De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan - The Chaos of Influencer Friendships (and How to Actually Be a Good Friend)

Episode Date: October 16, 2025

It’s time to spill some tea. Dani’s getting real about influencer friendships — the good, the bad, and the ones that didn’t last. We talk about what makes a real friend, how to navigate drama, and the pressure that comes with public relationships. Plus, we break down the Super Bowl halftime drama and some of the shocking truths behind the porn industry. We scored some great deals with a few of our favorite brands for our listeners: Cotton is The Fabric of Our Lives and make sure you're checking tags to ensure it's the fabric of your life too. Learn more at TheFabricOfOurLives.com Learn more and join using our link. The first 1000 get a $100 credit toward their membership. Visitwww.functionhealth.com/INFLUENCE or use code INFLUENCE100 at sign-up to own your health. Right now as a listener of my show, you can get cozy and spooky for less with deals up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/DANI and enter promo code DANI - comfort that's made for fall. Visit sugaredandbronzed.com and use code DANI at checkout for your first month free or $10 first service or online purchase.  Shop at REVOLVE.com/DANI and use code DANI for 15% off your first order.  Make sure you’re subscribed to our official channel on YouTube, @deinfluencedpodcast, and follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your De-Influenced fix! Stay connected with us on Instagram and TikTok @deinfluencedpodcast, and as always thank you for being a part of this journey.  We love y'all!! D + J

The following podcast is a dear media production. Hello, and welcome back to your favorite podcast. The influence. That's right. It's me again. Another solo episode. I know you guys want Jordan to come back so badly. So do I.

If he had social media, I would tell you guys to all go bombard him and tell him to come back. But he doesn't. Well, he does, but he like never really gets on it. So yeah, yeah, if you see him in person, let him know. he's kind of just off doing his own thing. He's a lot of projects and whatnot that he's been working on. And so he's a busy man, you know, I don't know, maybe I'm going to have to pay him more per hour to sit down with me. Just kidding. But I'm glad that you guys are here. That makes me happy. And I am still refining my skill of solo podcasting. Like I said, it's not for the faint of heart. But I really do enjoy it.

You know, it's so funny because I always have like two or three topics I think I'm going to talk about and then I never end up talking about them because I go off on some other tangent. So I have some topics. Let's just see where the wind blows us. I do want to do a little catch up with you guys because we haven't really caught up since I did the Janine episode. We kind of have like two weeks of catch up. You know, I'm kind of in that, you know, space in life where there's just not like a lot going on, which has been great. I cannot believe it, but it's like October, you know, what's today? I don't know. It's like first couple weeks of October and I still have not put up my fall decor, which is like,

I'm just like, I can't believe it. But I'm kind of just thinking about like not doing it and just skipping to Christmas. It's a lot of work when you have to go from fall decor and then you clean it up so fast and then you go to Christmas and like Christmas is more than fall. And it's like, does anybody actually appreciate it? You know, know that's how I feel. I feel like nobody ever walks in my home and it's like, wow, I love your fall decor. And my kids don't say anything. In fact, they usually just throw up pumpkins around. I feel like Jordan gets annoyed because of the mess. So you know what? I'm just not going to do it. I'm just not going to do it. Maybe I will do it though. It's like all it really takes is like one day

of being bored and like having a burst of energy for me and then everything changes. So we'll see what happen um what happens but man since we've chatted the taylor swift album came out the controversy with that one oh my gosh if one more person sends me the alley best duckie is i you say her name video about why christian should not be listening to taylor swift i am going to go crazy like i it is literally my whole dms is filled with why i should not be worshipping taylor swift and i'm like i don't worship her that's the thing. And like, if you're really upset, just go listen to Opelite and then ask yourself, is this really that bad? Like, you know, it could be worse. We'll get, we'll get more into that

later on in the podcast. But you do have to consider what we were raised off of in the 90s. Like the amount of times that I said, it's getting hot in here, I'm going to take off all my clothes when I was 12 years old. Look, I turned out okay. I still have my clothes on. We're good. anyway so it was crazy that i went to go see taylor swift uh her her uh life of a show girl in theaters where they showed the music video and then they showed the behind the scenes it's insane what that girl does where she's like directing but she's also in the music video lip syncing to everything because uh they're always scared of her music getting late late or leaked on set and so because there's so many people on set that it's really hard to keep

you know track of everyone all it takes is somebody hitting the record on their phone. So she dances and lip sinks to a metronome. That's just like, and the dancers actually have no idea what the song sounds like. And so they have to make all these facial expressions, even though they have no idea what they're dancing to. They literally are just dancing to a beat. So it's crazy. It was really neat to see the behind the scenes. She's very creative, so fun. And it's wild to see like how, many people actually go into creating something like that. So yeah, that was good.

I also saw Gabby's dollhouse in theaters. You know, like Jordan was saying, he was like, you know, the critics are still not confirmed, but it might be winning a couple of Oscars. It was, actually, it was a lot cuter than I thought it was going to be. Kristen Wigg is like the villain, and she makes it so funny and so good. and the music is kind of a bop. Like it's really catchy. And here's when you know it was good.

We took Summit and summit paid attention the whole hour and a half. So if a nine-month-old baby likes it, I think you'll like it too. And you can pay attention too. But that was really cute to take Stella. Stratton even liked it.

He's just, you know, Stratton's just there for a good time. You know, I had another girl's, oh, speaking of impeccable, Have you ever tried cauliflower pizza? It's so good. My friend Allie gets these cauliflower pizzas just from like Tom Thumb. And you know, they just look like one of those things that would be healthy but like actually

tastes disgusting. I'm not kidding you. It was better than real pizza, like a real frozen pizza. It's so good. And I don't remember the, I think it was called like nature something and had like a big lime green. So good. Like I've been like craving it every single day.

And it actually is healthier. apparently. So that's good to know. What else has happened? We watched the UT game. They sucked. So that was bad. We were ranked and then now we're not. So that's a bummer. We played Florida and it was just a complete disaster. We planned a last minute trip to Nashville this morning. We actually planned it this morning. We're going tomorrow with the kids. We're staying like just for 24 hours. We leave the next morning. Really quick trip because Jordan has three plots of land that he wants to show me, like 10 acres each. And I'm, I still don't understand what I'm going to do with 10 acres of land. Like, do I build a theme park? Do I build 17 tennis courts? Like, do I, you know, make a trail

so that we can take a golf cart through the trail every day? Like, I don't really understand why people would want 10 acres of land unless you literally never want to see anybody ever. But I'm kind of in my extroverted era right now. Like I play pickleball twice a week to tennis three times a week. And it's like, yeah, I like to see people. I like to go and see that there's other humans on this earth. And so why would I want to live in 10 acres of land? Maybe if I wanted to farm, I'm deathly afraid of bugs.

and I really don't like the smell of manure. So that one I've always kind of just been like, that's really not going to happen. And I don't know. And, you know, I just, I get tired out in the sun so long. I just, I just feel like I'm not built for it. But you know what? I'm trying to just let Jordan lead us,

see where the chips fall. But at the same time, I've been very defiant in this process. but I also am trying to be very open-minded. So we're going and we're going to look at three plots of land and then three houses. So we'll see what happens. Jordan's still really excited about it. And I'm like I said, I'm like, we'll just, I don't know. So that's what we're doing this weekend.

