De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan - Our Biggest Purchase Yet + Dating In Your 30s

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

Any De-Influencers in the HOUSE!? When we tell you this episode may be the most random yet our most favorite episode of all time...we mean it. From our biggest purchase, to traumatic hamster stories, to taking our top off (??) This episode is sure to keep you entertained all. week. long. Share with your friends, leave a review, and be sure to respond to the question box below to enter our Christmas wishlist giveaway! -We worked out a special offer for my audience. Receive 15% off your first order. Go to tryarmra.com/DANI or enter DANI to get 15% off your first order. -Visit betterhelp.com/deinfluenced to get 10% off your first month. 

Hello and welcome back to your favorite podcast. D-influence. And happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Was it always a plan that I was going to be a co-host on this show? I was just thinking about it. I couldn't remember. No, not really. I just kind of like some stayed.

I've overstayed my welcome. That's the thing about me and you. We just kind of roll with it, though. We do kind of roll with it. How's your Thanksgiving week break been? R. Or yes, ours. It was good.

I would give it a solid like a, a minus. Really, I was thinking you'd give it like a one out of ten, but okay. A minus, yeah. Yeah, A minus. Yeah, what made it the minus? Food was good. Yeah. Kids were so happy.

Family was good. Minimal conflict. Minimal, not zero, minimal. We only had one fight with the family. One fight. It was a little tiff at the dinner table, which made it awkward. It was me. And it was you.

I would give it an a minus because what I was looking forward to the most was seeing Napoleon. Yeah, you were really excited about that. Really excited about it. Totally sucked. There's just no better way to say it. I wouldn't say it sucked. First of all, we also went with Landon and Olivia, who Olivia, y'all know, is my brother's girlfriend. I don't know.

I think she might be, like, the one. We absolutely love her. But she's also like, you know, she hasn't seen a lot of movies in her time. We talked about this. She's more of like a Disney original, original Disney movie girl. But not even that. She's like not seen a movie. Like she hasn't seen any movies.

Like I was like, were you homeschooled? We're like, what did you do growing up? She's like, I don't know. I played outside. We're like, oh, wow. Landa goes, she grew up on a farm. She was like, no, I did it. I was like, so did Jordan.

I grew up in Rockwell, Texas. Literally 20 minutes outside of the city. Anyway, so we took her to go see Napoleon, and this is not the most friendly, happy, go lucky movie. The starting scene, can we tell them what happens? Well, it's just, it's historical fact. Yeah. In the starting scene, there is a beheading. And do you want to tell them about your interesting fact?

Oh, I have five of them. Okay. So here's why you shouldn't see Napoleon, because I'm going to tell you five interesting facts about Napoleon. Number one, you know how I get upset about like your shopping habits? Yeah. Because you know I get a text every time you use the credit card. How come I don't get a text every time you use the credit card? You can have them if you want them.

But anyway, I think that you just have a little, like you don't spend a lot of money, but you have these like weird kind of impulses. It's like 12 o'clock at night. It was Black Friday. Abercrombie. Anyway, Josephine, who's a big character in the movie, big part of Napoleon's life, Um, she bought up to 900 dresses per year. And let me just put this in perspective for you.

Marie Antoinette, which is, isn't that the one Palace of Versailles got guillotine? Yeah, that's the one that got the, because of her extravagant spending said, Let them eat cake. Exactly. She bought 170 a year. So Josephine be shopping. Oh, girl. Yeah.

So that's fact number one. Number two. And they showed this really well in the movie. Napoleon always insisted on having a fire lit and had loved really hot baths. Okay. So kind of not an interesting fact, but here's why. He had horrible hemorrhoids. Ooh.

Had those before. Not fun. Let me tell you. Crient zeal did to you. Yeah. So even the grates can have hemorrhoids is the fact. Number three, he was a workaholic and he would only sleep about three or four hours a night. See, that can't be healthy for you.

No. I mean, I don't think he was like, as a healthy guy. Yeah, he wasn't known as like the nicest guy anyway. Last interesting fact about him, and then I'll get into the guillotine. He had alloraphobia. Huh. So he's not, he was a very courageous, fearless leader.

They show this a lot in the movie. He charged into battles with his troops, which is why he had so much loyalty among his troops. Guy had a fear of cats. Really? I was scared of cats. I feel like I do too, though. Well, yeah, I mean, but you're going to charge into battle on,

horseback into cannonball fire and you're scared of a cat. And what I think is the most interesting thing about him is they always say like Napoleon syndrome like little man syndrome because he was like a little man that, you know, you know, he needed like his ego to make him feel better. Well, he was 5'7. Yeah, it wasn't that little. I'm like 5'6. But anyway, the guillotine was a big part.

So they put Marie Antoinette under the guillotine on the very first scene. But the most interesting fact. Which a guillotine is like the big. big razor that comes down and cuts your head off. So that's what they used to do a lot of beheadings back in like the 1700s. Yeah. And during the French Revolution, it was like a symbol of like, send them to the guillotine. Is this a history channel question mark?

Well, I'm just giving facts here. I'm giving all the facts that this movie should have given you. And it just was totally a bomb. Anyway, the craziest thing about the guillotine, Landon told me this. I got to give them credit for it. Yeah. They thought it was like a very humane way to kill someone. Did they?

They thought it was humane. They designed it to be a more humane way to kill someone, but then they like started studying it. And it's believed that your consciousness, like you're alive for like seven seconds after your head gets cut off. Lana was saying that they've done studies. And even after your head is cut off, and they're like holding up your head in front of everyone.

And they see people blinking. They see people blinking and they like your brain still shows brain activity and brain waves. Wow. What a way to go. What a start. Yeah. Let us start.

I'm just, I'm really hooked now. It was three hours. I was really excited to go with you because you're a huge history buff. Most people don't know that about you. Yes, yes, I am. She's probably seen every World War II documentary that exists.

