De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan - We’re Back… and Baby #4 Changed Everything

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

We’re back… and yeah, we had another baby  Baby #4 is here and somehow life feels completely different this time around. In this episode we’re catching you up on everything from newborn life and postpartum emotions to what it actually feels like going from 3 to 4 kids. We talk about how this baby has shifted our priorities, why we feel way less in control (in a good way), and what life looks like when you’re so outnumbered. Man… it’s good to be back We rounded up some great deals from a few of our favorite brands for you: Tossing the toxins has never been more convenient! For anyone grabbing the Premium Starter Kit, you can get 15% off at BranchBasics.com with our code DANI Shop minnow's spring 2026 collection at shopminnow.com and enter code MEETMINNOW15 at checkout to receive 15% off your first order. Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code DANI at monarchmoney.com in your browser for half off your first year. Give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince! Go to Quince.com/dani for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. If you're ready to take the next step in your life, whether that is merch, your own hair care line, or something in between, go to shopify.com/dani and make it happen. It doesn't matter where you're at in your entrepreneur journey, Shopify is there to make your life and selling journey easier. As a special offer for our listeners: Visit Unrealsnacks.com/DANI to get $2 off a bag of Unreal. Terms and conditions apply. Subscribe to our official YouTube channel, @deinfluencedpodcast, and follow along on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your De-Influenced fix. You can also find us on Instagram and TikTok at @deinfluencedpodcast. Thanks so much for listening and supporting the show! Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a dear media production. Hello and welcome back to your favorite podcast. De-influenced. We had a baby. He's here. If you're watching on video. Yeah, we're watching on video. Smith.

Laying right there. Baby Smith is in my arms. It's the best when they're this age. So he's like, what, five weeks old? Almost six. It's crazy. It's only been five weeks. It feels like a lifetime.

Is it five weeks or six weeks? Who knows? She's counting. Ugh, I know. Well, I figured you would be counting because six weeks is the mark. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I just don't think about it. You need to tell people what you're on.

What? You can tell them the shots that you've been taking. My peptides? Yeah. Oh, I'm on the Wolverine stack. Everyone knows about it. You need to tell them because I can tell that you're tired and you tell them why. Tell them what you do.

Oh, well, so. We're both just tired, but that's just like, you know, having a. It's more just like, I'm not really that like fatigue tired. I feel like mentally I'm tired. Yeah. You know, like how I feel is like there's like 700 things in my brain. Yeah. And I'm like trying to figure out like what to prioritize. And with four kids, there's just no way to sprint at the same speed as like we were before.

Yeah. So true. And so it's like I feel like we're both kind of like what's priority now, like what's We've had great conversations around this. I feel like this baby has changed me. Oh, yeah. Even your chiropractor in their little Eastern. Yeah.

But like not Middle Eastern. Like they're like Eastern philosophy. Yeah, yeah. Like she was like, you didn't just get birth to a baby. You gave birth to yourself. And I was like, she really did. Yeah, this baby has changed me in. And I think it's probably like half postpartum speaking.

But like I am so scared about missing a moment with. every single one of my children, like, which I've always been like that. But I've also always been like, well, I want to record the moment. I want to take a picture. I want to get a video, like, sell a luster tooth, like document it. You know, she's learning how to ride a bike, take a video. And like, I still do here and there, but I am so scared of missing the moment that, like, I will put my phone away for like 48 hours and I can't even find it because I'm like, I just want to soak up every single moment with every single child. I think it's also because this is probably my last baby. And so my biggest fear is like getting like five years,

10 years, 15 years down the road and being like, oh my gosh, I was living on my phone, working, whatever and not actually like enjoying and being present. It's one of my biggest like fears right now. And so, um, so I feel like this baby has changed me because I don't know. I also think I'm like probably I have a little postpartum anxiety. Like sorry, a little, a lot. Yeah. Like I have like a constant foam of anxiety over me. It's almost like when you like look at a latte, like the foam on top, it's just a little bit. But it's there, you know.

And I've never had postpartum anxiety. I've always had postpartum depression. And I don't feel depressed. It's tough. Which one's better? I would go with the anxiety. I live with the anxiety for sure. Yeah, me too.

Because the anxiety is like at least I still have a purpose. At least I still want to be alive. Yeah. Depression is like so, it's like, yeah. It's dark, man. It's a dark one. And it's so hard to like know that you have it when you're in it. But anxiety, it's so present.

