De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan - Please Don't Cancel Us

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

Oh hello our sweet De-Influencers, It’s back to just us and you this week! And let’s just say we may have gotten a little too excited to spill the tea with our besties (you).  What can we say?? Y’all just make us feel so loved and comfortable that we truly just become unhinged in the best way! We’re talking TikTok, influencers, holiday and parenting struggles and so, so much more. Plus, Jordan shares a heated interaction he had on our San Antonio trip and Dani might potentially be joining the haters??  So yes, the title is an accurate disclaimer for this episode, BUT it was too honest and too juicy not to share with our De-Influencers. Enjoy our banter, hot takes and laugh along with us on this wild journey of an episode and most importantly… Please don’t cancel us, we were just in a silly, goofy mood! As always, checkout our socials @deinfluencedpodcast on Instagram and TikTok, maybe you share our clips and content with family or friends who may not know about us… That’d be pretty cool.  We LIVE for your witty comments and fun interactions so keep that energy coming and who knows, maybe your comment will get pinned or shared on the pod! Right now, BÉIS is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/DEINFLUENCED Head over to dreamlandbabyco.com and enter code DANI at checkout to receive 20% off + free shipping! This code applies to new and existing customers. Cheers to another Wednesday with your OG’s!  De-Influencers, WE LOVE YOU!!

And welcome back to your favorite podcast, D-influenced. I'm back with my boo. It's just me and you. It's a talking podcast. It's a talking podcast. We've had so many interviews. And if you weren't watching Love is Blind, I apologize because we've gotten Love is Blind heavy. We had Britney from Love is Blind.

We had Jess from Love is Blind. Yeah. I think they did well, though. Yeah? Team? Yeah. Yeah, they did well. I mean, people love them.

People love Love is Blind. I think we should just be like the podcast. Like when people end Love is Blind, they just come on the podcast and explain everything. Maybe we should broaden our horizons and go to other reality TV shows too. We can do The Bachelor, perfect match. Yeah. I'm open for that.

I just don't watch enough. Health's Kitchen. That's the thing. I feel like Love is like my only show that I watch. So that's why we had them on. But yeah, give me a little life update. How are you doing? I'm doing great.

thank you for asking. You know, it's been a good past weekend. We had Easter with our family. I played paintball again. Yes, you did. I crashed, I crashed a birthday party. Okay. My friend Miles was like, hey, my brother-in-law is having a birthday party.

And I said, oh, really, what are you all doing? He said, paintballing. And I said, can you ask him if I can come? And I really inserted myself, but it was so fun. Yeah. Did you get any welts? I got a welt on my nipple. actually really hurts.

Yeah. It's kind of the worst place to get shot is in the nipple. So like when you go to these birthday parties like were there other people there or was it just the group? Like were you playing just the group? Well, so you have like walk-ons and then private parties and we played with our 14 guys. And then at the end I wanted to do a walk-on match but we had already played all day. I gotcha. Well, I had a good day with mom and Olivia and the kids.

to go into the mall, the mall was packed. It was like probably not the best time to go. Well, I mean, I had two other, you know, adults with me. No, what I'm saying is not because you went with the kids by yourself, but it's like, it's got to be so crowded on Easter weekend. It was so crowded. Can I tell you something that happened at the mall? I feel like this past weekend I lost my marbles.

Like, I feel like I was not there. Oh, it was so bad. Okay. So we're at the mall. And like, you know, live is really good with kids. And my mom's like great with Stella. but like I'm the responsible one you know what I mean if your mom is there your mom just like she just is overboard with like all okay let's change she wants to change like stratton's diaper like

every hour and like it's okay like we can wait two hours very nurturing but like to to the extreme which is a great thing but like when I'm with live and my mom like they're there for a good time so I'm like really like it's hard for me to enjoy myself because I'm so like stressed you know and like the kids wouldn't be out of the stroller and I'm like the one that's like no sit in the stroller, get clipped in, because if you're not in the stroller, you're going to run around, and, like, we're going to lose a child. Like, you know, so I'm, like, a little stressed out. Two things that I did that day, which I was just, they were so out of character for me,

you know, maybe it's because usually you're there and you take care of me. I go to the bathroom. You know, we wait in line for the family bathroom? You know how my phone has, like, a sticky octobody? But the best things, if y'all don't have an octobody for your phone, oh my gosh, they're amazing. Here's mine. It's just like this like sticky grip.

It won't stick to this wall because it has to be a flat texture. But like I love it because now when I go, when I go anywhere, like even to the bathroom, I stuck it on the wall in the stall, you know, like, because it's tile or whatever. And I was changing Stratton's diaper. Like we're about to leave. I walk, oh, you know how North Park Mall is like massive. We walk like 20 minutes to Neiman Marcus across the mall. We're getting ready to valet. I tried to pull my phone out.

I'm like, where's my phone? I left it. stuck to the bathroom wall. That's so you though. It's so me. And so I'm like, oh my gosh, and the kids are out of a stroller. So I'm like, you guys watch the kids. I run back to the bathroom.

I'm like waiting in line and it's still there stuck to the wall. Like I was so lucky. The second thing that I did that day was I went to Northsham. I bought five new pairs of pinky pinky, you know, my favorite underwear. Like they're my favorite lace underwear. I've been wearing them since high school. But I needed some new pants. And so like they're so they're $20 a piece, maybe $22.

They're outrageous for a pair of like cotton underwear. What's your go to? It's my go to. And so like I've been needing to buy them for so long because like all mine have like self-tan. Like it's just time, you know. And so I, um, buy five pairs and $100. And then I buy a pair of like sticking nipples because they were on sale for 19.

I was like, okay, fine. I'll do it. So, you know, Stratton's like, we're like fussy. he wants to hold the bag for me. So I gave him the bag to run around the mall. And I completely forgot about it. I have no idea where that bag is to this day. It's gone.

It's in good hands. He had it for like an hour walking. And it was so cute because he wanted to hold a bag. I just, I have no idea where it is. I don't even know what to do. Who do I call? I can't just call like the mall, you know? I was thinking about calling Nordstrom to see if it was still in Nordstrom somewhere.

But like, and I knew it. The whole time I was like, do you take your house? bag back because your son's going to lose your, he's going to, like, leave it somewhere. And then I was like, no, he's happy. Just let him run around. So, I'm so bummed. It was kind of just like a big L for me for the day. But, you know, it was worth it for the memories.

Yeah, but I lost like $122. I'm so upset. You know, the disappointing thing that happened to me on Saturday is I've been trying to find like a new podcast that I can get into. Well, have you ever heard of D influenced? Yeah, I will never listen to our podcast in my life. Like, and honestly, sometimes it comes up on like your TikTok. talk feed and I swipe so quickly.

I'm like, I don't want to hear my voice. It's like I want that to just be a whole thing I black out on. Yeah, I feel that. So anyway, I was trying to find this new podcast and it has a bad word in it. So if there's kids listening, it's called Behind the B-A-S-T-A-R-D-S. Okay. And it's basically a podcast. It's such a cool concept.

What they do is it's this old journalist who researches all of the most terrible people in history. So, like, his latest episodes is like... Sounds so dark. Um, yeah, but they're kind of funny about it. Like, it has, like, really good reviews. Like, why did they end up so bad? Well, so it's always very unique characters, like the guy who created Dennis the Minnis. They just did a two-part series on how the creator of the movie, the children's movie,

Dennis the Minus was actually a really, really bad guy. Oh. It's very similar to, like, you watching that Nickelodeon documentary of, like, all these, like, these kind of bad people behind things that you would never... Yeah. imagine. Anyway, this is not a cool story. I found the podcast. I think a lot of people will like it, but I just found them to be like, they always talked over each other and it like bothered me so much. And so then on my hour long paintball journey, I just didn't like it. That's a really

great story. Thank you, babe. No, honestly, I think a lot of people really like this, this podcast. It's called Behind the B-A-S-T-A-R-D-S. Oh, wait, sorry. I need to back up. You just said it was annoying to listen to because they spoke over each over-age. Just like my style, like I didn't personally like it. But like conceptually, I think it's like a really cool podcast. I think other people who aren't as bothered by that will like it. Okay.

Well, good to know. Listen to this podcast that Jordan didn't like, but you might like it. Yeah, we had a very, we had a great Easter. We played poker and pickleball and went to the park, three peas. What is that, is that weird that we played poker on Easter? on Resurrection Day? I thought about that. I was like, oh, okay, we're going to go straight to gambling.

