Dear Chelsea - A Free Love Queen with Hannah Einbinder

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Emmy Nominee Hannah Einbinder joins Chelsea to talk about the trouble with being perceived, why Chelsea is Hannah’s own personal Deborah Vance, and suffering from altitudinism.  Then: A hypnotherapist suggests a quick ketamine fix.  A throuple goes astray when one member loses his libido.  And a late-night tryst causes drama in a friend group.     * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi. Hi, Chelsea. How are you? Oh, well, I'm fresh off a colonoscopy. I did the prep. I've rescheduled this thing five times in my life because I did not want anyone going inside my asshole. This isn't your first one. This is my first colonoscopy. No way. Yeah, because I tried to outsmart them and they gave me another option.

I had to give a stool sample once, which is humiliating in its own right. I mean, that is so embarrassing, shitting into a basket or a bucket. They gave me a container that you would put French fries in and were like, take a shadoobie in this. I'm like, oh my God god you're making me sick so sick and then they write on the instructions like if you find any worms i'm like what if i find any worms i'm going to the hospital i'm not fucking sampling it out and then put it so gross i'm so sorry to start the podcast like this but this is what my life has been like so i did the prep and i didn't like i wanted to avoid that fluid gross liquid did you do one yeah i just wanted to make sure everything was fine

because a relative had had some polyps so i was like let's just get it checked out i was clean as a whistle but my prep was just like they were like add mirror it was a mirror lax anyway whatever added one of those right to your gatorade so it was was just Gatorade. That's all it tasted like it was great. Oh, okay. I mean, it was fine. Yeah, that's not bad. No, I took pills. So the schedule was very annoying. You eat a late breakfast, and then you don't drink anything except clear liquids, or actually don't have to be clear. You can have like, you know, Gatorade, or lemonade, which is what I drink. And I took the pills from five to six, you take like 12 pills every five minutes, you take a pill. And then from 1am, then I set my alarm from 1am to you take like 12 pills every 5 minutes you take a pill and then from 1am then I set my alarm from 1am to 2am I

had to take the other set of pills and then I just started urinating out of my ass I was like okay great great great and then I went in at 5.30 in the morning I got there of course an hour early because I couldn't have been sleeping during that time I have to fucking get everywhere early like an asshole they weren't even open when I got there I was like

knocking on the door I'm like like, oh, I'm here. They're like, no one else. The doctor's not here. No one's here. Anyway, it wasn't the prep that was bad. It was the aftermath. Because then I had a green smoothie and I had a little bit of an accident. So yeah, I mean, I am glad that is over.

I am glad. But my asshole is ready for the weekend. Oh, fantastic. I have a whole clean shoot happening. Fantastic. Oh, fantastic. You're going to party. I have a whole clean shoot happening. Fantastic. Well, that leads us to our guest today. Oh, yes.

Hannah Einbinder. Oh, my gosh. Hannah is here. She received an Emmy nomination for her role on Hacks. Her new one-hour special is on Max also. In addition to Hacks being on Max, this is not a poem. It's called Everything Must Go. Right? Yep. Okay. Yeah.

Please welcome Hannah Einbinder. Okay, we're here with my darling friend, Hannah Einbinder. It's so nice to see you in the flesh. I know it's been since the last tour, I think. I know. Hannah and I toured together. She opened for me for a series of dates. That's right. And we had some good stories. You have never been on this podcast before, right? I don't think so. Because remember when we were in where were we? Denver. It was Denver. Oh, when I got altitude sickness. She got altitudinism. She suffered from altitudinism, which I call Judaism. That's right. But that's right. She we were in Denver, which obviously is not at sea level. There's an altitude there. And right before we, I think we had two shows in one night, right?

I did the first show. Oh, you did. Okay. I did the first show. I'm so long winded on stage. Like I am really packing every amount of words you can into every sentence. And so even on, even at sea level, I have trouble catching my breath when I'm speaking. Yes. So it was like training with like fucking crazy ankle. I could

not catch my breath, breathe. And she came off stage and she was winded and she looked pallid. Weak. She looked weak. And so we had to get her an oxygen tank. That's right. Backstage, which happens to a lot of people, actually. They had it ready. And then we had to get her an oxygen tank that's right oxygen backstage which it happens to a lot of people actually they had it ready and then we had to call around denver to go and find an opener for me because she couldn't get back up she had to lay down lie down lay down after i give so much so much shit to people about it anyway she recovered thankfully that's right but i had seen her special before her special came out, which is called Everything Must Go. So I was exposed to Hannah before a lot of people were exposed to you. So I consider that a Jewish blessing.

That's right. And I consider you a hipster for that. Way before it was cool. Yeah. Exactly. And then right after we started or sometime after, you were on Hacks. You got that show. Yeah. And then everyone started to find out, you started, you were on Hacks. You started, you got that show. Yeah.

And then everyone started to find out who you were. That's right. And I want to talk about that because I know you had a little trouble adjusting to the attention that you were getting from the show and then becoming like a public figure. And you were so passionate about stand-up. And I felt initially, and tell me if I'm wrong or right, that you had some reservations about being so public facing all of a sudden. All of a sudden. Oh, my God.

It's because of my hip. You're going to start saying anyways. My hip, anyways. Yeah, I think that's right. I think if you're in your head as is, you have to calm yourself down being like, no one's worried about you. No one's thinking about you. No one's looking at you. Relax. And it's like, well, that's about you. No one's thinking about you. No one's looking at you. Relax.

And it's like, well, that's kind of not really totally true anymore, is it? It's like kind of your anxious fears come to life a little bit. Look, I ain't complaining. It's a product of the greatest fortune a person can have in our business. But yeah, I don't think it's natural at all. Right. And what did you find bothersome? The attention or when you heard negative attention

was there a certain aspect that was more troubling than another just being perceived I think like in a massive way I feel lucky that mostly it's positive folks who like the show come up and they're very sweet like I mean it's a very positive show yeah like I really got about as lucky as you can I think but but yeah I think just kind of being having sort of like too much awareness of myself and maybe like instead of seeing myself this way like seeing myself this way and kind of having an outside sort of Truman show-esque view of my own kind of seeing yourself for our listeners who probably aren't watching this we just made a gesticulation about being you're basically of seeing yourself for our listeners who probably aren't watching this we just made a

gesticulation about being you're basically saying seeing yourself through the lens of other people right yeah a little bit which is strange I think especially for an artist who needs to kind of like curb that in order to maintain like a pure perspective I think you know yeah so how did you deal with it I think I'm still dealing I. But I'm a very like insular person. I kind of like have very few close friends that I see all the time. And so I just kind of like keep my world small. And a lot of my lovely people in my life keep me very grounded and tethered. And, you know, they're keeping me on it.

