Dear Chelsea - California Sober feat. Demi Lovato

Episode Date: May 20, 2021

Chelsea and Brandon help callers navigate the minefield of substance use and abuse, with a little expert assistance from friend Demi Lovato. A diligent worker might be getting help from cocaine. A good friend wants to provide support for her newly sober bestie. A yogi does lines of ketamine to withstand a relationship. And a stoner wants to take a break to reset. The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

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Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, hello, a good afternoon or wherever you get your podcasts. I was not upbeat. I was not my normal chipper self. No, no. And that's because you were robbed. Yes, I was robbed. Robbed. Not once, but... Twice. In one day. That's right. So he obviously has to move. But other than that, the great update, because you've been in Hawaii all week, so a lot of things have transpired, Brandon. There's been a lot going on. And I came home to the news that the gentleman, who is my neighbor, who robbed me... The perpetrator.

He was arrested and it didn't look like justice was going to be served. But we had a Jennifer Lopez type of D.A. or detective detective. You reference Jennifer Lopez. She's been on the brain. Yeah, apparently she stopped by and she let us know that she was definitely going after him and going to pursue charges. And she did. And when that happened. Jennifer Lopez? Yes. J-Lo herself descended upon his house with the SWAT and a fucking helicopter to arrest him.

That is exciting. Isn't that juicy? I mean, I just thought like, you know, someone would sweep by, pick him up, put him in the back of a cop car. But no, they did a full like descent on his home. And he was arrested. So gratifying after that fucking asshole stole from you. Not once. He stole from him like a year ago. He broke into their house. Then he came back again. And then he came back again. His friends came back later that day after Brandon chased him down the street

and apprehended him himself. The police were like, there's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do unless you catch him in the act, which you did. I did. But then I guess. I've realized that the law is very intricate, that there are a lot of levels to the protections for people, which I understand. However, I fucking caught this guy with the stolen goods, and there was still not much that could be done

until again, this detective came in on her white horse to save the day. And now I have to go testify. I'll get to take the sand. Oh, I can't wait for that. I'm very excited. That is like a courtroom draw. There's nothing I love more than a courtroom drama. The law and order SVU moment I've been waiting for for so long. Well, it's just so gratifying because it really felt like the police were not going to do anything about this because of this no bail rule that we have in Los Angeles, which means that you can get arrested for a nonviolent crime, but then you're booked and released the same day. Yes, it's an immediate release, which, again, I understand components of all of these things now. And I had a very bad attitude. I was

mean to basically everyone I encountered the day we were robbed. I was screaming at every police officer who I had to interact with. And so I'd like to apologize for my behavior. That's nice. That's nice. Nobody needs to be yelled at. No, I do understand that there are, everyone's trying to do their job. Everyone, I think, wants justice to be served. But because there's been injustice for so long, we now have to course correct. And again, it can go too far one direction or another. But we'll find the appropriate footing, I think.

Well, so how did you find out about the arrest? The detective emailed while we were away and let us know what was going on and what charges. He's being charged with three felonies. Oh, good. Maybe whatever his name is. I don't want to say his name. That's not really fair. Hopefully he'll get his shit together. I spoke to him very compassionately while it was happening, even. While you were apprehending him? Yes, that this is not the life you want to live. There is so much more opportunity than robbing your neighbors. And, I mean, he was on drugs, but I think he heard me.

He'll hear me in court. Well, actually, you probably, by that time, yeah. I mean, you're probably going to have, you already have empathy for him, so you probably will. You have to have empathy for people. Actually, my car, since I've lived here, I've lived in LA for six years. My car has been broken into three times every time it's around Christmas. And I just try and remind myself that when it happens, because it's so fucking annoying, that whoever is doing that doesn't want to be doing it, that they're in a position where they feel like this is their only option. And it's the holidays. Like who knows if they're doing it for their family to get gifts.

So you try and lead with empathy in these things. But well, more on a happier note, though, you just came back from like your first vacation since I've met you. Yes. Your first real vacation vacation. And thank you so much for you did not bother me one time. No, I didn't. I didn't want to. I wanted you to enjoy your time in the sun. literally. I did. I had a great time traveling during. We're still in a pandemic. We're on the tail end, seemingly, of the last year's quarantine. And so traveling felt a little strange. And it seemed like we went to Oahu.

It seemed like they wanted it so badly to be wrapped up, but it still wasn't. So there was social distancing. There was, you know, capacities at every restaurant. Limited capacities, you mean? Limited capacities. So we just spent most of our time on the beach, which is exactly what we were there for, which was nice. And did Sweetheart try to surf? I did try to surf. And it was so fucking hard.

And, you know, I really pride myself on being able to, like, lean into any sort of athletic activity and do well. I did not do well with surfing. Oh, Sweetheart. My body was not responding. You know, I could have told you that sweethearts can't surf. I tried to surf once in Portugal and I ended up with literally my breasts. Well, they were exposed, which obviously everyone knows is not a big deal for me. But in the way that they were exposed, it wasn't my choice. My bathing suit basically almost decapitated me, my bathing suit top, because the waves were so quick in quick succession that I couldn't get my

bearings. And I know that when you strap the leash to your ankle, it's supposed to be for your safety. But all I wanted to do was get that fucking leash off my ankle. And all I could do was rip it off. And the guy, my surf instructor who didn't speak English and I don't speak Portuguese, was saying like gesticulating, don't take off the rope. Don't take off the rope. I'm like, fuck this rope. Fuck. And then I just swam into shore. And by the time I got to the beach, my bikini top was around my neck. The bottom was gone. Just I was bottomless. Just soaked. I just covered in sand. And I looked like a sand dab. Actually, I looked like somebody who had been dipped in sand and then was waiting to be fried. And it was humiliating. And I'll never forget my friend's boyfriend came running over to help me cover my Pikachu because it was out because I had no bathing suit bottom.

But it was by far the most humiliating beach experience. Oh, no, actually, I did have another humiliating beach experience. I also once went to Oahu with my sister Show, and she and I went to the North Shore. And we thought, because we've grown up in Martha's Vineyard and we've had a lot of swimming. South Beach is rough. And we thought we knew what was up. And we went out and there were all those signs on the beach saying, like, no swimming. But we didn't.

Sweetheart couldn't be bothered. I couldn't be bothered with that. So we went in and then as soon as we felt the riptide, we were like, oh my God, what the fuck? And we were holding each other and holding each other. And then we had to ride in the waves to get out of, you know, to get out of the ocean. And we had to time it.