But no, we don't gamble. Just so you know, we play with chips. But I'm not, I'm not opposed to it. But you know what's so funny is like your whole family is so competitive. And then the minute that we have this idea of like, why doesn't the winner just get paid $5 by everyone? Your mom was like, no, I don't gamble. No, my mom was like very against gambling.

I know. Which is so funny. Like, I don't mind a little gamble. Like, and it's not because I like want to like, I just like, okay, maybe I just, I just have this really high threshold for like a dopamine hit, which is like really sad. But like I feel like I need something to spice it up to like get me excited about a game. Like I need to win something. Yeah.

And I don't like like, like bragging rights like don't matter to me. My mom was like, let's play for bragging rights. And I'm like, that means nothing. I'm like, I need to win $10. Like, and then I was like, we can even just put in a dollar each. But there has to be some type of sacrificed, you know, for this game. But we didn't. We played with chips.

And then we went to the park. It was great. I want to ask you something. Yes. Do you feel like this guilt as a parent every time that there is a holiday? Like we're not celebrating well enough for our children. Yeah. And I never felt this like.

But it's like probably every third night. So I have had, I would say when it comes to holidays, I, here's a thing that that about me growing up. My parents did not go all out for holidays. Christmas, yes, they went all out. But like, we never had the Easter bunny. We never had Easter baskets. My mom and dad, like, were working every single, my birthday every year. Like, they were gone the entire week. So, like, I never really did anything for my birthday. It's not like I woke up and they were like, and I'm not upset about it. Like, it's just the way that it is. And so now when I have kids, I look on TikTok, I look on social media and I see all these parents putting together the most

extravagant Easter baskets and then, you know, the stocking stuffers and then the elf on the shelf. And I'm like, there is so much and like, is it bad that I'm not going as hard as they're going? And like some of these people don't even actually believe in Easter. Like, it's just like they're just like, they're just like we're going to celebrate the bunny day. And I'm like, so then. Wait, do they call it the bunny day? No, I just like, they just do everything bunny. Easter is so controversial.

They can't even say Easter. They have to say the bunny day. No, no, no, no. Just, you know, like Easter is, now it's called Resurrection Day amongst the Christian community, which is fine. I love it. We're taking it back. We're taking back language. Yeah.

And here's the thing. I'm not upset about it or anything. I just am trying to process like what I need to do personally because I feel like I'm always failing. And I'm like, I actually believe in this holiday. So like, is it bad that I didn't do Easter, I didn't do Easter baskets for my kids? I'm just going to say it right straight up. I thought about it.

Maybe you're such a purist and that you don't want. want, you want it to be so much about Jesus that you don't want it to be manipulated by eggs and candy and all these other things. I mean, I definitely do. Like I try to, even with like Christmas, I'm like, it's Jesus's birthday. Santa Claus is going to come help us celebrate. Like, but I just, it's hard for me not to feel this like sense of guilt when I get online. I'm like, oh my gosh. Like their kids got like coloring books and, and, you know, step animals. And I just am like, but yeah, so I tried, okay. I posted the cutest video of Stella trying to explain to her.

If y'all haven't seen it on my Instagram or I posted on TikTok, I did it all by myself. If you haven't seen it, it's so freaking cute. I'm like, Stella, okay, so what happened was Jesus died for our sins. Like, you know, when you hit your brother, that's a sin. And, you know, we all sin, but then Jesus died for our sin so that we can live eternal life with him. And without him, like, we would all be condemned. And she's like, Jesus is coming to our house?

I'm like, well, I mean, technically he's already here. He's in your heart. You know, and she goes, where? She goes, Jesus is in my heart. And I was like, yes. And so she lifts up her shirt and starts looking in her shirt, like in her heart for Jesus. And it's so cute. And so anyway, I don't know.

I would say that's more important momming than an Easter basket. Yeah, I know. I know. And it's like, and I know that, like deep down. And that's why I try to emphasize. that. But there is this like sense of comparison where I just feel like I'm falling short. You know, I always feel like I'm falling short though. I was going to say, don't you like, don't you struggle with this like ongoing? Because that's, that's how I feel when I look at like

other moms or dads on social media. Even dads, like I'm like, man, he's an awesome dad. And I feel the comparison. So I feel like you as a mom probably feel like. Well, this is what I actually, I want to, I want to bring this conversation. Okay. I've been thinking about this a lot. So I've been on TikTok more. because I'm trying to understand this TikTok world. I sound so old right now. Because like I'm so like well versed on Instagram and like I get it all. And like Instagram stories like the beautiful thing about Instagram stories is like, yes, it is posted and it's somewhat at it.

But like it is the most real version of content that you can get. I'm not saying it is real completely. But like it is more authentic than TikTok or all the. Isn't that not what the TikTokers think though? Like TikTokers think. But I'm going to tell you why. Instagram world is more contrived than TikTok. It's not.

And I'm right about this. So. No, I believe you. I want to know your argument. Okay. So these TikTok vlogs that you're seeing, it is like the vlogs.

It's so funny because when I started my YouTube channel, this is how content went. We vlogged. We've logged everything. Vlogged your entire day. Guys, the amount of work that that takes and like is insane. And here's the other thing that you have to think about when you're

vlogging. You are saying you're you're filming on your content and then you're saving it and you're posting it at a later time. Instagram stories are the way that we create them. They're posted in real time. Okay. Like that's just how most Instagram people stories go. Stories have to be, they're more real because they're the actual clip of life. Yes. And TikTok and these vlogs are edited and stylized. Like it's just different. It's more contrived and it's fun. They're beautiful. And like I actually been very inspired by them. But what I just think is so wild is like I know the amount of work that's going on behind the scenes of like the like even you have to think every time you're watching a vlog, there is a tripod and a camera and maybe some lighting that is being set up for

every single shot. So how are all those shots like so it's not like they're holding the phone doing selfie? You know, you just pointed out to me that I ever realized is the lighting. You're so right. Yeah. Because the lighting is always perfect in these vlogs. And I'm like, How are they like getting this lighting? And it's, you're right. It's, they have a whole set behind the scene. Well, it's probably just the Alex Earl light. Yeah, but it's still like, you have to go set up and turn on the camera,

check the camera, make sure that the angles, right, and then walk into the frame and then cut up the apple. Like, it is not real. It's not real. And like, I'll just tell you on Instagram stories, you put your phone up and it's, like, filming. And like, it's just different. And I'm not saying, like, one is better than the other.

I'm just pointing out the fact that it's a crap ton of work. So like I sometimes wonder, I'm like, is everyone just doing this because it's interesting content to watch. But if you weren't doing this, would you really be making the Easter baskets? I think that isn't like all we've ever seen over the past like six years. It's just a cycle. Right. And it's like constantly, it was like Instagram stories. Here's what real looks like.

It looks like having perfect hair being perfectly dolled up Starbucks cup in a car. Right. And then it was like, no, that's not real. And then it was like, no makeup, no hair, that's real. Yeah. And then everyone adopted that as a strategy. And it was like, okay, well, that's not real anymore. Now we're to like TikTok.

I'm feeling worn out. I'm gonna be honest with you. Like, I'm worn out and social media is giving me the ick. Like, I even give myself the ick sometimes. Like I watch it. I'm like, ugh. I know. That's why I can't, I can't watch anything.

It's hard for me because I just know too much. And I think that everyone else is, I think everyone's two steps behind me. And I think they'll get there too. And so, but now I'm just like, where do I want to? is then consumers or creators. Consumers, I think, are two steps behind me. I think people are going to start, like, because you know why? Everyone, here's the beauty about YouTubeing, like, 10 years ago.

Guys, we could do anything, anything. No one realized how calculated it was. Because no one knew how the camera was set up. No one knew about the lighting. No one was, like, experienced it themselves. Now everyone is creating content. People know everything. So if you're going to, like, frame a shot and have something.

thing happened in that shot like we know that that was calculated we can't believe that this is just like real life anymore yeah and so it's it's just like I am feeling that people care do they think people are I think people care but they're like oh I can do this too now so now everyone's like I'm just gonna do it myself and so now what that's why you have so many people that are like and like I said this it's not a bad thing like I just I am it's giving me like I'm more now I'm exhausted I'm I'm exhausted I I'm like, what is real anymore? I'm too jaded. I can't even watch, like, people vlog style their lives anymore and feel inspired by it.

Like, I'm just now, I'm icked. Yeah, for me, it's hard to, I don't know if you feel like this, but it's hard to, because, like, from a technical perspective, I know that we could film that, right? And I know we could, like, set the camera up and set the light up. Yeah, and I might even try it. Let's be real. That's what's hard for me is like I feel like because I know too much, it's like I don't want to be complicit. Like I don't want to participate.

