Dear Chelsea - Autism & Abortion with Amy Schumer

Episode Date: March 3, 2022

Amy Schumer joins Chelsea this week to talk about life with an autistic husband, leaning on your therapist, and the difficulty of going through IVF. Then: A thirty-something wrestles with her emotions around an abortion. A wife wonders if her husband might be autistic, and how to ask him to get tested.  And a sister wonders whether to cut her only sibling off for good.*Executive Producer Nick StumpfProduced by Catherine LawEdited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert*****The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, morning, and good Eventide. What does Eventide mean, Katherine? Do we know? You know what? I don't know. I could tell you what a fortnight is. Two weeks. A fortnight is two weeks, right? Yes.

Well, that's a pretty slow response for somebody who's bragging about knowing what it is. Now I'm second guessing myself. I think eventide just means evening. Weirdly, my phone is no longer working. Lots of things are not working. Oh, no. It's not even Mercury retrograde right now. When is it Mercury retrograde, though? It's all the time. I thought it was like once a year. Turns out it's like five times a year. Yeah. I don't know. Do you believe in that stuff, Chelsea? I mean, yeah, I don't spend, yeah, the time of evening. So eventide means the time

of evening. So just evening. So you can just use that whenever you want. I mean, we should go over some other words. Pulchritudinous means beauty and grace. Oh, that's a good word. What else? I mean, if we're talking about times of day, I love the word madrugada, which is like, it's a Spanish word and it means like the dawn of the day or merienda, which is snack time. Oh, well, that's nice. Is that happy hour? I think it should be. Good pronunciation, by the way. Yeah. Okay. That's happy hour. And that's nice. Is that happy hour? I think it should be. Good pronunciation, by the way. It definitely should be. Yeah. Okay. That's happy hour. And that's why I know that word. Excellent. Yeah. I'm actually a secret Spanish speaker.

Oh, you are? I am. Yeah. I lived in Uruguay for several months in high school and then went back and visited. So I've spent about a year there, lived in Mexico for a little while as well and studied Spanish. And yeah, so I have a very shushy accent in Spanish. Oh, that's good to know. Well, if you ever want to go to Mallorca, you know, I have a place there. Well, excellent. That's great. Yeah. And you can practice your Espanol. It's a beautiful, beautiful place. I was thinking about selling it. And then because I hadn't been in two years, I was like, what's the point of this after COVID? And then we went back and I was like, oh, no, no, no, I'm about selling it. And then because I hadn't been in two years, I was like, what's the point of this after COVID? And then we went back and I was like, oh, no, no, no. I'm never selling it.

Like I will sell everything I own before I sell this. Just retire there. Yeah. It's so beautiful. And Spanish people, it's so funny. I was saying to my girlfriends this year, I took all of my girlfriends from my ski girlfriends met me in Mallorca. Yes. So there were like eight of us or seven of us.

I was like going on and on about how Spanish are so relaxed and just laid back. You know, even though they're like three-star Michelin restaurants, like it's not a big deal when you go to Spain and you go to a Michelin restaurant.

It's not like the rest of the world where everybody has like an attitude or, you know, they're even casual about that. Yeah. And they're super casual. But when my girlfriends came to Mallorca this year,

my friend, like we were there alone for a couple of days, my friend and I. And she's like, I don't know, but they feel the Spanish here, Mallorcans are very unwelcoming. And I went, oh, yeah, you're right. She's like, you haven't picked up on that? I'm like, well, no, because I have that same attitude. Like, fucking don't talk to me. You know, like I'm fucking happy. They're not fucking trying to shoot the shit with me.

Right. But I was like, I'm fucking happy. They're not fucking trying to shoot the shit with me. Right. But I was like, oh, that's interesting. And then everywhere we went, I was like, oh, they are assholes. Like, they are. And I was like, is it because we're Americans? Because usually that's the reason. And I don't, you know, you can't argue that. Right.

I mean, we kind of deserve it. But then we were like proving ourselves through town. And like, we're good customers. We're good tippers, which, you know, they don't care about anyway over there. But you'd think anyway, by the end of the trip, I realized that my kids are not friendly. But it had to be pointed out first. We would go in and like order a drink and they'd be like, we don't have that. I'd be like, you don't have the drink?

I can see the bar right now. They'd be like, no, thank you. Like they were basically rejecting us being customers. That happened on more than one occasion. And forget about renting bikes. We rented bikes at this bike shop. And this woman was on such a tear that I just walked away because I was like, okay, I can't deal with this woman. She was so rude and so obnoxious.

My friend said to her, she goes, honey, do you, to the woman, she goes, do you hate what you're doing? Because it's coming across that you hate what you're doing. Do you hate what you're doing? Because you're being so aggressive. And she had all this attitude. She goes, no, no, listen to me. I'm asking like woman to woman, you should find something that makes you happy so that

you can spread happiness instead of hatred. And I was like, oh, wow, way to go after. But then after that, the woman was like peaches and cream every time we saw her. So obviously it made a dent. Sometimes you got to just meet people where they are, I guess. Yeah. I was like, do I just get out my German and prove to you that I'm German? Because she's German, the woman. But I don't know any of my German because obviously that's a heritage that, you know,

I'm embarrassed about because of my Nazi roots. It's a conflicting message. My Nazi, my grandfather who served in the war, and then my father and being raised Jewish. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't think of him as a Nazi, but he did serve in the war on the German side. You're like, well, the timing checks out. Yeah. So I do consider him slightly to be a Nazi, but he's dead now anyway, so we don't have to worry about that.

Yeah. He was a prisoner of war in America for like three years. So he kind of got out of the, a lot of, per him, a lot of the soldiers on the German side did not want anything to do with that war, but had nothing to say about it because your children. Well, yeah, because you'd be strung up in the streets. Yeah. If you were saying no.

Yeah. I'd like to think that I'm the type of person that even if my family was going to be murdered, I would say, OK, on principle. But that's also probably why I don't have a family, because I would easily murder them or allow them. You already got them murdered. Yeah. I'm like the opposite of a matriarch.

