Dear Chelsea - Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

Brooke Shields is here to chat about that surprise vaginal rejuvenation, judgment from strangers on the internet, and her new book, Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old. Then: A young mom worries her own mom prioritizes her looks and partying over being a grandma.   * LA WILDFIRE HELP Help Patrick Rebuild Help Miles Rebuild  Altadena Displaced Black Families List Mutual Aid Spreadsheet - Get Help or Volunteer Pasadena Humane Los Angeles SPCA * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How to Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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podcast. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. How you holding up? I am in Whistler. I returned to Whistler after everything was canceled in Los Angeles. So I am here watching from afar all the devastation and how are you guys doing? We're holding up. It's nice to talk to you now that both of our houses are hopefully not in immediate

danger. And the last time when we talked, we saw a plume of smoke coming over our house and we had to cut out early. So it's been a really scary couple or not even a couple weeks, week. And we're just hanging in there for all our friends who've lost their homes or businesses. And I know I'm sure you have some friends who've lost homes. We've got friends who've lost homes. So and a special shout out to all of our frontline workers and first responders and firefighters. The jobs that they are doing are unvathomable and it's so scary.

And I have high hopes for us building back a Los Angeles that is safer, more fire resilient, and a more community centered place. I think this is a way for all Angelenos to really come together and set the tone for what it looks like to rebuild a city that has been decimated. That has been pulverized. Yeah, Brad and I basically we had to go get out of here. Once we knew we weren't in immediate danger

from the fires near our house, Saturday and Sunday, we just went and volunteered to like get the nervous energy out of our bodies. And it was amazing. There were so many people. There were times when the organizations we worked with had to pause donations or pause volunteers because they just had too many. And then they restart again.

And it has just been really inspiring to see everybody showing up for the city. Yeah. And for each other. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And Chelsea, I know you wanted to share some resources. So we've compiled a list of those.

And of course, we'll have links to those in the show notes. If you are somebody affected by the fires and you need help, or if you live in the Los Angeles area and you want to provide help. Mutual aid put together a spreadsheet that you can sort by area, by need type. So they'll actually be in there updating whether they need volunteers today or what kinds of donations they need, whether that's clothing or tampons or diapers or any of those things. So check that out if you need help or you're ready to give help. If you're not in the Los Angeles area

or you're not able to get out and help you'd like to donate, we have several links in the show notes. And the first one is a personal friend of ours. His name is Patrick. He and Brad were in Save Ferris together for several years, toured all over together. And he's somebody who he's been through a lot

and really overcame a lot of adversity in his younger years and went on to be an awesome single dad and has a wonderful partner now. He bought one of those typical tiny Alta Dena homes that his mom who had lived in her house for decades moved to be closer to them two blocks away and both of them lost everything, but the shirt's on their back.

So he would be a wonderful person to donate. My other friend, Miles, who I work with, who is on Daily Zeitgeist, if any of you know that show, he also lost his home. He and his wife and child got out ahead of the fires, but they lost their home and everything in it. Altadena is also a historically black neighborhood and so someone has put together a

spreadsheet of all of the GoFundMe's for black families who lost their homes in the fires, so we'll have a link to that as well. And if you'd like to donate for displaced pets, Pasadena Humane is doing wonderful work and they're right near Altadena. They're dealing with a huge influx of pets and donations, so they could really use the help. And then also the SPCA in Los Angeles is doing great work. We volunteered with them this weekend as well,

and they'd be a great place to donate as well if pets are your thing. So I know in times like this, it can feel like you're totally helpless and there's nothing you can do and you're just watching something awful happen somewhere else and donating to one of these funds or to another, you know, a friend of a friend who shares a GoFundMe, those are ways

that you can get involved and actually make real change in real time for people who need resources right now as they're like figuring out insurance and figuring out what to do next and figuring out where they're going to live. Even five bucks helps. Of course, more is great, but any small amount that you can help these families out with, I know will be really, really well used. Absolutely. And our guest this week is Brooke Shields. She is here talking about aging. She has a new book called Brooke Shields is not allowed to get old. And we've had her on the pod before and she's back again. And I can't believe I just used pod as a nickname for podcast. That's where my head is at. Please welcome Brooke Shields. Brooke, welcome. Welcome back to the podcast, Brooke Shields. Thank welcome. Welcome back to the podcast Brooke Shields. We love you. We love you here. I loved I found your book to be so comforting. Oh good. I mean I know

you've written other books but this book is about aging, your thoughts on aging, how your experience in aging. It's actually called Brooke Shields is not allowed to get old, which I would imagine to be a very real feeling for you. And as you discussed in the books, there's so much stuff in here about what it's like to feel like public property and to feel like your physicality, your age, your body was kind of owned by the public because of how young you started working. And I don't think that's, you know, obviously a very common experience. I remember seeing you, Andrew Barrymore, and watching the two of you kind of connect

on all of the dysfunction that you experienced. And I was like, oh, God, I hope there's more women out there that they can connect with about it, because it's such an unusual experience. It is, and we had a very different reaction to the experience, but I always felt very protective of her. I've always felt like that, and I'm older, so that helped it.

