De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan - Re-Listen: The Chaos of Influencer Friendships (and How to Actually Be a Good Friend)

Episode Date: May 21, 2026

Helloooooo de-influencers! Dani & Jordan are off in Nashville working on their new house (+ Dani’s getting her new teeth this week)... SO we graciously gave them the week off. Lucky for you - we have a fun re-run today! In this episode, Dani’s getting real about influencer friendships — the good, the bad, and the ones that didn’t last. We talk about what makes a real friend, how to navigate drama, and the pressure that comes with public relationships. We rounded up some great deals from a few of our favorite brands for you: Build your store, own your audience, and create something that lasts. Start now at shopify.com/dani Get prepped for patio season for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every style. Every home. Use code DANI at Monarch.com to get your first year half off at just $50 Learn more about Starbucks industry-leading benefits at Starbucks.com/partners Go to MySkylight.com/DANI for $30 off your 15 inch Calendar. Subscribe to our official YouTube channel, @deinfluencedpodcast, and follow along on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your De-Influenced fix. You can also find us on Instagram and TikTok at @deinfluencedpodcast. Thanks so much for listening and supporting the show! Produced by Dear Media Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. Hello and welcome back to your favorite podcast. The influence. That's right. It's me again. Another solo episode. I know you guys want Jordan to come back so badly. So do I.

If he had social media, I would tell you guys to all go bombard him and tell him to come back. But he doesn't. Well, he does, but he like never really gets on it. So yeah, You see him in person, let him know. He's kind of just off doing his own thing. He's a lot of projects and whatnot that he's been working on. And so he's a busy man, you know, I don't know. Maybe I'm going to have to pay him more per hour to sit down with me. Just kidding.

But I'm glad that you guys are here. That makes me happy. And I am still refining my skill of solo podcasting. Like I said, it's not for the faint of heart. But, I really do enjoy it. You know, it's so funny because I always have like two or three topics I think I'm going to talk about and then I never end up talking about them because I go off on some other tangent. So I have some topics. Let's just see where the wind blows us. I do want to do a little catch up with you guys because we haven't really caught up since I did the Janine episode. We kind of have like two weeks of catch up. You know, I'm kind of in that, you know, space in life where there's just not like a lot going on, which has been great. I cannot believe it, but it's like October, you know, what's today? I don't know. It's like first couple weeks of October and I still have not put up my fall decor, which is like, I'm just like, I can't believe it. But I'm kind of just thinking about like not doing it and just skipping to Christmas. It's a lot of work when you have to go from fall decor and then you clean it up so fast and then you go to Christmas and like Christmas is more than fall. And it's like, does anybody actually

appreciate it, you know, that's how I feel. I feel like nobody ever walks in my home and it's like, wow, I love your fall decor. And my kids don't say anything. In fact, they usually just throw up pumpkins around. I feel like Jordan gets annoyed because of the mess. So you know what? I'm just not going to do it. I'm just not going to do it. Maybe I will do it though. It's like all it really takes is like one day of being bored and like having a burst of energy for me and then everything changes. so we'll see what happened. What happens. But, man, since we've chatted, the Taylor Swift album came out,

the controversy with that one. Oh my gosh. If one more person sends me the Allie best duckie, is that you say your name video about why Christian should not be listening to Taylor Swift? I am going to go crazy. Like I, it is literally my whole DMs is filled with why I should not be worshipping Taylor Swift.

And I'm like, I don't. worship her. That's the thing. And like, if you're really upset, just go listen to Opelite and then ask yourself, is this really that bad? Like, you know, it could be worse. We'll get, we'll get more into that later on in the podcast. But you do have to consider what we were raised off of in the 90s. Like the amount of times that I said, it's getting hot in here, I'm going to take off all my clothes when I was 12 years old. Look, I turned out okay. I still have my clothes on. We're good. Um, anyway, so it was crazy that I went to go see Taylor Swift, uh, her, her, uh, life of a show girl in theaters where they showed the music video and then they showed the behind the scenes. It's insane what that girl does where she's like directing, but she's also in the music video, lip syncing to everything because, uh, they're always scared of her music getting late, late, or linked, leaked on set.

And so, because there's so many people on set that it's really hard to keep, you know, track of everyone. I've, all it takes is somebody hitting the record on their phone. So she dances and lip syncs to a metronome. That's just like and the dancers actually have no idea what the song sounds like. And so they have to make all these facial expressions even though they have no idea what they're dancing to. They literally are just dancing to a beat. So it's crazy. It was really neat to see the behind the scenes. She's very creative, so fun. And it's wild to see like how many people. actually go into creating something like that. So yeah, that was good.

I also saw Gabby's dollhouse in theaters. You know, like Jordan was saying, he was like, you know, the critics are still not confirmed, but it might be winning a couple of Oscars. It was, actually, it was a lot cuter than I thought it was going to be. Kristen Wigg is like the villain, and she makes it so funny and so good. And the music is kind of a bop. Like, it's really catchy. And here's when you know it was good.

We took Summit. And Summit paid attention the whole hour and a half. So if a nine-month-old baby likes it, I think you'll like it too. And you can pay attention too. But that was really cute to take Stella. Stratton even liked it. He's just, you know, Stratton's just there for a good time. You know, I had another girl's.

Oh, speaking of impeccable, have all ever tried? tried cauliflower pizza. It's so good. My friend Allie gets these cauliflower pizzas just from like Tom Thumb. And you know, they just look like one of those things that would be healthy, but like actually tastes disgusting. I'm not kidding you. It was better than real pizza, like a real frozen pizza. It's so good. And I don't remember the, I think it was called like nature something and had like a big lime green. So good. Like I've been like craving it every single day. And it actually is healthier apparently. So that's good to know. What else has happened?

We watched the UT game. They sucked. So that was bad. We were ranked and then now we're not. So that's a bummer. We played Florida and it was just a complete disaster. We planned a last minute trip to Nashville this morning. We actually planned it this morning.

