Dear Chelsea - A Lot of Things Happen for a Reason with Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach & Amanda Doyle

Episode Date: August 4, 2022

Chelsea is joined this week by #1 NYT bestselling author of Untamed, Love Warrior, and Get Untamed: The Journal Glennon Doyle, her wife, soccer icon Abby Wambach, and co-host of the trio’s podcast We Can Do Hard Things, Amanda Doyle. They discuss what Abby thought the moment she first saw Glennon, taking a leap of faith when there’s nothing there to catch you, and Abby and Glennon’s not-so-secret move to LA.  Then: A couple negotiates whether to spend their money on home improvements or a fabulous wedding.  A 30-year-old is frustrated by a dating double-standard.  And a victim of childhood abuse weighs her options as she’s finally forced to confront her abuser.   * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

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Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is I think embarrassing to the SEC. Follow the Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.

Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapoport, and my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rapoport Stereo Podcast where I discuss entertainment, sports,

politics, and anything and everything that catches my attention. I am here to call it as I see it, and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Listen to the I Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season, but, you know,

I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E, Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea. I'm very excited today because we have a special guest today on the show whose podcast I did last week, which I was here for, Glennon Doyle's podcast, We Can Do Hard Things, with Abby

Wambach and her sister, Amanda. And my sister actually just called, as I said, sister. Do you see that? Shushy, shushy. I will ignore her. I did Glennon's podcast, which was awesome and felt so good, so cathartic. It was so cathartic. Yeah. I mean, you really went there. You know, you unloaded it all and talked about your growth and, and how, where you're at right now. And I thought that was so powerful. Oh, well, thank you so much. It felt really good. It's so nice to, you know, have the type of personality that I have in times like this, because I'm never shy about being real, you know, like I, well, oversharing. I love that. I mean, that's been like the theme of my entire, you know, career and life.

Like the two are so intertwined that it feels so good to share it with so many people because you just really don't understand the impact that you can have on like the messages and the DMs and all of the stuff and the people, you know, who get to hear that. And like your pain is never your own. You can always just like by letting it out, you are healing yourself and healing others. Yeah. I was thinking about this sort of separately, but in relation to, I've been rewatching some Kardashians lately, just as my junk food TV. Why are you rewatching? Or isn't there a new season?

There is. I like am rewatching it in Or is there a new season? There is. I like I'm rewatching it in order chronological. So I'm waiting to watch the new season. But I was just like, you know what, I just feel like I need to know what's going on in the world. But one thing I really appreciate, especially as someone who like has a couple autoimmune issues and these sorts of things. But it is really nice to see someone else who seemingly has, you know, people who have these seemingly wonderful lives and they have migraines or psoriasis or whatever the case may be. And I just really appreciate them sharing things like their fertility journeys and, you know, health issues. The Kardashians? Yeah. Yeah. So openly. Who has migraines? Chloe? Chloe has migraines.

And who had the fertility issues? Kim and I think Chloe like thought she was going to have some fertility issues or maybe did and then wound up getting pregnant naturally. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. Yeah. But Kim had all kinds of issues with her first two pregnancies. Oh, yeah. I saw her when she was pregnant with that first baby. That was not miserable. Yeah, I remember looking. I think we flew somewhere on Ryan Seacrest's plane at some point, and her ankles, I was like, oh, ow, ow. It looked painful. What happened to her ankles? Yeah, yeah.

But it's just nice to see that, like, other people go through that. Yeah, that's nice that they do that. And they're scared when they get diagnoses, and, you know, they work through them. And I don't know if there's something really reassuring about hearing what somebody else has gone through, just like you shared. And it's also nice that that whole clan has each other. You know what I mean? Like there's so many of them with the mother and the five sister, you know, more every day. They have someone to lean on all the time. Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, there's just like this gaggle of kids who are growing up in the limelight and they're going to all have each other,

which is kind of a cool thing. Yeah. Yeah. So I am coming to Vancouver, two shows, Friday, August 12th. I'm coming to Calgary, August 13th. And then again, August 14th. I am coming to Saratoga, California, October 1st, October 8th, I'm going to be in Niagara Falls. And then I'm coming to Long Beach, California and Bakersfield, October 14th, 15th. October 21st and 22nd, Paso Robles, California. And I will be in Vegas, October 22nd. Yeah, the mirage. And then October 29th, Wheatland, California.

And then I have a whole bunch of other dates. Tampa, Fort Myers, Daytona Beach, Florida, Hollywood, Baltimore, Maryland, Riverside, California, Pennsylvania, Wilkes-Barre. I finally learned how to say that after my 50th trip there. Anyway, all those tickets and more are available at ChelseaHandler.com. So our guest today is Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and her sister, Amanda. Amanda doesn't have a last name, according to me. Hi, guys. Sissy, are you nervous? This is our first podcast we've done together. What?

Yeah. Like, off of our own podcast, this is our first ever experience like this. Oh, my God. I love to divergenize lesbians. I'm just happy to be starting in the minor leagues, you know, for my first, I feel like it's important to get my, get my feet wet before I do like some real big ones. Oh my God. Well, guys, I mean, we're bonded for life forever. Okay. Cause we had, we had an incredible experience, all of us together the other day when we did We Can Do Hard Things. And we talked a lot about my life and my personal experiences of late and all of that fun stuff, which was super cathartic and helpful. And the response from everyone is just always blows me

away. Sometimes I sit there, you know, I was this morning, I had all this Mexican food left over, and my housekeeper was making me some delicious Mexican breakfast situation. And I was just scrolling through Instagram and my DMs, and I was just reading and reading one woman after another after another. And you just never, ever, you can never overestimate the impact being honest and sharing has on other people. It's been magic for us today. I mean, I've had friends call me today crying. I've never heard someone speak about love like that. I've never heard someone talk about not abandoning them. Something magic happened during that hour, for real. I actually texted your editor, who you're writing your new book with,

and I was like, I'm telling you, something new is happening with this conversation that Chelsea's starting right now. I can feel it. I can feel it. It's a new thing. Well, you've been incremental in having the conversation as well

as anyone familiar with Glennon's books and Glennon's podcast and everything Glennon does as well, because you are all about learning about yourself and opening yourself up. So I thought today what we could talk about before we give advice to strangers, which is my favorite thing in the world, I wanted to know from all three of you about your relationship together and what you find to be the most valuable insight from you two, Sissy, about their relationship individually and together that you value in each other and what you've learned about yourself by being in this kind of healthy relationship. So, Abby, I'm going to start with you. I want you to tell me what is the most, one of the most, because I'm sure it is endless.

What is one of the things that you admire most about Glennon? I mean, this is tough. And I don't mean this in like a goo-goo-ga-ga way. I just think that the way Glennon, the way she approaches life in truth is something that I have, first of all, I needed to learn when we first met. I was like in the pro sports world where I didn't let any of the outside world really know what was going on with me personally. And when I first talked to Glennon, you know, I had just gotten a DUI and I was asking her if I should put it in my book. And I was like freaking out. I was like really having a hard time.

And she just shamelessly was like, just tell the truth. The truth is where the normal people live and where we want to have good connected conversations. And so the way that Glennon lives in her truth and her work ethic is something that I marvel at. I mean, I'm a nap taker and she isn't I'm a nap shamer she's a nap shaker yeah and then I would say for sister for Amanda Doyle are I mean literally we're all doing life together you are the person in our life that just gets shit done. And I know it comes at a personal cost to you. It's stressful.

It's hard. You just are the best. I feel like all three of us have really fabulous parts of a personality that make up one perfect human being. Yeah. We feel like we're body, mind, and spirit, but it's like body is Abby and mind is sister and spirit is me. So on our own, we're kind of lost. It's not good. Together, we make one fully functioning. But sister and I have been, Amanda and I have been inseparable since she was born three years after I was born. I always, I feel scared about those three years. Like what the hell was I doing? Except for when I was really bad, lost in addiction, she had to put up some serious boundaries during that time. So when Abby came into my life,

it was really interesting because when it's a boy, it's like, all right, whatever. Like there's nothing threatening there to a sisterhood, you know? But bringing a woman into our life was like interesting to recalibrate. Like, is this, so is she, she's, is she part of our sisterhood now? Is she the other? Sister wives? Sister wife. Yeah. Amanda's like, do I have to have sex with her too? What's going on here? It was never on offer, Chelsea. Yeah. I remember that being a tricky time. Do you remember sister? Cause I feel like I just was, I never knew if you were going to feel

uncalibrated during that time. I always assumed and all roads would lead to that being the case. And I remember being completely shocked that that was never a factor. I know. There was never, I mean, it's surprising because that's not my character. I'm jealous. I'm jealous of everything. Yeah.

