De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan - Miami Vacay, Jordan’s Confession, & Dani’s Untold Spiritual Journey

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

After mustering up the energy to record this episode for a second time after a crazy storm power-outage, Dani and Jordan give us a detailed look behind the curtain of their personal lives. Buckle up and grab your coffee, cause this episode gets DEEP.

to yet again another episode of your favorite podcast, D-Inflensed. And you guys, this is so sad. It's hard for me to be here. It's hard to be here right now. So if you guys follow us in stories, you know what happened already. But yesterday, we, which, you know, we sat down. We filmed about an hour podcast episode. And we were finishing it off, got really deep.

We're talking about our faith. we're talking about like very personal things and then our power went out like for the fourth time that day and we lost everything. It's hard because the episode was an absolute banger. It was, it was.

This one's gonna be even better though. I can feel it. See, you're there, I'm not there. I'm like, how do you recreate the magic? It was magical, but like... It needs to go down in history like the episode that was never heard. That was never heard.

Well, so then all. All of our cameras shut off. And we lost, except for one. So we have three cameras set up right now for our YouTube channel. If you guys don't watch, YouTube.com slash Danny Austin. And then all everything. Is it still Dana Austin? I think it's Danny Austin too.

No. Are you sure? I'm pretty positive. Gosh, I don't know, actually. Man, it's been so long. I think it's Danny Austin, too. Danny Austin, two, the number two. So we lost everything except for the sinner.

camera that films us, that card did not shut off, which was so interesting. So we had a little bit, but we couldn't post it because the audio is so bad. So anyway. But like Danny went off. Like it was probably a depth of Danny that it's not even that you guys have never seen. It's that like I as her husband had never seen. Oh, that's sad. They'll never know. I know. It's really hard. I'm, mourning. It's okay. This is going to be even better. You know what we're going to start with? You can't Stop us Satan. You know what we're going to start with? What?

You, how are you doing? I'm doing good. What's new in life? We recently, we got back from Miami. Yeah, we talked about Miami. We have had crazy weather, honestly, in Miami and here. You want to tell them a little bit about Miami, like what you thought? Loved Miami.

We stayed in the north side of Miami, so we're in a lot of moms, like, chirping off about, like, oh, you shouldn't go to Miami. Yeah. I mean, I think I was like, yeah, I'm not going to take my kids like clubbing or anything. Like, I think it would be okay. So we stayed in North Miami. At the Four Seasons, which was so nice. Oh, my goodness.

Yeah, probably one of my favorite hotels. It's really nice for adults, but it's also just perfect for kids. Like, they're very accommodating the kids. And so it was like a, it was one of my favorite hotels. I had the best time ever because I had not been on a trip like that with just my babies. And yes, my assistant came with me. which honestly, I really didn't, like, I wanted, I love her and everything, but I wanted to be able to take, like, care of the kids on my own.

I'm so happy that I brought her because there is no freaking way I could have done, like the flight and everything by myself. Yeah. So I had like, but pretty much, like, she was just there to, like, just give me, like, a second hand, helping hand because Jordan wasn't able to join me just yet. So, because he was at a team retreat, which he'll tell you about in a second. But it was like the best time having all that freedom in Miami, which is the kids and like going to the beach with them and hanging.

I became their best friend. There was one night that they woke up and or you know, Stella woke up first. It was like 2 a.m. And then she stands up in her crib and she's like, and so then Stratton wakes up in his crib. And he's like, you know, well, it's not saying mom. But he's screaming. So it's 2 a.m.

They're both looking at me screaming. And I got both of them out of bed. And you know I don't like co-sleep with Stratton. Stratton because he's just he's too small. He's too fragile. He's too fragile. Like I just I you know I always get scared because I'm kind of like a crazy sleeper But it was just like one of those things. So I put Stratton in the middle of us and then Stella on the outside And we culled so hard the entire night. It was literally the best night of my life Yeah, it I could tell from so I went to a We had like a vice president retreat in Scottsdale Arizona super random. Don't we own a place there? I

Uh, yeah, uh, in Sedona. Oh, got it. Yeah. Um, but, uh, we went on a, uh, VP retreat. It was good. Uh, really had to like bring the team together. It's like, we hired a bunch of new people. And I was like, you guys are operating as individuals.

And so I told them to all watch, remember the Titans before they got to, uh, Scottsdale. And one of them, I think actually did. She'd never seen it before. She's like, takes your assignment seriously. She's like taking notes. No, I sent a very strong. strong preamble before and I was like guys I'm not happy you guys are operating as individuals and we are a team yeah um and so it's a very good like bringing people together experience I think that

um it was success but anyway from Scottsdale I was there while Danny was in Miami for a couple days and I could just feel the joy from the face times coming from you like you the thing about Danny is that like she just really wants time with her babies without I would say sometimes me which it's okay. 100% on Saturday when you're like I'm gonna go play paintball I'm like yes yeah I get to go hang out with Stella I get to go hang out with Stratton straten's at a tough age to like chill you know yeah he doesn't chill much you didn't really chill so it's like kind of hard but yeah I like to chill with my yeah babies and so I just felt the joy coming from you it really made me happy that you were joyful with our babies I was living life you were living life that's what I've been doing lately I've been

living life the motto of of this podcast well I was living life I was living life early 2023 and then I had to take a month off because there were some problems at divvy and then I was not living life but now I am back to living life I was like you guys you vPs need to work together because I need to be live in life like you told me that you want us to create content and storytell the story of divvy but I can't do that if you don't let me live my life we were talking about this yesterday because Jordan I've just been in a very like non-affectionate stage of my life and Jordan's like probably at the peak of his affection where like he needs to be touching me at all times but he's obsessed but he's so obsessed he's so

aggressive with his affection sometimes like yeah it's not like he like gives me a sweet hug and kiss and it's like I love you dear it's like come here you let it's like it's like cuteness sweetness sweetness aggression you know like sometimes you just like want to grab like stradden and you're just like you're just like you're so freaking cute I'm just squeeze you and I'm like eat you yeah and it's like that's like how I feel about you and that's what he's what he's He does to me, like even whenever we, you know, wake up in the morning and he rolls over. It's not like a cute snuggle. It's like, get over here.

And he like throws his leg over and it like, his knee like kills me in the shin. And then I have like a bruise the next day. He's like, I love you so much. And I'm like, get off of me. This is what I do whenever he hugs me go. Yeah. So speaking of snuggles. The reason I was saying that is because I never got to finish when we brought that up.

Oh, yeah. Okay. It's kind of random. I brought that up because he's like every time he hugs. me like that he's like phew come here i'm just living my i'm like can you live life in your own personal bubble aside from my personal bubble just for a minute but i'm not sure to be like a hater like don't hate i mean like dandy like you should love your head i do love my husband's affection no we'll get into we'll get into why you don't want my affection in a second no i do want your affection and i do appreciate it

and i do love the gentle affection it's just the aggressive one it's like the same thing like whenever You know, I don't know what it is about husbands, but like they cannot walk behind you without touching your butt. Yeah. Like what is that about? I don't like walk in front of you and grab your balls. I can't believe you said balls in this podcast. Yeah, I mean, your butt is like the best part of you though. Wow, I would have thought you said my heart, but okay.