Finally, I just let go of her hand. I'm like, everybody's on their own. I'm like, each man for herself. And then I, and it was the same scene running like in slow motion to the safety of the beach. And when we got to the shore, everyone was on the beach screaming at us that we shouldn't have been swimming in the water. And then someone thought I was Pam Anderson because at that time I was like white blonde hair with just huge tits. And I pretended I was, and I just took a bunch of pictures with some

Japanese tourists. I'm sure they love that. Yeah. So that was fun. But yeah, that was another bad ocean experience. The ocean can be very scary. Yeah. I love being on the water. I am so relaxed when I'm there. But if you go out too far, it's very menacing. Like you get past a point of no return. Like, wait, can I make it back to shore? I think I've gone too far. Right. And it's also a giant toilet. Yes. So that's disgusting because when you really think about what's in the ocean, it's not great. No, it's the opposite of great. And the critters and the creatures that are in the ocean are also, you know. Well, that's what I did like about Hawaii is that there are no questionable animals out and about. Well, you said you had a baby pup, a seal in her pup in front of your hotel.

Yeah, but there's no like snakes. So you should love Hawaii. Oh, yeah. That's actually one of my favorite things about Hawaii is that there are no snakes. You don't have to worry about anything. They don't have any snakes in New Zealand either, by the way. Oh, there was a shark. God, that was scary.

Sorry. We kind of like debriefed on the way here i totally forgot to tell you there's a fucking shark of course there was well i did not think i have an unreasonable fear of sharks when we went to spain you had to tell me that there were no sharks in that portion of the sea so i would get in well there weren't but with global warming they're coming in closer to places that they shouldn't be and what you do if you see a shark is you hop on the back of it and hold onto the fin like it's a ride. You mount it and just hope for the best. That's what I do. Well, that's advice for everyone. Well, where was the shark? So we had just left the hotel at this little private beach, and this is where the seal and

her pup were nesting. And we had just gone up. We looked over the balcony. We were on the highest floor to see the mom and her pup. The fucking shark had come in to shore. I'm assuming to try and get it. And it just swam around for a few minutes and went on its little way. I mean, it's probably like six or seven foot. It wasn't huge, but too big for me to be fucking comfortable getting back in over there. Yeah, yeah.

Well, when they're seals, they're sharks. I was like, that's bait. I don't need any of that action. How come the shark didn't get the pup or the seal? Well, because I think they had gone too far offshore. Oh, they knew. They were sunning. Yeah. It must be hard to be constantly on the lookout of being fucking eaten. Well, I guess that's what people have to deal with now with sharks.

I like when people say, oh, well, sharks aren't here to eat people. It's like, well, they keep fucking trying to. So who gives a shit what their M.O. is? They're eating us. These sharks and these whales are much smarter than people give them credit for. Have you seen all these reports about these whales like when they hit

the side of the boat and they take the propeller off and then they try and sink the boat? It's like a conscious effort. Really? It's like Moby Dick. Yeah, they're smart.

What I didn't understand in Moby Dick was when they had all these little boats and when they would go whaling, you know, they're like little tiny, like almost like the equivalent of like a teepee, but on water floating boat for the pool and they would harpoon the whales. And it's like, why don't the

whales just buck up against the boat? But maybe what's happening with the whales and the propeller is evolution because whales now are hip to it and are like, hey, stop fucking harpooning us. Well, we need to be more respectful of the sea creatures and the ocean itself. I mean, it's really disgusting when you see all of the wash up of all these. The garbage and all those pyres. Is that what they're called, pyres? Or is that an Indian funeral? Piles?

Pyres. Yeah, I think they're called pyres. It did give me a different appreciation for Mallorca as well. Because of all the great jellyfish they have there? Because I was also stung by jellyfish. I mean, I didn't realize it. I don't know if you can even see it anymore. I got out and I was looking at my arm.

I was like, oh, my arm feels hot. Did I burn it on a curling iron? We didn't have a curling iron, so I knew that wasn't it. It would have been great if you did have a curling iron and you brought it to the beach. And he was like, oh, no, you were stung by a jellyfish. He goes, but, you know, a lot of times their toxins aren't, like, intense enough to hurt you. And he's like, well, do I need to pee on it? I was like, I don't want you to.

But so he did. I'd rather you didn't. He did anyway. Yeah, I figured. While I was fully clothed. That doesn't really make a difference. Okay, so what do we got on tap today, sweetheart? Drugs. Sobriety. Oh, sobriety. Okay. Well, that's boring, but necessary for some people. Well, let's find out who it's necessary

for. Okay. Well, before we get to sobriety, it feels like you want to take a break. I feel like we should take a break and mentally prepare. Okay. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really Know Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer.

We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend.

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And you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You've done special on drugs, so people often ask you for your advice or input on drugs. And this is something that's pretty consistent across the board. So Scott writes in and he says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a big fan of recreational cocaine, and it's gotten to the point where I find myself microdosing at work. My colleagues and my boss have both commented on how productive I've been over the past few weeks. However, they are unaware of the fact that I'm very much high. Is it a bad thing if it's helping me at work? Thanks, Scott.

Oh, wait. Microdosing cocaine. Yes, he's microdosing cocaine. I don't know. Microdosing cocaine is excellent. Okay, read it micro-dosing cocaine. I don't know. Micro-dosing cocaine is excellent. Okay, read it one more time. Let me just listen to it. Okay. Dear Chelsea, I'm a big fan of recreational cocaine, and it's gotten to the point where I find myself micro-dosing at work.

My colleagues and my boss have both commented on how productive I've been over the last few weeks. However, they are unaware of the fact that I am very much high. Is this a bad thing if it's helping me at work? This is a real predicament for Scott. Because the results are positive. And so it's very tricky to give him sound advice, certainly. I mean, he raises a point that why are you to microdose certain drugs? But those drugs are psychedelic drugs. And cocaine is like a narcotic. What is it, a class three narcotic?

I couldn't tell you. I mean, there's really no good argument or science data driven that cocaine is good for you. I mean, I can't imagine that that's an easy feat throughout the day to just be doing a line in the bathroom. Yeah, I know. And it's dirty and it's gross and you're snorting it through your nose. So, like, mixing that in the workplace, as much as I would like to be an advocate for that, I have to say that it's not okay. You're on a slippery slope because also you just don't know what kind of cocaine you're getting and whether you like it

or not doesn't tell you what people are using to put in it and cut it with. And like you're polluting your body, you know, and you can pollute your body in so many other ways that are less illegal, less damaging. And as we know, Chelsea believes that your body is a temple and it should not be tainted. And your body is. Yeah, exactly. Your body is a temple. That's what I'm going with. All right, Scott, I hope that that. No, no, no. Wait. No. Hold on. The cocaine use to that degree is not recommended for anyone. Scott, you you got to like dial it back and find something else that gives you the pep in your step. I know cocaine feels good and you like it for the moment. It

will not last like that. It won't. So this is a hard question. So what do you take when you need a little perk up? Well, I take one of my energy drinks, like a five-hour energy drink. Yeah, you love a five-hour energy drink. Well, I don't love it. It's just, it's a necessary evil. It's a necessity, yeah. I don't love the way it tastes. I don't love the fact that I need it. But you know what? I also like this matcha green tea. This guy's not going to, this guy is saying matcha. He's set on coke. Saying matcha to this guy is like saying melatonin to me. You know, it's a moot. So do try a five-hour energy because that does give me a jolt. But yeah, lay off the Coke at work. What would you think if I started to do drugs at work? Well, you are doing drugs at work, I presume.