So, yeah, I do what I can, you know. And yeah, I'm just thinking about myself when I was your age and like how I dealt with that stuff. And I think I probably have like the opposite personality that you do, you know, like anxiety. I don't think I think I've experienced anxiety until I was in my forties. Like I didn't even know what people were talking about. I wanted to be empathetic, but I didn't really understand what it meant. And what I've learned is that encapsulates so many things that everybody feels on a daily basis. So when you say or when I would say, I don't think I suffer from anxiety, it's just that I didn't understand what half of the things I was feeling were anxiety.

Right. Because I didn't really I thought anxious is like, you know, when you it almost is so stifling that you're not able to do anything. Right. That you're not able to push through it and you're not able that it becomes you become hamstrung what do you feel were things that you thought were just like energy inside of you that you now know are anxiety like various like like nerves like being nervous and being anxious like knowing a date is coming up and a date to do something or you know like that you have to be somewhere like having anxiety having nerves about it but I always understood it or framed it in my own way that that was what happens like you you're gonna have nerves what who would who wouldn't have nerves yeah if you have a big show coming up or you're gonna be on tv you're gonna be live like I had so much nervous energy

and that qualifies as anxiety, but I didn't think of it that way at that time. What do you feel like when you said like in your 40s, when you kind of were like, oh, like I'm locking into this, what do you attribute that to? Like that awareness? Therapy. Okay. Therapy. And then realizing and having self-awareness. Yeah. So like being able to understand how other people are seeing me, whereas before that never crossed my mind. I love it. It never bothered me at all. Like any negative feedback I was fine with,

I'm like, that's okay. Like who cares? What is this, a popularity contest? Like I'm already successful. I don't care if you don't like me. Like enough people do. You know, like I had that kind of bullish attitude about it, which worked for me for a long time

until it stopped working. Yeah, totally. But you're much more quieter and I would say more delicate. Certainly. Yes. You're a little delicate flower. A daisy, if you will. That's right.

Tell me about your relationship with Jean. Oh, I love her. She's fab. Well, what's not to love about Jean Smart? She's awesome. Yeah. She and I really like, I think, I think you know people go like how has your relationship evolved over the course of the show and to me like it it has deepened certainly of

course but like the thing that is inherent to our dynamic is that it was an instant sort of electric connection I feel like when we first auditioned together, like I felt that energy from her. And so like, it's awesome. Like we send each other memes back and forth. Like she's very silly and like just really nurturing. And like, we joke about this all the time about like, you're my own personal Debra Vance in real life. But like, I feel that from both of you actually, where like, you have always been so like supportive of me and, and in a way that is not always the case. Like, I think, I think women have historically been pitted against each other and made to feel like there's only room for one and like we should be competitive.

And I have never felt anything other than support and like nurturing from like both Jean and you. And I feel like, I don't know, I feel like she is one of several women in my life professionally who just have like only ever loved and championed me. And it's, it's really nice. Well, she's old school. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's true. I mean, obviously what you're saying about women is true. I definitely experienced that in my career with like a zero sum game almost where there's not room for everyone. And you're like, wait, what are you talking about? There's room for everyone. The tide rises. Everyone rises with the tide, you know, unless you can't fucking swim. But I think because it's such a nice lesson for you at this stage in your career also of how you want to treat other people by being treated in a certain way, right? You know,

and being in such a lucky situation, like you're on the show right now and you don't know what your next show is going to be or your next movie or whatever, you know, and you don't know how fortunate you are sometimes until those situations are gone. So you have to really lap it up because you'll hear about these wonderful stories, you know, people on the set of Friends, look at all of them and how great of a time they had for so many years. And then they go on to different sets. And there's different dynamics. And you're like, oh, wait, that was really and to have that at the front of your career can be a hard comparison. Yes. Right. As you move forward. I think about that a lot, you know, just like in, you know, it's very rare that the quality of the work and the

quality of the people line up across the board like there really is no bad egg in the bunch on hacks it would be obviously the the thrill of a lifetime to like continue to to have those like quality you know relationships on a quality show where you're making something you're proud of but I am starting to kind of face the reality that maybe that's going to be hard to yeah maintain but it's my hope I mean I hope I feel like a kind of a conflict averse person I feel like growing up in LA I feel like you grow up alongside a lot of interesting personalities and so you kind of figure out how to navigate that and like I definitely feel, like I'm good with people. And so it's my hope that even the craziest people I come across, I'll be able to like maybe handle. But yeah, I have really no, no experience with

that just yet. So we'll see. I'll talk to you after that happens, I guess. Well, you've also been very therapized. And's right. And I say that in a good way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I mean, that's one good thing about growing up in LA is that you have to go to therapy. It's so cool. Since 15. Which is amazing. What's your therapy situation now?

Is it a new therapist? Have you kept one for a long period of time? I'm with my same therapist. Since you were 15? Since I was 15. Wow, wow. Yeah, which, and there are obviously, you know, conflicting opinions on whether that's good or not. But I feel like she is so, such a wonderful witness to like absolutely everything.

And so she can really analyze what is needed and like understands the greater context. And she challenges me, which is what brought me here today, I think, you know, just to where I'm at. Her challenging me has always been a source of art dynamic and I welcome it. I'm really like interested in that. And who else do you find in your life that challenges you? I think my friends.

I think like my core group of girlfriends. Like I have a friend from high school, a friend from college and like several friends from after like from the comedy scene who like just have known me since before my life shifted. And I am always seeking honest feedback. And I feel like I can tell even if they don't want to like say anything on their face, like if they're not really like down with some shit I'm doing or saying or like don't approve of some decision, you know what I mean? Like I do seek that out. Yeah. I mean, it's very difficult to have honest relationships with people in this industry. I mean, you can think of like five people who are in the media right now nonstop and it's like clearly no one's telling them the truth because you wouldn't be so out and open like you know you need people to tell you and it's very difficult because like even when I think oh I think about all the people in my life that'll be honest with me and it's like yeah if you really press them to be yeah yeah I have to be like no

you have to fucking tell me the truth yeah because most people don't want their conflict averse too yeah yeah well there was a storyline about that in hacks this season with the yellow dress where it's like everybody wants to be the s man yeah that's right that's right and that's i mean i think that's why like those two women bond because it's the first person that has ever told deborah what she actually thinks you know yeah that's such an interesting dynamic so when you put out your special everything must go which came out a few months ago, how did that feel? Because that was your first stand-up special showing people your style of comedy. Yeah. And I've heard you describe it as filmic.