And I, it just never was. So, I mean, for me, I was shocked by Abby. I'm always shocked by Abby. But I was shocked because I never knew that I could love someone like I love you, Glennon. And I do. I love Abby that much. And so, and Abby plays a very specific role in my life.

I was talking to my therapist the other day. Yes, I made it into a therapy appointment. Yeah, exactly. For the good reasons. Not usually the reasons people make it into therapy. And I'm a hyper monitor. So I'm always like looking for problems. I never, I never rest because I'm always just anticipating three steps ahead and figuring out what the world and situation needs for me. And my therapist was like, can you think of any time? Well,

she meant like times, like wide swaths of time. And I was like, no. She's like, can you think of any particular moment where you haven't felt like that? And I said, yes, with my sister-in-law. When I'm with Abby, she is this perfect blend of having things under control, of knowing what's going on, but without being manic or anxious about it. And so it's this secret sauce of the only time that I can feel like, oh, she's got it. And it's the only time I'm like restful ever. Yeah. Wow. Sounds right.

Sweet. You deserve more. That sounds like you guys are just, I mean, it's like you're everybody is right where they belong. It does feel that way. And for me, I mean, I kind of don't understand how we got along, sister, with before Abby. Like she's such a delightful addition. She just adds so much delight and lightness.

Well, we got along, but we weren't having any fun. That's what it was. We were miserable. We loved each other, but we were miserable and we hated our lives. Misery is our comfort zone. That's so funny because that's what exactly when I referenced watching one of your Instagram posts the other day, Abby, of you and when Glennon was just like, I hit my feelings suck. Everything, thank God for the lightness of her filming this to take away, you know, to lessen the blow of the seriousness of your feelings, you know, and the despair. Like her presence alone takes, brings a little bit more light to the situation. Yeah.

We did a camera in your face. I'm like, can you, what are you feeling really? She's like, people aren't going to believe this shit when I have to listen to. So can I just use this at least? That's so great. Abby's like taking up a collection for herself every time she posts something like that. She's got a whole library. She's got an editor on her own.

She's like, can you get through this shit? Because I don't have time. There's not enough time in the day. But sister, what have you seen in your sister that has blown you open from her relationship with Abby? Just the audacity and the courage to go for it continues to blow me away because she was in, you know, all of her little baby ducks were in a row and it was a little bit, you know, they weren't ideal ducks, but they were still quite in a row. And she just went in and blew it all up to, on a hunch, by the way, on a hunch that it would be better. Like they weren't together. They weren't, she just had had this experience of meeting Abby.

And knowing that, she couldn't go back to be in her marriage that she knew was so much less than that. And so sometimes, frankly, it scares me because I'm a very logical thinker and not a feeler. And so I think all the time, what are all of us as I see them today, five years, six years later, what is the thing that seems absurd that none of us are doing? And how does that change the course of our lives? Because it seems impossible that they would not be who they are and living the life they have now. But actually, that was the least likely thing if you look back six years ago. So I just admire her courage and I admire her just presence and confidence in herself to be like, I understand this looks

ridiculous to everyone around me. It only matters that it doesn't feel ridiculous to me. I think that is always in the back of my mind. Yeah. We are going to take a quick break so you can hear an ad and then we'll be right back. Hey, y'all. I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls, and I'm thrilled to invite you to our January Jumpstart series for the third year running. All January, I'll be joined by inspiring guests who will help you I always tell people that when you buy a handbag, it doesn't cover a childhood scar. You know, when you buy a jacket, it doesn't reaffirm what you love about the hair you were told not to love. So when I think about beauty, it's so emotional because it starts to go back into the archives of who we were, how we want to see ourselves and who we know ourselves to be and who we can be. So a little bit of past, present and future, all in one idea, soothing

something from the past. And it doesn't have to be always an insecurity. It can be something that you love. All to help you start 2025 feeling empowered and ready. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really Know Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor.

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It's called Really? No, Really? And you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters.

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iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Good people. What's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people

who were the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they pave the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one

conversations, like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else, so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right?

Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rappaport. And my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything that catches my attention. I am here to call it as I see it. And there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days here's a clip from one of my favorite episodes you are not a real fighter

you will never be discussed anywhere in boxing history ever fake Paul the movie is The Apprentice, and the movie is about young Donald Trump and his apprentice, Roy Cohen. Real character, obviously, both are real characters. It kind of has a Scarface vibe to it, which I thought was very interesting. Listen to the I Am Rap Report Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts. Glennon, I've read and spoken to you firsthand to hear about your experience meeting Abby, but I've never heard Abby's version of it.

Would you mind sharing that with us? Sure. So I was releasing my first memoir, and I doubt that I'm going to write a second one. So I was releasing my memoir. I'm not like you people who like to write books. Did you know that Chelsea has six number one New York Times bestsellers? I know. That's how I introduce myself, you guys. I would. I would too. I ended up showing up late to this gathering that we were supposed to go do this book event to sell our books to the librarians of America. And we were going to go on stage, you got to say, you know, a little speech about what your book's about, so the

librarians will buy up your books. And I walked backstage, and I looked at the roster of like other authors who are going to be there. And I was struggling with alcoholism. I was like a month sober at the time. And I saw that she was a recovered alcoholic. And I was like, oh, that's super interesting. I want to talk to her. So when I walked into the room, all I see is this vision across the room just like standing up and like stretching her arms out

into a T. And by the way, this room is like really small. There was tables inside. People were eating. And so now this one person stands up in the other side of the room. And I'm like, well, now this is super awkward. I have to go greet this one person who's acknowledged me. Everybody else is just kind of like eating. And so I have to like scoot around the entirety of all of the other people who are eating, all the other authors. And we hug and I was like, wow, like something was different for sure. My blood pressure went up. I got like the little, you know, butterflies in my stomach. And then I couldn't get over the fact that I like wanted to sit next to her the whole time. And I got seated next to this like children's book author, which was like, he was great, but I was really wanted to sit next to Glennon.

And then when we found ourselves up on stage, we ended up sitting right next to each other. And that was wonderful because I was so nervous for some reason I couldn't really figure it out and then that night I went home and I read Love Warrior and I got to the end of Love Warrior and I was like what because we stayed together at the end what the fuck how can this be I like I shut the book It was like two o'clock in the morning. I was so pissed. I was like, oh my gosh. And then two days later, I got an email from Glennon. Yeah. I found her. I found her assistant. Well, her assistant came up to me at the little table in front of the thousand librarians, leaned over with tears in her eyes and said said I don't know what's happening right now but I feel like Abby needs you in her

life like all these weird ass things happen that night what a great assistant I know right everyone needs that that's your sister working your magic for you you know it's either your sister or your wingman like I don't know yeah well apparently it's your assistant too I hope my fucking assistant's listening to this yeah so I just like found her assistant's email and sent an email that I had written out for Abby and I wrote it with like lots of spiritual wisdom about recovery and everything but I think it was like my I don't think I for sure know that it was my way of being like hi would you like to start something but it was couched in a lot of of mentorship and friendship in the beginning right yes

and I was like yes I want to to be friends with you you're like I, I want to be friends with you. You're like, yes, I want to be mentored by you immediately. That's right. And in the letter, Glennon, did you write, did you acknowledge the book or the status of your situation? No. Because you were still with him, right? We were, yeah, absolutely. No, it was just all about recovery. And I do know when we look back at the email, subtly the first sentence is, I have never watched soccer before, maybe some guys games, but I'm really over men. Yeah. In the first like paragraph, I was like, oh, my like lesbian gaydar was like. It doesn't take a lot of gaydar, right?

To say, she just wrote, I'm over men. Yeah. Yeah. So subtle as usual. Little crack you can squeeze through there. Yeah. Yeah. And then we started emailing back and forth so much, just letters and letters and letters.

Oh, that's so much fun. Isn't it so much fun to be excited about an email and opening up an email when you're crushing on someone? It's like, it's the best zone in life. It's the best zone. You're like, wake up at five in the morning to see if there's anything there. Oh my God. Before coffee even. That's how you know. And then I don't know if you know this, but we didn't, I, we decided we were in love and told that to each other. All via email and text messages. Right.