So how do we create content that isn't like that? Like I don't know. This is the rut. But here's it then. I think you just have to do it. Like there was a time where I really felt like it was a redeemable quality to be truly like real on the internet. Right. Because it was like everyone was doing very produced content.

and I think that we were just like, let's slapstick this. And it was real. It was very authentic and real to our lives. Now there's this whole other style of real, which is actually not real. It's more contrived. And I'm like, well, do we have to... But it feels so real. In order to be real, do we have to make this contrived content?

And that's just like where I get hung. I'm so stuck, baby. It's not funny. Me and you are both stuck. Because I'm like, I'll cross over. Do I need to? Like, do I need to go back to vlogging? Like, I'll do it.

You know me. Like, I'll be right back there. But I'm also like, I am just confused. And I'm not inspired by it myself. So I'm like, maybe if I just start doing it, I'll feel inspired. And maybe people will just take it for what it is and not like. It is so funny how therapeutic this podcast is because I've been wanting to talk to you about this for like probably a month. I know.

And it's just like because it's a rut. I would call it like a creative rut that we're in a rut. But to me, I don't want people to think that I'm coming from a judgmental place. And if I am, it's my problem, not yours. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm not like, I'm genuinely just. like trying to talk this out and figure it out because I am in a place where everything,

nothing really inspires me anymore. And so like I said, my problem, not your problem, not the vloggers problem, it's, it's on me. Don't get me wrong. But I'm just getting, because I know so much, I'm just not inspired. You know, it's so crazy too. And I'm going to make this like a layer more personal to you is like I think that sometimes, and most of 99% like we measure this, 99% of your audience is like, understand you're trying your best to be a good mom and all this stuff. but like the good moms are producing this type of content. And so it's kind of like, are they good moms? No, that's what's.

Just because I'm filming myself like, you know, cleaning my daughter's bedroom doesn't mean I'm a good mom. It means I'm creating content. It's very calculated of like what you are showing to be a good mom. And so the dilemma that I have is like a protective husband a lot of the times with you is I'm like, man, ah, like this whole story's not being told, you know, because we're showing these snippets that are very real snippets,

but it's not enough to convince them because the new style of quote unquote good moms is like I set up a camera. I set up a camera without making cookies or I set up a camera when I'm cleaning my my kids room and then I piece it all together. And I put beautiful music to it and like wow, she's an amazing mom. It's just so crazy because everyone is so good at being their own publicist now. Like spinning out this image of what it's supposed to be that that is like what has probably made me the most jaded in this space is like I feel like, Like if we wanted to do that, we could do it. And I think that we're very smart and we're very savvy. We know how consumers think.

But it's like, I just don't want to anymore. I'm like, oh, like everyone's doing it. Yeah. And there's this kind of like pride of innovation and originality that I have that I hate jumping on bandwagons of like this new style of good mom's law. Yeah, but it's just kind of the way that it works. Like you kind of just have to go with the flow. And so and sell your soul to the social media, most social media.

you know um so yeah i feel that and it's like my biggest question that i would want to ask some of these people that like i follow in sometimes um i wouldn't say envy but i like i'm like like you said i'm like wow she's a good mom like you know i would wonder if they get the same level of joy of giving their kids easter baskets without filming it like as when they do film it's what's happening to me no i'm just curious i'm genuinely curious because i'm like because i think if you're doing this for so long, it will, it messes up like the dopamine rush in your head. And it's like, wow, like, I just, I did all this hard work for what? You are so woke. Like, you are so, oh no, I don't want to be woke. No, no, no, like, in a good way. Okay. Like, you're, you're,

you're so, don't call me woke. You're so, like, it's so crazy. I, I've never heard these things come out of your mouth. But it's like, you get, you get this dopamine rush from giving your kids. And I'm just making up this example. I'm not even like, there's not. You're not. You're not, even like what's another example of stuff okay of giving your kids these Easter baskets and it's like wow like you get 6,000 comments of like wow Danny like you are such an amazing mom and then I'm like yeah like I'm gonna go give it to my kids and then I'm like oh I'm such a good mom such a good mom now if you did all that hard work without posting anything about it would you feel that same level of confidence and dopamine and probably not so then what it trains your mind to do is like Danny

go be a good mom on the internet go good like go do like go do you do do something else for your kids. Go like shopping for your kids and tie their shoes on camera because then like everybody will think, you know, and then it just, it, like, direct all of your content towards something that, like, maybe you're genuinely not feeling confident in. It's like all a facade. Babe, you might be one step away from joining the mom hate community. They're all.

Because, honestly, because I'm going to tell you something, this is how they feel. They're like, I'm a stay-at-home mom. I am, like, serving my kids. I have three kids. My husband works. I'm doing this all by myself. You, on the other hand, are making money from doing this. You're showing only the best parts of the snippets.

Am I a hater? No, you're not a hater, but I think that you just bridge the gap. Like, you just found empathy with people who find that social, mom specifically, who find that social media makes them feel a certain way. Yeah. That is unfair. So what do we do? Where do we find our worth?

Yeah, I don't know the answer to this because it's like, I think that the best case scenario of us leaving this conversation is you establish yourself as an ally to the mom hate community. Reddit, Reddit, I see you. I see you. I feel you. And they come on your side. I'm on your side. I come in peace. They say to you, she is one of us.

She understands. Let's adopt her. Yeah, but no, but here's the thing. I'm too much of an achiever. And like next week, I'm going to be hitting up those vlogs. blogs on TikTok. It's like, don't.

It's so funny because like what I was, I was like, maybe we should cut all of this from the podcast because next week you're going to have like 16 blogs. I'm like, I'm like, it's 7 a.m.

I'm reading my Bible, like, turning page. Like, is the camera on me? No, the Christians that do this are wild. Like the ones who like put on praise

and worship music and are like reading their Bible and very, they press play on the camera and they're like holding up their arms. Oh. This is so crazy.

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what what is the good of social media and the purpose of social media that we can lean into to be a light without like playing to the strategies that are just making people feel really compared to. And something I also have to wonder sometimes is like is our mindset just so jaded because of how long we've been on the internet and we've we've experienced so many changes in transitions and so sometimes I feel like we're more jaded than like the average consumer or like average content creator because even my friends that are like you know in the same spaces as me like a lot of them have just been going for six years I'm I'm like 11 going on 12 years yeah like that's enough time to really mess you up you know what I mean like there's some screws that are loose up in here and so like

sometimes I wonder, I'm like, that's why I genuinely do think maybe it's a me problem, not a them problem, or you problem. It's a me problem. But maybe it's not. I don't know. So it's an us problem. Yes, because we're one. But I also think, no, like, because I feel all the same things.

I think that the most challenging component, which is the irony in all of this, is that what made this conversation and predicament really hard for us was our kids. Yeah. our kids are, like we're trying to keep them off phones. Like we do not want them to be on social media. Do you want to go down the phone conversation? Yeah. I mean, it's all one.

I have two conversations that I want to segue. I want to take this. And like just so you know, we're kind of going a little off the cuff here. And so we're not following our script whatsoever. But I want to address two big conversations here. One, I want to go down the smartphones or the phones for kids conversation. And then two,

I want to fast forward a little bit because we're going to go over this later on in the show, but I want to talk about trad wives. Traditional wives. Traditional, okay. And so first, I want you, so just to set the scene a little bit here, we,

no, I'm sorry, this was totally my fault, it was not we. So we give Stella, or I give Stella, an allowance. So when she cleans up her toys, she gets like a quarter, two quarters.

Honestly, it's just like, whatever I'm feeling that day. It's really just to build the house. So like, yeah, I don't want people coming after. No, it's great. And like if you come after us, like, I don't care. Like, I'm so confident in what we're doing. And so Stratton, same thing.

He'll clean up his toys. I get him a quarter, two quarters. Like I said, is like how I'm feeling that day. It's very, like, chill. And so I keep telling Stella. I said, sell it. When you save up enough money, I'm going to take you to the toy store and you can buy whatever you want.

And she's like, yay. And she doesn't really understand. One day my assistant is over and she's looking, I don't even. but know how this happens, but they love to, like, look up, like, Princess pictures on her computer. Well, an ad comes up at big lots for this pink traditional telephone. It's like one of those pink telephones, like, that, you know, the numbers are like in a circle and it's like a bit, you know, has a cord and everything. It's so cute. So Stella shows it to be she goes, mommy, I want this phone. I said, well, at $7.99, we'll have to see how many quarters you have in your piggy bank.

