De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan - Our First Facebook Messages + Is Having a Boyfriend Cringe?

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

This week’s episode is a cozy mix of nostalgia and internet commentary. Dani and Jordan kick things off with some classic life catch up, then take a trip straight back to the beginning of their story by reading their first ever Facebook messages. They’re funny, sweet, and surprisingly direct — peak early-social-media energy in the best way. Then they jump into the Vogue debate over whether having a boyfriend is suddenly “cringe.” Dani and Jordan break down where this idea even came from, why people online love turning relationships into discourse, and what the whole thing actually says about dating culture. Prioritize your sleep! Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/dani or use code DANI at checkout. Visit evlofitness.com and use code DANI for 6 weeks free. You get a free two week trial, plus your first month at $0 Own your health for $365 a year. That's a dollar a day. Learn more and join using our/my link. Visit www.functionhealth.com/DANI or use gift code DAN/25 for a $25 credit towards your membership. Go to https://OmahaSteaks.com to get 50% off site wide during their Sizzle All the Way Sale. And use code DEINFLUENCED at checkout for an extra $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. See site for details. A big thanks to our advertiser, Omaha Steaks! Don't settle for less than evidence-based support. My listeners get early access to their Black Friday sale for 40% off your first month at Ritual.com/DEINFLUENCED Get last-minute hosting essentials, gifts for all your loved ones, and decor to celebrate the holidays for WAY less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Make sure you’re subscribed to our official channel on YouTube, @deinfluencedpodcast, and follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your De-Influenced fix! Stay connected with us on Instagram and TikTok @deinfluencedpodcast, and as always thank you for being a part of this journey. We love y’all! Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a dear media production. Hello and welcome back to your favorite podcast. Deinfluenced. You were having such a good run. Oh, did I, do I usually have my backrest? It feels weird. Oh, yeah, put your pillow. I always have my pillow.

If you don't, if you're not watching on video, Jordan currently has, you probably can't see it on video, his north face puffer jacket on and a heater next to his feet. And I'm still cold. hands are still freezing. He's frigid. And I could honestly, if I, like, I could probably drip a sweat right now. I'm so hot. Yeah. That was kind of this whole weekend, this Thanksgiving weekend. Like the house was, everybody was so cold. And I was like, guys, it's fine. Because I think, like I said, I just, well, I'm, I have another human in my stomach. And I think it takes a lot of

energy and makes you kind of hot. Speaking of taking energy, you were doing so great this weekend. I know. I just. And, And you just, even last night, you were doing great. I passed out. And I didn't take a nap yesterday. And I can just tell we're on the downward spiral. Not downward spiral. It just hit me.

Like, I've been getting about six to seven hours of sleep every night, which is average probably for me. And, you know, waking up and it's just like we had, we hosted Thanksgiving at our lakehouse. And so every morning, you know, someone's crying and got to get the babies fed and then and then you're hosting all these family members. So every morning it was like off to the races. And I was, I had so much energy. Like was doing great, like a half a cup of coffee in the morning.

That's all the caffeine I needed. And we got home last night. Actually, even we got home yesterday. And like I unpacked. Like, and I don't know, that Chipotle did me in. I'm telling you. The Chipotle did me in too. Yeah, that's Chipotle.

We ordered Jordas Chipotle. And ever since then, I don't know what they put in that chip. I'm telling you, I have been so tired. So I woke up this morning, normal hour, 6 a.m. Stella comes in. I go out there. I'm like, you know, trying to help. I'm like, oh, yes, raising kids.

Yeah, I'm helping. I'm such a good mom. And I look at Jordan and go, I got to go lay down. I'm sorry. And so I lay down from like seven to probably 11. I've honestly like only 45 minutes because I started, I was watching my the Beast and Me show. Okay, you weren't watching our show.

No, no. And then I watched Pluribus, like the one episode I haven't seen. But another crazy thing about this week is every single day at the lake, we're there for four days. I got 12,000 steps every single day. And so I made sure I was like really active. We played so much pickleball tennis. And I was like, man, this is not catching up to me at all. Like I am just a very fit pregnant woman. And then I realize I'm not.

I'm humbled. Your longest stretch in pregnancy is like five days. Yeah, yeah. But I don't usually push myself to such an extreme. Like I don't usually do 12,000 steps. No. I probably hit about 7,000 a day. But your energy levels, it's never like rise and then slutty to decline.

It's like boom, boom, boom. But that's how I'm all day. Both are. 100%. like we are full throttle to the max where we are like dead in bed and like I just remember like my mom being like that growing up like she would be like five days like 100 like on max 100 percent just da-da-da-da-da and then like on I remember like one day a week she would just be like in bed all day yeah she was like that's late I know I don't I don't really mind it though no no it's just part of the

rhythm it's part of the rhythm I think it's a great way to live yeah all in or all out all in all out 100% or 100% not it's so funny i thought about that this morning about you i was like yeah it's like she is 100% in or 100% out so true and yeah it's just it's an interesting thing about you what context are you thinking about that um i just i was just thinking about it. No, you can tell me. No, I was just thinking about it. I know you have an example. No, I don't. I really don't. Well, you know, the other week, you were like, hey, we should film some reals together. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I was just thinking about it and I was like, you know, I was all in. And I had decided in my mind, like, I'm going to be all in on this. And then, you know,

you wanted to be all in at that moment. But then you couldn't. Yeah. And then you were all out. And then I was just thinking about how for so many years, like I had to, like when you were all out and just tired, like, I had to be the one that was like, no, like we got to keep going. And I was just thinking about how mad at me you probably were during that era. And how much healthier it is now that I can just respect your rhythms of being all in and all out. And I don't have to be the bad guy. I just think about that. It's great insight. I was just thinking about it.

I love that. It was crazy. Speaking of past, so when I met Jordan, I'm sure you all have seen that that reel that's going around. It's like, it's like when the boy at the football game asks to buy you a drink, you say yes, make sure you marry that man. Like, have you seen that? It's like a trend on Instagram. And I was like, oh, I got to make one. Like everybody's doing it. Like, I got to do it too. And I was like, okay, so when the random guy, messages you on Facebook and you think he's a cousin, but he's not. And then he asks you to be a part of a shoot with football players. Make sure you marry that man. Wait, did you redo it like that? No, but that's the person. I was like, that's the person to get him to my head. The funniest thing

when she posts this, the funniest thing about our initial Facebook messenger feed or conversation is that. I scrolled, by the way, last night when he was napping, I scrolled all the way back to our initial Facebook conversation when he reached out to me. And the funniest thing. Did I read it? Well, the weirdest thing about it is that you thought I was your cousin, but I also said you were pretty. Well, because I closed on your picture and then I realized we weren't cousins.

Oh, okay. So you knew immediately that we weren't cousins. So my family are Ramirez. And so I have an Alex Ramirez, a Victoria Ramirez. It's been a Jordan Ramirez, which is that to me. I'm like, a long last cousin. Not only is a long glass, but he's another white cousin because like all of my cousins are not white like and so I was like oh my gosh there's another one like me out there

because every time I go see them they always call me the white kid you know squeeze my cheeks they're like the white kid I'm like okay and so um he reached out and I was like oh my gosh another remittes and then I clicked on the picture I saw like your family of origin I did a little you know I texted my grandma my aunt yeah make sure make sure I was like do we have another long last cousin they're like no yeah um and so we weren't related, which actually has been confirmed over 23 and me multiple times. Yeah, we're good. We're good.