I think it's more universal than we think it is insofar as the ability for the world. Now, it's everywhere on Instagram or Tok or comments or whatever it is. Everybody has so much to say about everybody else and we didn't ask for it. And you don't just have to be in the public eye, right? You're just a normal person who gets an Instagram account, you know? And so I think that part's more universal is that we're constantly commented on our beauty, there's opinions, and that they're voiced.

And there's this funniest thing happened to me, I was doing an Instagram Live the other day for the book, and all of a sudden it pops out in bold letters because of course it had to be all caps, just in case I didn't hear the message. And it was, oh, I really wish you looked the way that you used to look when you were younger. And I just laughed, I had to share it with everybody live. And I said, hey, I couldn't tell if there's a guy or not,

but I'm sure probably was a guy. And I said, read the title, read the title, dude. And go, that's the point. Like- It's amazing to me, because there's a story in the book too, where you reveal your age to some guy in his wine cellar at his house. And he's like, I really wish you hadn't told me that.

He says he was born in 72. You admit that you were born in 65. And he's like, almost disgusted that you would reveal that to him. And then had to deal with his own age identity. Like it was bothersome to remind him of how old he was. Yes. I mean, it's unreal that men feel like they can say this

to us or say this to you or any woman. I mean, it's just unreal. So ridiculous. Well, it's also even complimenting someone like, oh, you look great. Well, did you think I didn't look great before? Do you think I've had work done? Do you think that I've had that? I'm like, why is it so quick? No, I know women, I always

want to celebrate my friends. So I'm always going to be positive about that. You know, it's Britney Spears being asked about her virginity. It's me being asked to stand up so that Barbara Walters can compare her measurements to me, to a 15-year-old. It's just, it's so absurd, but it's been so loud and perpetuated for so long. So I think that that's it, you know? But it's still happening. Oh, yeah.

You know, like that with Barbara Walters, that happens to you, what, 50 years ago, 40 years ago? But it doesn't end. It doesn't. It's kind of like, well, aren't we supposed to be learning? In the beginning of the book, you talk about, you tell a story where you're being interviewed by a reporter and they keep asking you the same question,

hoping that you're gonna give a different answer. And at some point you say that. You say like, I'm sorry, I don't think I'm giving you the answer you want. And I know exactly what you're talking about. You start learning to play certain games, you know, and you just to get through these things because you know that they don't really care.

Or I just start learning how to speak in sentences that couldn't be chopped up to have a completely different meaning when they're put in print. Yeah, and one of the things that's really, really admirable and very obvious to any outsider is that you have, over the years, really realized as you've aged, how to stand in your power.

One example being that Tom Cruise incident that you speak about in the book, where he was talking about medication and with Matt Lauer, I believe, and was being very, he was calling Matt Lauer glib because he was talking about medication and on with that with Matt Lauer, I believe, and was being very, he was calling Matt Lauer glib because he was talking about you and your postpartum and that you didn't really need to take any medication. I think that was basically the gist of it. Knowing nothing about your situation, knowing that not having ovaries, by the way,

not being a woman. And then so that. And then you stood up for yourself very publicly with an op-ed in the New York Times, right? Yep. Yeah, and he came over and finally apologized to you. But taking that on, like that in and of itself, a lot of people would be scared to take on a celebrity of that magnitude, but he was so, I totally would never miss a beat

to do exactly what you did because he was so misguided and so misinformed and has absolutely no business speaking on that subject matter whatsoever. So how did that feel like having that apology come from him? How did it feel to stand up for yourself in that way? You know, it felt very justified. And I think you don't need the justification to stand up for yourself,

but that wasn't the way I was raised. And so this felt very clear because I was also not just fighting for myself. I was fighting for women and the terror that postpartum depression can hoist on you and the danger of it. And there was so much at stake for women. So to have someone so considered powerful, take all of this that had been put forth to them, women, for the first time, really, and just undermine it on such a level, I couldn't stand by and do nothing.

And I fired my publicist over it because she said, do just that, don't honor it with an answer. And I said, don't honor it with an answer. I'm honoring myself and other women who stand to be scared and hurt or just need and deserve the information. And so I did have a bigger, not a bad responsibility, but this like bigger reason to do it, because it wasn't selfish as much as it was,

because I'd known them forever. A lot of the antics that I see people have, you know, they're not in my life daily. So it's like their antics are I see people have. You know, they're not in my life daily. So it's like their antics are just like, I like antics. It's good. It's like, but this wasn't that anymore. This wasn't personal in a weird way. He made it personal. Yeah. And that was his mistake because, you know, not only was I like America's sweetheart by that, you know, had been or whatever. And that was his mistake because, you know, not only was I like America's sweetheart by that, but you know, had been or whatever, and that's a joke we use all the time in my house,

but this was women were, they were outraged. And I even said to him, I said, you know, you kind of barked up the wrong tree because of my ability to respond and because of what I have behind me that has been growing for 40 plus years. And I said, and it's something you, you're still not qualified to talk about. And you're qualified to talk about what you want to talk about for yourself and your body, but this is your way out of your lane. And then, and I said, so unfortunately it kind of backfired on you. And it did. I mean, we, and you had people coming out and people were still talking about it.