I'm a martyr. Oh, my goodness. Okay. Well, we have a lot to get down to. I mean, we have a lot to get up to today or down to. It really depends how you look at it. It does. Up, down, reach around.

I don't know. What do you prefer? Right into. Yeah. Dive right in. Well, let's get up to something because it sounds more mischievous. Let's get up to something. Speaking of getting up to something, our guest today is always up to something.

She is. Yeah. She is a dear friend of mine, and she is a supermodel, and that is how she would like to be introduced from here, from henceforth. She would like to be introduced as a supermodel. So please welcome number one supermodel of the century, Amy Schumer. Well, thank you. I don't know how to thank you.

Well, you don't have to thank me yet. Okay, good. We'll save that for the end. We'll thank each other. This is Catherine. Amy, this is my producer on our podcast. Hello. Hi.

Nice to meet you. Likewise. And welcome to Dear Chelsea. It's an honor. It's a blessing, it's a curse. It's mostly a curse. No, I'm excited to do this. Well, I'm always excited to do anything with you because we have very similar sensibilities and annoyances. So we have a lot of similar character traits, Amy and I do.

So one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about today, first of all, I saw your movie The Humans last night on Hulu, which was awesome. Awesome acting job, Amy. Awesome acting job. Thank you for the compliment on my acting job. Thank you so much. And I hope that this is going to come out right before my Hulu show,

Life and Beth, which I wrote and starred in and directed, but it's not a big deal and it's not about that. It's about just people and relationships and being present. But yes, thank you for watching The Humans and I hope that people watch Life and Beth on Who? Lou. Michael Cicero

plays my romantic love interest. Oh, wow. Yeah. And to prepare, we had actual sex. That's excellent. You know, he's married, I'm married, but we both have kids, but we wanted Hulu to have the best show they could. So tell us about the show, Amy.

For those of us who aren't familiar with Life in Bath, tell us what it's about and based on. Okay. Well, it comes out on hulu on march 18th and it is about a woman who beth me whose life is like seems pretty great on paper good job hot boyfriend new york city good you know everything's good but she's completely dead inside and complacent in her life and and so then there's like a big event that sort of makes her kind of look at her choices in her life that's perfect for this show because we get a lot of emails from people who are in that exact

same position like just wanting to live their best life yes wanted it but like not sure how to make a change and or feeling feeling dead inside listless like desultory where you just feel like there are so many different words to describe that feeling but it is the worst feeling when you just feel hopeless and like rudderless that is the way to express it yeah stuck and just find yourself at like, what am I going to do with my life? You're so full of hope. And then, and then you like get into this life. And then at a certain point, you kind of wake up and you're like, is this a life I want, you know? And so that's kind of what the basis of the show is. And it was really fun to make. And I'm excited for people to see it. I really am. Yeah. I'm excited to see it as well. I've heard very good things about it. And also, I think it's a very relatable topic for anybody. People may look at Amy and myself

as people who are living their best lives because of success or because of fame or because of money or whatever you want to relate that to. Looks. Looks. Exactly. Looks, bodies. But I think that is applicable to anybody in any business. You know, there has definitely been times in my life where I'm like, is this it? This is everything I'm contributing? Like, is this all I've got?

Is this as good as it gets? So it's not an unrelatable topic at all. It's something that everybody kind of feels, you know, if you're doing well in life all the time, then you're probably not learning much. And if you're feeling good all the time about life, you're probably clueless. So I don't have anyone in my life. My darn the notifications is supposed to be off. Did you get an Amazon delivery? I wish we actually live at an Amazon facility, so we don't have to wait. Perfect. Yeah. And you're someone who I feel like you and I, you know, we relate on a million

things, but we first really became friends. Like I feel like when when you meet someone else who's like really interested in having fun and having experiences, that's more rare than you think, you know, you would think. So it's like when, you know, when we got together, when, when you find someone like that, you're like, oh, cool. This person sort of has the same philosophy as I do and is trying also to better themselves in the world around them, which is funny. Like you, you're friends with someone and because you like hanging out and then you kind of get to learn about them. You know, like I, I don't think I knew what an activist you were, you know, just all the things you were working on in that way. So it's kind of fun to be friends with someone and then realize how aligned you are

in the, you know, topics you want to give your time and energy to. Yeah. Yeah. Amy did this awesome thing on Martha's Vineyard where I've been going to Martha's Vineyard since I was born. Amy's been going there for a really long time. And Chris, her husband, is from Martha's Vineyard. My first husband. His first husband. Her, what is it called?

What did somebody once say to me? My current husband. Yeah, current husband. Her current husband is from Martha's Vineyard. And her current baby has also spent his summers on the vineyard. But Amy did this awesome thing where she, every morning last summer, every morning she had a group of people meet in Vineyard Haven or West Tisbury, was it? I'm not sure.

That kneeled for eight minutes and 46 seconds for George Floyd. And she orchestrated that with some members of the community. And then she had this kind of like group think after where everybody could sit down and talk about their feelings about the issues, the feelings about everything that's going on politically in this world. And just, you know, the difference between men and women and why men are a little bit having a little bit harder time understanding the equality conversation. That's such a nice way of putting it. Yeah, we would honor a different Black person who was murdered by law enforcement every day. Like somebody would come in and speak about them. And that was so meaningful to get to do that with you. And it was really like an amazing education. I

know. I love that about you that you're always trying to educate yourself more and you're never done. And I feel the same way. And just, you know, when it comes to being an ally or an advocate, it's like you just have to be like, just tell me when I fuck up and just try your best to help. And and no one cares about anybody's white guilt. So just save that for yourself. Exactly. And just help. Yeah. So that was really meaningful. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer.

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never

know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us tonight. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening?