So I told Craig that our marriage was over. We never were together again besides that first evening when we were just in the same room with a bunch of librarians. We were never together again until after I broke up my marriage, until I flew to you months and months later in LA. And it was the night of the ESPYs. But nobody knew if I had to wait back in a hotel room and she had to go do her ESPY thing where she got her and I got to watch her on the television. It was all very romantic, but I had never kissed a girl, never touched a girl, never. And I had broken up this marriage and we were starting this thing. And I had to go to a hotel room and be like, I guess we need to try this now.

I hope it works. Yeah. So I guess last night was the anniversary of our first sex. Yes. Sex anniversary. You've heard it now here first on Chelsea Handler. We can call it the 20th of July. I mean, it was like the first ever real sex for me, I feel like.

I was like, oh, I see what the hubbub is about. I love that you officially became a lesbian on the night of the ESPYs. That's so perfect! I mean, is there anything more perfect? First of all, my hand is on my arm is standing up because it's such a beautiful story for all three of you and for your whole family and everything you've created together is just so heartwarming and beautiful. And and it really does is such a strong reminder to people that your person is out there, you know, and when you have that feeling to not ignore that feeling. But people are always saying to me why I think it's so interesting. And I've been thinking about you nonstop, literally nonstop. But people always ask me, would you have – it's wonderful that you left your good enough and found your person because that was a courageous – and it was.

But would you have done that if there were no Abby? Would you have left your good enough if there was not something else to jump to? Yeah. Because for certain I had that knowing, right? That this isn't, this can't be all there is, that I was made for something different than this. And I don't think it's always better. It's not like, I don't think of settling as like, I'm a 10 and he's a four. And so I'm not going to settle. Settling is like, I know this isn't exactly right for me. And I'm doing it anyway, because I'm more afraid of being alone than I am of

being with the wrong person. Right? So anyway, I think it's a new thing to expect the more, want the more, want the right, and leave the what's not it even when there's nothing else to jump to. That's good. That's the most brave, amazing thing. And that's what I keep thinking about with you this week. Right, right. And I think that you would have done the same thing without Abby, even though

there's always, you know, sometimes we need a catalyst and that's what energy is and that's what magnetism is. You know, that's why things happen. That's why you can be in the middle of an airport in New Delhi and walk into a bathroom and somebody's walking out of a stall in the same exact moment that you went to high school with. And you bump right into them. It's like that's a magnetic thing that is supposed to happen because there's too many people in this world for that coincidence to happen on its own. You know what I mean? There's like a charge of electricity that we're all surrounded by. And, you know, the less in touch you are with that, you know, the less in touch you are with that, you know,

the less in touch you are with that. But when you realize like, oh, keep your eyes open, you know, looking at look, make sure you're always looking because you don't know what you're supposed to see, you know, and when you're supposed to see it. And accidents are just not accidents. You know, I mean, some of them are. I don't believe everything happens for a reason. And when people say that, I'm like, that's a little bit much. But a lot of things happen for a reason. A lot of things happen for a reason. Great title for a book. Several things.

Several things happen for a reason. I have to check and make sure that one's not taken. Okay, but I'm not going to let you off the hook, Glennon. You have to tell me what in Abby brings you the most joy. Joy. Sure. I mean, my life, sometimes when I walk into a place, I just told you this recently, and Abby has not been able to come to the thing, I feel like such a disappointment. I feel like the whole room's like looking behind me and is like, oh, hi. Like she's the joy. And she,

you know, last night we were sitting at our family at our dinner table and there was this moment, sister, I told you about this this morning, where Abby just started, she looked at our youngest and she started asking her like really pointed questions and it was about like drinking and like all these things. And I was like, okay, this is uncomfortable and weird and we shouldn't be talking about this. Just all my like, out of my comfort zone. We ended up having a two hour conversation where all three of these kids opened up in ways that they have never, I mean, it was like a family shifting conversation, would you agree?

Yes. She just has a way of making every single person she's talking to, whether they're 10 years old, 80 years old, whatever, feel completely seen, completely safe. And because of that, people open up to her in ways that you just, it's like I never knew people

before they sit down with her. And so because of that, every experience is better for even just people that are watching or hanging out, right? It's like, and then I don't know, she's just like, you know how they have those soda streamer things where you just like put the bubbles in? She's just like putting the bubbles in. I'm just always like the still water that's not true i i actually i have to push back a little bit because we talked about this on our walk the other day after our conversation with chelsea about her housekeepers and her her staff sitting her down and saying like you're our person that made me cry it made us we've talked we've been we've been non-stop

talking about it because i was like that's I feel. I feel like everybody loves you more and everybody only loves me because of us. No, you're the solar system that our little worlds revolve within. And the same with Chelsea. Yeah, that's what she said on the walk. That's the way it is. I love that.

I can totally relate to what you're saying, Glennon. I mean, but yeah, exactly. Everyone is their own. Well, we're all our own little galaxies. That's just the way it is. But, you know, when we can team up with another galaxy and work off of each other, like Abby, you said the other day, like a Venn diagram, that is where the magic comes in. Then it becomes a magical experience, not just a one-on-one.

And I think, you know, that gift that you have, Abby, of letting people be seen and heard, that's just so heartwarming to even hear about that because so many people don't feel that way. They don't feel seen. And as children, especially, you know, and they don't feel heard. And it's amazing what you can discover about the people who've been in your lives forever when somebody else has a different line of questioning. Yes.

Yes. Exactly. Exactly that. Well, on that note, Catherine, what do you have to say for yourself? Oh, my goodness. Well, we have an array of callers today. Tell us what we're in for. So many different things. A lot of these questions are, well, they're all in each of your wheelhouses, but a lot of them have really specific things that apply to, you know, the things each of you have written about.

And so I'm very excited to get some advice for these callers. We'll take a quick break and we'll be right back with callers. Okay. We're all going to take a virtual bath. Hey, y'all, I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls. And I'm thrilled to invite you to our January Jumpstart Series

for the third year running. All January, I'll be joined by inspiring guests who will help you kickstart your personal growth with actionable ideas and real conversations. We're talking about topics like building community and creating an inner and outer glow. I always tell people that when you buy a handbag, it doesn't cover a childhood scar.

You know, when you buy a jacket, it doesn't reaffirm what you love about the hair you were told not to love. So when I think about beauty, it's so emotional because it starts to go back into the archives of who we were, how we want to see ourselves, and who we know ourselves to be and who we can be. So a little bit of past, present and future, all in one idea, soothing something from the past. And it doesn't have to be always an insecurity.

It can be something that you love. All to help you start 2025 feeling empowered and ready. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer.

And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman.

And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500,

a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC.

Amanda Mull, who writes our Business Week Buying Power column. Very few companies who go viral are like totally prepared for what that means. And Zoe Tillman, senior legal reporter. Courts are not supposed to decide elections. Courts are not really supposed to play a big role in choosing our elected leaders. It's for the voters to decide. Follow the Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got

something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations. Like I'm Pete Peel chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow,

Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out. All right. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Rappaport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything that catches my attention. I am here to call it as I see it, and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days.

Here's a clip from one of my favorite episodes. You are not a real fighter. You will never be discussed anywhere in boxing history, ever. Fake Paul. The movie is The Apprentice, and the movie is about young Donald Trump

and his apprentice, Roy Cohen. Real character, obviously. Both are real characters. It kind of has a Scarface vibe to it, which I thought was very interesting. Listen to the I Am Rap Report Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

and wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Great. I can't believe you two snuck into Los Angeles and didn't let me know. What the fuck is that about? When did you move to? We've been here for a year. We'll talk about that at another time.

That was like a pandemic move. That sounds like a slight. You've been in love. I know. I know. You know, it's like time consuming. Love is kind of a big deal. I know it is. It's very like time consuming. Love is kind of a big deal. I know.

It is. It's very time consuming. I have a lot of free time now. So hit me up. Great. Perfect. Now enter us. Perfect.

Well, our first question comes from Alex. Alex says, do we get married or save the money? Dear Chelsea, my name's Alex. I'm a gay man living in Western Pennsylvania. Please stop introducing yourself as gay men. There are no straight men writing into this show, okay? No one needs to say you're gay. Okay, let's continue.