I am. I mean, you take edibles and stuff, don't you? Can you imagine if you walked in on me just doing Coke at the kitchen counter? Honestly, at this point, Brandon, I really just would, I wouldn't even mind. Like, I would be like, if that's what you need to do to get you through the day, I would be surprised. I definitely would be surprised that you were blowing lines at the kitchen table. I've never done Coke before, but I often think that I would like to try because I've become... I don't think you have the personality for Coke. Well, and I trust your recommendation, so I'll steer clear. Yes, we've had lengthy discussions about different drugs and what you'll thrive under, and that is not one of them.

No. Mushrooms, on the other hand, which you introduced me to, have been very positive. Have you been doing the chocolate mushrooms lately? Not often, but yeah, I keep a chocolate bar in the fridge. Yeah, I took a chocolate mushroom the other day, and it had the adverse effect of putting me in a good mood because I was going to work out with Ben Bruno and I need something, you know, to do that for an hour. It's like I need to be stoned. A lobotomy. Yeah, or a lobotomy. And so I took a piece of chocolate and I went over there and he was extra annoying on that day. So it almost turned my mushroom. It did. Even though I can't blame it on someone else, I will. It turned my mushroom experience around because Ben, you know, he's me. He can ruin anything.

Yeah. That's like the first time. Well, first and only time I took Molly. I took it and I went to like my first like gay warehouse party where everyone's dancing. There's no words in the music, which is the fucking worst. Yeah. And I walk in and immediately everyone's very touchy and feely. And I guess that's what Molly is supposed to do. And I was highly irritable, like a 14 out of 10. I walk in and I go,

first of all, it smells like fucking taco seasoning in here. Everyone has BO. I want to get out. And then people come up and they're like rubbing on you and they're touching you. And I just look this guy in the face. I go, do not touch me. I go, whatever you're feeling, I'm not feeling. I wish I were because this is so unenjoyable. That's weird that you had that reaction to Molly. Now I don't feel like I need to do it again. But yeah were because this is so unenjoyable. That's weird that you had that reaction to Molly. I know. Now I don't feel like I need to do it again. Yeah. Well, yeah, that's too bad because Molly is fun.

I did some Molly when I was in Canada. It was really fun. You see, you always have a good time, I feel like. Yeah, well, I set my intention and that's to have a good time. Now I'll know for next time. Oh, and for clarification purposes, we did look it up. Cocaine is a level two. Grade two. Grade two. Grade two narcotic. So I misspoke as usual.

Okay. Our next submission comes from Shane. He is 30 years old out of California. He writes, Dear Chelsea, I've been smoking weed since I was 17. I'm almost 31. Oh, shit. And no matter how many times I try and smoke less, I fail. Shane. I feel like a month long break would benefit me as I don't really get high anymore. This sounds just like, is this you, sweetheart? Let me see. All three of my roommates partake, so there's always weed and bongs, pipes, and paraphernalia around the house.

What do I do, Shane? Oh, Shane. Shane, this is a common issue. Luckily, you have sweetheart on the phone because she deals with this. Shane, if you're not... Hi, Shane. How you doing? Good. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. You're so cute. You're so cute.

Do you work at MedMen? Are you there right now? No. If you are not getting high, you have to take a break. It's the only way to get your high back. You have to take a month off. So when I was developing this brand of weed that I still haven't released yet, they explained to me that you can either take a week, a month off or a month, a year off. And that is how you maintain the intensity of your highs. So I do that. I don't really do that. I have done it. I have done it and

it works. But if you really can't get high anymore, you need to take a break. I don't know what to tell you about your roommates. It's going to involve some serious willpower. I have none. Okay. What are the, what are the repercussions of the Shane? I, you have a terrible memory, right? Is this correct? Yeah. You just spent the most crucial years infecting your brain or actually diminishing your brain capacity. So yeah, you got to take a break. I agree. I've been smoking since I was 17, even with my dad as a teenager. So it's like ingrained in my DNA at this point. Oh, okay.

What's quickly, what's 17 times 17? Fuck, I don't know. Exactly. How's your dad doing? How's his mental alacrity? Oh, he's way worse than I am. Okay, well, you should use that as an example of what not to do, right?

This is true. But he's also an alcoholic on top of that. So he's a lost cause. Well, he's doubling down. That's not going to be good for anyone. But there is still time for you. Are you an alcoholic too, Shane? No, just the pothead.

You don't drink? I drink, just not to that extent. Okay. So why don't you just focus on having a couple beers here and there instead of your weed for a month? I swear, if you do it, we should incentivize him somehow. There's no way to know if he's going to stick with this. He is a pothead. He's not going to remember, first of all. I mean, let's hear what the incentive is. I don't know. I was just thinking about what we could do to

incentivize you. I don't know. I didn't have anything because if I start giving out prizes to people, then that's what this podcast will be about. People will call him with fake problems, wanting, you know, I was going to offer you some cash but i realized i can't do that disclaimer shane only gets prize but there is still time for you to correct your memory loss like there are so many apps now that you can download in little like game and brain teasers and i do them all the time because i feel like you granted i don't smoke like you i would assume but he's not worried about that he's not worried about his brain capacity he's worried about actually not getting high anymore but if that's all that you're worried about, then there are bigger issues, Shane. I can guarantee you that. Shane! Without

a doubt. I'm worried about all of it. Okay, well, Shane, first of all, you're adorable. So you've got that going for you. And you called in to get advice. So you clearly are serious, right, about taking a break from weed. What can you do to give your, please don't call me ma'am. Okay. That is just not acceptable. Do you say ma'am or I am? I am. Yeah. Great answer. So what do you do for work? First of all, I work in an AV warehouse doing shipping, receiving and like deliveries and stuff. And I often forget to bring shit on deliveries. Right. Oh, AV, your favorite thing. You often forget to bring shit on deliveries. Right. Oh, AV, your favorite thing. You often forget to bring the actual equipment that you're supposed to deliver, right?