Really, No Really. Yeah, Really. No Really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. What I wanted to talk to you about first, I think what I found to be very inspiring about you is your kind of understanding that your husband, Chris, was on the spectrum or your suspicion

that he was on the spectrum. Can you talk a little bit about that and like how you how you deduced that? Yeah. So there were, you know, a couple times where like when I talked about my special where I one time I fell like we were walking down the street and I fell and just I feel like everybody would have like nine out of 10 people would just be like, oh, my God, are you OK? And they go to pick you up. But he just kind of like stood there frozen, you know, and it was like I was like that. That's that's an interesting reaction. And if we were walking, if there was like three people kind of walking together, he would without thinking about it, kind of go straight, you know, and sort of disrupt the traffic walking the other way. You know, like just these little things where I was just kind of like, huh. And, but really I think the repetition, him, him repeating himself when we would have some sort of a disagreement, like he would get kind of stuck on a thought and wouldn't be able to hear what I was

saying in a way that was so frustrating and I didn't understand. And then I just kind of looked at a quiz online. They have these like, and if you have whatever, 15 of these 30 things here on the spectrum or something. And I just looked at it and it was like, oh, okay. So I just said to him, if you have any interest in being tested or learning more about this, I'm totally into it. But if you don't, then don't worry about it. And he was interested and went to a couple different psychologists. And then the one who tested him, Dr. Gilbert, who is amazing, we went in together. And this is in our documentary, Expecting Amy on HBO Max. She was

like, you showed enough signs. I am diagnosing you with autism spectrum disorder, ASD. It used to be called Asperger's, but turns out Asperger had like Nazi ties. Asperger's sounds like it would have Nazi ties. I know. It's not like that shocking. You're like, I think we know which side you were on, Dr. Asperger. And it was really helpful and like for us communicating and working with this doctor and understanding the sort of different brain chemistry. And we really, you know, he has his own experience of it, but he felt a lot better just to understand your brain more and have things make sense from your whole life and people being sort of – I mean, he's really gifted. He's a James Beard award-winning chef, and he has an amazing cookbook, The Beetle Bung Farm Cookbook, which is about the farm he grew up on in Martha's Vineyard. But it really helped him and I think other people that he

grew up around. It makes sense and it helps us communicate. And then we wanted to share it because just to get rid of, not get rid of the stigma, but just help. Be like, I'm married to this beautiful, amazing person and he's on the spectrum. And so many people are on the spectrum. So many people, friends of mine, they're kids that, you know, they don't get diagnosed because they're afraid of that stigma, I think. And it's a shame. So I really, we both wanted to encourage people to get tested and just find out because the tools that you're given are really helpful. Yeah. And also identifying the problem.

One thing, another thing Amy and I have in common is that we're both doctors, medical doctors, obviously, because we're able to make diagnoses like this quite frequently. You're my doctor. And I was, and I take a lot of pride in that. And I was very, really impressed that you were able to spot that. And that also impressed by Chris's inclination to actually explore it. Because there is this, you know, I can't tell you how many friends of mine have children who don't want to go get tested because they don't want to find out the truth. Or people with medical conditions that are not spectrum related that don't want to get tested because they don't want to find out the truth. And the truth is it'll make your life better.

Yes. The truth is such power. It's a tool. Then you have tools to use to understand not only you but how you relate to people and helps the people around you understand how to relate to you. It's so important. My mom is a speech and hearing therapist for the deaf. And, you know, there are these, there's this invention, the cochlear implant, where they can get some hearing and, you know, she signs with them and whatever. But some parents didn't want to get that for their kids

and they didn't want them to speak sign. They would rather their children. This is not even that long ago. They would rather their children try and lip read and speak and not sort of admit to being deaf. And I think of it as the same way. It's just don't you want your child to have all the tools possible to feel the best and succeed? So, yeah, I feel really strongly about it.

So does he. But amazingly, people who watched our documentary have reached out and were like that encouraged me and I got diagnosed and I am so grateful and, and things have been a lot better and my relationships and that was like the best outcome. Yeah, that is a good outcome. It's nice. It's nice to be able to do that. And now I know you posted once and I don't know if we've talked about this personally, but you were talking about Jean preternaturally having the same kind of diagnosis. Is that what are what are the percentages of that? Like, what's the deal with that? he will most likely have autism. Parents have different journeys with this. Having a child with severe autism is beyond my imagination difficult. But if Gene, if he does wind up having ASD, I'm not looking for the signs in a way that are upsetting. I'm not hoping either way. It's like most of my favorite people are on the spectrum. But yeah, he's two and a half. And I think they don't diagnose children until like maybe six, you know, like the earliest, I think, you know, you could see some signs, but diagnosis doesn't come to later. And I can say, honestly, I don't have a preference either way. You know, everybody, you just want your kid to be happy and healthy. I think that's one of the most important things that you guys are doing in raising awareness

about this is showing people that it's not the end of the world. I have a family member who's somewhere on the spectrum. And a friend of mine the other day was saying she was really worried because her nephew, they're thinking he might be on the spectrum. And she was really concerned. And I said, you know what? It's not a guarantee that they won't be able to live a normal, functional life. I mean, this family member of mine, he's married. He's got a great job. He owns his own business. He's extremely creative and interesting and goes to dance parties and frolics in the woods. But it's not something that necessarily has to be super scary.

I don't think it's scary at all. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Your child might be gifted. Right. You know, it's like most people, not everybody's like some, you know, incredible genius with autism, but most people like they do have a real talent for something. And they're beautiful, loving, kind people and good partners.

And I'm sorry that they're not going to be able to do a good job active listening to you at a party, but I think that's okay. I'd rather not. And that is one of my favorite things about Chris is that, like, once he was diagnosed, it's like you just have a full license to just if someone's in the middle of a long, boring story, he will just straight up walk away, you know, and I'm just and everyone's like, oh, there goes Chris, you know, and I still have to stand there and listen, even though I'm dying. I want to do chime in and say one of the cutest things that Chris said about Amy when I

asked him why he fell in love with her is he said, I knew that she would be an amazing mother. Pretty cute. That was pretty. That is so cute because I didn't even think I wanted kids when we met. I actually told him I didn't want kids when we met. And he said, we are going to have kids and and they're going to be great. And I was like, oh, OK. It was pretty easy to convince me. And, you know, about that, I don't know if I told you this yet, but there's a lot I want to talk about on this as well. And one of the things is that we, I did IVF, we made embryos and I went, went through the IVF process and which is so hard and so many people go through

it. And it's just these women, I am, my heart goes out Cause you know, people do it so many times. I did it one time and I was like, I'm going to die. This is awful. And I got like 31 eggs and I just felt so, I was like, I'm fertile myrtle. I just like felt very hot. And then boom, boom, like the drop off after you know, fertilization and blah, blah, blah. We only got one normal embryo and we tried and it didn't work. So, and now I don't have a uterus. So we're going to have just one child and we're just enjoying our little family. And I'm just focusing on that. And I think that, you know, there's so much pressure. Like once you have a kid, another one, you're just like, but I'm excited about it. And, but it, I was sad, you know? And, and it's's like it's not really something you get sympathy for because it's like you already have one bitch like shut up. But, you know, that's a

real struggle people go through as well. And so I just wanted to share that, that we we tried and we're just going to have the one perfect little little adorable angel. And there you have it, everybody. Those are those are your words of inspiration today from Amy Schumer. I have other. I have other words of inspiration. Here's something else I wanted to talk about on here, if it's OK. If it's OK.