Even if we were, it's like, it's not that we were, you know. You know, it's like, we're already so far in. Like, what are we going to do about it? It's like, what are you like my seventh cousin removed twice? Like, it's like, okay. Also, it happens. Just objectively, we have pretty normal, healthy children. thing is, is I wouldn't be fearful of that. I'm just saying if we are related in some way,

it's just okay. Like, whatever. Yeah, but if we were related, I don't think we would have normal children. No, but Jordan, we're obviously not that closely related to our would affect our offspring. Yeah, so I'm saying, we're saying the same thing. Yeah. I'm just saying 23 and me and we have normal children, so therefore we are not related. I think like people can be related and have healthy kids. though like I don't think that just because we have healthy kids that like like confirms the fact that we're not related I thought it was pretty proven that if you're related okay so what if we're second what if our second cousins how far removed is that it's still a little too close for yeah it's too close yeah it's too

closer in my opinion yeah we're Ramirez is like Smith which is so because his mom is a smith yeah so it's like do you know how many Ramirez is this is where at my high school. Like, a lot. We had at least six. You're not cool. Yeah, there's a lot of. You had only six?

Yeah. Jordan's high school did not have a lot of diversity. I'm just saying. No, we did. No, you didn't. You're right. I was diversity. It was me.

I'm just saying. Jordan talks about his high school experience. I'm like, okay, this is definitely a suburb. Yeah, it's separate for sure. Anyway, what was I talking about? So it's fine, whatever. Yeah, we were talking about. Okay.

Oh, yeah. So this guy, Ramirez messages me on Facebook. Mm-hmm. And this is what it said. I was in a tanning bed, which just shows you the times. The funniest thing that was... I have a leathery chest because of it. Don't ever do a tanning bed.

Did you do the little sticker? Oh, yeah. But that was more of like a high school thing. Once you got to college, it was kind of tacky. Yeah. But mine, I never did the little. the Playboy Bunny sticker because it was like trashy. Oh, is it like the heart?

The heart. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Jordan's basic message. This is in November 6 of 2014 at 12.36 p.m. Can you just post? I don't want to read it.

Jordan, stop. I don't know. I just don't like this stuff. Jordan, it's so cute. And actually, we kind of sound the same. I know. We both fronted to each other. I said I had to go because I had a meeting.

and I was like, I for sure had a meeting. We're actually both like very normal in our messages. Hey, Danny, I'm not sure if we have met before or not or not. Sorry. Hey, Danny. I'm not sure if we have met before or not other than a few times. Okay. I should have clocked that as a red flag.

Your grandma is a little off. I just know. Also, for sure, never met. But I wanted you to maybe think that we did. I knew that we haven't. I remember looking at your picture and being like, this guy is pretending to like I remember vividly thinking he's trying to be in the circles that I'm in but he's not like at all and then you ask mutual friends and I was like nope never heard of him I just know we have a lot of mutual friends most likely from Christian circles at UT I remember like vividly like passing all my friends and nobody had heard of you it's okay I liked that yeah I was like mysterious I am the creative

director for a company about to launch a product in the wearable health space. Think Fitbit, Nike fuel ban, etc. And we are shooting a commercial tomorrow that one of our female models backed out of. You seem educated, confident in a purely professional sense. Parentheses, not trying to be creepy. You're very pretty. Oh, okay. Got it.

Your grammar was really bad. We would be shooting a few different scenes like paddleboarding, hiking, jogging, etc. So you wouldn't really have to act as much as do these things as, and pretend the camera isn't there. Just to make sure you know everything is legit that I'm talking about, here's the website, wisebair.com. And here is the rough cut of the commercial we just shot with Emmanuel Ocho who plays for the Philadelphia Eagles and used to play for UT.

Sorry about this being random, but I think you'd be great. If you're free on such short notice and willing, it will just be a three-man crew outdoors and such. Please let me know if you're interested and sorry again for the random nature of all this. If it makes you feel better, I contacted you because you are someone that stands out in a crowd. I also want you to know that I have watched some of your videos because they appear in my newsfeed. And I think that the platform you are sharing, love, kindness, and wisdom is really cool on YouTube.

You seem like you have a great personality and obviously are fine in front of the camera. So hopefully you can participate tomorrow. And if not, I'd love to get to know you anyway. Have a great day. That's such a good message. I know. It was so sweet, right? So good.

So then I said. You were kind of like to the point, were you? Was there? A little bit. Didn't you say like, hey, I'll catch up on this later or something? I said, hey, Jordan. Wanted to let you know, I read your message and I will get back to you after class. I was in a tanning bed.

I remember being like this with the goggles on being like, cousin? Primo? Primo? And then later on that day, like maybe an hour later, I said, this sounds really cool. I'm not sure I understand what Wiseware is, but I would love to help. help out. Do you know the exact hours that they would need me? Also, thank you for the YouTube encouragement. I always hope that my conscience is transparent in those ways, so I appreciate it. If it's okay, I'd also love to bring my camera and make a little video blog about the

experience, quote unquote, behind the scenes type of deal to upload to my YouTube channel. My audience loves this kind of stuff. And then he replies, yes to all your questions. I'm running into a meeting, but I'll get back to you in next few hours with all the details. I was like, you're not the only one to delay a response. And then an hour later, right, I get out of an exam at five. Or both just like back and forth. Okay. So then you kind of go in about the type of footage and, you know, all of this.

And then you talked about like what the actual product is. And then da-da-da-da. And then the next message is December 10th. So this is a month later. So I don't know what had happened like, you know, between us in person. Wait, what was that? When was that message, the first one? This was November 14th, 2014.

Okay, so November 14th. So we had gone to that company? Oh, no, I'm sorry, November 6th. So we'd gone to that company party together. Yes. And so at the company party, we had a great time. And then he told me at that party on the way home that he wanted to take me on a date because he thought I'd make a great wife.

This is a debate. It's not debatable. I clearly remember it. I was looking out at the stars to the right when you said it. And I remember thinking, I like this about this guy. Okay. He's embarrassed about it. I just like, don't think it's like.

Well, you just, you expect. Yeah. Okay. Keep going. The next message. We're married with four children. It's fine. The next message is December 10th, 2014.

Danny, why don't you open up to me? You're holding back. I can feel it. it. You probably were. I go, hmm, how so? I don't know how to explain. I guess I can just, I just, I guess I just feel like I can't read you, which is weird

because I can read a lot of people, pretty much all people, which is so funny because like literally my whole life, people have been like, I can't read you. No, I know. It's because you're. Like, even the guy that used to do our podcast, like, he would always be like, I don't know if she likes me or hates me. Like, you know? Yeah.

Am I hard to read? Like, maybe secretly I actually don't like you, but I act nice. No, I don't like your life. Okay. Whatever. People tell me that all the time, so it's fine. I don't know. Yeah, you're, yeah.