Pieces, yeah. Okay, so you need to think of this as an investment in your future. Like if you take this month off really seriously and assess your life and you are cognizant and kind of like take the month just to be real and present and not escape, like use it as escapism. You know, treat yourself to beers here and there. Obviously, don't go overboard on that either, because that's not really like a detox. But really try and take

a month off. I honestly think you're going to feel a lot differently about pot once you're done with it. Then you'll have both things. You'll have a clearer sense of like what your future is going to hold and a little bit more direction. And you'll also be able to get stoned a lot more easily. Yes, that sounds great. And it seems like I already know the answer to this. But are there reasons for your habitual use? Like, is it stress, depression, anxiety? Or are you just doing it all the time? Like you couldn't even tell me at this point? Who isn't stressed or depressed at this point, but it's just always there. Okay. I like go home at the end of the day and just get stoned and chill on my couch. And are you taking edibles at work? Are you stoned while you're working? Dude, edibles don't even affect me.

Yeah. Then you're really far gone. Then you really need the month. You might need a month and a half, but you do, you definitely need to get a little bit of a like clear idea of when you do it mindlessly like that, then it kind of has lost its luster, right? Yeah, yeah. I even like have it right here. Right, right. So yeah, I wish I had it right here. I wonder if there's any, I don't know.

Okay, well, I haven't had, I can't find any weed anywhere. I know this is a good practice for you too. Well, I'll do, maybe I'll go a month with him. What if I do it with you? Will that help you? I think that would. Okay, I can commit to a month of no weed. And are you, with you? Will that help you? I think that would. Okay. I can

commit to a month of no weed. And are you, are you guys going to do something in its place? Cause that's what I would think. Well, I'll just exercise Shane. What are you going to do? We're going to check in. We need to check in with him a little bit more regularly. Cause he's going to have a hard time with this. I'm going to actually, you know what, Shane, I'm going to have a hard time with this too, because I rely on edibles to go to sleep every night. And I'm just going to take it out of my repertoire for one month. Okay. I'll do it if you do it.

Okay. What's this holiday going to be called, Brandon? Doomsday for me, because of you. But I still have the chocolate mushrooms. Oh, great, great, great. Yeah. Okay. So do you need chocolate mushroom, Shane?

I actually have chocolate mushrooms in my kitchen. Okay. So those are fine during this time. Okay. Okay. Cool. Like a low dose, Shane. So what's the date? We'll just do a month from today, right? Okay. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to be talking about this on my Instagram and stuff. So watch, because I'm not going to fall off the wagon. I'm going to do 30 days. And if you fall off the wagon, you need to notify us. I would never fall off the wagon after I told you I'll do it. All right. Sounds good. Thanks, Shane. Thanks, Shane. Oh, Shane, real quick, actually. Wait, I hear that you used to steal Chelsea's books. Maybe. Shane, are you straight? No, I'm queer.

But I like everybody. Yeah. Okay, good. Okay, well, then I have a follow up to that, too. So I have multiple now, Shane. What is the difference in queer and pansexual would they be one in the same yeah to me at least i mean everybody's because it's like you can fall in love with anyone regarding their gender and what they were biologically at birth right yeah okay i'll never i'll never fucking understand well that doesn't work out because you're you're gay and you need to know these things for me. There's a lot to keep up with. It's hard to understand it all. Yeah, seriously.

Well, that's what Shane's here for, apparently. I got you. And what's the deal with the book? Oh, by the way, that also, you know, your semen count, Shane, also, if you want to have children one day, is deeply affected by marijuana abuse at that age. Here's the thing. I'm trans, so I don't have any semen. Oh, all right.

Well, there. That solves that. There you go. No wonder why you're so cute. Did you steal every book? Was this a one-off situation? No, it was just two. And they were used, so it was like, not full price.

So really, you were doing them a service anyway? I would encourage anybody who can steal any of my books to do so. They were great. That's good. I'm glad. I'm glad. That's what they're there for. Your enjoyment. Yeah, I used to sit in the mall and read them during lunch.

Oh, I love that. Keep us posted. We're going to check in. We'll figure out a time to get you back on. Okay. All right, Shane. Good luck.

Good luck, okay? Good luck to you, too. Together, we're doing it. I got it. Bye, Shane. Okay. Bye. Bye.

There is no fucking way that I'm going 30 days without any chance. Not a fucking chance. But I just made that Bye, Shane. Okay. Bye. Bye. There is no fucking way that I'm going 30 days without any chance. Not a fucking chance. But I just made that promise to him. I know, sweetheart, but things happen. I know. But what about the next caller that I make a promise to? We have to see.

Well, if it's not weed related, I would have much more faith in you. Okay. But, okay. I'm just thinking if I want to follow through on my word. Shane, I could do 30 days without pot and see what happens. What did you feel like happened after your binge at the beginning of the pandemic and your time in Whistler? Because you have pretty consistent use throughout the day, most days, right? I think there are times where I find myself to be extra stupid. That's when I'm really bored and I smoke pot. Like, I don't, this is why it's going to be good for me to take a month off. You need to do this, actually.

It's also that I'm easily influenced and I'm also don't remember things. Well, you simultaneously remember everything. Oh, also at the time that I took a picture, I was in someone's car in Whistler and I said, I really like this car and sent the video to Brandon. And he told me you already have this car. And most recently this weekend, I wasn't going to say anything, but it's a perfect segue here is you were looking for joints and I had told you where they were hours prior and you had gone to look for them. And I know this because we were on Marco Polo. And then you had said, sweetheart, where are the joints? And I told you again, and I said, I don't know if there's

going to be enough left. You said, oh, I've not ever looked for them. So I'm sure that it's fully stocked. Mind you, you had just done it hours before. So it's probably time for you to take a little break. That was a test, sweetheart. Okay. Okay, then. Well, so our next submission comes from Robin. She lives in Costa Rica. She's in her 30s, and she's a yoga teacher. I bet she serves in Costa Rica. Nobody lives in Costa Rica who doesn't serve. She writes,

Dear Chelsea, I went from a peace-loving yoga teacher to a raging maniac. Help. I was sober and single my entire 20s, as in no mind-altering substances, except for an occasional spliff and yearly ayahuasca retreats. Oh, that's a senior special. Maybe I know her. And sometimes a line in a homemade kombucha champagne cocktail for months. This is my question. If I have to do ketamine all day,

every day, and occasionally drink in order to tolerate the relationship I'm in, how much longer should I stay in said relationship? I know it seems like there is an obvious answer to this question, but I am guessing I'm asking sincerely because it seems like the only other options are, one, to be with someone who will literally bore me to death, or two, be with someone who will annoy me to death. Did you write this? I know. Is this your submission? I know. I was like, listen, you can't get away from people annoying you. You just have to learn how to cope with it, but not like this. Well, she finishes off, I guess I mostly just feel like the same thing will just keep happening, So it's not just tough it out and it will eventually get better. Robin. What's the P.S.?