We're going tomorrow with the kids. We're staying like just for 24 hours. We leave the next morning. Really quick trip because Georgia. has three plots of land that he wants to show me, like 10 acres each. And I'm, I still don't understand what I'm going to do with 10 acres of land. Like, do I build a theme park? Do I build 17 tennis courts? Like, do I, you know, make a trail so that we can take a golf cart through the trail every day? Like, I don't really understand why people would want 10 acres of

land unless you literally never want to see anybody ever. But I'm kind of in my extroverted era right now. Like I play pickleball twice a week to tennis three times a week. And it's like, yeah, I like to see people. I like to go and see that there's other humans on this earth. And so why would I want to live in 10 acres of land? Maybe if I wanted to farm, I'm deathly afraid of bugs. And I really don't like the smell of manure. So that one I've always kind of just been like that's really not going to happen. And I don't know. And, you know, I just, I get tired out in the sun so long. I just, I just feel like I'm not built for it. But you know what? I'm trying to just let Jordan lead us. See where, see where the chips fall. But at the same time, I've been very defiant in this process. But I also am trying to be

very open-minded. So we're going and we're going to look at three plots of land and then three houses. So we'll see what happens. Jordan's still really excited about it. And I'm like I said, I'm like, we'll just, I don't know. So that's what we're doing this weekend. We had Amazon Prime Day. That was big. What did I get for Amazon Prime Day? Oh, you know, the biggest thing that I got was a headband holder. I really wanted something to hold my new headband since I'm like newly. obsessed with headbands. Unfortunately, headbands are more expensive than I thought they were going to be. Well, the ones on Amazon, you can get for like 16 bucks. But if you really want something special, like something real nice. I mean, these headbands can cost over $100. It's ridiculous. I'm like,

I should start a headband business. I used to wear a ton of headbands as a kid. So much to the point where I think I have this like permanent indention on my head where headbands go. Like you think I'm kidding. I'm actually not. Like I really do have an indention and I've always thought it was because like, I was the headband girl in high school or, you know, elementary school. But then I took a break. I had a headband hiatus and I'm like kind of back. And I'm actually going to touch on that later on this episode because headbands are very Dallas.

Like there's kind of a Dallas uniform for like some Dallas girls. And it's like these like smocked like dresses, headband and then like Tori birch sandals or like a nice Chanel flat or something. And I always sort of myself. I was like, I'll never buy those dresses. I'll never buy those type of flats and I'll never wear headbands. I wear them all now. It's like it just because the more you see it, the more you wear it. And so yeah, I'm stepping into my headband era and I'm really happy because like things were getting a little boring around here. So just kind of spice it up a little bit.

Yeah, Texas OU is tomorrow, which will be hard because we'll be in Nashville. But I'm sure we'll be watching from our phones and crying from the car in Nashville. Let's see. What else? Oh, let me know if you have like any favorite restaurants in New York. I'm going to New York next week for, I'm doing like this like little TV segment like with Divi. It's not like that big of a deal. So don't worry about it.

It's just national television. Don't stress. That's actually why right after this I'm going to get my nails done because I figure I probably, my nails are growing up pretty. bad and I think I'm gonna go short I'm thinking about just like chopping them all off and just going as short as possible like as short as you can go without bleeding at the you know cuticle is how short I want to go um and then I might go gel I might go gel instead of dip so I don't know we'll just see you guys tune back in I know you're on the edge of your seats about that one um but yeah so it's been a pretty good week like I said I I said I've been

been saying no to a lot of things. I was supposed to go to Amazon Prime Creator Summit, which I was really excited about, but it's the same week as Stella's birthday. And I really want, I'm doing like this whole thing on her birthday morning. And then the next day is my birthday. I have literally no plans, not that it matters, but it just is. And like, maybe somebody wants to surprise me with something. I don't know. Maybe I just need to be here. You never know. And then that weekend is Stella's birthday. So it's just kind of a lot. And, I was like, I feel like I probably need to be here. And then what else? I don't know. The beginning of this episode, I thought I would start off with talking about like influencer friendships. Now, the reason

being is because every time I do a Q&A, I get asked about this, like nonstop. And being on the internet for 13 years, you go through a lot of different stages of like friendships in this space, not even just like influence their friendships with like industry friendships people doing similar things um it's it's hard because you you grow so much but like you meet some of these people like 10 years ago like laura bevelin has been my friend for almost 10 years which is so wild and we've just always you know stayed in touch we've always like you know really met with like a different even though we're in different stages of life we're always like it just is so natural um but then there's some friendships that you kind of just like grow out of and it's not even

because anything happened, it's just like you grow out of friendships. And that's just so normal. The only difference is that our friendship at one point was like highly documented like 24-7. And so then whenever you're like not friends with them anymore, it seems like it's this big thing. But like maybe it's not or maybe it actually was. I don't know. And so the best thing about where I'm at in the space now with friendships is I have literally no one that I wouldn't call or text if I needed. to. Even the people that like people assume that I'm not close with anymore, like I, I probably do text them at least like once every two or three months. And, you know,

maybe we're not like best, best, best friends. But like we're very cordial and like we have like a relationship of some capacity. And so that's kind of like the best place to be, especially whenever you really try to start building friendships that are going to make sense for your kids and like family long term. But I have had some like crazy. encounters and crazy things happen that, you know, I thought I would just like kind of refer to. And if you're going to try to like, you know, do this puzzle and like pinpoint which friend did what, you're probably not going to be able to because this is over the course of like 13 years. And so it's almost going to be impossible to be like, oh, I know what she's talking about or no. But like I guess I just wanted to talk about like I have had a lot of heartbreaks in this space. Like I think like I said, I just think it's natural. It's normal. It's normal. you know, people's insecurities or people's struggles, even mine that sometimes are like, they just kind of conflict with like another person in your life. And it's just like a not a healthy relationship. And sometimes it's just, it is what it is. But yeah, I thought I'd go through

that and then kind of just like share what I've learned about friendships in my 30s because things really do change. And especially when you have a family, you have to approach them so differently. And so anyway, I wish I could do like a two truths and a lie or like a true or false. And I read things and then you all can tell me if you think they're true or false. But I'm here by myself. So just all these things are truths. But so one of the first like craziest encounters that I had with the influencer friend was so I started out being with like, I was friends with this person that also was posting content of some capacity, whether it was YouTube, Instagram, blog, I'm not going to tell you. But it got to the point, and this does happen

in this industry where sometimes like you're like the same level as a friend and you know, you're both like whatever, everything is like just seems very equal. But then one friend, they get like a spike or they get like they get a really cool interview or they do something like outside of the norm. Well, I had kind of gotten like one of those spikes. And I have had a friend, a really good friend of my, tell me that when I look at you, it makes me want to throw up. You disgust me. Because my posts were getting more likes than hers. And that's a really, that's a really tough place to be when a friend tells you that. Because you, because you, want your friends to be happy for you and you want to be able to like not be you know jealous of

each other or you want to be able to support each other and um yeah that's hard to hear and how do you work past the one well i always knew that it probably wasn't personal it was probably coming from like an insecurity so we were able to work past it and i was like and sometimes i make the joke still to this day you know because i know that it's just like coming from an insecure place or maybe they're like down on like where they're at in their life. And, um, but yeah, that that one was like probably the first time that I experienced that where I was like, wait, but I thought we were on the same team. I thought it was like, oh, good. I also had a friend, this is so funny. Run away. Sorry, it's not funny. I had a friend run away on a trip to a bus stop.