I said, I think I've gotten very used to opening up with very few people. True. Honestly, it just takes me a little more time. To be honest, I just feel like I don't know how sometimes or like what's appropriate or right. I don't know. I mean, then you said, I mean, I'm in the same though. I'm honestly not used to things going. so well and so slow either. And I don't mean slow in a negative sense. Letting someone into my life

is a trivial thing for me. And I think I'm still warming up to you a bit. Exactly. Like this is all very foreign to me and I sometimes feel like I'm holding back because I just respect you if that makes any sense. You said that? Uh-huh. Oh. Yeah. Um, let's see. Val-va. And then basically we talked about it. I said, yeah, I would like to be able to open up to you more and feel more comfortable. But that has nothing to do with you, only with me. But I know that I enjoy spending time with you. I think you're incredibly interesting and just around pretty adorable to say the least. And you said, well, all right.

Continuing on then, shall we? God. We're so mature. Honestly, though, if someone objectively read this conversation, it would have been like, they're getting married. Really? For sure. Yeah, because it's like.

It's so mature. It's so like built on respect. It's not built on like anything trivial. It's just like, it's just like, it's just like, like good. Yeah, we didn't, like, that's the thing about when we first started dating. We didn't have like that crazy like story where you make out of the bar or like you have a crazy night. A couple times, but. No, we didn't. Not early on. Not early on. Not early on. That's what I'm saying is like those first times when you meet each other and like, you know, these like you dance on the

like our relationship was very like slow and steady. But it was like, you know, it was like, yeah, I'm probably going to marry this person. See, I don't know. I kind of just felt like I was going through the motions. No, for sure, you were. Yeah. I was just like, I got nothing else to do. Yeah. No, there was a point, like, probably for the first, like, three months, you were going through the motions.

Yeah. But then you went on that cruise. Yeah. And then you were like, I'm going to marry him. Yeah. Yeah, I went on a cruise. But you also confirmed that you were going to marry me when you went to the kids club. Yeah.

You remember? The kids. Oh, that guy tried to kiss me. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, a guy showed up up my door on the cruise. that had been, he was just kind of like the guy. Which guys, I didn't know this until like last year.

Like, I was like, wait, what? And I kind of was like mad at you. And then you were like Jordan. This was like eight years ago. We have three children. And we also had been dating for three months. So I was like, calm down. Yeah, calm down.

But I, so we had been dating for, we, I had been like talking on and off for like three months. And it wasn't like I said a very like, like, oh my gosh, I met him. I'm going to marry him. Like we had met each other. And even a month in, I turned. tried to break up with you. Yeah, you did.

And then you were like, give me another shot. And I was like, fine. And then like two months later, I was like, I'm going on a cruise, you know. So I go on this cruise. No phone. No phone. And there was, like they had, you know, like, all the kids at night would, like, go out. And so when I say kids, it was like college students.

And we would all go to like this one place and dance. And, and but there was this one character on this boat. I mean, it's a huge cruise. But he was just kind of like always like the most outgoing guy. Like he went and talked to everyone and he like had, you know, that just like that personality that was just like. You love that guy though. Yeah, but you know, he was like. That's, that's my arch nemesis.

But he kind of was like that like almost like in a gay best friend kind of way. Like he would come up to me like, like, hey dinner girl. Like you're some suit. Like you look cute. Like, you know, stuff like that. Like, but not gay, but like just that type personality where he would just walk up to anyone. So there was never any like tension like, oh, I think I like him. Yeah.

You know, so like a week into the cruise, we just are hanging out a lot. We're just around each other a lot. Like, I never, ever expected that. And then we go land and all, we all go dancing one night. And he walks me back to my room. And then he tries to kiss me. I think he maybe did kiss me on my cheek or something. Maybe on your like eye or nose.

Yeah, I don't know. It was like very like, you know, wholesome or whatever. And I was like. You said, no, my husband's back home in the States. I don't know. Like, I was just like, oh, I. And then I really avoided him for like the rest of the cruise. That's all I remember.

Interesting story. Yeah. Never spoke to him again? No. Wow. Should I call Landon to confirm? You probably would remember. Landon wasn't there when he tried to kiss me.

Obviously, he was probably in the room. Me and Landon shared like a tiny little sweet. So like Landon was definitely probably there. I think I did tell Landon and then Lana was like, what? Because it was like, you don't know. I almost thought he was like a gay best friend, you know? Yeah. Almost was like, I almost like when he did it, I was like, you don't really like me.

Like you're just kind of bored. Like, you know, like you're just, you're trying to like make something out of nothing because we're all just kind of bored here. But like we were, yeah, it's just not a good fit. So anyway. Well, we're married. Yeah. We made it. Three children, one on the way.

Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know how we got into that, but it's so sweet. It's so sweet. We're so sweet. So December has this funny way of making life feel both magical and absolutely exhausting at the same time. Between the events, the kids' schedules, the travel, the last minute gifting. By the time the house finally quiets down at night, I'm like, okay, I just need a minute to breathe.

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The new UFO documentary. Oh, yes, about the UAPs. UAPs, yes. Unidentified aerial phenomenon. You know what's so crazy is this documentary is like the new craze because all these like government officials basically come out and they confirm that there's, this has been going on for years and they've been researching these crafts. And they've witnessed all of these crafts.

So we're watching this. And then how about your mom is like, oh yeah, I saw a UFO when I grew up? No, okay. And then your aunt was like, oh, yeah. I for sure saw UFO. And then my dad says, oh, yeah, I saw UFO in Rockwall. But hold on. No, my mom has always talked to a house. She saw one. My mom said, oh, I saw one last month in Florida. That's what she said. She did say that. But she also talks about how one hovered over her car when she was growing up. Yeah. She's told me that story since I was a little girl.

Yeah. And then your aunt had the same thing happen. And they were driving out by a ton of air force bases. And then my aunt had the same thing happen when she was with her best. friend or something they were driving in the middle nowhere and this big light they saw the UFO this big light shown down on them and then their car just started like turned off and all the buttons started blinking and like everything stopped working and then whenever it went away everything was fine again yeah and then my dad what's his story sleeper i don't know he never told me he just said it around the campfire he's like oh yeah i saw one rock wall and i was like what do you mean he was like yeah i saw ufo he didn't ever like he didn't expand he didn't expand he didn't expand he didn't expand

That's so your dad. He just said, so your dad. He just moved on. Just moved on. Yes, you want. Yeah, I mean, there's definitely something going on out there. Yeah, I don't really know what.

But, and honestly, I don't feel like the documentary was that great. It, like, didn't share anything new per se, but it had a lot of legitimate government officials confirming it. It's just what the document, what the documentary does is if you're on the fence about whether or not you believe in UFOs, or another life out there or something, you know, extraterrestrial.

It basically just like confirms that very legitimate people have been seeing these things and trying to figure out what these things are for years. Yeah. And so, yeah, that's got to make people

that I have seen them before feel better. I've never seen the UFO. I don't know why. You know, why don't the aliens like me? It's the same thing. Why, like, you know, my mom says she has like a stalker and he calls her every day and he's like, I want to see your panties. And I was like, how come I've never had a stalker? That is true.

She didn't say that at Thanksgiving. Your dad even told me. He was like, Jordan, what do we do? We got this guy. I'm like, we can't tell you. I was like, and then my mom's like, and it's so annoying. You got to be careful on TikTok. It's like all men.

I was like, oh, I have no men that follow me. She was like, it's all men just making creepy comments. And I was like, yep, I don't know how that feels. And I have a couple of friends when my answer. To be fair, didn't your mom like get kicked off Amazon lies because she flashed her entire audience or something? I mean, I'll flash my audience. Nobody cares. Nobody ever makes a note about that.