Yeah. Yeah, which is such an incredible currency to have. Acting gave me the time to really fine tune my standup, which was, you know, my only aspiration when I started performing. Like I didn't think of a world beyond standup. Like that's really what I wanted to do completely and so having the time to like really fine-tune and perfect it by the time we put it out I was so I felt so ready and proud of it and so clear on what I wanted it to be and it's certainly vulnerable but I feel like just everything that I have all of the feedback that I have gotten over the years gave me the confidence to be like, I'm proud of this.

And I know that it will confuse some people and it's not going to be for some people. But I'm cool with it being very much for the people that it is for. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, she has a very great commitment to letting a joke move slowly which i love i have a lot of respect for that because you know any if you're a comedian you're trying to get to a punch line and some people cannot handle not making an audience laugh for more than 30 seconds you know the quiet is just like nerve-wracking to people i've watched it

i've lived it yeah um but yeah it was great watching that when you were working on it before your special to see that her commitment to that but like the more audiences gave me credit the more I was just like you know what I'm gonna pause even longer and like it's that thing of like you know where it's like it's funny and then it stops being funny and then it gets funny again because it's like you can't understand how it's continuing to go on like I'm actually like really comfortable in that and and yeah it's fun to cultivate like a style unbeknownst to yourself to just kind of happen upon it and go oh this is interesting well i think it mimics your personality a lot too yeah you're quiet but you have lots to say but you're not loud yeah and you're not in anyone's face so i think it's a perfect compliment

to who you are as a person thank you which is Which is what you want your stand up to be because it's your POV. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like when I got into stand up, like I was trying to present this aspirational version of like who I wanted to be like this very confident, cool, collected person. And I feel like I grew into that through doing it. And obviously the of course but like I really feel like now like the separation between like who I am on stage and who I am off stage while there is a massive theatrical sort of like lens over the whole thing and it is very much a performance style choice and I'm being silly or I'm doing characters whatever like it does feel closer to me whereas when I started I feel like it was just like what would the coolest version of me be? Like, what could I escape to, to feel like awesome? Yeah. I think there's, it's interesting to talk to different

standups because some standups, that's what their dream is. They just want to be on the stage. And some standups just want the recognition of being on the stage and they don't mind walking off stage, you know and then some there's like everybody has something different but when somebody really wants to be on stage and do stage time it's a different that's like a true comic like you know you want to like you you don't care what it leads to you just have to be on stage yeah i've never been someone who has to be on stage i like everything that goes with it writing like I like the writing I like the execution I like the refining and I like the feedback from the audience yeah and then you get to a place where you become so good at what you do

that it is like in your pocket you don't have to constantly think about how it's being perceived because you know that you're doing it well it is so interesting and cool to watch you work because you are one of the more prolific comedians. The tours that I've done with you, I've probably seen two or three different hours, like over the course of us working together, which is like so incredible. And like, it does speak to what you're saying of being like, I really do love writing. Like I watch you with your pages and pages and pages of typed notes of the act. Like it's like a fricking like document, you know, before and like, yeah, you're like, yeah, you're really in a process, you know?

And I consider myself a lazy performer. So it's funny to hear you say that because there is a lot of work that goes into it, but there's a difference between work that comes naturally and there's a different work that is not natural to you. And then it does feel like work yes but writing is such an easy you know avenue for me and I feel like a lot of comics feel that way but yeah you can see comics do the same act for like two years and you're like oh my god how can you still tell those jokes yeah but it is it's just a different style some people have to repeat it you know enough times to get it like I'm on tour right now and this is the longest tour I've done for a set and I've already moved on to new material I haven't taped my special yet I tape it in November but I'm like oh no okay now I have to start thinking about the next hour I already got

this done you know yeah and so I'm like oh wow the more you're on stage obviously the more you're writing the more comfortable you are the more confident you are in what you're doing like I don't have to try out bits anymore you know what I mean I know if something's gonna work oh my god jealous I'm so jealous I maybe one day it is it's so funny when like when she started that show and when she started hacks which we had Paul T Downs on a few months ago who was so fucking funny Paul W Downs Paul T Downs well I called i've renamed him paul w downs it was it was like life imitating art i'm like oh my god and she's like we we were flying on a private plane once and we sent the picture to her producers because they wrote i don't fly privately a lot anymore i just want to put that on the record because that's fucking

true yeah i've been very good about that but we were talking about like art imitating I'm like oh my god I think I am a version of Debra Vance yeah and then I was like wait no that's too that's too old for me and I was like no no wait I fucking like that yeah and now I'm doing a Vegas residency I'm not living in Vegas I will never live in Vegas what is what is the travel schedule I literally fly in and either fly back that night or spend the night with a group of friends and, you know, have a party out of it. Is it just weekends? It's like holiday. It's once a month for like the next two years. Fab. Yeah. Yeah. Once a month for the next two years. That's the kind of commitment I'm looking for. Exactly. Absolutely. Across the board. Absolutely. OK, on that note, we're going to take a break and we're going to come back and

we're going to take callers and we're going to give them advice. You're going to love it. Okay, great. It's so cute. Okay. This week, write in if you have questions about fitness. It could be something specific you're dealing with in your fitness routine, how to maintain your motivation or get started with a new routine or questions you have on a deeper level about your physical health and fitness. Write into dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt.

And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending,

or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon.

Listen to how to money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like... Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you

and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer and you never know who's going to drop by mr brian cranson is with us how are you hello my friend wayne knight about jurassic park wayne knight welcome to really no really sir bless you all hello newman and you never know when howie mandel might just stop by to talk about judging really that's the opening really no really yeah no really go to really no judging. Really? That's the opening? Really? No, really. Yeah, really. No, really. Go to reallynoreally.com.

And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really? No, Really? And you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, guys. I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. You know that rush of endorphins you feel after a great workout? Well, that's when the real magic happens.

So if you love hearing real, inspiring stories from the people you know, follow, and admire, join me every week for post run high it's where we take the conversation beyond the run and get into the heart of it all it's light-hearted pretty crazy and very fun listen to post run high on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hi i'm danny shapiro host of the hit podcast, Family Secrets. How would you feel if when you met your biological father for the first time, he didn't even say hello? And how would you feel if your doctor advised you to keep your life-altering medical procedure a secret from everyone? And what if your past itself was a secret and the time had suddenly come to share that past with your child? These are just a few of the powerful and profound questions we'll be asking on our 11th season of Family Secrets.

Some of you have been with us since season one and others are just tuning in. Whatever the case and wherever you are, thank you for being part of our Family Secrets family, where every week we explore the secrets that are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others, and the secrets we keep from ourselves. Listen to Season 11 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. We are back. With Hannah Einbinder. Hannah, we have some real special ones for you today. This one specifically, I was really excited to find for you. Okay.