We had Amazon Prime Day. That was big. What did I get for Amazon Prime Day? Oh, you know, the biggest thing that I got was a headband holder. I really wanted something to hold my new headband since I'm like newly obsessed with headbands. Unfortunately, headbands are more expensive than I thought they were going to be. Well, the ones on Amazon you can get for like 16 bucks. But if you really want something special, like something real nice.

I mean, these headbands can cost over $100. It's ridiculous. I'm like, I should start a headband business. I used to wear a ton of headbands as a kid. So much to the point where I think I have this like permanent indention on my head where headbands go. Like you think I'm kidding. I'm actually not.

like I really do have an intention and I've always thought it was because like I was the headband girl in high school or you know elementary school. But then I took a break. I had a headband hiatus and I'm like kind of back. And I'm actually going to touch on that later on this episode because headbands are very Dallas. Like there's kind of a Dallas uniform for like some Dallas girls and it's like these like smocked like dresses headband and then like Tori Birch sandals or like a. nice Chanel flat or something. And I always sort of myself, I was like, I'll never buy those dresses, I'll never buy those type of flats, and I'll never wear headbands. I wear them all now. It's like, it's just because the more you see it, the more you wear it. And so yeah, I'm stepping into my headband era. And I'm really happy because like things were getting a little boring around here. So just kind of spice it up a little bit. Yeah, Texas OU is tomorrow, which will be hard because we'll

be in Nashville, but I'm sure we'll be watching from our phones and crying from the car in Nashville. Let's see. What else? Oh, let me know if you have like any favorite restaurants in New York. I'm going to New York next week for I'm doing like this like little TV segment like with Divi. It's not like that big of a deal. So don't worry about it. It's just national television. Don't stress. That's actually why right after this, I'm going to get my nails done because I figure I probably, my nails are growing out pretty bad. And I think I'm going to go short. I'm thinking about just like chopping them all off and just going as short as possible. Like as short as you can go without bleeding at the, you know, cuticle is how short I want to go. And then I might go gel. I might go gel

instead of dip. So I don't know. We'll just see. You guys tune back in. I know you're on the edge of your seats about that one. But yeah, so it's been a pretty good week. Like I can. said I said I've been saying no to a lot of things I was supposed to go to um Amazon prime creator summit which I was really excited about but it's the same week as Stella's birthday and I really want I'm doing like this whole thing on her birthday morning and then the next day is my birthday not I have literally no plans not that it matters but just is and like maybe somebody wants to surprise me with something like I don't know maybe I just need to be here you never know And then that weekend is Stella's birthday.

So it's just kind of a lot. And I was like, I feel like I probably need to be here. And then what else? I don't know. The beginning of this episode, I thought I would start off with talking about like influencer friendships. Now, the reason being is because every time I do a Q&A, I get asked about this, like nonstop.

And being on the internet for 13 years, you go through a lot. of different stages of like friendships in this space, not even just like implements or friendships, but like industry friendships, people doing similar things. It's hard because you, you grow so much, but like you meet some of these people like 10 years ago. Like Laura Bevelin has been my friend for almost 10 years, which is so wild. And we've just always, you know, stayed in touch. We've always like, you know, really met with like a different, even though we're in different stages of life. We're always like it just is so natural. But then there's some friendships that you kind of just like grow out of. And it's not even because anything happened. It's just like you grow out of

friendships. And that's just so normal. The only difference is, is that our friendship at one point was like highly documented like 24-7. And so then whenever you're like not friends with them anymore, it seems like it's this big thing. But like maybe it's not or maybe it actually was. I don't know. And so the best thing about where I'm at in the space now with friendships is I have literally no one that I wouldn't call or text if I needed to. Even the people that like people assume that I'm not close with anymore. Like I probably do text them at least like once every two or three months. And you know, maybe we're not like best, best, best friends.

But like we're very cordial and like we have like a relationship of some capacity. And so that's kind of like the best. place to be, especially whenever you really try to start building friendships that are going to make sense for your kids and family long term. But I have had some crazy encounters and crazy things happen that, you know, I thought I would just like kind of refer to. And if you're going to try to like, you know, do this puzzle and like pinpoint which friend did what, you're probably not going to be able to because this is over the course of like 13 years. And so it's almost going to be impossible to like, oh, I know what she's talking about or no. But like, I guess I just wanted to talk about,

like I have had a lot of heartbreaks in this space. Like, and like I said, I just think it's natural, it's normal, you know, people's insecurities or people's struggles, even mine that sometimes are like, they just kind of conflict with like another person in your life. And it's just like a not a healthy relationship. And sometimes it's just, it is what it is. But yeah, I thought I've go through that and then kind of just like share what I've learned about friendships in my 30s because things really do change and um and especially when you have a family you have to approach them so differently and so anyway um I wish I could do like a two truths and a lie or like a true or false like and I read things and then you all can tell me if you think they're true or false

but I'm here by myself so so just all. All these things are truths. But so one of the first, like, craziest encounters that I had with the influencer friend was, so I started out being with, like, I was friends with this person that also was posting content of some capacity, whether it was YouTube, Instagram, blog, I'm not going to tell you. But it got to the point, and this does happen in this industry where sometimes, like, you're, like, the same level as a friend and you know you're both like whatever everything is like just seems very equal but then one friend they get like a spike or they get like they get a really cool interview

or they do something like outside of the norm well i had kind of gotten like one of those spikes and i have had a friend a really good friend of my tell me that when i look at you it makes me want to throw up, you disgust me because my posts were getting more likes than hurts. And that's a really tough place to be when a friend tells you that because you want your friends to be happy for you and you want to be able to not be jealous of each other or you want to be able to support each other. And yeah, that's hard to. here and how do you work past the one? Well, I always knew that it probably wasn't personal. It was probably coming from like an insecurity. So we were able to work past it. And I was like,

and sometimes I make the joke still to this day, you know, because I know that it's just like coming from a like insecure place or maybe they're like down on like where they're at in their life. And yeah, that that one was like probably the first time that I experienced that where I was like, wait, but I thought we were on the same team. I thought it was like, oh, good. I also had a friend, this is so funny, run away. Sorry, it's not funny. I had a friend run away on a trip to a bus stop. This is true. Because we had like a group photo with like a bunch of friends and I posted the photo like first out of like everybody. Like, you know, like we're all like editing our photo. This is like a long time ago. We're all editing our photo and like I posted my photo first and it upset them so much that

