De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan - Soccer Mom by Day "Con Artist" by Night

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

What's up, De-Influencers?! Another week, another pod. In this episode, Jordan and Dani discuss their new challenge of becoming"soccer parents" to Stella, which leads to an impromptu counseling session led by Jordan, which results in multiple stories that you will. not. believe. Hope you get a "kick" out of this one, because soccer season has begun here for the Ramirez fam. Love ya!

Hello and welcome back to your favorite podcast. De-influenced. Whoa, you changed the tone. I know. It's because I'm having such a good day. You've been on fire the past four days. The amount of rooms that I have organized in these past five days, I am on a role. Like, do not, do not mess.

I will come in with a trash bag and it's like a weapon. I'm like, and I just put everything in there. What's the cause of your new happiness? My new found joy, Marie Kondo. Really? No, no, no. I did start to. kind of like, you know, I would hold things and say, does this bring me joy? Or have I worn it

in the past two years? You know, she's a, we talked about this on story, she's off the game. I heard. What happened to her? So she had babies. So for y'all, for those of y'all that don't know, she was like an organizing expert. She had her own Netflix show and she would teach you how to organize your house, essentially. Yeah, and what to get rid of, how to approach inanimate objects. Inanimate objects. So what happened? I was reading about it. What happened was that she was doing that all before she had babies. And so then she had kids and then all of it kind of went out the window.

She was like, oh, this standard that I'm holding myself to is like unreasonable. That is so, yeah, it checks out. There's a lot of standards that used to hold myself to. Like, for example, working out every day, Monday through Friday was like a thing. I was like, oh, when I have kids, I'm going to work out every day. I don't care. self-care. Yeah, no, it doesn't happen.

No way. Same thing with, you know what, always makes me laugh when I used to say, I'm going to have kids and they're going to fit into, like, my lifestyle. You know, if I want to travel or, like, because I want them to be like, you know, they can go to nice restaurants.

I want them to just, like, kind of fit into my lifestyle. Like, do you remember how much we used to say that? Yes. I had a friend say that to me the other day. Like, like, they're like, yeah, we want to travel with our kid or we want to get this stroller. So we can, I want them to fit into,

my lifestyle, like, we don't want to slow down. And I'm like, like, yeah, I mean, I would say that the, that was what we thought about really, probably the most, like early on with having Stella and then having two was just like that kind of, I would call it very idealistic vision of fitting them into whatever we were doing. And it was like, no, no, no, we need to change quite a bit about what we're doing to make this fit. And I mean, honestly, I think that now that we've experienced it twice, I think that's the best way to look at it is that your life is going to totally change. Your travel is going to totally change. Like, you're not going to be doing the same things anymore because it just, it's on a, it's not even good for the kid.

Like, yeah. But I will say it was easier to fit them into our lifestyles when they were like really small before they were a year old. Yeah. Like when they don't walk, like it's so much easier to go to a nice restaurant and they just sit there. But once they start, like, we can't take sell into some of these nicer places. It's like not fair to her either because they don't have like that attention span and then sometimes I feel like it's not totally fair to take them to a nice place and then just put the phone in front of them I think that we should in in the I mentioned this last week, but I'm building a program for our children that will span when we go to places with them What vacations we delay for right you know age that they are

I think that there are certain like trips that you should save until they're this age, you know or that Like I wouldn't even take like Stratton and Stella. Actually, I think that they're now at the age where we should take them to Disney World. But before, I don't think it would have worked. Well, I think for, I think what you're talking about with travel, it's unique to each family. Because maybe you're going to Disneyland for like your marriage. And that's something that you really enjoy doing together. Or maybe you're going to the beach because you like need a physical break.

And so I don't think you can speak that into like every family. But for us personally, having two. under two, which they're not two under two anymore, but they were. I think that for us going to Disney is the best. Yeah. I think like we've gotten really good at lessening expectations to, like for example, Stella's soccer. Like I think that if this was a year ago, we would have gone into that and we would have felt like failures because Stella didn't want to play soccer, right? And it would be like, oh man, like what did we do wrong? Like, you know, we would have just been frustrated, not at Stella, and probably not even with ourselves, just the situation because of Xx.

expectations. And now we're kind of like, it's okay. Do you want to tell people what happened? Yeah, you tell them. So I'm going to be totally honest. This was an experience with Stella that I didn't know how to act. I don't know the difference between encouraging your child to do something and then pushing them to do something because my parents, I feel like my parents signed me up for everything. And if I committed to it when I was older, like I had to stay in it for a year. But when I was, But when I was two, like, did they force me to stay in something for a year if I hated it? I could see Tornado doing that. I would say my mom probably did.

Like, I hated softball when I was younger. And my mom was like, you signed up. Like, you're playing. You're going to every single practice. You're going to every, like after school. We're going outside and we're throwing the ball. I think that's a great rule. No, it is a great rule, but she's three.

Like, you know? Yeah. And so, anyway, we signed still up for soccer. Very similar thing happened whenever I signed her up for ballet. y'all she got to soccer yesterday and she was screaming crying did not want to participate wanted to go inside she was like why are we outside it's hot like she's like we asked her a cello why don't you want to play she goes because i want to be a princess literally her words not mine the cutest thing i've ever heard in my life um but then you know jordan i are on the sidelines and we're trying to encourage her

push her out there we're literally pushing her to go kick the ball and she's like no i don't want to i don't to. And so it's one of those things. Do we still encourage her because we know that it'll be great for her people skills, for her to get a little like, you know, vitamin D for her to be around other kids? Or do we just listen to her and say, okay, let's go back inside and play with your dresses? Like, I don't know. I don't know either. It's, it's tough. And so instead we kind of met in the middle. We said, okay, you don't have to play, but let's watch and let's cheer on all of your friends. And so, which she didn't do, but at least. And then Jordan and I just started kicking the ball, showing her, you know, how it could be and how it's so much fun.

And then the soccer practice ended, which was so cute because it's only 30 minutes long, you know. And all of her friends left, everyone left, all the parents. And then she wants to kick the ball and she's going crazy, having so much fun playing quote-unquote soccer. But I don't know. What do you think the difference is? And like when do you start implementing those rules with your kids?

Five. You think five? Six. But if they don't learn it when they're two, why would they learn? it suddenly when they're five, this doesn't have to be something that's instilled. I know. It's kind of like sharing though. Like I've heard for, I've, I've Googled this a lot because I'm like, Stella will not share

with Stratton. And it's like, there's a certain age where it's like, like global parent psychologist or child psychologist believe like, hey, they really are not at a place where they can comprehend this at age two. But shouldn't you still speak on it? Like let's share. So what? So because they're two, we're just going to be like, okay, yeah, like you don't have to

share? Well, no, we still try and enforce it. And honestly, she has gotten better. Yeah. She has gotten better. And so I think that you like keep pushing. But again, I think that this is more like you set the right rules, but it's more about our expectations. Like I will say this. Like when we walked up to this practice, I don't know if you felt this. Okay. So there's all these other parents there. And we don't know them. And all the other two year olds are like going while kicking the ball. They're having so much fun. I mean, there's one kid that it was like the next line on messy. Like he was amazing. I was like how did, What have you done? Did you get him a tutor for his striking? But I will say that a tutor.

You mean a coach? A coach. Big sports guy. So we walk up and, you know, Stella doesn't want to play, right? If there were not other parents around, like I probably wouldn't have felt that much pressure, but we don't know these parents. And like, you know, they don't know Stella. So we're like, oh my gosh, are they going to think that we're bad parents because Stella doesn't want to play soccer?

