it was this pee. Oh, my God. He had peed in a Coke can and thrown it at my leg.

And so, like, by that time, and I was already kind of feeling this, like, sort of darkness, because, you know, they joked about this at the comedy seller. People in New York are generally, they don't seem like the happiest people. Like, they seem kind of, like, unhappy. They're kind of mean and rude. And so all of us were, like, Texans, like, wow, the big apple. And, like, they just seemed really down on us. And then after the Coke can hit my leg, I was like, this is, this is spiritual warfare.

Spiritual warfare. No, Caleb thought so too. He was like, this feels spiritual. Why? I don't know. I also think it's because everything else going on our life that is like really hard and I was like really burdened by that. And then homeless people are throwing coke cans and telling them not to drink their blood.

So I was like, I feel attacked right now. I need prayer. Yeah. No, it can be a very dark place. Yeah. But I'm glad that you went with your guys. Yeah, it was really fun. And I bet it was really good for the guys too because there, a lot of them are like new dads.

And like it's nice for them to take like one or two days. Yeah. I think when you're a dad, it's like one to two day trips are like perfect. Yeah. Because we, I mean, I had to be there for a week, but they all missed their kids like by the second day. Well, and then you went for divvy meetings? Yeah. Pretty.

I don't, I don't think I can talk about it yet. But like, yes, a lot of outside people were looking at divvy. And I was supposed to go. but there was just no way. It felt not every meeting people were expecting you, but I definitely knew the ones where they were. What did you tell them? I told them you were in your first trimester.

And a lot of the times they would go through the whole meeting and then be like, by the way, I love your family. And I'd be like, why didn't you tell me anything? Yeah, it's like so much. I would have been able to kind of skip a lot of points. Yeah. And so, yeah, it was not as hard as when you set me up at UT to speak for you. That was hard.

Our yin and yang would have been amazing. Yeah. Okay. It's okay. Well, we're going back to New York for like a press brunch, PR brunch for Divi. And then I have an interview for Women's Wear Daily, which will be really fun. And so we'll have a time to redeem ourselves. Can I show you one thing I did discover in New York?

Yes. Have you ever heard of Central C? No. Have you ever heard of UK drill rap? No. Oh my gosh. It's a whole genre that you've been sleeping on. Can I show you?

Is this like K-pop? No, it's so much better. Let me just play a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a taste. It's a central C. He's huge in the UK. What is this like?

Oh, this guy? I listen to this so many times. on the street. I know the song. This is the most popular one. I work out to this song. Man, I love you. But one thing you don't have a of his swag.

No, I know. But this, when I put in my headphones and I'm walking down to the street in New York, it's like I know how I look in real life to other people. But in my head, in my head, I am Central C. It's kind of like when you're skiing with music. Yes. Which is not good. People should not do that.

Yes. Exactly. So you listen to UK journalism. rap. I've listened to that song specifically. Oh, there's a whole playlist in Spotify you should get into. I bet. I bet. No, I've been more into sad songs lately. I noticed that. Yeah. On the way to the Rangers game, you like put on like some folk music and I was like, is she okay? I was like, Danny. I was like the family needs some energy. We do not need this. Oh my gosh. I was going to die on the way to the Rangers game. Like my mom did not stop talking for the whole hour ride. But like I was trying so hard to, because like I know that like she wasn't doing anything wrong. Like I was just annoyed. Like I was

hormonal like yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was just me like I was the problem not my mom. But like I wanted to pull my hair out but like so the whole time I didn't say anything. I'm like, but also was kind of still feeling nauseous remember? And so on the way home I was like okay I get to put out and I just like blasted sad music. It's just it's I've been in my feels. That's good. The depression from the perinatal impression is like so lingering. Yeah. Which talk about spiritual warfare. It makes a lot of sense, I think, for like that to happen during the time that you

are like literally growing like a miracle in your stomach because like that takes away all of your joy pretty much. Yeah. And it's like that that should that would be the time that Satan would attack. You know what I mean? I do want to ask this. Like to be clear, you do feel like. you were being attacked while I was gone?

While you were gone? Yeah. Like just in general, do you feel like this season... Not while you were gone. Do you feel like this season, there's like a thickness of like both good and bad? Yes, but it's so like physical for me. Yeah, yours is physical.

Mine's more emotional, mental. Yeah, no, mine's not emotional and mental. Because like, for example, nothing changed for me mentally or emotionally on Sunday. the only thing that changed was my physical well-being. And then physically, because I felt better physically, I felt like I was able to feel better mentally and emotionally. But it doesn't, it's not like the other way around. Like this Sunday was the first time that like I've felt like I woke up and I felt good.

Like, you know, so I was like, I woke up like, I feel good. Let's go to church. Like I was so excited, you know, to get the day started. Typically, like when I wake up in the morning, I'm like, oh my God, like getting out of bed is going to be so hard for me. Like it's the hardest task is to get out of bed. And I don't, it's so, it's like a physical weight. Yeah. But there's no reason. I feel that way most of the time, except for it's like physical. I don't know. But yeah, I still think that like it is like spiritual, the fact that it's affecting me physically. But it's like whenever that's happening, I don't know a way to fix it because

it's not like I can get my mind in like a better place. I know. So I just have to force myself to get up and I have to force myself to just do things. And then I maybe start to feel better as I keep going. but it's very easy. Like if I didn't have two kids, like I would be in bed all day. Yeah. We need prayers. It's hard.

It's hard. Yeah. Like I, on top of those two homeless experiences, like, you know, so many good things are happening. Like I feel like we're exactly where like the Lord wants us to be.