This is true. Because we had like a group photo with like a bunch of friends and I posted the photo like first out of like everybody. Like you know like we're all like editing our photo. This is like a long time ago. We're all editing our photo and like I posted my photo first and it upset them so much that like I got mine up like 10 minutes before Thursday that they literally ran away on a trip to a bus stop. and wanted to go home. And I had to chase them to a bus stop and ask them what was going on and try to convince

them to come back to the hotel. And it was crazy. Like it was so crazy because I was like, I, that was also at the time where I didn't know that 10 minutes made that big of a difference. Did it even really make the difference? I don't know. But that was another crazy situation. I've had other influencer friends in the space that like I thought we were.

like good with like tell brands and this has happened multiple times and it probably happens to a lot of people tell brands like they won't work with them if danny works with them or if like danny gets this first or they get this first the friend will say hey like i will work with you as long as you don't work with danny or as long as you don't give danny that code or like as long as you you know and the thing is is that uh this stuff comes out like And I think people are trying to do it secretly, but it comes out. And so I have, and so it's hard because, like, I know, but they don't know that I know. You know what I mean?

And so that's always hard because, like, I'm going to be honest. When I'm trying to negotiate a deal or something, I'm not even really thinking about other people. And I always feel like we all have, like, our own lanes, you know? So, like, I don't, I wouldn't have even thought that those things would have ever mattered. but it can be hurtful when you think that they're like kind of like I said like on your same team. I've had people try to steal my employees like a lot and say like, hey, if you work for her, then Danny like if you want to work for me like you can't work for Danny. I've had people, I don't know, like, oh, I've had somebody was mad at me because I agreed to do a giveaway

with one of their like arched nemes, like their enemies. And that's hard because I'm just like, it's a giveaway. And like, it's not like we're sleeping in bed together, you know. Um, you know, and then I've had people stop like if you don't, you know, if you're not included and like whatever they're pursuing, then they just kind of stop inviting you around. And that's, that just happens. And that, that one was really hard for me because that was like back in the air whenever, like, Everybody was like always going to like Mexico and all these trips and I was always invited. And then all of a sudden I wasn't invited. And I was like, what the heck? And so that one was painful because I'm like, wait, I thought we were like real friends, not business friends. And so a lot of this stuff, uh, it's hard because like I always want my friendships in the space to be like actually like we're friends outside of like influencing. But it does get in the way. Like I've seen it how it gets in the way it becomes like competitive. And, um, it's i've had like some friendship breakups also because like i fall in love like fast and hard like i'm like uh if i like you like i i want you like i want you around and i will kind of put like

a hundred percent effort and if i put that effort in i kind of expect for us to be friends for life and then when I found out that like we're not going to be it's it is it's heartbreaking like it's it hurts like a breakup you know I've gotten better at it but that's why there was like also an arrow I was like I'm not being friends with anybody online like I feel like I was like so hurt and like so that I was like I'm just done like um but now I have really changed the way that I've because that's a nice thing is like the best part about having influence your friends or people in the same industry like friendships and this is like they just get it like there's so many like unspoken nuances that I don't even have to explain to them because if I was like with a with somebody that

didn't like understand you kind of just seem like you're being bratty like I'm like oh sorry like I just posted the story and I put like the wrong hashtag and like like somebody a normal like somebody would be like okay like what that's so silly why do they care but like if somebody has the same industry they're like oh I get it like I won't talk to you for like five seconds. Like just do your thing like repost it. You know, and it just seems silly and stupid to just be on your phone when it's like, oh, you got to get this thing up or whatever.

And so that's the nice thing about, you know, having people in the same space is like there's so much that you can relate on. And it's there's just so many nuances that we just, well, it's like we just see eye to eye. We get it. You can support each other. It's so much fun. But yeah, there's a lot of like heartbreak. So, which I think is just common in like any, this happens in the high school, you know, I remember this is happening in high school.

That's why this one girl keyed my car in high school because I made lieutenant of the dance team and she thought I was horrible dancing. And honestly, I'd tell everybody, I was. I definitely was. This is the time of year that everybody starts thinking about summer plans, trips, travel, weekends away. And then right behind that thought is usually, okay, but what's that actually going to cost? because it's way more fun planning a vacation when you're not stressed about your finances in the background. That's honestly why I like having systems around money instead of just guessing month to month. Monarch is the personal finance app that tracks everything, accounts, investments, savings goals, and spending.

Get your first year of Monarch for half off, just $50 with promo code Danny. What I found helpful is being able to actually see patterns clearly. There have definitely been moments where I realize spending in certain categories had slowly crept up without me noticing, and Monarch made it obvious immediately. I also like the weekly AI recap because it flags things before they turn into bigger problems. Instead of reacting after the fact, you can actually adjust in real time. And the visual side of it helps too. They have these cash flow views and diagrams that show exactly where your money is going, which honestly makes budgeting feel way less overwhelming. It's also useful for bigger planning stuff.

Like instead of wondering, can we actually afford this trip? You can look at everything in one place and make decisions with real information. And having that visibility just takes a lot of the mental load off. It really does feel like having a financial advisor in your pocket. Use code dany at monarch.com to get your first year half off at just $50. That's 50% off your first year at monarch.com with code Danny. Once the weather starts getting nice again, I suddenly care. so much more about outdoor spaces. Like all I want to do is sit outside in the evenings,

have picnics with our kids, drink coffee outside in the morning. And honestly, with Jordan and I planning our move and designing a new home, I realized how much I want every space, especially outdoor spaces, to actually feel intentional and like us. Because for the longest time, our patio was kind of random furniture we'd collected over time, chairs that didn't match things we kept saying we'd eventually replace. And it just wasn't a space we naturally wanted to spend. spend time in. And then we started looking on Wayfair and it made such a difference because there were actually pieces that matched the vibe we were going for. I also feel like outdoor shopping can get overwhelming really fast because there are so many options. But Wayfair makes it really easy to narrow

things down based on style, reviews, budget, all of that. And I love that you can basically do everything in one place, seating, rugs, lighting, decor, even bigger pieces. So you're not ordering from 10 different sites trying to piece everything together. They also have Wayfair verified, which is basically their shortcut to the good stuff. Their team bets products through a quality inspection process, so you feel a little more confident ordering things online. And honestly, now it feels way more inspiring thinking about creating outdoor spaces for this next season of life and eventually our future home, too. Get prepped for patio season for way less. Head to Wayfair.com.