True. She reads history books. She loves historical fiction. Facts. Only thing is I can't remember any of the facts. No, that's not true. You remember a lot.

Oh, I did remember. Remember we just did a trivia game the other night and they asked which country was invaded first in World War II and I said Poland and I got it right. Yes, that was the one question. I know 80% of the room got it right, but so do I. Just saying. But anyway, I took you and yeah, I would just give it a solid like probably C plus. We have been watching a lot of Grinch though. So it was nice to kind of change it off a little bit because our kids, if you have toddlers, let me just tell you, they'd like to watch the same movie over and over and over again. Oh my gosh, yes. It's truly exhausting. But yeah, we had a great Thanksgiving.

I did some Black Friday shopping. I stocked some of my friends on friends, you know, because I like to know where everybody's shopping. It's like a new like strategy of mine. Really? Yeah, so I checked in on Black Friday. I was like, where all my girls at?

Like on Find My Friends? Yeah, which I am actually extremely offended that you've never asked to follow me and you never offered for me to follow you because like I also realized that all my friends follow each other and like no one ever asked me to follow me. Tea time. You actually are upset that I've never asked you to, like, asked to follow you.

Wouldn't that be a little possessive? No, I want you to care where I am. Like, what if I'm, like, dead on the side of the road and you would never know? Okay, babe, no offense, you never leave the house. I can count on one hand the time, the times that you've left the house in the past three weeks. I left yesterday. With me. We're attached to the hip.

I know where you are almost at all times. is very rare in the history of our marriage that I've been like, hmm, I wonder where Danny is. It's probably happened like three times and it's because you were mad at me and you were like, we're like, I'm going to show him. You probably went to Starbucks. This is true or Target. I kind of have like my four places. I do leave the house. I could probably guess when you're mad at me where you are and show up there and you'll be there. One thing about me is like, I don't like to change it up too much. Well, you've never also asked me like where I am at. I'm actually kind of like a, I'm a wild card. I'm all over the place.

I know. You never know where I could be. I know. I kind of like the mystery. Yeah. You know. It is funny, though, even when I'm out of the house, like you never, you're never like, oh, where were you?

I know. I just, because I trust you so much. No, I mean, and to be honest, like, if you were, like, okay, how many times at the gym, if ever, have you been hit on? Or, like, girls kind of like, maybe look you up and down a little bit. Totally. I'm being dead a honest, zero. unless I am completely oblivious, which is quite possible because I never grew up with that type of attention.

I don't think it happens. I'm going to be totally honest. But here's a fact. I would say that if you worked out at a gym, I would feel kind of insecure. No, let me tell you where you need to feel insecure. Oh gosh. So this happens. No, this is actually a really funny story. When I went to Palm Springs for LA's birthday, remember how early that first flight? I mean, I think it was like 8 a.m., but I got there super early. And so all the girls are texting, and we're all trying to figure out, like, where to meet at the gate.

And it's like 7 o'clock in the morning. Are you about 70's story where you got hit on? No, just listen. Just wait. I don't know if I can continue this podcast. I'm already raging right now. Just wait. Okay, so I'm like texting the girls.

I'm like, where do we meet? And Ellie's like, I'm in the Admiral's Lounge, but I could only take one friend. So like, we'll meet at the gate. And then I'm like texting everybody else. I can't find everyone. So I'm like, you know what? Screw this.

I'm going to. What's the lounge we get to go to? Centurion Lounge. A Centurion Lounge. So I had to take a little train to get there, but I was like, screw it. I have like an hour and a half. Like, I'm going to go.

And so I go and I go with myself. But to throw this coffee come in the wall, be like, who is he? So I get there and I'm by myself and I go eat breakfast by myself and I see this man on his laptop and he has like those like hipster glasses, you know. And like he's giving like, he's giving like nerd vibes, you know, but like. You love them too. That's how I won. That's how I won. No, so I go, I eat my breakfast and I go to the bathroom.

I'm leaving the bathroom. And as I'm leaving the bathroom, he stops and he's like, hey, where are you headed? And so I know, like, what's happening. No, but when he stops me, I literally do like a double take, like, like, surely he's not talking to me. Like, it was the least cool response or reaction. I'm like, like, I'm like, me? Yeah. It was not cool at all.

And I'm like, oh, I'm heading on a girl's trip. Like, you know, and I just walk away. Like, I don't even know how to handle the situation. Yeah. Anyway, it was, that was my one time. Well, let's run it back. What would you do differently next time? I don't know why I'm telling you this.

You know, there's a, now that we're like unearthing trauma, there was this one time, I don't know if you remember this. There was this one time, I think we were like coming out of college, okay? And we landed in Cabo. I can't remember why we were in Cabo. And you had taken a flight before me. And so I couldn't find you. And so I was like, oh, my gosh.

And your phone was working. You weren't answering. And we go out to the bar outside of the Cabo airport, like the Bahama, not Bahama Bucks, whatever it is. And you were talking to some frat dude. Oh, yeah, I do remember this. You remember this? Yeah.

I was so angry at you because, like, from a visible standpoint. I was talking to, like, four guys. worse. No, but like they were like a friend group and they were like, where are you headed? And like they were just like and I was like, oh, wait for my boyfriend. Yeah. You know what? I kind of changed my whole. Oh, yeah. Well, I went to a therapy session yesterday. Yeah. You know, it was like this big, it's what I asked for. You want to tell them what I asked for for Christmas? Jordan asked for me to go to therapy. Essentially. No, that's not. He said for my birthday and for Christmas. Christmas combined.

Will you please go to therapy session? No, it's not a therapy session. It's a marriage intensive. And basically it's like, you know, it's this group. They're kind of known in like the church world. A couple people in our industry has gone through it. And basically what they do is they will do a deep dive with the husband, a deep dive with the wife.