But me personally, I'm like more anxious than ever. Like even when we sat down for this podcast, like my anxiety is probably like a seven right now. Oh no. Why? I'm so sorry. No, it's okay.

I'm burying it. Yeah. Seven layers deep. Yeah, I wouldn't know. But like, no. What are you most anxious about? Um, I don't know. I kind of just feel like this, this weird sense of.

Doom? Kind of. You're like, I know this well. No, like dark, like darkness. Like I. Oh, see, I don't feel that. And like weird, like I'm doing something wrong, but I'm not doing anything wrong. Real quick, before we move on, I want to know your gender prediction for this.

baby. I'm pretty sure it's going to be a girl. I'm pulling for a boy. I'm obviously happy with whatever, but I'm pulling for a boy. I think that two girls on top of Stella, I'm like, whof, okay. That's, we better brace for impact, whereas I feel like a boy will really like level things out. Yeah.

You know, like it'll level Stella out. Stratton will have a little bud. I am 50-50. I don't really care. except for the one upside to having a girl is I've noticed that girls stay in the family longer. That could be true. Boys tend to get married and then they're close to their wives' families. Yep.

Because typically the wife is really close with her mom or like it's just, you know, females are sometimes more like nurturing and, you know, keep a better relationship with their parents. Not always, but. And so, yeah, I feel like that would be nice to have. some more girls. And plus, I feel like girls take care of you when you're old. I mean, Stella's extremely nurturing. I mean, she's like, she's like a little mini mom to Stratton now.

No, she loves it. She really is, which was so sweet yesterday. She's like really into cuddling Stratton right now whenever he's scared or like, we were walking across the street at Parkhouse and like she was like, come on, Bubba, hold my hand. You must hold my hand because there are cars.

It is very dangerous. Hold my hand. She's so funny. It's very cute. And I mean, Are we still like just publicly on public record? Are we still not finding out the gender? I mean, I haven't asked for the test.

I mean, can I ask for the test? No, because you don't talk to the doctor. I'm a 50% stakeholder in this baby. Support for de-influence comes from Element. As you all know, I've been on the Stilgo Bus with my pregnancy nausea, which means staying hydrated is that much more important. Actually, fun fact, my doctor told me to put Element into my water because she said I was drinking so much water,

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I love cozy earth. I love our sponsors. It would be really good ones. Can I take my shoes off? Your shoes are very squeaky, but yes, you may. Okay, thank you. It's like, is that hot in here? Gosh, do you, do you own any of your own socks or did you steal mine?

No, I steal your short socks. My question is like, why don't you buy your own? I don't know. That's a very valid and realistic question. Also, like, if you weren't married to me, Actually, no, let me start from the beginning. Have you ever bought yourself new underwear? Like, when have you bought yourself new underwear?

I think one time. I bought Calvin Klein's from Nordstrom. Probably before you met me. I think it was, yeah, during our marriage. It was during our marriage? Yeah. It's when I transitioned from boxers to briefs, which I could be wrong about this,

but Lannon, I think, still needs to do that. Lannin still needs to do that. We're still working on it. He's still going to do that. he gets married, he will transition. I don't know. I mean, it's just, it's insane to me that he's still in boxers. But it's insane to me that you've been wearing the same underwear for like 10 years.

That's like pretty fair. I'm not going to like. Do you know, I just want to tell you like, I buy new underwear like probably every six months. Huh. I wear the ones like, I still wear the same underwear that I had from probably three years ago. As long as they are like really nice. Like the one thing my mom.

always told me was like you do not want to be the girl with gross underwear like that's like falling apart or like you know like looking ratty or pilling my mom was like that's so gross well so mine are black so i feel like it's really hard to see the wear and tear on them and well that's kind of gross you know right now in this moment i'm realizing that you're right like in this moment right now I would be so curious how often guys replace their underwear. You know who you should ask? I hate to keep putting them on the spot, Devin. Why?

I bet that guy buys new underwear every three months. Okay, so, but like, then why is he the guy to ask? Because I think that he's like the only one. But if I called Miles, he'd be like, bro, I haven't bought new underwear since college, which is fair. Honestly. Yeah, call him. Yeah, this is important enough. Oh, my gosh.

all I remember is like when I used to do the laundry as a kid my dad always wore waddy tides and I would have to yeah see that's that's the ultimate that's the worst that's the low low hey devon you're live on the podcast awesome hey devon how frequently do you replace your underwear or when's the last time you bought new underwear um probably about a year ago a year ago it's not bad so do you do you do it annually, would you say? No, no. It's like not a high priority to you, right? I don't know why it would be.

Right. If they're still working. If they're still working. That's such a dude. So how many pairs do you have on rotation? I'm honestly a bit concerned why I was the one chosen for you. Honestly, this speaks highly of your character. I bet that Miles and I rotated on a like every three year basis.

and I was like, I bet Devin rotates every three months. How many pairs do you have? It speaks to your hygiene, Devin. You know what? I appreciate that. I'll take that, but that's not the case. How many pairs do you have, Dwerden? I have like 15.

Okay. It's not bad. They are three years old. Yeah, for sure. No, they're 10 years old. His are 10 years old. No. This honestly speaks to the...

Are you Calvin Klein? No, I actually use Bill. Built. Interesting. Okay. Plug. Sponsored? Not sponsored.

Okay. Not yet. I'm going to call Miles and see what his rotation is. Okay, you might want to buy some new ones, though. Yeah, I know. Hey, you too. I realize that on this podcast. Okay, good job.