Oh, she says, P.S. I'm actually in Costa Rica right now and have been sober for over a month, but I don't necessarily want to be. LOL. I do feel good, though. This really seems like a letter you would write. Well, yeah, if I were snorting ketamine every morning. Well, you could. Okay, Robin, is that her name? Robin, you have to stop snorting ketamine. Snorting anything is not good. No. And this is coming from somebody who has snorted lots of things. Don't snort ketamine.

Please, please do it for me. And if you have to do any of these things to be in a relationship, then these people are fucking idiots and you can't be around them. You can't drug yourself in order to tolerate people. Drugs should be an enhancer is what I've realized through Sweetheart, that it should just boost things. You shouldn't take them to cope with things all the time. Right. And let me be clear, because I talk about my use of cannabis

a lot as a coping mechanism. And this is true. I do. I do use cannabis as a coping mechanism. And I have. But I've also realized that, A, that's not the main reason I do use it. And I tried never to use it to cope with someone. I try not to have it as the reason, have someone as the reason that I need to smoke a joint or take an edible. You have to change your perspective about that. Right. You should be able. You just said you're feeling good. You've been sober for a month and you're feeling good. The proof is in the pudding. You just showed yourself that you don't have to operate in that way. All of these things will end up in flames. Dating any drug addict is going to end badly unless that person is working very hard to get sober. And you don't need to date a drug addict.

There are plenty of options for you to date people that are not drug addicts. And the other option is for you to remain alone and actually do some like soul searching and inner work so that you're not going to find yourself in a situation like this again. Sweetheart, do you need to weigh in? I just think that that was beautifully said. I don't know that there's ever an appropriate time to take drugs to manage your relationship. I think that that's... And stop snorting things. No snorting. No snorting. I wish I could make a snorting noise

with my schnauzer. There you go. Thank you, sweetheart. You're welcome. Please, Robin, just for me, stop that. Be alone. Why don't you give yourself three months to be alone and be sober? And I bet you at the end of that, you're going to have a lot of different thoughts than you do right now. Okay. So our next mission comes from Confused in California, 30 years old. They write, Dear Chelsea, I need some advice with a friend who's struggling with sobriety. My childhood best friend has recently acknowledged that she's an alcoholic. I live here in California and she lives in Rhode Island. I told her I'm so proud of you. I support you. I will do anything to help you. I researched counseling services and resources for her to start her sober journey and checked

in with her frequently on her progress. This enlightening moment was unfortunately short-lived as it quickly turned into an, oh, just one glass of wine tonight or I won't drink the entire bottle. Not today, Katie, I need to relax. I'm trying to remain positive and supportive, but I'm frustrated that I'm going to have to watch my friend slam into rock bottom. Do I need therapy? Do I need to cut her out of my life? And I am a enabler. Am I annoying? I'm so freaked out that the next phone call I have with her will be the last. Any advice or compassion on the issue would be a huge breath of relief. Hi, Anonymous. Hi, Chelsea. Hi, Brandon. Hi. Hi. Thanks for writing in. So how short-lived was your friend's sobriety? Well, it's back and forth and it's new. It's fresh.

I think this is her first time really acknowledging that there's a bigger issue that she wants to focus on. Since I wrote in, she has been making some big strides and some big steps on trying to find help and support and therapy. But I think really, unfortunately, in this country, mental health help can be so hard to find, especially if you don't have insurance or you don't have the right insurance. So she's trying and I'm trying to help her, but still new and fresh. Yeah. So you seem like a really good friend, eh? So there's that to be grateful for and proud of, right? Thank you. Yeah, yeah. I've had this experience. I was just with a friend this morning who recently got sober,

well, like, you know, six months ago, but she went to rehab. There was a big intervention. I had told her, myself, that there was a problem, and then she had a big intervention, and that's when she went to rehab, and she came out out and she is living the high life. She's like, this is the best adventure I've ever been on is sobriety. So there is hope for all of these people, you know, so don't ever give up on people, first of all, because people do change just when you least expect it. Sometimes they change, you know, when they hit their rock bottom. Some people don't need to hit a rock bottom. So first and foremost, there are tools for you to know about. Oh, oh, my God.

This book that's sitting right here, Set Boundaries, Find Peace, A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself. Look at this book. I just picked this up because it was about codependence and counterdependence. And it really explains because I'm like, oh, I'm not codependent. And it's like, well, when you enable somebody and you make their problems your problems and you talk about their problems like they're your problems, that is codependent. That's huge codependent. I think I suffer from counterdependency, which we'll get into later because this isn't really about me right now. Sometimes I forget.

But you don't want to be a codependent friend, right? You don't want to enable her. But you do want to be supportive of her. And so that if she does make a mistake, there's not anything punitive from you as a friend. It's like, oh, OK, we had a slip up. Well, like you're a team member for her, right? You know, you want to act like that, like she can rely on you. I have that with my friends. It's so important for me to be the reliable one. Like I want to do what I say and say what I do and show up. So I get that. But what's the latest with her? What have the last few weeks been like? Well, I think she's at the point where she's ready to get into treatment and she's ready

to find the support that she needs. But I think she's still in that realization of, oh, I can't have a glass of wine on Friday. Oh, I have to tell people I can't have champagne at their wedding. I have to, I can't, you know, it's a social thing that she's starting to realize, which you're right. I'm probably codependent of like, a social thing that she's starting to realize, which you're right. I'm probably codependent of like, no one cares. It's just me. I love you.

And I'm like hyper positive. And I just don't want to be like annoying. Like I can imagine somebody that's having those realizations of, you know, this is something I'm going to have to deal with the rest of my life. I'm like, nah, girl, you're good. Shut up. This isn't about you. So I think I just, I think that's really helpful to hear is maybe I never realized I was codependent on her is a part of my personality of trying to help is I need to

step back and let her take charge. Well, yeah. And you can be like a ballast of support for her, you know, but you are not her. Right. So that's a good reminder. And you don't want to play. You should pick up this book, though, because it's really about like all that kind of stuff. And I was reading and I was like, oh, my God, this is so good for me to read. Again, it's called Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab, T-A-W-W-A-B. Anyway, the other thing that is helpful that I learned from one of my friends who got sober was to not make it a permanent thing, to not think of it as a permanent thing, to not think of it as I can never have a drink again. You know, I mean, it's like kind of like what they do in AA, which is, you know, take it one day at a time. But there's a permanence when people say like, I can never have sugar again, or I can never have a cigarette again. You know, hopefully that's,

you don't ever have another cigarette, but I don't even think you smoke. So I don't, but she does. And you know, that's like, so I'm like, all right, we got to really balance our, our demons here. And I guess cigarettes, you know, that's the thing, too, is there's a lot of things that I don't do that I'm like, oh, it's fine. Just stop. You know, and that's the opposite of what people in her situation want to hear. So I think you're right is as much as I can just be that support and be like, it's maybe it's not permanent. I just I wonder, too, this is kind of a hot topic of conversation because we live in California. The idea of California sober.