Should we count them? And so we count them. I'm like, hey, micro, like a lot of money. Like I was like kind of shook. I was like, wow. She knows where we keep the quarters. Yeah, like, I was like, wait, she has like $50 of quarters in here. And so I'm like, Stella, you have enough money to buy your own phone. This is amazing. So we take her quarters.

We collect the $799 plus tax. And so, because I'm like, honey, you got to play. There's tax. Like, it's just real life. Let me teach you about the government. Yeah. I'm like, and this is where your money for the taxes goes. Poof.

And so she finally gets a phone. and she's so excited. Well, here's like another moment where I just got like railed in my comments. Really? Well, her phone comes in and Stratton didn't get a phone. So he was watching and like super upset. I'm like, sorry, he didn't work hard enough. Like, it's just, it's not my fault that he doesn't have enough money.

Slash, he doesn't know what he wants yet. He's too young. Like, he'll learn as he gets older and he'll come to me and tell. Yesterday, he tried to mop the poop. So he's getting there. He did. It's so sweet. I know.

And so, so everybody's like, oh my gosh, you got cell phone and not strat in a phone. And I was like, you're right. I'm a horrible mother. I'm going to order him a phone. So I go on Amazon and I'm like, toddler phone. First phone that comes up, it's like this little cute phone has a screen, but it's not like a, no, it was like a colorful screen, $29. But it's so cute.

It had like, it was like a blue, I had a blue case that was a dinosaur. And I thought, you know what? I've been such a bad mom. I'm going to order the $29 phone for him. Like, because I'm, I'm just like swimming in guilt right now. So I buy him the $29 phone comes in the mail and this thing is like legit. Like it reminds me. It's kind of like a like it does the same things that my first Motorola like flip or pushup phone did.

Like it has a camera. It has a flashlight. You can go to play songs. Um, you can play games. You can, uh, you can't take video and it doesn't have Wi-Fi or internet or anything. But like it just does a lot and it's touchscreen, right? So I'm like, this is kind of cool. But I'm also like, there's a lot of little toys out there that are screens that you touch and you.

So I was like, oh, probably not that big of a deal. Well, I give it to Stratton, but Stratton's just kind of distant. He's not really interested. Now, Stella is obsessed with the thing. Oh my gosh. She throws her old 799 Big Lott's phone out the window. She could care less about it. And she's like, mommy, mommy.

I love. So then I'm like, oh, so I also swiped up to it on my Instagram stories. and I'm like, I also feel really guilty about that. But like, I didn't know, but like a lot of people click on it because I was like, this is a great educational tool. It has songs, it has games. Well, she becomes quickly addicted to the phone. Like three hours later, I'm like, we have a problem.

And so I tell Jordan, I'm like, I think I made a boo-boo. And not only did I make a boo-boo, but I swipe up to this phone and I can't sleep at night. So then Jordan comes in and he is like a strong, you took a strong stance, right? Yeah, I have a very strong stance. against like our kids not having social media until they're like 16. It's not social media. This is a phone that doesn't even have internet or Wi-Fi. But I think it's like for me, the argument I made to you.

It's like a gateway drug? Yeah, we're like starting a habit of phones. See, could I just explain to you like my thing? Okay, so like you come from a place of fear. I come from a place of this is the future. You need to learn and you need to know how to like, you know, practice. and like that's honestly like my mind kind of went there for a second. I was like don't withhold, you know, embrace technology.

I know. And like I'm not, I was wrong. I was wrong. But are you? Like, I mean, I took such a hard stance and sometimes like I'm a better arguer than you. Oh, you're always a better arguer. It's so annoying. Let's talk about it.

So were you really wrong? Like, I think I was wrong because I think it was too early. I will say I was going to put, well, let me tell you why I think I was. wrong. Okay. I'm just, I'm going to get so much hate from this episode. It's not funny. I'm probably, this might be my last episode. I actually feel like you're doing great. Okay. So I got her the phone and then the next two days at school, she disobeyed her teacher and her teacher had to come and talk to us. That's true. About how, oh, I did immediately because I was so, I was ridden in guilt. I was like, and so she was so excited about this phone that she could not think about anything else that's all she wanted and so she

would just when she went to before school she'd say where and she would go hide it and then at school she was disobeying her teacher she couldn't pay attention she'd come home from school where's the phone and then the teacher would come talk to us and say you know stella is not paying attention or not listening to the to the teacher that never happens and I'm like like seriously I'm like I hope Gordon doesn't find out because I feel so guilty. Wow thank you for telling me This is actually like so validating to my argument. So I tell Stella, I say Stella, because you did not listen to your teachers. You cannot have this phone.

You cannot play with it. She is distraught, devastated. Well, the next morning she wakes up. She runs, you know, I get her out. She runs into my room. I was getting ready. She said, mommy, today I'm going to listen to my teacher and obey my teacher so I can play with my phone. I said, okay, but you can only play with your phone for 20 minutes after.

And when we say phone, just keep in mind, y'all, it doesn't have Wi-Fi. you can't call people. It's $29. It's like a screen. Like it's a play thing. And I'm like, you can play with your phone for 20 minutes after school if you obey your teachers. Okay, mommy, okay, love you. And like, she just loved me so much that day. That's so great. And so then she comes home from school again. She took her sunglasses and threw her sunglasses across the room in the classroom. That's not like Stella. So I'm like, this phone has a hold over my child.

So I let the phone die. she comes home from school and I'm like the phone is not working it's so cheap it's from amazon like i can't get it to work and she's like what mommy freaking out like it's not working and i'm so sorry so to this day she has the phone it's not charged it doesn't work the screen doesn't work but she just hides it and she just you can't she just pretends you know and i've come to peace with that and like slowly but surely she's forgetting about it um but yeah i think it caused some issues i think that she was so obsessed with it and I think it would have been like a gateway

drug like it would have been the thing that prevented our daughter from wanting to go play outside and stay inside and so there's a we share this on stories but there's a guy named Jonathan hate H-I

H-A-I-D-T and he wrote a book called The Coddling of the American Mind and now he just wrote a new book called The Anxious Generation and like I've been listening to interviews with him I forgot how I found him, but he talks a lot about how, like, our children, he talks about TikTok specifically. Like, TikTok, he acknowledges like a whole different beast and animal to compared to Instagram,

but he talks about like smartphone addiction in kids in particular. And, you know, what's so funny is when I took a stance on stories against like throwing away this phone, how many, did you see this? Like, how many teachers were in your DMs that were like, hey, I teach. eight year olds. I teach 11 year olds. I teach 13 year olds. And like people are not talking about the severity of like how bad this problem is. Like they cannot focus. The behavior is like completely because of the addiction to the smartphone. And then she talks about just like how they, there's like an emptiness to the kids, it seems like when they go outside and play,

it's like they just want to be on phones. Well, I think adults are feeling the same thing. So think about the child mind that is developing, like it's the same thing. And that's his argument. He's like, hey, like, you know, a lot of people call me just like a crusty old man that's like saying like, oh, this generation doesn't explain this. Because every older generation has something they look back on kids and they're like, back in my day, it was this. And he's like, this one, I'm arguing is a very different thing. Like it's a very different phenomenon to anything that like children have ever experienced before because it's truly like rewiring their brain and their dopamine receptors and their serotonin.

What did you say was the most important thing for kids? His argument was he, okay, so three things. One, he said that summer camps like are kind of a safe haven for kids because, you know, usually when you go to summer camp, you know, you're there for a week or two and you can't have your phone. So he's like, that is really kind of like bringing the kids back to realizing, oh my gosh, like this is so bad for me. You remember when you would like write your parents like.

or camp or people would write you. Yeah. And you just like, he was like, he explains that he like interviews these like 15 year old kids, 16 year old kids. And they're like, yeah, when I was away from my phone, like I felt so much less anxiety. I felt peace. I felt like I didn't have to compare myself, you know, and all these things. And then the second thing he said that's the most important for younger kids is like

unsupervised play outside. Yeah, why unsupervised? Because it allows for the kids to experience like, their own risk tolerance. Like yesterday, for example, we took Stella to the park. Oh, I hate that. My mom did that. It's okay. She, no, she does, she means so well. Like, no, I know. I was just like, no, this is so important. Well, but I think you and I, we're told them what that you and I were woke. We were woke. Like, we're woke. We're like, we're woke. We're reading the research. Yeah, yeah. So we were like, stop. Well, so what happened was

Stella has really like, God, she's kind of like grown out of her shell. Like she, when she goes to the park she used to be very timid and scared and now she's playing on all of the equipment and she climbed up this like monkey bar thing and i was pretty impressed how far she made it she made it all the way to the top and she got to the top and i are watching her but you can tell like she wasn't freaking out or thing but she started to like kind of look around like oh crap like i made to the top now what well my mom like sprints over to her and my mom's like mom's like mom no like let her figure it out you know yeah anyway no it's it's crazy it's like it's so unsupervised play outside allows for the kids to like determine their own risk and even if she were to fall off the monkey bars in a weird

way it like prepares her for life because what's what's happening and i never read this book but i think it's the argument he makes like in the coddling of the american mind he's like we as parents as a generation we went from kind of like corporal punishment like our you know parents were like spanked and like beat you know as kids like that was just how you punish them And so our generation like flipped and was like, we're going to coddle, we're going to make sure that you never feel danger, you're never hurt. And then it's made kind of like a super soft generation that's not prepared for the world. And he connects it to like universities where he's like, that's why these kids went to college and we're faced with all these ideas and just truly we're not like prepared for the trigger warnings and like all of the things. And then they would revolt and protest and all this stuff.