And for the first time, probably ever, you know those parents. that coach their kids through middle school or like the dads that are on the sideline who get really upset. That was both my parents. Are you kidding me? My dad was coaching me, pulling me out of game saying,

Danny, you go up the sideline or block number 10. Like my, the coach never told me anything it's always my dad. Right. But for the first time, I've never understood

the parents that like almost like make it their identity. And I think for the first time I got it when we walked up to Stella's two-year-old soccer practice. Stella, get in there. Don't embarrass me. I'm not saying,

I felt it, but I get how the slippery slope happens, where it's like more about the parents and what it says about the parents than anything else. And so, you know, I thought we had a great attitude about it. We were like, this is funny. Our kids are two. But if they were 10, 11, 12, you know, and Stella acted like that, I could see our reactions being a little bit different. It's got to be hard because, you know, at the same time, because what I was thinking on the sideline, I wasn't thinking about, and I totally like, resonate with what you're saying but for me i'm like man she's missing out on so much fun like i want her to have fun and experience it and have friends and like and have all of that and so but like i can't force her to want those things when she's two right so yeah i don't know but i agree with you i think we're going to set some rules when it comes like once maybe she's five we say okay still you want to play piano because this is what my mom did dan you want to play piano okay i'm going to go out and buy

like a second like we bought like a piano for like 200 bucks yeah we moved it into our house my mom's like you're gonna go you're gonna have practice or lessons um once a week and you will practice every day after school for 30 minutes and my mom made me and I hated it like three weeks in you know the first week I'm like I love it three weeks in I hated it my mom said you committed to it so this month next year you can quit but like up until then like you're doing the recital you're doing everything and then you can quit and then a year later she let me quit I kind of want to go down a little bit of a journey. I'm reflecting on my own sports experiences as we're talking here.

And we are very similar, you and I, but we're very different. And I've said this. I think a lot of it has to do with the way that we were raised. Okay, so you were raised where your mom was like, if you sign up for something, you go through the whole year, they really encouraged you in sports. Not only that, but if I was in a sport, so let's just say I played volleyball, then I also would go to every volleyball camp. I would have a private coach.

If I played volleyball, I also had, I was doing other type of training. My mom would find other coaches to train me in agility for that sport. So like it wasn't even just a sport. It was like five other supporting activities to support the sport. And would you say that your parents did that in the spirit of helping support what you seem to be interested in at the time? Or to teach you teamwork, to teach you discipline? Do they use sports as a backdrop to kind of like shape,

your character. Oh yeah. 100%. Yeah. They wanted me to be great at anything that I was, that I wanted to be great in. And like my mom was going to, it wasn't really my dad so much. Like my dad just showed up. But my mom was like, if you want to be in soccer, you're going to be the best possible soccer player. Like you will eat like a soccer player. You will go to all the training. You will go to extra camps. Like we're going to make sure if you're going to be in it, you're going to be the best. Okay. And I wasn't the best. But I was like, but she, gave me all the tools if I wanted to. And I would argue objectively that later in life, you carried a lot of those disciplines, that teamwork, that everything else into adulthood. In fact,

one of the things that we've always deferred on is like you always like to hire people that have a sports background, like females that have a sports background. And I never understood that, but let me tell you why. Because I am, so you're A, let me tell you about B. Okay. And I'm going to tell you about B in the form of three stories that are quite traumatic that I'm going to revisit on this podcast. So experience number one is, you know, I played baseball, peewee. Just peevee. I mean, the cobras. This is probably like fifth grade. Okay, so it wasn't T-ball. No, not T-ball. It was baseball. Not T-ball. No, I made it through T-ball. Baseball was a hard sport for me because you know, you're standing at the plate.

You got your parents behind you, your parents' friends, everyone's watching you at bat. It's a very high pressure game. I played left field, which is the easiest position out there. That's the funny. I did too. Yeah. And so it's the reason I made the Cobra's. It was a select baseball team.

The reason I made the Cobra's was because Parker Pinnington, his dad was the coach. His dad and my dad were friends. So you can't just like cut a kid, no matter how much. much you want to win. Parker was good. Everyone else was good. It was a really good baseball team, but I was like kind of just there to be in left field. So I made the cobras and that was great, but I never liked baseball. And so my parents let me drop it. Okay. So they had the mentality and the style of saying, okay, well, if you don't like something, even if you only play three games, we'll get you out of it. Right. Second, you know, thing is in the similar vein, I tried out for,

Your braces too It's a good example Yeah that's a whole story But you know I remember trying out for golf And I played one round of golf Like I took like two lessons that my parents let me sign up for And then I played one round of golf But you had to play three days for the tryouts

And after day one I was like You know I don't I don't really want to try out anymore And my parents just let me drop it And they called the coach for me I remember that Ooh, see, that's big. Like, my mom would be like, you're going to go tell the coach and you're going to explain it to your teammates. Right. That's a big thing.

My mom would say, you're going to go call your teammates and tell them you're not coming to practice today. Yeah. And the third sort of like most traumatic side of it was when the yellow jackets, the football team, select football team started. Parker's dad was the coach. And this is where I really, this is where I truly stopped playing sports was, it was like a pretty competitive league and you had to try out but I just kind of wrote on this thing like oh I'll get in because Parker's dad's the coach and they didn't they cut me and I didn't make the team with all my friends and after that I really never had the confidence to feel like oh like I'm good

at sports so like I'm just not going to try now tell them tell them for now present day you always say I'm kind of a sleeper athletically no I think that you have potential and And that's what's so hard about it. That's what's so sad about it is I feel like you never got to unlock your full potential as an athlete. But like Jordan is really good. No, I'm really serious. Like he picks up a basketball. He's shooting it.

He's got the form. Like he's really good at balance. So he's good at like skiing, I'm sure like skateboarding, wakeboarding, anything like that. He's very, you have good balance. And then football. Like you pick up a football. You learn one time you pick it up so fast for me. I don't even feel like.

I had that natural athletic ability. I just, within sports 24-7, some people have, like, the natural, so I feel like when you have, like, a natural ability, you know, mixed with somebody that's dedicated and shows up, it, like, those are the best athletes. For me, I just had the dedication and hard work. I never had, like, the natural ability. Okay, so here's the value lesson here. Okay, so you have Danny's parents that race or, and we're not saying, like,

my parents were bad, her parents were bad, my parents were good. We're not saying that. It's just different styles, right? So you have Danny's parents that were, like, very, much like holding her to discipline, pushing her into sports, and you have this like character development that happened from it. So my parents had a mentality of like, okay, you go figure out what you want to do. So like I started playing piano. I got good at piano. But I would kind of jump from thing to thing. I never learned consistency. I never learned teamwork. I had to learn those

things on my own, probably in business, like later in life. And I think that when we can I talk about before you move on though? Can we talk about that those were the pros of each of the parenting types. Can we talk about the cons? Yes, let's do that. That's really smart. I will say like, so those were the pros of both types of parenting, but for the cons, I had like immense anxiety as a child. Like my performance anxiety, I never felt good enough. Like I was so hard on myself to this day.

I'm never happy with anything I do because I never feel like I'm good enough. And so, and I really think that stemmed from sports, which it was like trying so hard and then feeling like I had to be perfect in a sport. Like I, to this day, like, get, I can almost make myself feel sick thinking about, like, serving a volleyball and getting over the net. Wow. Like, it really tore me up. And back then, we didn't talk about anxiety.

We didn't know what anxiety was. But, like, for example, we played volleyball games on Fridays. So, you know, you wore your jersey all day to school, and it was, like, this big thing. Fridays, I couldn't eat. I literally could not eat at school because, you know, I was so nervous and anxious about the volleyball game on Friday. And then Friday night would come around, we'd play. And once I start playing, I was fine, but I was so nervous and anxious for how I was going

to perform. I didn't have fun. Wow. I hated every single sport that I played, except for tennis because I didn't have teammates. Yep. And I felt so, I felt like I was letting people down. I was so scared about being like the girl that had to serve the winning point and then missing it, and then we would lose.

It literally destroyed me. And so there's that side of it too. Like it's sometimes it's maybe not everything. Are you taking a picture? No, I was just going to get a little clip. So yeah, I mean, that's one side of it that like I don't look at sports as something that I enjoyed or that it was fun. I look at it as something that like I failed at. And I never played in college, which was like the ultimate goal.

And so I feel like sports is a failure. Wow. Do you, let me ask you something. We always talk about how this. podcast is kind of therapeutic. Yeah. You know, like everyone's talking about the nervous system these days, like shocking your nervous system.

That's why people cold plunge because then it trained your nervous system to like deal with stress better. Yeah. I've always felt with you because you carried some of that into adulthood. No, 100%. The performance anxiety so much. And my parents, like, they did so much for me to make sure that I was the best at everything that I did.