Yeah, go ahead. I just wanted to say, I think I may have told you this. So I got lipo. I got liposuction. I never thought I was going to do anything like that. When I would hear liposuction, I was just like, that's so crazy to me. And I would say I'm not ever going to do anything. Cut to turning 40 after having a C-section and being like, hi, I can't feel my fupa anymore.

Like, and it just is out there and endometriosis and these and my endometriosis surgery. I was like, I healed well. So I was like, can I get lipo? And I got lipo and I'm feeling really good. And I just wanted to say that because if anybody sees me in pictures or anything and they're like, she's looking, she looks thinner and whatever. It's like, it's because I had, I had a surgery. I just, it's, it's too hard.

And I just want to be real about it. So I just wanted to share that on here. Well, I appreciate your truth. It's always good to be honest with the world and women, especially women need our honesty more than ever now. And I'm glad that you're healing well. And I'm glad that I know you, honey. I'm glad I know you, honey. We're going to take some callers because we have real people that call in for advice and we try to curate the episode towards you and your kind of areas of experience. So, Katherine, we'll start.

But we have like two or three callers and we give our advice, real life stuff. So that's what Dear Chelsea is. Yeah. High end. Yeah, very high end. And before we do that, we have to take a small break for some ads. Okay, perfect time for a shadoobie. I'm Jason Alexander.

And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really Know Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you.

And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park.

Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, No Really. Yeah, really. No really.

Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. And we're back. Oh, welcome back. That was so quick. Whenever I go to the bathroom, Joe says to me, God, that was quick. I'm like, women do not hang out on the toilet like men do with car magazines or men, whatever the fuck they're up to. Or on their phone.

I find it really gross when I go into somebody's bathroom and there is just a pile of magazines. It's like, excuse me. Do people still do that? Are you inviting me to take a Shadoobie and then also read while I'm sitting on your toilet? I may be guilty. And there's like dust on it. Is that you? I may be guilty. And there's like dust on it. Is that you? I may be guilty of a people magazine.

And like all the pages are you like, you know, and you're just like, this is so gross. But you know, what do you do? You still, I pick it up and I fucking read it. Yeah. Whatever it is. I'm just like, I guess I need to read this. Do the crossword. No, I mean, to be fair, no one's been in our house for two years.

So, you know. Exactly. So you might want to move those magazines to the master bathroom. Sorry, the primary bathroom. We're not saying that anymore. In the foyer. Yeah. Just leave the toilet in the front in the foyer. Well, our first call comes from Claire. Claire says, Dear Chelsea, I suspect my husband is on the autism spectrum. This is right up your alley, Amy. Whoa.

It's wild to me that you figured that out after you were together. I figured it was just something I always knew about him, but I think that's great. Diagnosed at 39. That's wild. I love that. It's come up before in social situations, more as a joke about how incredible he is at math and solving problems accurately in his head, not to mention his recall of sports stats. But is that every man? I hadn't really considered that he might be on the spectrum until we reached out to a psychiatrist about our daughter and some behaviors we were struggling to understand. He recommended some resources about

autism in girls since it's not easily identified and immediately intuitively I felt like it was true for my husband as well since then I've been in turmoil I've been struggling with depression and anxiety since having kids and now I'm realizing we've been living in this pattern of me feeling like I'm asking for help but he doesn't quote pick up on what I'm saying I know you have a good friend Amy Schumer this is actually like before anybody even knew you were coming on, which, you know, she even wrote in the subject like this is for Amy Schumer if she gets. Is that how I got booked? Yeah. Yeah. We reached out. Fan request. Thanks to Claire. Thank you, Claire. Yeah. She says, I know you have a good friend, Amy Schumer, that is successfully married to a man who is on the autism spectrum. How do I encourage him to

reach out for more resources without pushing him? I also need him to take on more of the lead parent, but his view can be very black and white that he's the breadwinner and needs to be available to his job 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. At the same time, he often tells me that he has flexibility. I'd love to hear from someone living this reality. Help, Claire. Oh, wow, Claire, I so feel you. I just so feel you. And, and, you know, to say successful, it's like, it's still really hard. It's not. It's marriage. Yeah, it's marriage. And he is my friend, you know, like we love hanging out. He's who I want to hang out with. He's who I want to watch TV with. And then there are some moments that are really hard. And we lean on our therapist a ton

in those times. We get a phone session and she really helps us. And so I think the thing is the initial thing of wanting him to get tested, the way I approached it was just, you know, it was in like a really friendly way, you know, it wasn't like it wasn't in the heat of a fight or something like that. It was just proposing it to him. And I think everybody's family is different. And I don't know her husband, he might be resistant to that. But I would just say, like, I know it's so hard. So I'm sorry, because I know it's it is really hard. And yeah, and sometimes you you're even saying exactly what you need, but the black and white is a real thing.

Actually, we had a fight the other day. I was taking Gene to gymnastics. And he's amazing at gymnastics, obviously. And I was hustling to get there. And I'm like, ugh. And it's hard. It's physically hard. I'm 40.