It is funny. Danny was actually genuinely offended. She was like, I don't understand why don't I have stalkers, which is so the response that I would have to. I was totally kidding. I was totally kidding. No, it's okay if you weren't, but I would feel the same way. like, wait a second. Wait, you guys all have stalkers. I was like, wait, why does no one care about me? No, I was totally kidding. And I really don't want stalkers. That's actually really, really creepy.

I have a friend who's on social media who actually does have a stalker. But basically, so what I'm saying is, it's like sometimes it's, it is a blessing to be just average looking. Babe, she does this all the time. She's fishing for compliments. You're not average, you're not average looking. You're beautiful. I am not fishing for compliments. Babe. I know the truth and I don't care. I have a great personality. You do have a great personality. I know. I don't care.

I'm not good. And a great body. Okay. I'm just telling you like I know I'm not ugly. We talked about this so many times, but I know I'm not stalkable. Okay. I get it. I get.

Nobody wants to start me. Oh my gosh. Okay. Yeah. Your mom's not getting rid of this guy, though. He's calling for. blocked numbers. I don't know what's you're going to do about it. Yeah, if you all have any advice about that,

loves you know, it's this guy that's blocked that it's always the same guy. Did he say where he falls? He was like, let me send him a picture and he'll be gone. Poof. He'll never contact you again. He's like, oh, next. No, so anyway, we are talking about the UAPs.

Yeah, I don't know. I would love to know in the comments like what people, Have you seen a UFO? UAP people? What do y'all think that they are? I bet a lot of people comment back that they have, but no one feels believed by it. So they just kind of move on and don't talk about it.

Well, I saw a demon, so I'm like, I believe everything. But are they one of the same? That's the question. You know, it's so interesting. I don't get demon vibes from the aliens, but maybe that's what they're there to do is, not seem like demons. The funny thing about like this whole...

I feel like anything demonic would be is very like... The funny thing about, and if they were demonic, why they shut down our nukes? Because they hover over the nuclear sites and they're like, hey, don't kill each other. They're like, we know how this story ends. Yeah, they're like, please do not do this. They're like, we just, it's a bad idea. They're like, we did this 3,000 years ago on our planet. Ended up poorly.

Now we all have to fly around on these flying saucers. It sucks. Like, we're just trying to help you out. We don't want to freak you out or anything. What was it going to say? Maybe because if we blow each other up, it hurts them in some way. You know, they're on the defense. Yeah, like they just want us all to be like one big, happy galaxy.

It affects them in some way. It's good. I wonder how it would affect them. I was going to say something. Maybe because they're demonic and they need us all to be alive so they can, you know. do bad things. Hold on. I'm trying to remember what I was going to say to you. I lost it.

You know, speaking of the aliens, I have been watching that show, Plyrabus. I love it. I don't like it. Oh, so good.

You're just such a contrarian. No, it's not that I'm trying to be a contrarian. I was expecting, like, to love something as much as I loved Breaking Bad, and I just didn't like it as much. I like it better probably.

Really? Yeah. What do you like about it? I like that it's like nothing out there on TV. I've never seen anything like this before. And I like the fact that when I'm watching it, I, there's so many times where I'm like, oh, I expect for this to happen or I know what they're going to do or there's going to be a jump scare or there's going to be a this or that because that's how every other show is. And then it's just not.

Like it's just actually a lot more like a steady of a show than you would think. So then it's like my blood pressure isn't spiking every single time. By the third episode, I'm like, oh, I can relax. Like there's nothing that's going to, like, it's just, I don't know, it's just different. Yeah. It's like a peaceful thriller. What episode are you on? I guess three or four.

How many are there? They're coming out like every Friday. So there's like another one coming out this Friday. It's really interesting. And like I can't, I couldn't have guessed anything. that happens. We started watching it's all her fault. There's so many good shows out right now.

Is it that there's so many good shows? Are we just kind of in a mood where it's like slow? It's December. No, there's a lot of good shows because I think a lot of them come out during the holidays because people have more time to watch them. Trust me. Yeah.

It's all her fault. How would you rank that in terms of your shows right now? So my favorite is Pluribus. And then I've been watching The Beast in me. which I really like. It's pretty good. And that one's also kind of like, I don't know what's going to happen.

But it's all her fault probably besides the music choices, it probably is like equal to the beast in me. Yeah. It's all her fault does a really, really good job at captivating and relating to women and moms. Yeah. Like brilliant.

Yeah. It's like true crime, meets plausible scenario that could happen to a mom slash every feeling and emotion and mom guilt a mom feels like just nailed the audience yeah yeah no it is really good isn't there another show we're watching landman landman see there's just so many good things right now but you're behind on landman i know i see i started scrolling on the first episode of the second season landman and like i'm just so lost now Well, you've been scrolling through a lot of our TV shows, and then every five minutes, you pause and you say, wait, can you catch me up in what just happened? Like, last night was, I didn't say anything. It's kind of annoying. Because you were feeling pregnant and stuff, but you- No, it's cyber, it's cyber week. That's why. Right, right. So I'm shopping or I'm sharing sales. Okay, well, that's fine. But every five minutes, you were like, okay, wait, stop. Can you know, catch me up? What did he say? Yeah, and that's okay. I know. I know.

So yeah, that's been good. There's a lot of shows and food. So I've been thinking about gifts a lot this year and not the usual stuff like gadgets or sweaters. I mean the gifts that actually matter. And honestly, the older I get, the more I realize the only gift that really matters is more years with the people you love. That's one of the big reasons I chose function health. It's the only health platform that gives me data most people never get and the insights to actually start doing something about it. inside function, you get access to over 160 lab test annually. Hormones, toxins, heart health,

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acid. And the convenience is unmatched. It's HSA FSA eligible so you can save when you shop with pre-tax dollars. And the subscription makes it easy to stay consistent. Don't settle for less than evidence-based support. My listeners get 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash de-influence. that's ritual.com slash de-influence for 25% off your first month. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. What's the update on Nashville? I've been looking at the lands out there, the topography, you know, just getting to feel for a little.

Are we still at 60? I don't know, man. I mean, I want to go back out there. There's like a couple houses I really want to check out. we're applying to stella to a couple of schools that we're obsessed with so we're going to see what happens there and then um but yeah we can't go out for quite some a couple more weeks are you not coming with me this weekend no you decided now i you know babe that's one thing about me is like i'm a commitment i stick to it i'm either 100% or 100% out i there's i have a couple

commitments i cannot break this weekend one of them is the nutcracker with my girls And I'm telling you, we booked this probably two weeks ago. Okay. So me and the girls are seeing the Nutcracker and I would feel horrible if I missed. What if you came back on Sunday for the Nutcracker? No, because the number one reason is because the Christmas party. Okay, okay. One of my other friends is having a fabulous Christmas party.

She spends like all year, you know, planning. And I wasn't able to go last year. So I will be there. Actually, I ordered a bunch of dresses. I really need to try on. I'm kind of scared about that. So yeah, I'm sorry. That's okay.

I have to, the main stressor that I have is that we have to take Stella and Stratton to the school for an observation. And I am very stressed about doing Stella's hair in the morning. I'm being honest. I'm going to teach you how to just do a simple ponytail. And hopefully she'll just let you. and like okay and i'll get you some of this like waxy stuff and you just just slick it back let's practice that tonight because he's he woke up stressing about it well and then i was like i was like oh i'll just drive over to lane and olivia's and olivia can do her hair yeah but she's gonna be

here this christmas party oh yeah can you ask john john johnson i'm not gonna show up at their house on why it's 730 on a saturday and say can you do my daughter's hair she'll be doing all of like her other kid's hairs. Cute. I mean, she'd probably do it. She's an Olympian. She's a Olympian. She's probably very easy for her.