Okay, bye. Just for the sake of the content. No, Ali buys him Amazon. Are you kidding me? You probably have so many. I know, but the question is how often have you personally replaced your own underwear? Yeah, but I want to know, like, what brand Allie buys for him. that he likes from the Zon.

Yeah. Hey, you're live on the podcast. Again. Oh, boy, here we go. Okay. I'll take it off the speaker phone real quick. Oh, honestly, that was worse. Oh, all right.

Okay. Hey, quick question. Very serious question. Be honest. Okay. How often do you replace your underwear? How often do I replace my underwear? I couldn't say I replaced my underwear, but like,

I mean, they stay in rotation for four plus years. That's what I'm saying. Let me ask you this. How often do you think Devin replaces his underwear? I mean, do you think it's like on a twice a year once? Yeah, that's what I said. Okay. He said once a year, to be honest.

Does Allie have, like, what underwear do you wear? Yeah, what brand are you going with? So I have the Sacks underwear, which I cannot be a bigger fan of. They're great quality. So if you got good quality underwear, you don't have to worry about it. Do they have the fun prints on them? What's that? Do you have the ones with the avocados on them?

I don't have that print, but I do have some pretty wild prints. So is sorted. You know, I think the guy's situation is a bit different than the girls because we don't have designed wedgies. Yes. That makes a big difference. Plus our material is just better, in my opinion. How many do you have on rotation? Oh, a lot.

Yeah, same. So both socks and underwear, I'm a big fan of having a ton of. So, like, underwear, I probably have 15 pair. Yeah, that's like you. That's me. And then socks, if I thought it was allowed, I'd wear a new pair of socks every day. Nothing gets me more excited than I'm wearing a new pair of socks. Well, okay, go ahead and plug it.

What's your favorite sock, Rand? Okay, so I really don't have a, like a name brand that I use. I just kind of find the knockoffs on Amazon and let them go to work. And like I said, I'm not afraid to replace my socks. Those are something like, that's a bold move right there. They're out of here. Okay, thank you for your advice. You're so very welcome.

Bye, help, help. Bye, Miles. Okay, that's settled. That's settled then. Yeah. It's time. It's time for me. Honestly, the two males listening to this podcast, I'm telling you, it's hitting them. Yeah. They're going to go replace. They're filling it. Yes. And for all the

ladies out there, hinky pinkies, it's where it's at. The original rise, not the low rise. I hate those. What's wrong with the low rise? They're just really low and they're so uncomfortable. The original or like fit really well on your hips. And they're also hinky pinkies are like a one size fits all because the lace stretches so far that it's just like you don't feel. You don't feel. feel them on. They're the best. And I like, like I said, mine last forever. So anyway, man, I'm glad to cover that. Oh,

the socks. Yeah. Yeah. Moving on to things I make you go, hmm. Topic number one, different strokes for different folks or maybe different parenting for different children. So as any parent knows, once you start having multiple kids, every child is unique, different

and requires their own version of parenting. What works for one child doesn't always work for the other and vice versa. Now that we're about to have a third child, it's going to throw in a whole other set of learning and parenting skills because again, every child is different. So let's talk about it. What are some of the ways that we're already noticing that we're parenting Stella and Stratton differently? Well, I'll tell a story. Happened yesterday.

Yeah. So we're swimming in the pool. Okay. And Stella is throwing her toys in the water because she wants to put on her goggles and see them underwater. And I'm just kind of sitting there with my back to her. and all of a sudden I get this sharp pain in my head. And she had thrown a ceramic bucket at my head. Like as hard as she could.

As hard as she could. Like it still hurts today. And I did not know in that moment whether she did it on purpose. Like she was trying to throw it in the pool or she intentionally went into one of her rage fits and got angry and threw it up. It's probably because you weren't paying attention to her. Do you think? Yeah. I'm, I have, I didn't sleep last night thinking about this.

I was like, did my child try to kill me? Like, okay, and so, so Stella, and it could just be her age. Dana keeps saying it's normal. Jordan, like, came to me last night. He was like, babe, I'm really worried about Stella. She gets so angry. She has, she has a temper. She has a temper.

She has a temper. Yeah, they call. call it what are the big little feelings. Yes. But hers are monstrosities. You're like not, like you think that Stella is like an adult. And so when she does something,

you're like. She acts like an adult. No, but she's not, babe. She's a child. And like she doesn't know how to deal with her emotions. And so Jordan would be like, Stella, I don't like your attitude. I'm like, babe, she doesn't know what that means.

Like she doesn't know what your attitude means. I'm like, I'm like, I tell Stella. I'm like, if you're angry, yell in a pillow. If you're angry, stomp your feet. If you're angry, clench your fists. Like, I tell her, I'm like, be angry. Like, let her be angry. She's not doing anything, no harm to anyone.

I say, don't hit and don't say bad words. She hit. Don't scream at mommy. I know, but like, sometimes you get frustrated whenever she just has feelings. Like, she's angry and you're like, I don't like your attitude. Like, if you're going to keep action like this and we need to go time out, I'm like, she's not doing anything wrong. She's just being expressive.

I know because I am her sometimes. She's not like. Okay, but what's the line between? being expressive and being disrespectful. Or like I also hate whenever like people are like, okay, like now that, you know, like she does something wrong and it's like, okay, now you have to go hug daddy or hugs. I'm like, no, she doesn't want to go hug anybody. If you told me to go hug you after we had a fight, I would slap you.