Well, I mean, like, yeah, if I'm going to give a boring answer, but like, I think I've already said this before. Anyway, let's talk for a second. You brought up snuggles in the morning. Let's talk about our new mattress pad. Oh my gosh. Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, hold on. This has changed my life. This is not sponsored.

Okay, they do a lot of podcast sponsoring, and this is absolutely not sponsored. Which we would like for you to sponsor us, so we're not saying that we don't want to be sponsored. We're just saying we fell for your other ads and then purchased it and now we love it. And it is so freaking expensive. So if we could get some codes up in here, like that would be nice.

You guys, this, I have not slept like this probably in years. Like, probably since I was a child. You want to tell them about it or do you want me to? No, I'll tell them about it. Okay, tell me. And I wouldn't say since you're a child, I would say, you know, our marriage, one of the most difficult parts of our marriage since we had Stella has been the night sweats. Because like, I'm.

I'm a big cuddler. Like, you know, when, when Danny wakes up on a Saturday morning, Monday through Friday, I'm cool with it. But if, if Danny is awake on a Saturday morning and I roll up, my eyes open and I roll over and I see Danny on her phone and she has not alerted me or touched me or tried to snuggle me, then I am personally offended. You get so mad. That I am not the top priority on a Saturday morning.

And that like, I'm like, what could you be Googling right now that is more important than the 30 minutes that we have? What am I usually Googling? Like, dumb stuff. Like, did Zendaya and Tom Holland breakup? You know? And I'm just like, what is it? I think it's Zendaya. I think it's Zendaya.

Oh, gosh. Anyway, it's like the dumbest stuff. And I'm like, are you joking me? Like, we have this moment. And so I'm just like a big cuddler. Sorry, side note. It's because I like to Wikipedia everything. So I was recently watching that new show, the crowded room.

Yeah, it sucks. It's with Tom Holland. And it's, anyway, it's an interesting concept is based off of a true story. But yeah, I just needed to know who Tom Holland was dating at the time. So yes, I woke up in the morning and I was Googling who is Tom Holland with. But anyway, since we've had Stella, like, we've gotten hormone checks. We've invested in like everything to figure out this night sweat problems. But it's really like sometimes I can't even, as much of a snuggler as I am, I roll over.

and it is so hot over there and so sweaty and moist that I just, I have to retreat. I just am like, okay, like this isn't even worth it. But we got this, we got this new mattress pad cover. It's called the eight sleep, okay. Eight E, I, GHT, not like number eight. Yeah. Well, you could probably find it either. Well, okay.

But it is, I found out about it because all the tech bros like on Twitter use it. And they're like, oh, eight sleep. And they're probably honestly all sponsored saying it. It got you so good. It got me so good. But I got it. And what it does is it will read your, like it has all these sensors in the pad. So it'll read like the optimal like temperature that you need during your rim cycle.

So if you like to get into a warm bed, you can set your preferences of like when I get into bed. I want it to be warm. And then it will cool down throughout the night and then rewarm back up for you to wake up. It will also vibrate like an alarm clock. Like that's how I woke up at 5.30 this morning. Oh, and I didn't feel that. No, you didn't feel it because you can control. control each side. So Danny's side is very cool. I would die. Mine is very warm. Jordan sleeps with like

10 layers on every single night. I basically sleep like almost but naked. Um, and so yeah, whenever I get into bed, I go like negative five and I make it like really cold. And the way that I think it warms up is through it like fills the mattress pad with water like cool water or warm water. And so it almost feels like you're laying on top of like an air vent with little tiny holes and just like slowly cools down and it feels just so phenomenal because then you have this like warm blanket on top of you. The mattress is cool. It has been the best experience. I like I'm so obsessed with it. It's changed my life. I almost started crying thinking about how much it changed my life. Yeah. So listen, there's going to be some people out there that Google the price and they're

going to be like, oh my gosh, I can't believe you spend it. And listen, I don't want to hear it because you cannot put a price tag on sleeping. You're well-being. Saturday morning cuddles is what I was going to say. Oh. Like I have been, I've been withheld from this experience for years. I've paid my dues and I'm now investing in the future of our marriage through the eight sleep. And if that's not a freaking non-sponsored sponsored ad, I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is.

That's very good. No, it's truly the best. So yeah, we've been sleeping great. We've been traveling great. We had some crazy storms, like we told you guys. Our power went out like three or four times yesterday. Come to find out. So I don't know, like we got home from Miami, and Miami has some crazy weather.

I mean, so it's sunny, you know, 95 and sunny like one minute. And then 10 minutes later, it's a complete hillstorm. Same thing is kind of going on in Texas. So we were all watching a movie, hanging out. Then it was like, actually with swimming that day, It was like not a cloud in the sky. And then we had this hail storm come in, 65 mile per hour winds. And, you know, the kids are screaming, freaking out.

They get in bed with us. And we look outside. The trees are going like wild. Look up the next morning. There is our neighbor's tree has completely fallen over, broken through their fence, and then fallen across the alleyway and broke through our like back neighbor's fence onto the power line. So we lost power that entire night, which ended up being okay because we had like a bunch of external chargers. But don't worry, it's not the power line that runs through our backyard.

No comment. But anyway, so that all happened. And yeah, it's just been really sad to like drive around because literally all the trees are knocked down in our neighborhood. They did like cut off or like rope off some of the streets. It's falling on people's houses. It's been crazy, but I feel like it's like just in our neighborhood. It's weird. So weird. I think it's a spiritual attack. I really do. Yeah, we were having a deep faith discussion, which we're going to try and reboot in a second.

I think we go around too. Maybe you have a little bit more clarity about what you're feeling. Yeah, I mean, we can. We'll try and go there. But anyway, right when the power shut off, we already said this. But like, it was like, I literally think I said, I'm about to blow the lid off this podcast and then power goes out. It is crazy.

And it was like totally spiritual warfare. Is there anything else? that's been going on before we get into like our faith discussion. I'm pro-J-SX. Oh, okay. I want to publicly apologize. I was a little hasty in my opinions about JSX last episode. What is JSX?

JSX is not a private plane. It is more of like a, what would you call it, a charter? It's like a jet. It flies out of the private terminal, but it's like the same price as like an American Airlines. So I don't know if it's the same price every time, but like we were. flying back from Austin and our flight got canceled or delayed. It was delayed for hours. So, and we were flying Southwest. So we looked at JSX, Austin to Dallas. It was the same price as Southwest. Now, I don't know if every single flight is the same price, but it's about the same. And it's

totally worth it because you show up to the terminal 20 minutes before your flight takes off. No security. They also like never actually weighed our bags. All our bags were over 50 pounds. And they didn't even really have a scale. Like they like just pick it up and like feel it out. It's interesting. So it's like you, before you board, you're kind of in like a lounge. I mean, it depends on which private terminal. Yeah, but like you're kind of in a lounge. You get like snacks, free drinks.