Our first question comes from Sam. That's a lot of pressure you're putting on Hannah. Oh my God, shit. So Sam says, Dear Chelsea, Last year I connected with a therapist and she helped me make huge breakthroughs in several areas of my life through hypnotherapy. I was skeptical at first when I started, but after a few intense sessions where I spoke to dead relatives and saw pieces of my dreams unfold, I was sold. I took a break after a while as it's out of pocket and I'm in graduate school full time while already struggling to afford life after putting myself through two other degrees to get where I am today. Recently, I decided to leave a relationship and I reached back out to the therapist.

She suggested I do ketamine therapy with her, something she's found helps a lot of her clients get to the point they want to be faster. Although it's a lot of money up front as insurance does not reimburse most of it, she believes I will get the results in a shorter amount of time. In some ways, I'm totally for it, especially with ending this relationship. I feel myself reverting to old patterns and want to heal. I worry that it may be a lot of money to try something new and potentially risky. Should I go for it and hopefully finally heal from the parts of me holding me back, or should I play it safe and continue to spend money on therapy I already can't afford? Sam. And of course, Hannah, you talk about your therapist suggesting hypnotherapy. Have you ever done ketamine therapy? I have not. Yeah. I have never

done it either. So it's really hard for me to answer that question. I know that it can be really positive. I've also heard ketamine is tricky because like it is a therapy drug, but it's also used recreationally in a way that can be like dangerous and not good. So it's like that's when you shove it up your ass. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I mean, it has massive therapeutic benefits, but I mean, it depends if you have to do six sessions, I would say maybe stick with the therapy. Like I think that's I think therapy is a great tool. I think it's like a more consistent thing that you can keep track with. But I would say that also everyone wants to fast track their healing. Yeah. And everyone wants a

result. And you don't have to explain that to me. I'm the most impatient person in the world. So I understand how you want to kind of fast forward to the better results. But if it's something that's really not affordable to you in this moment, it's going to be available and it's only going to get better. Yeah, that's true. So I would be very consistent with your therapy because that yields the most concrete results overall for most people. Yeah. going, you have to have a conversation and dialogue with yourself, I think, to know that you're always moving in the right direction. Like every time you go to therapy, you're taking a step in the right direction. Even if it feels like you're taking two steps back, that's part of your therapy process is making progress and then falling back or screwing up and then making

progress again. And then actually, you know, the mistakes become fewer and your slip ups become fewer. But you have to look at it as like a grand net of what it's yielding. And that doesn't happen in six months or a year. You know what I mean? You make little changes along the way. And then all of a sudden things start to click. And then you're really making changes. Yeah. Did you try hypnotherapy when your therapist suggested it?

I didn't. That suggestion just like kind of. It was a no thank you. And that was from the therapist that you're seeing now? Yeah. Did you try hypnotherapy when your therapist suggested it? I didn't. That suggestion just like kind of. It was a no thank you. And that was from the therapist that you're seeing now? Yeah. So she's seeing your stand up because you say that in your special. She, she. Don't you and I have, she's, you know what is I'm realizing now?

She asked me if it was cool if she watched it and I said yes, but we haven't talked about it after. Well, I mean, it was her suggestion. So she's going to have to take accountability for it. I told her, I was like, I want you to know, I do have a joke about you. So just so you know. And she was like, okay, thanks for that. I went to hypnotherapy only for smoking cigarettes.

And that worked for about eight years. But that was like, I mean, it was therapy. But he basically, it's Kerry Gator. And he basically berates you for a half an hour, telling you how disgusting you are for smoking and that you're like basically a coal miner breathing in toxins and fumes and you're like I'm disgusted by myself at this point too whoa so and then he hypnotizes you but you're not under under you know it's just like suggest I don't think hypnosis is what people think it

means right like it's almost like you're lightly under and you're just a little bit more open to, you know, suggestion. Your eyes aren't spirals. There's no clock. Right. Right. There's no media has really sort of warped our perception of hypnosis. Right. Exactly. So I think our advice to you is stick with the therapy is the most important thing. Yeah. And maybe also, you know, if hypnotherapy is a little too expensive, maybe find like a group that is less expensive or, you know, free option, sliding scale sort of thing. It would be better to do hypnotherapy with a group anyway, quite frankly. That's more fun.

Yeah. Because then you can see it in action. You know, I always like to see things before they happen to me. Yeah. See them happen to other people. Yeah. Well, our next question comes from Libby. She has throuple problems. I love throuple problems. Okay, great. So she says, Dear Chelsea,

story time. I'm a 24-year-old woman and I'm part of a throuple. When I met my two partners almost three years ago, we were really just hanging out and hooking up. My girlfriend and I soon fell in love and decided we should all be together. A couple months in, our boyfriend, and a helpful note is that her girlfriend and her boyfriend were together for several years before they got together. A couple months in, our boyfriend just stopped trying to engage in any kind of sexual activity with our girlfriend and me. No matter how hard we tried to entice him, he was the furthest thing from interested. I soon discovered this has been an ongoing problem in basically every adult relationship he's ever had. He and I are both managers for the same company. A couple weeks ago, he transferred back to a store in which he notoriously flirted with women he worked with

there. It was a point of contention in our throuple for a long time. The same week, he told us that he was not interested in having sex with either one of us or, quote, anyone else. He said he thinks it would be best if we found another guy to hook up with. Basically, he wants to be roommates who give each other goodbye kisses and hang out at the end of the day. He wants to be a family unit but doesn't want to do anything romantically. He also started staying after work two to three hours after the store is closed. He will not go to the doctor to try and figure out his lack of libido. He refuses to go to therapy. It's gotten to the point where he will even look away

if one of us is changing our clothes. It's kind of weird to me that he seems fine with us sleeping with another guy so he doesn't have to be bothered with it. Should we just accept being roommates with him? Yes, yes, he's telling you he doesn't want anything to do with you. What is the fucking question here?

She's going to join us here in a second oh she's on oh great i can yell at her in person yeah it says uh is he asexual is he gay is he hiding something what if we do sleep with another man and ours suddenly decides he wants to sleep with someone else i have no clue how to go about this there are multitudes of men who would die for the chance to have two hot funny girlfriends libby hi lib. Hi, Libby. Hi, Libby. Hi. Hi, everybody. Wow.