I'm like, yeah, I have anxiety. Like I can't take a deep breath. The only downside with the postpartum anxiety versus the depression is like when you're depressed, like we all know it. Like you're in your room. You're sad. The anxiety, silent killer. Because it's like I don't, I'm thinking we're great. I'm thinking everything's going fine.

And then we, I look over and you're crying. And I'm like, what happened? So it's like, it's harder to predict. But I've been, I've been telling you most of the time. No, you've been telling me. I'm like, he'll be like, yeah, let's go to the mall. I'm like, I have anxiety. Yeah, yeah.

But I am going to talk to my psychiatrist about it on Thursday. Yeah. Part of me, I have this theory, you know, that you're actually on too many things. Well, I'm not on, I've only take two things. I know, like the. So I've always taken lexopros since I went through post-bartin depression. Right, which like, who isn't? You know?

Those are like, you can get those from like an M&M, a candy machine in these days. Okay. So, but what happens is when apparently like that can stop working. And I take like a very normal average dose of that. And but when I became, when I had my pre, what do you call it? Not prenatal depression, but like. There's another word for it. And basically I got depressed in my first trimester.

Yeah. And like all of those symptoms of like depression started showing up again. And so my medication, she was like, oh, this probably isn't working anymore. Let's add wellbutrin to your stack, which is one of them is like an antidepressant. And one is anti-anxiety. The wellbutrin's anti-anxiety. I don't know. I'm pretty sure.

I don't know. Anyway, when she first got on the well butron, it was like an upper for you. Because you remember, you like that first week? You were like, I'm back. And you were like, let's go to Mexico City. Let's go do this. And I was like, you're not yourself. And you were like, I feel great.

But then it kind of balanced. Yeah. For the first week, it was kind of strong. And then it just kind of, you become like normal. But anyway, so she said, she did say, like, once you have the baby and all of your hormones and all of that, like you, maybe I am taking too much. Maybe I need to stop taking the Wabutron. Yeah, I mean, I'm not a doctor.

Consult your own physician. But I would say that, remember when Alex Clark came on our podcast? She is a very big proponent of like SSRIs like screwing up females in particular females because of like just the hormones that females have over males and like long term use of SSRIs like having some lagging effect or diminishing return effect. And I'm just curious. But here's the question is, will your doctor tell you that? I mean, surely she's not making that much off of your, like, lexapro. No, my doctor's, like, cool, too. She, like, a little bit more.

She's a reproductive psychiatrist. She, like, specifically deals with, like, postpartum women. I was like, good, I've been postpartum for four years. Yeah, no, for sure. So I'm, like, her perfect client. Nothing, I would say this. Nothing that you're experiencing is out of the ordinary from the past five years of our life, like postpartum.

Yeah. So there's nothing like extremely out in the ordinary. In fact, I would venture to say this is probably the best postpartum. No, my last one was the best summit. You think? I had nothing. I was like perfect. Oh yeah, you're right.

That's why I did unmedicated again, remember? That's right. That's right. So I don't know. I mean, it may, it could be worse. It could be worse. It's a great way to look at life. It always can be worse.

We have realized. that it can always be worse it can always be worse well yeah so i had this baby and he's pretty freaking cute and i love him a lot and it's so weird like when he first came out he looked exactly like summit and now he looks so much like stratton to me he came out with the blonde hair once again not as blonde as summit summit is like a white blonde this this kid is like he's still blonde Blondered than our other babies, but he's such a good baby. He's so sweet. He's so cute.

He's a cutest baby in the entire world, like truly. She loves him. I love him. I love him to death. I mean, seriously. The only thing that's like kind of been weird too is like, I can't remember the other babies at this age. No, surely can't. I was like, I like, I keep on like trying to bring up stories or things.

She's like, did I love this other baby? I don't know. What was their name? I don't think I loved the other babies as much as this baby. I like, and he's like, Danny, you did. And I was like, no, I think when they cried, I didn't care. I told Jordan. I was like, you're fine.

You're a good mom. No, and you're like, no, Danny, you've always been really sensitive to them crying. But like, I don't, because like when this baby cries, I'm like, my stomach like drops out of my, like, I'm just like so distraught. It like makes me so upset when he's crying. And I was like, I don't think I cared about the other babies crying. I just, but it's, for me, it goes beyond, like, just the, the baby stages of our babies. Sometimes I, like, I don't feel like I remember the past, like, five years. Do you ever feel like that?