And this wasn't their fault, but like I put that pressure on myself again. I'm like, my dad is. here. My mom is here. Like, they gave up everything to be at this game. They pay for all my private lessons. And, like, Danny, you're going to miss the volleyball, like, miss your serve. Like, who do you think you are, Danny? Like, that's what I would say to myself. Wow. I mean, is there a possibility that because you were, I mean, when did you start playing sports? Oh, and I was like, I mean, you know, three, like stellar. I've always had this like, like, you know, when you go get a massage, there's so much stress in your body.

Yeah. That they're like, this is the worst body of ever massage. Literally. When I get a massage, they're like, whoa. Like,

we've never massaged someone with this much tension and this many knots. I wonder if it's possible that your state of, like your benchmark of equilibrium, right?

Is like actually extremely stressed. Like you don't know what it's like to not be living with like pressure and performance, anxiety, et cetera.

Is that possible? No, 100% Like your body is like conditioned To be like this is normal for me You know what I contribute it to is When you clench your teeth Do you ever clench your teeth Like do it right now

And do you ever walk around And you realize that you've been clenching your teeth No I do I will be walking around Going from room to room And my jaw is clenched Yeah

Like just And that's how I feel my body is sometimes Just clenched And there's no reason It's just the way It's just like the way my nervous system works. It just clenches.

And I feel that all the time. That's why I'm so big on CBD because I feel like it gets me closer to my actual equilibrium. Okay, this is not planned, but we're going to do it. I want you to close your eyes. Like I'm clenching right now. Close your eyes. Okay. Take a deep breath.

I can't. Okay. Good. Now, I want you to imagine that you're seven-year-old Danny. Okay. Tell me when you. Yeah. You're seven-year-old, Danny?

Okay, your mom and dad are sitting on the couch across from you. Okay, you just finished a volleyball game. But you don't play until sixth grade. Okay, that's fine. Okay, you just finished a volleyball game. Basketball. Basketball game. You lost.

Okay, you missed the... I scored for the other team. I remember that happened in also. Okay, perfect. I forgot which basket we were throwing in, and I scored for the... them. Okay, and you're sitting across the, you're feeling whatever you're feeling in this moment. What do you wish that your mom and dad would say to you in this moment?

I wish they would have said, you know, like, Danny, do you really enjoy playing basketball? Like, is that something that you really, really love? Like, forget about the identity, forget about playing with your friends. Is basketball something that you really love and are passionate about? and, you know, don't think about your friends because we can always put you in a different after-school activity. And then I would have said, probably not. I'd say, okay, well, we're going to finish out this season,

and then we're going to find something that you actually love. Okay, but what would they have said about you? Wish they would have said or would they have said. Yeah, wished. They would have said, like, we love you, and you're, like, you're okay. You don't have to play basketball. It's not who you are.

and you're like, you're good enough. Are you crying? How do you feel? No, are you? No. Okay, so here's what's interesting about the exercise is that is what my parents said to me all the time. That's why when I speak about these things, I don't want it to seem like one form of parenting is better than the other because, and that's why I wanted to talk about the cons, because I don't feel like either way was the perfect way. Yeah.

So my cons are that I lacked consistency. You know, I would jump from one passion to the next. I never, I never until later in life realized the value of consistency or discipline. Number two is I think that it affected my self-esteem and confidence in a way that it never should have. Meaning like if I would have just believed and had a little bit of push and confidence that I could return a football or catch a football or whatever, like I probably. like I probably would have been more developed later in life. It would have grown my confidence faster, whereas like I didn't learn to train my confidence until probably college, right?

And number three is I think that it did make me more of like a solo adult. Like, you know, I struggle with friendships, you know. You struggle with working on a team. I struggle with working on a team. We've run into conflict with that. He's more of like, you know, if we're going to make a decision, you know me. I run it by eight people. Yes.

And then Jordan just makes the decision without talking to anyone. Right. And so all these things I've had to like work out later in life. And so I don't know. Then my, I guess my next question is like, what's the middle ground? So like if, if... I think you listen to Stella and you say,

Stella, there's, what are your two things that you're passionate about? Like we're not going to play every single sport. You know, we need to figure out what you really love. And then let's go hard in it. And let's do everything that my parents did for me. but let's do that in something that you actually are passionate about. And I don't want her to feel like the only way she's going to be popular or the only way she's going to be liked or the only way she's going to be good enough

is if she plays soccer because all of her friends are playing soccer. Right. You know, but then there's also a side of it. It's like I do want to introduce a lot of things to her. So if she doesn't want to go ride horses, which I'm not going to make her right, but like just, I just saw a horse. If I say Stella, let's go, right, I'm going to sign you up for a horse lesson. She's like, no, no, no.

I'll probably still make her go to the first one, just to see if she likes it. Right. If she doesn't like it, okay, let's move on. Let's find something else you're passionate about, but I will make sure that she has at least like two activities that she's in. Yeah. I think it's so important. And I don't care what they are.

I don't care if it's art and cello. I don't care if it's tennis and soccer. Like, but you have to have, you know, like things that you're doing outside of school to shape you. Wow. This was powerful. I think so too. You know what else is powerful? Dreamland Baby Co!

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So I think we both have a story about someone coming to our house, but I'll start with mine. So, you know, our AC went out this weekend. Yeah. Okay. And so I had to call. someone and they came out, you know, on Sunday. Yep. And, you know, what I realized in that moment was like, this guy could have told me

anything. First of all, he tried to sell me like this like $5,000 part. No, he didn't. I swear to you he did. He was like, this is out and he, but I think that he just knew that I didn't know. And he was like. How much did he charge you for the visit? $140.

So not bad. Like normal visit. But like he was. after this like, he was like, if you don't replace this, like, your house is going to light on fire. And basically, like, it just made me realize that like as we become like more like AI savvy and like social media savvy and like internet, like our kids are going to have no idea. No idea. How to deal with this stuff.

Did you read that statistic or this like article about how basically jobs like plumbers, mechanics, like, All of that is. They're going to be making as much as lawyers. Yes. Like truly. Because it's so niche and so niche. It's so niche. And no one in like Americans like don't know how to build things anymore.

And like those types of jobs like are so important to an economy that like what's going to happen to them. So I had an idea. You should have asked your AI about that part. About which part. The part. Oh my gosh. Danny. Yeah.

You're getting better than I am. No. But well, no, no, no, you can't do that. Because then I would, I would have still had to insubes. respect the system and like I have no knowledge of how mechanical you should have asked him in front of you should have asked AI in front of him and been like how much does this part cost to replace or like but it's a free market economy so the AI is not going to know it can't look past uh 2021 so it can't be like on average how much do these parts sell for probably on average but it's only as it has a two year

can I just say though sometimes it's not about that it's about like it's about learning in front of the that's trying to sell you on something. Yeah. Because he probably would have been like, oh, shoot, this guy, like, has a tool to figure out, like, that I am overcharging him and, like, kind of called him out. Well, so what I think old Jordan, who believed the good in people would have been like, okay, yeah, like, let's do it. Babe, I fix the AC, you know, like, but I think that now that I have such a lack of knowledge

of this, like, and I felt so vulnerable to being scammed, I was like, I'm going to talk to my wife. Yeah, it's always the call. I'm going to talk to my wife, and then what I did is Brenda's son, uh, has his own like AC company. So then he came out and I called him and I was like, hey, what is this? And then instead of $5,000, they came out this morning and it was like a $50 part. Stop. Yeah. So. Oh my gosh. What a scammer. Well, but I don't blame them, right? Like everyone is just doing their job, but it's like, he's like, I can charge this much. So it's like almost as demand. Like, it's not even his fault. Right. So in so many ways like future generations are going to be the smartest

generations, but also like the dumbest when it comes to like our cars breaking down or things like that. So to be fair though for every like you know baby boomer or millennial that's going to like trash on gen z it's the same thing with every generation like like with technology with my parents like they're still trying to figure it out but yes my mom can change a tire and she can lay her own tile and do all this stuff but like she can't figure out how to like turn on her iPhone sometimes so it's like we can't crap on different generations for just like the way that it was no i think it's like it was america's greatest generation. But for millennials are just like the best, though.