I'd be like, no, I'm not going to go hug you. I need time. I need time to move on. Don't force Stella to do things when that's not how she's feeling in the moment because she's not like mature enough to like process her emotions. Well, we did have a 30 minute stalemate yesterday because I was like, we're not leaving this pool until you say sorry. And then she was like, I don't want to say sorry. And I was like, you threw a ceramic bowl at my head.

Yeah. She caved, but it took 30 minutes. But did you explain to her and say Stella? Yeah. We don't throw things. When you throw things, that hurts daddy. And I said, even though, again, we debated this, she kept saying it was an accident. She's so cunning that I was like, I don't know.

I was like, I'm 50-50. She's like, I was like, is an accident. She was like, dude, she's so, like she is manipulative. Manipulative. And so it's like, I could see her doing it on purpose and then being like, oh, shoot, I should have done that. It's an accident. I know. That's what I think happened is she went into a rage fit over whatever and then through it and then was like, oh, that was bad.

Because she knew immediately she did something wrong. Yeah. Mostly because my reaction was like, oh, my gosh, ow. Yeah. Right. And then. But. I don't, I'll wave the white flag.

I am struggling to parent Stella. Like, I am struggling because she is so strong-willed. I just let her feel. Let her feel. Let her feel. Yeah, there's like five or six things that like I don't allow her to do. But everything else, like, I'm like, okay, she's angry. She's doing it.

Like, I don't know. But like, I'm so scared that if we keep letting her get her way, that she will become a brat. I get it. but like she is not like I said there's boundaries and if she crosses them then she gets in trouble but like you're dealing with a three year old like you're not they're not their brains are not developed enough to understand she's three and a half okay I'm dealing with a three and a half year yeah I mean yeah when we have a third it's going to be difficult because I do feel like I and who knows

like when Stratton's three maybe he has big little feelings too. But like right now he does not. It's a big teddy bear. I know. Okay. So do you think that that has created this kind of difference and dynamic between the attention she gets versus Stratton? Oh, 100%. I know. So it demands all the attention. I think that people can be opinionated and judgmental about that all day. But like this is why the birthing order exists because like middle children become very like, I just want everyone to be happy. Hey, let's all just be happy. And then the youngest are like wild and then the oldest are like really responsible. And it just is like a fact of life that

when you have your first, you have a full pie of time and attention to get to them. Yeah. And then you have two. And by the time that your second is like old enough to like walk and talk, your other is like more demanding. It's just. You can't fight it. It's just when I get my time alone with Stratton, I'm like, oh my gosh, this is so easy. I know. Because he's so easy going. And like, like whenever I take Stratton and just like him and I go do something. I'm like this is wild. Like I would just, it's so different now having having two and having them get older and they're like more opinionated. But like, dude, he's so easy going. Yeah. I mean, and I think that we've done a good job now of like intentionally spending like one on one time with Stratton just knowing that by default, I think Stella has

gotten a little bit more attention. Do you feel like there's anything in our kids that we're going to have to like round out as they grow into teenagers in adulthood. Like for example, for me, I've caught Stella, and this is so how I am. Like, I feel like she got this straight for me. She's always like, I want to be four. I can't wait to be five. I can't wait to be six. Yeah, so it's normal. It's normal. But like I was always so future focused that it was hard for me to be like present in the moment. So I've just been like trying to encourage her and I'll be like, Stella, listen, three is the best year of your life. They're kids though. They will never understand that. No, I know, but I think it can make an impact, even at three.

No? Yeah. Yeah, I mean. It's like, it's like telling her like this year, this moment is the best moment ever. You don't, you'll be four one day. No, I think 17 is the best year. Okay, well, don't tell her that because then she's just going to say, three's hard. I mean, you get absolutely like no control over your life.

You can't do anything. You're like big emotions. Yeah, 17. But is there anything like in Stellar Stratton that you're seeing just even earlier? I think that we're going to struggle with Stratton. being passive maybe. Like he's just going to do whatever. Like I'm going to be like Stratton, like, what do you want?

You know? Because I feel like his sister's going to boss him around. Right. I just see that already. Like he just kind of follows Stella. Well, even when they play, it's like, Stratton, let's, we're going to do this. Yeah. He's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, straten, straten, straten, you want to play Hobbscott?

She goes, he goes, see, see. See. See. But when he. But when Stella's not there, he like, he's always just playing in his own little world. And it's like, this is amazing. best time when he's playing by himself. Like Stella's napping, Stratton comes down and he's like, oh, like he loves it.

And even when we take him to like Sunday school, like I've noticed that he's always kind of like playing by himself. Aw. Because he loves it. Not in a sad, lonely way. He's just like his own. Like my blocks, my toys. Yeah, he's like in his own little world. It's so funny.

No, it was cute yesterday. Stella really wanted to play with him. But Stratton is very, like he's like an old soul. Like Stratton likes music. He likes books. he likes to color he likes art he's more creative stella's more um like logical she's more like a like a diplomat like i don't know i like pink she's like i'm a princess yeah yeah but straten is very sensitive and creative and so you know stella's trying to play like house with him she loves to play

house and they play where they like go nine-night and things and and she's like basically which equals stratum just chasing stella around the house right well yesterday he came to me he goes he was like color color please please so he told me like he wanted to color and stella was like no stratton like what's play house and and then you can color afterwards and stratton's like no no so i set up his coloring station you know up on that whatever and he's just sitting there he's like little pucaso like he's just coloring all by himself and he had like just the best time coloring and flipping the pages and stella's running around the house just like literally going through all my makeup going through all of our drawers making the biggest

mess ever and stratton just coloring like he's just so he's like an old soul like that he loves music he loves stella has you and your mom's energy it's crazy yeah she's like a little she is y'all did you see what she did yesterday y'all oh my gosh no you didn't because i didn't post this on stories so i got this new um snow cone machine and it came in with an envelope of all these powdered flavors and stella went through every single packet open up every single one of them. This is like big packet of like like it's like a flavored sugar essentially dumped it all over the floor and then took her water spurious for her hair and sprayed water all over it. So we had this like rainbow gunky mess all of our wood floors and it was like powdered sugar like it's

so hard to clean up. It was literally everywhere. And then meanwhile, Stratton's over there like listening to like Mozart coloring in a coloring book. Like um so yeah, I feel like, They're definitely being different. I think Stella will have to teach not to be bossy, to be like considerate of other people's feelings. She's just more of like a boss. Yeah. Number two, the fall of the mega church pastor.