I cannot remember Stratton as a child, like as a baby. It's like, he just showed up. I, like, I, it is gone. Like, when Stratton from, like, three months to probably two years old, I, can you remember it? A little bit. A little bit. I can't remember Stella's a baby. I can remember Stella's baby.

I can't remember it. It's horrible. And then like honestly with us having our fourth, like sometimes we look at summit, we're like, who are you? I'm like, how did you get here? And he's like, seeing words. And I'm like, who taught you that one? It was amazing.

Because I feel like we've just been such a constant state. Like you have your first and then you're trying to survive 2002 the first time. And then you have a third. And then you're like, okay, you two got to like fin for yourself. and then you have a fourth right after the third and you're like the third never got to grow up yeah it's like the third was never a baby he's like raised on the streets no literally that's that baby has taught himself everything he's good too no he's like right honestly that's how we should be raising babies yeah and then you think of like these like ballerina farm characters that have nine nine kids do you have nine

i i can't even like my brain can't compute like it can't go there my brain can't compute like it can't compute thinking of like going to the pregnancies nine times but maybe she has like easier pregnancies in you yeah probably she really does but um or maybe like what if she like doesn't though then her her husband's the same i don't know dude he's the same i mean like what if their pregnancies are hard i don't think so but you have to remember a lot of these women ballerina prom they started years ago right like will you look up how old ballerina farm um what's What's her name? Something.

Hannah. How old was Hannah when she had her first baby? 20. With her first baby. So if you think about it. Yeah. She's just been knocking them out. She'd been knocking him out, but more spread out.

Yeah. Let's see. How old does she know? But honestly, what I was saying is that if she doesn't have hard pregnancies, like, if you didn't have hard pregnancies, I'd be like, what's one more? Let's face it. She's 35 now. She started when she was 22.

So she's been having babies for 13 years. Did I do that math right? I don't know. My brain. It was good, right? Okay, 13 years she's been having babies. I've been having babies for four years. I couldn't live in.

13 years of this? Could you imagine? I know, but I do think that. How would we survive? They haven't got to move to a farm. No, truly. That's what got her to the farm. That's what got her to the farm.

You're close. I'm I understand you're close I mean last night Danny said I think I need to get a horse and I was like wow the evolution is almost complete she's she's entering stage four stage four of your master plan it's not like you've been micro dosing me with like these little like yeah no it's it's really not my master plan I feel like it is God's plan that I have just accepted sooner than you I'm going to be honest like we're going to get to national I'm like We're like, we're going to live on an acre and I'm like, I hate this place. It's so crowded. I really genuinely believe so. I genuinely believe so. It's possible. I think once you get that horse and you stare into that horse's eyes, you're going to say,

listen, I don't want any more babies, but I want 16 horses. What do they call aquine therapy? Equine therapy? Equine therapy. Yeah. Yeah. No, maybe that's what you're, what if you're, what if you go onto your call on Thursday with your, what are you called?

Psychiatrist. And she's like, listen, I recommend horses for you. Yeah, she's like, then I'll be like, God, all right. I'm in. I'm your next horse girl. Use me for thy will. When I went to on site, they do equine therapy, which I don't get. Like, what's so special about horses?

That's what we're about to find out. Like, why wouldn't you just do like golden retriever therapy? Because apparently the horses like can sense you, like they know you. No way. Yeah, they like can sense when you're a certain way. I don't know if it's true or not. No, that makes sense because I can sense you. You're not a horse.

No, but like that's what I'm saying is like, right. And you don't want me to sense you, but a horse you're like, okay, it's okay if you sense my energy. And like I do feel like some dogs are smart enough to sense you. Yeah, yeah. But like a horse, like think about such a big animal sensing you. Yeah. It's a lot of animal. Yeah.

Like it's like this whole big beast is like, I know that you're sad. And you're like, wow. biggest i really do feel like we're about to enter into a curveball stage of our lives where it's like we're at that chapter of our lives where we thought it was going to go this one way and it's about to just take a total left turn and if the left turn is you end up getting a horse and then you write some crazy memoir about this horse that healed you oh yeah that would be the best totally that would be so good so good and then i have a horse farm yeah and then i just raise horses Yeah. I'm not a mother to many children. I'm a mother to many horses. No, truly. I would like to have a pony too.