They force the husband and wife to go backwards individually. Like, let's analyze your past. Like, why do you, where are some of your hardwirings? Why are you thinking like this? And then the whole purpose of it is you come back together for like a, you know, four hour session and you plot where you want you and your family to go on a united front for the next like three to five years or a year, whatever timeline you decide. And so I feel like we're in a really big like transition year, you know, where it's like just so many things are changing about our lives like with our kids and everything. And I was like, Danny, I just want for my birthday or Christmas for us to like go into 2024. Do it together.

Yeah, doing it together and knowing what we both want. want moving forward and then allocating our focus and our attention exactly where it needs to go, whether that's more family, more work, whatever it is. And so I did my deep dive yesterday and we just went backwards. Yeah. And I mean, what did you learn about yourself? Did you go back to your childhood? You know, they say like your childhood, it really shapes who you are. 100%. It's a deep rooted reason why we are the way that we are. You know, the hardest question was the first question. He goes, like, what's your first memory? And, what's your first memory? Let's hear it. I just say it unless it's bad no it's not bad it's not bad at all like I just it's just random it's like

it's like I remember sitting in my home in Rockwall it was before Luke was born and there's like a little play table in the living room very similar like how Stella plays and you know my parents were sitting on a couch we were all just watching TV and he said hmm interesting why do you remember that and I was like I just remember it as a time where I felt I felt very safe and I felt And then Luke came in and was like, oh, I didn't get it. I felt very happy. And it was like that for every time, like, you know, every, because we did this, this exercise called the turning points exercise, which is like trying to pinpoint different

moments in your past that put you on a different trajectory, either emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, whatever. And the moments were so random for me. It was like my, me at a talent show in first grade thinking my dad wasn't going to come. to show up to the talent show because he was at work and then he shows up and like how happy I felt. The best feeling when your parents showed up to school. Yeah.

And then there were, I mean, there were a lot of negative ones I won't talk about, but it's like. So was the Cabo Bar one of your turning points? No, not at all. No, but one of my turning points was marrying you. Good or bad. No, great. I said, I told Eric is his name. I told Eric, I said, listen, I said, there is no.

no amount of like because like I think I grew up with a lot of self-esteem issues and I told them that one of my biggest turning points, you know, through like age 23 or 24 when I met you was like when I met you, I told him that I feel like you have taught me every bit of mental fortitude, grit, you know, you taught me how to like not take life so seriously. You kind of got me over myself in so many ways. And I was like, that's all Danny. I had nothing, I had nothing bad to say about you. I appreciate that. Other than that Cabo Bar experience.

And now this freaking loser at the Centurion Lounge. Speaking of going backwards, we made a boo-boo with our people. We teased something on Instagram stories like months ago and then totally left people hanging. Do you remember? We shared what the biggest purchase of our lives was. We're like, guys, we made the biggest purchase of our lives. And then it was like. Like in a bank office.

Yeah, we're like in a bank office like in this like big round table like signing away our lives and then just like blank. Well, guys, we are here to tell you guys what purchase we made. You want to tell them our update? Yeah, it's sorry. It's like so anticlimactic now. I mean for me, you know, but it's like I know it's like a new announcement. It's actually a really big deal.

It's a huge deal. You're right. We bought a office building. I'd call it building, but yeah. We actually bought a building, like, not even, like, an office. Like, it's an actual real building. And it's cool. It's like a cool building.

It's like Divi's new HQ. Like, if you told me, Danny, in your 30s, you're going to buy an office building, I'd have been like, nah. Nah. Yeah. No, we bought an office building, and it's two stories. And right now, we are kind of renovating the first floor. We hired this, like, really cool company that does. I don't know, like, what kind of spaces?

Like commercial office spaces. Yeah, commercial office spaces. And we're on our second rendition of designs with them. And it's like pretty sweet. Yeah. It's like a really, it is, for me, it feels like a very like monumental shift. Like it's like we were in this like little historical home and then we like graduated to this like big, you know, HQ. It speaks a lot to like divvy success.

It's really cool. Yeah. I think why it's hard for me to like park on this one is like so many cool things that are going to come in 2020 for happened since then. Like we haven't said that. Yeah, we're excited about that. And then the Danny Austin team, which has about like four full time people and then a couple of contractors that are basically full time. They moved into the divvy house. So the divvy house is like a historical home.

It is so precious. It's so cute. The only issue was like we had like 25 employees working out of like it's a house. Yeah, it's like one bathroom. And had like one bathroom and like three bedrooms. And it was just not conducive for that size of a team anymore. But the nice thing is we're now using it for my team. And so maybe one day we'll do like our podcast studio out of there.

It's just like it's the cutest little house. Which big move. I mean, yes, your team moved out of our our playroom into the, an office space. I know. I know. It's bittersweet. It's bittersweet. They're still here sometimes.

I don't love it. them being gone. Really? Yeah. So we're like three weeks in. That's your hot take? Jordan, like, loves it. He's like,

it's time to walk around with the underwear. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. We all know this time of year can be a lot and its natural feel, some sadness or anxiety about it. I often get overwhelmed by the holiday season knowing how much there is to do, especially as a mother of two. Decorating the house, making sure the holiday season is magical for your kids,

buying gifts for friends and family, hosting and attending events and just being. being with your extended family. Adding something new and positive to your life can counteract some of those feelings. Therapy can be a bright spot amid all of the stress and change, something to look forward to to, to make you feel grounded and to give you the tools to manage everything going on. As you all know, Jordan and I are big proponents of therapy. We have benefited greatly from seeing a therapist and even though it's hard sometimes, we know it's good for us. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. Even though it's one of the busier seasons you