Because we had both. Well, I mean, we're millennial parents and we just talked about finding a middle ground between, you know, things. I think that we need a middle ground. Like, you can't go full AI. Like, you have to have a portion of the economy that knows how to build things. So here's my idea. Are you ready for my idea? Is this for your, I wrote this down.

Okay. Yeah. It's for the program. Oh, okay. For Stella's program. Sell and Trent. Yeah. Like our kid, our child rearing program.

Yeah. So, you know how there's charter schools? What is the charter school? school. I never understood that. I think I know. I think a charter school is basically an independent school that's outside of a district. It's not like technically a private school and it's not technically a public school. It's kind of like funded. It's almost like a non-profit school, but you can kind of set your own curriculum. Like Elon Musk, I think, started his own school for his kids. You know. Who sets their own curriculum? Oh, the school does? Yeah. So it's kind of like if you have a very unique way of like teaching that you want implemented, you can start a charter school. It's no different than like a co-op where it's like, like,

like a couple of neighborhood moms like hire a teacher and it's like we want this type of education style. So charter schools are just going to like be outside of the main bubbles, but they might have like really good education. Are they like sleepaway schools? No, that's like a boarding school. They can be, I'm sure. I don't think it has anything to do with how long you stay or hours or anything. It's more about like the curriculum and probably also like who funds it. So like LeBron James started a charter school for like this like inner city group of kids. where people maybe started a charter school. Exactly. That would be like a charter school.

So my idea is a charter school. You know like ITT Technical Institute? Yeah. That you go to like learn how to become a mechanic or I think that we should have an ITT technical institute charter school but for like elementary middle school high school kids. So it's like a type of curriculum where you learn your standard education, math, algebra, but then it's either like extracurricular or whatever. it teaches like the basics. It's like, here's how AC systems work. Here are the most common

problems. Here's when you call a specialist. I love this idea. Or like, here's how banks work. Here's how you should set up a bank account. Here's what interest is. Here's how to buy a home. Here's a write a check. Like things like that. The practical things because again, back to my parents' style. Like I think I am very nurturing. I'm very loving because that's what they were to me. But like I didn't know how to do anything practically until college. Whereas like I feel like you were like, hey, here's how this works. Like, you taught me so many life hacks, right? So it's a school that prepares our kids for the world outside of their standard education.

I love that. And also, like, things like, here's how to use a wetsaw. Here's how to use a wrench. Exactly. I was kind of intense. But, like, I always thought, like, one of my goals in life was always to be able to build my own cabinets because cabinets are so expensive. And I was like, and a lot of times, like, the way that men design some of these kitchens

and design some of this like carpentry. I'm like, dude, if a female was in here, we would kill it. Like the innovation would be like next level. But there's no females building cabinets, like, you know, like actually in their building. And so I always thought that that would be cool. And like, so I mean, I'm kind of like scared to share this idea now because like someone could take it. But basically what you would do is you would work with like GM, General Motors, who has like manufacturing plants and you would create feeders for our students who like so maybe you have,

like a person with a mechanical engineering background, but like has this also a graduate program of like basic, you know, like actual like life knowledge. And then you'd feed them into a lot of these like programs. Which would be so smart because like they also would know how the car works at a high level. You know, they don't know everything. But they would know how the car works. So when they get into the marketing or they get into advertising, when they get into, they're like, guys, I know why this car is the best car. Exactly. Or when. When they go into like product development, they say, guys, I've worked on these engines. Like we need to use this material over this material because, you know, back in the garage, this

piece was blowing up all the time. Like they would know what they're actually talking about before they got there. This idea started if I, because this guy who was like totally scamming me, I was like, man, if I could just get him on my side to teach me what, like, what is the hustle here? Tell me the game. Yeah. Tell me, show me the parts. Like I was like, man, it would be such a good.

idea to hire like an AC person to come teach me and my son and my daughter like how in the future like you pay them like a consulting fee to teach you but and then I like migrated up and I was like this is not just for the good of our family. This needs to be for the good of the US of A. and so that's how I birthed my school. I also love that idea of like mechanics adding on a service where they just consult you for like an hour and they teach you everything about your car. Exactly. So that you can go home and do it for yourself because a lot of times they don't want to teach you these things because they know it's going to break. Like I always think about those iPhone, Amazon chargers that we get.

Yeah, they're like, this has a lifespan of a month. And they know that. And we pay 100 bucks for it. And then three months later, we're buying another one and another one. And it's like sometimes I feel like they purposely make them like, no, they do. Apple got sued for this because when they would change the iOS system on the phone, the battery life.

The battery life would go down. And like, you know, you always get mad at my phone because I have like an iPhone, what, nine or something. They do it on purpose. And they do it on purpose. Like Instagram will not open on this phone unless it's like every third time. And they know that you need Instagram. And they know that I'm going to buy a new phone.

It's smart, but they got sued for it. Wow. That is crazy. That is crazy, right? Speaking of scams. Yeah. So that was my story of someone coming to our house. Now you tell your story.

Guys, I got so scammed. Like, so scammed so hard. Y'all are going to like, like honestly, you're going to judge me. It's horrible. So I was at the house on a Sunday and this man stops by. and he's not dressed like in the best clothes. Okay. So I already kind of sketched out.

And I'm like, what is he doing here? I open the door, but he is the most jovial, loving, like, has a great spirit about him. Okay. And he's like, hi, ma'am. Like, I'm here on this fine Sunday morning or Sunday morning to talk to people like you. I recently got off the streets and I'm part of this organization called, what was it called? I don't know. Like the Good People Project.

And I'm here to help other men just like me get off the streets by learning communication skills, sales skills, and going door to door and talking to find people like you. My goal one day is to live in a house like this and have a family like yours. And he's just like so sweet. And he's like, here's what I'm selling today, children's magazines. And I would love if you could support me so that I could support other men just like me and, you know, get them all. the streets and I'm like oh my gosh this is so cool like I love what he's doing he's so sweet and so he starts showing me the the children's magazines and I'm like great you know what I love the first of all I should have had a red flag about magazines like who buys magazines anymore

but I in my head I'm like this is so smart of him to be selling magazines like I just really I missed having something tangible you know I'm sick of all these digital magazines and I'm like especially for the kids I was like this would be so fun if they get magazines in the mail because I then I had like this flashback of me getting magazines in the mail like you know I used to get 17 magazine, teen or teen vogue in the mail. And so Jordan sees what's going on. Well, hold on. You missed the presentation materials.

Okay, so he opens up his presentation materials. They're all laminated, okay? But like. And the signatures. Oh, yeah, he goes, he goes, he's like, here's what I'm selling today. Oh, and here's everybody in your neighborhood that has bought a magazine. Do you recognize anybody from your neighborhood? And he has this sheet of paper, two sheets of paper that are, it has the name, their signature,

and then like a little recommendation. Like, he's a great guy. Good job. You're doing great. And so he goes, do you recognize any of your neighbors? And I start looking through. And it truly is different signatures, different pens, different. Like, so it's, it's not like a manufactured, like, document.

He goes, do you recognize anybody? He goes, yeah, your neighbor's up at the street. You know the one on the corner with the red brick? And I'm like, no. But I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so broad. It's like, yeah, we have houses in our neighbors. He's like, yeah, yeah.

You know, they just had a baby like Chelsea. She's a beautiful baby. And I'm like, shoot, I don't even know. Like, he knows my neighbor's better than I do. Like, that's what I'm thinking in my head. So I'm like, okay, well, this guy's legit. I'm looking through all the signatures and everybody's writing good recommendations about him, like writing like what magazines they bought.

So I'm like, okay, cool. So then Jordan sees me out here. And we've been talking for a while. And Jordan tries to come save me. And turns like, hey, like, open Zoro, he's like, hey, man, like, we don't need anything. Because you didn't know what they were selling yet. No, I tried to get you out of it. And I was like, hey, we need to put Stella to bed.

And I was like, because honestly. And I go, babe, stop. Like, I really like what he's doing. Like, this is a really cool mission. You're like, you need to hear this. I go, come here. Like, come hear it. And I go, I go, tell him what you're doing here.