And then it's over 20 years later, you know? So I think it was a misstep. I think it was a mistake that he messed up to making. And I think he felt like it was a mistake and he did apologize for it. And, and it was personal. Right. And you know, did I need him to do it publicly? Not, not really, because it was a different level of what he

needed to do in my opinion. Yeah. I want to flag something in your book too, cause you talk about having a grand mal seizure, which is pretty serious because you were training pretty hard or rehearsing pretty hard for a Broadway show, right? And you were, we talk about water a lot and how much I love water on this podcast.

I cannot drink it. I find it to be so boring. I constantly have to put electrolytes in it just to flavor it. And you have once again proved my point that drinking tons and tons and tons of water does nothing to help you, especially if there is a heat wave happening. You are depleting your system.

The water itself is not good enough. You need the electrolytes and the sodium to hold on to the water. Put some in my bag. Yes, I have the same exact ones. LMNT, of course, they're the best. So you passed out at a restaurant, you were going a million miles an hour, it was the middle of a heatwave, you're rehearsing for a Broadway play. And I go into this restaurant to thank one of the women that worked there for coming in to see a run through. And as I walk in, two

women come up to me and I don't know what they were talking about. I think maybe they were talking about the documentary. I don't know. On the video, you see me engage with them and then you see me sort of like go like this and then you see me do this a lot. And then I just go down. And I hit my face on a serving station. And one of the women that came up to me was a registered nurse. What are the chances? It was really bad.

And then I woke up in the ambulance. With Bradley Cooper. With Bradley Cooper, as one does. Whenever anyone has a grand mal seizure in New York City, Bradley Cooper appears. Just everyone should know that. It just appears. And the first thing that goes through your mind is,

I must have not made it. But you're good friends with him or you're friendly with him. He lives in your neighborhood. So he was there because your assistant had reached out to his assistant. La da da da da da da. Was that the first, that was, is that the first and last grand mal seizure

you've had, Brooke? Yes. Oh, thank God. Yes, that is the first one. I've, I have fainted before at times and I have low blood pressure, which is why I need the electrolyte and I need the salt. So I need salt in my diet because of that, because I have low blood pressure. And so the times that I've fainted have all been because somehow the sodium is low. So, no to all our listeners, water isn't just going to do it on its own.

So, drinking copious amounts of water with nothing in it is useless. You might as well have a Diet Coke. But also in the hospital, do you remember what happened in the hospital? Yes, that the doctors were... Yeah, you go ahead. You tell us. Two doctors. Okay, they were men. This is not a male hating thing, but they both, one said, are you restricting salt ma'am because of dietary reasons?

I was like, first of all, don't call me ma'am. And don't talk to me in that tone. Yes, and I said, and second of all, I said, I'm a 58 year old woman. I look younger, bloated. No, I do not restrict salt. And I find that very rude for you to ask me that question. And my husband like put his arm on my arm

and I'm like, don't tell me to change my tone. I didn't like that tone. He doesn't have to like my tone. And then I got asked it again by another one of the nurses that came in, the male nurses, that are you sure now you weren't definitely? And I was like, wow, would you ask a man that question?

I don't think so. I just don't. No, of course not. And the way men talk to women in all medical ways, like, I mean, yes, there are great doctors out there who obviously ask the right questions, but you speak a lot in this book about advocating medically for yourself in many different circumstances where you've

been stuck in the hospital, you broke your femur, you were in the hospital for over a month, I think. Yeah. I mean, you, and it was during COVID, so there were, I mean, or you were also in the hospital during COVID. So you've been through, you've been through it a lot and you understand the kind of way that, that women are spoken to. COVID. So you've been through, you've been through it a lot and you understand the kind of way that that women are spoken to. I mean you got an accidental vaginal rejuvenation in the hospital

that you didn't ask for. It wasn't accidental, it wasn't accidental. It was a little, a little uh, I got a twofer, got a gift. He thought he was doing me some big favor. I was just shocked. Absolutely. By tightening your vagina. So she goes in, wait, so tell that story. That's absolutely absurd. It's insane. And also let me just say one thing before I get to my vagina yet again, which always is a very topic of conversation. You know, I also, it's not lost on me that I'm blessed enough to be able to have good health care and attention, I was taken care of well. I wasn't being shoved in a hallway or something. So it's like I sort of say like,

it's very hard to self-advocate, but they're a little bit afraid of me because I'm famous or something. And so like, but that's like a luxury. I mean, without that, it's even 100 times worse for women and women of color to have even the space and have anybody's ear to be able to self-advocate and ask the questions.

And how do we know what the right questions are? Anyway, I was asked by my gynecologist, after babies actually, I was a bit wrong on the timing, but if there was any discomfort ever because of labia. And I've been experiencing it my entire life, like cheerleading and tight jeans, skinny jeans, and then spinning and, you know, sacks and all, like all this stuff, right?