like I got mine up like 10 minutes before Thursday that they literally ran away on a trip to a bus stop and wanted to go home and I had to chase them to a bus stop and asked them what was going on and try to convince them to come back to the hotel and it was crazy like it was so crazy because I was like, I, that was also at the time where I didn't know that 10 minutes made that big of a difference. Did it even really make the difference? I don't know. But that was another crazy situation. I've had other influencer friends in the space that like I thought we were like good with, like tell brands. And this has happened multiple times and it probably happens to a lot of people. Tell brands like they won't work with them if Danny works with them or if like Danny gets this

first or they get this first the friend will say hey like I will work with you as long as you don't work with Danny or as long as you don't give Danny that code or like as long as you you know and the thing is is that this stuff comes out like and I think people are trying to do it secretly but it comes out and so I have and so it's hard because like I know but they don't know that I know you know what I mean and so that's all that's hard because like I'm gonna be honest when I'm trying to negotiate a deal or something I'm not even really thinking about other people and I always feel like we all have like our own lanes you know so like I don't I I wouldn't have even thought that those things would have ever mattered but

it can be hurtful when you think that they're like kind of like I said like on your same team um I've had people try to steal my employees like a lot um And say, like, hey, if you work for her, then Danny, like, if you want to work for me, like, you can't work for Danny. I've had people, I don't know, like, oh, I've had somebody was mad at me because I agreed to do a giveaway with one of their, like, arched nemes, like, their enemies. And that's hard because I'm just like, it's a giveaway. And, like, it's not like we're sleeping in bed together, you know.

you know and then I've had people stop like if you don't you know if you're not included and like whatever they're pursuing then they just kind of stop inviting you around and that's that just happens and that that one was really hard for me because that was like back in the air whenever like everybody was like always going to like Mexico and all these trips and I was always invited and then all a sudden I wasn't invited and I was like what the heck and so that one was painful because I'm like wait I thought we were like real friends not business friends and so a lot of this stuff, it's hard because like I always want my friendships in this space to be like actually like we're friends outside of like influencing, but it does get in the way. Like I've seen it,

how it gets in the way it becomes like competitive. And it's, I've had like some friendship breakups also because like I fall in love like fast and hard. Like I'm like a if I like you, Like, I want you. Like, I want you around. And I will kind of put like 100% effort. And if I put that effort in, I kind of expect for us to be friends for life. And then when I found out that like we're not going to be, it's, it is, it's heartbreaking. Like it hurts like a breakup, you know.

I've gotten better at it. But that's why there was like also an arrow. I was like, I'm not being friends with anybody online. like I feel like I was like so hurt and like so that I was like I'm just done like um but now I have really changed the way that I've because that's a nice thing is like the best part about having influence your friends or people in the same industry like friendships and this is like they just get it like there are so many like unspoken nuances that I don't even have to explain to them because if I was like with a with somebody that didn't like understand you kind of just

seem like you're being bratty. Like I'm like, oh, sorry. Like, I just posted the story and I put like the wrong hashtag and like, like somebody, a normal, like, some of people like, okay, like, that's so silly. Why do they care? But like if somebody has the same industry, they're like, oh, I get it. Like, I won't talk to you for like five seconds. Like just do your thing, like repost it. You know, and it just seems silly and stupid to just be on your phone when it's like, oh, you got to get this thing up or whatever. And so that's the nice thing about, you know, having people in the same space is like there's so much that you can relate on and it's there's just so many nuances that we just hold like we just see eye to eye we get it you can support each other it's

so much fun um but yeah there's a lot of like heartbreak so which i think is just common in like any this happens in high school you know i i remember this is happening high school that's why this one girl keyed my car in high school because i made lieutenant of the dance team and she thought i was horrible dancing and honestly I tell everybody I was I definitely was bad and so she probably did deserve more than me but I don't think it was very nice to keep my car today's episode is sponsored by shopify and man do we love shopify over at divvy uh divvy would not exist without shopify um running a business doesn't have to mean burning yourself out the smarter path is using tools that cut out the busy work and let you focus on what really matters.

That's exactly what Shopify does for us. So when we first started Divi, we had no idea what we were doing. We'd never sold anything. Well, I had sold, like, things in person a lot. Like, my mom used to take me to San Antonio, and I used to sell fake cats on the streets. But I had never sold anything, like, really online, like, legitimately. So we first, we launched every.

We had one skew. And Jordan was like, okay, we have to use Shopify. And what was so crazy is that like we still use like the same template like everything that we used from day one. I remember the day that we launched and I was like we actually out of town. We were on a trip and it was so cool to like pull up the app and just see all of the orders coming in like from all over the country. It was wild. And so that's probably like one of the things that I love the most is that we were able to run our business from wherever because we could do it all through this app or on the website. It makes it really, really.

really easy for us to run our business. As a founder, I'm not in the divvy office often, so it's really nice to be able to see how the sales are doing and everything is just like right on my phone. For me, the biggest win is being able to check live view from my phone and see where orders are coming from, whether I'm at home, traveling, or the lake house. Shopify, let's see, run my business from anywhere. They also pride themselves on all in one simplicity so you can work smarter, not harder. example, instead of juggling logins or piecing together apps, Shopify puts everything in one place, website, payments, shipping, even selling across social platforms. That's hours saved every week. Shopify also has AI tools like Shopify magic and sidekick. They act like a built-in business assistant.

They help with directions, reports, editing images, and even content ideas. So you spend less time guessing and more time just doing. Whether you're starting with just a side hustle or going to, all in on a brand. Shopify makes it simple. You don't need a big team, just you and an idea. That's true. Jordan and I started with just us too. Shopify replaces the need for a full staff when you're just starting out. Another thing I wanted to touch on, especially when you're first starting your business or launching your website, is it's so important to have good customer support because, like, I remember when we first launched, we didn't expect that much traffic and we had to like quickly upgrade to like another level or something. I don't remember exactly what it was, but Shopify had like the best customer support.

We were in, I think we were in Mexico when we were launching and like they were available and responding to us like in real time, which is always so nice to feel like you have, you know, Shopify on your team, even though they're not technically a part of your business. So I just wanted to share that point with y'all as well. With Shopify, you can work smarter, not harder, but the tools that free you up to focus on your vision and not on logistics all the time. So if, if you're not, you're not, you you've been sitting on the idea whether it's merch products or even just testing something out it's never been easier head to shopify.com slash janny and make it happen also side note if and when we ever do merch for de-influenced which i'm so curious if y'all would even want merch i would love to we will

definitely be using shoptifying let me just say i am so ready for fall coffee a cozy blanket maybe even a candle burning That's just my happy place. Don't even get me started on fall clothes. Oversight sweaters, leggings. There's just nothing better, especially since I'm pregnant. But here's the thing. Comfort starts underneath it all. And once I switched to Mi Undies, I realized how much difference the right pair can make.