could be thinking, how will I make time for that? But that's exactly why you should. Carve out the time and focus on yourself even for just one hour a week. It pays dividends. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Find your bright spot this season with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash de-influenced today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash de-influenced. As you all know, I've been on a little bit of a health journey. It's still me. I'm still the girl who loves her chick-fil-A and diet coax with two lime. But as I get older, I've started to take an interest in learning more about nutrition, especially with deciding how to feed and raise my kiddos. I also have had an interest in

science. I minored in chemistry in college, so I really do love learning about the body and ingredients and products on the market. I've been doing a ton of research on colostrum. I really do mean research, like taking notes, pen to paper, and reading testimonies and articles about it. I found Armra, and this brand is incredible. Here are some things I learned. Armour Colostrum fortifies gut health and ignites metabolism. What that means is Armour Colossium naturally fortifies your entire gut wall system, replenishing your microbiome, repairing the gut wall architecture, and blocking irritants that can trigger symptoms like bloating, constipation, and IBS. It enhances nutrient absorption, stabilizes blood,

sugar levels and accelerates fat burning for a revved metabolism. One of the best parts about it is it's so easy. You add the powder to your water. I actually did this morning and I chug it like I'm back in college. Go kai Omega. Or any cold beverage and it tastes pretty good. I worked with them on getting y'all code to receive 15% off your first order. Go to tryarmor.com slash janny or enter dany to get 15% off your first order.

That's triarma.com slash jani. Fun fact, I did listen to a podcast from the founder of Arma. camera and she talks about how colostrum blocks like the little holes in your gut that lead to inflammation and inflammation is the reason why like a lot of these things happen whether it's like um you know stress hair loss bloating whatever and so colostrum gets in there and actually like builds this like gut barrier and that's why it's it's helping so much because like i'm not going to lie like whenever i first read about it and heard about it was like this is so freaking gimmicky like i'm not buying this and now I'm just sold because I like you know me I like the facts yeah I need to know

the science you're a scientific girly so for this week we have a segment called things that make you go hmm and we have three interesting stories for you guys this week starting out with one of my favorite places in the world Disneyland they say that Disneyland is a place where you can you know it's magical you can be anything that you want to be and this man decided that he wanted to be a streaker for the day. At Disney World? Disneyland. At Disneyland?

Yes. You know, I recently took Stella to Disney World. You would never see this behavior at Disney World. It's Californians. Just kidding. That's honestly true. Okay, so we're going to watch this video. Both of us have never seen it.

But it looks like these people are on, it's a small world, the ride. Oh, he's wearing his underwear. He's not streaking. If you're listening on Spotify, you might want to pull up your video. video for this. He's wearing underwear.

He's fine. At least he's covering the junk. It looks like he just kind of got out of his little boat and he's just chilling with the characters. He's just living his dream. They're worried he's going to break all of the

I think he's not well. He's on drugs. No, I think he's just exploring. No, he's on bath salts. Maybe it was a truth or dare. I wonder if If he, two options for me. One, he was on bas salts.

Two. I don't know what bath salts are. It's that drug that like, like people got really crazy with in the 2000s. They would like start eating their own fingers and stuff. Oh, yeah. Remember the horrific story was that that guy like became a vampire and like ate the other guy's face. I don't remember this. Yeah.

It was the talk of the town in Rockwall. It didn't happen in Rockwall. but we were all like, whoa. Was this like the onion article? This is like the time that my mom sent me an article about a haunted house in Texas and how children were getting eaten alive. Every time like some kid would like rage because of like 14 year old hormones in high school or like beat someone up.

We would be like, he's probably on basaltz. Or two, theory number two is he lost his fantasy football league. Yeah, that could. But that doesn't make sense because the league's not over. Hmm he's on basalts Okay so there is another video Because right now I mean from what I've seen It's pretty

I thought the impression was he was going to be totally What is it butt or buck naked or are they interchangeable Totally nude No I know but like is it butt naked or buck naked I always say butt naked but I heard recently it's buck naked Which is so interesting I wonder why it's buck naked Like a buck Yeah but like

You should know you grew up on a farm I did not I grew up five minutes outside of the city limits. Okay, let's, oh, okay, wait, I'm seeing some tush. Oh, so he goes. I'm seeing some tushy here. We love a good tushy moment.

This took it from a fun misdemeanor moment for me to lock this guy in prison for the rest of his life. So it appears that he. Corporal punishment. There is like a tunnel or a moat or something and now they're on the outside of the building. Uh-huh. And he just dumped it. the water and he's on the outside now. Oh my gosh.

This, yeah, this guy. He's giving Timothy Shalomey. Babe, can we not endorse this type of behavior around our children? Oh, look, they got him. He's buck naked. He was handcuffed and carried out naked. Did you get a good look at his pupils? You got a good look at something else, didn't you?

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Yeah, I mean, I know this, I know this blew up on TikTok, but I will just say that giving this guy one ounce of fame and recognition for his repulsive. It's exactly what he wants. Repungent behavior is criminal in and of itself. I'm not going to lie. It makes a good story. Babe, there are children.

Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. This is the future of America. I'm sorry. So basically, this guy streaking at Disneyland was either a Fiji. on bath salts or lost his fantasy football league, which is unlikely. What would you do if you were in the situation with our kids? Honestly, when I was watching the video, it creates such a visceral reaction in me that as long as

Stella was strapped in and safe, I might be the hero that goes after and tackles this guy. I really do feel like that. I don't know in the moment if I would react like that, but right now watching the video, like that is my response. Yes. Emotionally. Yes. And I've been learning to control my emotions, but in this case, I feel like it's actually

like a righteous anger that should be deployed for the good of humanity. Which it sounds just like you, because do you know how many times when we were dating that there would be a fight going off like in the corner of the room? Like, because, you know, just being in Austin downtown and Jordan would be like, hold my beer. I'm going to go over. I'm like, babe, you're literally a fourth of those guys as size. But my strategy was so different.