Since our last solo episode together, a lot has happened in the Christian church world. Mega church pastor Tony Evans has announced that he stepped down as the pastor from Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship due to sin and his life from years ago. Robert Morris, pastor from Gateway Church in South Lake, Texas has stepped down due to sexual abuse allegations. And Carl Lentz, the ex-Mega church celebrity pastor at Hillsong, New York,

has made a public reappearance on a new podcast called Lights On, where He and his family discussed in detail their story with his very public moral failure and what it has taught them. All that to say, we don't want to use the segment to judge anyone or to talk about their sins or anything like that, but instead discuss why we think that this continues to happen and what we think the church needs to do to stop it from continuing to happen in the future. Jerry. Before we start, have you listened to Carl Linz's new podcast? No, you did tell me about it, though. I should.

I haven't listened to the last two episodes, but I listen to the first two. How do you feel about him starting a podcast? I've gotten 50-50 feedback on this one. I think it's great. I think if you have something to say, go for it. Yeah. I, so I was a big fan of the Hulu documentary too, because I thought it, like, showed the gospel really well. I guess like my, the criticism with him starting a podcast is like it's been four years. Like, why would you start one now? Like if you didn't want to go back into the spotlight and you, this wasn't about you, like, why would you feel the need to say this in podcast form? Because he probably has like reflected and learned so much from his downfall and his experience.

I think it would have been unhealthy for him to start it four years ago. That's how I feel. Yeah. Like I feel like it's a very reflective thing. But it's funny because I've talked to people. who knew of him were pretty close into the Hillsong Circle. And they all are still very vehemently against him and are like, he shouldn't have started this podcast.

This is all a ploy. Don't trust it, et cetera. I'm a little bit more. Yeah, I'm still a little bit more unbiased because I'm like, wow, this is like such a redemptive story. Yeah. It's hard for people when they've been hurt personally by you to believe that you can change. I get that.

Wow, that was so deep. So where'd that come from? Well, it's just like, I think it's just natural. And anyone's hurt you. Like, you're always going to believe that they are inherently bad. Yeah. Like, it's going to be hard for you to be like, it's five years later.

They're probably really good people now. Why do you think this keeps happening? Oh my gosh, that's such a deep question. But my only thing about Tony Evans that I'm curious about is he stepped down from sin that happened in his life like years ago. That's always interesting to me. Tony Evans or Robert Morris? Same. I mean, Robert Morris as well.

Apparently, like, a lot of his allegations were when he was, like, in his 20s. Right. And I know that it says that Tony Evans stepped down from a sad dude in his life from years ago as well. And so sometimes I just wonder, I'm like, oh, are these people stepping down because finally they got caught

or like someone's coming out and finally saying these things, which is kind of hard for me because I do believe that people can change. And like, it's, It's really sad to me. It's like, of course, some of these things are like these allegations are horrible. And so I don't know what I'm, I think I'm speaking specifically about Tony Evans.

Yeah. Now, these are like sexual allegations. Like, yes, they should be held accountable 100%. But sometimes it's like, it's hard because I'm like, man, these are just people and they probably messed up in their 20s. Maybe they got too drunk. Maybe they made a mistake when they were drunk or whatever. And now he's like learned so much and grown so much in like 40, 30 years.

Yeah. And now he's like. it's like he's stepping down from something that happened in his 20s. Depending on what the sin is. But apparently it wasn't anything illegal, he said. And it was just something that he said, like if he found out about another pastor, he would advise him to step down.

But I mean, I'm like, good for him for taking the action on himself. Yeah. I don't know. It's so like, it makes you sad, doesn't it? You know, it makes me sad, but like, I don't know what else to expect. I honestly, like, this is so bad of me.

But every single time I go to church, I'm like, pastor, he has dirty secrets. Like, I just think that every time I'm like, this is a pastor, he has dirty secrets. He is a sinner just like me. He has really, really big things and big struggles that he's going through right now in this moment that like we don't know about. So Danny just remember that. Like, and I tell myself that. And then like, okay, so take it first. There is not like a pastor that I would ever be like, oh my gosh. Like, I can't believe I'm meeting them because they're just like people. Yeah. They're people. And like, so I don't like hold them to that.

standard. So I feel like when I figure out that they fall short, I'm not as hurt anymore. I did go through that phase. Like I did go through that phase where like I met a lot of my favorite like Christian influencers. And I, this was probably like four or five years ago. And I met them and like hung out with it. I'm like, these people are not what I expected. I was like, dude, this is so crazy. Like I thought that these people like were the model. We're the model. I was like just so shocked to see that they were like no different than me. And like not to say this in a weird way, but like they were like, like I was a better person than they were. I think that they wanted the fame way more. It's case by case scenario. But so like after going through that experience and now knowing that like

influencers, Christian influencers are just people like me too, it doesn't bother me as much whenever they fall short because I just kind of expect it. I expect it out of every single pastor. I expect them all to fall at some point because I just feel like they're people. Not in a bad way. It's not like I want that for them. But it's just like how are you supposed to like live this perfect life? Do you think that social media has brought their sin more into the light or perpetuated their sin? Like the social media and all the things that come with it like the temptation for fame and fortune and the look and the culture.