She probably is up at five working out. I love following them. Yeah, okay. Okay, okay. I've really been following them like closely lately and they're just amazing people. No. They like live life like Olympians. No, they are.

I know. Their kids are wild. No, I know. They're so athletic. But like them as a couple too. It's just. Yeah. They're just elite.

No, I'm telling you, if we moved to Nashville, I feel like they're going to be our best friends. I know. I mean, I don't want to push that on them, but. But for the first time, I don't know if I can keep up. No, with them? Yeah. No. Don't even try.

No, I'm not going to. But even just like the things that they'd want to do, I'd be like, guys, mama has to take a nap. Like, we can't just go from lunch to pickleball to tennis to pickleball to dinner. I don't think they do that. They don't nap. No, I know. So I'm saying. And then they probably just bring all their kids everywhere.

And then their kids are just really talented at everything. And my kids are like, the grass, there's an ant pile. I just, I don't know. I did take Stellan Stratton over to their house. And like their son was basically like riding the golden retriever dog like a Bronco. And when our kids walked in, they freaked out over this dog. Like they had to put the dog away because they were, it was hysterical. I'm saying.

It's like, I know. Like, I don't think we can keep up in that way. Yeah, it's fine. Don't, dole. But the cool thing about them is like, they're the type of people that, like, you hang out with and they make you better. Yeah, I want to. They're like, put your freaking sneakers on.

We're going for a jock. We're doing the turkey trot this year. And you're like, yes. Yes, friends. That's so true. Honestly, we need some people like that in our life. No, for sure. Because I'm sick of being that person.

she's kidding she's kidding wait oh I'm so sorry she's not kidding you are that person I'm so sorry oh my gosh

it's not that funny um okay wicked is out haven't seen it yet there's been some pretty interesting conversations about

Ariana and what's the other girl's name Cynthia Cynthia um just not looking the healthiest that they've ever looked? Both of them?

Are we allowed to say they're odd? Like outside of just... Just like, yeah, outside of anything. Like, they're just kind of odd people, right? I think they're just, like, kind of like... Are they playing a character, or are they just like that weird? I think they're just, like, it's like the theater kids, you know? The theater kids are just kind of...

It feels like... It's like delusions of grandeur. Like, they actually think that they're... these like princesses or witches and what is it what's glinda prince i don't know aryan always felt so relatable to me and then now she just doesn't and cynthia they're dynamic like did they did they it's like they took a blood oath and are like 100% it's like they're like like have you seen where people like touch ariana and then she's like like like she like acts like she's like collapsing it's like what like what is going on in your brain to where

you think that normal people I don't know they do seem very like weak and that they need each other I don't know honestly though I don't really have a lot to say about this because I don't know what it's like you know

filming those hours and performing the way that they do like I'm sure you build like such a just like insane bond with your people that you film with yeah you know so I feel like they probably have this like insane bond together now but also sometimes

I just think about like could you imagine going to dinner with them? It'd be miserable it's like what like they're just like the whole time maybe when the cameras are they're like normal they go out of character. Yeah I'm sure I'm sure I yeah but people are more so saying maybe they're like

fading off of each other in a negative way because of their like they're just don't look like they're really taking care of themselves like what skinny? Yeah they're just like don't look the healthiest that they've ever looked And so, you know. Oh, I never saw that.

Oh, yeah. They just both look little, like, people are saying they're, like, emaciated. Well, they're probably overworked. Yeah, but I don't know. This looks a little, you know, I don't like to comment on this type of stuff, but, like, it, I, it is a little scary, you know? Yeah. So, which is, like, also, if they are struggling with something,

it is, like, a mental, like a mental disease. so it's like, you know, you just hope that people can get better because that can actually be really scared. Oh, I'm sorry. I was mean to them. Yeah, no, it's okay. You didn't really know where we were going. No, but I know it's mean.

Both can be true. They can be emaciated and just a little odd. And just weird. Yeah, yeah. Who knows? Separate issues. Separate issues. All I know is like I would, I just want them to be happy and healthy.

That's very kind. Love. Send love. So, yeah, I haven't seen that movie. I don't know why. I don't really feel like seeing it. I don't either. I watched the whole first one.

And the only thing that got sent chills down my spine was the last scene. You got to see wicked like on Broadway. So people say, so people say it's, it'll send chills like a lot. The movie isn't doing me any favors of wanting to see the play. Yeah. I'll say that much. That's okay. I feel like most people that had wanted, wanted to see it had already seen it.

That's fair. Like they wanted it to be recreated on the big screen because they loved the, yeah, it's like we've already seen the Broadway show and like it was time, you know, to come up with the movie and like, yeah, yeah. So, and they probably made way more money from the movie. Than the Broadway show? Well, I don't know, they've had that Broadway show on for years. But now it's like, it's a huge thing, Wicked is.

My favorite collab still is the base luggage, Wicked Collab, because pink and green, which are my two favorite colors. And so I got one of each. It's the cutest base luggage ever. But you still want new luggage for Christmas. Luggage is just like, it's like shoes. Okay, so yes. Not big suitcases, but the carry-ons.

Yeah, you still want a new carry-on for Christmas. I like that, how do you say it, Ramoa brand? They have this like really bright, juicy red color, like a cherry red that I think is really pretty. But, you know, I don't really need anything. but you want a new suitcase for Christmas. Sure, babe. Okay. The only thing I really need and want are like massages.

So if anybody out there wants to just, that's all I ever really want. Massages and then more massages. I can never have enough massages. I'd take one right now. I'd walk out on this podcast to get a massage. Okay. All righty, let's move on to our segments for today. Things that make you go, hmm.

Topic number one is having a boyfriend cringe. There's a Vogue article going viral that is definitely making us go, hmm, the writer claims having a boyfriend is becoming cringe and that being single is now the more desirable empowered status. She even argues that the whole traditional relationship model is a failed fairy tale that never really benefited women. Sorry, people are just so stupid sometimes. The article blames social media for making people feel embarrassed to show they're in a committed relationship.

It says the internet rewards the mysterious independent image and treats anything sincere or stable as uncool or cheesy. The overall tone suggests that vulnerability and connection are weaknesses. I'm seriously like, are we in upside down? world. Like if Fran's posting a partner as something people avoid to protect their image, and it glorifies total independence as the new ideal. I'm going to be honest. I kind of agree with this article. Okay. Let me just, we got to get your take, but quote from the article. Obviously, there's no shame in falling in love, but there's also no shame in trying and failing to find it, or not trying at all. And as long as we're openly rethinking and criticizing heteronormitivity,

heteronormitivity, quote-unquote, having a boyfriend, will remain a somewhat fragile or even contentious concept within public life. This is also happening alongside a wave of women reclaiming and romanticizing their single life, where being single was once a cautionary till, quote, you'll end up a spinster with loads of cats. It is now becoming a desirable and coveted status, another nail in the coffin of a centuries-old heterosexual fairy tale that never really benefited women to begin with. Sorry, she lost me at the end. So is she saying... Yeah, wait, is she confirming what I believe or is not? Yeah, can you read the last part again? Well, now she's saying another nail in the coffin of a centuries old heterosexual fairy tale that never really benefited women to begin with.