This is such a fun feature of this podcast. Okay, so first of all, that's really funny because he's telling you he wants nothing to do with you and you're trying to make him be a part of your thruple. It's over. Yes. I was afraid of that. I needed to find out from the queen herself. I think that you guys can talk about what it would be like transitioning if you really feel

that it's good to continue this attachment in a platonic way with him in terms of the roommate arrangement. I think if you guys can really be cool with that in your heart, knowing that he is staying two to three hours after work and really being honest with yourself to make peace with the fact that if he is, you know, truly, you know, messing around or doing whatever that that's not going to affect your living situation. If the answer is no, then I think the answer is no. And you guys kind of move on from there. It sounds like his move is to flirt. If he has no libido, you think he has a libido at work and he's having sex with these other women. I mean, it's really neither here nor there actually but just out of curiosity no and that's the thing like that's how he kind of drew me in when we met because we met at work coincidentally and he was

charming and he still is like he is a great guy he's funny he's flirty when he wants to be but I truly don't believe that he's actually going out and having sex with other people. But it's just this secretness and the need to sneak around that's confusing because he was never like that in the past. And now all of a sudden, this comes out that he has no sexual interest in us. And now all of a sudden, like the other night, he decided that he was going to go out after work. And that's no big deal. But I just feel like with the way the situation is right now, like, that was just weird. All of a sudden, he was like, Yeah, I'm gonna go out after work. And our was like not that i care but like where

do you think you're gonna go and he was just like anywhere but here talking about work he was just very vague and it was almost just like trying to be mean and just trying to get a rise out of the both of us i think you and your girl should skip town i think you guys start a new life i think you guys kind of i think it's a wrap on this on this throuple. I mean, he couldn't be more plain about it. And when people are embarrassed or shameful, especially with regard to their sexual performance, they will make it seem like they have other things, that they're drumming up business elsewhere. So he might just be doing that to pretend like, oh no, he's not interested, especially if he's being outwardly mean to you and being like anywhere. But here here clearly you guys have done something that

made him uncomfortable or feel less than and so he's trying to make that very clear to you I don't think you should be trying to gather any more information from him yes and it's just so hard with to get him to communicate at all because he is just so closed off and I could have a million conversations where I'm like you know are you upset like I understand if you are that's very valid and I just get a it's whatever I think also I could see it being within the realm of possibilities that he may be threatened by the connection between the two of you you know I think he had this pre-existing relationship with your girlfriend. And then I think the male ego is pretty fragile. I don't want to make

generalizations, but I think the male ego can be fragile and it's possible that he's feeling threatened and that's not your labor and that's actually not your guys' responsibility. And that's also not something that anyone can heal but him. Yes. And we have had those conversations as well. Like my girlfriend has flat out said, like, is us being together, her and I, a problem for you? Because at the time, she was like, I would rather work on us if that's a problem. She's like, I love this struggle and what we have, but it's a 10- year relationship. So if that's going to save it, then she would be willing to like work on it. And he just says, no, absolutely not. That's not fair to either one of you. Like, I love her too. Why would I want that? He just completely shuts down

the idea, but it just feels like there's something there that he's not saying. Yeah. But that's not your problem. He's expressing to you. he's no longer interested and you're like but why but why but maybe you are it doesn't matter you know what i mean you have to respect his space and you have to respect the fact that he's not interested anymore are you and the girlfriend your girlfriend and his girlfriend ish on the same page about this we are she just has the 10-year attachment so that is a lot for. They have two kids together. And there's so much intertwined. It is an entire life that we have to separate like down to bank accounts, who has the kids on the weekend. It's a lot for her in that sense. And she thinks like, why would I want to go through the trouble of all of that if I could try to make this work but I don't think there's anything left to make work I also don't think you guys they don't need to legally divorce if they want to keep that feeling they don't have to separate bank accounts they could just like keep that under control and just separate in a way that doesn't involve

legality and anything like that yeah that's That's the nice part. They're not technically married. They've just been together for 10 years. You just solved another problem in this dynamic. Yes. But my girlfriend is also like, well, if he wants to be done, then I want absolutely nothing to do with him. And I do not want any reminder. I do not want to share a bank account. I do not want to see him using money to take somebody else out on a date if that's the case. And I can understand that too. Yeah, but that's also you have to get to a place where there's not such emotion attached to that relationship. That's reactive. She has two children with him, so she's never getting away from him. She's going to have to see him on a date. And that's not fair because

you guys are in a relationship and he's been privy to that. And he clearly didn't like it, you know, because he's trying to extricate himself. So I think everybody like I think some space would do you all very well. You know, it would serve you all well. So you can get some perspective. And it sounds like he's pissed and he's a little bit angry and he needs to extricate himself from the situation so he can settle. And you guys can settle in this new dynamic that you have that is you know without a man and if you guys find someone else you want to introduce to the two of you that's fine too but give it some time without pushing at it you know what i mean like let the dust settle and actually like retreat with your girlfriend and

make a delineation in the relationship so that there's no confusion anymore. There's no expectations from you guys that he's going to join you sexually. It doesn't matter what he's doing out of the relationship. That's really none of your business anymore. Right, and I think that clarity does need to come from you because it seems like so far it's been like, well, what does he want? What's going on with him?

And I think since he's not giving you that, you have to decide for yourself if this is right for you and make that delineation for what makes sense for you. Yeah. And that's also something I've been thinking about a lot lately, too, because I love our relationship and I love the kids. I love being around it. I love my life. But I'm also 24 years old and it's this is a lot yeah it is a lot of life it's a lot for a 44 year old never mind a 24 year old but I think listen you have an opportunity here to like be the voice of reason to come in since there's more emotional attachment between the two of them than there is between you and him necessarily I think and you can be the voice of reason and go

hey guys he's made himself clear there's I don't want to be the voice of reason and go, hey, guys, he's made himself clear. There's I don't want to be the cause of all of this, like any ruination in a family, especially when there are children involved. So let's sit down and have a really adult conversation about how to move forward in a way that serves all three of you. You know, what's the best way to move forward without anger and without negativity and without this kind of reciprocity of like, well, he's doing that. We're going to do this or whatever, you know? Yes.