I don't have a toddler. This toddler is like 40 pounds. And it's hard like it's physically hard you know people i'm 40 like it's not i don't have like a toddler the toddler is like 40 pounds and it's hard to get him places you know so i get there rushed there and we get in and you know and the mask and the whole thing and there's you know like 30 little hasidic girls doing tumbling and i realized that we were a half hour early because chris told me it was a half hour. And so I text him, I'm going to kill you like you do. That's what you text your husband in that situation. And he got really upset. Like he didn't think I was going to kill him, but he just thought that meant like that I was furious or whatever. And yeah. And he kind of, when we spoke later,

was like really fired up because it's so black and white. And I'm like, no, you know, if I also, there are some times I would send like a heart or like a smiley face to someone and he'd be like, I think that's like inappropriate, you know? And I'm like, no, you don't understand like text culture, whatever. But my point is, I think broaching it, like I looked at this online questionnaire and I think that it would be really helpful to me and our kids. And it would mean a lot if you would, if you could look into getting tested and maybe they'll find nothing or maybe they'll help us and give us the tools. That's what I would say. Yeah. And I think educating yourself also in the interim. Like there was a book that I know that I sent you, Amy, that Chris had read that he and I had talked about.

I think what was it called? How to be autistic, how to live a happy, how to be happy with autism. I will. I will find out. We'll find out the table. What was that book? It was really amazing. It's like so, that is such a good perspective. Yes, because it really breaks down that all different, you know, any diagnosis is not similar to the next diagnosis,

that everyone with autism is experiencing something differently, but it gives you an idea of how language and simple cues are different for people who are on the spectrum versus people who aren't. And that we live in a world that is built for people that are not on the spectrum. And there are all these gifts, even though that sometimes it can feel like shortcomings when your partner doesn't react or interact in the way that you would, it feels like it's in a side or an affront maybe. But when you understand

where they're coming from, you realize that they're making a contribution that you're not making. They have something to offer that you don't have to offer. So really recognizing and understanding what those things and those gifts are really helps you elevate that person in your mind instead of to be annoyed at their lack of. That's such a good point. And yeah, it's like, that is my one criticism about therapy. It's like, why are we trying to teach them to do it our way? You know, it's like, why is our way the right way? And so some of those things, like for younger people, I think it's easier. They get helped socially. There's also a book called something about best

practices being like, oh, and you can watch, they recommended like watch Letterman or listen to Stern interviews to hear how people react and just like to see what sort of normal social cues look like, what's normalized. And yeah, and it's a little bit like, well, is my way the right way? And you're exactly right, where if I were a single mom and I was raising Gene alone, I would feel so bad for him with what I have. Chris and I need, we need each other and parenting because we have such different instincts. And, you know, I'm'm just like want to carry gene around on a satin pillow and chris is like i'll let him like ride his bike down that hill and i'm just you know so yeah gosh claire i really feel for you and and and i think having a plan if you come up with like

sort of a schedule like the you know because you said he has some flexibility at work so it's like how about monday wednesday friday these, you are present and do these things with the kid, you know, so coming up with a schedule that he can like think about and look forward to. And then making sure that you broach the subject to say the way that Amy said, you know, not in the heat of a fight, always in a calm, loving way. Like it's you guys finding out this together as a team for the sake of your family it's a whole unit involved it's not you being accusatory and saying this is what's wrong with you this this and this and this it has to come from a very loving place i really i i'm proud of how i've the job i've done with never weaponizing his diagnosis

you know like i never like because there are times where I just feel totally sure that it's because of the difference in our brain chemistry. But it's just never good to bring. I just would never bring it up in like, you know. Well, you're doing this because of. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's just and that's why I just I lean on our trusted therapist. OK, so those books are The Journal of Best Practices by David Finch and How to Be Autistic by Amelia Poe. Have you seen that show Love on the Spectrum, either of you? Hell yeah.

I love it. It. I want more. I know I was so bummed when the first season like pretty clearly ended because the pandemic started like a midseason. But it's just delightful. like i wouldn't say severe you know they're all functioning lovely people but i think that's why people when something's about the spectrum they go all the way in one direction yes and there is a spectrum there's so you know there's so many people who would would never know chris is on the spectrum but i mean that show just makes me think for Claire, like some of the frustrations in her marriage may come from him potentially being on the spectrum. But also some of the real joys in her marriage may come from that. Maybe he's like really funny and blunt.

Like maybe he has an incredible creative side, you know, whatever it is. Some of the joys of her marriage may be coming from that as well. I'm sure they are. I'm sure they are. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. And there's no one I would rather be with. You know, it's just I don't even mean that like a sweet way. Yeah. But, you know, you're beaming.

No, they know the grass is always greener, but it's just like if I'm not with Chris, I'm alone, you know, because I was like ready to be alone. And then met met this guy I was like partnering up with this guy and that's that and there you have it yeah and he can cook so I mean and he can cook we love that that's reason number one yeah we have a prenup we don't need it we don't need it yeah well our next caller is Sarah she says dear Chelsea of all, I admire you so much and have been a fan of yours for years. Long story short, I had an abortion almost two years ago. My partner was an absolute asshole and was secretly in a relationship with the mother of his other child the entire time we were seeing each other. He made my abortion experience an absolute nightmare. I've since grown a lot. I even went to work for Planned Parenthood

and recently became a volunteer counselor for an abortion support text line. However, I still struggle and feel a sense of emotional and sexual trauma, and I have major trust issues and just think everyone is out to hurt me. I've been debating whether or not to email you, but if there's one person who can knock some sense into me,

I know it's Chelsea. I look forward to hopefully talking with you one day. Thanks so much, Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Hi, Chelsea. Hi, Catherine. Hi. Hi. And Amy's here. Hi, Sarah. Hi. Oh, my gosh. Hi. Surprise, surprise. Yeah, you've got lots of strong women here today to help you. You've got a lot of support here today. Oh my gosh, I can't. Thank you. That's such a great question. Thank you for that question.

I mean, it's not for me, but you know, that's really cool. Yeah. First of all, good for you for having the strength to go through with getting an abortion when you're in a toxic relationship and knowing that that wasn't going to fit. Having a baby, it wasn't going to fix it when you're with somebody that can't participate in that way. So first of all, you made a really strong decision on your own and you should give yourself a lot of credit for that. Thank you. And I think I'll go first, Amy. I think that we all go through all of these kinds of feelings. You know, men have a way or whomever you're sexually attracted to, you know, they have a way of screwing us up.