Yeah, like a little one. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. That's great. I mean, it's possible. Really, at this point, we are so broken down. So broken. We're like, like, any, any, any, any dream or any, like, idea that we had for our lives with four children is just gone. It's like. Poof. It's like, poof. It's like, God has deconstructed us to a level where it's like any plan that we have, he's like, ha. Ha. He's like, I'm going to put you in a state of just pure survival and then I shall rebuild this. You said this place was steps from the water. We just haven't found the steps yet.

How much did we save? Enough. Enough to get lost. Or you could book a stay with Hilton. Welcome to your ocean front room. Just steps. from the water. The Hilton sale is on now.

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but right now it feels like survival of the fittest. Yeah, you know. We're blessed, though. So blessed. Our kids are beautiful babies. Beautiful, beautiful sweet smart babies. They just suck the living life out of us. I mean, it's talking about sucking a living life out of you, this guy.

That's really. I mean, my nipples are not okay. Not that we need to talk about that. We can, though. We can. It is our podcast. We could talk about it everyone. I am still press feeding.

I have made it five weeks. I was like for this baby I was like I'm going to do it a year like that's fine I can happen um so I was really really hoping to breastfeed this baby actually solely just like latch him and not even do any of the pumping that was hard that's hard um so I am kind of like mixing with pumping with latching and but he's been he's been great I think he likes the boob better than a bottle you 100% likes a bit better. Yeah. Because when I like hold him, like you hold him when you're breastfeeding and I put the bottle like right here, he's like great. He like thinks he's breastfeeding. With spring here and somewhere around the corner, we've started thinking about travel plans

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forward slash Danny with promo code Danny. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Oh, I will say this is definitely our gaseous baby. Yeah. For sure. He toots all day long.

And like, loud. Yeah. Yeah, he's a gassy baby. But, no, but breastfeeding has been going well. Question for you. I think that this happens. We were kind of like in a echo chamber cave. I think your birth went pretty viral. The reason I know that because people were like texting me about this birth. And I was like, what do you mean? We filmed every birth. But this one went like really, really. It really popped off. I know. I know. Well, you know. I think you got the TikTok talk. Talking heads too.

See, that's when you know you got viral. You know, I've never gone viral before, I don't think. No. No. I've been doing this, like, online stuff for like 13, 14 years and I've never gone viral. This was my first moment. Right? The only times I ever go viral is when I get canceled.

Yeah, pretty much. And so, like, this was the first time I went viral for not being canceled. Which you were like, you weren't really canceled this time. It was like kind of a lot of self-righteous people, right? No, I wasn't. I wasn't saying I was canceled. No, it was just like, so the crazy thing about this birth. Okay.

So I guess people just handle pain differently. I personally scream when I'm in pain. Yeah, yeah. Or I say, I'm like, ow, this hurts. I guess some people like internalize their pain. But that doesn't mean that one is more painful than the other. It's just everybody kind of deals it differently. So were people mad at you for the way that you communicated your pain?

I don't know, but here's the point. the funniest thing is we cut out all the bad parts yeah we thought that was pretty damn the funniest part about the video that I posted is like when we posted it I sent it to like the two girls of my team I always sent every video to and they were like cut these three or four parts out because they're too it's too much so we did and then we posted it and people are like this is too much and I'm like oh you think this is too much you should have seen what really happened but no one will ever know um yeah so it it went pretty viral I think like on TikTok has like over 30 million views like on Instagram almost 30 million I don't know um and I wasn't

expecting that because I did I've always shared basically everything in my life and I didn't really think this was like that crazy but um but apparently it was apparently most women in the world just quietly give birth in a bathtub and don't say a word and just breathe and then the baby just pops out magically. So where the talking heads, I'm just trying to understand because I don't, I didn't really go down the rabbit hole.

I didn't care. But the argument was that you were dissuading women from having an unmedicated birth through your pain videos and it was irresponsible. I guess. I guess it was like, so there was a trend that like kind of popped off after my video. And it was like,

if you saw Danny's unmedicated birth, here's me at 10 centimeters pushing my baby out. And then it was like a piece, it was like a video of a peaceful mom and a bathtub being like, like, you know. Were the comments like, thank you. I didn't read like. Thank you for being responsible. Yeah, but I think that everybody's like, yeah, it's a beautiful experience. Like, yes, it's like.