And I just thought you just had to deal with stuff. Some people had one boob difference, some people, you know, and I didn't know anything about it. And when I was asked if I had had that kind of discomfort, it was such a revelation. She said, there's nothing to be ashamed of. She said, I see it all the time and it's very common and it's very fixable. It unfortunately falls under cosmetic surgery,

so insurance probably isn't going to cover it. She said, why don't you get a consult and see if it makes sense to you? After having something bother me for so many decades, you can't even believe that there might be an option. And so he drew this whole sort of diagram about how kind of easy it was to do and how he does it all the time. And you know, and I was talking about just the discomfort. I signed up for it, got it done, came back, you know, a week later or post-op or whatever.

And you know, he says, oh, it's more difficult and it took me longer. And I'm like, okay, I don't need all the details. Thank you very much. Like, if it's good, it's good. You're like, we can watch the video when we have a night of nothing to do. Because I'm sure you have that.

And so I just like, is it all good? Am I healing? Is everything fine? How long will it take? All the questions. And then he said, and wow, I threw in a little rejuvenation for you. And I said, I'm sorry, what, what, what do you mean? What?

That's a different word than reduction. That's a different word than reduction. He goes, well, yeah, no, I just, uh, I tighten you up a bit. And I said, you did what? He goes, yeah. I was like, well, am I planning on being a porn star? I was like, I don't know. I don't understand.

I didn't, I was like. Plus you had C-sections, right? I had two C-sections. You didn't even give birth vaginally. No, my babies were IVF. I could argue I'm still a virgin. Oh God, it's so gross. Men are so gross. Oh, just. One of the things, I know we have to move on to callers, Catherine, but's so gross. Men are so gross.

Oh, just one of the things, I know we have to move on to callers, Catherine, but I do want to touch on one thing that I found very moving, Brooke. I thought this was really like not only brave, but it was just a sign of what age brings us and the wisdom it brings us and the confidence that we gain in allowing ourselves

to be honest with ourselves. And one of the things that you write about towards the end of the book is the kind of what ifs in your life, like what if my career had gone in a different direction? What if I had gotten this movie Dangerous Liaisons that I was up for that was given to Uma Thurman, who got the part?

What if you had been on a different trajectory and you kind of talk about the way that you think of things, and not in an ungrateful way at all, not in a way of not understanding how fortunate you are and how iconic you are and what that brings to the table, but in a way that is thoughtful and kind of looking at the past. And I think a lot of women are unable to do that

until they are a certain age. They are unable to admit that they would have liked or they're wondering what could have been if things had gone in a different direction. So I found that to be very powerful because people will always be like, oh no, no, no, everything that's meant to be is meant to be and that wasn't meant for me.

I find myself saying that a lot of times when things don't go my way. And it's more like it's part self convincing and part making sure you're not being a crybaby, right? Boom, O'Nane, yeah. Right, so talk to me a little bit about that. Express to our listeners like how you came about admitting to even feeling that

and then wanting to write about it for other women. You know, it's something that I've pined for, you know, and has pained me for so long. And there's this validation of my talent, right? And it's not about looks or beauty or anything like that, because that I never put too much stock in because it was just a job. And also education was more important to me.

So I got fortified really quickly by going to college. So that was my version of rebellion just for myself. But you know, I've had the same therapist for quite some time and it's a theme that keeps coming back. And it's a theme that is, you know, what if, or I know I'm just famous and nobody thinks I'm really that talented, or well, thank God I found comedy

because that's what I do really well, but yeah, I still don't. And I started to, I always believed I was less than because I wasn't what these other actresses who were very serious were. And, you know, then I would work with some of them in a comedic setting, and I would see them struggle with comedy. And then I would think, oh, that's interesting.

We're different players on the same team. I don't play ball sports anyway. I mean, any kind of ball sports lately. No, lacrosse? Yeah, can you imagine? No, I can't imagine any of sports lately. No lacrosse? Yeah, can you imagine? No, I can't imagine any of us playing lacrosse. I'm still trying to figure out what lacrosse is, quite frankly. Yes, it's a lot of cribbing or something like that.

But I just like saying ball sports, because it just feels good coming out of my mouth, and I think it's funny. But this less than... And then this piece that I used to counteract it with, yes, but Brooke, not only you're a good comedian, but you also, you know, you've built this career and people trust you and you've got education

and you can write, and it was always a justification. And I thought, well, if I'm still doing this in my 50s, clearly I still have a problem with it. And I don't know if I'll ever get over it. I don't know. I don't even know if that's the kind of work I want to do. But to have not been chosen whenever I went out and tried for those parts, and then to be too famous and too recognizable to even be up for those parts, and then to be too famous and too recognizable to even be up for those parts. It always felt like this.

It may have not even been a missed opportunity. I may have never even thought that it didn't matter. It was how I demeaned my talent. You know, and I always focused on, well, I'm a survivor, and look, I'm healthy. I'm not a total train wreck and that's because of education and parents. And my therapist would say, you got to give yourself some credit for your innate character. You do have innate character that sees things and chooses the way you choose.

She said, you're not just a product of your parents or society or the press or your history. She's like, there is something that's Brooke in there that is just her. You know, and that kind of was like, what? That is a new concept. But this, the pining for being seen like the actresses I admire was so persistent for so long. I could work on all the other stuff and just feel good about it.