Do you think it's like social media has played a good role in uprooting sin from the church bringing these pastor down or perpetuating it? It is very easy to convolut the good that you're doing for your faith when it's actually for like your own personal gains. 1,000 percent. So and I've been there myself. So like I'm not the model either because it's like, man, look at all these people we're reaching and now they know about the. Lord or they know the gospel but man it feels good to know that they're looking at me too like and it's really hard to know like am I doing this because it feels good to know that people are looking at me because like it feels good well so then we just think to yourself who cares both are happening both are good

both are positive I'll never get a big head I'll never be like the one that's like seeking fame so then you just keep riding with it and you just keep going with it and you're like I'm not hurting anyone so I might as well just keep showing up but then you get you get like what slowly happens is you get like addicted to it. Like you you need that high and then you feel like you don't feel like worthy enough or good enough about yourself when you're not getting that high over and over. So you just want more and it feel in like but you're just think in your head like I'm doing it all for like a good reason. So I think a lot of times that that happens to people like you don't even realize into you're too far gone. Well so okay so if if a celebrity a mainstream celebrity

struggle with that same addiction. Because I think that you just like, you perfectly illustrated like what happens with that like fame dopamine hit. So are you saying that for a traditional celebrity, at least they're able to catch it and see it for what it is, but it almost gets too convoluted when you're doing it for Jesus. I think for a traditional celebrity because they don't, they probably don't have that self-awareness or the accountability or the wisdom to know that they're falling. So then they go down like a totally different path where it's like, man, that's not filling me up anymore. Let me try alcohol. Let me try drugs. Let me try it.

Now I'm depressed and now let me go on that path. I think Christian influencers like, okay, we know that's wrong. We're not going to go that direction. So let's just keep going with this like what I can mask my insecurities in or mask my this like need for fame in is doing good works for the masses. And I'm reaching thousands of people and I'm a good person. I'm sharing the message.

So like why is that a bad thing? It's so subtle. It's so subtle. It's so. Yeah. And it's like, I don't know the answer because like I think you just have to know if you're capable of like fighting through that. And like you're self aware enough to like to know. Like I know that there's some pastors that are like I like I know that most of my work needs to be done locally in a church and not online.

Yeah. Because they're aware. They're like, I know that I'll fall into that. And like I know that if I'm just producing like these 15 minute clips on reels that get like 15, 20 million views, I know that I'll get like addicted and sucked in and lose myself. So like I need to go serve at like a local church and serve in front of 2,000 people or 1,000 or 200 people. Because like I know that that's like my actually way of serving, not making like a 15 minute clip. Well, it would put into perspective, am I really doing this for me or am I really doing this for Jesus?

Like if you have a pastor who's at a mega church and who can treat. truly stepped down and step away. I think Francis Chan is one of the ones that did that. He stepped down. Yeah, he stepped down because he realized, he realized that people were following Francis Chan and not Jesus. And so I think that that's the true test of the heart is can I surrender this thing that God has given me walk away and preach to a crowd of 100 versus 100,000? And he did that, but you see it. I mean, I don't know where like Maddie and Grant Trout. are like in their, I haven't like caught up with her in a while. So, but I've always felt like they've tried to do that.

Yeah. Like serve locally and tried to. And I know that like Maddie has like a great like presence online and everything. But I feel like since they got married, it's something that they have been actively trying to fight. And like they're both come from like, like, you know, like she's huge on social media. And that would be really easy for her to just like fall back into it. And it seems like it's something that they, that I've noticed that they're like, they're aware of. Well, they moved to Waco, Texas.

That'll, that'll do it. No, I mean, that's a big thing. No, that's what I'm saying. It's like, I agree with you. Like, they, they, they took a step back. They moved from a dense urban area to Waco. Like, they, they did walk the walk to, like, actually, like, sanctify. It's, like, respectable.

Yeah, it's respectable. One of the things that's been interesting to me about the Carl Lentz podcast, and I think this is one of the points he's trying to make is, like, Like, you know, you guys, Hill Song, were so quick to rise me up and put me on stages and say, hey, you've got talent and you've got this. But the minute that I fall, you guys were on PR circuits and on Good Morning America the next day, completely discrediting me and saying that he was the problem. Like, they had a whole PR response into that. And it's like, if you truly believe the gospel, like, shouldn't the church that raised Carlins up

be the most supportive of him in that moment? But they're the ones that gave him that, that put him on that pedestal, gave him all that power and said, hey, you're bringing in thousands more each week. Like, we're going to put you on stage or, you know, like sell your book. It's weakness. It's like weakness amongst, like, the elders to do that because they're caving to the same social media pressure that we get on a daily basis. They're more concerned about the reputation of the church than they are, you know, actually, like, supporting and shepherding one of their, like, senior leaders.

I don't know, but that's one thing. I always thought was kind of cool about the Catholic church was they rotate out their like priests at each church that you don't get like hooked to one. Yeah. Ellie told me this. So like you don't have this like reoccurring pastor every single Sunday. And like when Watermark did have like three or four pastors that they were like rotating between, I don't know if they, do they still have a, I went on Sunday, but I hadn't been.