My favorite is when people will be like, I'm a male or I'm a female. Like, we can just say, like, guy or gal. That's fine. It doesn't have to be so medical. I'm 29 years old and work as a real estate agent. I've been with my partner Johnny for almost seven years. He's kind, patient, and truly my best friend. Almost four years ago, I proposed to Johnny while on a cruise.

I was planning on a nice dinner and an elaborate show of affection, but I was so excited that as soon as we got on the ship, I took him to the bow, got on one knee, and he said yes. Johnny and I live in a beautiful lake community and are very fortunate to have purchased our home before the market went crazy. Needless to say, buying a simple home was extremely exciting for us. We've delayed planning a wedding for some time. We love slowly putting money into our home and enjoying life. We're also not picturing a traditional wedding. Growing up, we were both raised in Christian households, so never in our wildest dreams did we think that we could be able to get married and live out and proud as we are. We both feel it's silly to spend thousands of dollars on one day and don't have the means to commit that much money. We both feel that a non-traditional,

fun wedding is what we want anyway. We continuously toss around the idea of a destination wedding, but are afraid that it would put a financial stress on our families and friends. They're continuously asking us when we're getting married and wonder why we're delaying a good thing when clearly we want to be together forever. Should we have a destination wedding with family and friends in Mexico, despite some not being able to attend? Or should we continue to invest money into our home, delay the wedding, and hopefully return on our investment all the best alex well this is a serious financial question yeah i love it okay love it you take it go abby i mean get married in your backyard have all your guests bring some food potluck that shit like you'll be done and done like it'll be beautiful like the thing about for me i've had two weddings now and i did the destination wedding first go around

flew my whole family out there was a big hullabaloo for fucking nothing what a waste of money and then you know we just like we just completely did it totally differently and i don't know i i think of our marriage now like we we talk about it it's like this is second marriage shit like we have learned stuff that we're bringing into the second marriage and the wedding is about the love it's not about where you're doing it. It's not about. And they love their home. They love their home. Do it in your home.

They mentioned their home 12 times. Home, backyard, potluck. Backyard, potluck. And then when you're making the list, this is what we did. Okay, we wrote down, we had like everybody we love or something. Everybody we love. And there was like 150 people on it. And then we were like, okay, now we got to take it to everybody we love and like. And then there was like 150 people on it and then we were like okay now now we got to take it to

everybody we love and like and then there was like 40 people and also one of them one of them was we both had to know everybody yes that came we didn't want any strangers there so that took it down quite a bit yeah and then it was everybody we like love and trust yeah and we ended up having 20 people and it was 20 people And it was the freaking best. And there was no stress. And there was not a million bazillion details. And sister, remember when you came and how calm we actually were? It was eerie.

It was so weird. And this was what they said. I was freaking out because nothing was done. It was nothing. They were like, we were all getting together just for like a beach weekend. Well, it was spirit and body. All right? We needed our mind.

No. Mind had not been applied to the template yet. And she and Glennon just said, you know what? We've decided it's not going to be perfect so we can be happy. We are going to be happy so it will be perfect. Wow. That is a great way because nothing's ever going to be perfect. And if you're waiting, if your happiness is contingent on it being perfect, you will always be very, very sad. But if you just decide that you're happy and therefore it will be perfect, that's a nice way to do it.

I'm going to write that down for my book. Yes, write it down for some things happen for a reason. That can be your epitaph. I would like to one up what these girls all say and say, have a blowout in your backyard, have a great, big, fun, casual affair in your backyard, have a great, big, fun, casual affair in your backyard, just like these two had. As many people as you want. You can have 20, you can have 60, whatever you guys are down with.

You want to celebrate with your whole family and invite 100 people, go for it. And then take that Mexico trip, just the two of you as your honeymoon. Just go away together and then celebrate your love alone together. That is where love should be celebrated. You're not on parade for everybody. You don't have to have a big show of a wedding. I think everyone who goes to a wedding appreciates so much more the genuine vibe of two people and being happy for them. You know, absolutely not. No one likes a formal. I mean, some people like a formal affair, but these guys don't sound like they do. And I don't think anybody here that is you don't want to be a presentation. You want to be a celebration. Let me write that down. Yeah.

We're just like writing Chelsea's book. We're going to be at chapter two by the next question. This is great. Oh my God. Presentation celebration. But at home, you can be absolutely yourself. You can make it so much more about who the two of you are rather than, you know, the same chairs everybody used for their last wedding at some location, the same flowers the last person had. Make it exactly you. Yeah. Absolutely. You could just pick one thing that you and johnny love about the a wedding generally like what's your one thing and then just do that like for our i also had two weddings and i very much recommend that people have two weddings because the second one you get to just everyone says says like, what? You're not

inviting? You're inviting one uncle and not the other uncle? And you just get to say, oh, it's a second wedding. And everyone's like, oh, I guess you can do whatever the hell you want. But my favorite thing about weddings is the night before the rehearsal dinner and the toasts. And so we just said our whole wedding is going be that we're just doing the actual wedding night we're doing whoever wants to give a toast does it and it was so special because that was my favorite part of anybody's wedding except when sister you got up and spoke first at our wedding and you did so good that everybody else was so scared to stand up after my family was like nope not me not gonna follow that shit yeah most beautiful wedding toast i've ever heard oh i would love

to hear that that sounds great you can put it in your book chelsea chapter five would you mind actually sending me a link so i can add that to my book? Yeah. A lot of things happen for a reason. Also, I guess our advice is for both of you to get married once before and then do this. Make sure that is an addendum. Excellent. To each other, even. To each other. Well, our next question comes from Katie.

Katie says, Dear Chelsea, I tend to want to get intimate with a man after three to four great dates and then end up getting ghosted. If I feel a connection with a guy, it's utter BS that I can't explore that intimacy without looking like a slut after a few great dates. I end up feeling tricked and also disappointed in my own self-destruction the one to two times a year I actually like a guy. I'm on a year's sabbatical from alcohol, and one of my goals this year was to not sleep with guys so early. But recently, I did get more intimate after the third date with a guy I was really excited about, and he had seemed excited about me. I'd love to hear your advice and thoughts on this topic as a fellow openly sexual woman. It may just be that I need to learn to control myself more and hold out longer to see if a guy wants to stick around, but sex is important to me, and the double standard drives

me insane. For context, I'm a 30-year-old single woman who's never been in a relationship. I date a lot, but feel this self-destruction I cause myself around date 3, 4, 5 is likely why I've never had a relationship. This most recent guy I think might be the final straw to break the cycle. I'm sad about what almost was, disappointed in myself for feeding into desires in the moment and looking like someone I'm not to men who might have wanted a relationship with me otherwise. Thoughts, Katie. Hi, Katie. Oh my God. Hi, Katie. Oh, this is a real life situation. She's a real deal. We have so many people for here to talk to you today.

I'm so excited. So the Glennon and Abby and Amanda say hello to Katie. They're our guests today. And Catherine you've spoken to. So nice to see your pretty smiling face. Thank you. Okay. So this is a perfect question for all of us, I think, except Abby. So, I mean, listen, I understand you're being sober for a year. Like, I think

that's probably, you know, that you knew yourself well enough that that needed to happen. I don't have a lot of judgment about sexual behavior. I think there's probably behavior that's coming along with that sexual behavior that's coupled together that you might not be aware of. That's kind of sabotaging whatever you're trying to accomplish, which it sounds like you really want a loving relationship, right? Yeah, I do. So let's talk about that. Like what happens around date three or four for you? I truly, this is what I'm struggling with understanding is I seem to have a trend of being love bombed and then ghosted. Just like future talk, let's, I'd love to help you

move furniture, let's get coffee, and then it's a full ghost. So I've played around with the idea of like, maybe I'm attracted to narcissists that are very good at tricking me, but I'm also aware of that the constant in these is me. So this year I've been trying to turn the mirror on myself and figure it out. So I don't know if that answers your question. Well, no, I think, well, in part it does because good for you because that it does sound like a type of person. What's that book attachment? Yeah. Attached. I actually just bought that. I haven't read it yet. Yeah. That's all about avoidance, anxious, attracting the same kind of person. And you have to just disrupt the pattern. You know what I mean? You have to disrupt that pattern because

that is a you thing. Yeah. The love bombing is a narcissistic thing. People love bomb, love bomb, love bomb, and then pull away and withhold. Right? So, I mean, when you're looking inward, you sound like you're already on the right track to figuring this out for yourself. It's just going to take, in my experience, you really have to take the weight off of dating somebody that early on. Like you have to take the weight off of yourself to try to make this and predict the future and make it something permanent. Because really that is what that beginning nascent period is about, is about falling in love, flirting, and getting to know who a person really is. And sometimes that doesn't come to the fore right away. You know, sometimes that could happen six months down the road. You think you know somebody and then all of a sudden you're like, wait, what's going on here? So,