So she's against boyfriend? Right. Yeah, she's against boyfriends. Oh, she's against boyfriends. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. So she's saying having a boyfriend is cringe.

She's not commenting on why people are not posting their boyfriend. Right. I think it's a little bit of both. Okay. I think that's kind of her viewpoint because of the way society treats it. Okay. So what I was agreeing with is that I think that, so I think females on social media are so interesting. Because I do think that there are these like narrative arcs that like no one actually wants to uphold, but they are upholding them.

Like, for example, I could say. see females not wanting to post their boyfriends because they want to be perceived as like independent or like perceived to be part of the group think that like men suck and no one's all the men are non-committal and i do think that like females do dogpile on some of these like narratives like for example like let's take like alex earl and brachston barrios for example if they broke up no shot in hell that Braxton is coming out looking good and we're all like Alex Earl is yeah no matter what happened like she could have cheated on him she could have been the cause and the reason but like no way that females are ever going to side with like the truth because

the narrative of like men suck and he probably cheated is so much more powerful than like but what happened with like Leibli and just of Aldoni the opposite yeah but that's only because she has such a toxic reputation. She's the exception, not the rule. Like, everyone knew that she sucked, right? It's the same thing with like, something happened with like J-Lo. Like, they'd be like, yeah, she sucks. So there are very few females out there that are polarizing where people are like, I hate her. But like, in general, these female narratives are so strong that I actually could see females being like, I'm in a really amazing relationship with a boyfriend, but I don't want the internet to know that or my followers to know that because then it takes me

out of this like status. It takes my power away. Yeah, it takes my power away or it, I mean, this is like a maybe controversial take, but like it removes me from the victimhood status of like, oh, like men are not always the problem. Like I don't know, but it, I think females get so, they're so careful with their images online that I could see why, posting a boyfriend or being in a happy relationship actually works against the algorithm, not for the algorithm. Does that make sense? Yeah. So I guess we're talking specifically about having a boyfriend online. Yeah, having a boyfriend online. And I could see females not wanting to post that or hard launch that in a way. Like it used to be like that means that I'm choosable.

I'm pickable. But now I feel like it means like I'm not independent. I'm not strong. I'm going against the norm. But do you think that the reason why the internet is loving this narrative so much is because the internet, the females on the internet overall are having a hard time finding a boyfriend? Yes. So then they like the modern wisdom podcast that we listened to with he had, I forgot who was on it,

but he was like a sociologist. And one of the quotes from it is, If you can't get what you want, you must teach yourselves to want what you can get. So it's like if you are someone that, you know, always wanted to be wealthy. You always wanted to be wealthy. You always wanted a ton of money, but you couldn't do it. Then you always have to now teach yourself that, man, rich people are unhappy. Like I would never want to have that much money.

I would never want to be successful like that. They have, they're just frauds. They're fraudulent. Like, I'm so much happier being humble and not having enough. Like, you know, so you kind of convince yourself that what you wanted now, like, because you can't get it, you don't really want it anymore. For sure. And so I think that there's a lot of females online that are having a hard time meeting men because men now have a bazillion options with all of the apps and all of the social media and men are just also like less committal. And so now I think deep down, women are just angry at men.

Yeah, no. And I think that is true. And I do think men do suck for that reason. And I'm, I'm totally on side with that. But now it's become you're in the minority if you have a boyfriend that is a good, healthy relationship. And I think it becomes like an identity issue in the weirdest way possible. Like you used to be weird if you didn't have a boyfriend. Now you're weird if you have a boyfriend because the problem is so large. It's like when Alex Cooper got married, I feel like that was her downfall. like now people do not like her at all because she's not relatable she's like not relatable and I think that when she was single and talking about all these men were all like

she could do no wrong because she was talking about all these like stories dating and da-da-da-da and like we like we were like oh man she's the victim to all these crazy men

that she's at you know and now that she has this stable relationship we're like you're just entitled and annoying now like yeah no

and that's what's crazy is like I think that that's a huge problem if like the group thing social herd mentality is like independent men suck don't have a boyfriend than like people are less likely to post happy healthy relationships and because there's less people posting that it just perpetuates the group think and like the social contagion of like I think another exception though are

couples that share kind of not equally but both share themselves online like when you there are some couples like I think of Ariel and Matt. Like because they both have a presence and because they both seem like they're supporting each other. I love them both. Like, and I'm like, oh, they're such a great couple. Like I love to follow them. Like even if I was single, I'd be like they're just so fun and relatable.

It's almost like when women have way friends that they don't post it about or like they barely post about and like you don't really, you know what I mean? Yeah. They just like don't open their lives to it. And then it just makes you, I would imagine it would make a lot of women feel insecure or jealous or like, so we prefer to. It's like when I'm pregnant, I'm like, yeah, sorry, I don't really want to go see like a movie with a bunch of girls in a bikini. Not that I don't, I don't like you guys. Like, you guys are great.

But I just, I'm really not in the mood. I just don't want to do it. But the relatability for like an Alex Cooper, for example, like, then the relatability becomes like very self-depreckel. It's like the relatability is like men suck. I'm unhappy. I'm single. I'm perpetually single. And like you're just trapped in your own cycle, right? Yeah. I don't know. Like so what's the point this author is making that men that this is a problem? So well, one of our questions is calling relationships cringe a luxury belief. So there's also like a whole other. It can't be that deep. She's saying, okay, hold on. It's a luxury belief. Sometimes I have to take a deep breath and really process what some of these authors and journalists are saying. Okay. So she's saying having a boyfriend.

Is calling relationships cringe a luxury belief? It's calling it. Luxury beliefs are something that you believe because you basically were raised in privilege. So you have this like belief because you always had it. So this podcast that I listened to, one of the most interesting. like points that it was making is all the majority of the women that are saying having a boyfriend is cringe have boyfriend secretly and they are typically like well educated like above middle class like educated not wealthy but like you know well off women that are making this this

oh so so the article is basically saying like this is the article is different this is the podcast I know, but it's kind of the same because they're saying, like, in theory, it would be a luxury belief because the people who are saying that having a boyfriend is cringe are people with boyfriends and committed relationships. And they're influencing like the, yeah, yeah. Huh. Why would they do that? Oh, you had a theory in the car. Remember? What?

Your theory in the car. I said, why the heck would they do that? Just to self-sabotage? So I think women are very territorial, especially when you start to feel like, you start to feel like. your options or like your what you need is becoming scarce. So you, it's kind of like when people are like, I want to become a blogger. And like we sometimes like the OGs feel a little threatened. So we're like, trust me, you don't.

It's so hard. You would hate it. Like it's the hardest job ever. Like you don't want this life. Trust me. You should go be a teacher. You know? And like secretly we're like, it is hard.

And it is like we just don't want more competition. sometimes. I'm not saying I do that. Ficious. Oh, totally. Girls are so like this. I'm like, girls are like, I want that new iPhone. The camera's not really that good. It doesn't really make a difference because I don't want you to have better pictures than me. Like, I'm just making this stuff up. Yeah, yeah. Like, I don't want you to get, I don't want you to know my secrets.