So he was like, so the question is like, why is it not being fixed? And he calls it a, I think it's called a collective action problem, which means that what parents are facing now, you and I, is like even if we wanted to not have our kids have smartphones until we're 16, the social pressure that we would face from our kids and other parents is so strong because it's very rare to find a school that's like no phones on campus. Like what they'll do is they'll say, hey, put your phone in your bag and they'll use it between periods. Yeah. And then Stella and Stratt would feel completely lost and burnout.

And that's why it's crazy. Like Amber Vins Box, who moved to West Texas, like I'm sure that that's what she felt she had to do is like move away onto a farm and be like, I have to break my kids. Do you still want to move to the middle of nowhere and live on a farm? No. No. but what I wish I would love to invent this together if you want. I had this idea of this. I'm a little busy and honestly, I got to start vlogging on TikTok.

I have too much on my hands. Hear me out. This is what I want to invent. Okay. So like, you know Cedar Creek Lake? Yes. Outside of Dallas. You know Long Cove, the neighborhood.

Yes. Yes. All the rich people. So it's a community. You have to like basically go into the community. You can't list your property on Airbnb. be there's kind of a culture to the community. They only allow for specific builders. So basically it's a mixed use community that's for a specific type of. It's like a utopia. Yes, but it's, yeah, it's more of like a

buy-in wealth thing for that neighborhood. It's an expensive utopia. I think that we should create a mixed-use community for like-minded parents. It's getting cult. No, no, no, it's just like a neighborhood. Like we live in a neighborhood, but it's like in order to get into the neighborhood, it's kind of like you agree to this specific set of values, like no phones. Like, we build a lot of playgrounds in this neighborhood. There's a community pool. And, like, because, like, don't you feel sometimes, like, the, what we're missing in our lives.

But then you don't have any diversity. No. Diversity, how? Like, race, gender? Like, economic background? No, you can. Like, it can be varied. Like, I'm not thinking economic diversity.

Economically, that's not going to make sense if you have all these different brackets all in the same neighborhood. How is it going to run? The neighborhood? Yeah. They can be different price points for the different houses, no? Okay. I just like, even if you, like, can afford to get into it, it's going to be a certain.

So you don't like my mixed-use community. I just feel like it's kind of... Is it giving commune? A little bit. Or maybe it's giving Walt Disney. We don't know. Maybe you're actually a genius. Isn't this what he wanted to do with Epcot?

Kind of. But like no phones. Play outside. Okay. I think if we don't invent this, someone's going to invent it. I'm going to be honest. Yeah. Because I think that the problem is so drastic and people don't, like,

parents don't know where to turn to fix it. Yeah. I think it's going to keep getting worse. Did you ever see that trip that Sarah Canuth took her, she took her kids to Australia and like left all the phones at home. She took her phone like to. Oh, I didn't know. She did this.

Yeah. So she went on this trip and it was like spontaneous. And she took her three kids. She was like, absolutely no phones, no screens. We're going to Australia. and we're just going to figure it out. And she didn't even like, it was like a very like last minute trip because I think she was so sick of it.

Sick of the phones and the screens. Yeah, we should talk to her. See, that's what I'm saying is like I really feel like the way she was feeling about this situation is how so many other parents are feeling. Yeah. And the craziest thing, this is the last bit of research I'll share from this book. So there's like this economic scenario where like he basically presented the kids a problem and he was like, hey, how much would it take for you to.

delete Instagram and TikTok off your phone. And the average price that the kids gave was $47, I think. And so it was like, okay, for 50 bucks, I'll delete it off my phone. Then he basically said, okay, if everyone else around you agreed to also delete it off your phone, how much would you pay? And the kids were like, I would pay you money to delete it off my phone. That's how I feel. That's how I feel about TikTok. That's how you feel about these vlog things. It's a collective action. Like nobody really wants to be on it. We just feel like we have to. Everyone knows what's right and everyone knows what it's doing to us, but it's like who's going to be the first to do it? Like, yeah, it's just impossible. And even if you're the first to do it, you're almost like giving up, like in our case, it would be

giving up all of our, the business that you've, you know, built over 12 years. But it's just, I agree. Yes, you're giving up your business, but I just have to say it's different now than it used to be. How so? Um, it's just like, I think when I first started, creating content, it wasn't as like addicting. It wasn't like it's just, it's just different now. Like I feel the changes and like I feel the anxiety. I feel things that I never felt when I first started doing this. Like it's just, it's different.

We should call Sarah Canis. Okay, I have to peece so bad. Is that bad? Let's take a pee break. Thank you for allowing me to have that bathroom break. I don't know if you've noticed the correlation between when we got, we got a spout put in our sink for like purified water because our, our refrigerator, the water spout is like so bad.

Yeah. And I've been drinking so much more water now. Have you noticed that? I have to pee like 18 times an hour. Your skin looks better. Really? It does. I'm telling you.

I've been drinking so much water. Do you, have you noticed that though? How much I've had to pee? Yeah. It's like the next level. Anyway, so my biggest issue with this and why I don't think there's going to be a resolve is because it's like we're able to identify. identify the issue within our children now, but I think the parents are so addicted to their phones,

too, that how can you deal with your children's conflict with the phone if you can't do with their own? Like, there's just no way. Yeah. And so... I mean, all roads are pointing to my Epcot community. I don't know what you're, you're kind of a hater on it, but I know that this is one of those things that you're going to come back around to. It just sounds like a logistical nightmare. For who? Just like, it just sounds like, it sounds like a commune. It sounds like a community. It sounds like a cult. Babe, it's no different than like... A neighborhood?

A neighborhood. With rules? No, not rules. Neighborhoods already have rules. They have HOA rules. Like, you can't rent. You can't do this. Like, for example, we own a rental property in this place out in Forney.

And they truly, every time we put... One of the tenants planted a fake bush and we got fine for it, you know? And so this is already like happening. It's just more a values-based HOA versus like an aesthetic-based HR. Then you're going to create like a sense of... shame over technology. Okay, I'm usually the extreme one. You're being very extreme about this and you're kind of crapping all over my

my F-card idea. Okay, okay. Anyway. I want to talk about the solar eclipse because I ordered the sunglasses for it. Yeah, you know that this has been on my calendar for probably eight months. You also said it only happens one time in a million years and it just happened in 2017. Well, did I say a million years? You said once every million years.

Well, I think I was just, I was embellishing just to get the- A little bit. And then the one before 2017 was a little bit. in 1979. And the one before that was in 1970. So Landon made this point. He did say that it seems like every year there is some type of planetary thing going on. And I was like, you know what?

You're kind of right. And every year there's a rapture too. Yeah. Well, there's a threat of rapture. Yeah. Because whenever something happens with the planets, people go a little cuckoo. They're scared. Yeah.

Which makes sense. I'm not knocking them for that. Well, it's going to be cool to see. it's not going to happen for another 20 years, I believe, in the United States. Yeah. So. It's supposed to rain, though. Really?

I just read. Maybe it was just a Doom article because the weather channel needs clicks, but. Well, you know, everyone is flocking to our neck of the woods because we're going to be able to, you can see it. You can see it from across the country, so don't feel like you have to come to Texas or Dallas to see it. You're going to be able to see it everywhere, but you're going to see like the clearest here. Yep.

And so. San Antonio is actually the best. Really? I've heard that San Antonio slash Austin is like the best. The best. So it's going to be having on April 8th. Mark your calendars. Buy your sunglasses on Amazon.