But you don't ever have to think of that as a permanent state of being. I've been in toxic relationships with friends or with lovers or whatever. And that is never a permanent thing. It's a period of time that you go through and then it's your job to dig yourself out of it. And the first you're already out of the relationship. So the hard part and the most difficult thing is is doing that is getting rid of somebody that you know that you have feelings for and not going through with having a baby with that person is another strong move. So I think you've already set yourself up for a lot of success. And it's just about now getting yourself mentally equipped and fit enough to know that you're not going to allow that. Like you've said, these are my standards.

They're not down here. They're up here. And now the world has a way of meeting you in the moments that you are in. You know, when you lift yourself up, things come to you in that way. And when you don't think highly of yourself, lower things come to you,

lower quality things come to you, lower quality things come to you. So I think you're like already on your way to like great stuff and goodness, and you should enjoy this time of growth because that's what it is. Thank you. That is, I just like really just appreciate that question so much. And I just heard this, and I don't know, it might not resonate, but somebody said to me that grief is unexpressed love. And so I think, I think that grief will probably always be with you. And so to try and not like shoo it away, but, um, sit with it. And I just think that you

made such a great decision because you wouldn't have been welcoming that child into a good situation. And I think that is exactly. And so I think that is like the most extreme act of real love. And when you do become a mother, if you do, you know, if that's something you want, then I think that decision will be even stronger to you. Because I just all of my friends, I really don't have anyone in my phone who hasn't had an abortion. I mean, really, like truly. But that doesn't make it any less like sort of painful or traumatic, but and most of my friends have all had miscarriages. So like these, these insanely traumatic things, even though they are more normalized, it's just like you have every right to have that trauma, I would say. And I think it's really cool to share that.

And cause I'm sure it'll make so many people feel better. I hope so. Especially right now. Yeah. Yeah. I really hope so. And I think it's the craziest thing. Thank you both for all that you just said. Cause for me, it's like, this is very validating because like when it happened, I felt so alone because I didn't know anybody else that had had an abortion. It wasn't something I ever really talked about with my friends and family. Cause why would you, you know what I mean? So when it happened, I just didn't really know what to do or who, like I was in a city, I was in Chicago by myself. I didn't have any friends or family there. So my sister flew to be with me. Thank goodness. So she came to be with me and she's been my like rock ever since she always has been. But one of the first things she said to me when she came to

Chicago, she was like, I was crying. I was a mess. And she was like, Sarah, it's going to be okay. Like, didn't Chelsea Handler have an abortion? And that's the first time I smiled. That was the first time I laughed. That was the first time I felt any sense of like, I'm not alone because there is someone else out there that I connect with in some way that has been through it. And then from that point forward, I just started researching, you know, like reading people's stories on different websites and stuff like that. And then that really helped me to grow and to know

that there are so many other people that have had similar situations or, but now it's like, I'm just kind of like cleaning up the mess that this person made in my life. And every time I think I'm over it or like I'm healed and something happens where I'm like, oh no, I still have a lot to work on and a lot to do. So do you think people can heal Charles? Do you think people can fully heal? Like, is that a realistic goal? I think, you know, I, I mean, I don't know if you fully heal, but I know from my own personal experience, like I went to therapy, I don't know how many years ago it was like it was five years ago, I went, I went for two years. And the after effects of it didn't really start to sprinkle throughout my life until like this year. So it's like, it's a long duration. And if someone had told me like, oh, you're going to go to therapy,

and then five years later, you're going to meet the love of your life, or five years later, you're going to have all these great career highs or whatever, I would have been like, fuck, that's too fucking long. I don't have five years. You know what I mean? I invested in therapy for two years and then I let I and I just kind of went away from that because I wanted to apply it to my own life without leaning on my therapist. Right.

I think a lot of people don't want to start therapy because they think you need to be in it forever. And some people do. But I think a lot of therapists would say that most people get to a point where they can kind of graduate and use the tools they've learned on their own. So I think that you just have to be patient with yourself about the duration of time, because now everything in my life is better than I could have ever expected it at this age. I thought, oh, you know, like I thought at this age I'd be retired living in Spain. Now I'm like having the best time of my life. I'm in love. I have so many great things going on.

And I'm in a place where I can really be grateful for it and be present for it instead of being an asshole or thinking I deserve it or being kind of like too cool for school. You know what I mean? So I think that you just have to really be patient with yourself and understand that these times in between relationships, especially when you're cleaning up the emotional mess that a relationship has kind of unleashed. These are growth, huge growth spurts for us. And be patient with yourself during that time. Allow yourself to grow and allow yourself to heal because healing does happen. I don't know if we're ever really healed. I feel really healed about my brother dying. I feel like I got that out in such a big way that now I feel healed. I don't feel like something was taken away from me anymore. I understand. So I just

know that you're emotional right now and you have every right to be and you should sit with your pain. Like Amy said, I'm, you know, I totally believe that. And I think you every right to be and you should sit with your pain like amy said i'm you know i totally believe that and i think you're going to be fine i think you're going to be just fine and you're strong and you're a badass you're a badass you are sarah you're the shit oh my god stop stop thank you where do you live i live in portland now portland oregon oh cool okay good so there are good people around you yeah and i live with my with my sister now. So we have, she is like, it's like a live-in therapist almost. It's the best thing ever. And I've told my, you know, ever since that happened, like I've opened up to my family. So my parents know now, that's why I'm like putting it out here on a podcast because I'm like my parents, everyone that I love and cherish in my life, they all know

and they all support me. So. And you'll have so many people tell you me too, me too, me too, me too, me too. It's like HPV, like in college, you know, I opened up at like one party and now I'll be like, you know, it's like, yeah, it's true. It's true. Like the more people I told, the more I heard from people that I have been friends with for years, they'd be like, well, can I tell you something? Like I did too, a few years ago. And then it just kind of opened the floodgates in my life of just being like, you know what? Now I feel like it's my purpose and like my mission in life to open up to people and talk about it and be like, I don't know, not an example, but you know what I mean? Just someone that can be relatable. And that, you know, if I tell you- It's a beautiful, brave choice. Yeah, it is.