So I think when it becomes something that is so, like, I don't know, just so innate within us, which is like to be chosen and for like find a man and they feel so scarce. We, maybe the women at the top are like, you know, we all kind of feel competitive with each other. So we're trying to influence women to be single so that we have more options for ourselves. Subconsciously. Yeah.

It's not even really that subcontinent. It's just kind of a fact. Girls do that. So, yeah, you told me this in the car and I was baffled by it. I mean, I'm trying to get my mindset in, in that way. Yeah, like, why was someone with? with a boyfriend would try and create this narrative that having one is cringe.

Because we want, yeah, because it feels like it's something that is, what's the word scarce? Huh. It's like caveman, cave woman. What happened to women supporting women? Wasn't that like Jell's motto? Yeah, we do that, we do that too. We do it all.

Do you really do it though? Yeah, it just depends on what type of day it is. Really? Oh, man. I heard Stella, this is so like off topic, but, I heard Stella this morning do something so sneaky and manipulative. So she's been doing this a lot where she'll be like, hey, Buba, go ask Daddy. What did Stratton come in and ask you about this morning?

If he could watch a show. Yeah. So I heard her. She goes, hey, Buba, I was talking to Mommy, go ask Daddy if we can watch a show. And, you know, Shradan's like, hey, Daddy, can we walk to a show? And you're like, no. And then Stella walks in and she goes, what did you ask? What'd you ask daddy?

Acted like she didn't know. She's five. She was acting like she didn't know what the whole conversation that you and Stratton had just had, but she's the one that sent him in there to say it. So she comes in and she's like, what? Bub, we can't watch it.

She's so silly. Interesting. Women are just, we're like, yeah. I try not to be out of mine. No, you're chill. I try to be cool. You're chill. I try to be honest.

But, you know, like, if there's something I really want, like, you better watch out. I, I, I, yeah, I know. I'm like, actually, my biggest revelation is not this silly author of this article. It's more just like me replaying the past eight years of our marriage and being like, oh, that's probably what was going on. But no, there's something about women doing it to other women. It's like. Yeah, it's like the satisfaction's higher when y'all are like. No, it's not that.

It's just like so. innate. I think the competition has always, it's always been there because I think that, and I don't know why, like what this stems from, but like, I've always felt like girls had to be chosen, you know, and I think that's why a lot of girls in Dallas like end up moving, when they're single in their 20s and stuff, they end up moving to other cities or they, they have a really hard time because there's so many beautiful, successful single women here. and the ratio of like to men is like insane. So like the games they have to play to get noticed.

It's like it's hard probably. That's crazy. Yeah. It's survival of the fittest out there for you guys. No, it is. That's why girls are, that is the root of why girls are mean to each other. 100%.

Well, I will say that like just watching your internet career over the past six or so years. Sorry, Can I say one or the thing, but don't forget what you're going to say. It's always women that are mean to you. Because here's another thing. I think that we know.

And PTA moms. I think that we know to elevate because we're not as weak or as strong as the male. Like, and not saying, you know, just like in general, you know, I think we know we need a tribe. Like, we know that we need other girls supporting us. So, but then it becomes like, but then there's also like jealousy and competition. And so you're also trying to build your tribe, like, to help you. succeed or to grow. So that's why things get really manipulative with other women too. Or like competition or like gossiping or you know all of that because we know we can't do it alone.

But we also don't want to compete with you. So it's like it's kind of hard. How do you survive like high school? This is what I always did. This is what I was it. I always hung out with like the pretty girls because typically they attracted the normal guys. And I would always get at least he's like the fifth one down. And he was still pretty normal. But even that is you competing to survive. You just had a different strategy. My strategy was to be the cheapest house on the street.

You shouldn't say that about yourself. It's okay. I'm telling you, it was smart. The cheapest house on the street. I hang out with all of the really expensive houses. And that means that my value is going to go up because I'm hanging out with a $2 million dollar house, three million dollar house, a four million. So I'm at least a million. But if I go hang out with a hundred thousand dollar houses and I'm the best house on the street, I'm really

just 300,000 compared to a million. If there was another female sitting in this seat instead of me, she would be like, yeah, totally. Like she would understand everything that you're saying just as a female. I think if she were really honest with herself. Oh, that's the difference. Yeah. I don't think women want to admit this. You're just a truth, tell her. Yeah. I'm, I mean, I just, you're breaking. To be honest, I'm to be honest with you, I don't, I don't really feel, like, I feel like I already got like the things that I felt were scarce and I was scared of. So I don't really feel like I have to be competitive with anyone. Oh, that makes sense.

Like you, like, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, like you. Yeah, I'm like. Yeah. I don't really, there's nothing that I feel competitive with. Now I feel competitive over men sometimes, with men. not overman. With men. Oh.

Oh, so you're at the phase where you're like trying to break it. I don't know. I don't know if there's like really like a theory on this. I'm just saying there's nothing like I'm not trying to find a husband. I am not trying to find a house. I'm not trying to find a job. I'm not trying to find like that security. Like now I just like genuinely like want friends.

Like I just want friends that I can like grow and hang out with. And all of us are very like all my friends were very like confident. in our relationship so I don't think that we ever yeah like it would be really hard to be one of those Mormon wives where you're doing all swinging and stuff there's probably that's why you see so much drama between the group because like now there's like they're competing for the men with yeah within so now they also have to take each other down and it's like within their little tribe it's vicious it's vicious out there so yeah I feel very I feel very secure like in life yeah My friend group, I don't feel like any of the wives you're coming after you.

Like, I don't feel like, you know, I don't feel threatened. Yeah. So I don't feel competitive. You better watch out. I might get some stalkers lately. I'm like, hey, someone wants to stalk me. And I would be like, okay, so what did you like about him? What was it?

Was it his hair? This is a smile. He's been working on his back, right? It's cute, right? Oh, that's funny. Man, I'm, that's wild. Yeah, I mean, this conversation kind of go, we kind of went all over the place with it. Because there's like, what are your thoughts on like the social media aspect of it?

Why is the government focusing on clothing instead of fixing? Oh, sorry. Yeah, it was like changed topics. Why? Why is? Man, like raising daughters, raising a daughter is going to be hard. Does the internet punish happy relationships? Influencer perspective on posting relationships.

is pretending you don't care actually the cringier thing. Oh, these are good questions. Yeah. This is just getting into like such nuanced deep tracks. Like I just, I don't know. Yeah, I feel like if Alex Serrell was posting like she didn't care, it would be inauthentic. But I don't think people would see it that way. But I think that like deep down, I think that people like put up.

this front like they don't care because they care so deeply. That's that's what I struggle with. I think just like being around content creators for like the past eight years, specifically like female content creators. Like I feel like being behind the scenes and like knowing a lot of the husbands, it's like watching this next generation of content creators create content and try and build this narrative of like, who they are and what their identities are and all this kind of stuff while knowing like probably

what's going on behind the scenes has been so hard for me because I'm like and then seeing the comments that's why like I give this example of like you know breakups that have happened or what have you and like the guys are there's just no way they're winning they are just totally like when we were posting relationships like when we were posting dating like back in our era people are happy for us people loved the relationships like if you didn't have a boy. friend, you weren't as interesting to follow. And that's why I think it's a divide. It's almost probably like geographically in the U.S. a divide. Like I cannot imagine, you know those couples accounts. Yeah. Like the cordals or like, you know, the Matt Navi, whoever, like they get a lot of hate.