But I just recently had the opportunity to act in front of basically, it was hardly opposite because I had all the dialogue. Two very prominent female, brilliant, award-winning, lovely women. One is in her late 60s, early 70s, one I'm a little bit older than. And the women I admired and I've known over the years met immediately, everybody. And I got asked to do this one, it's two days, but we just did one day so far in front of them. And it involved only emotion and only tears and only all this stuff that makes me cringe.

And I thought, oh, well, don't do it. You don't wanna do it. You don't wanna embarrass yourself. You can't do it. And then I thought, I can well, don't do it. You don't want to do it. You don't want to embarrass yourself. You can't do it. And then I thought, I can't say no to this opportunity when for decades, I've been asking for the opportunity. Now all of a sudden I get it and I'm not going to say yes because of fear. What your pussy, like, what are you doing?

Like, I was just so, there were so many emotions. And I went there and I came out of the gate a little too hot because I was trying and I was nervous and I was sweaty. Then I just sat down and said, you know what, they're not going to fire you. You're in one day. They obviously think you can do it. They don't want to look bad and have it be your fault. They don't really care about you,

not the actresses but the production. I don't even know about you, not the actresses, but the production. I don't even know what the real name of the production is, believe it or not, cause it's also top secret. And I thought, you don't want to burn bridges, you know, or just do it, just do it. And I went to the director and I said, I think I'm trying to do too much and I don't think it's right.

I said, cause I have a theory about this. And she said, I was coming over to tell you that right now. She said, you don't have to try hard. She said, it's all there and we're watching it. She said, just trust and just do it. And what happened at the end of the day after having to do it over and over and over again, was I got validation. And I'm not ashamed to say I needed it. I was a little girl in those moments. I was

a little girl with those actresses and I was a little girl with, you know, Mommy and Daddy, the director. And each one of the women in their own way gave me like a, and they gave it to me as if, you know, you did a good job. I heard it as they thought I did a good job, right? Which was what I needed at that moment. And I knew it too, I did. But I didn't, I wasn't really open to hearing it. The director came up to me after a 16 hour day

and she said, that was really beautiful. And I said, oh, thank you. Thank you. I'm glad it worked out and thank you for having me. And then she went, no, no, no. She's from Germany. She's talking, put your hands on my shoulder. She said, I think you need to hear this. You blew me away. And that was it. And thank you for being open. And I just, I needed that. Yeah. You know, and then whether I do any more of that again, I probably don't even really covet it in the same way. And should I be ashamed that I needed three women to, you know, was I lucky that I got that chance? Yes. But I also just needed to know it from myself

and without even getting it from them. What the director said was icing on the cake because at the end of it, now I called my husband before I heard any of that and I just said, he's like, how'd you do? I said, I did it. I did it. I didn't say enough out of the park and I'm going to get you know, little gold men just all over the place.

But it didn't matter about that anymore. It didn't matter about awards. It didn't matter about those things that as a little girl and going to the Academy Awards, sitting in the back, back, back up nosebleed seats and thinking one day I'm going to get there one day. Like that silliness and to just say, you know what? I'm okay and I am good enough. And I can release that from myself

and just like can release it, which was just, I mean, it was a pretty extreme, great way to get it. I have to say, I would have liked, I mean, I would still be working on getting it without such obvious validation. But I no longer have the same pining that I used to. And I also look at my life now, and I definitely would not have the life, I would not be able to live the life that I'm living, had I not had the level of fame and access. If I had just been on the path that I thought I was going to be on, you know, the Natalie Portman path when she did the professional, which was sort of her pretty baby, you know, and,

and working with the Louis Miles and Zaffirelli's and really being in that, ensconced in that world and then all of a sudden, turned on its head and you've got dolls made after you, you know. It always rocks me. I think anyone can relate to that whole notion of thinking that you're going to be going in one direction and finding out that that's not your destiny. And then also embracing what your destiny is, which is something you've also done. I just recently said no to singing opposite Cynthia Erivo in Lincoln Center, and I was begged to do it.

And I mean, what idiot would say no to that? And I turned it down and I said, you know what, this is not my strength, my forte. I would have loved to have said I did it. I'm okay not having your vocal prowess. Like I'm okay. And that's another piece too, is really knowing like knowing what your strengths are. And I think that that's an important thing

to be willing to admit, yeah, I'm not that great at that. I'm fine with it. And they wanted me for some reason, but, you know, walking away from something too, that you just know in your heart of hearts, you won't be able to soar with, is a very new concept for me. So I just wanted that. Yeah, no, I love that. I love that.

So we're going to take a break. I'm going to be right back with Brook Shield. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's gonna be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How to Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe

you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right, how to money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast.