And then you can show up 30 minutes before. And the plane is obviously smaller. Yeah, but it doesn't bother me. But it's like it. I kind of like it better. Yeah. And it was really great for kids. You know, they have healthier snacks.

Yep. They have Starlink, which is Elon Musk's internet company. I told you the internet. The Wi-Fi was phenomenal. Yeah, it didn't work for me. I had one bad experience. It was not fair for me to share. No, you just couldn't figure out your Wi-Fi because my Wi-Fi worked at that time.

Yeah. You can literally watch YouTube videos that you don't download, like, on this plane. Yeah, I'm very pro-JX now, though. But just everyone needs to know that they're like offering lower prices. They're probably going to raise the prices. I don't know. They're losing money right now. Why?

They're trying to acquire us as customers, get us hooked, and then they're going to the price. See, they got me so good right there. So just like be careful with like dipping your toe in the water because it could not be like this. You'll fall in love. And then they'll get you hooked. I took Stella to the movies this past weekend, which everyone was like, no, no, no, no, she's too young. I'm like, no, no, no, you don't know Stella. She's like a little genius baby. And, you know, and I think this is the thing that you have to do with your kids when you tape them to like a new experience, whether it's dance lessons or movie theater experience, whatever, it's traveling on an airplane. If you get them hyped up and you

start telling them about it, like the day before, then they are like, they take it so serious. You know, so like the night before, I'm like, Stella, listen, we're going to go to this thing. Okay, it's called movie theater. I'm like, listen, it's this big screen. The thing is, like, when we go, we have to be quiet. And so when she thought of movie theater, she thought of being quiet. And she associated the two, like for the next 48 hours, it was all about movie theater being quiet, which, because that's my biggest fear. I don't want her to get in there and then be loud and then we have to leave because she's too loud.

Now, she did talk a little bit, quite a bit, but it was so cute. Like, like, you know. Would she whisper? Yeah, like, no, Ariel would come on this scene. She'd go, Mommy, that aerial? And I'm like, yes, that's Ariel. And then like another like male mermaid. Mommy, that's not Ariel.

And I'm like, yes, I'm aware still. I'm like, should we have to be quiet? But no, she did so great. I snuck in a bunch of snacks, not because, and I, you know, I took a backpack and I just, like, stuff them in there, and not because I'm, like, trying to get free snacks. Like, listen, I'll pay for the $8 popcorn, okay? I don't, which is ridiculous, but, like, I'll pay for that. It wasn't about that. It was, like, you, if you have different snacks to introduce to her, like, every 15 minutes, it keeps her engaged, because she has something to look forward to. So I would, like, bring out a ritz

cracker, and then I'd bring out, like, some goldfish, and then I'd bring out a sucker and, like, just like changed up every 15 minutes. So that got her like, you know, pretty, pretty in tune. But I would say the biggest mistake I made was going too early. Like we watched the previews. And the previews were not necessarily geared towards a two-year-old. So by the time, you know, those are 30 minutes long. That's a long time for a two-year-old to just sit there and watch something that she didn't care about.

So I felt like that was like too much. I wish I would have taken her, you know, probably 30 minutes late to the movie so that it started run on time. So that was like probably my biggest. We did leave probably three, fourths through the movie. Not because she was talking or being loud. She just started walking around. You know, she don't want to sit anymore. And I was like, honestly, this movie kind of.

Was anyone? I don't love the movie anyway. So I said, you want to go get chukes play? She was like, yeah. So we went and got chook-flaid instead. Was, what was I going to ask you? Did anyone else bring kids? No, oh, I was going to ask you, was everyone annoyed around you or anyone annoyed?

No, no. I mean, what do you expect? You're going to a disqual. movie at 12 o'clock on a Saturday. I don't know. I know a lot of adults that are like, I can't wait to see the new little mermaid. Yeah, but you have to know if you're going,

they had a 9 a.m. 11 a.m. and a 12. Like, come on. Like, these are the shows for the kids. They're discounted if you go that early. And so, so no, like, people were so nice. There were a couple of their other babies in there that were like four years old and they weren't handling it well.

I was like, I will say that what Miami taught me was that I, love spending time with our kids more than I ever could have imagined. I'm so obsessed. It's like, it's like, why don't we do this sooner? I know. Why don't we have more?

I will say, like, please don't hate on me, but it's like I'm obviously, I love my son. But it's hard to hang out with Stratton. He's just at a hard age. I'm just such a two-year-old girl. Like when they turn two, the reason is because the tantrums don't bother me. the screaming, the crying, like, that doesn't really, like, stress me out. I think keeping them safe stresses me out more than, like, you know, them going wild or them going crazy or whatever.

And I just love whenever they have, when they're, like, their little human beings, when they have opinions and they start to talk. And, like, you know, Stella is so funny. Like, she's actually really funny. She's a funny girl. And I love seeing her develop into this, like, little human. And Stratton's just, you know, it's just like a little Spider-Man right now. Spider-Man.

But here's the funny thing about Stratton is that when he gets to the point where he can walk and talk, he is probably going to be the funniest. Dude, he is going to. Because he already is messing with Stella. Yeah. Like he is very intentionally kind of like mischievous. Like he's so funny already that when he can walk and talk, he is going to be, oh my gosh. It's going to be crazy. We are not, like, our hearts are just going to be.

like melted on the floor 24-7. Okay, so one of the benefits of bringing Ramsey on the trip, I feel like, was that we, you and I got a couple nights to, like, go out on our own. Yeah. What did you think about the restaurants in Miami? I think the Miami restaurants are so good. Like, we went to a place called Cassatua, which was Italian food? Yeah, I guess so.

It was so good. We went to a place at our, or, it was. It was called at the four seasons. What was it called? The Surf Club. Literally the best Fetuccini Alfredo I've ever had my entire life. It was covered with truffle. It was so freaking good.

That was the night that we actually took Stella with this as well. I know. And then we had that infamous dinner at Nobu. Oh, yes. Okay. So we go to Nobu and I had never been to Nobu. Have you? Have I been to Nobu?

No. I have not. So we went to Nobu and, You know, we, we had a great trip. We had a great time. But the, you know, about midway through the dinner, um, Danny starts crying and I-

Well, I didn't just start crying out of the way. You're right. You're right. Tell, how did we get there? I honestly, I forgot this last time we tried to record and I actually genuinely forgot how we got there too. Well, I had been kind of off all day. You had been off all day.

And then you wanted to talk about it. Yeah. Yes. Okay. I was also on my period. Yes, you were on your period. And so we wake up and Stella, we had mentioned to Stella that we were going to go to the zoo. And then she was like dialed in to this zoo concept, right?