I've heard that a lot recently. And it's something that her and I talk about is do you cut out, you know, what the substance is that you feel that you're addicted to or are things like weed and cigarettes? Are those still OK? Yeah. And I think that's, you know, that's obviously going to be a personal choice for her. But like if she has an addiction problem, it's great to cut everything out for a period of time and then recalibrate. Right. And, you know, when she's going to a wedding or she's going to an event, she doesn't you know, if she has to tell somebody she's not drinking, she just says, I'm not drinking right now. I'm not drinking right now. And that's much less of a big deal than saying I'm sober or I'm not drinking again. You know what I mean? It takes the drama out of it. So maybe you can help her

reframe that in her mind as well. Yeah, I think I think it's all fear, which is totally normal. You know, I think at 30, we're at the point where it's like, we can go on vacation and get crazy, but you can't do that on a Tuesday at 8am. You know, I think that finally was the point that she got to of like, oh, my other friends aren't doing this or, you know, we're not on vacation. I shouldn't be, you know, drinking this earlier all day, every day. So it's, it's such a learning curve that I don't know if as a kid, I saw this happening for our relationship, but I'm just happy she's okay and wants to take these steps. And we're able to get advice from people like you and other professionals that, that know what they're talking about because it's so sensitive

and it's so layered. Yeah. Well, she's lucky to have a friend like you that cares enough to call in about this, you know, so that's really nice. And we will keep your anonymity because you requested that. And I mean, that's really good. And all you can do is just show up for her and be supportive. And if she does slip up, you know, that's not the end of the world either. It's just a little mistake and it's a little blip. And, you know, you got to look at the bigger picture and where she's headed in that direction and just try and help support that movement. Definitely. And I, I, I'm definitely going to get that book. Okay. Yeah. I'm always on a book, book tour. So I love, and I love your books too. They're so great. And you, even though I know you said like in your podcast

before of like, I'm not a doctor, but you know, just hearing someone with such experience and growth is so helpful. Oh, well, thank you for calling in. Brandon, did you want to say any fucking thing? I mean, it was very eloquent. It was very eloquently put. The only thing that I would add is that I've had to learn this the hard way, but support does not have to be up close and personal. You can support people from afar sometimes, and that's what they need as well. So I know it seems that in those moments you need to really be there by their side, but it can almost be overwhelming, I think, to a certain degree. So just letting them know, acknowledging that you're there and that if they need anything, you are happy to support however you can. But it doesn't have to be consistent daily check-ins. It doesn't have to be holding them accountable. Like they have to do that

themselves as well. So I think just, you know, as she kind of embarks on this and you're along for the ride, you have to remember it's her ride, like you're just in the car. So kind of let her lead the way, but be there how you can. And yeah yeah I think that you're doing all the right things you're posing the right questions again like Chelsea said she's really lucky to have you in her corner to support so it's just kind of rethinking about how you're doing that and to Chelsea's point the one last thing that I would say is she can take back the purpose of this and she can change the verbiage instead of saying like, I can't have this. I don't want it. Like you don't want to be drunk at 9am as a 30 year old. So even in that way, like I have to remind myself, I don't want 55 pop tarts a day.

I would like them sometimes, but like, I don't want that. Like I want to be better and healthier. And she does too. So even reframing those little words instead of I can't, I don't want, because then it's your choice. It's not something that's being chosen for you. Definitely. I love that analogy of being in the car. I'm in the car. I've got my seatbelt on. I'm just trying not to jump out. I just, I want to be there and maybe in the back seat. Like maybe I'm just, you know, in my car seat in the back. Yeah, you have your headphones on. You're not backseat driving. You're just there.

Well, you do want to have an airbag. So you might want to sit up front. That's a good point. Definitely. Well, thank you so much. Let us know how it goes. Keep us posted on her. Keep us posted.

I definitely will for sure. And all her success and her struggles. Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it. Have a good day. Bye. Thank you, too. Bye.

What are your thoughts on that? My thoughts on that are that I just love all of our callers. I can't believe how normal and cool everyone has been. Every single time we get on the phone, I'm, like, impressed by the person. Yeah. Do you know how nice that is? It's shocking, honestly, because most people, all these people seem so great and like they would have good, you know, social skills out in the real world. But then you interact with people outside of the studio and that's not the case. So this is a good time to

bring in Demi Lovato, who just came out as non-binary. So congratulations for coming out as non-binary, because that is a very difficult thing to do. Demi has a lot of experience in talking about addiction. They have their own personal experience with addiction. So I think they will be able to contribute to this conversation in a way that you or I may not be. There's nothing more enticing about a person. Endearing, I think, is the word you were looking for. Yeah, that's a better word. Than authenticity in their flaws or their errors. Because you know what you get is what you see.

Yeah. Okay. Hi, Demi. Hi. That was so nice. You're so sweet. Well, Brandon's sweet. I'm not really that sweet.

You look so cute. Thanks. Thank you. Got dressed up just for y'all. Oh, look at that. Your outfit matches your lamp. Look what you did for us. I know.

It's all color coordinated. All of the colors are there. I'm very into it. It's very tie-dyed. Oh, look, sweetheart. They're busting out of their shirt just like you do in front of me every day. Sweetheart, I'm just trying to... Thank you.

Thank you for noticing, actually. Well, I'm gay, but as you know, I immediately look at someone's chest just to see what's going on. Only gay men can say that now. Actually, well, I'm gay. But as you know, I immediately look at someone's chest just to see what's going on. Only gay men can say that now. Or can they actually? Who fucking knows? I don't know. I probably shouldn't. No, you shouldn't. We take it back. I know. So you're welcome to all the straight men. OK, so, Demi, we needed your input on a couple of callers we've had in. So we know these are areas that you kind of have been really public about. So we would love your feedback. What is the first one, sweetheart?

Well, so the first one is someone wrote in about a friend who is slipping off of the wagon. So I think they're just having a little difficulty on their journey through sobriety. And in your experience of going through sobriety a couple of times and knowing that it's a process, that there's no one track for each person, how do you think people can be there to support someone who is trying to stay sober? I think the best way to handle any situation when it comes to helping someone through an addiction is having compassion for that person, knowing that that addiction is stemming from a place of pain. And so therefore, when that person is acting out in their addiction, they're hurting. You know, nobody ever acts out in an addiction out of joy. And so I always just try to remember that,

like, if this was a friend of mine falling off the wagon, I would have compassion for them. I would absolutely let them know that I was there for them, but that it's tricky because for me, I can't be around people that are actively using things that either I used to like, or just things that are dangerous. I don't like watching my friends put themselves in situations that are harmful because I've lost a lot of people. And so I set a strong boundary with those people while also telling them, if you need help, if you want help, I'm here for you. I love you and I'm here for you. I can't sit by and watch this happen to you. I'm not abandoning you.