Because I thought it was such a special thing. And so this was the craziest thing. And this was like the biggest red flag that I should have noticed. when Jordan came out and this guy's name was Travis Brown. That's another red flag. It's like the name like Michael Smith. Yeah. His name was Travis Brown.

And when Jordan came out and he started talking to Jordan, y'all, his demeanor took a 180. He totally changed. He was shy. He was scared. It was like watching a dog that went pee pee in the house, put his tail between his legs. He was not the same person. And it was like in his head, in his mind, he probably was like, this guy's about to call me out, knows I'm a scamster, a scamster, scammer.

Scammer. Why does he say scamster? Fraudster? And, but instead, in my head, I'm like, man, this guy has probably seen some ish, and he's scared of other men. That's what I was thinking about. Yeah. And I'm like not an intimidating.

I was not mean to him. I came down with a smile. I had our daughter. No. And then when you, when you did want to learn more, you were smiling, like, happy. Yeah. But he totally changed. And I should have like.

read that, but I didn't. So I just kept listening. And he kept talking about like his mission and his heart behind it. And then I'm like, okay, well, which magazine, um, which magazine do you recommend? He goes, oh, I don't know. So I start looking to the list. And this was another like red flag. All the text on these documents was all caps. Yeah. And I took a picture of it while he wasn't looking. So I have a picture of it. Did you really? Yeah. Oh my gosh. And when I went back after he left and read everything. The grammar was like so off. It was all caps. Then I went through the magazine list and it was like American Girl doll daily. American Girl doesn't have a daily magazine. Babe, this is so bad. You didn't even tell me these. It was like dinosaur digest.

It was like New York Times for kids. Oh my gosh. It was like one like it was and in my head, y'all, when I was reading it, I don't know what I was thinking. I just had so much hope in this man. And I was like, man, the New York Times has a kids magazine. I was like, American Girl doll has a magazine. So anyway, I ended up signing up for Dinosaur Daily, like Time Magazine for Kids, and like one other one. And so I went through and then, but here's the thing. I was smart enough to know not to give him my credit card because he said, can I have your credit card? And I said, no, because I was like, that's whenever I told you, he said, babe, go get some cash.

So Jordan brought out a $100 bill. Now I want you all to know that I did cross my mind that he was scamming me. And I thought about the $100. And I thought, you know, this $100 I'm going to give to him. And I'm going to pray that God is sovereign and that this $100 will be put to where, like, wherever it needs to be. And it's not my place to judge. And I'm just going to give my $100 because like he can have it. You know, and he wants to scam me, fine.

But at the time, y'all, I really did not think he was scamming me. Like, I still believed him. Well, I asked him, I was like, hey, so winter or magazine's going to come in? And he was like, six to eight weeks. And I was like, okay, we're never going to see these magazines. And no, he said that, yeah, he goes six to eight weeks. And then he was sending me a receipt. Y'all, this receipt that he sent me was so janky.

We can post it on our Instagram stories, on the D Impland's Instagram stories. It was so not real. Yeah. So once he was typing out my order, And the order, remember he said, oh, I can't take $100 for three magazines. It'll be $108. He goes, do you want to go get more money? He asked me to go get more money.

Then I was like, I didn't hear this part. I go, yeah, this is scam in my head. But I was already too far in. Yeah. I was like. Did you get the extra $8? No. Okay.

But he goes, it's okay. I'll give you a 30% off. That's what he said. So then I was like, yeah, this is a scam. Because if he was really selling magazines and he had like strict structured, I'd have to pay the $8. He goes, it's fine. I'll cover it.

And I was like, okay. So anyway, then he walked away, and I watched him walk away. He was also with no one else. He didn't have a car. He didn't have anything. He was just walking door to the door. He was sweating profusely. And you know what's so funny when he was walking away?

I said, can I give you some advice? Did you really? I missed all of this. I go, can I give you some advice? I said, I really love what you're doing. But my best piece of advice for people in sales, is you got to know your product. I was like, so I would go in there.

I said, if I were you, I would go to a local library and I would be studying up on all of these magazines. I said, so when people ask you what to buy, you can give them advice of what to sell. You got to know your product. And he goes, ma'am, thank you for that piece of advice. I'm going to use that. He's going to go research dinosaur daily.

So I helped the scammer, scam more people because now when he tries to scam people, he's going to know his product. Babe, if a dinosaur, daily shows up on our doorstep. I'm going to be absolutely shook. I'm going to be shook and I'm going to have to get on my knees and ask for forgiveness. But I don't think it's coming. I actually, no, I think your heart was in the right place because I was, I was reading your mind. I first of all, I was upstairs. I heard you at the door for like 10 minutes and I was like, oh my gosh, this Boy Scout is like selling,

or this Girl Scout or Boy Scout is selling some cookies to my wife. And then I walked in as a full-blown man and I was like, oh gosh, this is bad. But I think your heart was in the right place where it's like, I don't know. There was something about him. I was like, no, I want to help him. No, there was something about him. And even if he was scamming people, when he walked away, I knew that he had scammed me. And I prayed for him.

And I thought, you know what, Lord, maybe it's not this person. And maybe it's not me. Maybe it's not this $100. But I do pray that, like, he comes to know you. And that, like, somehow the interaction that he had with me, like, led him in that way. And, like, I don't know how it would have. But I mean, I was so kind to him and listened to him. And like, I wanted to help him in any way that I could that I hope that I hope he feels bad.

You know what the irony of it all, though, is part of his pitch was like, you know, I'm, I'm part of this program. I came from the inner cities. Like it's a job training and sales. He said it was job training. Yeah. He kind of is like learning what he set out to do. I mean, like he was learning to sales. I mean, he learned from you.

Yeah. Yeah. So in a weird kind of poetic way, he like, it might be a scam, but he's actually like getting what he wants out of it. But that's why I think that Travis Brown will be so good working for the kingdom and doing good when he meets good. Right now, right now he's applying all these amazing skills that he has towards something bad. Yeah.

But when he gets on the right path, like he's going to do amazing things for the good, for goodness. But he just isn't on the right path. path yet. It's okay. Yeah, like. Unless we get a dinosaur daily. Oh my gosh. In which case, we're very apologetic to Travis Brown.

I have another scam story. Yeah, you've been, you've been getting scammed quite a bit lately. Or am I the scammer? How would you be the scammer? I'm not. But that's the question with this next story. Oh, this is a good one. Am I talking too much?

No, I actually, I actually don't really know the details of this story. and so I would enjoy you telling me the story. So, you know, I told you guys last week to remind me to tell you all this story because it's unbelievable. The other story just told you about Travis Brown, it's believable. Yeah, it's solicitors. It's solicitors. This story is unbelievable because of the circumstances.

It's so unique it could have only happened to me. So you guys know how I do like Divy Green Giveaways. I love a green giveaway. So what I'll do is basically to just like thank you guys for being here. I will just buy all these like beautiful green things, whether it's a green handbag, green prodig shoes, green, you know, blankets, green pajamas, green suitcase. So one day I had this idea that I wanted to do a green divvy giveaway and I wanted like a really like luxury item in there.

So I wanted green David Yerman like diamond earrings. So I found some that were literally divvy green. Okay? I don't even own any, but I found them on David Ehrman. They were on Nordstrom, and I just filtered to Nordstrom. I typed in like green jewelry.

Found green David Yermann studs. Gorgeous. So I send them to the group text, and I think it's such a great idea. And I'm like, guys, green David Ehrman earrings for the next giveaway. So I go through Nordstrom because, you know, I have the Nordstrom app.

My credit card's in there. It's so easy. I buy a pair of green ugs and a green pair of a green always pan, and then a green pair of David Yermann earrings. So they come in the mail, and at the same time, the girls on my team didn't realize

that I had already bought the David Yurman earrings. So they go to David Yermann.com, and they buy the green David Yermann earrings. Okay. So by accident, we have now purchased two pairs of Green David Yermann earrings, one from David Yermann and one from Nordstrom. Okay.