It's a lot of T. T.A. Yeah. I actually kind of thought that was cool because then you're not like going for this one person. I think that these mega churches are these churches like whoever's speaking the most, like who's up there on Sunday, they become like the face, the brand. And like how do you avoid that if that's just who you see every Sunday? Yeah.

I think in the same way that like our parents, boomers, we're not prepared for social media like Facebook. The church wasn't. The church wasn't. And I think it's like, no, yeah, we were kind of raised with both. So I think that we were able to, like, navigate it a little bit better. I think Gen Z is, like, phenomenal in navigating it because they're native to it now. But I don't think anyone prepared the church for that many opinions and, like, how to handle them. And I definitely don't think that celebrity pastors were prepared for it, you know, whatsoever.

Do you think that when a pastor does morally fail, like, do you know, do you know, think that affects your view of them? And do you feel like it like the whole congregation, it affects their view of them? Like what about you personally versus like the whole congregation? Yeah. I mean, it's been so interesting to talk to people about this Carl Linz podcast because I am so like, guys, what are we doing here? Like this is the best representation of the gospel that I've seen in years. Like it actually, like, and I genuinely mean this, like his redemption story, it's not, for me, it's not about whether it's genuine or not, it's about, like, I see it and I see that he is still married and I see his wife fighting through infidelity. And I'm like, that is redemption. That is the gospel. And so it's

made me so like long game Jesus, long game Carl Lentz, but it's been so interesting to talk to people who felt that they were either represented by him or around him, you know, to be like, that was right. Like they should have cut him off. And I'm like, I don't see that. So like, what are you, So are you thinking what would have been best is for, like, give him a break and then Carl Lenz comes back to the church and he continues working and speaking? No, no. I don't think so. I hate to say this. I think that his podcast was like a really good move.

Like I think that. Like you think that church should, like, support his podcast? I don't know if the church should support it or endorse it per se. But you said that the church was so quick to get rid of it. Yeah, they were. So what would the alternative be? Like what would supporting Carl Lens through his downfall have looked like? So this is what I would say is that if you listen to the podcast, you know, this is how,

and you and I have been through cancel culture before. So like I want you to put yourself in his mind for a second. Yeah, it's literally the worst. The announcement comes out. He is not with his wife and kids. He is staying at a friend's house that is putting him up in Brooklyn. He has to call his wife who had already seen the story. story and then he gets a phone call from probably someone at the church and or a friend who's a

believer most likely who calls him and says I want you out in three hours he's like I'm living here all my stuff's there like his friend kicked him out within three hours he had to get a U-Haul pack up all of his stuff calls all around finally finds a family living in Brooklyn with his friend I don't know probably he was there for Hill song who knows all the details but like but what I'm saying is like you know he he called all around no one would take him and family. He's like, where are we supposed to go is finally a family in Connecticut that brought him in. No one would talk to him. He was completely ostracized by the situation. So like, what should have the church done? Not that is my opinion. Like when you're going through that, like our friend,

you know, who was going through that. Like what we did was we were like, hey, like, can we be here for you? Like, because we're able to separate like media craziness from like, this is truly a human being. the media side will blow over and you are going to be left broken and alone and like someone's got to be there to like pick you back up. So you mean like you think that the church should have helped them but not necessarily by giving them the platform again. No, no, no. Like he should have definitely been pulled off stage effective immediately because like you you have to, he says this in the podcast, like you've got to let the rainfall first and there just needed to be a season of just like down core and feeling and working through it and therapy and being like,

how did we get here? Yeah. And what does that need to look like? I also am like 50-50 on whether he should be allowed to be platformed again. And if he goes after that, I would... Allowed? What do you mean? Like, go back to the church.

Oh, allowed by the church. Yeah, if he went back to Hill song, I don't know if it would be a wise move for Carl to go back on stage. I don't know, right? I don't know how I feel about that. But I think a podcast is a wonderful thing because, you know, you and I, do this podcast. Yeah, because he can, yeah, we don't, yeah, we don't feel like how many people listen to this. Like, it's like, you know, people will come up to you and be like, oh, I love your podcast. You're like, oh, you listen. Like, you don't feel it the same way you would feel a physical

presence. And so it's easier to avoid that temptation of fame and, you know, all those things. Yeah. So tricky. It just needs to be sad. It's just really sad. That's what it is. It's really, like, sad for. Because also at the same time, don't you want to hear from those people the most? I want to hear from Carl the most. Like, don't you want to hear from the people that actually have gone through something and then learn their lesson and then changed because of it? Yeah. They're able to speak about Jesus and like the power. Like I feel like I have more in common with those people than I do like the perfect pastor on the stage who does everything right. You know what the irony of is is we all do? But like we're all so selfishly.

righteous that we don't know that. Like we all think that we are better than Carl Lentz. We all think that we're better than Tony Evans or whoever. And so it allows for us to be like, well, I would never do that. Right. Like my mom always told me. She's like, don't ever get close to your pastor. I mean, she might not have been wrong about that.

My mom literally was always like, don't ever get, don't ever get to know your pastors. She's been telling me that since the little girl. Yeah. She was like, those are always the most messed up people. She must have had her own experience. Yeah. I don't know what it was. Or maybe she's right and they're just able to mask it better because they're doing good or they're reaching people or saving, you know.

It sounds like there was personal burn there. Speaking of Christianity, let's bring back a crowd favorite chicken soup for Danny's soul. I love this. I love chicken soup too. We're going to take a moment and we're going to do a deep dive and just have a little stare. therapy session with Boo Boo over here. Okay. So, babe, tell me about the last time you were genuinely really happy.