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pair, it's literally on them. No stress. Over 30 million pairs sold. Well, that's a lot. Clearly, I'm not the only one obsessed. And yes, I wear them all the time. So this is me saying I use them and you should too. Right now, as a listener of my show, you can get cozy and spooky for less with deals up to 50% off. Just go to meundies.com slash janny and to promo code Danny. That's meundies.com slash Danny promo code Danny for up to 50% off. Meandies comfort that's made for fall. You know, I always do, when I go back on like friendship, I wanted to give some like tips for friendships and like focusing on, you know, how to, I don't know, use your discernment and

like who to really pour into. But I do feel like so much of friendships, even if like you aren't in the wrong and they are, it's still so much of like looking inward and not looking outward. Even whenever there's like people that, um, like for example, like when the girl ran away to the bus stop and I had to chase her, like I literally, I'm like, that's crazy. Like that's crazy. Like I didn't do anything wrong. But I think that if it's a friend that you really care about and you want to pursue a friendship with, like even though you feel like you didn't do anything wrong, it's still okay to look inward and be like, okay, like within, you know, with her insecurities and within like our friendship, like,

what is something that I could have done different? How can I apologize? How can I also maybe stand my own ground and say, hey, like, I'm sorry. Like, I think what you are asking me for is like unacceptable and I'm not going to be able to be that type of friend. And maybe the friendship goes, you know, separate ways. But just always looking inward instead of just blaming the other person because I've had a lot of friends too that are like, they get in these tiffs or these fights with other friends and I'm like, hey, listen, I see both sides. And if you're not, if you're just going to be looking outward and blaming this other person for everything and not looking inward, you're not going to get anywhere. And so just for the friends that I truly feel like

it's really, I know their heart, I know where they're at, I always try to like look inside first. So when I think a lot of friendships and with jealousy, like I really do. And I think it's very, easy in this industry to be jealous of other people because your numbers and your everything is like just out public, you know? Like it's not like, I don't know, when you're in a lot of other spaces, a lot of things are private. Like people don't know, like maybe if you got a promotion or they don't know. And maybe they do in some ways. But like in our careers, it's very public. A lot of things are very public. What brands you're working with, who you're with all the time, what friends you're posting with how many likes you're getting. And it's really, now that more people are on like Instagram,

you compare yourself a lot more. And it's easier now to become jealous of someone. And so what I always try to do is I try to like check the root of the jealousy. Like if I'm feeling jealous about somebody, like, is it really about them? Is it because maybe I'm actually just insecure in what I'm doing? or am I finding like, am I finding my worth in my likes or am I finding my worth in, you know, what brands I'm working with? I always ask myself, am I comparing myself all the time? Like, am I online too much and I'm just constantly comparing myself and I'm never actually, I'm ever actually content with anything that I'm creating and anything that I'm doing? And I think it's totally fair and totally okay to take a step back. I've had to tell my friends, because sometimes

I've actually had friends come to me and say, hey, it hurts my friends. feelings when you don't like my photos. Like I've had that actually many times or like you never engage on my stuff or you never watch my stuff. And I have told them I'm like, I just want you to know that this is like a personal boundary. Like some days I take breaks from online and some days I'm like totally at it. I'm on there. But to rely on me to consistently be like liking and commenting, I can't be that type of friend for you because I have to take care of like my mental health and I have to say, hey, like there's days, you know, where I'm just with my kids on a Saturday. And I didn't even know like you posted even though you're one of my best friends like I love you but you're not on I'm not

putting on notifications I'm not doing all of that and please understand that it has nothing to do with you it has nothing to do with the fact that I don't love you it's just that like I'm taking care of my mental health you know and if a friend doesn't understand that and doesn't understand that boundary then they're probably not a good friend that's why I don't ever I never get like people always ask me like do you get offended when people share neuterful or share other brands and share uh no I I really don't. I mean, there's some where, like, I get a little confused because I know that they're using Divi behind the scenes.

But I really don't because, first of all, I feel like there's space for all of us. And I actually have had, like, two really, really good sweet friends call me and be like, hey, Danny, like, Nutraful just offered me, like, X amount. Divi only offered me this amount. I think I'm going to take Nutrifle. Are you okay with that? Which I thought was so sweet and, like, so respectful. And, like, they didn't even have to do.

that. And I have a lot of friends that just like shared and like support divy because they want to support me. And that's like so, so sweet. And I so appreciate that. But I would never ask someone like to not, to not like not like not like not to do what is best for their family or for like their business. Even though I want I want divvy to be able to afford everyone. Unfortunately, neutral full is just like way bigger than us. Like they're like I don't even know how much they're worth. But like they have massive influence or budgets. And one day divvy might too. And so you better what. out neutral fold. I'm just kidding. We're actually kind of different. Like you can use divy and take neutral fold. No, I don't take it personally. And I hope that like when my friends see that I didn't

like like their post or something, they don't take it personally because it's really, I don't think that social media is a complete reflection of like all of us, like of you, you holy or like me as a person, like a complete reflection of me. Like there's so much more like so much more complexities to a person, then like, you know, just because they post with like five people on their Instagram doesn't mean that they don't have 15 other friends behind the scenes, you know? Like, I don't even think I post when I play tennis, but I play tennis almost every single day. But I don't post it because I'm playing tennis. I can't do both, you know? So we all have like very complex life. So anyway, and then I think that the most important, like, or not most important, one thing to keep

in mind is it is so attractive, not even in a like loving. or a romantic relationship, but also in a friendship when someone is secure and confident. Like when I have a friend that I'm like, hey, sorry, like, I can't come to Lake this weekend I'm hanging out with Ashley. And they're like, cool. Like, next time you're around, like, call me. And they're confident and they're like not offended or her. It's so attractive. I'm like, that's so cool. Like they're just so mature. But when you start getting butt hurt about everything and like you cause a scene about every, it's harder to be friends with someone. like that because it just to me it lacks a little maturity you know so my whole thing is like check

yourself try to find your confidence try to find your independence try to make yourself feel good about yourself in other ways than just like relying on everybody else's feedback all the time um you know a big thing like with friendships I think is to like also be grateful I think people like to be around people that are grateful for what they have like I used to hang out with people that have like way more followers or way more brand deals or whatever it was. And I think that, you know, I always try to be grateful for like, I would be to get 200 likes on a photo and they got 200,000. I'd be like, 200 is really good for me. And they'd be like, yes, go, Danny. And they'd be proud of me. Even though compared to them, it's nothing. But for me, it was something big. And so I think everybody's just

kind of like celebrating their little wins and they're being grateful for what they have is also very attractive in in friendships which also you know kind of makes you reflect daily and be like oh wait I have a lot to be grateful for and I just love hanging out with people that are like positive I love it so much it's just it it it um not wears off on me it rubs off on me and I it makes me a better person too and I think whenever you get sometimes have you ever been like a group of girls and like they're all just complaining about like the food at a restaurant and then we all just talk about how bad the food is the entire hour. It's like, why do we waste our hour just being negative, you know?