right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R-com. Wayfair. Every style, every home. I feel like one of the coolest things about business these days is that you don't need this huge operation to get started anymore. You don't need an office, a giant team, or some crazy technical background. If you have an idea and you're willing to actually start, you can build something real. And for us, Shopify has been a huge part of that. As you guys know, Shopify is the platform we use to run Divi's storefront. And what I like is it handles all the complicated backend stuff so we can focus more on the actual business and creative side. Because the reality is once a business starts growing, there are a million moving parts, inventory, products, analytics,

customer experience, and Shopify keeps all of it organized in one place. I also think they've done a really good job keeping up with how people actually shop now. Your products can show up across Google, TikTok, YouTube, even chat GPT, basically wherever people are already spending time. And as someone who shops online constantly, we also love shop pay. The second I see the purple button at checkout, I know it's going to be fast. And from the business side, faster checkout means fewer abandoned carts, which matters way more than people realize. They also have Sidekick, which is basically an AI co-founder helping with analytics, reports, optimization, all the stuff most business owners don't want to spend hours doing. it just makes running a business feel way more manageable build your store own your audience and

create something that lasts start now at shopify dot com slash danny i don't know use your discernment and like who to really pour into um but i do feel like so much of friendships even if like you you aren't in the wrong and they are it's still so much of like looking inward and not looking outward Even whenever there's people that, like, for example, like when the girl ran away to the bus stop and I had to chase her, like, I literally, I'm like, that's crazy. Like, that's crazy. Like, I didn't do anything wrong. But I think that if it's a friend that you really care about and you want to pursue a friendship with, like, even though you feel like you didn't do anything wrong, it's still okay to look inward and be like, okay, like within, you know, with her insecurities and within like our friendship, like, what is something that I could have done different? How can I apologize? is how can I also maybe stand my own ground and say, hey, like, I'm sorry. Like, I think what you are asking me for is, like, unacceptable. And I'm not going to be able to be that type of friend. And maybe the friendship goes, you know, separate ways.

But just always looking inward instead of just blaming the other person because I've had a lot of friends, too, that are like, they get in these tiffs or these fights with other friends. And I'm like, hey, listen, I see both sides. And if you're not, if you're just going to be looking outward and blaming this other, person for everything and not looking inward, you're not going to get anywhere. And so just for the friends that I truly feel like it's really, I know their heart, I know where they're at. I always try to like look inside first.

So when I think a lot of friendships end with jealousy. Like I really do. And I think it's very easy in this industry to be jealous of other people because your numbers and your everything is like just out. public, you know? Like, it's not like, I don't know, when you're in a lot of other spaces, a lot of things are private. Like, people don't know, like, maybe if you got a promotion or they don't know. And maybe they do in some ways. But like in our careers, it's very public. A lot of things are very public. What brands you're working with, who you're with all the time, what friends you're posting

with, how many likes you're getting. And it's really, now that more people are on, like, Instagram, you compare yourself a lot more. And it's easier now to become jealous of someone. And so what I always try to do is I try to like check the root of the jealousy. Like if I'm feeling jealous about somebody like, is it really about them? Is it because maybe I'm actually just insecure in what I'm doing? Or am I finding like, am I finding my worth in my likes or am I finding my worth in, you know, what brands I'm working with? I always ask myself, am I compare? myself all the time. Like, am I online too much? And I'm just constantly comparing myself. And I'm never actually, I'm ever actually content with anything that I'm creating and anything that I'm doing. And I think

it's totally fair and totally okay to take a step back. I've had to tell my friends, because sometimes I've actually had friends come to me and say, hey, it hurts my feelings when you don't like my photos. Like I've had that actually many times. Or like, you never engage on my stuff or you never watch my stuff. And I have told them, I'm like, I just want you to know that this is like a personal boundary. Like some days I take breaks from online and some days I'm like totally at it. I'm on there. But to rely on me to consistently be like liking and commenting on, I can't be that type of friend for you because I have to take care of like my mental health and I have to say, hey, like there's days, you know, where I'm just with my kids on a Saturday. And I didn't even know that you posted.

Even though you're one of my best friends like, I love you. But you're not on, I'm not putting on notifications. I'm not doing all of that. And please understand that. It has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with the fact that I don't love you. It's just that like I'm taking care of my mental health. You know? And if a friend doesn't understand that and doesn't understand that boundary, then they're probably not a good friend.

That's why I don't ever, I never get like, people always ask me like, do you get offended when people share Nutrifle or share other brands and share? Uh, no. I really don't. I mean, there's some where like I get a little confused because I know that they're using to be behind the scenes.

But I really don't because, first of all, I feel like there's space for all of us. And I actually have had two really, really good sweet friends call me and be like, hey, Danny, like, Nutraful just offered me like X amount. Divi only offered me this amount. I think I'm going to take Nutraful. Are you okay with that? Which I thought was so sweet and like so respectful. And like they didn't even have to do that.

And I have a lot of friends that just like shared and like support Divi because they want to support me. And that's like so, so. sweet and I so appreciate that, but I would never ask someone like to not to not like not to do what is best for their family or for like their business. Even though I want I want divy to be able to afford everyone. Unfortunately, Nutraful is just like way bigger than us. Like they're like I don't even know how much they're worth but like they have massive influencer budgets and one day Divy might too. And so you better watch out Nutiful. I'm just kidding. We're actually kind of different.

Like you can use Divi and take Nutrifle. No, I, I, I, I, I, I don't take it personally and I hope that like when my friends see that I didn't like like their post or something, they don't take it personally because it's really, I don't think that social media is a complete reflection of like all of us, like of you, you holy or like me as a person, like a complete reflection of me. Like there's so much more like so much more complexities to a person than like, you know, just because they post with like five people on their Instagram doesn't mean that they don't have 15 other friends behind the scenes, you know? Like, I don't even think I post when I play tennis, but I play tennis almost every single day. But I don't post it because I'm playing

tennis. I can't do both, you know. So we all have like very complex lives. So anyway, and then I think that the most important, like, or not most important. One thing to keep in mind is it is so attractive, not even in a like loving or a romantic relationship, but also in a friendship. when someone is secure and confident. Like when I have a friend that I'm like, hey, sorry, like I can't come to Lake this weekend I'm hanging out with Ashley. And they're like, cool.

Like next time you're around, like, call me. And they're confident and they're like not offended or her. It's so attractive. I'm like, that's so cool. Like they're just so mature. But when you start getting butt hurt about everything and like you cause a scene about every,

it's harder to be friends with someone like that because it just, to me, it lacks a little maturity. You know, so my whole thing is like check yourself, try to find your confidence, try to find your independence, try to make yourself feel good about yourself in other ways than just like relying on everybody else's feedback all the time. Full and part-time Starbucks baristas get up to 18 weeks of paid parental leave. So as their family grows, they never miss a moment, even if they miss out on sleep.

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That's why something like Skylight actually makes a lot of sense. It's basically a shared digital calendar that lives in your home so everybody can see what's happening without constantly asking each other. And honestly, anything that reduces friction in a household is worth it. What I like is it's really simple to use. You can sync calendars from your phone, color code schedules, add chores, meal plans, reminders, and it updates in real time. So instead of digging through texts or trying to remember conversations from three days ago, everything is just right there. I also think it helps kids feel more involved because they can actually see the schedule too. It creates a little more structure without feeling overly complicated.