I bought them. I'll swipe up to him later. The grocery stores are going to be ransacked. You think? It's okay. We're prepared for that. Are we, though, with our toilet paper? I'm actually, I need to check the storage unit because I heard that they have rat problems.

So we'll see if they got in there. One thing that I was like, what I was listening to or reading whenever I was reading about the solar eclipse is that, Mark Zuckerberg bought a like, like, I don't know, $20 million house in Hawaii and has this like $100 million like underground bunker that he built. Yeah, but all the, all the tech billionaires do that. Do they? Yeah, they're all buying property in Hawaii and they're all, they all have bunkers. Well, I want a bunker too.

Yeah, I know. Me too. But like, why do they have bunkers? Because it's for the elite, the billionaires. Oh, so annoying. There's also like a place in New Zealand that has a bunch of them. I like New Zealand. You ever been?

No, I just like the people there. What are they called? Kiwis. Kiwis. I like the Kiwis. Seems like a beautiful place. Okay, but let me tell you something. Have you heard a cloud seating?

Oh, yes. They're making it rain. Yes, they're making it rain. And for so long, all of our crazy aunts and uncles, not ours, but everyone's crazy aunts and uncles were like, they're doing Kim Trails in the sky. Yeah. They're dropping this stuff from planes. and everyone is like, okay, crazy. Yeah.

And now it's like a... Confirmed thing. It's like a confirmed thing. Like there's this company. Everyone should go look it up. I pulled it up before the podcast. It's called make rain.com. Make it rain.

And the company is called Rainmaker. Rainmaker. And look at this website. It's cloaked in this just like beautiful... Oh, it's gorgeous. Making earth habitable. Making earth habitable. And if you scroll down...

Habitable. They said the United States pioneered cloud seating in the mid-20th century. So like this whole time we didn't know? This whole time, they're making it rain in the clouds by putting chemicals in there. And they said, he said, today China is the global leader in the field. Rainmaker brings the frontier of cloud seeding capabilities back home. So what's the controversy? Weather resistant drones, radar valuation, validation, new cloud seeds.

Why do people, why do people not like it? Because it's chemicals? Yeah, they're putting chemicals in the clouds to make it rain more. Ugh. I'm telling you. Things have just gotten so bad. I don't even know what to tell you. I mean, we're just screwed all of us.

Yeah. But so the lasers thing, I was out of that one. It's like the rain isn't even authentic anymore. Yeah. The TikTok isn't authentic anymore. I'm telling you. The smartphone. I was just, I'm overwhelmed.

We need a bunker. We need a bunker. Or? A neighborhood. And neighbor with strong ageo-A rolls. But it's going to be very expensive to join. So it's going to just be for the elite again. No, it's not going to be expensive to join.

There's no way that this is going to work without it costing money, babe. It's just not possible. Gosh, babe. What are you going to get, like, the government to pay for it? Okay. Anyway. I feel like Biden would be so down. Biden is down for a lot of things.

Anyway. Um, okay. Should we talk about San Antonio at all? Zanato? Wasn't that like four weeks ago? Yeah, but we never really talked about it. Should we talk about like the drama that happened? What drama happened?

You know at the event. Oh my gosh. Should we talk about the drama? Let me tell you what happened with this story. Thank you for reminding me, babe. Because you know what? I'm going to die on this hill. So you tell the story really quick of how,

we got invited to San Antonio and who your Latina aunt is for a second. Okay, so my mom's family, I've told you all this a million times, but just so you guys know the backstory, they own four or five shops at Mercado downtown in San Antonio. It has been there. It is like a historic market for years. When like people from Mexico moved to Texas or America, this was like a market where they set up and they kind of like held on to some Mexican traditions. So when you go there, there is a lot of, there's a lot of like tourism kind of. Like you see a lot of like the Mexican dishes, foods, flags. My family owns a bunch of them and they sell basically,

why can I not think of the word? Trinkets. Trinkets, but souvenirs, souvenirs. You can buy ponchos, sombreros, like, you know, though they have these like dancers and it's just like a really beautiful place to celebrate their culture. It's a very important staple of the San Antonio. And honestly like they're trying to get rid of it. And so my, my aunt is lobbying against like she literally goes and like spends her life fighting for this market because of like the history and how beautiful it is.

So because let me tell you, because I talked to her on the phone. Yeah. She said that what's happening is a lot of developers are trying to come in and knock the, the, the, the, community down, which would hurt Hispanic-owned businesses. Because there's a lot of small Hispanic-owned businesses there. It would put an entire community out of business. So my aunt called me and asked me if I would support it and, like, promote it. And I was like, absolutely, yeah. She was like, would you want to come have a meet and greet here?

And I'm like, I don't know. Like, nobody there's going to know who I am. Like, it's going to be weird. Like, who's this girl showing up? And she was like, well, I would really love for you to like shout out. So I thought, okay, well, let's have Divy get involved. And let's set up a tent. And that way people, when they come by, they actually have a reason to come there.

That way it's just like not because people are like, who's this girl? Like, you know? But I did tell people on my socials, but I was like saying for like the public for the market there. So Devy gets involved and to support the market, I invite a bunch of people. I think we had 600 people come. Like it was like amazing and it was really sweet to meet everyone. So Divi set up a tent. And as we are, as I'm going through the line,

and meeting people, I have no idea what's going on. But my employees are being, like, harassed by this man that is, we're set up right next to the main stage. And this main stage has a bunch of Tihano bands that are performing for this festival. And it's called Spring Fest. And my aunt threw the entire thing, okay? And it's right outside of my grandma's shop that my mom literally, like, was, like, pulled out of high school to help run.

Like, so this whole market, I'm like, sorry, like, this is my family. Like these are my roots and like Divy is there. We're also, it's just like a grand old time. And the win, win of all of this was we could have launched our product in the other city, but we were like, oh, this is an awesome opportunity to support Danny's roots, my roots. And then also like drive awareness to protecting like small Hispanic owned businesses. Yeah, we gave out some grants like we like to some of the female owned Hispanic businesses there. It was really, really special.

It was a wholesome time. It was a wholesome time. Like, a good old time. And just so you know, like, I also, like, was raised going to this market. Like, every single, like, every summer I'm there the entire summer. My mom and I used to drive down every weekend. And we would sell key chains and cats. Like, it's so weird.

Like, we're stickers. Okay. So, yes. Because you were in line. I was. So I have no. I'm like, this is just a beautiful event. It was supposed to rain that day.

The sun came out. It was an amazing day. And everyone is having a grand old time. Right. So there were probably like, what, 500, you know, 700 people who came to like say hi, meet our team, buy divvy, etc. So this guy had been sitting on the sideline kind of along this fence as and like looking at Danny.

So he's just kind of looking at Danny. And like you can tell he's a little bit, you know, catty snarling. He had already come up and talk to a couple of our employees and I had seen it happen. And I was like, oh, that seemed like a weird interaction, but we'll move on. And so I walked by him and he pulled me. aside and he was like, hey, he was like, you know that this is cultural appropriation. And I was like, and pointed at you. And I was like, yeah, he pointed at you.

That's what set me off. He was, he was basically saying like you, like this is cultural appropriation. Like what you're doing. What about my mom? Did he point to my mom? No, he pointed you in a line of people. Because she's straight up Hispanic. So it's like, what would you do?

I'm her daughter. Like, yeah. He pointed at you in the line of people. And I was like, I was like, I. I go, oh, really? I was like, how's that? And he goes, can you name me one Tahano band? Yeah, that makes you like more Hispanic or not.

Like, you can name a Tijuana band. I couldn't. Like, have you ever heard of Selena? I almost went there and I was like, no, don't do it. Also, Selena used to get the most amount of hate because she did not speak Spanish. She was Mexican-American. Like, and she played, she was the first female artist to play Tijuana music, but she actually didn't speak.

So she used to get the hate too, just so, you know. So I was like, no. I was like, but what does I have to do with anything? He goes, this is cultural appropriation because you are hijacking our culture for your own gain. And I go, hey, listen, man. I go, listen, man, I was like, do you understand why we're here? And he was like, no. And I was like, my wife's aunt invited us, you know, we're here to drive awareness to this market.

We're here to actually like serve the community. And we came here to drive awareness to protect this market square. And he was like, ah, and he like couldn't believe. He couldn't process. He couldn't process that your aunt was behind it and like, like, you're here because my aunt threw this entire event. So I'm like looking around and I'm like,

where's her aunt? Because like, you know, I grew up. Some of our employees are like, sir, he's a Ramirez. You don't even understand. I did not pull the Ramirez car because I never want to pull that car.