I mean, I feel like you're already on your way to doing the work and I don't want you to tie your identity up with being valued by some guy that you barely know. Like who gives a shit if somebody doesn't call you back after three or four dates? His loss. Now, next, what's up next? You know? Yeah. What do you girls think? Katie, do you have a religious background or something? I mean, I grew up Jewish, but that's more cultural than religious. Because there just seems to be so much like inner, you seem to be so judgmental of yourself about having sex at all. Is that something you feel? No, I think it's that. I mean, Chelsea's right. I've done a lot of work this year,

and I'm really proud of who I've become and it's still just not working out. You know, I do know, I do know what's sobriety been like for you. This is the first year is often fresh hell. So here's what I'll say. I don't think I had a drinking problem. I wanted to reestablish my relationship. So I've kind of been drinking like a pregnant lady. I have sips here and there. I'm mostly sober. I still smoke. I still do mushrooms, but I just, and I, I have reestablished my relationship, but I just kind of want to finish up the year and dating sober has been awesome. Like telling a guy I'll get drinks with you, but you know, I'm going to get a mocktail and watching guys be like, well, let's go for a hike or let's go to the park or really just seeing that has been great. So I may continue to not do drinks as the first date

to really spend that sober time with someone. But I guess I'm just reeling back from like partying, drinking or happy hour, three days a week, all of that stuff that's cultural in our society. Mm hmm. It sounds like you're maturing a little bit. And the way that I am hearing it is it's got to be a change in the perspective of not just like who you're attracted to, but what about them? Like, what about that attraction? What is that saying about me? What am I needing in this person who over time, I know that this keeps happening. They keep love bombing and then ghosting me. Maybe like date somebody that is totally opposite of what you've normally dated before. Maybe go down that route.

Like a woman, Katie. I'll never say never. I've thought about it so much and I just don't think yet, but you know what? Who knows? Yeah, seriously, who does know? Nobody. I never say never. Nobody. But I also want to say what you said was it's not happening. You're making all these changes and you're expecting to see the results of those changes. That is A, number one. That doesn't happen when you want it to happen. The results of your efforts and the work that you put into yourself doesn't show up at the end of that work. It shows up way later and in phases and in phases. And then again later, and you're like, oh shit, you're constantly relearning what you've already learned. And then you have to apply it to your life over and over again. And then by repetition, your life becomes different.

That's right. And I also just feel like it's so sad that there's just culturally so pervasive this idea that there's an exchange of value in sexuality. Like what I hear you saying, Katie, is what I want, what's a value to me is a meaningful relationship where someone continues to show up with a real connection. And what I presume to be a value to them is sex because after they've retrieved that value from me, they go away.

And so there's a real reason that you feel that way because our world is built around the idea that women's value is in their sexuality and therefore they lose value, they lose their virginity. So I just think if it's possible to really think about that for a second and think about what if that wasn't your value? What if you just took the currency of sex out and say, when I want sex and when I want pleasure, I'm going to get that. That is a separate thing from this relationship structure where I am going, what I want over there is someone for a real connection. And those things can parallel track. But it isn't that your currency is beyond your sexuality.

And I think by cultivating and bringing to the forefront, realizing what really believing in your currency, being your brain and your spirit and what you're doing with yourself, then that value will come to the forefront. And you what will be attracted to you is the people who value that currency. But go ahead and get some over here if that's what you're looking for. Damn, sister. Amen, sister. Amen. Great fucking advice. Yes. Chelsea, did you get that? Oh, I got it. I fucking got it. Are you kidding

me? First of all, I mean, that is so well said and just so poignant because it's so true. It's like of course don't deprive yourself of sex. I'm so sick of that too. And judging ourselves like, no, you can't judge yourself. yourself of sex. Like, I'm so sick of that too, you know? And judging ourselves. Like, no, we can't judge yourself.

Isn't it chase? Yeah, you want to get some out? I don't want to be chased for two months. I want to have sex with you. Yes, exactly. I don't need to do this like eight days. I want to feel your penis and feel if it feels good inside me. Do it earlier.

The pretend chase. Oh, I'm going to pretend like I'm not going to have sex with you. So you can tell, oh, now we're going to have sex. Done with that. Just go get what you want. I'm 30 years old. We've gone to dinner three times. We've done fun things.

We enjoy each other. Let's see if this, because sometimes you have sex and you're like, oh, God, no. Exactly. Really? That's why it's important to get it out of the way right away to see if there's anything else to fucking talk about. You know? Like, I always like to have sex immediately

because if your penis doesn't work with my Pikachu, then we don't have anything to say anyway, you know, into some sick shit. I want to know about that too. You know, I don't want to find out later that like, you're going to expecting me to put a ball gag in my mouth or some shit. I'm not down with that. So it's important, you know, for a lot of reasons, but I think for your own sexual health, like, you know, and psychologically, I think what she said is so right on for you. Like, you need to go out there and empower yourself and know that that's not attached to your value at all. And the guy that is going to be the guy for you isn't going to give a shit whether or not you have sex with him on the first date or the third date. Yeah, that's right.

And also, is anyone worried about Katie? No. No. No one's worried about you. You're just like full of joy and transparency and presence and you're precious as the day is long. And so just don't worry. Just do what sister said. I think she said have sex and then don't worry about it. Parallel tracks. Is that what you said basically?

Yeah. Parallel tracks. Do that. Parallel tracks. Choo choo. You could be on your date and then you could go meet somebody for sex after your date. You could have all sorts of activities lined up. Yes. Sounds great to me. If it helps at all, my husband was a first date and here we are 16 years later. High five. Yeah, there we go. Love that. I mean, technically, so were Abby and Glennon. That's right.

The first time they were ever together after they met. I feel like that's also a trend. I know like 10 people who have said I slept with my husband on the first date. So maybe I should just be sleeping on the first date instead of the third. Or just throw out any rules around any of it. You know what I mean? Just throw out rules and paradigms and just do what you feel you should be doing in the moment. You're clear headed right now. You know, you have a clarity of mind. Use it. Use your instinct.

You know when to do something and when not to do something, you know. So just trust yourself a little bit more and you're going to be fine, Katie. Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate it. Thanks for calling. Keep us posted. Bye. Bye, Katie. Bye. She's so cute. She's like, who the fuck are Glenn and Abby and Amanda?

She's like, can I have my money back? I thought I was just talking to Chelsea. Wouldn't it be great if we charged people? Oh my God, that's a great revenue stream.

Why don't these producers keep talking? Who needs ads? Yeah, I don't need to read any more ads for fucking BetterHelp. I'm going to start charging callers. That's the way forward. Best help. Best help.

Yeah. That's the way to put my best foot forward. Well, our next call is from A. And Brad, do we have A on the line? She came back. Yep. We're good to go. Okay, great. A was having some technical difficulties and Brad over here was texting me and he said, oh, she dropped off. I said, well, yeah, she's having issues. He goes, isn't that why they're all writing in? Almost lost it. Good job, Brad. You know what? Before

we get to this call, let's take a really quick break. And we'll be right back with Glennon, Abby, Amanda, and Chelsea. Hey, y'all. I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls. And I'm thrilled to invite you to our January Jumpstart Series for the third year running. All January, I'll be joined by inspiring guests who will help you kickstart your personal growth with actionable ideas and real conversations. We're talking about topics like building community and creating an inner and outer glow.

I always tell people that when you buy a handbag, it doesn't cover a childhood scar. You know, when you buy a jacket, it doesn't reaffirm what you love about the hair you were told not to love. So when I think about beauty, it's so emotional because it starts to go back into the archives of who we were, how we want to see ourselves and who we know ourselves to be and who we can be. It's a little bit of past, present and future all in one idea, soothing something from the past. And it doesn't have to be always an insecurity. It can be something that you love. All to help you start 2025 feeling empowered and ready. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer.

We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's gonna drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome

to Really No Really, sir. God bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, no really. Yeah, really. No really.

Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC.