Like I wasn't going to like break them up physically. I was going to like stand in the middle and be like, guys, whoa. Let's talk this out. Let's talk this out. And I really did believe that my rationality could like surpass someone's rage. And I think that that was a pretty naive take. I love that about you. Makes you go, hmm.

What's another thing that makes this go? Well, this is actually relevant for anyone. that had a hamster or knew of someone that had a hamster. Did you have a hamster growing up? No, I had a turtle. Well, you would. That tells a lot. That tells a lot about a person.

I found him in the pond, two doors down, but I had to get rid of him. So you took him away from nature? Oh, my gosh. It was either that or. Save the turtles. An F4 was going to run that sucker over. And I raised him for probably three weeks, fed him lettuce. He smelled so bad, though, I had to get rid of him.

Oh, God. You put him back in the pond. Yeah, it said you're on your own bud. That's horrible. Did you know that hamsters hibernate? Like bears? Yeah. Wow.

Did you know that? No. You'd think that like the people at Petco would tell us these things before we buy a hamster. It's going around that hamsters hibernate and appear to be dead. So a lot of people have potentially buried their hamsters alive. According to an article, a hibernating hamster will appear to be a star. sleep or even dead. They will be cool to the touch and may feel limp or stiff. They will not eat, drink, or eliminate. There may be no visible heartbeat or respiration. A hamster's ideal temperature

range is 65 to 75 degrees Fahrenheit. If the temperature falls below the range of in 24 hours, some hamsters will enter torpor. Okay, let me ask you something. To get them out of hibernation, they have to be in a temperature of 66 degrees Fahrenheit or higher for 24 hours. Okay, so let's get this straight. What's happening here is it's winter. You have a hamster. It's below 66 degrees, which is definitely how my parents cut the house. It was freaking frigid in my house.

I hated staying there. And so you walk in, your hamster's limp. No signs of respiratory action at all activity. And so you have a funeral for your dead hamster, put the little hamster in a box, bury him in the backyard. And then like a week later, hamster wakes up. It's like, gah, he's like, give me out of his books. Let me out.

It's horrible. Let me ask you something. Your hamster's hibernating. You bury your hamster alive. Is it murder? 1,000%. That's murder? Yes, and you need to ask for forgiveness.

Honestly, I don't know. Because the vital signs are all pointing to one thing. Death. Death. And if you're eight years old, you barely know how to check your pulse. Oh, it's so horrible. If you think about it, it's like, little cookie was actually just sleeping and you you buried her alive but aren't there like i'm sorry i don't

know much about hamster owners but like i feel like everyone has like a traumatic hamster like story about their hamster dying like you don't even people are saying we all have i have a traumatic hamster story what's yours so i didn't have a hamster my mom wouldn't let me thank god no my friend kendall kindle kindal kindal kentel kars had a hamster growing up and she was in love with this hamster. I want to say that hamster's name was actually cookie. I think that's where I got that from. But I'm not 100% sure.

One day, we're at Kendall's house playing, and we look in the pool, and there's a little cookie. Drowned. And like by herself, or was she in one of those little balls? I remember, I think she was in the ball. She loved that little ball. She just loved that little ball. She just rolled around.

But hey, we. She rolled right out the doggy door. and she's rolled herself straight into the pool. It's true. But she died doing what she loves. Yeah, at least she got off the hamster wheel. That was good. That made me go.

Hmm. Now we're going to talk about something juicy, real juicy. Dating in your 30s. There's a lot. I have quite a few friends that are dating in their 30s. There is a theory. It's called the sane, sexy single theory. theory and in your 30s, basically the theory is that you cannot have all three. So if you find someone

that is sane and sexy, they're usually not single. They're married. They're married. If you find someone that is single and sexy, they're typically not sane. If you find someone that's sane and single, they're probably not sexy. Do you feel like this is something that like our friends are struggling with? Or is this like a new thing or has it always been this way? This is tough. Our friends are married. I think that, so here's what I hear. Okay.

Here's the crisis in America. We need to have more babies. No, we really do. And maybe it's just the echo chamber I'm in, but sperm counts are down. Testosterone levels are dropping. And there's a consumer culture around dating. I feel like a lot of people would get this hot take.

Consumer culture around dating, explain. Okay. I think that a lot of guys in their 20s approach dating. as a consumer culture. Yeah, because they have so many options. And now you just swipe left. It's like Netflix. It's like swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, try it before you buy it.

Optionality. And it's creating a crisis where these guys are very non-committal, whereas I feel like the females are like, hey, like I really want a husband. And they get pummeled by these guys. Like they fall in love. They're like, man, he's a great guy. But the guys, like in Dallas, for example, there's more males to females. And I feel like it just wrecks these girls.

I see it a dibby all the time. There's more females to males in Dallas. There's more females to males in Dallas, and it's just like wrecking these girls. And so what's happening is like, I feel like they get to their 30s, both classes of people, like guys and girls, and then it creates the single sane, sexy crisis.

So then what do they do? Like, what do you recommend that they do? I don't know. It's bleak out there. It really is hard. I think that the older you get, there's a smaller pool of guys for females.

And it's just really not fair. I mean, I don't know if this is like the very traditional Texan in me, but it's like, I am not an advocate of getting married in your early 20s. I think like mid-20s is a really good time to get married. And I think that if you wait too much longer after that, like you're really setting your whole life up for a hard path

from a male's perspective. From a female's perspective, I don't know, that might be harder. Because I don't know. You don't know what I say. Yeah. If you can't have it all, that's okay. If you need to throw out sexy, find someone that's sane and single.