It's scary, of course, but it's also like, I feel like if I don't talk about it, then I'm contributing to the like stigma around it of not talking about it and not. Exactly. Yeah. That's why it's so helpful right now too. And honestly, if like, you know, if anybody in your life had judgments about it, wouldn't you want to get them out of your life anyway? Cause like. Yeah. One of the things that I wanted to mention to Chelsea was that like, I feel like that's something I really struggle with, with in terms of relationships is that I don't know whether or not to tell people sometimes. And I, I do kind of want to weed them out at this point. Like if you're not going to support that decision that I made, then like, I don't think you have a spot in my life anymore because this is a huge part of who

I am in terms of like a relationship. Like I don't know if I can be with someone that is against it. It's just really weird for me. And it's, it feels like it's now part of my identity. But you also don't need to tell anybody, you know, it's like, I don't think on a first date, you know, you gotta be like, should we start with a drink? I had an abortion. You know, you can tell anybody when you're comfortable. Some I know, I know some women who are married who never never say anything. And I would also argue that, you know, in the moment we're in, in this period of time, the louder that we can be about abortion, the better. So if you are comfortable with it, I think you should be talking about it. You know, like it's obviously your personal choice, but like people really need

seem to be really mistaken about how essential this is in life. So it's very important that if you are, you willing to use your voice that you do. Thank you. Yeah. And keep us posted. Okay. Let us know how your life goes. I will. I'm coming to your show in February. So I'll see you there then. Thank you so much, Chelsea and Amy. Thank you. Take care. Bye-bye. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like... Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer.

We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend.

Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah? Really, no really. Yeah, really.

No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Wow, that was a perfect caller for this episode with Amy.

I love her. Yeah. Do we have time for the last quick one? Yes, we do. We have Tiffany on the line. Tiffany Haddish? No, not Haddish. Tiffany Thiessen?

Oh, I mean, she's wonderful too. Dear Chelsea, she says, I'm so envious of the relationship you have with your siblings. How do you do it? I have one sister who is seven years younger than me. With our age difference, we weren't close growing up, but the relationship hasn't improved with age. We've both been divorced and remarried. We both now have blended families. I'm 41.

She's 34. She lives about an hour and a half from me, and we never talk because she hates my husband. According to her, he reminds her of her ex-husband. Ever since marrying him four years ago, she's barely spoken with me. She's invited me and my son to holidays at her home, but required I not bring my husband or his kids, which I'm not going to do. I've invited her entire family to our home for many holidays, but she never attends. I called her several times, but she doesn't answer or does and gets off the phone within five minutes. I send Christmas gifts for her kids, but they're criticized.

I don't know what to do at this point. I'd love to have a relationship with my sister, but it is seemingly impossible at this point. Do I keep trying to reach out to her or light the match on this bridge? Tiffany. Wow. Hi, Tiffany. Hey, Chelsea. It's so good to visit with you. And Amy's here today as our special guest. Hi, Tiffany. Oh, oh my gosh. Hey, Amy. It's so good to see you. You too. I really appreciate that question. I really feel you. It's so tough. And this is Catherine Tiffany. This is my producer, co-host Catherine. Yes, we've chatted. We've chatted. Okay. Okay. Of course. Of course.

We're besties. Yes, of course. So that sounds like a very, very difficult situation and really frustrating for you, huh? Yeah. And since I sent that, we've had Thanksgiving come up and Christmas planning. And so again, you know, I invite everyone over for the holidays to our house and she never comes. She doesn't bring her family. It's just like, here we go again with this game of, oh, well, you can come and your son can come, but your husband and his kids can't. And we're all one big happy family. I mean, our kids are all, they're 11, 13 and 15. So it's really odd to say, oh, I'm going to ditch half of my family to go to your house. It's just odd. And I keep trying to reach out. Like, can we do lunch? Can we talk about this? And she's just not having it. So I'm just wondering, when do I just say, hey, look me up when you can be civil with my family?

On the one hand, I do. I mean, I fully identify with this from like a sister perspective and sisters can be so difficult. And I think some of it may be because she's a little younger. But, you know, kind of thinking about it from this perspective of your husband reminds her of her ex-husband. I went through an abusive relationship in college and for years afterward, if I was walking down the street and even saw someone who like looked vaguely like this person, my like body would tense up. I was like, felt like I wanted to punch this random stranger. Like it was a visceral reaction. So my thought is like it may have something to do with that, but that's also sort of her thing that she needs to process because your husband is a different person.

You know, she needs to get to know him and make a judgment call based on him. Can I ask, does your sister have any sort of a possible personality disorder? I'm serious. Like, did she struggle like in any way growing up that you think that there could be some instability case. But I guess my confusion is like, even the kids, like the kids can't even associate with your kids. I mean, it's tricky. That is so brutal. I just want to say like, I really, I really, really feel this. And I just think the narratives that people create, they're almost none of our business. They're so everybody just writes their own story about every person, no matter how close you've been or anything.

And to try and chase it and correct it and whatever is an impossible task, I would say. And if I were you, I would just say the door is open anytime. And then I would back off because probably each of those invitations isn't landing well with her. That's what I would say. But it's really painful. And I'm really sorry, especially the kids. That's horrendous. Yeah, I appreciate that. Well, and I, you know, the reason I wanted to write in is because, you know, Chelsea is, is well now one of five and y'all vacation together. It seems like with that many siblings, there would be some things that come up and that Chelsea's obviously worked through. And I'm thinking, God, I have one sibling and I can't make it work with just the one. And I'm

trying everything I can do. And I hate to, to just off, but at the same time- It's not your fault at all. I'm open to having a relationship with you, but you can't just keep saying, okay, well, you can't talk about your husband or you can't bring your other kids here. I mean, that's a lot. That's a lot. And have you attempted to just have like a lunch with her

one-on-one so that you guys can talk about it like adults? Yeah, so the closest we've gotten to that is a couple of years ago, right before COVID hit, I actually made lunch plans with her and drove an hour and a half to her house. And then I was like, Hey, I'm having, I called her, Hey, I'm having trouble finding exactly where your house is. Cause she had moved and she's like, Oh, I totally forgot about that. Yeah. That won't work for me. And she canceled on me after I had already driven out there. I've tried calling her and she doesn't answer. She is like, oh, the kids are bothering, you know, the kids are bothering me.