And this January, we're going on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, Tech's biggest conference. Better Offline's CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or the biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025, interrogating their narratives alongside a remarkable cast of industry talent and award-winning journalists. We'll have daily episodes, on-the-ground interviews, and special panels covering everything

from the BS of AI to the ways in which race and gender play into how people are treated in the tech industry and at these conferences. I'll be joined by David Roth of Defecta and the writer Edward Ongweiso Jr. with appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here here's Gare Davis and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from and check out betteroffline.com. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager, responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened

and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Krems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeart Radio

app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Brooke. Okay, so you started a brand, well, it started with, you wanted a community to build community with commence, which is something that you had been thinking about doing for women over 40 who are going through all of the same things, all of the same

emotions, all of the feelings of kind of stepping into who you really are, which is something, you know, it sounds very cliche, but I mean, I'm 49. I'm going to be 50 in a couple of months. I've never been happier in my life because I understand now where the joy is and to go after that instead of going after all of the other stuff that we think we have to go after to make us relatable or relevant or successful. Like now I know where...

Or happy. Yeah. I don't make, I don't date idiots. I don't do stupid things like I used to when I'm younger. So the joy and the power of aging is more than what we've been talking about, more than what we've been hearing about for the last many years about your confidence and about your sexual prowess

or how you come into your own. It's more than that. It's more, it's about, and this is a word that you use a lot too, which I use a lot in my book that's not out yet, but joy, finding joy, finding joy in everything you that's not out yet, but joy, finding joy, finding joy in everything you do, enjoying your life, especially where you at the stage you're in where your girls

are gone, they're often doing their thing and you have to rediscover what are the things that make you happy and prioritizing yourself and also saying no to all of the bullshit that we've said yes to our whole lives because we want to please other people. And then you've also had this hair brand because everyone loves your hair, obviously. You have the most famous hair and it's for women who are fitting, who are going through menopause, going through perimenopause, dealing with hair thinning. Do you want to talk a little bit about commands, Brooke? Yeah, I started it as the community to really empower women to age joyfully.

I mean, joy was a word we've always had with us. And joyfully, and we say fearlessly, but it's not a call to action, it's not pressure. It's just, there's joy to be had, and we've done so much in our lives. Whatever it is, we've gotten to this age. That's tremendous, right? You start having the conversations with women

and they are craving it and it's pervasive. And the women that I know who are over 40 are fabulous. And they are not so down on themselves. They're wondering what's next. And this sense of joy as to there's more to come is not what society or the beauty industry really is the narrative they're feeding us, right? And it's certainly not historical.

So we analyzed who we were as a brand and we said, you know what, we're not just a haircare brand, we're not just a beauty brand, we are a care brand. It is, you know, we always say take care. And there's a lot that means that take care of yourself, take care to be listening to yourself. Take care when it's offered. And be good to you.

Like, find where you are joyous and cut out the people and the things and the experiences and the time sucks that are out there. And let's see what we would do with this extra time or how we'd feel. But we started to develop hair care with very strategic, smaller groups with very, very active ingredients working directly with the lab.

So we're not even a mastige, I guess they call it brand. We've kept it small, we've kept the price point very relatable and they deal with scalp health. Scalp health is a thing in women that changes most dramatically. The actual follicle, the root where it goes into the pore actually shrinks, it's so fair, the things that shrink when you get older and the things that drop and get bigger.

Hair is one of them. Your scalp health, there's patchiness of dry, hormonal reactions, hormonal changes, luster, all of these things. And we went a deep dive and we created about six products that dealt with addressing scalp health and therefore hair health from the root out. So that is, that is the one piece we will be moving into other categories.

I don't want to become just a hair care brand or just proliferate that and then just hold up things and say, buy this because I said it, I put my own money into it, then I ran out of my own money. Then I had to raise money. Startups are brutal. And I spend more of my time trying to raise money and more of my time pivoting so that our team is amazing. I've never been a CEO.

I can't believe the things that are coming out of my mouth when I'm like going like this in a book and I'm just learning. And I'm coming into exactly the clarity that started the company when I started the community. And that is really solving all of what makes a woman's life, her life in this. And beauty is a big piece of it.

Body care is a big piece of it. You know, there's scent is a big piece of it. Body care is a big piece of it. You know, there's scent is a big piece of it. There's so many things that do give us joy that I used to think of as luxuries or Mount Arrakens. Or take for granted, right? I mean, we take for granted all of that stuff. We're frivolous to spend time on. Now my time, a lot of it gets spent on just me.

So the company is called to commence and the community is the commence community and they keep growing. Well, on that note, I think we should give some advice to callers, Catherine. Do we have time for a couple of calls? We have time for probably like one call. Okay, great.

Let's do it. Let's do it. Okay, so we have caller Dee Dee. She says, dear Chelsea, I'm a 28 year old married mother of two and I've always been close with my own mother. Don't get me wrong She was a good mom, but I probably could have used a mother more than a friend sometimes when growing up Nowadays we do a lot together She comes over almost every Saturday to watch football and drink beer

We go out and we even went to Chelsea's show in Atlanta a couple years back But since she hit menopause and started her hormone replacement therapy, she is like a cat in heat. She's always been one to look good and presentable. She's a beautiful woman and is no stranger to male attention. She was always cool and confident, not a try-hard. Now it seems like she needs every male's attention and females too. She overanalyzes every outfit and photo she's in and will ruin a whole outing with her mood if she feels she doesn't look amazing. She also drinks to excess and sometimes makes a fool of herself. If she isn't drunk, she's irritable. I have two young kids. All their grandparents are dead besides her. I thought she might enjoy stepping into her grandmother

role and being there for me in ways she wasn't when I was a teen, but she's proving to me that all she cares about is happy hour with meaningless acquaintances. She's 51 and has never had a successful romantic relationship. She doesn't think she should have to answer for any of her bad behavior and brushes it under the rug or plays the victim when I call it out. We don't have the best history with communication,

but for the past few years, I've really worked on myself and how I handle my relationships and I wish she could do the same. How do I tell my mom she's letting me down without the message being completely lost? I'd love to hear from you ladies, signed disappointed daughter. Hi, disappointed daughter.