But like I was starting to get a little triggered because like my background is like, my, were all white, but with the last name Ramirez up in Illinois, and like literally got beat up and bullied because they were white, but with the last name Ramirez. In Texas, all the most of the dad's mom that was Hispanic. No, it was my dad's dad. Dad's dad. Full. And then moved into an all German community heavily. Yeah. That's why Jordan also looks very white. Yeah, I'm like, super white. And all the Hispanic kids growing up would always be like, like say the same thing. Yeah. They'd be like, Jordan Ramirez, and I'd raise my hand.

And then all, you're like, I don't belong. Spanish kids a dog in Spanish. And so I'm like starting to get a little frustrated because I'm like, man, this is not about that. Like, this is not. Who even cares about, like, at the end of the day, it's like my family invited us. And it's like, we're not hurting anyone. So you're already ahead of the story.

He did not believe that. So then I'm starting to argue and then your dad walks up. Oh, golly. My dad. He's like, he's like, hey, hey, listen, fella. He's like, he's like, Danny's aunt. you know, we're here for her. And so he couldn't grasp it.

So then your aunt walked by, okay? And I pulled her in and I'm like, hey, this guy is accusing us of cultural appropriation. I was so, I wasn't mad. I understand that, you know, he wanted that to be the narrative, but I was so, like, fed up with this, like, conversation. It was so unnecessary.

And then he asked your aunt the same thing. He goes, do you know a Tihano band? And she named three. Yeah. And he goes, ah, those are the oldies. And so, so when she explained, who she was and why we were here in the real heart behind why we're here, he completely gaslit me. He changed his whole narrative and he was like, oh man, I'm sorry. He was like,

we're on the same team. Like, let's educate each other after he had just berated me for like, and harass our employees. A solid three minutes. And I literally was so angry that I had to walk away. And that was that. But it was just like to me and he walked away too and your aunt was super frustrated and it was just like man this was something so special and like so and you had to make it divisive for like no reason like we were trying to all be on the same team like all drive awareness to this market square and because of some narrative that the media told you like you got you had a chance to be very tunnel visioned and assume that that's what the situation was and it's so divisive it was so annoying and i just got i was probably the first time in a long time i've gotten fiery

You've gotten fiery. Yeah, it's discouraging because it's like, man, what can you do right? Like, you know, you show up and you're like, I'm trying to support my aunt and my family and that's not the right move. But then you don't show up and you don't support them and then that's not the right move. So it's like you're kind of just in a lose lose. And I think that's why at the end of the day, like you just have to be confident in what you're doing and your heart behind what you're doing.

And but it's just really. sad that nowadays, like, you're going to lose no matter what, like, even if you're, you're trying to be kind. I think that's why I was so discouraged and frustrated is because it's like, okay, like you're telling me that there's a race problem in America. Okay, I'm listening. Like, let's, let's lean in. Let's figure out, like, how we can, like, ally together and fix it, but then it's like, oh, sorry, that wasn't good enough, you know? Yeah. It's like, how is anyone supposed to, you know, like, use their platform or use their resources to help if, like, that is the kind of response that you get.

And again, this is what's so hard about it is that was one person, truly. There were probably 800 people that we interact with. Yeah, no. And it really was one person. And we did not have any other conflict. But that one person, it's like so hard not to listen to the next thing of that one person. Well, they're harassing my employees. Like everyone on the team felt uncomfortable.

Like they were the loudest. And I just think too, like I don't mind having the conversation. But once again, I feel like it could be approached differently. Like, it's like, like, why could. couldn't he have asked more questions? Why are y'all here? Who invited you? Where did you learn about this?

He was laser focused. Laser focused. Just trying to prove your point. And that's where like it just makes it hard to all be on the same team when you come from like a place of wanting to be right and anger from the get go. Yeah. But I don't know. Like a good learning lesson for like Divy in our team though because it's like it was a great

opportunity. Like we're constantly telling our leadership team at Divi. We're like, hey, it's an election year. Like we're going to come into. this election year and there's going to be divisiveness on all sides of the aisle. And it's like the most important thing is for us not to lean right or not to lean left politically, but like just to unite on like what is human. Like what is the more universal thing that why is, why is everyone here at this divvy booth like kind of in the same, what sort of ties everyone together? And it was like, man,

we love our families. We love this product. And, you know, we want to be supportive of each other. And it's just kind of more simple and universal. Get people to get people to get. bring your family, bring your kids, have good food, like just community overall. But like I said, it's, I actually don't have a problem with leaning a certain direction. Like my thing is like when you lean to that direction, like do it because you genuinely believe in what you're doing and you, like even when that guy comes up to you and harasses you that you're still so confident in what you're doing that it doesn't bother you. And so like I'm okay with leaning into like I will support my family again. Like I will do that because I know.

that that's the right thing to do. And I know, like, you know what I mean? And I'm not going to be like pushed around because one guy got mad that I don't know what Tihano band. Like, um, so like I said, it's like if brands- I listen to so much to Hano music on the way home, you have no idea. Yeah. So I'm so educated. Yeah. He stings it too. But no, like I said, so it's like, brands want to take a stance or they want to go one direction or the other. Like, I'm fine with that. Just like be confident and like believe in what you're doing. Don't just do it because people are pressuring you to do it. As you all know, we are huge fans of Haya around here. The pediatrician approved super-powered chewable vitamin. Still and Stratton have been taking their daily multivitamin for

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there aren't those terrible ingredients in there that actually end up doing more harm than good. I'm also a sucker for good packaging, and with Hayas branding, it's super cute and fun for the kiddos. You get these cool bottles and stickers with your first order and then they send you eco-friendly refills every month. You can also cancel anytime. Of course I have a code for you all. receive 50% off your first order to claim this deal you must go to hiahealth.com slash janey Austin. This deal is not available on the regular website. Go to h-I-y-a-h-h-a-l-tH-E-A-L-T-H-H-T-H-L-T-H-E-A-L-L-T-H-E-A-L-L-L-T-E-O-S-N-E-E-L-T-E-E-L-E-L-T-E-L-E-L-L-T-L-E. Now I want to cover the trad wife, have you seen this trend? And I just want to say, we've gone off the rails, y'all. This episode has got... This might be the last. We might go down for this episode. I know.

We're going down after this. This will be our retirement episode. We're going to go build a bunker and move into it because we're about to get canceled. No, just kidding. Okay, so I want to talk about this trad wife trend that I've been seeing all over TikTok. So some women want to go back to the 1950s, and it isn't just for style, although they do look like they're back in the 1950s. A new movement made up of millennial and Gen Z woman looking to escape corporate America and live a quote-unquote traditional wife lifestyle have taken the internet by storm. A traditional wife is defined as a married woman who chooses to be a homemaker as a primary occupation adheres to or embodies traditional femininity and female gender roles.

These women have started going viral for talking about their role as a trad wife and what it looks like. It typically includes homemaking by cooking, cleaning, tending to the children, but more extreme cases include asking a husband's permission to go somewhere or to make a financial purchase. I'm like, okay. Many associate this movement with political motives, but to that, but to that some trad wives say it's 2023 and this is what I choose. That's such a good. Man, I want to be a trad wife.

Do you? Here's the thing about this. This is such bull crap because do you know, do you know how? this episode, go off. Do you know how long it takes to edit these trad wife videos? These women are girl bosses. These are the smartest girls on the internet. They're the ones that need to be running for president.

The persona that they're spinning and the narrative that they're creating is so like not really what's happening behind the scenes. Like these are the master geniuses. I want to be friends with all of them. So are they labeled on the internet as trad wife influencers? Yeah, they call themselves tradwives. Like they cook, they clean, they edit their TikToks, post TikToks, look up the hashtags. So like Ballerina Farms, is that a tradwife?

Um, I mean, she lives like a more like... She lives on a farm. No, I think that's different. But she's very traditional, yeah. But, but I mean, I think it's just one of those things where now everyone has to create a label to identify as something. Because I think there's actually a lot of traditional wives out there. And here's the thing, even if they weren't editing TikToks and posting... But they don't feel represented.

They just don't feel wrong. They're misrepresented. No, but I think that the funniest thing about this as a mother, and I would not consider myself like a trad wife, but like I will say the days that I am a trad wife, it's the hardest job I've ever had. Yeah. Like I'm telling you, it is the hardest gig you can have.