Amanda Mull, who writes our Business Week buying power column. Very few companies who go viral are, like, totally prepared for what that means. And Zoe Tillman, senior legal reporter. Courts are not supposed to decide elections. Courts are not really supposed to play a big role in choosing our elected leaders. It's for the voters to decide. Follow the Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Good people, what's up?

It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who were the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing

one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Peel chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else, so make sure you go back and

you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. happy holidays from me michael rapaport and my gift to you is a free subscription to the i am rapaport stereo podcast where i discuss entertainment sports politics and anything and everything that catches my attention i am here to call it as i see it and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Here's a clip from one of my favorite episodes. You are not a real fighter. You will never be discussed anywhere in boxing history ever.

Fake Paul. The movie is The Apprentice. And the movie is about young Donald Trump and his apprentice, Roy Cohen. Real character, obviously, both are real characters. It kind of has a Scarface vibe to it, which I thought was very interesting. Listen to the I Am Rap Report Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts. Well, A says, Dear Chelsea, I'm fearful about moving back to my home city, somewhere I really want to live, because it means I will almost certainly have to face someone who I've been successfully able to avoid for almost 20 years, someone who used to abuse me as a child.

I am in therapy for this, and while I still have a lot of work to do, my day-to-day is not significantly impacted by the terrible things they did to me. That being said, I'm feeling very anxious about the possibility of seeing them when I move home, and it's tainting my excitement about being back in a city I really want to live in again. This person is in my extended family, and I've never told a single other family member, only close friends, and my therapist, about what they did to me. I'm anticipating having to navigate more holidays and other family get-togethers with this person because we'll be so geographically close after decades of not seeing them. My family is very small, and I'm afraid it would completely sever the family.

There are people close to my abuser who I do care for. I feel so torn. While one side of me finally wants to come out with all of it, the other side of me wants to just try to continue to avoid situations where this person will be, even if it makes me look like a bad family member. I have also considered writing my abuser an email telling them that if we're ever in a situation where we have to be in the same place in the future, to not talk to me or engage with me. Am I just keeping the peace for everyone else's protection and comfort? How would you come out with news like this?

And if I decide to keep this to myself for a bit longer, how would you go about gracefully avoiding family situations where this person will be in attendance, especially during holidays like Christmas where I can't really blame it on work? If I eventually get stuck having to attend a function where this person will be, would you confront them? Sincerely, A. Oh, God. Hi, A. Hi. Hi, A. Hi, everyone. Hi. So nice to meet you all. This is amazing.

I know. It's a huge support group for you. Yeah, so many people. Thank you for having me. Oh, well, thank you. Thanks for calling in. I'm delighted that you did. Okay. So let's talk. What, uh, we're talking about sexual abuse.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Girls, Glennon, I know you have a little bit of experience with this. Discussing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you want to take the lead on this and I'll follow up? Okay. If you're comfortable with that. One of the things I thought of right away was, first of all, A, I'm so sorry. I think that one of the possible reasons that you're feeling so much fear and anxiety is because, of course, this is taking you right back to being a kid and not having any way to protect yourself. Right. And so that is not what's happening right now. Okay. So you're returning as an adult. Okay. So you are going to be able to protect yourself. You do get to do things that nobody did for you as a kid.

And you do get to use your voice and you do get to make yourself safe. And one of the ways, there's several ways that you could do that, right? There's no way that you're going to not be safe. We have to figure out, you have to figure out how to reenter this situation in a way where you have built what your little self did not have. Right. But I think there are many different ways. One thing to know is that when there is a sexual abuser in a family, there's usually not only one victim. Every time somebody is certain that they are the only victim in a family, it very rarely is. Okay. So when you say, if I tell the truth, it will sever my family. What you need to know is that your family is

already severed. Okay. Your family, that's not, you're not protecting a whole healthy family right now. You're protecting a family where you have been severed. So if you do decide to bring the one part of life that protects us, which is truth, to this situation, you very well might be saving somebody else in your family who then gets to come forward and say, me too, and me too, and this is how this works. So when you think about taking the ideal future scenario for this extremely less than ideal situation, what does that look like? If you weren't afraid of anything, of any consequence, of anybody's feelings, If anybody, what would it look like to step back into this and have your ideal outcome? I think it would be kind of a

combination of things, both a confrontation where I feel like I'm the person with the power and in control. Yep. Also telling a few family members, maybe not everyone in the family, but a few who are particularly close to me. And then I don't know, some sort of maybe a strange, that sounds forgiveness in the sense that I just want to let it all go. And that may feel best for me, but not until confrontation and some truth. Because there's a process, right? Forgiveness can't happen until we've reestablished the boundary that was crossed, right? We cannot feel forgiveness at all. It doesn't come because forgiveness comes with safety.

You will never, ever feel forgiveness until you have done what you need to do to make yourself safe. Are there people, is there someone in your family that you would start with? Probably my siblings. Even my brother. My one brother doesn't know. And then probably my parents. But then it just seems like I couldn't tell my parents without them having to tell some other people. It just seems like a never ending sort of trickle down stream situation. Which is not your responsibility. Just the fact that you would be starting that drop of water does not make you responsible for the waterfall that happens.

The person that's responsible for that is the person that hurt you. All of the things that are impacting you, I think you said, I just want to let it all go. And I think it's important to just take a moment and identify and mourn all that you have had to carry because of this. You're a person who was hurt so much so early, could not tell your parents, could not tell your siblings. You were carrying that burden and that secret as a kid, and you undoubtedly brought it into other relationships. Undoubtedly, that's an integral part of why you're not living in the place where you want to live right now, because you alone are carrying the burden of someone else's actions. Everybody else is acting the way they always have. They gave it to you to carry and now you have it. And that is just deeply, deeply unfair. And you changing the status quo is not you causing a problem for

that family. That family has already has a major problem and you're just the only one who's been carrying it. And that's just, I don't have a solution for it, but it is deeply, deeply tragic that you have carried that and that you still view this as your problem that you have to solve when it was never your problem. It was somebody else's the whole time. And I also think like, A, this is your story and you give him power by withholding it. You're giving that person the power and the protection by withholding your story. You're not trying to blow your family up, but this is your truth. And you can't be responsible for what happens when you share your truth because the family members that love you and know you are going to be with you and are going to be horrified

by what happened. Hopefully, you know, that would be the normal reaction. And I think that you're suffering by not telling the closest people to you at the very least, but you definitely don't owe this whole family and, you know, relative in community, anything but the truth. This is your truth. You are suffering by yourself. You know, yes, you've told some friends and I'm sure you've been to therapy at some point, right? Yep. Okay, good. That's great. But you're only protecting him. You know, you're protecting him. I mean, you're going to have a

huge catharsis by even sharing this with your brothers or your sisters or your siblings. That's going to be, maybe might be even enough. You'll never know until you do it, but you should do that at the very minimum. Talk to your brothers and sisters. You have close relationships with them. You can trust them. They will be there for you. And if you, if you guys all decide together that it's too much for your parents or whatever, fine. But I bet you it's probably not. You know what I mean? It's, this is your story. This is not for you to suffer alone. That's not fair because somebody did something to you that you carry it with you and protect him. That's the dynamic of what's happening, you know?

And you have every right to not want to be in the presence of him ever again. Why should you ever have to face that person when he violated you? You shouldn't. And your family should know that. That's how I feel. You're not a burden, eh?

You aren't a burden. And I think so much of what we try to protect our family from, we feel like it's a protection mechanism for them, but really it's a blockage of connection. And I think that your family would prefer to know you fully, truly. They know something. Families know. We all think that the truth will destroy our family, but it's always the secrets that destroy families. Because trauma, these stories, they're passed down generation to generation, even when they're not spoken, right? Secrets in families affect

everybody. We know something's up. We know something's up. And then the truth is revealed and suddenly things make sense. It might hurt, but things make sense. And we are more connected. I mean, my friend Liz said to me at one point when I was deciding whether or not to tell a truth to my family that was going to blow everything up, she said, every truth you tell is a kindness, even if it makes other people uncomfortable. And every truth you don't tell is an unkindness, even if it keeps everybody comfortable. Right? Because the truth moves everybody forward, even when it upsets everybody first. But also, A, you don't owe anybody the truth either. You don't owe anybody a goddamn thing. The only thing that you owe is to yourself and your safety and your health. And if you decide

that not sharing this is what is going to keep you safe and healthy and you know that is the truth, you don't owe anybody a goddamn thing. You are supposed to take care of you. And so if you think your family at the end of the day is not trustworthy of this, is going to weaponize this against you, is going to gaslight and confuse things, you don't owe them that either. Like you just have to know that you are doing what you need to do and you're not paying the price by staying away from that town where you want to live in order to keep everybody there comfortable. Yeah, those are all great points. I think I need to reflect a little bit more because I do see this fork of decisions and I'm still stuck at the base of which feels right to me, whether it is coming out with everything and potentially losing even some people close to him

that I do like and care for. They probably wouldn't stay in my life either. Or like you were saying, keeping it to myself because it feels safer for me. I'm still stuck at that base of the fork. And I think I just need to keep reflecting on what feels best. Yeah. Well, I know you told me on our pre-interview that the move is set in place, and I think it's happening in a few weeks. So I would just say, don't put yourself in any positions to make any decisions or have to have those conversations until you're ready, even if you're in town, even if everybody wants to have a big party for you, you know, take the time that you need.