We get a pair of David Yerman earrings in the mail, and we open them up, and they are completely black tarnished. They look like, you know, when silver tarnishes. And those are from Nordstrom? At the time, I had opened the bag, and I knew that they were from Nordstrom. Right. But I had taken, you know, I threw away the bag, and I just had the box and made the bag that the David Uerman bag that it came in. So I go upstairs, I'm like, guys, these David Uriman earrings that we got in are, tarnish, they're dirty, like we need to return them. So we have Olivia, who's on my team,

she calls David Ehrman, customer service, customer support, tells them that, you know, we got a bad pair of earrings in, and she ships them back to David Ehrman. And at the same time, we get another pair in the mail from David Ehrman, and they're totally clean. They're perfect. They're beautiful. Probably from David Ehrman directly. They're from David Ehrman. Okay. So David Ehrman receives our package and proceeds to tell us that the pair of earrings that we sent back to return are fake. They're fake earrings. They're not real David Ehrman. From Nordstrom.

They didn't know that they were from Nordstrom, but yes, this was the pair that Nordstrom had sent me. Oh my gosh. What a mess. It's a mess. So David Ehrman is like, yeah, we're not going to refund you because you shipped us fake earrings. And so I'm like, I tell Olivia, I'm like, I'm like, well, how have them ship them back to us? Because we need to take those to Nordstrom,

because Nordstrom sent us fake ones. So we'd say, okay, can you please send us the earrings back if you're not going to refund them? Because it's too much of a story to explain, oops, we returned the wrong ones. Those are actually meant to go to Nordstrom. So, David Yerman. Oh, she, you have the box.

Ships us the box back. She's holding a FedEx box with some metal in it. One day, I get a text message to our group from Ramsey, my assistant. She goes, did anybody order a chain? I said, no. This is what David Ehrman sent us back instead of. What are those like shackles? Chains.

What? David Ehrman sent us these chains back instead of the earrings. That's like a sign? That I paid $450 for. So I don't know. What do you think it is? What do you think? How would this have accidentally gotten mixed up?

Oh, this is an accident. David Eerman. Oh, we didn't need to send you a chance. chain. They don't sell chains. Oh my gosh. They sent us this as a sign. So David Ehrman ships back a chain to us, you guys, instead of the earrings.

So they kept the fake ones that Nordstrom sent me. So David Ehrman still has our $450 earrings that Nordstrom sent me that were fake. They won't give them back because what are we going to say? Hey, David, Ehrman, send us back the fake pair of earrings so that we can go do this the same thing to Nordstrom. They probably think. It's almost so complicated at this point that it's like, how do you even like get out of it? You can't even tell the story. The only reason it's going to ever like get to David Yerman is if they see this video.

Like, you know, because I can't even make this stuff up. Like it's, it's just like. So now we have a pair of real David Yermann from David Yerman that we could take back to Nordstrom and tell Nordstrom, you guys send us fake ones and we accidentally sent. Like, I don't know. It's a total disaster. So I'm basically just out my foreign. $450. That's crazy.

That is such a flex to send chains. Man, that's like the ultimate, like, I mean, we run like a e-commerce business. Like, we know like the scams that people do of like, oh, I accidentally broke this. Like, it is such a flex to build into your systems and processes. Like, okay, if this happens, this is a process for fraudsters, send them chains. Because think about it. Like, if, and maybe they sent us something that was weighted back so that like, like, because when you weigh it to ship it,

it would be maybe the same weight as a pair of earrings. No, I mean, that was like a lot of change, no way. The only thing is you have to consider with like, like earrings like that, they come in a pretty hefty box.

And it does weigh something. Like, but no, I mean, I don't know. I, that's like too weird to be a mix up. Like,

if I'm thinking of all of the logistics of like, their, their fulfillment center, like someone would have had to, no way. No, this is not a mix up. That's like a, but they,

they wouldn't, They've done it just to us. Like that's a process that they have. 100% because they're not going to send another pair of fake earrings back into the ecosystem. Yeah, no, 100%. Yeah. So they kept them. And sent us back chains.

And sent us back chains. Wow. When it was Nordstrom really who sent us the fake pair. So Nordstrom's system is actually the one that's messed up. Not. Well, Nordstrom, yeah, had fraudulent. Yeah, Nordstrom sent us fraudulent earrings. What an absolute mess.

And we'll probably never get out of it. Oh my gosh. but at least we're here to educate. Don't mess with David Yerman is the lesson to be like. I actually had another fraudulent story. Too much? I'll just tell it like a, I won't go into it. But basically we bought the girls on our team work phones.

And they bought them under Danny Austin, not Keeley Austin, which is my real name. And because they bought them under Danny Austin and tried to register them, they flagged it as fraudulent. and now they completely locked our account and we can never open like a new phone number. We would have to like... We have to... We have to... We have to...

Personally or... Under my account? Yeah. Under the business? Or under personal? Like, is our personal AT&T account locked now? It's whatever was... I think it's the business one.

Because they think that there are people like trying to impersonate us opening accounts. Gosh, man. That's... That happens sometimes because my real name is Keely Austin. People try to use Danny Austin. And that's not my legal name. It's not on any of my documents. It's Keely Danielle Austin.

Wow. Man, we are just, we are getting wrecked these days. I know, I know. But you know what's so funny is like we're not even defrauding people, but because fraud is so prevalent, it kind of ruins it for everyone. Now everyone's on guard, so it makes everything harder. You know what the, what I always almost fall for is when like you get these text messages that are like, we have a package that's China. to be delivered. Oh my gosh,

never click the links. Click this link to get it delivered and like expedite or something. And I'm always like, I wonder what package is it. And then I'm always like, no, Danny,

don't do it. Oh my gosh, that's crazy. It happens every time. Do we have any news stories to go over? We do. I want to talk about one of my favorite men,

Jimmy. Did you hear? Eats World? No, Jimmy Fallon. Oh. Out of all the news people, I love Jimmy Fallon the most.

Well, first of all, aren't they, like, all, like, done because of the strike? Oh. Like, no, there's no late night. Well, they're also striking because, like, they write their own stuff, right? No, they don't write their own stuff. Sometimes. Sometimes. Okay, you're right.

But, like, I'm saying that there's no, like, I mean, no one watches cable anymore, but you couldn't turn on cable at 11 o'clock and have late night on. Like, none of them are working. Yeah. Since the strike. Yeah, you're probably right. I don't know. No, he's out.

I mean, they're all, like, definitely. not out of jobs. I'm like, I asked me a question, are you telling me? No, I'm just saying, like, he's your favorite guy, but he's not live on air right now. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. He's my favorite guy. It's not my favorite show. Like, I don't watch a show. Got it. When it happens. But, no, I don't watch the show, like, religiously. I don't stay up that later. Can we? So, Jimmy Fallon is my favorite late night host out of all of them. It used to be Ellen and Fallon. Ellen triggered. No, but like. Did she recover from that?

I can't remember. I think she just doesn't even do the show anymore. So she's like retired. You know? Do you think she was mean? Yeah. Really? I think so.

I feel like we had kind of heard it from several people that it probably checked out. I had heard it from people that like really like work very closely to her. I went to high school with her personal assistance or no, sorry, her producer's brother. Really? And yeah. Do you think she was mean or do you think that she was mean? Or do you think that she was just carrying the weight of the persona that she created that like only few got to actually see it? Because like...

I think that people, yes, I think that the perception was that she's this like funny, jovial, lighthearted person 24-7. I never saw her that way. Like I actually think she's very sarcastic. I think she's like very, can be very monotone. Like I think I saw, I didn't expect that from her. But I think a lot of people did. for her to be like overly nice and I just never had that expectation of her

Okay what did you So what's your expectation of Jimmy Jimmy? I just I love him like I always thought that he was like the most down to earth I think he's the funniest I thought that he I always thought he's a very good listener Of course he's on late night

Like they probably are all pretty good listeners I thought he was goofy Because he was in a real What was that show? that he was in? S&L? Mm-mm. Real World or like Wayne's World?

Wayne's World. Jimmy Fallon. He was like a supporting character. No way. Really? I'm pretty sure. If you're right, then I'm very wrong, but I don't think Jimmy Fallon was in Wayne's World.