And that is what I'm trying to break right now between my girlfriend, like the, he's doing this, so we should do this in retaliation or because it's good. We think it's going to make us feel better, whatever it is. I think that we should just, like you said, let the dust settle, go about life, try to just let this sit and feel this for a bit before we make any big life moves with anybody else or do anything else. Yeah, I think that's the best way to move forward. Yeah. Keep in mind, you are 24 years old, lots of things can change in a second. Your interests can change. Your sexual interests can change. Your predisposition to all of these things. Everything is moving and fluid. So you don't want to tie

yourself to this situation for long term anyway, no matter how you're feeling. You're too young to be like committing to something more than a year down the road. Do you agree with that? I agree with it. But the hopeless romantic in me is like, no, this is forever. But I'm also a realist in the sense that like, I know things can change at the drop of a hat so much already has in my life. And as much as I want this to be like something forever, I can also understand that it might not be and that's totally okay. I have definitely started over and rebuilt things a couple times in my life already. So that's not the scariest thing in the world. It's just, I love my girlfriend, and I would do anything for her. And at the moment, like,

that is what I am worried about in the sense of life and who I want to be with. As for him, like I am just so exhausted with there always being an issue, like somebody is never truly satisfied with something, you know, and I'm very go with the flow. So I'm comfortable in life. And I made a lot of sacrifices to fit this life. Not that I didn't want to. You just have to do that from single to being in a relationship. But I don't know. I just feel like I am thinking very like, okay, let's just do this and take the next step. And it's not as easy for her. It's easy for him, obviously, but it's a lot. Well, you just said something. First of all, I want to just clarify, you can be a hopeless romantic and be a realist. Those two things can exist at the same time. You can be totally in love with someone

and hope to spend the rest of your life with them and be pragmatic about it and know that if certain things happen, it may not work out that way. So it's okay to be a hopeless romantic. Like, that's nice. And that's what your 20s are for. But I would try to take this opportunity to lead them in a way to communicate with each other since it sounds like you are the one that has the healthiest outlook towards the situation try and get them to a place where there isn't so much negativity and like they have to act in like the best interest of their children and having a long-term relationship that's going to last for decades until they're dead you know they're going to have these kids for the rest of their

lives so it's in everyone's best interest to find a better way to move forward and then move forward. I get stuck when it comes to trying to work out the all or nothing mindset that the two of them can have sometimes. For example, my girlfriend was the one that said, maybe you should move in with your parents for a couple of weeks they live like maybe a block or two away it would be super convenient like it would give them some space maybe they can learn to miss each other because I think that's something that needs to happen I think he needs to miss us and he shut it down and he was like I'm not doing that I'm getting my own place or I'm staying here yeah we'll have him get his own place yeah Yeah, that doesn't sound like the type of

if you were starting new with someone you had no attachment to and no history with. And they said that to you, you would walk away in a second. I think history cannot serve as an excuse for bad behavior and an unwillingness to compromise. Like I think sometimes history clouds the types of standards that you would otherwise have for yourself. And it's important to run everything he says through the metrics of the most respectful treatment that you both deserve. Yes. And these every sign and every action that he has done throughout this, I've been thinking about it. And it's not even a soft breakup. It is a very hard breakup. Those are very hard breakup signs. Yeah. It's like you're resisting the breakup though. Like what you guys

are doing is resisting the reality of a situation, which will only prolong a situation. And you're resisting what he's telling you. Like he's giving you the information. You're being like investigating it further. There's no need for that. It's time for the next step to move forward and get him out of the house. Let him go. He wants to go. He's not into you guys. Accept that. Yes. And I definitely am ready to accept that. I just need to get my girlfriend on the same page. She is doing a lot better with it. Like she understands. I just think it's hard altogether. She's just grieving the relationship as a whole. Yeah. But we both know that we need to move forward and stick to our guns because he has a tendency to blow things up kind of like this and like say like, oh, maybe we should just break up or whatever. And things just weirdly go back to normal. It's like it never happened. Like he woke

up and changed his mind the next day. And I think that's just not wanting to leave the comfortability of the life that he does have with us and like the house that we have and everything else. Right. I'm not sure what to do there because I feel like we always get to a certain point and then there's just a standstill and he just waits for things to die down or something. Well, I think you need to go to your girlfriend and say, we're going to go to have a conversation with him. And the next move is for him to move out. We're existing in a situation that is no longer hospitable for anybody. Do you guys rent? Who's on the lease? We have a mortgage and it's him that's on the mortgage, but he's willing to move out

so we can switch that around. It's so messy. But great. But the thing is, in these messy situations, you have to take steps. It's like a twister that just keeps going around and around until someone steps in and changes what's happening. So you have to be that person. Step one, let's get him out of the house. He doesn't want to be here.

We'll figure out the name on the mortgage later. But let's take one step at a time so that everybody is feeling better about the situation. Yeah. We're just going to have to have that conversation and realign our responsibilities and just make it work for the two of us. Yeah. Great. Go do it. We wish you luck. You're going to be fine. Just, but be a voice of reason. Don't get sucked into this like windmill of not. It's just nonsensical. It's not working for anyone anymore. Yeah. And I have a habit of letting myself get sucked in and just. Yeah, I know. I know you have to take yourself out of the drama, even though you're part of the drama. Yeah. And I would encourage your girlfriend to see somebody to deal with like the anger part of it, because if she can solve that

piece of it, I think this whole thing will be a lot easier for everybody as nothing good comes from being passive aggressive and being reactive it's all just like toxic yeah yeah all right libby thank you so much for calling in and keep us posted on what happens okay yes thank you guys so much i appreciate you all okay bye bye libby who would have ever thought a thruple gone wrong? Have you ever been part of a throuple, Hannah? No, I haven't. I've only been part of a sexual throuple, not a relationship throuple. And that served its purposes beautifully. You do sort of think like she's living the dream, right?

They're raising kids together. They're having a great time. But then it's like complicated emotions. But I love the sentence of any other guy would die to be in this situation. It's like that has nothing to do with what's happening. Yeah. That's standard. What are you saying?

Like that he should be more excited sexually than he is. Like you can't make someone be attracted to a situation that they've lost interest in. And, you know, it's totally legitimate if he were asexual or like gray asexual and like still emotionally intimate with them. But that does not seem like that sounds like that's soured yeah but we always add drama to things like especially women we have a tendency and that's totally sexist but it's fucking true we add drama where we don't need to so our job is to withdraw the drama you know when you can cut it cut it and can i loved what you said about like viewing it in the context of a new relationship.

Like we get so sucked into, you know, the fallacy of sunk costs. Like I've spent 10 years with this person. I gotta make it work. It's like, no, you have to like do what's right for you right now. It doesn't matter what the last 10 years have been. And also when you're not legally married,

that is such an advantage in this world. Like you already set yourself up for success by not getting legally married in the first place. Yeah. Yeah. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities.

I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can

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It's lighthearted, pretty crazy, and very fun. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro, host of the hit podcast, Family Secrets. How would you feel if when you met your biological father for the first time, he didn't even say hello? And how would you feel if your doctor advised you to keep your life-altering medical procedure a secret from everyone? And what if your past itself was a secret, and the time had suddenly come to share that past with your child? These are just a few of the powerful and profound questions we'll be asking on our 11th season of Family Secrets.