And let me ask you one more question. A, do you, what does it look like to you? Like when you think about revealing this to your family members, like what does that look like to you? Does that scare the shit out of you? Does that feel like it does? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, not so much my siblings, but my parents, absolutely. And then ultimately some of the other family members that would need to know. Yeah, it's, it's, I don't even know where to start except for with my siblings. And I guess it is maybe one step at a time. Definitely one step at a time. That's definitely how you have to test the waters, you know, because I know that if my sister was going through something like this and didn't tell me, I would be devastated. You know, I would be so upset. So I know if you have a close

relationship with your siblings like that is the place to start. And to remember what Glennon said, you know, you're probably not the only victim in this scenario. And that's something to consider also. What do you all think about confronting him? I mean, I'll go first. Who cares about him? You know what I mean? I care about you. You're going to say all the things that you wanted to say, like you're talking to a doormat, in my opinion. He doesn't even deserve your time. I care more about how you're going to walk through this feeling secure and safe at every family gathering that you go to. And a confrontation while, you know, we can all fantasize about the thing we're going to say. You're not going to change somebody, you know, you're not going to change him or make him see the light.

I mean, who knows? He's probably he could be scared shitless that you're moving back. You know, he might be like, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. But like confronting him, if it's therapeutic for you, like, how do you feel about that? What do you think when you think of that? What would you say? It does feel therapeutic, but it could also be just as therapeutic

to write a very long letter that I never send. But there is a sense of me that wants to have this sort of almost face-to-face, this is what you've put me through type of interaction. then go for it. But if your interaction, you imagine him saying or doing something that then leaving that would make you feel more vulnerable or upset than before you went in, then I think being really honest with yourself that everything you have to say has no relation to how he might respond. Right. Because the most likely response is going to be gaslighting and denying. I think a therapist, a trained therapist in this way will probably have really good answers here on what the best script is to talk to your family about and how to talk to your

family about this. I think that that would be really helpful to like workshop that with a therapist. And I don't know what it's like to be you in this circumstance. And you just have to make the call about confronting this dude. Hey, do you have one person in your family that could be your closest ally in this? Is there one sibling that you could start with? Yes. My brother. Maybe that's the next straight thing is the one, and then it's the two of you, right? Making the next steps together, because this can't be just you and the waterfall, right? Like slowly one brother, maybe, and then figuring out the

first sentence you're going to say. That's probably the one person in the one sentence is where i would start okay i think i think that's right i think that's right i think you should at least reach out to one person because i can see the heaviness in you you know you're carrying this too much of this on your own and family is meant to share, share the grief, the pain, the love and the joy. All of it is supposed to be spread evenly throughout all of our lives and all the people in your life. Are you in a relationship? No, not anymore. Okay. Well, yeah, I think that you should really strongly consider talking to your brother as your first move. And I think you're going to be really surprised with how therapeutic that's

going to be for you. I can see you're in pain and you have every right to be, and there's no reason to suffer through that by yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Your family can't come alongside you and lift you up until they know. So just that one step is, is all you need to think about right now okay we're with you eh

thank you so much hey will you keep us posted and let us know what happens please whenever you do it you know no rush obviously but whatever happens let us know check in with us okay yep i definitely will so grateful for all of you thank. I'll be thinking about you. It was great to meet you. Bye. Bye. What a sweetheart. Oh my God, you guys. I hate to see people that are suffering the heaviness in the, you know, all of it is just like palpable. And I know her brother's going to be there for her, obviously. You know, I can understand not wanting to tell your parents because some parents aren't going to be able to deal with that at all, you know, and the blame game and all of that things that go with it. But your siblings, if you have a close relationship with your siblings, like that is they first stop.

So, yeah, hopefully we will hear back from her at some point about her taking her power back. One of the strangest things was the week that she wrote in, I had an almost identical email from someone else as well. It just was so interesting. We haven't gotten a question really like that before. And then in the same, within two days, I think, to almost identical, like I'm moving back to my hometown, my abuser is there. And I told A that, and she was like, wow, it actually makes me feel so much better to know I'm not the only one going through this, that there's someone else who even wrote in, you know? Yeah. She also might want to consider getting into, I just thought of this, getting into a support group.

Yeah, absolutely. Support groups. I mean, we're big support group people. And nowadays, like everything is online. You can get on Zoom, you can turn the video off and you can just listen to a lot of support groups online. You can get on Zoom. You can turn the video off and you can just listen to a lot of support groups online. Yeah. I kept thinking about secrets and like, it's just so, whatever the secret is, you know, if A only ends up with a truthful, honest relationship with that one sibling, that's enough. Right? We actually don't freaking need our whole families to put up. We don't need, most of us don't have that. And it's a rare family that is healthy enough to handle that well. Anything well.

Yes. Handle Christmas well, much less that. Right. Right. And also having that teammate, like you guys said, you know, having that teammate, you like, once you tell one person, then it's the two of you, you're not by yourself navigating. You've got another set of eyes and another set of ears looking out for you as well. And that feeling is so much less isolating than what you must be feeling now thinking about going back. Yeah, for sure.

Well, we'll take a quick break right now and be right back after this little break. Hey, y'all. I'm Dr. Joy Harnen Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls. And I'm thrilled to invite you to our January Jumpstart series for the third year running. All January, I'll be joined by inspiring guests who will help you kickstart your personal growth with actionable ideas and real conversations. We're talking about topics like building community and creating an inner and outer glow. I always tell people that when you buy a handbag, it doesn't cover a childhood scar. You know, when you buy a jacket, it doesn't reaffirm what you love about the hair you were told not to love. So when I think about beauty, it's so emotional because it starts to go back into the archives of who we were, how we want to see ourselves and who we know ourselves to be and who we can be. So a little bit of past, present, and future, all in one idea, soothing something from the past.

And it doesn't have to be always an insecurity. It can be something that you love. All to help you start 2025 feeling empowered and ready. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really Know Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer.

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Follow the Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen good people what's up it's questo quest love and uh team supreme and i've been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of quest love supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss now one of the things i love about this quest love supreme podcast is we got something for everybody every type of musical we enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen

behind the scenes and they pave the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland, sugar Steve up with hitmaker Sam Hollander, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe,

and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else, so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, alright? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapoport, and my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rapoport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything

that catches my attention. I am here to call it as I see it, and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Here's a clip from one of my favorite episodes. You are not a real fighter. You will never be discussed anywhere in boxing history. Ever. Fake Paul. The movie is The Apprentice and the movie is about young Donald Trump and his apprentice, Roy

Cohen. Real character, obviously. Both are real characters. It kind of has a Scarface vibe to it, which I thought was very interesting. Listen to the I Am Rap Report stereo podcast on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Well, I'm not sure how you want to do this, but we usually have our guests. We see if they would like any advice from Chelsea. Okay, Sissy.

I got some too. Damn it to hell. We all have questions. Yeah, Sissy, you go first. Go. Is yours going to be about weed? Oh, no, but can we have someone ask that? Okay.

Yeah, I will. I don't know if Chelsea will have an answer though. It's tricky. I can't believe you weren't going to ask about weed. Okay, go ahead. Okay, because you said a couple of things on our podcast a couple days ago that I can't stop thinking about, Chelsea. You described this personal evolution that has improved your relationships and your life.