Hi. Hi. Hi, this is our special guest today, Brooke Shields. Hi, so nice to meet you. Hi. Nice to meet you. She's a mother of two daughters, so I'm sure she can relate to some degree to this. Well, that's really tough. It's really hard when your mom is embarrassing, but-

All moms are embarrassing, I have to say. This is true. All parents are embarrassing. I got earful last night. You're annoying. You're just annoying. I know, and we've been through all that. I don't want to be mean to her by any means, but...

No. And I don't think judgment from your children is how that this, this kind of phase of her life is how she's going to either snap out of it or grow up a little. I don't think it's going to come from you. Because it's really hard, Brooke, I would imagine, to take criticism from your children and judgment. And for the most part, that's sort of their job. I mean, I have 18 and 21, and they're not moms yet, but they also, they are, one is, in particular,

is full of judgment, and it's constant. And her version of it is she knows she needs to individuate for me and she doesn't know how to do it. So she fights me to hate me and then it can justify her leaving. But I feel like as the age your mom is, I think she's scared. I think she's feeling that about herself. She's watching you. I don't know how old your baby is, but as you watch your daughter sort of launch pad into this vibrant area of their lives and your ovaries and everything is going to work for you and you are watching your what you think is your demise, right? It's very unsettling

to see and to see the beauty in your daughter, and then to look in the mirror and not see the same thing. And then you step outside and the world attacks you for being 50. You're over the hill, you're this, you're not represented. You're either this 20-year-old girl at the bar or you're into pens and dentures. That's what they have relegated us to. Right. And I think that it's, I don't know.

I mean, again, I don't give advice, but what I will say is that the times that my mom, my children, because I've, my mom was in a very different broken place and she was older, but the times that as a mom, I have been with my girls and they've looked at me and led with just love and said, I know it must be hard mom, but I think you're beautiful. Or they've said, wow, I think that you should like, don't put yourself down. Like you taught me to love myself.

You've got to, you taught me how to be like this. The problem is if she's so resistant, I mean, she has to do the work on herself because nothing you say that's positive is gonna make her like herself. No, but I do think positivity goes a long way in helping people face themselves. Like judgment doesn't do, you know,

you just create resistance. You create like, oh, I'm gonna rebel against you. And even though you are in more of the mother role, like you guys kind of sounds like you have flipped your roles. And you are a mother, and I'm assuming you're responsible. And she's seeing that. I think everything Brooke said is spot on. Like, I think you have to really look at her

with some compassion and understanding of what she might be going through. And instead of the judgment, I have a friend who's dealing with this with their mother, very similar circumstances. And she really did just flip the script. She's like, no, I'm just going to go at her with compassion and love and tell her about all the wonderful things about her until she really starts to believe them herself. And when she does start to believe them herself, she is going to be a little bit different. And there are different ways, you know, you can do that too with books

and hopefully encouraging her to, you know, do some therapy. Maybe you can volunteer to do some therapy with her. Just to push her and to get, like, not because something is wrong, but to push her to really find out what her purpose is, right? Like, to experience this life in the best way. She's now in her best way. She's in now in her 50s. This is a whole new opportunity to have a whole new life. You know, I look

at 50s kind of like a reset. Yeah. And that's kind of how I saw it. I was like, why is she spending so much time worrying about validation from others and or how she looks and this and that when it's like this could be such a big beautiful Awaiting time, but yeah, she's not feeling it herself. Yeah nailed you nailed it with what you said Brooke and She has been kind of like I started reading more again and she was like, oh like she asked me recently kind of What's do I have a recommendation or whatever and I was like, oh so she is kind of I notice kind of what's, do I have a recommendation or whatever? And I was like, oh, so she is kind of, I noticed kind of picking up on, you know, just kind of, if you want, I'm kind of being the example.

You know, like how many people do I need to be an example for? But if that's what I need to do to get my mom to see her full potential and beauty and everything, then I'm absolutely willing to. And you're thankful for, I mean, what I've said worked for me is whenever my daughters will say something like, well, mom, you know, I got that from you. It doesn't give me anything to fight against because I love what I see in her.

And then she's attributing it to, well, you know, that's what you should, I want you to feel what I feel. And I wouldn't be able to feel these things had you not taught me that I could feel this good about myself or, and even in therapy, you have to be really careful because it should be like, I would love this for me. And then, you know, otherwise they feel attacked and it's like a, you know, like an intervention and you're there to tell them everything

they're doing wrong. And the flipping of it is so, I tell my younger daughter, tug of war only works if both people are pulling, right? And so you don't do it and you lead with this kind of kindness because they're not hearing any of that kindness reflected back to them when they look in the mirror. They're seeing just what they're not. They're not this enough, they're not hearing any of that kindness reflected back to them when they look in the mirror.