And like, I mean, I guess it is, but it still hurts. Yeah. I don't know. And I'm also like you're, the only people that are going to post that are people that had peaceful births. Like if you had a crazy. birth, then you're not going to post that trend or that video. Right, right. Unless you're like me.

And so some people think, you know, some people also think that maybe it's TMI. Like maybe Danny shares too much about our life. First of all, you might be right. Okay. I'm not going to lie. Maybe you're right. But you have to understand. Like, I was raised on these streets of the internet.

Like I started doing this when I was 19. I don't know a different way of life. and I don't really get embarrassed about sharing stuff. Like, I don't really feel like it's too much. The only thing that I ever would feel convicted about sharing it too much is if it, like, directly affects, like, people with my family or my friends, you know, but this was just about me. Yeah.

Well, the head, just to be clear, the people headline was, I was so shocked to hear this. What did the headline say? It was about me. It was like, oh, but that was about naming the baby. They almost named the baby different because husband thinks name is weird. And I was like, whoa, first of all, what? did I do? Like, I, yes, I was the father, but come on. Like, right about Danny. Yeah. Well, yeah, we'll get to that in a second. But, um, yeah, what was I saying? This is what happens all day.

My brain, babe. Um, it's so bad. You were talking about the TikTokers. You were talking about I don't really know. I was talking about, um, unmedicated births. Yeah. Oh, I don't really know what I was saying. But go, I'm telling you the postpartum like brain frog is so bad. But yeah, I think that a lot of people were like, man, this is going to scare a lot of people from giving an unmedicated or doing an unmedicated birth because she, it looks too scary. And so when people were like posting what their birth looks like, I'm like, great. Like we all can post what our births look like. And like, you know, it's like, it's a weird thing to be combative over. It's great. Like, let's just all, you can all share and inspire people in different ways. Mine was like, this was my reality and that was your reality. And that's okay, you know.

I'm so happy that we had different experiences and we can all come together and share it. Yeah, that's great. But yeah, oh, I was talking about if I share too much online. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Honestly, not anymore. No, I probably do. But like. Really?

Like what? I don't know. I mean, I'm always like, because we're experiencing new things in life, like our kids getting older or maybe moving or schools or lessons, you know, sports, whatever, I, those are all new experiences in my life that, like, I've never posted about those things before. So I'm like learning what to share, what not to share. It's always going to be evolving and changing even when I'm a grandma one day. But I also just think it's really special, like for some, I don't think that everybody needs to be like sharing everything and being totally vulnerable, vulnerable about everything in their lives. But it's like if you are like strong enough to share some of the crazy things and you know that like the outside feedback isn't going to like hurt you, hurt your feelings or change your mind about something, then I actually think it's like really cool. when people post like vulnerable moments you know yeah like I actually think it can help a lot of people out and like they can look at it and be like wow like I'm not crazy like she experienced that too and maybe it makes people feel like I don't know a little bit better so it's like you know I'm not saying everybody has to do that but and I'm not saying you have to do that for every single part of your life but if there's something that you want to share

that's just a little bit more real than the other it's like I don't think that it's a bad thing yeah I don't either. Keep sharing. Keep it going. I don't know. But yeah, so I had a baby and he was seven pounds, 13 ounces. He really hurt when he came out. He hurt me bad. But you didn't tear. I didn't tear. Yeah, so I actually had a really good like physical postpartum recovery. We didn't fight. We didn't fight. Tell them why. Because I filmed everything. No. No. No. I thought it was the shot list. I did have a shot list. I was like,

this is what we're going. I think I thought I did my job. Yeah. We also like filmed so much content in the hospital that like when I got home, I didn't pose or film anything for like three weeks. Wait, why else did we fight? Because you tell them what you learn. To listen.