I'm here, but I can't sit by and watch. And so when you're ready to get the help that you need, I'll be there for you in whatever capacity you need me to, whether that's calling the rehab and getting you set up there or taking you to a meeting or whatever it is. Like, I think compassion is key. What's your take on tough love in that situation, Demi? Does it work? I think, like you said, it's different for every person. And so tough love may work on some people. It did not work on me. Tough love to me felt like these people are leaving me once again. It kind of fueled the fire. And so that's why I stress compassion so much when talking about people and their addictions, because it's like they're obviously going through something.

And so when someone says, I'm leaving, I'm out of here, tough love, whatever, you know, that made me go more inward and that made me actually act out more. And so I err on the side of caution when telling people to have tough love. You know, it's important to stay completely transparent and honest. You can totally do that. But I think in the same way that I don't do well with a trainer that yells mean things at me when I'm working out, like, I'm going to do better when I have a trainer that's like, hey, you're killing it. Keep going. Like, or I know this is hard right now, but you can do this, you know? It's like, it's stuff like that that helps push me to the other side of the finish line.

And it might actually be the wrong thing to say to someone and you can't take it back. You know, that's the tricky part about tough love. So once you go past that line, you kind of can't reel it in because they've already heard the toughness. Yeah. Yeah. Which is my specialty. So I'm glad that we got your point of view on that for sure, because you speak from experience, which is better than no experience at all. And I haven't had to get that kind of tough love. So I yeah, so I'm glad I didn't give advice on that. And then we had Demi do it. It's interesting to hear because my mom is currently going through an issue with her sobriety. So she's an alcoholic. She was sober for

a chunk of time. She's no longer sober. She actually may be sober right now. It's a little touch and go. But for me, my stance has always been you have to be sober for yourself. So as much as I wanted to be there to support her, I didn't want her kids to be the reason she stayed sober. So what about family members who have someone who's going through this and they want to be supportive, but also want to set a positioning where you have to be sober for yourself. It has to be something you want because then there's a pressure to those around you to help them maintain their sobriety and a responsibility. Like if we do something, we could be harming your path of sobriety. Right. You know, I think that's why if you always act out of a place of compassion,

you can't go wrong. I think that when having empathy for people, no one's going to take that the wrong way. You know, it's you're showing love. You're showing grace and mercy. I think that having the understanding that like we've kind of been taught through the book of Alcoholics Anonymous for almost 100 years now, that that is the only way, right? And not to say anything bad about AA by any means, it's just, it's almost 100 years old. And so with the way that things progress over time, there starts to become different solutions for different people. And so it's no longer a one-size-fits-all solution. What if your mom decides that she doesn't want to be sober and she's able to manage it? We don't know what the

future holds. And so I think being mindful of like, it always has to come from a place of that person wanting to be sober. If they don't want to be sober, they're not going to stay sober. They're always going to wonder. And it's one vulnerable moment. But I think that's true what you're saying. Like, you know, AA isn't for everybody. I had a friend who got sober and he didn't do it through AA.

He didn't go to rehab. He was like, this sounds awful. He got ketamine treatments and he just stopped one day and then he would drink when he was on vacation, but not drink when he was here. And then he just stopped. And it's been like two years since he's had a drink. And he was like, listen, AA is not for me. Like I'm not going to AA meetings and I'm not going to rehab. He's like, I understand I have a drinking problem. I understand it got out of hand, but I'm never going to say to myself, I'm never going to drink again. He goes, I'm not doing that to myself. I'm just going to say I have to get the situation under control.

And then that turned into sobriety for him. Right. And it's just kind of like it's almost analogous to the classroom isn't always the best place for kids to learn. Right. Everybody has different needs and desires and they respond to different kinds of interactions with people. And I think that applies to everything in life now. Well, sobriety, the way that Demi just described it, is kind of like the Constitution.

It's like how this was established with AA. There are so many more possibilities now for people to get their addictions under control or to find an outlet that is not, they're going to abuse. So, for instance, I don't know what the positioning is for AA, but my mom at the time was interested in taking cannabis to be able to relax at night because that was her stressor and when she would drink. And so that's California sober, isn't it? That's California.

So you've mentioned that. And that to me seems like a much more realistic approach to trying to find something that works for you, because just because you had an issue with one substance does not mean you're going to have an issue with another. But again, it's reconciling that there was an issue and then trying to enter into that cautiously, I would think. Yes, absolutely. Look, I am aware of where my substance patterns have ended me up in the past. So it's like, even when starting this journey of California sober, you know, I, I needed to be very careful that I wanted to make sure that I didn't start smoking too much. And there's been periods where I've smoked probably too much. And then, and some periods where I don't smoke at all, you know, it's just about finding that

balance of what works for you. And so I encourage you to support your mom in finding what works best for her. Look, I always go back to cannabis because I just, I know I'm going to wake up in the morning. I can't say the same for other substances. And that's why I feel okay smoking. Now, if that doesn't work for another person, then that doesn't work for them. And that's okay. I just encourage support finding their journey and their own path and not just going to this dogmatic view of recovery, which is, you know, AA or the highway.

Well, so that kind of answers the next question. So we had someone call in who has been... Shane. Well, so Shane is one. We'll get to Shane. But the other one was the person who called in and they had been using ketamine to try and make their relationship work. So they're trying to find something that, again, not specifically to the relationship the way Demi is describing it, but you have to find something that works for you. I don't know what's going on in the relationship that would cause them to need to supplement seemingly happiness with a substance. Well, ketamine isn't necessarily. Snorting lines of ketamine is a lot different than a ketamine infusion, which is usually guided by a medical professional. I am not a medical professional. I like to repeat that consistently on this podcast because I know a lot of people get confused because I'm trying

to confuse them. But ketamine infusions are a very therapeutic tool for a lot of people. So snorting ketamine is kind of like something you would do at a party or off somebody's ass. Much different utility. Right, right. So ketamine infusions are one thing. And those are helpful. Like my friend who got sober went and got ketamine infusions in L.A. a bunch of times. And that's becoming, you know, more mainstream than it ever has been with microdosing psilocybin, LSD. Like there's all these great healing benefits. But I actually let's talk about Shane, though, because I can. So this guy called in. He says he's a stoner. He stoned all the time.