It is the most like taxing physically, emotionally. Like it's really, really challenging to be a trad wife. So like I think these girls like deserve some respect. Now there, I think that. people don't like the fact that some women are, quote, unquote, submissive to their husbands or that they're identifying as something that is more traditional. So I think people are putting a lot of these like stereotypes to them saying, oh, they have to ask their husband if they want to make a big financial purchase. And I'm like, yeah, no crap. I would too. Like I can't just go buy a Rolex. Like,

why I need to talk to my husband. Like, we have a marriage and like, it's healthy to have conversation about this. And it's like, oh my gosh, these women are saying, at home, like, breastfeeding the babies and, like, staying and, like, clean. I'm like, yeah, that's a lot of work. Like, you're the only one that, like, can breastfeed your baby. Like, you're, like, you probably want to be at home. You have this motherly instinct. Like, that's where you want to be, like, sometimes I fantasize about it. I'm not going to lie. Like, I am probably the opposite of a trad wife. And, like, some days I fantasize. I don't know. You're kind of certain to flirt. No, I know. That's what I'm saying. I'm flirting with

the line. And I'm like, some days I'm like, that I feel like would fill my bucket more than the things that used to fill my bucket. Honestly, sometimes I fantasize too about being a trad husband. You are a trad husband. I fantasize about it. Like in fact, like our little fraternity of Instagram husbands, I think we all sometimes fantasize about being trad husbands. Like true hunter gatherers, like we go out and we like hunt and then we bring home the bacon and the food. But why is it such a bad thing? Like if if people these days are praised for being identifying as furries and identifying as whatever they want. If some woman wants to identify as serving her husband and being more traditional, like, why can't she do that too? Yeah, no, I don't. Why is it so, I'll tell you why, it's because

it's associated with Christianity. And Christianity is like the biggest thing that just gets crapped on 24-7. We're going down, baby. We're going down, we're going down hard and I love it. I just telling you, like, it's like every other, every other thing can be celebrated and beautiful now. But if anything is rooted in, like, biblical or Christianity, it's just going to be crapped on. And like, it's just, it's just part of it like it's gonna be crapped on by that minority but nobody's like pushing it on anyone else it's like i'm a trad wife like this is what i do like if you don't like it don't look at it like okay let me ask let me make sure i understand for a second let me i want to understand the whole argument so trad wives are basically saying a return to more traditional views of what uh being a wife should

look like so staying at home with the kids like you know uh i guess where it goes a little extreme is like if you feel like you have to pin up your hair and look beautiful and like all that like I don't feel that way but are they really saying that is the question I don't know and I would have to go watch the videos they look like it but hey maybe that girl just likes to look good like I personally like I don't feel like I have to like look that good every single day sure I feel like I can just be in sweats and but like if you want to do that like my friend Janelle you know Janelle she's very like she gets dressed every single day she looks beautiful every day she's also naturally beautiful so I'm like, okay, cool, not fair because, like, you don't really need a lot of work.

Like, for me, it's going to take two hours. So it's like, so it's like, yeah, it makes sense that some of these girls are like, I spend 20 minutes and then I look like a gorgeous trad wife. I'm like, me, it'll take seven hours. By that time, I'm like. Okay, so I'm still catching up. So hold on. So trad wives want to stay home, more traditional view of like, like marriage and like man goes out.

Yeah, he's the breadwinner. I stay at home. I cook. I raise. Yeah. So, okay. And then some submissiveness in there. Submissiveness is one of those things that I don't feel like it's a, it's a biblical concept

that I feel like is going to be really hard for the internet to wrap its brain around. Because it's not like, it's not as domineering as it probably sounds as a word. Yeah. You know, but like submissiveness, like I feel like. It's like you want to be led by your husband. Yeah, you want to be led. You want to be respectful. Honestly, it sounds amazing.

Like sometimes I'm like, I don't want to do this. Like, just tell me what you do. You say that. You and I butt heads so much of who's sleeping. I am such a liar right now. Like I want, I know, but I think about it. And then I'm like, wait. No, you know what happens is you go three weeks on.

Yes. But on the gas of like, don't stop me. Don't talk to me. Stay out of my way. I don't need no man. And then you have one week of just complete burnout. And you're like, whatever you want to do. And then I step in the leadership role and then we flip again.

So, okay, so I understand trad wife movement. What I don't understand, what is the argument is, against it. I agree with your point that like if you can have any identity that you want these days, like why would this one be so controversial of all the other ones? I think the fact that if people are feeling like you have to stay at home and look beautiful for your husband and pin your hair up and wear this like pointy boob bra and these dresses and look a certain way, maybe maybe these videos are pushing that like concept. And also I think the I think people get really like turned off whenever it's like you have to ask your husband to,

like that makes sense. Like if you have to ask your husband to leave the house, that's controlling and that's really messed up. But it's like this quote says that they have to ask their husband to make big financial purchases. I'm like, yeah, I think we all should probably, you know. Yeah, but I think if the, it depends on like the temperament of the husband, I feel like, if the husband is like, hey, you better ask for permission.

Like that's like, that's domineering. But here's the thing, like, bottom line, these girls aren't trad wives. They're like evil geniuses. They're like working so hard. creating this content. They're girl bosses. Yeah. They're the smartest of the bunch.

Okay. So you think that the trad wife... They're making money off their TikToks. Okay. I'm trying to get... They're not staying at home moms. That's the funniest part. So you're not upset about the trad wife movement.

You're upset about the trad wife influencers. I'm not upset with anyone, really. I'm just laughing over here. Okay. You're laughing because you know it's completely unrealistic. It's just so... It's like a label to make everybody feel better. And then it's just like,

a trend, but it's, it's not real. Because nothing is. This is, this is Danny's most jaded episode on record. She's lost faith in all institutions. I've contradicted myself so many times on this podcast. Like, I don't even know who I am anymore. All I know is I need to get to TikTok vlogging about being a traditional wife. Like, you know what?

Yes, maybe you've contradicted yourself, but at least you're honest. You follow that one girl. I got to just end on this note. I cannot remember her name. But she does this where she does this. she like bakes and she always tilts her head a certain degree like this and she bakes and like she's always smiling and people are like I can't tell if this is satire or real you've seen her no oh it's so good honestly okay you were able to trace Stella's behavior back to her getting a smartphone

my ill I feel like we can trace your psyche right now back to when you started consuming TikTok no I followed this girlfriend I've seen her she's on Instagram too but I'm saying I feel like what's happened, I'm going to paint you a picture. Dave, you're kind of annoying me right now. You're sitting in bed and you're scrolling and you're getting all these new ideas. I got to learn what I'm going to talk about on the input. And your brain is just jumbled. Your brain is just jumbled. You don't, you're, you're like, oh, I'm mad at this. I'm mad at this. Let's, let's just watch the TikTok. No, I'm just trying to figure it out. I don't have to have all the answers. You're so right. I'm so sorry.

Anyway, this is why I'm not a trad wife. I still have to maintain my dominance. I know. And I have to very delicately dance around it. Okay, so before we end this episode where we absolutely did nothing that we were supposed to talk about, like it's embarrassing. How much? Like we had this whole script.

We had like five things that made you go home and we didn't do any of it. But these are the best episodes. Thank goodness we had something to talk about. I was like so concerned. What were your thoughts on Beyonce's album? I actually think it's going to be really good. I just heard snippets of it. I didn't think I was going to like it.

But there's a club with Miley Cyrus, Post-N-alone. Willie Nelson, I don't know if he's singing on it or if he just makes like a little appearance. Dolly Parton. She doesn't sing on it, but she does a cover of Jolene. I think it was really time for her to do something very unconventional and new. And I think she nailed it. So like I'm more so supportive of her album for like the originality of the idea of like getting the people talking again. Of like, oh my gosh, she's launching a country album.

She re-admitted herself and that's what you have to do. So I love it. Love the stretch. What do you say walking backwards and reamending themselves? Yeah, the greats are constantly, the, gosh, I forgot the quote, the greats are willing to walk backwards. What are the great's good parents? That's my biggest question. Probably not. Yeah, anyway. But maybe, maybe they can do it all, right? You know, maybe they can reinvent themselves and go from Instagram stories to vlogging.

We'll see. Well, speaking of TikTok and Instagram stories, we would love for you to follow us on De-influenced, because we're so funny over there and we clip up, we take every funny part of our podcast and make us look even funnier and clip it to Instagram. and TikTok, and it's just the best time you can have on the internet. It'll really make your mental health better. Okay, feel free to leave us a review, rate this podcast, and please don't cancel us. We love you. Bye.