No. You even said it this morning. I texted you a video this morning and what did you say? Oh, yeah. You said, I don't take anything. thing you say seriously anymore. Yeah, no, I really don't. I used to take things like, so serious, so personally. Like she would be like, I'm just really frustrated with you. And I used to be like, he used to be like, Danny, here's the 49 things I've been doing for you this week. You know,

and I'd be like, it's not about the 49 good things. It's about this one thing that hurts my feelings. And then you'd be like, but you don't see all the good. Yeah, it would be like, like, here's how I'd say it is like, you know, probably three times a day. Danny changes her mind. about me like oh no I don't no no like what I mean by that is like like oh it's so sweet that you're doing this and then the next minute it'll be like can you please like not do this and then it's like thank you so much for me like I'm like mean to you all day long no I don't think you're mean to me I don't say it like that no no okay I'll give an example I'm like he's such a good dad he like wakes up early gets the kids ready for bed I come downstairs y'all he uses the

bottle cleaner like the sponge that is meant for for bottles to clean off a plate of hot sauce. Okay. And then just leaves it all red like hot sauce. Okay. So I'm like, so then he walks by. It's not clearly labeled that that is a bottle cleaner. And it looks exactly.

It's literally a stick with a sponge at the end. And you've had four babies. You know what a bottle cleaner is. Do not get outside me right now. No, I'm not. I just genuinely didn't know. No, yes, you didn't. Dave.

Come on. No, I really did. Okay. Here's the other thing is you always think I'm doing things to just, just to pick a fight. No, I don't think you were doing it to pick a fight. I just think you weren't thinking. So then he walks by and I go, really?

The bottle cleaner. And so that's the stuff that happens. I've been doing a little spring reset lately and not just around the house, but also with my closet. The older I seem to get, I try to focus more on quality over quantity. Just buying pieces that are versatile, really well made, and things I actually get excited to wear on a random Tuesday. That's honestly why I keep coming back to Quince.

They make beautiful everyday pieces using premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton, and super soft denim. And a lot of their styles start around $50, which honestly surprised me the first time I ordered. Their spring pieces are lightweight, breathable, and effortless. The kind of outfits where you throw it on and instantly feel put together without trying too hard. I also recently looked at some of their accessories and their leather bags are made from 100% hand-moven Italian leather and truly look like something you would spend way more on. and something I really respect about the brand is they work directly with ethical factories

and cut out the middlemen so you're paying for quality materials instead of brand markup. Personally, I've been eyeing their linen tops for a summer staple. The fabric feels substantial but also easy to wear. And the price genuinely makes me double check my cart every time. Refresh your spring wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com slash Janie for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. go to Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Danny for free shipping and 365-day returns.

Quince.com slash Danny. Okay, I feel like everyone has that one candy they're obsessed with growing up. Like the one you hoped you'd get in your Halloween bucket or the one you'd trade everything else for at school. I was definitely that kid. That's why Unreal is such a fun brand to me because they're basically taking those nostalgic chocolate favorites and reinventing them with simple ingredients and way less sugar. So you still get that really satisfying chocolate fix, but without all the artificial stuff.

Some of their bestsellers are their dark chocolate coconut bars, so good, their dark chocolate peanut butter cups and their dark chocolate caramel peanut nugget bars. And I will say, if you keep these in your pantry, they tend to disappear quickly. What I also love is everything that they make is fair trade certified, gluten-free, non-GMO, and kosher.

They don't use artificial preservatives, flavors, or colors, and most of their products are even vegan. I like having these around for a little afternoon snack or honestly, sometimes a little end-of-the-day treat because they satisfy that sweet tooth without feeling over-the-tops sugary. You can also find Unreal products anywhere cravings hit, including at Whole Foods, Target, Costco, and other grocery stores. As a special offer to our listeners, visit Unreal Snacks.com slash Danny to get $2 off a bag of Unreal.

Terms and conditions apply. R-C-H.com and intercode Danny to set yourself up for better financial success. One of the coolest parts about building our businesses over the years has been realizing how possible it actually is to turn an idea into something real. And for us, Shopify has been a huge part of that. Shopify is basically the platform we use to run Divi. It's where you can build, grow, and manage a business without needing to be some tech expert. And as someone who likes systems and efficiency, I appreciate how it simplifies things. What I like, but it's not my identity, Danny.