I'll tell you. While she's looking that up, I want to tell people about something really interesting that I came up with lately. I pitched it to the guys when they were at the house for UT Alabama. So we're going to do a road trip. Okay. And it's called the Road to Roswell.

And basically we're going to rent like a tour bus RV. Okay. And we're going to, I plotted a track from Dallas all the way to Roswell. Are you listening? Mm-hmm. And we will stop in West Texas. We will sleep a night at El Cosmico in Marfa, which is the TPs,

we'll stop in Alpine, Texas. We will stop by the McDonald Observatory to see the stars in space. Have you ever been there? McDonald's, it's probably amazing. You're really deep in the West Texas. Stars are so bright. We'll see the Milky Way.

And then we continue our path to Roswell. We stay in Roswell for a day, go see some alien stuff, and then we take the road, The Red Road Home, I think it's called. And it's like a famous Texas road that's like really beautiful with the canyons. And we come back to Dallas. Okay.

So it'll probably be like us and, you know, six of our friends. So I'm going to try and find a weekend that we can do that. Okay. I think we should tell people too, like when we're departing. And so maybe we all caravan together on the road to Roswell. It's like a, what do you call that? What's the journey to Mecca that people do? I don't know.

Okay, I remember. Pilgrimage. Pilgrimage. It's our pilgrimage. Do you like that idea? Mm-hmm. Would you stay in an RV? Probably not.

Okay. Well, we'll figure the details out later. Okay. Jimmy Fallon was in Almost Famous. Yes. That was the movie where he came. Now I remember. I don't know why I could not remember.

I loved him in that movie. That is a great movie. It's a good movie. Oh, my gosh. It's a great movie. So, what was I even talking about? Well, you said your perception of Jimmy Fallon was that he was jovial, fun, goofy, etc. Fun, goofy, smart.

Okay, now tear him down. What happened? So apparently, according to the news, I think I saw this on Mo News, maybe. He's pretty reliable. Yeah. He has a very, like, toxic workplace, work environment. Oh, my gosh. You could have said anything else, and I would have been like, okay, maybe.

But these always kind of get me. I just don't know. I know. I don't blame me because, like, it's, yeah. It can be hard. Triggered. But the one reason I believe it is because I've heard for years that he's an alcoholic. Oh, that's sad.

And people were saying that, like, how he acts at work depends on if he's hung over or not. And if he's hung over, he can be, like, very short and just, like, not very kind. And so they say he's kind of unreliable because of that. And I can totally see how that makes sense. It's probably more from his alcoholism than it is from him. and being like mean to people, do you know? Yeah. And not being reliable.

Then it makes everybody else stressed out because they're like, the show must go on. But Jimmy's late and we have to switch everything around and he's rude or he's this or that. So I think his heart is good. I just think he's struggling. I think it's like, I mean, I cannot imagine what the system and process looks like to run a night, like a show like that every single night, Monday through Friday. It's got to be. And then you've got to show up.

You know, you're talking to these celebrities who probably most of them, you want to like you, you have a whole operation that depends on you showing up and being a eight. Yeah. Well, it's live. It's not live, but it's filmed at like eight and then goes live at 11.

Okay. So, but like can you imagine. But it's a live studio audience, right? Live studio audience. Yeah. So you're not like, I mean,

you know, put yourself in the, his shoes for a second. You are not just trying to please the person you're interviewing, which is already pressure. You then have to put. And you have to know everything about them. And you have to know everything about them,

probably memorizing it that morning. And then you all, also have to please the audience and who is coming to see you who loves you. And then you have to also be a good boss. Like, no way. Yeah. Like it's the same reason like if you were running like every single aspect of the operation of Divi.

Yeah. And you showed up to the office every day and you had to be Danny Austin. No freaking way. It'd be really hard. And then add on being an alcoholic on top of that. Oh my God. Well, I think it's like they're probably connected. He's probably so stressed.

And he's like, I literally am so miserable. but this is my job. Yeah. That he's like, I'm going to drink, you know? It takes a lot for me to rag on Hollywood or people that are in that space because it's so easy to rag on them because nobody sees the behind the scenes. But because of the industry we're in, I think we get like a little taste of it.

Yeah. And I can't imagine how hard that is. And I also can imagine how hard it is for people like Ellen to have like everyone thinking that you're this certain persona because you give back so much. Like, who knows? For all we know, her producers write all of it. that into the script for her, into the show for her. It wasn't really her idea. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's hard because like, people don't realize that these are human beings because they become

so detached with what you see on the screen. But like, okay, if Ellen has a persona that you're funny and you're joyful, if you are in the Starbucks line and you are not that Ellen that people expect for you to be, 24-7, and someone hands you the coffee and it's like, okay, thank you, and just walks away. Yeah. Like, oh, she was. mean. And that's how it all starts because like you are a human being. You cannot be consistently like that every single day. It's like it's hard enough for us to be like in a good mood to film these podcasts like consistently every single week. Like yeah. And that's only for an hour each week. And we it's just us. It's our little team here. Yeah.

Like I can just not imagine. It's not fair. It's funny too because even the way that people read into Instagram stories, which I mean are a pretty accurate representation of of our lives each day, but it's not every single day. And it's not every single minute of the day. So like if you really add up all the stories, it's only 10 minutes of your day. Yeah. 10 minutes of like how many minutes are in the day? I don't know. A lot. And so it is crazy for people to put those expectations on you. But that's why I also like through the podcast and through Instagram stories, I always try to keep it like as real as possible and not but then people are like oh my gosh you're so mean to your husband or you seem sad or you seem this and I'm like dude it's because like I posted one story where I was just like

that's how I felt in the moment that doesn't mean I'm sad all the time that doesn't mean I'm mean to my husband all the time like can I tell can I tell the Joe bro story I think we talked about it last week no we didn't yeah we did we talked oh we did okay you're right so like I have ever since then I had a momentary lapse of cynicism for me where where I was like kind of cynical and frustrated that like for our lifestyle that we are not going to complain about because like this is our choice. I just think I realized for a moment how much perception is reality and perception is crafted by what we put out there.

And so like, you know, part of our job more or less is to like like make sure that perception doesn't become a bad reality. And it's just like a false reality. A false reality, right? Both good and bad, right? So you like, I don't know. I just was like so... Cynical?

Cynical, the fact that like, okay, I think that day you posted maybe like six slides, like six dots on Instagram. And it's like, how are you going to take this and assume an entire character? But sometimes it's not even their fault. Like, they don't know the other way to read it. That's the problem is like it is like, that's what makes it such a grind is that. It's like reality TV. Like we all, and like I've been watching selling sunset.

And now because I know so much of behind the scenes or how it all works, like it's hard for me to get into it because I just feel like everything is not that it's, it's not that it's not real drama. It's manufactured storytelling. Yeah. Most of the time for this, like I feel like reality TV is for the sake of outrage, you know? Yeah, but I like, and at a certain point though, you just want to get lost in it. And it's more fun to just like not think and just to, it.

accept it. It's more fun for people to watch stories and be like, Danny is a horrible mom. She puts all of her time towards this, this, and this. And wow, I feel bad for those kids. That makes people feel better sometimes than thinking, oh, she's just busy. She only showed like that five-minute increment and that, you know, that's fun. It's more fun to text your friends and be like, everybody go watch this and da-da-da-da, like. Like, can you believe? I think that like it all just depends on like the state that you're in. But that's why I do think that like, and I'm not, let's make it less. about us. That's why I think like reading like celebrity gossip and all that is like drinking poison because like in the moment you feel better about yourself because you're able to say,

can you believe that they do this? At least I'm not this, right? But that's the trick of the poison of like gossip and like internet and fame culture. Like so many people are reading Jimmy Fallon be like, man, he had it all. He's on TV. He's famous. He's rich. And I'm like, just because you're famous and which does not mean you're happy. In fact, his, his situation is probably a lot sadder than yours. It, whoa, going to make this poetic. It is like drinking alcohol where it's like in the moment taking in that gossip makes you feel so good. But then you wake up the next day and you're just as equally empty.

And then you're like, okay, I need more. And that's why people like, especially the Bravo crowd, I don't watch Bravo, obviously. But like, those people are like addicted to the drama of Bravo. Because it feels good. It feels good in the moment. But it's like setting. you back so much to drink that poison, even if it's about us.