And especially during busy seasons, having one central place where everyone's on the same page just makes life run smoother. It's one of those things where once you have it, you wonder how you were functioning before. Go to skylightcal.com and use code D-A-N-I for $15 off your skylight calendar. that's S-K-Y-L-I-T-C-A-L-com code D-A-N-I for $15 off. You know, a big thing like with friendships I think is to like also be grateful. I think people like to be around people that are grateful for what they have. Like I used to hang out with people that have like way more followers or way more brand deals or whatever it was.

And I think that, you know, I always try to be grateful for like I would be get 200 likes on a photo and they got 200,000. I'd be like, 200 is really good for me. And they'd be like, yes, go, Danny. And they'd be proud of me, even though compared to them, it's nothing. But for me, it was something big. And so I think everybody's just kind of like celebrating their little wins and they're being grateful for what they have is also very attractive in friendships, which also, you know, kind of makes you reflect daily and be like, oh, wait, I have a lot to be grateful for. And I just love hanging out with people that are like positive. I love it so much. It's just it, it, it, um, not wears off on me. It rubs off on me. And I, it makes me a better person too. And I think whenever you get sometimes, have you ever been

like a group of girls and like they're all just complaining about like the food at a restaurant? And then we all just talk about how bad the food is the entire hour. It's like, why do we waste our hour just being negative, you know? And so, um, so anyway, I think just being grateful and reflecting is also really healthy in friendships. And then nurturing your identity and building your self-esteem and trying new things and learning and reading and investing in your passions and your hobbies and journaling, like just taking care of yourself. We'll put you in such a good place to like, if you're pouring into yourself, you can be pouring out to other people and other friendships as well. And I think that that's why some of these friendships I've had have gone south

where like people's jealousy or people's insecurities just like bleed out from within. because they're so empty on inside and like all their, they're putting all their worth on like a likes, the likes of their photo. And that's why it matters so much to them that I posted first or that I got more, whatever. It's just a, it's a disaster.

And so just nurturing your own identity outside of that. Communicating your needs to a friend, like I said. You know, I will, like, there's been some birthday parties of like some of my friends, kids that I have like been like, listen, I love you. I love your children. Like I want you to be in my life, but like I will not be able to go to like the birthday party because like I'm not in a good place. I'm in my first trimester. I'm feeling really depressed and this has nothing do with you. But like communicating your needs to each other and saying, hey, it would really matter to me though if you showed up for an hour. Okay. Okay. I can make the sacrament. You know what I mean? And then just like getting it all out there to prevent any type of like animosity. I think it's just really important to stay like in communication, creating healthy boundaries, having the conversation. I a very good, like my friend Sarah Rose is very confrontational, like in a healthy way. And she'll be like, hey, you know, are you coming Tuesday? Why? Like, you know, and she just like wants to get to the,

and it's very, like, helpful and very healthy. And then celebrating your friends because at the end of the day, we all are on the same team. Like, we really are. And it's so fun. Like, if you can just change, change your perspective with your friends and instead of being jealous of them, being like, whoa, that girl is my friend. Like, that's like, she's mine. She's my friend. Like, and she's killing it. It's so much more fun to celebrate your friends when you're just like, oh yeah, she's my daddy. She's my gal. You know, and like instead of feeling competitive with them, because at the end of the day, nobody can be you and nobody can be her. Like, you are who you are. Like I said, muting social media, muting social media accounts. I have some of my, you know, friends on mute because I just know I don't

want to like I want my friendship to be with them. I want it to be authentic with them. I don't want it to be seen through the lines of social media. And I think that that's totally healthy. And I have some friends, but I'm just like, you can put me on me. I don't care. It's like not real. Social media is not always real. I've always told people to have like a secret life online that you know is sacred to you, private moments that you keep private conversations. You keep private friendships. You keep private hobbies. You don't have to share 24-7. It's just really, it's a really healthy way to kind of live your life. And then my other biggest thing when it comes to friendships is just like to continually

like pray for your friends. Ask them like what they're needing to. Um, in their, you know, prayer life or what they're struggling with being vulnerable with them. Not feeling like you always have to share just like all the, the good things because like,

sorry, but like nobody wants to hang out with somebody that their life is perfect all the time. Because nobody's life is perfect all the time. Um, another piece of advice if you're struggling with just like, making friends or feeling like you have a group, become the planner of your group. Like dub yourself as like, I am the party planner and I will be the one to plan everything. And, you know, take the extra work on and make the effort to like plan events. It doesn't have to be really extravagant.

Like my thing is like I always have PJ sweatpants pizza nights at my house. I order the pizza. Nobody puts on makeup. We all hang out and sometimes we'll play games. That is not complicated to plan. I have some friends like Janelle who is. is like overachiever amazing at planning. She loves planning things.

And so she will like make it a theme or like make it. And that's great for them. I love that. That's just not me. I'm not like that creative. I don't really enjoy planning events so much. And so you know, it's kind of take like what you're interested in and,

you know, take it into like control and lead your group. And then what just happens is all just starts trickling down. Like then you're just, they start inviting you. You start building this group. It's like, yeah, sometimes you can't just wait around.

Like you got to, you got to be the playmaker. I love creating like rituals together with my friends, like Thursday morning walks or Tuesday, Thursday, tennis, or Bible study Friday mornings. Like those are all things that I do with some of my friends. And they're just built into like the mundane parts of your life instead of feeling like you always have to do planning these like fun events. Like just, you know, do a workout class together, do a Bible study together, do a cooking class together, go to the grocery store together, go on a walk.

walk together. Like, and it can be like a 45 minute thing. Like you don't have to hang out with your friend all day long. Um, but building some type of like weekly ritual is amazing. Especially like that's why I love football season. Like use things like football season to like make new friends because like honestly, I don't even think I really liked football at first. I just liked the fact that it was an excuse to come together and just like,

hey, do you want to come over and like watch the football game? And we never actually even watch the football game. No, I do. but like it's just use like cultural relevant things in life like oh the summer I turn pretty season finale I'm gonna invite girls over or um you know the Super Bowl let's do let's do a theme where we all dress up like our husbands for the Super Bowl I just have phone with it you know um and then like I said earlier is just make sure that you continue to share like the unpolished parts of your life too um you know be honest about your struggles um you know find depth in your in your friendships so you can like grow with honesty and don't feel like you have to like put on this persona. If there's a friend that I feel like I have to like put on a show for, it doesn't usually last long for me. And if they're not really like willing to go to that next level for me,

I'll still be friends with them, but it's just like not really worth it because when we get older, like we don't have as much time. You got kids. And it's like if I'm going to spend an hour with you, like I need, we need to go deep. So yeah, I mean, I feel like friendships, like I said, when you're 30, friendships are always hard.