What I like most is that Shopify lets you actually own your business. Your store, your customers, your data, it's yours. You're not just building on borrowed land. And from a practical standpoint, things like shop pay, that purple button at checkout make a big difference. Faster checkout means fewer abandoned carts, which as a business owner, you definitely care about. They also have tools like Sidekick, which is basically an AI co-founder helping with things like analytics, sales trends, and optimization, which lets us spend more time focusing on growth instead of back-end headaches. Whether someone wants to start a side hustle or build a full business, Shopify really removes a lot of the friction that you use. to exist. Build your store, own your audience, and create something that last. Start now at

Shopify.com slash Danny. What do you feel is different about this baby? I don't know. Wow, Danny. Great question. Let me answer that one head on. Like the baby itself? I don't know. Yeah, you don't have a plan for this question. I didn't. I can tell. Maybe you take my thought and then ask me a question. I think what you're saying is like what is different about our lives. after having four instead of three. Oh, maybe that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, oh, did you hear the toots?

Yeah, I just think that there's no, um, like, oh, I, I know. Yeah, what's different? Do you remember, like, how with Stella and Stratton, like, do you remember how strict of a schedule we were with like sleeping, eating? Mm-hmm. Like, we, like, every, we calculated every single little thing. Yeah. Like, their weight or what, we don't do that anymore.

You can't. I know. I mean, we're pretty good at like the broad schedule. Like, oh, he looks healthy. Like the broad schedule of like, you know, the kids get up at this time. They go to bed at this time. But if one of them misses a nap or is like late on a nap, we don't even know. We're like, oh, you're tired?

I'm so sorry. Yeah, I'm so sorry. He's like, we forgot you were here. Like the other two don't nap anymore. So can you not hang? Like, why don't you take a walk around the board? walk. No, I think that you, but all, okay, here's what I think is the biggest difference.

Babe, we are, there is nothing that can hit us in life that will stress us out. I don't like tornadoes. It's just, yeah. Your mother? Oh. No, no, a real tornado. Both. Both.

Both tornadoes. No, but I would say, truly, like the, the level outside of your anxiety, which is a whole separate issue, I just don't think I'm stressed about anything. Like I could be holding a baby, taking a call, brushing Stella's teeth, and sending an email all at the same time. And I used to be, remember how rigid I was? Yeah. And you get so I would be so frazzled because I'm like, I'm like doing this. And now I'm just like, okay, like whatever. Like I feel like if a 23 year old walked into our house and saw just what our day-to-day lives looked like, they'd be like, I will never have this. You know why? Because we live

in Dulu, and, yeah, we're like on a different planet. We're on a different planet. And that's probably why people with more children are happier because we were more stressed out with one or two children. We really were. Yeah. We really were. And now you just feel so out of, I think when you have one or two kids, you still feel in control. Like you still feel like you can control the situation. You can get them into the right school. You can get them into like the right classes. When you have four, it's so out of your control that you kind of just release and you're just like. So who's really living in delusion is the real question. Is the person who believes that they're in control and can perfectly architect their kids' lives to do X, Y, Z and perfectly plot their future and it just goes perfectly to plan. Is that

delusion or is our complete surrender and being just broken down to the studs delusion? I guess we'll never know. No, we will know. Oh. Well, I think, I don't know how to compare them, I guess. I don't know. I think we're going to be happier. Yeah. Without the control. Without the, yeah. Because I think that's, I mean, that's the whole thing is relinquishing control and just knowing it's not up to you.

That's too much pressure to put on somebody. Yeah. No. And I mean, I feel like this is a very like, this, your question was like, how did the fourth, like change our lives pretty much? Yeah. Yeah. That's what I was asking.

It's like, I feel like with the third, at least for me, I felt like with just three, I still had elements that I was in control. Like I was like, oh, I can still have three kids and I can still be this person I want to be and I can still do this and I can still do this. And now I'm kind of like, God, I have no idea. Yeah. Like whatever you want. Because like I can't do it all. Because these babies are raising themselves in the streets. No. I think that we are raising them. And so everything else has to flow down from God's will. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And I feel like that has become very apparent with. four, at least from me versus three. Yeah. And it's kind of like I feel like what we're feeling in life right now is that it's completely reshaped our priorities and like our dreams and our goals because I think you and I are both on the same page that no matter what the number one thing has to be like not missing moments with them. Yeah. Because you don't get a do over. But I totally get like the the quintessential like working professional individual.