That's a really good take. Like, I don't know. This is how I feel. Okay, and this is a hot take. Just going to get clipped across the internet. No, what I'm going to tell you, like, some of these girls are too picky. I, some of my girlfriends that are single, I'm like, what are you looking for? Like, I'm sorry.

Like, do you think you're Beyonce? or something? Like, no, you sometimes you can't have it all. But I think the beautiful thing about a relationship or when you're dating someone is you find the things that actually matter and then everything else will come. It's like, I'm sorry, but like looking for someone that looks like Liam Hemsworth and being sane and single at the same time, like, who cares? Because if they have a good heart and they're a good person, they have friends and they have good values, that sexiness is going to come over time. Trust me, the Liam Hemsworth look, it fades. Like, nobody cares. And Liam Hemsworth one day could be ugly. So then what? But also. Now you, like, based everything. What if he gets in a car

wreck and then, you know, loses his legs or something? Like, you're still going to have to be with this person. So why are you going off of something that doesn't last? Like, I think that these girls sometimes just don't have their values straight. Like, I'm going to just say it straight up. Like, I know some girls that are way too picky. Tell me what you really think. It's just, I'm beside myself. And the funnest part about marriage is you find someone, you grow with them, and you grow more sane together. You know, I was a little insane. Remember that one time that I went to that party and then I threw a peanut butter and jelly at your face?

Like, I was a little insane. And that's the thing is you get together and you grow together. And it's like you can't just have it all right off the bat. Yeah. That wasn't the crazy time. The crazy time was when... Let's not talk about that time. Okay.

Stop. I know. It was two in the morning. And we had just gotten to a fight at maybe 11 p.m. He went to a date party and we got in a fight. And I went to sleep. And I just woke up to this breathing over my face and Danny was standing in my apartment. It's true.

I had the key. Okay. I'm telling you. I was a little crazy. Listen, I think you're so right because we invested in each other. You know, like, it's like you tell me all the time. Like, I don't know if this is. greatest investment.

But like real, but realistically, like, I should have never gotten you at the age and time in my life when I did. And I feel like now it's like we both have evolved. And I feel like we're both. I'm just going to say it. This is not arrogance. This is just feeling good in our 30s. Like, I feel like we're hotter than ever.

100%, babe. I mean, it's truth. I mean, I got hit on at the airport lounge. I know. That never happens to me. That SOB. Should we call Landon and ask him? I think we should call Landon.

Let's call Landon. Ask. Call Landon and tell him about the theory and see if he agrees. Okay. I love making these phone calls. It's my favorite part. Hey, Landon, you're on the podcast, so don't cuss. Oh, no.

Okay. He's like, oh, beep, beep, beep. We have a segment we're going over. It's called the sane, sexy single theory, and it's about dating in your 30s. But you're in your 40s, so you probably wouldn't know anything about this. I was going to say, I'm newly in my 30s, so I'm not very old. He just turned 41. Congratulations, Landon.

Okay, guys, can everyone calm down? Okay. Okay, so the theory is basically you can have two of, you can have two, but not all three. So you can either in your dating in your 30s, someone who's over 30, you can find someone who is sane, sexy, or single, you can have two out of three.

Do you agree with that? Do you agree with that? No, because I found someone who's sane sexy and sexy. But she's 26. But she's 26. Oh, so you're saying if I want to find someone... Yes. So have you dated someone 30 plus?

Lanna would never date someone in his 30s. What? Have you ever dated someone 30 plus? I'll say this. I noticed in my dating life that people in their 30s didn't like me as much. Maybe because they're so mature and they know what they want. Maybe they didn't think you were sane. Yeah.

Maybe I didn't hit the three criteria, you know? Wait, I'm so curious. Why do you think people in their 30s didn't like? like you. I think when you get to your 30s, you're looking for something very specific. Like, I think your, your, your, your, your, your bar is a lot higher. So do you, do you feel like you weren't enough for the 30 year olds? I just think that I, I never, I could live up to what they wanted. And I don't think that's a bad thing. I just, what did they want? Um, well, how about I, I, I went on multiple dates with one girl who told me on the first date, she had. And I just, I don't think that's,

hated people who were influencers. And I'm like, well, you're going to hate my family. He's like, I hate influencers. I'm like, wow, this is going to go bad. So again, I didn't need her. She comes over for Christmas. I'm like, hi, can you be in my Instagram? You said you went on multiple dates with her.

I went on three with her. I was like, maybe I can change her. That's not a good mentality. Wait, so that's so interesting. Okay, so you tend to agree with the theory. you're saying you cannot have it all you cannot be staying sexy and single in your dating in your 30s I disagree oh I disagree I think you can I think you can I just never found someone like that but I do think they're out there they're out there there there

there are dozens of them that's so optimistic doesn't so there's dozens there's dozens there's dozens of us no I age for me has never been an issue or criteria I think you find someone you like and might have tended to be like late 20s. That's been my sweet spot. Got it. So, Lannon, what advice would you have for people in their 30s trying to find a mate? Yeah, that's a good question. Advice for girls dating in their 30s trying to find a husband. Do not give up. They're out there. I promise. They're out there. I think everyone has somebody. Like, I am Exhibit A of how things can go wrong for a long time. No, you always say it was, it wasn't about the person who was about the timing? Yeah, do you believe that, you ever heard that old adage where

girls wait for the right guy, guys wait for the right time? You ever heard that? Yes, because you tell it to me all the time. For me, I'm serious. Like, yes, I could have found someone cool in my early 20s, but my timing was off. So for me, it took me a minute to be in a place where I was ready to find the right person. Wow. Can I ask you one last question? Land and Austin, a change man. What were you waiting for? Like what why were you, what's so different now than five years ago or ten years ago?