I think my friendships were more challenging when I was 20 than they are now. Maybe it's just because, you know, we kind of mature and we grow, but friendships are so important. And I feeling, there's nothing worse than feeling lonely. Like, I felt lonely for so many years when I first moved to Dallas because I was like so obsessed with work that I never put a lot of effort into my friendships. And when I, when I feel close to my friends, like I feel like I could like conquer the world. I feel like I can do anything because I know no matter what happens, like I'll always have this community to like fall back to. And I know these, I have these people that like really fully know me. And I think that's how God like really wants us to intend, like to live our lives is like to be known

and to have people supporting us. And so, um, yeah, if you're one of those people that just struggles with friendships, just know that I've had a friend tell me that my face makes someone to throw up. There you go. Um, so. anyway, there was other, this was like an interesting, first of all, I asked on my Instagram, I was like, what do you all want me to talk about in this podcast or dive deep into? And someone said pop culture, they really want to know more about pop culture. And I haven't been so into pop culture lately, but I do think this conversation about Bad Bunny performing at the Super Bowl halftime show is really interesting.

So for those of y'all that live under Iraq, Bad Bunny is set to he agreed to perform at the NFL halftime Super Bowl, which has been crazy because it has triggered a lot of kind of cultural backlash. So Bad Bunny is he's a singer. He sings in Spanish. He's from Puerto Rico, which just, if you guys don't know, that is considered like American. So, A lot of people are upset because he sings in Spanish. And they're like, that's not very American. I'm like, yeah, but he's from Puerto Rico. So it kind of is.

But yeah, he's kind of gotten like a lot of backlash. And I get it. He's very, I don't understand all the lyrics to his songs, but from what I do understand, they're pretty raunchy. So it is kind of weird that he's like performing at like a very family-friendly half-time Super Bowl, you know, event. But like, does anybody remember when Justin Timber, like, ripped off Janet Jackson's top?

Like, that also wasn't very family friendly, but that happened. But anyway, so in response, Turning Point USA is organizing a competing All-American halftime show, which I thought that there was other drama because if you guys follow Corey Ashbery and Forrest Frank, Corey Ashbury is like a big Christian singer and he posted like I don't know maybe a week and a half ago or so about how when Bad Bunny was announced he wanted to build his own family friendly half time show and like Forest Springs that he was in like a bunch of like Christian artists were like yeah like we're in like let's do it and all they needed was like a TV network well and like a lot of money to make it happen so they had been kind of like throwing out the same idea and I was like oh my gosh I love forest frank I was like let's do it it be great and then turning point USA like you know a week later said that they were doing the same thing so then it kind of like

broke it kind of like there was just more drama because there were there were two halftime shows that were kind of competing for the spot outside of the real halftime show anyway um don't we just love like christian ticot drama it's just it's crazy um but apparently Turning Point USA and like Corey and Forrest Frank have all like decided that they're going to do something together. So that would be great. So if you're not into Bad Bunny and you want to watch something more family friendly, that will be going on, which I'm actually really excited about because, um, just personally, I don't think my, my kids are going to be into Bad Bunny. I feel like who's this guy? They don't know any of his music. And so it'd be really, we play like praise and worship in our house every morning. So I think my kids will love it. Um, you know, like us parents were all about family friendly, you know. Um, um, um, But I just thought it was interesting, like, to think about or talk about how a lot of people were objecting to bad bunnies, like musical style, his public persona, his criticism of the president, his use of Spanish lyrics, his gender fluid style. Like a lot of people are just, like, upset about that. He decided not to tour in the U.S. because his fears of ice, which also adds up. He has a lot of probably like Hispanic people. that come to his shows since he sings in Spanish. And so, yeah, I think my biggest thing is that people don't understand that Puerto Rico's in the U.S. That part just like really, I was like,

guys, come on. But like I said, I did want, I think the best way to kind of decide these things sometimes because you have such opposing views. And I believed this with, I saw a post about how someone was really upset with Taylor Swift because she was advertising Target and they were like, she's leaning too much into consumerism and making people go buy this and buy that and then she sells this and then she sells that. I think the best way to decide these things is just to have an open market and let the markets decide. Instead of getting so upset about this or that, I feel like it's always going to be divided and there's always going to be like, we should do this. know you should do this. My thing is like let the markets decide like everybody put their best foot forward

and like it would be if you really are so opposed to this type of person like performing, then put your money where your mouth is and go watch the Forrest Frank version of the halftime show and blow it up into something that we all think it is. So instead of, sometimes I feel like it's it's not as helpful to just talk crap about one thing when we should just be like praising and like getting so excited about another thing. Does that make sense? It's like we send so much time being negative and being upset about something when we should just be like talk about what we love, you know? Like do we really have to push something down to make something else greater? I don't know.

Maybe. And I guess it depends. But so yeah, my thing is I think it's really cool what Forrest Frank to Turning Point USA, what all they're doing with this halftime show, especially because it's going to be family friendly. And especially because I think there's going to be a lot of Christian artists. and it'll be airing like literally during the halftime show. So you can just switch over, go watch it, let your kids watch it, and then tune back in. So I'm excited about that. So I thought I would share that with you guys if you're looking for something more family-friendly.

Speaking of Taylor Swift, this album has gotten a lot of criticism. And there was one real or one TikTok I saw that people were like, this is definitely bots. But I don't think it's bots. Taylor Swift's album has gotten a lot of pushback. When I personally think the album is very playful, joyful, it's like radio-friendly if you take out the explicit words and catchy and goofy, especially if you listen to her interviews,

like her song Wood, which has these kind of like sexual innuendos like Wood, you know, or what does she talk about? I'm not going to say, but you guys can go look it up. But like, for example, the morning that it, that it played or that it came out i played it for stella and strata and no just stella and i listened to the whole lyrics i had no idea it had it had anything like any innuendos i just took it

for face value i had no idea what i was talking about um but people are saying that it's like jarring it's over sexual it has essential lyrics to it the innuendos are too much i kind of feel like it's just goofy personally. I just feel like she's being silly. And if you watch the interview, she's like, I don't know how it got. It started out so innocent. And it really was about, you know, these superstitions. She was writing a song about superstitions. And then they just started having fun with the lyrics. And then it just got it turned into what it is. The song actually romantic is a disc track. And a lot of people said it was like petty or mean or immature. They said it lacked emotional depth. I must be a dummy because I thought it was emotionally

deep. My theory that I had on people not liking the Towers with album was like if you have a low IQ, then you love it. And if you have a high IQ, then you hate it because it doesn't like challenge your intellect enough. Some of other people's theories are that if you're a happy person, you love the album, but if you're an unhappy person, you hate it. I don't know. Um, Father figure probably had the most provocative lyrics that were a little cheap and risky. It interpolates George Michael on the song Father Figure. So a lot of people think that it has to do. It has to be about Olivia Rodriguez because she interpolated one of Taylor Swift's songs,

but didn't give Taylor Swift credit, which interpolated is like when you take a part of their song and then you build on top of it and you make it your own. And so because she interpolated George Michaels on Father Figure, they think it's all about interpolation or whatever. And they're convinced it's about Olivia Rodriguez. Because Olivia Rodriguez used to be obsessed with Taylor Swift, kind of like her mentor. And then Olivia interpolated her song.