I got to go. The conversations are just a couple of minutes and then she wants to get off the phone. Well, I would just, I would probably have one last effort. And in that effort, whether it's an email, sometimes that lands better because people have time to digest it and reread it or a phone call or an in-person meeting if you prefer, whatever your preference is, with one last effort to just say, hey, listen, we're sisters. You're the only sister I have. I'm the only sister you have. I understand that you have some issues, but you have to kind of take it from my perspective. This is my family. This is not your ex-husband. This is my husband.

These are my children. These are his children. These are the people I love the most in my world. As my sister, I would love for you to have open arms to my whole family and not try to segment our family to your liking. That doesn't really work for us. But my door is always open because I love you I'm always happy to see you one-on-one it's when she starts to bifurcate the family that that's not kosher you

know like I'm always happy unless your husband has done something to hurt her that you haven't mentioned or has been awful to her in any way right so so it's just a reasonable rational email explaining like that you will always love her, that you always desire a relationship with her and that it seems really unreasonable. The demands that she makes in order to see her and leaving the door open, like Amy said, you know, for future whatever. And then make peace with that with yourself because you have to be the one that's okay with that. Somebody just said that to me. They said the most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. So it's obviously like really painful for you.

So I would do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself. I really appreciate that. I think that's what I needed. To hear that saying that to her is okay. You know, putting that line in place is okay. And Chelsea, I like how you phrased it that, you know, hey, one-on-one, if you want to meet up, that's great. But once you start segmenting my family, that's where it becomes a problem.

I think that phrasing is really good. So yeah, and I like the idea of an email too, so that I'm not as, you know, quick to say something over the phone. I like that a lot. Yeah. And make sure it's loving from the beginning and the end. Shouldn't be fiery. It should be loving because when you read loving words, it's like they have a way of resonating more so than I think sometimes even hearing them. You know what I mean? Yeah. I like that a lot. Thank you for that. But let us know what happens. Okay. Keep us posted. I will. Thank you all. Thank you.

So nice to see you, Tiffany. So good to see you, Chelsea. If you ever decide to come to, you know, conservative hell Oklahoma, then let us know. We're ready to have your stand-up. I watch your stand-up on Netflix, but, you know, you don't come to Oklahoma very often because it's, like, Republican like crazy here. Yeah, yeah. I think I crossed Oklahoma off my list at some point, but I will revisit it. Okay. Maybe we should come to Canada.

But take care and good luck with your sister. Thank you. Thanks, Tiffany. We are going to take a quick break so you can hear an ad and then we'll be right back. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really Know Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer.

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today.

How are you two? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really?

That's the opening? Really, No Really. Yeah, really. No Really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Ah, so sad. I know. Family, family shit is always so fucking annoying. Annoying. Do you get in stuff with any of your siblings at holiday times? Yeah, I meet holiday times? Yeah. I mean, my brother. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a constant negotiation. It's a lifelong, you know, it is really painful. But I do think I do believe what I said to her where you have to like at a certain point if it's hurting you, like she's in a lot of pain. Yeah. And if it's hurting you, like do what you need to do so that you're not in pain. So if something has this dynamic, you know, and at a certain point, if you need to step away, then I think you just have to do that. And just to know that she doesn't have to keep chasing her, that she can just allow her sister to come to her when she's ready. But, yeah, I think, Chelsea, what you said about it has to like start and end with compassion and like really hammer home the compassion rather than. that's what i mean yeah because that's what i learned in therapy like i would always just be

like this is what you fucking did and people are like no you can't that's the thing you really whatever narrative her sister has made up it's not just that her husband triggers her like she has created a story you know and in that email you're talking about if she were like he's never done anything it's like not helpful it's like they are gonna believe you know right whatever they've written in their mind anyway life and beth is on hulu march 18th oh fabulous okay everybody and yes don't forget amy had lipo and life and death is on Hulu. Life and Beth. Life and Beth. I'm confusing my own book with her show.

Life and Beth will be on, not Hilo, Hulu. Fabulous. March 18th it premieres and everything Amy does is awesome

so make sure you fucking check it out. I mean, that's accurate. Amy, did you have any advice that you wanted to ask Chelsea for?

Oh, I didn't know it was supposed to be advice. Oh, that's okay. No, it doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be. Whatever it is, it'll be interesting. I have two questions. I have two questions. Okay.

Okay. One is, what do you think my reputation is with people in our industry? Well, that's a good question. What do I think your reputation is? I think that you are considered to be a badass, I would say. I think that you're in control of your own decision making. And I would say that people know that you're tough. And right back at you, what do you think your reputation is? The same. Within the business. Yeah, I would say that too. And you know what? We really like each other, so.

And you know what I say? If no one thinks you're a cunt, you're not doing it right. There we go. And on that note, cunts out. Cunts out, y'all. Bye.

Thank you, Amy. I love you so much. I love you so much. All right. Really nice meeting you, Catherine. All right. Bye. Okay, stand-up dates. I love you so much. All right. Really nice meeting you, Catherine. All right. Bye. Okay.

Stand-up dates. I have Winnipeg coming up March 10th and March 11th. There are still tickets to the second show, which I believe the second show was added on the 10th. Yes. We have two shows coming up in Toronto, March 12th. You can get tickets to the late show still for that. And then I'm going to Ottawa.

And then I pick back up in Cedar Rapids, Des Moines and Omaha, April 14th, 15th, 16th, and then every weekend and through July. So pick your tickets up, go buy them at ChelseaHandler.com. And you'll see me on my People's Choice Award winning comedy tour. The best tour of 2021. And even though it's 2022, I consider it to be the best tour of 2022 as well. Thank you. And if you'd like to get advice from Chelsea and one of her guests, please write in to dearchelseaproject at gmail.com. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on The Really Know Really Podcast

is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really Podcast.

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