I just, I was more focused on what I want to do career-wise. I was focused on what I want to do with my friends. And I honestly wish. You're being selfish. But not in a bad way. Just like, no, no. I don't think that's selfish. I think I was just motivated by different things. I think people aspire to do different things. And I had buddies who wanted to get married the second they graduated from college and more power to them.

But I was not that guy. Yeah. And honestly, I wish I didn't date. I wish I would have been self-aware that, hey, I'm not ready for this. I should just focus on what I want to do and not hurt someone else by dating them when I'm not ready. So I wish I would have just, like, chilled out. But sometimes it's hard when you're lonely, you know? Oh, that's very wise.

And I didn't mean selfish in a bad way. I meant like, you know, working on yourself. Like, it's okay to be selfish sometimes and be like, I just want to do me. Totally. I don't think that's a bad selfish. I think that's a good selfish. And I think it's good to be self-aware. But when you're ready, I say go for it.

And I found her and I'm thankful because it's hard out there. I get it. I relate. Hot take. You heard it here first. This is also great. Can I ask you one other very important question? Yes, I'll allow it.

Did you take the Stanley from my kitchen, the green one? You said, okay, Jordan said I could have it. Did you say that he could have it? He did. Wait, why did you ask Jordan? You what? You didn't. But, Lannon, you didn't tell me, okay, hey.

I'm going to take it. You snuck it out. And also it was my favorite one. And I took the one I wanted. Wait. Did he really ask you? Did you steal? I would never, ever, ever,

Jordan offered and I took him up on his offer. Okay, bye-bye. I'm happy you found someone special. Okay, we'll talk to you later. Thank you. Okay, bye. Thank you. That was sweet, babe.

He's a changed man. He's grown up. I was like, who is this guy? Yeah, I'm not used to that. No, that was very different vibes. Yeah. He, it is possible. It only took him 47 years.

The age jokes. They never get old. Let me tell you. Hmm. Those are some pretty good hmms that we just got him. We did. Now it's time for, take your top off.

I love this segment. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do you. Oh, you're dancing like Cleopatra. So for this segment, we're going to talk about our top of our top of the top. We're going to talk about our top book, podcast, Netflix shows, artists, songs, and, well, we have a little bonus. So first of all, I want to know, what is your top book recently? You go first. I got to look mine up. Mine, you're not going to believe what I've been reading.

What was it like, Think Like a Horse? No, I did read that one. That one, I had a friend recommended to me. It was called Think Like a Horse. If you like horses or you're into horse culture, definitely read it. There were a lot of... If you're not, not for you. No, there's a lot of anecdotes that relate to horses,

and I've only ridden a horse probably three times in my life. It's like at summer camp, you know. And so, but no, it's a great book for horse lovers. I have been reading, it's actually kind of changed my life a little bit. It's by Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People. I saw that on your Audible. A non-a-a-a-book. A classic.

A classic. And I highly recommend listening to it on Audible. because the way he tells the stories and everything, I'm about to be beloved by all people. No, I'm serious. Like, I am learning so many. Because here's the thing about me. I can talk to an iPhone and I can talk to a crowd, like online, okay?

But when I walk into a party, like we just went to an all white holiday party where we basically knew no one there. I walk in. I am the most insecure person in the room. I like don't know what to talk. about. I'm like, I don't know how to start a conversation. I'm like, do they think I'm weird? Like, I'm so nervous and like, I don't know what to say. And I just, at the end of the day, like, everyone just wants to be liked. Like, everyone just wants to talk about themselves. They want to feel

important. They want to feel, like, great about them. And this book is so good at, like, taking the focus off of you and talking about people. And so it's like, it talks about how to lead people, how to make people like you, how to converse with people, how to convince people that your way is the right way without telling them my way is the right way. It's like, it's so simple, but so genius at the same time. This whole chapter that I just read was about criticism and how no one ever in the face of the planet ever changes with criticism.

They typically change with construction, like whenever you give them compliments. Compliments. It's not about criticizing. people. And so it's really helping me like bite my tongue whenever it's when it comes to you and I don't like your outfit. I'm like instead of instead of talking about the outfit I don't like, talk about the outfit I do like and go lean more into that because that's what people want more of. So that's what's going to drive them to change. I feel like self-help books were written for you. I feel like you are such a

self-help like you will take it. No you send me to Tony Robbins. The next thing you know, I'm flying in the moon. I am a sponge when it comes to things like that. Honestly, that's why I don't read self-help books because I take them too seriously and I, it's like, it's like too much for me. No, but sometimes like I'm like, I don't want to change. I just want to like chill, you know. Does it get, like, overwhelm you? Yes, because I get so like into them and I start taking notes and I'm like, turning to everything. No, I literally, I read a book the other week called Do Nothing and it's all about leisure time and like enjoying your leisure time.

Is it the art of doing nothing? It's called Do Nothing. Okay. It's just do nothing. And let me tell you, I did nothing. Like, like, I was like, I got to stop reading this book. Like, I'm enjoying my life too much. I got to get back on the grind.

So anyway, I read that book and it's, it's, everyone should read it. Mine, I have not read this yet because I've been more on a podcast kick lately, but it's a book called The Gatekeepers. And it's how the White House chiefs of staff define every presidency. Snoozer. No, it's super interesting. Because it's like, it's super interesting because if you were going to get a report on the entire world, that daily briefing document that you get is so critical and so important. And a president reads it every day.

Like they are, they have like one document to understand all the states of things and the decisions they need to make for that day. Isn't that so interesting? It really is. If you really think about it. It's super interesting. Okay. Next podcast. What's your favorite podcast right now?