Well, you had mentioned to Stella that we were in. Right. And that's why that was my bad. But anyway, it was on the schedule. Like we had tickets to the zoo, which was awesome. Like the zoo, you got to admit. The zoo in Miami was great. No, the zoo, it was so great.

It was epic. Yeah, it was great. And so, but. I think in your mind you had an idea that we were going to have a beach day, right? And so we go to the zoo and I feel like that really kind of started the downward trajectory. But like it wasn't bad. Like we had a great time at the zoo. Like I don't think you were like upset or anything like that.

And then, you know, we're talking at Nobu about the day. And then what happened after that? you just you didn't start crying well i was upset you were upset yeah because um okay let me try this you were upset because when we had planned this trip you had had the expectation of i really when i when i imagine a family vacation that i have been wanting for years i imagine us all being on the beach and playing in the sand and like... Okay, it wasn't just about the beach. What it was is I felt like,

it was like for the first time in a while that I felt like whenever I was without you and our kids, like I had control again because I really haven't had, even though we run our own businesses, I run my own business, like I don't have a lot of control in my life. Like basically I look at my calendar

and I have things lined up for me every single day. True. And it's a lot. And I get, and there's not a lot of time that like, that I get to like kind of, call the shots every day because like yes I do from a high level but like everyday tasks no yeah so with this trip whenever I was with the kids alone like I just found this like freedom with them again and it

felt so good and I felt like whenever you got there then it went back to like a lot of structure not blaming on you it just kind of was the way that it was because like obviously if you're going to do things with your kids you have to have plans but what I really wanted whenever you got there was to just have like just another like chill relaxing day And so, yeah, I was, like, really bummed, but I was also my period. And I just think that what it was is, like, whenever you take your kids at the zoo or you actually, like, leave and do, it's so much work and it's so exhausting. And I think it just, like, wanted to relax.

Yeah. I think that we've talked a lot about, like, the mental load that moms carry. So, like, whenever I'm like, hey, let's go to the zoo, I'm like, okay, like, throw a couple diapers in a bag and, like, let's go. And I think that, like, Danny and moms think about all of these, like, crazy details. that... Yeah, like, is the car seat going to be installed, right? Like, how are you going to get warm milk?

Like, what about, it's in the middle of their nap time? Like, what if they get hungry? Do we have enough snacks? Do we have enough sippy cups? Like, all these things that, like, probably half of them don't matter, but then half of them, like, actually really do matter. Yeah. And so, yeah, and then we also didn't have a car, so we had to, like,

arranged a driver. And Stella was kind of, like, in a bad mood for, like, that, you know, that day, she was going wild. So it was just one of those things. I was like, can we just, like, go to the beach and, like, just chill. and like playing the sand. And I was just tired. I don't know.

You were tired. And I was hormonal. Well, that's okay, though. Like, it was okay. It took me by surprise, I will say, and I think it took our waiter by surprise, because he was checking on us a lot. And then he just kind of stopped. And it was just like one of those times where it wasn't bad that you were crying,

but it came so out of left field for me. And then I think, like, I was just like, oh my gosh, like, we're creating this depiction in the restaurant that, like, I'm breaking up with you or you're breaking up with me or something's like going on. And it was just like an emotional moment. But I... Yeah, I was crying in public and I will say there are no times in my life that I don't want to see people that follow us. Like I love meeting people.

There were two girls that came in. That's hard. And pointed and we're like, and I couldn't. And it wasn't because I didn't want to say, I was like embarrassed, you know? And so those are the times if I, if people ever see, like, I don't say hi. It's probably because I'm crying or I'm embarrassed. rest of myself. Like it was just, yeah.

But then we took a walk and we talked some things out. And so yeah, I don't know. I was just being, it was just a moody day. It's hard. I think that one thing I've learned about you is that like sometimes like I think when you have kind of like a vision or an expectation for the future and what you want that to look like. Sometimes it's like I don't know what that expectation.

or vision is, right? It's not like openly communicated, but I can tell when it's like not being hit. And it's sometimes like not even a bad thing. It's just something like so simple as like, I just want to like be with our kids at the beach and have no schedule and stuff like that. And so the next day we were able to do it though. Because one day about me is like I like to be spontaneous. Yes. I even though like having structure is so important and I thrive off of it. But like my at my core, I want to wake up and be like, what are we doing today? Like, where are we going and just be able to fly by the seat of our pants? Like, that is, like, my ideal life.

And so when I'm on vacation, like, that's the vision that I have is, like, no plans. What do we mean? And then maybe you do, like, two or three days of, like, no plan. And then you do a plan day. But, like, every day having structure like that, it was a bummer. But, yeah. You see. But.

Yeah, I get it. I get it. We could have cut the structure. Do you want to tell them about our walk? Like, I feel like that was like pretty interesting. So we went on a walk and after that. And so on that walk, we talked about, I don't know, this year has been a little different for me in terms of my faith. And I think that it was like the first time I was telling Jordan about it probably, right? Yeah, I would say this particular topic. Yeah, that was the first time I'd heard it. So we were talking about how, or what I was telling him, is how I've been a little confused lately because I've always had this, like, faith where I have been, it's very childlike. Like, it doesn't take a lot for me to kind of dive into, like, the faith portion of our, of my relationship with God.

So, like, I, like, you would tell me, I also grew up in a very charismatic church. And I'm like, you know, you would tell me, like, Danny, I'm healing squirrels on the side of the road. I'd be like, cool. Like, yeah, like, I believe that. Like, and, but for some reason this year, I've been dealing with a little bit more, like, cynicism. Is that how you say it? Yeah. Cynicism.

Yeah, I think that's the right word for it. And a little more hesitancy and not judgment by any means. But I think that, to be honest, I think it's kind of stemmed from meeting other Christian influencers, seeing a lot of people that, like, I have looked up to, like, take a different path. And it just made me kind of like question, like, the things that they were saying the whole time in regards to kind of like their spiritual relationship with God in terms of like, God's communicating to me, speaking to me, I'm praying about this, and I'm like, okay, but like, really? You know, and so it's made me just kind of question a lot, and it's kind of made me feel like maybe sometimes people are abusing, you know, saying that like God spoke to them in ways that maybe

God didn't, and it's making me, and I, you know, I'm, I know I'm not the one to judge, and all I can do is kind of pray for discernment and honestly just give people the benefit of the doubt, but I don't know why it's kind of affected my own relationship with God because I think that at the end of the day, like, I'm so scared that something I say about my relationship with God is fake that I don't even want to say it at all. Yeah. Like who are some, like you were talking to me about like your pastor that you grew up with. So my pastor I grew up with who played a huge role in my faith.