But like whoever the couple account is, like I feel like central Midwest, you know, audiences probably love those accounts. Like if you look at their- Because it was very aspirational. It's what- It's what they want. It's like-. I remember, I remember being in. in like right out of college and I started following, let me think, oh my gosh, barefoot, not barefoot one, who's the girl that Amber, not Amber Ruben's dogs, who's the girl that came out with day? Amber Phillip. I remember following Amber Phillip.

And she had a boyfriend and she had kids and she was like my age, maybe a little bit older than me. And I remember right out of college, I don't, I wasn't even married. I started following her and I loved following her because it was so like, I want this one day. One day I want the husband, I want the kids. It was so aspirational. I pretty much only followed married women. Like I did not follow any single women.

Yeah. And that was okay. Like that was like the norm. And that was like what we were all. So I think when we got married and our friends got married, everybody was like this. We like if you didn't post, if you posted a picture or anything with your boyfriend or your husband, it got way more engagement. And people like to do so much more. Right.

But then I think that it's just. the conversation has like shifted. It's like the tinks of the worlds and these like single women. Alex Cooper. And then you have all of these like, you know, elite like luxury beliefs coming in that, you know, maybe these women that have these beliefs, it's like they also don't really need the security because they come from families that are already taking care of them. It's like a lot of us like needed to get married to like take care of ourselves too.

And then you have these women that are like educated, supported by their dads. you know, never had to pay for colleges, never had to do anything. Like, they're fine doing it on their own because they're secretly supported in other ways. Yeah. It also is just like a statistical fact that like married women are so much like, and I don't know if it's women with families or married women like are so much happier. Mm-hmm. And I think it's like the rich women that are not married are the ones that are unhappy. Rich women who are unmarried?

Yeah. Like I think women that don't have a lot of. all our resources, like, want to get married. They don't want to have to carry all the responsibility by themselves. They don't want to have children by themselves. But you have this luxury beliefs coming in because they're like, well, grandparents will take care of us and da-da-da-da-da will take care of us. And it's a luxury belief.

Like, yeah, you can be single because you can afford it and it doesn't affect you as much. Yeah. Alex Earl kind of does break that barrier because she seems like she's in like a committed, healthy relationship. But she could so easily be like men suck, like, you know, that type of... But I'm not going to lie to you. There was like rumors that she and she and Baxter broke up during dancing with the stars. And I read it.

And I kind of, I'm going to be honest. I kind of was like... He sucks? Good for her. Like, I'm excited to see what she does next. Why? He seems like a great guy. I know.

I know. It had nothing to do with him. I was just like... Because you wanted her to be more independent? I don't know. Or you were like bored with her narrative with him? Yeah, is it just like new content basically? Yeah, maybe like it was taking it back to her roots, like her old content.

Because you want it, but like... Because maybe her boyfriend era just seems like not as interesting. But see, that's what's so sad is like just from the guy's point of view. like let's say Braxton was a loyal, awesome, like, respectable, like, treated her well, husband, material dude. And y'all are like, nah, I'm bored with it. Like, what incentive? We like him. We like him.

We just don't. It's like. This is boring. But this is, yeah, it's like, it's just like, we want to like, if you can rewatch the love story, why not? But this is part of like the danger of the social media contagion is like, everything is just like your life becomes this like entertainment platform when in reality like you know the way that god designed it is right there but the internet especially for females like because of envy and jealousy and all these things it ends up prioritizing the story of the

internet which we know is not the actual story of real life but it's such a it's such a driver for females in particular it's like it's every You know, and I think that that's why people are like, oh, like boyfriends are cringe or people are like literally willing to not share their happily committed boyfriend relationship because they want to be a part of this narrative and this social proof that they get from other females more than anything in the world. Yeah. It's really messed up.

It's like a giant social experiment that's playing out on the global stage and affecting like whether people get married or not or whether they want to be committed. And so like the guys on the other end are like, you know, I'm almost, I'm almost better being like a chaotic bad dude because it's better for content and it's better for the entertainment value of the platform. But I think men like historically have always not the good guys, but have always like wanted to keep their options open, dated multiple women like, you know. Yeah, but I feel like there's. Historically, it's always been like, it's fine because he's a guy so he can date like multiple women. It's like not a big deal. Go on dates with this girl and then this girl and then this girl. But if a girl does that, then. And so I think that's where the pendulum is swinging because it's like,

so Alex Cooper comes along and she does the same thing. And we're all like, you know what for the first time? And I'm not saying we like me. Yeah, yeah. I'm saying like the internet is like, you know what? She's doing what every other guy does. Why can't she do that? You know? And so then it's just like the pendulum is like always swinging back and forth. And like right now it's on this era of like female empowerment. And like taking your power back. Like oh, men did it. So like now we're going to do it.

Yeah. Kind of probably. Right. Yeah. You know. Yeah. I'm not saying it's fair. But I feel like I don't think the in state for females is going to end up in a happier

place. Yeah. Just like you would tell any guy like, hey, you sleeping around. you think it's going to make you happy. But every guy who goes through that era is like, man, I'm actually really lonely and unhappy and depressed, right? Right.

And so. But they never had to be held accountable for like all of the women that they hurt. So then that's when the women are like coming out of the woodwork being like, I'm taking my power. Yeah. I get it. I get it. I think if you have a boyfriend,

you should post them on the internet. I mean, it's the same thing with like, let's get the content going again. It's the same thing with like, Bill Clinton and what's her face with the blue dress Monica? Monica came out as like

the slat and they both two takes two to tango and she came out as like the one that looks bad and so now people are like she's an icon you know because they're like she's the one that got destroyed but she did the same you know so there's just a lot of that where the pendulum

is just swinging right there's one other point I was going to make it is so true though like I don't think I ever I don't think I ever like dated any playboys or anything wasn't really my type but there might have been like a guy or two that like I really

liked and maybe I went on a date with him and then like I didn't really like hear back and then like he would text you three weeks later and then you're like is this okay and da da and it's just like so crazy like I feel like sometimes what the girls were willing to put up with in order to get.

Just to be chosen. Just to be chosen. Right, right. And then you look back and you're like, but you kind of just feel like that's all that's out there. So, yeah. Back to your concept of scarcity. Yeah. And therefore competitiveness.

Survival of the fittest. I think the way I handled it was really smart. Your house. Just be the cheapest house on the street, but be like live in a really nice neighborhood. It's seriously so smart. Yeah, but realistically that had, realistically, that had nothing to do with why we got married. So yeah, it's a great strategy, but realistically, like, I didn't know any of your other friend houses. True, that's probably why I liked you is because I felt like you weren't in the hood.

Like, I was like, he's in a different neighborhood, different world. Yeah, yeah, different zip code. And I didn't feel like competitive with anyone. Right. So, I mean. My friend, none of my friends knew you. it was like this is an easy shot an easy get yeah it's like the deer standing right in front of me i got an easy shot i'll take this so we can quote you on jordan is easy yeah jordan is easy

actually it wasn't as easy as i thought because then he had this other like girlfriend ex-girlfriend she had nothing to do with us yeah but she was like around sometimes not really i saw our parties and stuff oh you did Oh, well. I didn't know that. Yeah. Anyway. Okay. Great talk. Great talk. Yeah. I think we're probably done.

You think, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Bye. Okay. Love you guys. Bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.