Some of you have been with us since Season 1, and others are just tuning in. Whatever the case, and wherever you are, thank you for being part of our Family Secrets family, where every week we explore the secrets that are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others, and the secrets we keep from ourselves. Listen to season 11 of Family Secrets

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next caller is Riley. She's real fun. Her question is, am I an asshole for having sex in my new friend's apartment bathroom? Short summary, I got invited to a party by three guys I met at the movie theater. I go to their house party the next day. I tend to be an oversharer

and ask the guys for feedback on my nudes. I start fooling around with one of them and things quickly escalate. We're both very caught up in the moment and decide to move to the bathroom to have sex. A female friend of the apartment owner got very upset at me, screaming at me the moment we left the bathroom.

This is all like 4.30 in the morning, by the way. I am bummed because I thought I was making new friends i feel really bad and i texted the apartment owner that i'm sorry i acknowledge how disgusting it must feel to have other people in your space i appreciate the kind gesture of inviting someone you've met a day prior to your apartment and i'm sorry i took advantage of that i also offered to deep clean his bathroom or pay someone to do it am i a huge asshole for doing this riley obsessed with you you are so iconic oh my god i mean i feel like if there's a window to be having sex in a bathroom, you picked the right one. Like 4.30 a.m.

I feel like that's a totally different story than doing it in the middle of the afternoon. You know what I mean? If you guys are up after a certain amount of time, like all bets are off. People who fucked in my bunk bedroom multiple times in my old house there were like five different couples that hooked up there during a party and i encouraged it i mean and that's harder to clean than a bathroom you know those are hard services i would have done so well at woodstock queen you are a free love diva you know he cleaned up all the cum afterwards and she still got upset so it's not i don't i did right. I feel, both my parents know the story in that detail

and they are on my side. So I don't know what these people are up to. I agree, obsessed. And so is your friend, your friend is still mad at you? Well, okay, I have an update to the story. I don't know if you have time for this update. I think we do. Go for it.

I sent that apology text, right? And I sent another apology text a week after the sex incident. I got a text message literally the eve of my birthday on the 29th, which is like a couple weeks after 4th of July. And this is what the text message I get. Hey, you dumb bitch. If you're actually fucking sorry for what you did, DoorDash Ethan, a McDonald's Big Mac meal 20 piece chicken mcnuggets tomorrow at 6 30 p.m send trent your nudes some guy at the party and give me back my hair clip along with a bottle of alcohol so i can disinfect that shit because i don't want to catch any crabs from you

so ethan is the apartment owner right yes and this girl she doesn't live there she has nothing to do with this no she is you are you are triggering her because she's threatened by her sexual freedom doll you know what's so funny is that like we had like i was cool with everyone before this sex incident like this girl is like this cute girl and we had this like whole conversation about like if she takes nudes like sex questions and like she was cool with everything the turning point was me having sex in the bathroom so and so did you respond to that text not really I responded a couple days so after this text message she sent me another text saying where's our mcdonald's you stupid bitch oh my god and a couple days later i just like wanted to end it saying hey like alice let's call her alice hey

alice like i don't have your hair clip i have no idea what you're talking about and i sent a screenshot of christopher the guy i hooked up with he sent me this long ass apology like the day we had sex like after she yelled at me kicked me out i sent a screenshot of that and said like hey i wish you guys well bye and i venmoed this bitch a hundred dollars why why why because just okay like if you're that mad at me like here you go yeah but she's unstable she's unhinged she has no business talking to you like that everyone it's just like the last like here you go like if you're that fucking angry here you go like i'm sorry for fucking in your bathroom listen listen having sex in a bathroom is not a crime it's just not suggested at most places you can totally do that and it's a funny story but anyone who addresses you and talks to you and says you're a dumb bitch you don't are not giving them money in the future

do you understand that you're being bullied by some fucking girl who has no say in this situation you know what's funny these people are in their 30s i just turned 27 don't beat yourself up for this no scenario no i'm definitely not no everybody's on my side okay good yeah don't engage with people who talk to you like that like it's so gross when women talk to women like that yeah i'm you know this is funny because this is like top two of the biggest like verbal arguments I've had. And both of them were like with a female and like sex related. So like something with women against women and like sex, like it's. Well, it's what Hannah said that people get threatened by other people's freedom in any area of their life. And especially sexually, if someone else isn't as sexually free and they see someone being sexually free,

that is a threat to them. Yeah. It's fucking's a good story good job on letting him clean up all the cum way to go on that you know what a gentleman you know okay i just want to say like i just like think about like obviously this guy and i are not on good terms right now but the minute before we went to the bathroom he like told me like i want to fuck your brains out and i just like i just want to i just like remember that moment like i get sad about oh i lost some friends he was the one who came on to me like let's just put it that way i didn't initiate yeah the sex at all and also like these people are not your friends right these people they seemed like they were going to be fun and interesting and they treated you like dirt also you know you knew

them for a couple of days. So no harm done. Yeah, it's kind of Yeah, it's funny how it all worked out. Yeah. It's a good cocktail party story, though. Totally. It's very funny. Yeah. And like, in the fact that I get to meet you and like, tell the story, like to my favorite comedian is like, this is the best day of my life. So look, one of the worst decisions that you thought you made led to a really good decision. See how that worked out already? You already had good vibes from what you thought was a bad

decision, which wasn't even a bad decision. You just had a fun night. Yeah, no, it was fun. Yeah, who cares? The guy was man enough to defend me and be like, hey, I didn't do anything wrong. I don't think we did anything wrong. Don't depend on men for anything. Yeah. And obviously, don't depend on women either. I just depend on you. You're all you've got. Yeah, I know. Well, good luck with everything. And I hope you make some new, cooler friends quickly.

Thank you, Chelsea. Thanks, Riley. Bye. Bye. Bye-bye. And on that note, we're going to take a break and come back to wrap things up with Hannah Einbinder. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities.

I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts

so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden.

And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all's baffling questions like... Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us

the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us tonight. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really,

No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, No Really. Yeah, Really, No Really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to opening? Really, no really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really

and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. You know that rush of endorphins you

feel after a great workout? Well, that's when the real magic happens. So if you love hearing real, inspiring stories from the people you know, follow, and admire, join me every week for Post Run High. It's where we take the conversation beyond the run and get into the heart of it all. It's lighthearted, pretty crazy, and very fun. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro, host of the hit podcast, Family Secrets. How would you feel if when you met your biological father for the first time, he didn't even say hello? And how would you feel if your doctor advised you to keep your life-altering medical procedure a secret from everyone?

And what if your past itself was a secret and the time had suddenly come to share that past with your child? These are just a few of the powerful and profound questions we'll be asking on our 11th season of Family Secrets. Some of you have been with us since season one and others are just tuning in. Whatever the case and wherever you are, thank you for being part of our Family Secrets family, where every week we explore the secrets that are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others, and the secrets we keep from ourselves.