You know, I went to check out his Instagram the other day and he like, I mean, he's now like a motivational speaker and doesn't talk about God at all. And he's written all these books. Like he's kind of like looks like he's trying to get famous. And this guy like had a huge impact in my life. And I'm like, this is so weird. Like was everything that you said still like real? Like why are you doing everything that you were doing for God but not for yourself?

Like that's just so strange to me. Yeah. And I feel like I've met some Christian influencers. Not all of them. Obviously like I was telling you yesterday, I think that my friend, Janine Amipola, like she has a podcast called Happy Healthy Podcast and she is one of the few people that I have met that I know offline and I know online

and I think she is doing such a great job ministering to people online but also like being her authentic self and like what she practices what she preaches. But yeah, I don't know. I've just met a lot of people that don't practice what they preach and it's almost like, you know, they're doing what we're doing for Divi or what we're doing for other brands they're doing for themselves,

but kind of sometimes it seems like they're disguising it in faith and in justifying it because, you know, it's for God, but I feel like they're really doing it for themselves. But like I said, I'm not the one to judge. And like, but it's just been very confusing for me. You know, we were talking about that documentary, the Hillsong documentary, which is so annoying because it has such a liberal agenda and it's like, sorry, but like it's,

does. It does. And it's like... Well, it's like two Vanity Fair reporters that are like very much intent on making it, I would say like a grander conspiracy than it probably like is. And don't get me wrong. It was a scandal. And he cheated on his wife and he's a pastor and he, all these things. And of course, that's not right. But trying, like, there was a lot of things at the beginning of the documentary about how, oh my gosh, can you believe that people volunteer for a church and they're not getting paid? And it's like, well, of course, they volunteer. Like the same. where you can volunteer at a school or any other function. You know, like, oh my gosh, can you believe the church is running a business?

And it's like, of course they're running a business. Like, how do they pay their employees and play their staff and the actual building? So there's some things that I'm just like, okay, come on. Like, you're trying to make something out of nothing. But then obviously there were a lot of things wrong with the church. Like there's things wrong with every single church. I mean, even my church growing up, they locked us in a room whenever I was in second grade and make us speak tongues.

I wouldn't let us speak tongues. What? The light does in a room when we were in second grade and wouldn't let us leave until we spoke tongues in tongues. That's, that's bad. That's crazy. Yeah, I faked it so I could get out. I mean, that's like, that's crazy to me. Like, I'm all about, like, benefit of the doubt, but that's bad, right?

Yeah, there's just, but I thought a lot of. That's like a gift. That's like a spiritual gift. Like, you can't just, like, make someone who doesn't have that gift do it. I was telling JD this yesterday because he, was talking about how we should all pray and like and desire those gifts from god and so um but at the same time i said you know like when you're at praise and worship and and the praise and worship leader you know encourages everyone to speak you know in the spirit which i assume speak you know means

speaking times to me sometimes like because i grew up in a very charismatic church like that like people are slain in the spirit, they're laying on the ground, they're prophesying. What is slain in the spirit mean? They go like, you know when people like go limp and they're like on the ground? Like, you know, have you ever seen like a, they like pray over someone and then push their forehead down and they're just like paralyzed? It's like God takes over your entire body. So all of those things that you saw in your church growing up, do you believe that stuff?

So, wait, wait, I was about to finish a point. What was they saying? Slane in the spirit. Oh, okay. So like growing up, you know, we had every service. You know, people are speaking in tongues. And yes, of course, I always believe it. And I still believe it.

I still believe in all of those spiritual gifts. Do I believe that we all have them? No. But I believe that we all can have them. Like, I don't know. So, oh, I was telling J.D. I feel like sometimes, like, when our lead singer would tell us that, it was, like, equivalent to asking everyone in the room to do the splits.

And I'm like, I'm like, I want to do the splits, and I know how to do the splits, but I can't do the splits. I don't have the splits down. Like, I just, and you're asking all of us do the splits, but not all of us can do the splits. I don't have that gift. And so, but can I acquire it? Like, I desire to acquire it.

Like, I want to be able to do it. Maybe I can get there. Like, I don't know. But that's how it felt sometimes, especially because everyone is a different point in their life. And I think, too, like, I do believe in prophecy. I believe in all that, mainly because the Bible says that it's all true. But when I see an average Joe walk up to someone on the street and start prophesying, I think what I want to know is, like, what does your relationship with God look like?

Like, what does your prayer life look like? Like, what does your faith look like? Like, are you just speaking this because you feel it in the moment? or like, and so I think that through all of these thoughts and maybe just getting older and being in tune a little bit more with like, not reality, but like culture's reality, I just have started to question whether a lot of these things are true. Not everyone. I think there are definitely some, you know, I think there's a lot of truth to what a lot of people say, but I've also just felt like sometimes it's like abused a little bit. But going back to your question, I do believe in all of it.

Yeah. But not every time is kind of like the point. you're trying to make is like like you believe that um spiritual gifts are real that people can prophesy but you think that we were talking about this yesterday sometimes like you feel like people are like oh man like like like i was praying for this and god showed me this like yeah yeah there's like a skepticism or cynicism that you have like did he or like is that just coincidence i feel like that was like our conversation you're justifying what your heart's desires are with saying that god answered a prayer when i think you just really want to you just really want to wanted to move into a million dollar house.

I think that with Christian influencers in particular, I think that this is like what is. It's not just Christian influencers though. It's like just sometimes just Christians. Yeah. Right. But I think that Christian influencers is where we have like it's just so much more public. Right. So like let's say Carl Lentz was like a Christian influencer.

Let's say like other people that we know are like Christian influencers. It's like, you know, we have seen them do the same things that we do on the internet, but like masked and like surrounded by like, oh, well, this is for Jesus, you know. Which it's like, you know, I do believe like what Romans 828, like I do believe even if those people are in it for themselves that God uses everything for people that love him for his good. And so I do believe that no matter what God is sovereign and he's using those messages, in his sovereignty to like reach people. So that's why I'm saying, I don't think that I should be the one to judge.

And I think typically I've always been able to see the bigger picture, but for some reason now, like I'm taking it so much more personal, where it's just, it just makes me question my own faith. It's very vertical. It's not me looking at other people down on other people at all, like horizontally.

It's more like, okay, God, like, what's going on here? Why do you think right now you're taking it more personally? I think, I don't know for whatever, reason why but it's almost like when it's almost like when you have such a like okay you know how like sometimes really really smart people they're too smart that they can't believe in anything right they're just like everything has to have reason and it just doesn't make sense i've never been like that like i could always be like eh who cares about the like i know the truth and i just feel like as i've gotten older and i've heard from more people and seeing more like things go here

south, I've, like, I'm, I'm desiring the clarity more. Like, I'm desiring, like, more, like, reason. And I want to be able to, like, justify a lot of the things that I believe. And I think that's where, like, part of your faith is, there is a lot in Christianity in you that you can't justify. But there is, like, a step of faith, oh, sorry, that you have to take, where you kind of have to cross over and say like I just believe this and I think that um yeah just me trying to seek some of like these this reasoning is causing me to some of that's just like growing up into adults too it's like so much harder when you're not a child to have childlike faith you know like you have so much more responsibility and exactly just like life around you what did you think about like the the

hill song documentary I want to tell you what I thought about the hill song documentary but first. Today's episode of De-Influence is brought to you by Electric Picks. Electric Picks is a female-founded jewelry company. I'm actually wearing two of their necklaces right now, and, sorry, you can't see because one of their bracelets as well. I pretty much only wear electric picks. I even have the earrings on, but I have these headphones on.