Just a quick check-in. Yeah. As deep and light as you wanted. Before last week, it had been a long time. Really? No, actually, before Friday. Friday was like the first day, so I started to feel really good. Before that, I always know when I'm depressed because you could give me $100 million

dollars and I would not have faced been faced how would you respond to a hundred million dollars right now now I would do some damage but like I was thinking about it and I was like you give me a hundred million dollars and like I wouldn't even want to get out of bed for it yeah like there's nothing there's nothing that like could make me happy that I would want that would like get me going or excited but I would say like I genuinely probably felt the most happy on Friday because you were because you were still out of town. That's not what I was meant to say. That's what I'm saying.

It's like I feel like I can leave. No, listen, I didn't finish my sentence. You were still out of town and that was the first day that I was starting to feel good. Yeah. So I took the kids to a movie by myself. Yeah, I didn't. And that felt so good because I felt physically good and I did something fun with my kids. Like I spent some really good like quality time with them.

And like, I'm sorry. Sometimes it makes me feel good. when I do things without you with my kids. Like it just makes me feel like accomplished. And I'm like, man, I did it. And I took them both to a movie. And everyone was worried about me. They were like, are they going to sit?

And I was like, no, I got this. So we went there without a stroller too. And we walked around a little bit afterwards, which was a little challenging. And then we went to Chick-fil-A. I got a sandwich at Witch-Witch. I came home, put them to bed. And like, it was just like the best Friday night. I felt genuinely very happy.

And I also didn't post about it on social media. And like, that's when you know, like, I'm like, so happy, like, that I'm not even posting. Go off, Queen. On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you this week? This week? Today's been like a little bit harder every day, but I would say like I've been a two. And now I'm probably like six and a half seven.

I was going to say seven. Who do you miss at the moment? Right now. Hazel. Oh, that's sweet. I probably missed Hazel during this practice. fancy more than I should. That's hard.

Because she always, like, would cuddle with me when I was pregnant. Mm-hmm. I can't think about it. I mean, I can't think you're about to cry. I know. What do you need for me right now? Nothing. Leave me alone.

No, I'm kidding. Babe, I, can I tell you something? Yeah, is this, is this like an ick? No, no. Oh, okay. No. You haven't given me any icks lately. You told me yesterday that the way I was holding your hand gave you the egg.

Oh, yeah, I do. Okay. Listen. That's what I'm saying is like what you're saying and what you're communicating or just two different things. He was holding my hand, giving your hand. And he goes like this. And he touches my hand ever so lightly on the veins. And it can see the ick.

It like makes me feel so, ugh. No. That's not what I was going to say. I was going to say. what I need the most is like I can get up with the kids but if you could put them to bed I know I feel that for me. It's so hard for me at night right now. I did last night. I know but I feel so guilty every time you do it. I feel so guilty. You don't need to feel guilty. I'll tell you when you need to feel guilty. Well no because then it's too late. Then it's like you've already

felt resentment. No I don't feel resentment over that at all. I am so down by like 630. I know. I feel it. Yeah. Just to communicate, like, I mean, I was doing that for, like, the past, like, three weeks, and I was totally fine with it. I was not, I was not functional three weeks ago. Like, now I am kind of functional. Yeah.

So now I feel even more guilty. It's just so hard. It's a lot. It's okay. I'll tell you prior to the resentment building. Okay. And also, like, Sel and I got this thing going where I, like, give her a little treat. She puts herself to bed.

We have agreement. She puts her own PJs on. Okay. What is something you've been not proud of lately? The list. The list. It's one to choose. There's so many.

Same, honestly. So many. Same of like, how did I F up to it? I'm not that proud of my work ethic these last couple of weeks. You get that big Amazon order and get back to it. Yeah, I tried. I linked my pants today, so I was proud of myself. Yeah, the amount of links I'm posted.

is just not good enough. That's okay. And, yeah, just like my work ethic, like my overall, overall drive. Like, I'm kind of dreading doing the Northsham anniversary sale. And, like, I always loved doing that. So in, like, three weeks?

Yeah, like, I'm dreading it. I'm, like, counting down the days. Why don't you just not do it? I know. I thought about that. And I was like, why am I doing it if I don't want to do it? But, like, I have to.

It's just. It's, it's tradition. It's things like that. It's tradition. It seems like that that like I think that make me proud of myself. I've also not been working out so I feel really guilty of that. I skipped my last walk run with Ellie and I haven't seen my mentor because I haven't felt good. So you know, I'm just really mess.

And then I didn't go to church like all due with my first trimester because I didn't feel good. So I'm just really horrible. What is something you've been proud of? Let's end on a high note. I think you've been a good mama, good mama bear. You've been a good mom? Yeah. Really?

I really do. I feel like it's so weird. Like I feel like I've been so not that great of a mom. But I try, you know. I try. But like I feel like my kids love me more than ever right now. That's what I'm saying is I think you've been a great mom. I think you're so, you're harder on yourself than you need to be.

Okay. So what you're proud of is. being a great mom. Yeah. Is there anything else you're proud of? I gave that one too. And then today I did try on like all these clothes that have been sitting in my office for the past six weeks that I just needed to know if they fit or not to like donate,

get rid of a return. And I finally did it today. There we go. Little steps, baby steps. Well, that was a good show. Do you want to close us out? Yes. Thank you guys for listening to our episode.

We would love for you to follow us on TikTok and Instagram. at De Implenance Podcasts. We love you guys and we'll talk to you later. Bye.