Um, you know, of course, I'm always a toaster go toast. Um, but I've been reading or sorry, listening to armchair expert by, with Dax Shepard. And the reason I love it is, a lot of females love his show. Yeah, I will say, I don't agree with all of his viewpoints on everything that he says, but I really respect him as a person because, you know, I love a man that can get soft like a big teddy bear. And I feel like he's such a manly man, but then he will get deep. And he's not afraid to get in full on fights or like not fights but you know head to head go head to head toe to toe to um with his uh the people he's interviewing on his podcast which can be kind of awkward like i honestly can't imagine having someone on my my podcast which i probably need to get better about this and then like arguing with them like

it just makes me feel so uncomfortable but i like respect the fact that he does and um and he's a family man i love listening to like a family man yeah that's really cool he's cool i have been listening this podcast called founders podcast It's by David Sinra. And so what he does is he reads like a biography of like some president or some great entrepreneur and he will like summarize the biography so that you don't have to read like Elon Musk or like Rockefellers or a president's like biography. He will kind of like give you the high notes.

So it's like a cliff notes version of a podcast for great biographies. That's so interesting. It's a good concept. That's a good concept for people like me that like can't remember anything. You know, like I just need the cliff notes on, you know, Thomas Jefferson. Like, what was he known for? What did he do? I really like that.

What is your top Netflix show or movie? We know it was not Napoleon. Not Napoleon. I would say I've been watching Black Mirror. Ooh, creepy. I watched it too. Yeah, I kind of like watched all of those. I love creepy things like that.

I think like the next thing I'm going to probably get into is the Twilight Zone, like the old one. Oh. I just thought it would be fun to watch. Yeah. What are you watching? Well, we watched the, most, I thought it was hilarious. I know you said it wasn't your favorite comedy special with Mike Barbiglia, the old man in the pool. You loved it. I was cracking up. Oh my gosh. Because,

you know, you and I, we are such suckers for, um, a good story. Wholesome comedy. Yes. Because then I went and watched Matt Rife on Netflix in his comedy special. Yeah, he's blowing up right now. And I'm sorry, like, I just did not think it was funny. Really? At all. I, I know that he's so popular and he's popping off. I just, I will say I was pleasantly surprised at how not clean it was because it definitely wasn't clean but it wasn't like sex joke after sex joke after sex joke

but then it did get to the point where it was like pretty raunchy at one point. It's cheap to me. It's cheap humor. Yeah, it's cheap humor. But so the way that Mike Berbiglia tells the story of the old man in the pool, it's like really cool how you talk about this,

how creative he is, how it's all just like one consecutive story throughout the whole show. And he was so funny. So I've been watching that in Selling Sonset. Yeah, Mike Bribibba is amazing. You should watch. I didn't like the old man in the pool as much,

but his previous comedy special is like my favorite of all time. He's an interesting fella. He's so creative. So like original, so entertaining. Y'all got to listen to it. What songs or artists have you been listening to? Oh, I have this one. You go first.

I got to find mine. Oh, well, I was influenced by you. No, you have no idea what I'm about to say. But yeah, tell me. Big Booty Mix. Big Booty Mix. You've been listening to it. I love a good big booty mix.

I've been working out to it. I just looked up on Spotify, Big Booty Mix, and I listened to Big Booty Mix. And that's about it. No. It's really just. It's good stuff, honestly. So, you know, again, when people get really passionate about things, they don't DM you, they DMU.

They DM me. And some lady was telling me a testimony of the big booty mix about how she put it on. in her kitchen, 30 minutes go by, she'd cleaned her whole kitchen and didn't realize that time had passed because Big Booty Mix is playing. I love that. I took a picture. I've got to find this song. We were at that party.

Uh-huh. The white party. Uh-huh. And there was this song by the DJ playing and it hit so hard that I screenshot it. Was this the point where I was on the dance floor with Santa Claus? No, it was actually before that. You were like really engaged in that conversation with the hacker. Yes.

We met a white hatter. Yeah, she's a white hat hacker. Oh, I found it. Okay. It's called, should I play it just for a second? Sure. Okay. It's called Purple Hat by Sofi.

Hold on. So we met a white hat that night. So purple hat by Sofi Tucker. Hold on. Let me find it for you. Sofi. You might recognize this song. I have to keep that name in the list of baby names.

Sofi. Okay. Do you remember this song? Yeah. Yeah, I've heard this one. I've never heard this song. I heard it at the party and I literally asked Siri, I was like, what song is playing?

It's magical. Okay, so it's called Purple Hat by SoFi, Tucker, T-U-K-K-E-R. So the last question I have for you. If we had MySpace, who would be your top three friends right now? I know, you and friends. It's just, it's a... It's a tough conversation, but babe, we need camaraderie. You go first.

We need community. Oh. Okay, I started, this is bad of me, okay? But I started following a bunch of like the private schools in Dallas's admission Instagrams. Oh my gosh. So that maybe I could start becoming friends with them. You know, it's like, I feel like I'm applying to college all over again.

for my kids. And so I feel like I would put them on my top three friends list because like maybe I could build a relationship with them. Well, why don't I ask you, Danny? Why don't you rank them in order of favorite to least favorite? No, I don't. I don't have a favorite just yet. Put it out there.

This is tea. No. But let me really tell you. Okay. No. I will not tell you that. Another Instagram that I just love to follow as ring concierge because I love to see all the diamonds.

Yeah. It's so fascinating. So she would be in your top three? She would be my top three. And then I don't know. I'd probably put you in my top three. Yeah, I'd put you number one. Probably Stella and Stratt number two equally.

Don't come at me. And then maybe Luke. Okay. Interesting. To wrap up this week's episode, we have our Santa Claus giveaway. We are going to announce last week's winners. Randy Hall and Brenna de Villa. We DMed you guys on Instagram, so congratulations.

And then again, we have two winners this week, $500 value, and we are going to fulfill your Christmas wish list of up to $500. All you have to do is leave a review on Spotify and then answer the question in the box. We would so appreciate it. Thank you guys for listening, and we'll talk to you guys later next week. Bye.