And so, so anyway, I think just being grateful and reflecting is also really healthy in friendships. And then nurturing your identity and building your self-esteem and trying new things and learning and reading and investing in your passions and your hobbies and journaling. Like, just taking care of yourself will put you in such a good place to like, if you're pouring into yourself, you can be pouring out to other people. and other friendships as well. And I think that that's why some of these friendships I've had have gone south where people's jealousy or people's insecurities just like bleed out from within because they're so empty on inside. And like all their,

they're putting all their worth on like a likes, the likes of their photo. And that's why it matters so much to them that I posted first or that I got more, whatever. It's just a, it's a disaster. And so just nurturing your own identity outside of that, communicating your needs to a friend.

like I said um you know I will like there's been some birthday parties of like some of my friends kids that I have like been like listen I love you I love your children like I want you to be in my life but like I will not be able to go to like the birthday party because like I'm not in a good place I'm in my first trimester I'm feeling really depressed and this has nothing do with you but like communicating your needs to each other and saying hey it would really matter to me though if you showed up for an hour okay okay I can make the sacrament you know what I mean and then just like getting it all out there to prevent any type of like animosity. I think it's just really important to stay like in communication, creating healthy boundaries, having the conversation. I have a very good,

like my friend Sarah Rose is very confrontational like in a healthy way and she'll be like, hey, you know, are you coming Tuesday? Why? Like, you know, and she just like wants to get to the, and it's very like helpful and very healthy. And then celebrating your friends because at the end of the day we all are on the same team like we really are and it's so fun like if you can just change change your perspective with your friends and instead of being jealous of them being like whoa that girl is my friend like that's like she's mine she's my friend like and she's killing it it's so much more fun to celebrate your friends when you're just like oh yeah she's my daddy she's my gal you know instead of feeling competitive with them because at the end of the day nobody can be you and

nobody can be heard. Like you are who you are. Like I said, muting social media, muting social media accounts. I have some of my, you know, friends on mute because I just know I don't want to like, I want my friendship to be with them. I want it to be authentic with them. I don't want it to be seen through the lines of social media. And I think that that's totally healthy. And I have some friends, but I'm just like, you can put me on me. I don't care. It's like not real. No, social media is not always real. I've always told people to have like a secret life online that, you know, is sacred to you, private moments that you keep private conversations. You keep private friendships. You keep private hobbies. You don't have to share 24-7. It's just really,

it's a really healthy way to kind of live your life. And then my other biggest thing when it comes to friendships is just like to continually like pray for your friends. Ask them like what they're needing to in their, you know, prayer life or what they're struggling with being vulnerable with them, not feeling like you always have to share just like all the good things because like, sorry, but like nobody wants to hang out with somebody that their life is perfect all the time because nobody's life is perfect all the time. Another piece of advice, if you're struggling with just like making friends or feeling like you have a group, become the planner of your group. Like dub yourself as like, I am the party planner and I will be the one to plan everything.

And, you know, take the extra work on and make the effort to like plan events. It doesn't have to be really extravagant. Like my thing is like I always have PJ sweatpants pizza nights at my house. I order the pizza. Nobody puts on makeup. We all hang out and sometimes we'll play games. That is not complicated to plan. I have some friends like Janelle who is like overachiever, amazing at planning. She loves planning things. And so she will like make it a theme or like make it. And that's great for them. I love that. That's just not me. I'm not like that creative. I don't really enjoy planning events that much. And so. you know, it's kind of take like what you're interested in and, you know, take it into like

control and lead your group. And then what just happens is all just starts trickling down. Like, then you're just, they start inviting you. You start building this group. It's like, yeah, sometimes you can't just wait around. Like you got to, you got to be the playmaker. I love creating like rituals together with my friends like Thursday morning walks or Tuesday, Thursday tennis or Bible study Friday mornings. Like those are all things that I do with some of my friends. And they're just built into like the mundane parts of your life instead of feeling like you always have to do planning these like fun events. Like just, you know, do a workout class together, do a Bible study together, do a cooking class together, go to the grocery store together, go on a walk together. And it can be like a 45 minute thing. Like you don't have to hang out with your friend all day long.

but building some type of like weekly ritual is amazing especially like that's why I love football season like use things like football season to like make new friends because like honestly I don't even think I really liked football at first I just liked the fact that it was an excuse to come together and just like hey do you want to come over and like watch the football game and we never actually even watch the football game no I do but like it's just use like cultural relevant things in life like oh the summer I turned pretty season finale um I'm going to invite girls over. Or, you know, the Super Bowl, let's do a theme where we all dress up like our husbands for the Super Bowl. I just have phone with it, you know. And then like I said earlier,

is just make sure that you continue to share like the unpolished parts of your life too. You know, be honest about your struggles, you know, find depth in your friendships so that you can like grow with honesty and don't feel like you have to like put on this persona. If there's a friend that I feel like I have to put on a show for, it doesn't usually last long for me. And if they're not really like willing to go to that next level for me, I'll still be friends with them, but it's just like not really worth it. Because when we get older, like we don't have as much time. You got kids.

And it's like, if I'm going to spend an hour with you, like I need, we need to go deep. So yeah, I mean, I feel like friendships, like I said, when you're 30, their friendships are always hard. I think my friendships were more challenging when I was 20 than they are now. now. Maybe it's just because, you know, we kind of mature and we grow, but friendships are so important. And there's nothing worse in feeling lonely. Like, I felt lonely for so many years when I first moved to Dallas because I was like so obsessed with work that I never put a lot of effort into my friendships. And when I feel close to my friends, like I feel like I can like conquer the world.