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So back to the Hill song documenting. What did you think about it? Can I, like, I am sorry to do this. This is very unprofessional in me. Can I pee? You have to pee? Yes. Okay. Should I just stop recording? No, keep going. Okay. Should I talk about something? Yeah, talk about it. Gosh, I can't believe it was to pee in the middle of this episode. Hi, guys. Oh, I do feel like to one of the reasons that I've been feeling this way in my faith is I think that I haven't done a very good job at kind of sheltering myself from a lot of what I'm seeing on social media or Instagram or even movies, reality TV.

Reality TV can be like so bad, so bad. And I think the reason why it messes with my mind is it makes me want things. or desire things or be interested in things that are honestly just like silly and not life-giving, like not actually going to make you happy. And so I don't know, I feel like getting caught up in some of the Instagram scroll or the TikTok scroll or me Wikipedia and all these things also kind of throws it off. Jordan's back, Tom Holland, shirtless, just kidding. Do you wash your hands every time you pee?

Every time. Even at home? Are you kidding? Of course. It doesn't matter where. Do you think it's different for girls and guys though? I think it's like way, way worse for guys because you guys touch your pee pee pee. But we watch that every morning.

Oh, I can't believe we're having that. I bet you if you pulled your Instagram audience, I would say over half the guys. Probably over 70% of the guys don't wash their hands. That's disgusting. Lambin washes his hands like 15 times a day, but I think he has a problem. No, but I... You know, sometimes... This is a confession.

I'm scared. What? Sometimes if I know that you're home and I go pee and I know that you're in earshot, sometimes I'll just run the sink just to... That is so deceptive. Just so I can not feel judged in my own home. Why don't you just wash grand? It takes two seconds.

I just like honestly, there's something and I will say, okay, if a public restroom has doors, then I will wash my hands every single time. If you know, like in airports, like there's no doors, you just like walk through that hallway to get to the bathroom. If I'm not touching anything in the bathroom except for my own private parts. That's disgusting. That's the reason why you should wash your room. I feel like the sinks in public restrooms are more disgusting than me just not touching anything and walking up. But you're touching yourself. Think about it for girls.

Like we are not even touching ourselves. Nothing, nothing touches. Unless you're in your hand by accident. Nothing touches that thing all day. But that's what's so gross about it is it's in there with all the other things that are in there. Like, that's like, okay, that's like saying, okay, wait, like should I? I wash my shins all day. What are you eating off your shins?

I'm not eating off my pee. Are you picking up, yeah, but you're picking up our children. Okay, but but listen, there's a difference between like I actually, if we go out to a restaurant.

You should just wash your hands too because like it's just gross everything else you're touching throughout the day. Yeah, so if we go to a restaurant like I will wash my hands. Like every time I see a hand sanitizer thing, I'm like, you know what I think is gross.

Yeah. Okay. So your thing is in there. in your pants. There's probably pee and stuff in there. No. Well, it probably drips. No.

I'm very thorough. But like, no, there's just no way. There's no way? No. There's probably things on your peepee. Like, what? I'm saying, like, it's dormant all day. I can't have this conversation.

I'm just saying. Anyway, what did you think about the Hillsong Dock? I already. told you you tell us what you thought did you tell them while i was gone no i talked about it earlier um i thought that it was a really powerful documentary so it was done by i think two vanity fair journalists i don't know if they directed it but they were definitely prevalent throughout it and so they broke the story of carl lynx and um i think that uh hill song church which was started in australia and then you know like came to new york and so carl lynn's was like justin bieber's pastor like saline

Nina Gomez. All these celebrities went to the church. He baptized Justin Bieber. Right. So Carl Lince was like the epitome of like Christian celebrity fame. And a celebrity pastor. A celebrity pastor. And I really respected him and I do respect him now, which I'll explain why.

I really respected him at the time because I was I was really excited that I saw him on Logan Paul's impulsive podcast. I think that he, I didn't watch the interview, you did, so you have some thoughts about it, but I think he carried himself well, but I'm just a big believer that like the church has to engage with culture more. I talk about Jefferson, Bethke a lot. He does that incredibly well. He'll read an Atlantic article and then like give his analysis from like a, like a God-centric gospel lens. And I love when people do that because I think it's really important. So Carl Lince was doing that incredibly well. He was engaging with pop singers and, uh, actors and saying like, hey, here's who Jesus is. He ultimately ended up falling and getting canceled because he had an affair. So he had a wife and like three kids of many years. She was involved in the church. And he just had an affair. And it was a very public affair because the woman he had an affair with went on national television and like shared like details,

like intimate details. And it was just like horrible. Right. And so I loved the documentary because is, and I think this was like unintentional, but I think that what happened from the documentary on the Carl Lentz side, so they talk about two things. Hillsong as a church, which I don't think God is fully reconciled yet. I think he's in the process of reconciling.

And then Carl Lentz, who I do think that God is reconciled in the sense that he had an affair, he was stripped of everything. You know, Justin Bieber unfollowed him. He no longer has celebrity connections, as far as I know. He was removed from the same thing.

stage so all the things that he had clung to and started to love more than the Lord, God was like, hey, no, like, I'm taking all this away because I love you the most. And so what's cool about the documentary is he comes back with his wife and they just talk about their faith now. And so it's much more stripped down. They live a slower life. They live a simple life. But they're seeing how God is like working through repairing their marriage and like through repairing their family. And so I love the documentary because I think it's like actually one of the best depictions of how the gospel works of like, hey, we are sinners. God loves us so much. He saves us. He reconciles us. He restores and repairs. And like if you look at Carl Lince now, I'm like, man, get that guy back on stage. He's like, he is in the best place to preach than anyone else out there because he knows, hey, I'm a sinner and like I need Jesus to save me.

Yeah. So cool. It's kind of like redeemed his relationship with God. not pushed him further way. And he's probably experienced God in a way that a lot of us haven't, being so publicly shamed and hated. And, you know, everyone kind of like turned their backs on you. And still, like, and he's like had to rely on the Lord in a way that he probably never had to. Yeah. And I think a lot of people, when they break like that, they turn their backs.