And you said you used to have this perspective that if someone disagreed with you, they didn't know what they were talking about until they agreed with you. And then you would explain to them some more truths, which I understand on a cellular level because that is a little bit how I am. But then you moved away from that to be more bendable. But then later on in the pod, you said,

you have a very strong relationship with telling the truth, even if it hurts. And that's something you're not willing to modify because it's part of who you are. And my question is, how do we determine whether our truth that we're feeling is part of the first bucket, this kind of unevolved intransigence, the way you described it, or the second bucket, which is like, this is an important part of my character and I need to hold on to it for my own integrity. How can you tell the difference? Well, I think when you have a need to be right all the time, it's because you're not listening. When you're telling the truth, it's because you've listened,

you know what I mean? And you've heard. So I think the two things, while they can be confusing and sound for people and be like, yeah, I could do that. I could go to a shopping mall in the middle of the day, Jo Koy. Of course. I mean, I'm from New Jersey, so it's a bit too soon. But sure, I'll go to a fucking shopping mall because it brings you joy. You know, I can bend a little. And do you know what I'm saying? But I'm not going to change the core character of who I am. I can change my actions. And yes, telling people the truth in a loving way, not yelling at them and going, why don't you listen to me? I mean, saying it in a fair handed way. Like this is the truth of the situation. Always being available for that. So I think the two are kind of different in that way,

if I explain that well. I love that. So Chelsea's going to go to the mall. She's going to go to the mall. She's going to bend. She's going to go to the mall. But as she's walking through the mall, she's going to be saying, I fucking hate this mall.

Oh, my God. The truth is malls are trash. I've listened and I'm here. I'm going to say, yeah, I'll go through the mall. Here's a great example. Joe's birthday party. I threw him a birthday party in Vegas when we were together. It was a three day bonanza.

I do not like to go to Vegas. We went, I had activities like two a day. We had dune buggying for everybody. It's like a hundred people or whatever it ended up being. We, and we went dune bugging and I don't have enough sports bras for that activity. And I, I, we were, Joe and I were dune bugging and he's like, God, you're amazing that you're out here doing this. And he's like, are you having a good time? I go, absolutely not. You know, but I'll go, I'm not going to bitch and moan, but I'm going to be honest about it.

I'm not going to pretend I'm having a good time when I'm miserable, wondering like what is going to happen to my body after I get out of that dune buggy. You know, like where did my boob go? Because it's no longer attached to the front of me. Also a really stupid activity. You just want to put that out there. Skip that, anyone. Not that anyone listening to this is going dune bugging. But you know what I mean?

I just think, you know, you have to be open to compromise, but you can't compromise your character. Love it. That's good. I have advice that I want to know. Oh, I love it. So Chelsea, I've, I'm kind of an advocate for equal pay. Women's soccer team didn't make equal pay when I was a player. I didn't make men's pro money. And now that I've stepped away from playing professional sport, I'm making more money than I ever did. And nobody, what I like about you is you are fearless and having a conversation about anything. And so now that I'm out of soccer and earning money, I don't know everything, what to do with it, who to talk to. It seems like all the white dudes are behind this locked door and they hold the keys to all the financial

questions and information and they try to make it sound so confusing. And so my question, though it might seem shallow, is I do believe that money and power are very closely related. And so what do you do about your finances and your money and who do you trust? And where do you learn? How have you learned about it? Because I know that you've had it for a while and you are a really independent, strong, successful businesswoman. Well, thank you. I mean, I, first of all, I only have female business managers. I only work with women. Women are only allowed to handle my money. No men. Just because I like to work with women, period, you

know. But I don't know, like, I don't know a lot about money either. You know, I'm looped into lots of different groups that teach you about cryptocurrency or, you know, but I don't know a lot about money either. You know, I'm looped into lots of different groups that teach you about cryptocurrency or, you know, but I don't have that kind of money that I'm throwing around investing hundreds of thousands of dollars into different ventures and stuff like that. The one thing I do know and the advice that I got a long time ago is to always invest in real estate because that is never going to ever go away. You know, like the value of that, like the value of the dollar can go away, you know, but I'm not going to sleep with a bunch of gold bars under my bed. I mean, the reality of that is unlikely also. So I just buy up properties, you know, when I have a cash flow or an influx, I buy up a property that I can rent out, you know, I have a few houses and a few rental properties,

and that's a great source of income and it's a great investment and it's simple. And I invest in companies too. Like I just invested in the, you know, US women's volleyball team. They're starting their thing. You know, I invest in makeup companies or whatever. When I get a good tip from somebody in my circle that says, oh, we're putting money in,

I'll, you know, send it to my people and invest because I think you always have to be investing, right? You don't ever know what's gonna hit. And, you know, you have a financial advisor that you, do you not have one of those yet? A financial advisor? Yeah. We do. But like white men, right?

Like that make it seem so fucking complicated. It's like, these are not the spreadsheets you're looking for. I know. I know. And I, quite honestly, when I talk about finances, like I they'll try and update me on a phone call. And like halfway through, I'm like, let's speed speed this up because I am not interested in the ins and outs. Just I have enough money to survive. And do I have money to buy this house or not? You know, like but investing things, I think, you know, if you give him a directive like, listen, these are the kinds of companies that I'm interested in supporting. Female owned, minority owned, you know, like let's focus and give him something to zero in on.

So he's not just coming back with you and you're, you know, looking at Warren Buffett's portfolio going, oh, well, I guess these are all the things that are going to make me money. Because you guys are this is an opportunity for you to walk. You walk. You know what I mean? You guys do all these amazing things. And now you have an opportunity to do it with financially and put your money where your mouth is on top of it. Like that's all the power in the world, right? Perfect. Yeah. That's good. That's good. Okay. What's your question? Is there an edible? I feel like you've already asked me this question. I know. I want an edible that will calm me down, but it's not, doesn't count as drugs.

So I could not. It's not a psychoactive. That doesn't count as drugs. What about CBD? Okay. Can't you have that? That doesn't count as THC. THC, first of all, a lot of sober people take marijuana, but I know that you don't want to do that.

But CBD without the THC, the THC is the psychoactive component, right? So that's what you don't want to be around. And with your personality, you don't want to be around that. You want to become something that's going to help you, not make you run in the corner and hide anymore, you know? So you need a CBD gummy. And actually, you know what? I think I might have something for you because this is my good friend doesn't like that at all but she had she just wanted to calm down

because it's a body calm and you know like it doesn't matter if you're calming down your brain or your body the other one will follow right like everyone thinks they have to treat this thing and it's like well you can treat either one because we're it's so interconnected you have a brain in your stomach you have a brain in your heart and you have a brain in your heart, and you have a brain in your head. You know, there are three brains working in our bodies. And everyone just thinks this is the only one that matters. It's not. You know, it's our gut.

It's all of our things. But I will put together an array of things that do not have THC, a gift basket for you, now that you're local, a year later. I will put together a gift, a basket of things that have no THC. What about hemp? Great. I love hemp. Okay, great. I have clothes made out of hemp. I just invested in another company, this hemp drink company. That's perfect. I'm going to send you some of that. I'm going to send you a couple of other things. I'll put together a nice care package as soon as I get home today. I have a refrigerator filled with cannabis in my gym from top to bottom for every kind of user. So I will go in there and personally figure it out. Yeah. Just make sure it's not psychoactive. No, I know what we're

dealing with, Abby. Yeah. Okay. Well, because we also have three teenagers in this house who are like, what's this? Pop, pop, pop, pop. Yeah, right. Well, we'll put this in a special case in the bedroom, in the big girl's bedroom. In the big girl's bedroom. Yes, hot damn. This was so delightful, you guys. I love all three of you. What a great week we've had.

Seriously. Oh, my God. I just feel so honored to have been part of this week. I know. Me too. You know? Me too. It was a special fucking week.

It was. Big week. Yeah, it was a very cathartic week for me and it was transformative. I feel so much lighter after our time together the other day and today again. Same. We love you. We will be in your corner forever. Me too. Likewise. Also, we're going to be in your house soon. I'm inviting us over. Sorry. Okay. Okay. Well, my house is being built right now. So you'd have to invite me to your house soon. I'm inviting us over. Sorry. Okay. Okay, well, my house is being built right now, so you'd have to invite me to your house because my house is,

I'm in a rental and I'm not trying to show that off. Then come to our house. I will. I'll come over for sure. And so nice to meet you, Catherine.

Yeah, Catherine. Thank you for having us. Thank you. Bye, everybody. Bye. So if you'd like to ask Chelsea a question, email us at

dearchelseaproject at gmail.com. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the

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