They're seeing just what they're not. They're not this enough, they're not young enough, they're not thin enough, they're not that enough, they have too many wrinkles, blah, blah, blah, and the tapes just keep going. And the more you're reflected to her as in like, wow, I'm on this, you know, but this is, I learned so much and I got this and, and it's so much fun. And why don't we start our own little book club? And then you could talk about characters, and then you're not talking about yourself. Like, there's, there's ways. Start with Brooke's book. This is a great book for you and your mother to read together. That's about aging. And it's funny.

And, and yeah, it's about her relationship with her daughters and how she's stepping into her own confidence over the course of her life at different ages and kind of the various bursts of self-empowerment that women receive and experience. This is a great thing. Start reading books with your mom and start finding books that are actually going to have an impact on her perspective and her value.

She doesn't feel valuable right now. Right. And you're gone. That was my next question, is if you have any book recommendations, so that's perfect. There are lots of others too. Oh, well, I was planning on reading yours anyway,

and I'm excited. Oh, okay, well, I mean, I'm just, thank you. We just had Mel Robbins on the podcast, she wrote a book called Let Them, which is really about letting other people do their shit and stop trying to control other people and letting them, which is good for you and good for your mother because-

Yeah, you could read it together. I don't want you to think like, oh, this is such an onus on me. You already have to take care of your children and now you have to take care of your mother. Listen, we're given as much as we can handle. Clearly your mom, like you're more in a more capable position right now in this moment in time

than your mother is. So take that responsibility on with joy. That is a great gift that you're able to give to your mother. Not a burden. Don't look at it like that, because you'll resent it. Right. You don't want to resent your mother. You want to help your mother.

You want her to flourish. So think of some other activities that you guys can do together that don't involve happy hour or don't involve going to a bar. Maybe you do join an actual book club. Maybe you find some other activities where she can meet people or it's a social environment, but it's not all about the drinking

and just hanging out and doing nothing. And a lot of drinking is about avoidance. I mean, it's pretty obvious and clear. And she feels sexier when she's drinking. And she comes out of her shell, and she becomes that image of what she used to be. And who she is is not just enough. It's beautiful.

She's got to feel that love for her own actual self. And I think it's a very fraught period of she's threatened right now that her value is just being diminished. Yeah, all I want for her is to see that for herself, see her how I see her and see her full potential. So thank you guys. That was awesome advice. Oh, good. Good. I'm so glad you called in. Me too. Have a great holiday too.

You too. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Okay. We're going to take a break and we'll be right back to wrap up with Brooke Shields. Have a great holiday too. You too. Thanks, JD. Happy holidays. Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right back to wrap up with Brook Shields. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's gonna be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How to Money. We wanna be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year,

offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending. Or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon.

Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, Tech's biggest conference. Better Offline's CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or the biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025, interrogating their narratives alongside a remarkable cast of industry talent and award-winning journalists.

We'll have daily episodes, on-the-ground interviews, and special panels covering everything from the BS of AI to the ways in which race and gender play into how people are treated in the tech industry and at these conferences. I'll be joined by David Roth of Defecta and the writer Edward Ongweiso Jr. with appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever else you get your podcasts from and check out betteroffline.com. John Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and

insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the shows, correspondents, and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed?

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager, responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction.

Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls, and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community, and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Krems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back with Brooke Shields. Okay, so how do people find Commence? If you just look up ShopCommence, all lowercase, shopcommence.com, C-O-M-M-E-N-C-E, and it's all about really the new beginnings and beginnings of this era and being as joyful and healthy and just in our lives and proud of who we are. And are you still doing the groups too, if people wanna join in on the groups? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanna bring books into it as well

and really have it be a world of care. I love it, I love it. And Brooke's new book is, Brooke Shields is not allowed to get old, Thoughts on Aging as a Woman. It is out, it'll probably be out as soon as you hear this podcast, I'm sure. By the time we put this out,

it will be available at all places, all bookstores. And I was going to say wherever you listen to your podcast. And then I'm like, this is a book and this is not a podcast. Well, no, and my podcast didn't get renewed. So I don't have that on my plate, which is fine. But I went into the audio recording of the book. So the book is also on Audible and audio and it's all me. Okay, well it was-

You want to listen to me anymore? We do, we do. We always want to listen to you, Brooke. I totally appreciate your time today. Thank you so much. Congrats on everything. Please say hello to your lovely husband, Chris Henshie, for me. I will, I will, I will. You look like you're in a cozy place. I wish I was there. I am. I'm in my happy place now. Have a great day. Okay?

Thank you. You too. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast.

Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon,

listen to How To Money on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, Tech's biggest conference. Better Offline's CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth at Defecta and the writer Edward Ongweiso Jr. with guest

appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. John Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the shows, correspondents, and contributors.

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You are cordially invited to the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Fe, featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club.

Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.