And they're like, it's too much. I was reading about a lot of pastors. So when I started reading about that one, I did my Wikipedia thing, and I started reading about all these celebrity pastors that have, you know, taken a different path, or they had divorced their wives and married, you know, a stripper or something. No, seriously. No, seriously. It happens. And I think a lot of times, like, when most of the time it starts with an affair, and then they are exposed, and then they're like, all right, I'm done with this. And they move on. And so, so yeah, it's stories like that that are very

encouraging because not every story ends up like that. So it is a cool documentary to see where it's like all this happened yet his wife is ticking around and they're still trying to heal. Yeah. And a very raw and honest way too. Like she's not like she's not like oh my gosh God is good. We love each other so much. Now she's like hey like I am taking the hard path of forgiving my husband and like keeping our family together and here's why it's hard and here's like what I see God doing it. And so it's very like raw. It shows what the gospel really can do and what it's all about. So let me ask you this, because I think that this movie had an impact on you too. So like in the conversation of you being really confused of how this happens of like, you know,

you're a pastor and then you go off on this path, there's like one thing that we talked about, which is like we're human and we're all sinners and we're all going to fall short of the glory of God. But we watched this movie Nefarious. And I feel like, I mean, I haven't asked you this, but I feel like Nefarious had a pretty, profound impact on you. Yeah, I think it's, I think I saw that how much of the confusion or what I'm processing is of the devil. Like, you know, and how real that is and how real the spiritual warfare is. And I think through that movie, if you haven't seen it, I think you can rent it on Apple.

Tell them a little bit about what it's about. It's like, was it Apple 1999? Yeah. You have to buy it. But it's so worth it. It's got 33%. but that's just because people hate Christian movies. Well, yeah, and some of the acting was questionable.

Yeah, I mean, come on, get past it. Every actor was questionable except for the prisoner. I thought he did a pretty good job. He was crazy good. He was really good, but every other actor was like, you know. Yeah, it could have a little Christian actor. Total Christian actors. But yeah, so this movie is about a prisoner on death row who is possessed by a demon.

Or is he? That's the question. It's not like exorcist style like horror movie. Yeah, my mom was like, oh, I can't watch that. I don't like, because I'm the same way. I don't watch anything. Like, I don't watch anything about like demonic things. I just don't want to fill my head with that.

This is different. This was like biblical, you know, everything that this demon or this guy says is like literally from the Bible. So it's like, it's like the real horror. Like, but not, you know, there's not scary jumps or anything like creepy that happens. It is, it is a creepy movie though. I was saying maybe watch it. first and then maybe decide if you want your kids to see it just yet.

But I think the reason why it had such an impact on me is because I just saw how sneaky the devil is. Like, you know, like they say like the devil's in the details. Like he's in every single mishap or misstep or anxiety or thing that like, you know, weighs you down or makes you sad. And so I just saw how present he is in my life. or in everyone's life and every day and in culture and everything. So I don't know.

It was like very eye-opening. I think it was one of those things where I actually woke up that night. I didn't even say this. And I went in the bathroom and I got on my knees and I was praying because I was honestly just like, I was praying more for like a childlike faith again. And I was praying for like protection from all of that because I feel it. Like I feel it in ways that I've never felt before. Yeah.

I'm crying. Yeah, no, it's cool to hear you say that because, sorry, oh my gosh, because I've just, like, felt that for you for a while because it's like, I think that there's such a, like, childlike purity to you and, like, just, like, the way that God has used you in, like, so many, like, people's lives. And I honestly have felt for a while that, like, I do feel like the devil does try and, like, distract you and, like, confuse you and, like, kind of works against you. But I don't think it's because you are evil. I think it's because, like, you're, like, there's so many, like, good things that, you know, come from your life and things like that. And so it's cool to hear you say that. Yeah. I think so.

Let's see. How do we pivot from that? No, I highly recommend you guys check it out. It was pretty eye-opening. And then, yeah, I don't know. Like, I think since I've watched that movie, I've already been able to, you know how like when you start talking about things, you feel like you're talking about them because you're like on the up and up and, like, healing from them.

Yeah. You know, sometimes whenever you're like, really deep in something you don't want to talk about it because you don't feel like you're really going anywhere. Does it make sense? It makes sense but I usually when you say stuff like that you're talking about in the context of like you don't want to talk about it like on Instagram because it really confuses you because then you get a lot of opinions on that or I'm just saying that sometimes I don't want to say things out loud or acknowledge them because I'm like stuck in them and I'm like not even really ready to move out of it because I'm just like I'm stuck in it.

So I felt like when I saw that movie and that night, I kind of had this revelation. And then I was like, okay, I'm going to talk about this because I feel the goodness of God now. And I know that things are going to be on the up and up. So there's nothing to be scared about. It's almost like when you don't feel like God's presence, you like feel like so dark. You're like in this vicious cycle of just like feeding the darkness. Yeah. And so I was like, I'm going to talk about it.

And I just feel like even after I started talking about it, I found this like freedom in it. then also I've found that I'm able to acknowledge God's presence or goodness more in my life like every day. Like, um, like silly things like with nature. Oh my gosh. Danny had like an existential crisis when she saw a giraffe at the zoo. It's beautiful. If you really think about it.

These creatures are so gorgeous. If you, if you watched on stories, I don't even think I posted the entire clip, but it was like, Because I stopped our guide. Yeah. And all of a sudden, it was like, we're with our kids. And I'm like, oh, man, that's a cool looking animal. That's a giraffe. And Danny's like, hey, can you stop for a second?

I said, can I ask you a personal question? You did. To the guy. To the guy. I said, do you? I said, you work here. You see all this every day. Do you believe in a creator?

He was like. He goes, interesting. question. Well, I don't want to offend anyone. I was like, no, no, no, I'm not trying to like pinhole you or like, I'm genuinely curious. You work with the craziest species every single day that like you have to admit like you think about these animals, drafts, monkeys, elephants, like you even see butterflies, lions, iguanas. Like you can't possibly think that a god did not create all these things. Yeah. And for them to be like this intricate, like even the way he was describing the elephant's tail.

The elephant's tail, okay, has these, like, really harsh, like, textured hairs that act as toilet paper, okay? That clean their butts. Like, you can't tell me that God didn't create that. Like, it was honestly the elephant's tail's hair that really got me. I was like, you cannot tell me that that was not created perfectly in, like, by God. People are like, Danny, so how did you, like, what was the moment you came to believe in Jesus?

And you were like, have you ever hurt? I know, I know. I'm kidding. But it's like, they're like, can you tell us your testimony? And you're like, well, have you ever heard of an elephant's tail? It acts as toilet paper. Literally, like these ecosystems and all these things. And then, you know, same thing.

Like, I don't know what it is, but I was doing a trial hall in my office and a butterfly landed on my window seal. And like, I know this is so, sounds so stupid and cliche. But like it was just sitting there like fluttering. It's little tail or it's little it's little wings. And I'm like, hello butterfly. I was like, you are so beautiful. And like in that moment I was like, dude, like if I doubt anything, like look at this butterfly on my window seal. It is so freaking gorgeous.