And it's because I think, like, as humans, we just desire, like, something to stir the pot. We desire something to be, like, an anomaly and something to, like, compare ourselves to make ourselves feel better. Like, this is kind of, like, a stupid example, and maybe a little off topic. But, like, with my friends, now that, you know, I give up drinking. Yeah.

And I try not to gossip. So those are two things that, like, used to be fun. I don't believe you. It makes sense. You know, like, gossiping can be really fun with your friends whenever you're like, oh, my gosh, did you see it? And then, like, we all go research, and then you make assumptions. And then you try to figure it out. It can be like...

It is a form of bonding. It's a form of bonding. And so I try not to gossip. And then I don't have drinking. So I'm like, well, shoot, like, I got to figure something else out. And so I've had this, like, I've noticed this development. myself, I will like, like sit down with my friends and I'll be like, what are you struggling with? Like, what's your like, what can, like, I try to go deep and I try to like, because I am so sick of

like surface level conversation. Yeah. That I need something to fill to like, I need something more. I just need more. And if it's not going to be alcohol and it's not going to be gossiping, I've found like my best form of going, like of feeling something is going deep and vulnerable. and like and like carrying in like a different way and so now but I feel like it's been really intense like I was on that bachelorette with um jeanine and I'm sure every girl like felt interrogated because I was like and I try to put myself in other people's shoes and I tried to like feel what they're feeling and then I just I feel like it ultimately like helps everybody's relationship but I've become like a little

private investigator and I feel like it's helped fill that whole of like I need gossip I need alcohol I need excitement. I need to go out. I need this, that like, but babe, like, it's a good thing. Yeah, no, I'm so proud of you. First of all, you never shared that. But like, that's so incredible because I can just imagine the space that now God has for you to like truly, like, for conversations to happen that are not just going to change the other person's life, but will also like change your life, right? Like that the space for the depth that's not distracted by alcohol and gossip, like so much can happen in that room. Yeah, like in that space.

And I've never been a big gossiper. No. But I just feel like I... It's going to make every relationship that you have so much more purposeful. Every conversation, every time that you hang out, it's going to, in the long term, fulfill you more probably than like any... I sat down with one of my... My girlfriends, remember watching Texas, so you.

And, like, that whole night, I just... Texas, Alabama. Oh, sorry. Texas Alabama. And there were just a lot of surface level of conversation. And I'm like, okay, I'm not drinking. I'm like, we're not gossiping. So I turned into my friend, I go,

what's something that the Bible says that you don't agree with? No, but keep going. The story's good. So then she's like, I don't know. And I'm like, well, isn't there something that you've learned in Bible study that you're like, these people are crazy? And I was like, here's what mine is. And so I tell her what mine is.

And should I share what mine is? Yeah. Okay, so something that I struggle with that is biblical. is like always submitting to your husband. Like, and I know that that's what the Bible says. But I also am like, but what if your husband's like sinning? Or if he's in a bad place or, you know,

or if he's calling, what if like Jordan is like, hey, I really feel like we need to move to Nashville. And what if I'm like, but Jordan, like I feel like you're only saying that because you're focusing on materialistic things or you're like, you know, what if we're not aligned?

Like how do I submit to something that I just don't, ultimately, it's not a sin, that he's proposing, but I just don't think it's like best for the family. And so I always have a hard time when like, you know, pastors or Bible studies talk about that. So I told her, I was like, I mean, that's my thing. What's your thing? And she, you know, she got to tell what her thing was. And so. Didn't she like go off about Bethmore? Um, no, not about Bethmore, but honestly hers was very similar to mine, like, yeah, about like female roles. Um, And so then that kind of got like the whole room talking and we had something to digest.

And we had something to talk about and research and dive deep on and be vulnerable. And we all shared how we felt. And like a lot of us were contradictory. So I was like, oh, it's almost like you're gossiping where you're like, oh, okay, let's talk about this. And it's like started a little debate. It's our little debate. And like then we're like, okay, let's go back to the scripture. Like what does the scripture say?

And like it just gave us something to really like mole over. Is that a little mall? Yeah. Yeah. So that's my thing now. Every time I meet people, I'm like, what's the Bible say that you don't agree with? I'm like so, like I could cry if I wanted to. In fact, if I blink, I probably cry. But I'm so proud of you because I just personally always felt and knew that that's the way that you do affect people.

But you always kind of like never gave yourself that, like, authority, I feel like. It's like people like love when you're invested in the conversation. I think you have the capacity to like really go deep. And I know that you love those conversations a lot. Like this happened at Bridget's Bachelorette party a lot. Whereas like you were the one like kind of going deep and you felt like you extracted so much like value from those conversations. And so I'm excited to see what God does with your relationships and friendships now that. I think it's just like I kind of have to.

I have to go deeper. To me I'm like I'd rather just be at home. Dude. Doing nothing. I feel so seen by you right now because that's how I've always been. I'm like, I can't just like go and hang out anymore. I know. Yeah.

This is like my biggest like hardship with friends. I think a lot of the guys like feel it too. It's hard for guys probably to go deep though. Well, especially when you have families because like the you want to feel purpose, right? And like purpose is like with your family and making sure like you're taking care of and our kids. And like so it's like I mean other than I think that paintball has been like really good. I don't play in the summer because I would die of heat stroke. Yeah.

But like it's like when guys. get together and have something that they're doing together, like, whether it's like an intramural league or like paintball. That's what I'm kind of like looking for, but just like hanging out, I'm just not a hangout guy. Yeah, I get it. I love football season. Yeah. So good because we like rally around a single thing. See, that night was hard for me because I feel like I wanted to be watching football, but the girls didn't. And I felt like because I hosted, I had to be with them, you know, but I wanted to be just quiet on the couch, like all the guys. Yeah.

So that was a hard night for me, if I'm being real. Oh. Were you, you, you had been going, going, going that weekend, too. Were you a little? I wouldn't say that's why, though. Like, I just, I really wanted to watch that game. Like, I wanted to really get into, I'm not going to lie. Like, I really just wanted to sit there and do nothing.

Yeah. But I felt like I had, like, six girls over that could care less, and they had nothing to do. You know what I feel like, so did you think it was weird when all of us were just sitting the guys and like not really talking just watching the game i think that's weird yeah but no but i we talked like every once in a while but we were like all really invested you all just talk you all just sit there you don't talk yeah we just sit there and talk yeah we just sit there and talk about yeah girls would not like that our girl at least i wonder if you would if you like would set the expectation on the front in like hey guys like let's all watch the game like let's all watch it with our guys

if that would have invited everyone i know that's what i'm saying is like maybe that was the fatal flaw yeah i mean because next time i probably just won't do that i probably won't have people No, it's tradition. The Babelink house is for football season. Yeah, then we do need to like communicate that on the front end because I felt rude. Yeah. I don't think they would have cared. It was hot downstairs though.

It was hot and I just felt like they weren't having fun. It's like they needed a leader. Nobody was leading. It had to be me. It was my house. That's right. Yeah. Well, we'll figure it out next week.

Don't worry. We got a whole season ahead of us. I know, I know. This is a fun one. I don't, I think we, skip the hot takes again. What do you say? I mean, we're at an hour and 15 minutes. Yeah, I think we're good. Maybe next episode. Yeah, I think this was a good one. It was a good one. It was more heart than laughs. But, you know, again, just like Ellen. It's always a lot of heart. Just like Ellen,

like we, every week we're going to be us. Okay. And so like, don't comment, be like, wasn't as funny. Or do. Or two, but like, just be real. Like, we're humans. We love you guys. Thanks for listening. to this week's episode of Deimplanced. Feel free to like. No, you don't like, you don't like. You went back to YouTube days. I went back to YouTube.

I was like and subscribe. Hit that like button. Feel free to subscribe. We are on all platforms and leave a review on Apple and Spotify. I think we're off YouTube. Yeah, we're off YouTube. We're on Spotify video now.

Maybe clarify that because people are like asking that a lot. on Spotify video now. Okay. Cool. Okay. Love you. Bye.