I feel like I can do anything because I know no matter what happens, like I'll always have this community to like fall back to and I know these I had these people that like really fully know me and I think that's how God like really wants us to intent like to live our lives is like to be known and to have people supporting us and so um yeah if you're one of those people that just struggles with friendships just know that I've had a friend tell me that my face makes someone to throw up there you go um so anyway um there was other this this was like an interesting first of all I asked on my Instagram, I was like, what do y'all want me to talk about in this podcast or dive deep into? And someone said pop culture. They really want to know more about pop culture. And I haven't been

so into pop culture lately, but I do think this conversation about Bad Bunny performing at the Super Bowl halftime show is really interesting. So for those of y'all that live on a rock, Bad Bunny is set to, he agreed to perform at the NFL halftime Super Bowl, which has been crazy because it has triggered a lot of kind of cultural backlash. So Bad Bunny is he's a singer. He sings in Spanish. He's from Puerto Rico, which just, if you guys don't know, that is considered like American. So a lot of people are upset because he sings in Spanish. And they're like, that's not very American. I'm like, yeah, but he's from Puerto Rico, so it kind of is. But yeah, he's kind of gotten like a lot of backlash. And I get it. He's very, uh, I don't understand all the lyrics to his

songs, but from what I do understand, they're pretty raunchy. So it is kind of weird that he's like performing at like a very family friendly, friendly half time Super Bowl, you know, event. But like, Does anybody remember when Justin Timber, like, ripped off Jana Jackson's top? Like that also wasn't very family friendly, but that happened. But anyway, so in response, Turning Point USA is organizing a competing All-American halftime show, which I thought that there was other drama because if you guys follow Corey Ashbery and Forrest Frank, Corey Ashbury is like a big Christian singer. And he posted like, I don't know,

maybe a week and a half ago or so about how, when Bad Bunny was announced, he wanted to build his own family-friendly halftime show. And like Forest Springs said he was in, like a bunch of like Christian artists were like, yeah, like we're in, like let's do it. And all they needed was like a TV network, well, and like a lot of money to make it happen.

So they had been kind of like throwing out this idea and I was like oh my gosh I love forest frank I was like let's do it it be great and then turning point USA like you know a week later said that they were doing the same thing so then it kind of like broke it kind of like there was just more drama because there were there were two halftime shows that were kind of competing for the spot outside of the real halftime show anyway um don't we just love like christian ticot drama it's just it's crazy um but apparently turning point USA and like corey and forest frank have all like decided that they're going to do something together so that would be great so if you're not into bad bunny and you want to watch something more family

friendly that will be going on which i'm actually really excited about because um just personally i don't think my my kids are going to be into bad bunny I feel like who's this guy they don't know any of his music and so it'd be really we play like praise and worship in our house every morning so i think my kids will love it um you know like us parents we're all about family friendly you know um um but I just thought it was interesting, like, to think about or talk about how a lot of people were objecting to bad bunnies, like musical style, his public persona, his criticism of the president, his use of Spanish lyrics, his gender fluid style. Like a lot of people are, um, are just like upset about that. He decided not to tour in the U.S. because his fears of ice, which also adds up. He has a lot of probably like Hispanic, people that come to his shows since he sings in Spanish. And so, yeah, I think my biggest thing is that people don't understand that Puerto Rico's in the U.S. That part just like really, I was like, guys, come on.

But like I said, I did want, I think the best way to kind of decide these things sometimes because you have such opposing views. And I believed this with, I saw a post about how someone, was really upset with Taylor Swift because she was advertising Target and they were like, she's leaning too much into consumerism and making people go buy this and buy that and then she sells this and then she sells that. I think the best way to decide these things is just to have an open market and let the markets decide. Instead of getting so upset about this or that, I feel like it's always going to be divided and there's always going to be like, we should do this,

no, you should do this. My thing is like let the markets decide. like everybody put their best foot forward and like it would be if you really are so opposed to this type of person like performing then put your money where your mouth is and go watch the forest frank version of the half time show and blow it up into something that we all think it is so instead of sometimes i feel like it's it's not as helpful to just talk crap about one thing when we should just be like praising and like getting so excited about another thing does that make sense it's like we've we send so much time being a negative and being upset about something when we should just be like talk about what we love you know like do we really have to push something

down to make something else greater i don't know maybe and i guess it depends um but so yeah my thing is i think it's really cool what forest frank t turning point usa what all they're doing with this half-time show especially because it's a me family friendly and especially because i think there's be a lot of christian artists and it'll be airing like literally during the halftime show so you can just switch over go watch it let your kids watch it and then tune back in. So I'm excited about that. So I thought I would share that with you guys

if you're looking for something more family-friendly. Speaking of Taylor Swift, this album has gotten a lot of criticism. And there was one TikTok I saw that people were like, this is definitely bots. But I don't think it's bots. Taylor Swift's album has gotten a lot of pushback. When I personally think the album is,

very playful, joyful. It's like radio friendly if you take out the explicit words and catchy and goofy. Especially if you listen to her interviews, like her song Wood, which has these kind of like sexual innuendos like would, you know, or what does she talk about? I'm not going to say, but you guys can go look it up. But like, for example, the morning that it played or that it came out, I played it for Stella and Stratton or no just Stella and I listened to the whole lyrics I had no idea it had it had anything like any innuendos I just took it for face value I had no idea what I was talking about um but people are saying that it's like jarring it's over sexual it has essential lyrics to it the innuendos are too much I thought I feel like it's just goofy personally um I just feel like she's being silly and if you watch the

interview. She's like, I don't know how it got. It started out so innocent and it really was about you know, these superstitions. She was writing a song about superstitions and then they just started having fun with the lyrics and then it just got it turned into what it is. The song actually romantic is a disc track and a lot of people said it was like petty or mean or immature. They said it lacked emotional depth. I must be a dummy because I thought it was emotionally deep. my theory that I had on people not liking the Taylor's Swift album was like if you have a low IQ then you love it and if you have a high IQ then you hate it because it doesn't like challenge your intellect enough. Some of the people's theories are that if you're a happy person

you love the album but if you're an unhappy person you hate it. I don't know. Father Faker probably had the most provocative lyrics that were a little cheap and risky. it interpolates George Michael on the song Father Figure. So a lot of people think that it has to do, it has to be about Olivia Rodrigo because she interpolated one of Taylor Swift's songs, but didn't give Taylor Swift credit, which interpolated is like when you take a part of their song and then you build on top of it and you make it your own.

And so because she interpolated George Michael's on Father Figure, they think it's all about interpolation or whatever. and they're convinced it's about Olivia Rodriguez because Olivia Rodriguez used to be obsessed with Taylor Swift kind of like her mentor and then Olivia interpolated her song and Taylor got upset and made her pay her for it. And Olivia's like, why do you care?

You're like this massive super star and I'm like nobody and why are we fighting over this? Canceled is, I'm pretty sure it's about Blake Lively. But I don't think that they're like good. I don't think that they're like friends now. I think that she just kind of like wrote the song as kind of an olive branch, but I don't think they have any intentions of being friends. Wishlist, people hate it because they just think it's so cringe.