And Taylor got upset and made her pay her for it. And Olivia's like, why do you care? You're like this massive superstar. I'm like, nobody. And why are we fighting over this? Cancelled is, I'm pretty sure it's about Blake Lively. But I don't think that they're like good. I don't think that they're like friends now.

I think that she just kind of like wrote the song as kind of an olive branch, but I don't think they have any intentions of being friends. Wish list. People hate it because they just think it's so cringe. I think it's so cute and so relatable. Like we needed some Taylor Swift songs that we could sing about our husbands and we finally got one. You know? A lot of us are kind of sick about sick.

Like I can't relate to a breakup song. I can't relate to it. And so it's at least we're singing to everybody now. so a lot of people said it was underwhelming compared to our old albums that romance doesn't speak like heartbreak does which is probably true

they said that the trajectory moved from introspection folk and pop just all too soon I just really don't care what they say I thought it was great and I love to listen to it and I don't get sick of any of the songs and it just puts me in a good mood

I think that for me it's just really not that deep you do have to think about though the lyrics that we were raised on and how we turned out okay okay like Britney sears I'm a slave for you do you know like I started singing that when I was like 10 years of I'm a slave for you and then like we're all doing our belly dancing um hit me baby one more time yeah I mean that's pretty bad for like an eight year old to be singing like I don't really think like opal light is that bad completely compared to some of the Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears songs, I'll take you to the candy shop.

I'll let you lick the lollipop. The amount of times I've sang that in like sixth grade, you know, not grinding, but like trying to grind on a boy. It's ridiculous. And like, we're okay. To be honest, y'all, I didn't even know what it meant. I'm not saying that is okay. But I'm just saying it wasn't that deep.

We all liked the beat. It's getting hot in here. So take off all your clothes. That was a really good one. Yeah, by Usher. Yeah, we know what that was about. I want to make love in this club. We used to sing that all the time.

So the last topic I want to talk about is something I was not intending to talk about. I actually was going to talk about if Cabo is safe because, well, it kind of goes a little deep. But essentially, there were some, like, Trump had some, like, military strikes. on these like both struggling or smuggling drugs. And then two banners were posted by the cartel in Cabo, like where people go visit, like threatening Americans. So I just wanted people to know that just in case you're going to Cabo soon.

Like just look it up. I don't know. I mean, I looked it up. It was real. But y'all just do your research because I think that they're mad that we are striking their drugs and they're having a harder time getting drugs into the country. So just not that I want to talk about the car. tell on this podcast. But I just, you know how this podcast goes. It's a smorgasbord of just Danny's

brain. So now let's talk about porn. I told you. So I wasn't planning on talking about this, but a lot of what I mentioned on this podcast is just like what I'm learning or what I'm, you know, listening to over the week. And so Bonnie Blue was recently interviewed on modern wisdom, which I love that podcast. It's just, if you are just like bored and you're doing something and you want to listen to Modern Wisdom is amazing. He covers so many different topics and you learn so much. Well, she was being interviewed by Louis Perry.

Luis Perry, sorry. And for those of all that don't know who Bonnie Blue is, Bonnie Blue, her real name is Tia Billinger, is a British adult film actress and content creator. So kind of like a porn star. she was born in 1999 so how old is she oh my gosh she's a baby jennie if you're born in 1999 how old are you are you born in 1999 oh weird okay so you're 20 she's 26 um the big thing that put her on the map even though she's become like i think a big a big i don't know if she's only fans or what she does but um she became pretty big online i remember hearing about it in

january she slept with a thousand fifty seven men in 12 hours uh which that's eight 88 men per hour. Wait, how is that even possible? You have to do it like, they each have like less than a minute. Oh my gosh. Oh, Lord.

That's just, it kind of makes you sick a little bit. But they did an interview with her because Louise Perry is a journalist and she's very like conservative when it comes to like the sexual revolution. And she's really trying to kind of fight what's happening in in

just like society with like porn and she's trying to like you know advocate for a lot of this to be illegal so you had really two different opposing views but when she interviewed Bonnie you know and she tried to understand if she had been traumatized at a young age or like struggled with mental health or why she does this

and I mean the only reason she said was really just for money Like she just, it's good money. She's like, I get paid. I don't care. I don't get grossed out. I'm not traumatized. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Bonnie's whole point was, you know, if you're, because something that they brought up on

the interview was like, don't you feel like you're like ruining marriages? Because a lot of married men come to her. And for content. And she's like, no, if you are struggling in your marriage or something is going on, like that's between you guys. That has nothing to do with me. and the fact that he's there means that there's a bigger problem that I yeah so that's kind of like her reasoning I'm not saying I agree with it I'm just telling you that's what I heard on the podcast um a big thing that

they cover on this podcast is like just because someone has consent does that mean that there aren't coercive forces like economic need inequality or gender norms that aren't influencing that choice um because there probably are um Bonnie blue's whole thing is that like sleeping with someone is a hobby it's really not meant to be anything more it's just a hobby and um i don't know it it kind of like just really scared me like listening to that whole conversation because i know that the porn industry of porn is just so dangerous for a lot of men families women relationship um what typically happens with like people or men or anyone that's like um you know views that type of content is usually they, each time they need something more and more to like fulfill their needs.

And so then they turn into like crazy fetishes and like weird things. And then it becomes inappropriate. And then maybe they're pushed so much that they're watching things that are illegal. And it's like just a really bad slippery slope that a lot of men would probably admit to. I have some like crazy statistics, 64%. Also, if you want to like, if your kids are around, I don't know, maybe you don't want them to listen. to this part. I'm not going to say anything like really vulgar. It's just all facts, but still, maybe you don't want your like children around. So maybe just make them put it out of the room.