who's like, I can just work and I can keep working and I can keep being successful because like, like I'm providing or I'm doing this. And you can just get caught in this hamster wheel and you just completely miss all the best moments. Yeah. It's so easy. I honestly think with three I would have done that. Really? Really. Not full tilt. Like I don't think I would have been like an absentee dad, but I think I would have missed more of the moments with three than I would. Yeah, you've been very present, very present father no i and i wasn't like that with just one yeah it's kind of like hey stella your your mom yeah got you yeah even jordan implemented the star system she would tell about oh yeah skylight calendar this is actually not a brand deal no it's not a brand deal skylight calendar

it's a calendar system for like it has your calendar your meals etc and it you can get a big frame it's like a digital screen and you can get one that's like the size of like a laptop screen or you can get one that's like a giant wall. And it's really good for kids with or for families with like multiple kids because their schedules get really complicated. So you can pull up the calendar and everyone can or if you have like a nanny or something like everyone can be on the same page of like what the day is going to look like for the kids and the individuals. You can put like what's for dinner on there. But the best feature that they have is when since we have four, I was like, okay, I really need our big kids to start like stepping up. Like we can't be like the police.

Yeah, we can't be police for like, Stella, put your shoes on, do this. So I literally implemented this calendar and they have what's called like the star system. So you can build out their task lists. And so like, for example, for our young kids, I was like, Stella's Stratton. If y'all make your bed, if you get yourself dressed, if you brush your teeth in the morning, if you clean up each one is a star. And then I give them, I ask them like what they want because they were also every time we'd go to the store, they would ask for something. They also, yeah, they were always wanting toys. And then we never knew like the right time to buy the toy or the right time to say, no, save up your money, quote unquote, save up your money, but they're not earning any money.

Like we just didn't know the right amount of toys to give a child without making them spoiled or like not being a cool parent, you know. Yeah. So like now, for example, if we go to the store and they're like, oh, I want this Lego set. I'm like, well, do you have enough stars? And they're like, I'll check for you. Oh, how do you convert the stars to money? I make it up. I know, I thought so.

I totally make it up. Okay, yeah. It's like if something costs like $25, he'll be like... I'm like, that's like 30 stars. Yeah. It's almost like a one-to-one ratio. Because if they have a perfect day where they do all of their chores and they obey everything, then they typically get, I think that they can get up to like 10 stars a day.

And the greatest thing is like now instead of having to like yell or punish them, like stradden this morning was like laying on the floor. They needed to leave and get in the car. And I was like, okay, get up. and he like we have to leave and he wouldn't get up and I said okay I'm going to count to three and like if not I'm going to take away a star and so he didn't he laid there so we took away a star. So now it's also like the discipline system. Yeah.

And honestly it's worse than a spanking. Oh yeah. The getting away a star taken away because then he's like I am so far away. First of all I do not give spake. No, we don't we don't spank. But like but so I implemented this system and guys I'm telling you it's the craziest thing. They brush their teeth on their own now. Yeah.

They get dressed in the morning. by themselves now they when your kids get older they drop the naps and so we were like oh my gosh like with with two small babies we're basically we're doing 2002 again i was like i i couldn't get them to like have a quiet time because like midday we need a break yeah we need like just a break in terms of quiet and now they like know it's quiet time they get a star for it they go into the rooms they actually asked me this past weekend if they could have a longer quiet time how long is quiet time again. I usually do like 30 minutes, but like I think I can probably push it up to an hour. And they just like, Stella was coloring in her room. Straten puts all his teddy bears to sleep and sleep sacks. That's his thing. And it's like the best behavior guiding thing I've ever done. It's the best. Tochay, babe, killed it. It's the best. Everyone and it's funny because they reached out to us, Skylight. I know. They have a lot. We need to work with them.

And they reached out to us a long time ago. I don't even know if they know that that's one of the best features. No, they knew. They knew. But like they, we weren't really great to work with them because we, at the time, we only had like two kids and they were like infants. Yeah. It's really good when all of our kids are going to be in sports. It's a top notch product.

Highly endorse. Wow. Love. Love. Okay. We're back. We're back. We're back.

Back in beautiful. And then there's me. Babe, stop it. It's okay. We're going to go run. We are going to start run flogging together. Guys, she's a good runner, though. She was born with a genetically more advanced V-O-2 max than I am.

Yeah, and I also have that gene. The athlete gene. The athlete gene. I for sure don't. Stella has my gene, too. Yeah. It's okay. You're smart.

What would you trade? I don't know. I don't know. Well, this has been really pleasant. Did you stop it? No, I did. Oh, I said this has been really pleasant. Okay, bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products. or services referred to in this episode.