Like God had to have created this. Man, just this is why we need to go on a cruise for America tour. Because the way that you are seeing God in nature, we need to get you up in. The Rockies. Oh my gosh. It's just, it's wild to me. Like, you just can't deny it. And if, you know, and if there's good, there's also evil.

And I think that's why that nefarious movie was so freaky to me. What's cool is that, so before all of these, I would say, like, epiphanies or revelations, we were walking in Miami after Nobu. And this is like the first time you had told me about sort of like what you're feeling is like. I was like, is it coincidence or is it God? Right. So it'd be like, for example, like Danny's seeing a butterfly. And like some people would be like, oh my gosh, like I saw. Or people would be like, oh, we got to get the exterminator out here.

Yeah. Well, you would be like, like, I think you would start to feel cynical when people would see like a butterfly and be like my great grandfather loved butterflies. And like he was coming to visit me. And you'd be like, okay. I'm like, dude, it's butterfly season. Right. And so like the coldness or the hardness of Danny's heart was like, no, like there's no meaning in

this. And like in our conversation, we were talking about like, okay, is it coincidence or is it God? And no joke, we were walking along this, like along the shore. And it was like in a place of Miami where all these like major yachts were. And I don't remember the exact line, but I feel like you had said, I'm just struggling because I don't know what is like divine like and from God and what is just coincidence. And then you looked over and you go, oh, that's funny. Like, Look at that boat's name and it was called, it was God's plan. And all these like other boats were like, you know, like, Tudy fruity.

Tudy fruity. Hunk in my booty. Hunk in my booty. And then it was like a boat, like a major yacht called God's plan. And I go, oh my gosh. See, like that's like God speaking to you that like there's a plan here. Like he's with you. And I go, no, it's coincidence.

But I feel like if that moment would have happened today, you would have maybe felt different. Yeah. I mean, I just think that, like I said, I feel like God is also in all the details. J.D. was telling me this yesterday, and he was like, like, God knows how many hairs are on your head. Like, he was like, who loves you the most in this world? And I was like, probably Jordan. He was like, does he love you so much that he would sit down and count all of the hairs on your head? No. And I was like, sorry.

No. There's lines. And if God, like, is in that amount of detail, like, why would he not be in like the every single detail of your life? of like there are like basically there are no coincidences like god is just in in the details what's cool about y'all's conversation because i was listening in on it was uh he was talking about so much of it is just like a matter of perspective too like you can you can look at that boat in miami and be like oh like that's just a funny name we're having this conversation that's not god and my argument to you in miami before all this was like like what do you have to lose in believing that like

every detail, like, matters towards something. And, and J.D. was talking about, like, you know, so much of it is, like, if you open your eyes to, like, what God is trying to show you in your life, like, there's a whole new perspective that you could see. It's like, oh, the butterfly is like, like, what is this, you know, trying to say to me and stuff? Well, and to it, it, and I've always lived, that's why I'm telling you, this is like, I was telling him, It's similar to when you have a baby and you kind of just like forget all of like how hard it was the delivery, you know? Like I'm kind of in that state with my faith because this is how it used to be for me. But like, should I just lost my chance.

No, no, no, no. Come back. Spiritual warfare. What did you just say? I said so much of it is like a matter of perspective. Matter perspective. Oh, so I was thinking about how, you know, even last year or the year before, the year before. where I have been able to see most of what life throws at me as an opportunity.

Like, it's something that I'm able to look forward to for the most part because I feel like it's something that God put into my life. And if I look at it that way, then I see a trip to L.A. or a podcast interview or a Forbes opportunity. Like, I remember that Forbes interview. I saw that instead of thinking, oh my gosh like what are they going to say about me or what you know this is prior to the actual interview because we know the interview was really hard yeah but I saw it as an opportunity because I I remember thinking I don't know if I want people to know uh or associate me with these

numbers you know like remember we questioned whether we should do it or not yeah like we didn't want your like our entire identity to be staked on that but then I was like okay god brought this opportunity it's it's it's it's it's it's it is a it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is a an opportunity. There could be some like people's lives that are touched like maybe God can use me in some way. And I think when you think of things like that, then you have less anxiety and probably less depression because not everything is so inward. It's more outward. You're like more thinking about like what what does God want me to do at this interview or what is God's will for me at this photo shoot or you know I'm just a tool like god how are you going to use me and it's like

not so much about Danny it's like how I'm going to be used for him you know and um and I just felt like this year I've been things have felt so inward they felt so like personal because I'm not seeing it that way anymore and I think whenever I think that's also a really scary place to be because I think that's what leads to even more anxiety and depression because you make it so much about yourself. Yeah. It's like, I'm going to this lunch today with my dad. And one of my old, not the pastor, I was talking about, but an old pastor from my old

church. And it's like, this lunch, I could either think, what am I going to wear? What are they going to think about me? What am I going to talk about? Are they going to like me? Or I could think, okay, I'm going to this lunch. What, like, God, what, why am I going to this lunch? How am I going to serve you?

Like, what's the meaning of this lunch? What am I going to take, what, how am I going to take, what, how am I going to to help, you know, my pastor's mission and what he's trying to accomplish. And it's like, gives you more of, like, a purpose outside of yourself, which makes you feel as anxious because then you don't feel like it's so much about, like, people liking you. I mean, amen. Mic drop. So anyway, I think that that's another, just, you know, going off the depression thing.

I think that's why you see so many people, like, on antidepressants we're going through, or a lot of famous people that are depressed. I was talking about this on my walk run the other day, but, you know, it's like you have so many people that are worshipping you and it's all about you all the time, whether it's on social media, not just celebrities, but it's like our everyday people. It's all about the content that you're creating. Everything is about you. It's all about consuming for you. And it serves no purpose. So then you just feel purposeless, therefore you feel depressed. Yeah. I think I mentioned this in the last podcast but like I feel like coming into 2023 like I was really burnt out and that was like what

was really hard for me and like social media and like what we do is that I just it was like I just didn't want to I didn't really want to focus on like like us anymore like I needed a almost like a recalibration of the purpose of what we do in so many ways and yeah I don't know I'm really excited about the next era of our family with these revelations. Like I think like you and I are so on the same page on, you know, like where we go from here, or not where we go from here, but like what the recalibration of the heart is. And I'm excited. Me too. Well, um, we actually had one more segment, but I don't think we have time because my dad is actually downstairs. We're about to go to this lunch and he's been waiting for me. We're like 20 minutes late. Oh my gosh. I was going to talk about

singing of Forbes some of like my favorite celebrities that made the list but let's not let's save it okay we'll save it for stories or something that also would be really funny to do a faith segment and then America's richest

self-made women it's interesting it is interesting but thank you guys for listening we would love for you guys to leave a review on Spotify or Apple or leave us some comments in the YouTube video

down below we'll be back with you guys next week and thank you guys for listening Bye, bye. Bye.