But 64% of men under the age of 25 really want like there to be more, like stronger laws in regulation on porn, which is up from 51% in 2013. So they, they want to be more conservative. And the reason is, is because they know that porn is essentially like ruining their lives. let's see 91.5% of men from 18 to 73% consumed porn in last month. That's 91%. That's almost 100. And 60% of women did. Young adults 18 to 25 show higher usage, probably because it's so accessible and they're probably more savvy than like an 80 year old man, which is sad. But it's true. Fifty-seven percent of young adults are consuming it monthly. 20% of men use it daily. It's so accessible. One of the other crazier facts is Pornhill reported 42 billion visits in 2022. 42 billion. That's insane. It's so, it's so scary to think about. So, I don't know. I just wanted to go through like, because I, with the sexual revolution, you just had all these

people that were like, hey, it's not that big video. It's not that deep. You know, it's like Danny listening to Taylor Swift. It's really not. that deep. You don't have to, you know, make, you don't have to, like, you know, slat shame girls for this. You don't have to, this is empowering for women. This is just the norm. We shouldn't be so ashamed of talking about it. And I totally understand those arguments. If you don't have a faith, then, like, why would you care? Like, why it, why would you care? You wouldn't have any morals. And I think that that's kind of the scary thing about people that don't have, like, values or faith is because there's really no boundaries to anything. Because if that goes,

then what's to say, why can't we get married to animals? Or why can't, okay, if we can be, if we can identify it as a goat, then if I identify it as a goat, then I'm not a 17-year-old kid. And then beastiality is okay. And then this is okay. And then you can marry this person or marry this animal and like it just goes like so far that there's like literally no morals to anything and there's no limits on anything so you kind of just can reason your way into whatever you really want to do and you don't really have to be held accountable or have any consequences for anything but um just if you are one of those people that's maybe interested in having values or having um you know being interested in like what god says about sex because it's very clear that

about what God says about sex in the Bible. And I think it's the, I think the reason why God puts these, like, you know, not these rules, but like the way he builds it, the way that he builds it and intends for us to live that way is truly to, like, protect you. Like, I really think it's to protect us and to like help us live, like, the fullest life. And not because he's trying to like take things away. Because God created sex. The Bible says sex is good. It's sacred. It's designed. It's designed. and by God. It unites a husband and wife in love, intimacy, and partnership. Sexual intimacy is for marriage, which is very clear in Hebrews 13-4, which I think is also a big thing that like a lot of Christians hate to admit. They're like, they just, they'll follow all the other things in the

Bible, but like when it comes to waiting till you're married to have sex, they're like very, that one just goes in one near at the other. And, but I really think it's to like protect us and to have like the most fulfilling marriage once you are married because then you don't have comparison. You don't have. You know, it's not like these men come in with like these crazy fetishes because they've been having like doing all these other crazy things. Like it's just very pure and it's really easy to like connect with someone when you just feel both like very like honest and pure. You know what I mean? So I really do think he does he like says. this to protect us. He says in the Bible that sex is about love, intimacy, and joy. It's not just about reproduction. It's not just about having kids. Like, it really is to build, like, a deep connection. It's celebrated a lot in Song of Solomon. Like, if you want to hear crazy stuff in the Bible, like, you wouldn't even believe this stuff is in the Bible. Like, it's crazy. It's very sexual. But it's in Song of Solomon, you can go read it or don't if you, you don't know.

Bibles thinks about the misuse of sex, like protecting, making sure that you protect your heart and trust and protect your family. And then also the fact that grace always wins. So if you do make a mistake, just know that God does have grace and like it's going to be okay. And we can always ask for forgiveness and everything we do. So it's not like, oh my gosh, you ruined your life because you didn't stay sexually pure. Like that's like any sin we can always repent.

And that's like the amazing thing about. Christianity is that like we all are sinners. We all do make mistakes. But I think the reason why God like plan things this way is because he wants the best for you and he wants you to live like the most fulfilled life. And so I don't know. It just kind of goes back to the fact that like all of these things will probably always be available. As much as I mean, I would love for porn to be outlawed and for it to be illegal and for you know bonnie to like have a change in heart and for it to be less socially acceptable to you know post pictures of yourself naked online like that's crazy but um but at the same time it is a broken world and like will that ever happen i don't know like we can advocate as much

as we can but as christians like at least we have some guidelines at least we have we don't have to listen to society at least we know that we're like called to a different standard um it breaks my heart because i know that a lot of men like get caught up in it and like they don't want to be. Like they don't want to be a part of that. They know it ruins their lives. They're like, man, I wish it wasn't out there. I wish it was harder to access. It's so easy to access now. And so I think for men, it's just really important for them to like be honest and like communicating with their community and other men and like talking to, you know, therapists or whatever that they need to stay like off of that stuff because I really do think it ruins relationships.

It ruins marriages. But that's something that they're going to have to like pursue themselves. especially in the meantime when this stuff is so accessible. And there's as much as I want it to be like an excuse and to be like, well, it's the Bonnie Blues of the world that are ruining this, that are ruining marriages. And it's the only fans and the porn hubs of the world. Don't get me wrong. It sucks.

And I wish it wasn't out there. But at the same time, we can't just be blaming like the temptations. Like we really have to like protect ourselves a lot from all of that. And like you know what's going to trigger you. You know the spaces that like, like that's why um like Jordan is so he's very like careful about what he exposes themselves to like there's like this like website or app I can't remember what it's called and I wish I could tell

you all because it would be so helpful but Jordan like learn that you can like install it to like Netflix or whatever and it literally will just take out all of the sex scenes and movies um and so you sometimes you're watching and it will just like skip like 15 seconds and like you just know oh, they just did it. Like, it's not like, you, it doesn't, like, ruin your viewer experience, but it just kind of takes that part out so that you're not even really tempted with it. Because at the same time, it's like, we want to watch the Netflix show. You know, like, we want to watch what's going on.

But sometimes that stuff, especially for men, not saying it's not for women, too, but especially for men, it's too much. They can't handle it, you know? And it's at least, at least men know, like, at least men know and they're able to admit it and they're able to say, like, hey, I need to have these certain. like apps of my phone that lock me out of this and I can't get onto that or um it did show they were talking about in this podcast that I think recently it was only on it was on only fans that you now or maybe it was porn hub like you now have to like submit a picture of your like license or something

you have to like register yourself now when you do watch something and it showed that it it limited the viewership by 50%. So like anonymity is something that increases like porn usage and when you are held accountable to your actions it shows that it does decrease so i'm really hoping that like more things like that happen where like you are going to be held to a higher standard and like maybe it's like it's made public if you are somebody that's consuming i don't know i don't know um but it's just so crazy because it just seems like this industry is so massive it feels like we're fighting this uphill battle because it's like an addiction that a lot of men have. And especially as like Jesus and, you know,

religion or whatever faith you have gets pulled more and more like further away from society, it just is like anything goes. And so it's really important for us to like stick to our boundaries and our values because otherwise we're all going to be marrying goats out of here. That's all I have to say. So anyway, you know, I've been talking. I've been just jabbering for an hour and six minutes. So I'd love for you guys to just, I don't know, what do you think about the episode? Just don't tell me about how you miss Jordan.

I do too. I know it, okay? Maybe you just tell me things. Maybe tell me about other deep dives you want me to do. Some people actually like it without Jordan, just, you know. It's not a lot of people, but there are, there is a little niche out there that like these solo episodes. So thank you guys for that too. But make sure you check us out on Instagram at DeInflints, DeInfluence Podcast and TikTok at DeInfluence Podcasts.

We love you guys. And we'll talk to you later. Bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.