I think it's so cute and so relatable. Like we needed some Taylor Swift songs that we could sing about our husbands, and we finally got one, you know? A lot of us are kind of sick about sick. Like I can't relate to a breakup song. I can't relate to it. And so it's, at least we're singing to everybody now. So like people said, it was underwhelming compared to our old albums.

that romance doesn't speak like heartbreak does, which is probably true. They said that the trajectory moved from introspection, folk, and pop just all too soon. I just really don't care what they say. I thought it was great, and I love to listen to it, and I don't get sick of any of the songs. And it just puts me in a good mood. I think that, for me, it's just really not that deep. You do have to think about, though, the lyrics that we were raised on and how we turned out, okay. Okay, okay. Like, Britney Spears, I'm a slave for you. Do you know, like, I started singing that when I was like, 10 years of, I'm a slave for you? And then, like, we're all doing our belly dancing. Hit me, baby, one more time. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty bad for, like, an eight-year-old to be singing. Like, I don't really think, like, opal light is that bad compared to, like, some of the Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears songs.

I'll take you to the candy shop I'll let you lick the lollipop The amount of times I've I've sang that in like sixth grade You know not grinding but like Trying to grind on a boy and it's It's ridiculous and like we're okay To be honest y'all I didn't even know what it meant

I'm not saying that is okay But I'm just saying it wasn't that deep We all liked the beat Is getting hot in here so take off all your clothes That was a really good one Yeah by Usher yeah we know what that was about um i want to make love in this club we used to see that all the time so i just do want to remind us that were the 90s any better i don't know just think about it

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Whether you're shopping for a weekend away, a big night out, or just a little style glow-up, your dream wardrobe is literally one-click away. So head to revolve.com slash janny, shop my edit, and take 15% off your first order with code Danny. Oh, that's pretty good. Like, I'm going to use it. Um, fast two day shipping. Easy returns. It's honestly the only place you need to shop from. That's revolve.com slash janny to shop my favorites and get 15% off your first order with code Danny. Offer ends October 30th. So happy shopping. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about burnout. You know that feeling when your body is exhausted, but your brain, just won't stop. I used to think it was just part of being busy. A few long weeks, a couple sleepless nights, but the truth is, burnout isn't just mental, it's biological. That's why I chose function health. It's the only health platform that can give you access to the kind of data most people never get, and the insights to actually do something about it. Inside function, you can test over 100 biomarkers, everything from hormones and toxins to heart health, inflammation,

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see what stress is doing to my body and start restoring balance, energy, and clarity. Burnout doesn't have to be the end of your story when you have data. You can actually take control. Learn more and join using my link in the description. Function is a near 360 view to see what's happening in your body and my first 1,000 listeners get a $100 credit towards their membership. Visit www. www. com slash danny or use gift code Danny 100 at sign up to own your health. So the last topic I want to talk about is something I was not intending to talk about.

I actually was going to talk about if Cabo is safe because, well, it kind of goes a little deep. But essentially there were some, like, Trump had some, like, military strikes on these, like, both struggling or smuggling drugs. And then two banners were posted by the cartel in Cabo, like, where people go visit, like threatening Americans. So I just wanted people to know that just in case you're going to Cabo soon. Like, just look it up.

I don't know. I mean, I looked it up. It was real. But y'all just do your research because I think that they're mad that we are striking. their drugs and they're having a harder time getting drugs into the country. So just, not that I want to talk about the cartel on this podcast, but I just, you know how this podcast goes. It's the smorgasmergous work of just Danny's brain. So now let's talk about porn. I told you. So I wasn't planning on talking about this, but a lot of what I mentioned on this podcast is just like what I'm learning or

what I'm, you know, listening to over the week. And so Bonnie Blue was recently interviewed, um, on Modern Wisdom, which I love that podcast. It's just, if you are just like bored and you're doing something and you want to listen to Modern Wisdom is amazing. He covers so many different topics and you learn so much. Well, uh, he, she was being interviewed by Lewis Perry. Luis Perry, sorry. And, um, for those of all that don't know who Bonnie Blue is, Bonnie. Bonnie her real name is Tia Billinger is a British adult film actress and content creator

so kind of like a porn star she was born in 1999 so how old is she oh my gosh she's a baby Jenny if you're born in 1999 how old are you are you born in 1999 oh weird okay so you're 20 she's 26 the big thing that put her on the map even though she's become like I think a big

a big I don't know if she's only fans or what she does but she became pretty big online I remember hearing about it in January. She slept with a thousand, 57 men in 12 hours, which that's 88 men per hour. Wait, how is that even possible? You have to do it like, they each have like less than a minute. Oh my gosh.

Oh, Lord. That's just, it kind of makes you sick a little bit. But they did an interview with her because Louise Perry is a journalist, and she's very like conservative. when it comes to like the sexual revolution. And she's really trying to kind of fight what's happening in, in, uh, just like society with like porn. And she's trying to like, you know, advocate for a lot of this to be illegal.

So you had really two different opposing views. Um, but when she interviewed Bonnie, you know, and she tried to understand if she had been, you know, traumatized at a young age or like, struggled with mental health. health or why she does this. And I mean, the only reason she said was really just for money. Like she just, it's good money. She's like, I get paid. I don't care. I don't get grossed out. I'm not traumatized. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Bonnie's whole point was, you know, if you're, because something that they brought up on the interview was like, don't you feel like you're like ruining marriages? Because a lot of married men come to her. And for content.

And she's like, no, if you are struggling in your marriage or something is going on, like that's between you guys. That has nothing to do with me. And the fact that he's there means that there's a bigger problem that I, yeah. So that's kind of like her reasoning. I'm not saying I agree with it. I'm just telling you that's what I heard on the podcast. A big thing that they cover on this podcast is like just because someone has consent,

does that mean that there aren't coercive forces like economic need, inequality, or gender norms that aren't influencing that choice, because there probably are. Bonnie Blue's whole thing is that like sleeping with someone is a hobby, it's really not meant to be anything more, it's just a hobby. And I don't know, it kind of like just really scared me like listening to that whole conversation because I know that the porn industry, porn is just so dangerous for a lot of men, families, women, relationship. What typically happens with like people or men or anyone that like, you know, views that type of content is usually they, each time they need something more and more to like

fulfill their needs. And so then they turn into like like crazy fetishes and like weird things. And then it then it becomes inappropriate and then maybe they're pushed so much that they're watching things that are illegal. And it's like just a really bad slippery slope that a lot of men would probably admit to. I have some like crazy statistics, 64%. Also, if you want to like, if your kids are around, I don't know, maybe you don't want them to listen to this part. I'm not going to say anything like really vulgar. It's just all facts, but still maybe you don't want your like children around. So maybe just make them put another room. But 64% of men under the age of 25 really want like there to be more like stronger laws and regulation on porn, which is up from 51.

percent in 2013. So they want to be more conservative and the reason is because they know that porn is essentially like ruining their lives. Let's see, 91.5% of men from 18 to 73% consume porn in the last month. That's 91%. That's almost

100. And 60% of women did. Young adults 18 to 25 show higher usage probably because it's so accessible and they're probably more savvy than like an 80 year old man. which is sad, but it's true. 57% of young adults are consuming it monthly.