Listen to season 11 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. And there is no cum on the counter. Wow. I love that she came out with cum like 10 seconds into the call. I just I like that whole story. I know. I'm just mad that she Venmo them because when I talked to her, she had like said, oh, she wants me to send them food, whatever. And I was like, don't do any of those things that she told you to do no she venmoed her money oh girl i know under the umbrella of i'm sorry for having sex with your friend in your other friend's apartment like none of that makes any sense i think this girl has a crush on one or multiple of those guys and he's like jealous like you said jealous very transparent you know they're just sitting around sending her that text like let's see what we can

get her to do it's such bullying yeah If they're in their 30s and they can't afford McDonald's, then like a good riddance. Yeah. And if they're in their 30s and they want McDonald's, call me because I still feel the same way. Well, I have a quickie we can wrap up with. So this email is from Ben. He says, Dear Chelsea, girl, I need some help. I'm a 30 year old gay man living in Texas. I know, I knowyear-old gay man living in Texas. I know, I know. I moved here from L.A. hoping to educate some of these fucking Republicans. It's not going great.

Anyway, I love to have a good time. Not like I have a fucking problem. But vodka and I get along very, very well. I am never a messy drunk or mean or out of control. I'm fun, love to laugh. And usually when I'm drunk, I'll dance on a table and will usually tell people how much I love them, how much they're going to achieve all their fucking dreams, even if I don't believe it's sober. So my issue is I can have the best time drinking, go to bed after an amazing night, but the next morning I wake up and feel like everyone hates me. I have an insane amount of regret and I literally have to check in with

people and make sure they're not mad at me after getting drunk. I love drinking and have no desire to stop, but why do I always feel this way after drinking and how can I snap out of it? I know you love a good time with alcohol and occasional drug use. Please help. That's anxiety from that's a result of consuming too much alcohol. Yeah. So you have to. That's what happens to so many people when they over drink. As much as I love to drink, I do not over drink. I drink to the point where I have a buzz, but I do not allow myself to get wasted anymore. So you have to calibrate your drinking. It's totally fine to go out and have a good time, but you don't need to get wasted every time you go out.

That just leads to people not wanting to hang out with you and regretful feelings in the morning. And it causes anxiety. Alcohol causes anxiety, not while you're drinking it the very next day. This is very common among a lot of people. So you can also complement your alcohol use with an edible so you don't drink as much. You know, when I have an edible, I don't have the desire to have a drink. Last night I went out to dinner and I had two drinks and an edible. I don't have the desire to have a drink. Last night I went out to dinner and I had two drinks and an edible. And that's usually my kind of like, you know, if it's a dinner and I'm not out, out, just get yourself down to a reasonable amount of drinking so that you start feeling better in the morning and take days off too. You can't drink every day because if you want to get rid of that anxiety, you have to like get control of the situation first. But there's no, you don't

have to stop as long as you get it under control. I had a boyfriend once said to me, I never want to overdo anything because I never want to have to quit anything. And I took that advice pretty seriously. I mean, I've overdone things plenty of times, but I always reel it in when I need to. Yeah, I was going to suggest incorporating pot as well.

I mean, you're drinking less. Also like pot tends to, whenever I mean, you're drinking less. Also, like pot tends to, whenever I drink, ease the symptoms of like any hangover type thing the next day. Like I feel like pot kind of curbs some of that stuff. You mean the night before or the next day when you're feeling it? The next day I feel I'm less hungover if I've smoked weed. Yeah. You're not a big drinker.

No, no. Is it because it gives you anxiety or you just don't like alcohol? It doesn't really do the thing that it does for other people on me. It's very rare that I drink and I'm like, I feel amazing. The only time I've ever felt that way is actually having a lychee martini from that restaurant jar on Beverly Boulevard. I know it. It's the only time i've drank alcohol and thought oh i understand like this is really good i'm so like physically jewish that like i can't get the good feeling before i get like nauseous or a headache like i i just like get the physical like

shitty symptoms before i can like have fun right and. And how old is this guy? 30. Okay. So you want to get this under control now. Yeah. And like, and just so you know, like if you look that up, like hangover anxiety, it is very common. People always are experiencing that. So you just want to like control the situation. And once you get control of a situation and then you can introduce different things, you can try a light edible, you can try a joint, whatever you prefer, however you prefer to ingest. I prefer joints, but I can't smoke weed anymore because of my larynx.

I butchered that. Another thing I overdid. So now I have to take edibles whether I like it or not. But I made that adjustment because you have to. I don't have a choice, really. You just have to control your habits. Yeah, that's right. Okay.

Hannah Einbinder, you know I love you. I love you. Thank you for driving to my house. Hell yeah. In Brentwood, no less, even though you were in Venice. that's right okay hannah einbinder you know i love you i love you thank you for driving to my house hell yeah in brentwood no less even though you were in venice that's right that's okay and thank you for christening our podcast room this is one of our first in-person podcasts is that so yeah we've only had one other one but yeah this is going to be our new home so i'm very happy to have you christen it awesome i'm happy to be human sage. And you can watch Hannah's special on Max and you can watch Hacks on Match and on Match on Match.com. You can watch Hacks on Max and you can watch Hannah's special Everything Must Go on Max as well. And you'll be hearing more from her. I can

guarantee it. And we'll see you all next week. Bye. Bye. Okay, so upcoming shows that I have you guys I will be all over Maine Charlotte North Carolina Charleston South Carolina I'm coming to Texas I'm coming to St. Louis and Kansas City and then I will be in Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel my first three dates in Vegas are September 1st Labor Day, and then November 2nd and November 30th. I'm coming to Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November 8th. And I have tickets on sale throughout the end of the year in December. So if you're in a city like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans or Omaha, check ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. Okay.

If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com and be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden.

And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer.

Go to ReallyKnowReally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s,

tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that'll resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is gonna be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world.

Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme.

Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season, but, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Sheckner, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. I'm Madison Packer, a pro hockey veteran going on my 10th season in New York. And I'm Anya Packer, a former pro hockey player and now a full Madison Packer stan. Anya and I met through hockey, and now we're married and moms to two awesome toddlers, ages two and four. And we're excited about our new podcast, Moms Who Puck, which talks about everything from pro hockey to professional women's athletes to raising children and all the messiness in between.

So listen to Moms Who Puck on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro, host of the hit podcast, Family Secrets. How would you feel if when you met your biological father for the first time, he didn't even say hello? And what if your past itself was a secret, and the time had suddenly come to share that past with your child? These are just a few of the powerful and profound questions we'll be asking on our 11th season of Family Secrets.

Listen to season 11 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.