20% of men use it daily. It's so accessible. One of the other crazier facts is Pornhead reported 42 billion visits in 2022. 42 billion. That's insane. It's so, it's so scary to think about. So, I don't know. I just wanted to go through, like, because I,

with the sexual revolution you just had all these people that were like hey it's not that big video it's not that deep you know it's like danny listening to taylor swift it's really not that deep you don't have to you know make you don't have to like you know slat shame girls for this you don't have to this is empowering for women this is just the norm we shouldn't be so ashamed of talking about it and i totally understand those arguments if you don't have a faith then like why why would you care? Like, why it, why would you care? You wouldn't have any morals.

And I think that that's kind of the scary thing about people that don't have like values or faith is because there's really no boundaries to anything. Because if that goes, then what's to say, why can't we get married to animals? Or why can't, okay, if we can be, if we can identify as a goat, then if I identify it as a goat, then I'm not a 17 year old kid and then beastiality is okay and then this is okay and then you can marry this person or marry this animal and like it just goes like so far that there's like literally no morals to anything and there's no limits on anything so you kind of just can reason your way into whatever you really want to do and you don't really have to be held accountable or have any consequences for anything

but um just if you are one of those people that's maybe interested in having values or having, you know, being interested in like what God says about sex because it's very clear about what God says about sex in the Bible. And I think it's the, I think the reason why God puts these like, you know, not these rules, but like the way he builds it, the way that he builds it and intends for us to live that way is truly to like protect you. Like I really think it's to protect us and to like help us live like the fullest life. And not because he's, trying to like take things away because god created sex the bible says sex is good it's sacred it's designed by god um it unites a husband and wife in love intimacy and partnership sexual intimacy

is for marriage which is very clear in hebrews 134 um which i think is like also a big thing that like a lot of christians hate to admit they're like they just they'll follow all the other things in the bible but like when it comes to waiting till you're married to have sex they're like very that one just goes in one near at the other and um but i really think it's to like protect us and to have like the most fulfilling marriage once you are married because then you don't have comparison you don't have um you know it's not like these men come in with like these crazy fetishes because they've been having like doing all these other crazy things like it's just very pure and it's really easy to like connect with someone when you just feel both like very um

honest and pure you know what i mean so i really do think he he does he like says this to protect us um he says in the bible that sex is about love intimacy and joy it's not just about reproduction it's not just about having kids like it really is to build like a deep connection um it's celebrated a lot in song of solomon like if you want to hear crazy stuff in the bible like you wouldn't even believe this stuff is in the bible like it's crazy it's very sexual but it's in song of solomon you can go read it or don't if you you know um bibles speaks about uh the misuse of sex like protecting making sure that you protect your heart and trust and protect your family and then also the fact that grace always wins so if you do make a mistake just know that like god does have grace and like it's going

to be okay and we can always ask for forgiveness and everything we do so it's not like oh my gosh you ruined your life because you didn't stay sexually pure like that's that's like any sin we can repent and that's like the amazing thing about Christianity is that like we all are sinners we all do make mistakes but I think the reason why God like plan things this way is because he wants the best for you and he wants you to live like the most fulfilled life. And so I don't know, it just kind of goes back to the fact that like all of these things will probably always be available as much as I mean I would love for porn to be outlawed and for it to be illegal and for you know Bonnie to like have a change in heart and for it to be less socially acceptable to, you know, post pictures of yourself naked online.

Like, that's crazy. But at the same time, it is a broken world. And like, will that ever happen? I don't know. Like, we can advocate as much as we can. But as Christians, like, at least we have some guidelines. At least we have, we don't have to listen to society. At least we know that we're, like, called to a different standard. It breaks my heart because I know that a lot of men, like, get caught up in it. And like, they don't want to be. Like, they don't want to be a part of that. they know it ruins their lives. They're like, man, I wish it wasn't out there. I wish it was harder to access. It's so easy to access now. And so I think for men, it's just really important for them to like be honest and like communicating with their community and other men and like talking to,

you know, therapists or whatever that they need to stay like off of that stuff because I really do think it ruins relationships. It ruins marriages. But that's something that they're going to have to like pursue themselves, especially in the meantime when this stuff is so, successful. And there's as much as I want it to be like an excuse and to be like, well, it's the Bonnie Blues of the world that are ruining this, that are ruining marriages. And it's the, it's the only fans and the porn hubs of the world. Don't get me wrong. It sucks. And I wish it wasn't out there. But at the same time, we can't just be blaming like the temptations. Like we really have to like protect ourselves a lot from all of that. And like, you know what's

going to trigger you. You know the spaces that like that's why, um, like Jordan is so he's very like careful about what he exposes themselves to like there's like this like website or app I can't remember what it's called and I wish I could tell you all because it would be so helpful but Jordan like learn that you can like install it to like Netflix or whatever and it literally will just take out all of the sex scenes and movies um and so you sometimes you're watching and it will just like skip like 15 seconds and like you just know oh they just did it like it's not like you it doesn't like ruin your viewer experience, but it just kind of takes that part out so that you're not even really tempted with it.

Because at the same time, it's like, we want to watch the Netflix show. You know, like we want to watch what's going on. But sometimes that stuff, especially for men, not saying it's not for women too, but especially for men, it's too much. They can't handle it, you know? And it's at least men know, like, at least men know and they're able to admit it and they're able to say, like, hey, I need to have these certain like apps of my phone that lock me out of this and I can't get it.

on to that or um it did show they were talking about in this podcast that I think recently it was only on it was on only fans that you now or maybe it was porn hub like you now have to like submit a picture of your like license or something you have to like register yourself now when you do watch something and it showed that it it limited the viewership by 50%. So like anonymity is something that increases like porn usage. And, when you are held accountable to your actions, it shows that it does decrease. So I'm really hoping that like more things like that happen where like you are going to be held to a higher standard. And like maybe it's like it's made public if you are somebody that's consuming. I don't know. I don't know.

But it's just so crazy because it just seems like this industry is so massive. It feels like we're fighting this uphill battle because it's like an addiction that a lot of men have. and especially as like Jesus and you know religion or whatever faith you have gets pulled more and more like further away from society it just is like anything goes and so it's really important for us to like stick to our boundaries and our values because otherwise we're all going to be marrying goats out of here that's all I have to say um so anyway you know I've been talking. I've been just jabbering for an hour and six minutes. So I'd love for you guys to just, I don't know, what do you think about the episode?

Just don't tell me about how you miss Jordan. I do too. I know it. Okay. Maybe you just tell me things. Maybe tell me about other deep dives you want me to do. Some people actually like it without Jordan. Just, you know, it's not a lot of people, but there are, there is a little niche out there that like these solo episodes. So thank you guys for that. For that. too. But make sure you check us out on Instagram at Deinfluenced, Deinfluence podcast and TikTok at DeMluence Podcasts. We love you guys and we'll talk to you later. Bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest

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