His roommates smoke all the time and he just feels like brain dead. And I was like, it sounds like you need a break. Like when I, you know, I'm researching cannabis and reading about it, I've been told that you take like a week, a month or a month, a year. So I told him to take a month off. And then I was like, you know, and he's like, it's going to be so hard. And I was like, well, I'll do it with you. I'll take a month off just to do it in concert with him. But also I feel great taking a break from smoking weed. You know, it's another exercise of your control over yourself, like to say, OK, I can say no to this for 30 days. It's obviously going to do me good. I'd love to be able to smoke a joint in 30 days and be high as a kite again, you know,

like, you know, like get that feeling back instead of having, you know, over smoking like I can tend to do. Do you take breaks from weed? I do. I call them weed talks. Oh, that's funny. I'm like, yeah, I just tell my therapist. I'm like, yeah, going on a little weed talks this week. And I just I actually didn't even know that that's what you're supposed to do. I just kind of like naturally started doing that because, yeah, if you're not careful, you can build your tolerance too quick. And then all of a sudden your tolerance is super high and you're just like – it is nice to take a break. And first of all, you feel super clear-headed, super present. And then, yeah, your tolerance has jump-started so it's like I I kind of I think I used to do that with caffeine too back in the day when I was drinking caffeine

but like yeah it's just it's it's interesting it's like cannabis is something that like it's so gentle in in my experience it may not be that way for everybody else. But in my experience, it's been so gentle to where if I need to go without it for a period of time, I can stop and be fine. And then when I'm on vacation, I can smoke it during the day and and at night and be fine. You know, I definitely agree with the tolerance, though. You know, that's my main objective, because my tolerance gets so high that like all of a sudden, you know, I can take like a 25 milligram edible and just feel like a little dense and you're like, okay, this is getting carried away, you know, and plus it becomes very expensive. I was in the habit of getting in my car in the morning or in the, you know, we'll be on the way to the podcast and I'll have a joint, you know, and then I'm just like, oh wait, this is my becoming my morning routine. I don't want

anything to be my morning routine. That's not purely healthy, you know? So it's always good to change up the dynamic and to change up your relationship to the substance or whatever it is you're having an issue with. And notice that if you are having like a really hard time putting it down, maybe it's time to reevaluate your relationship with that substance, you know? If the weed talks is too difficult, it's like talk to the therapist, do what you got to do and figure it out, because obviously that's not working for you anymore if you're needing to do it every single day. Well, it's interesting to hear you talk about cannabis because women are finally getting a place in the cannabis space again where it's been predominantly

male focused for so long. And there are so many ways to take it now with edibles, with the vape pens. You can put them in your bed. You can stick them anywhere, basically. There are suppositories. I've seen them. So for women who are listening to this and thinking like, I would love to introduce myself to cannabis as a way to deal with my anxiety, to help me sleep, to enjoy a day out. You know, some people want to be social but have such a hard time getting over the hump in a social situation. What would you both recommend for women who are interested and want to dabble, get into, enter the cannabis space? I think you just have to go to your local, like, honestly, the microdosing, you can find things that are two and a half milligrams. You can find mints that are one milligram and you have to just go with the smallest, smallest dosage and try it and see how it affects you. Cause it is not for everybody. You know, I'm the biggest pusher in the world.

I want everyone to be stoned, but some people just, I have a couple of girlfriends that cannot handle it and I'm not trying to convince them anymore because I've tried too many times and it always ends up, you know, not being pretty. So I'm like, okay, I give up. Demi, what about you? I would say, so yes, definitely going to your local dispensary. I think there's really interesting ways that you can, like you said, intake cannabis. So there's these drinks called Can. Oh, I love those.

We love those. They're like two, yeah love those. We love those. Yeah, they're like two milligrams. If someone comes over and they're not used to smoking, I'll give them one of those and save. They even have like a lid that you can save it for later situation or like dosist pens. They vibrate when you've hit a full hit. And so it measures the hits out for you. So not just like hitting a vape pen. There's different ways. They vibrate when you've hit a full hit. And so it measures the hits out for you. So not just like hitting a vape pen.

There's different ways. And I encourage people to explore. That's what life is about, is exploring. And so finding what works for you. And if that's cannabis, great. If it's just CBD, great. If it's none of the above, great. Whatever works for you. Because of your history,

did you have people in your circle that are concerned that you're even smoking cannabis, or are they pretty supportive of the green? I'd say my team is, for the most part, pretty supportive. I've been on this journey since like summer of 2019. So it's not been, I think I've gained trust back and, you know, they've seen me be able to have a healthy relationship with cannabis. I think that maybe my security guard, Max, and maybe Scooter are like, they kind of are like, Max is like my dad. He's like, I think he'll always just be the type of dad that like never wants to see his daughter smoking weed. You know what I'm saying? Like he rolls his eyes when I light up a joint or something. But like, it's not out of judgment. It's just like a whatever floats your boat kind of thing. And we make jokes about

it. But yeah, I think that's, I think it's out of protectiveness. And if anything, everyone else around me knows how much it works for me and how much it's changed my life because I've been able to find relief and still wake up the next morning. And also just, you know, when I'm celebrating something, like my album, you know, it's no longer like you don't have to go to a bar and get drunk. You can light a joint and remember the entire night, you know? So it's just, it's, it's cool. And people have seen how it worked for me, how it works for me. And they're just supportive now.

So moral of the story is with substances, there is no one size fits all with recovery. There's no one size fits all. recovery there's no one size fits all but sweetheart remember when we were going to go look at that house a few weeks ago and i forgot that we saw a house and then i looked at it online okay i was very stoned when we went oh my god i and then three weeks later i saw the house online i sent him the link i'm like i want to see that house he's like sweetheart we already saw that house did a full walk through spent like a chunk of time in this home so that's just how you know when it's time for a, we already saw that house. Did a full walkthrough, spent like a chunk of time in this home. So that's just how you know when it's time for a weed talk.

Yes. Yeah, that's right. You need to get that shirt made. Because I'm like, wait, I'm blacking out on weed? I don't need that. That's why I don't drink so much anymore. I mean, I thought, yeah, I didn't realize your memory could go. But you know what?

Yeah, that's exactly right. So I'm excited about my weed talks. And I'm thank you for your stamp of approval, Demi. Yes, absolutely. Weed Talks it up. Thank you so much. Yeah, thanks so much for calling in. We love you.

Thank you. Love you guys. Bye. Bye. Okay, it sounds like it's time to take a break. So that's what we're going to do. You guys, we'll be right back. I'm Jason Alexander.

And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you

and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. does tom cruise really do his own stunts his stuntman reveals the answer and you never know who's going to drop by mr brian cranson is with us how are you hello my friend wayne knight about jurassic park wayne knight welcome to really no really sir bless you all hello newman and you never know when howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, no really. Yeah, really.

No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, that was fun. Demi Lovato was fun. Yeah, they're a good time. Uh, yes, I like them. They are coming from a place of love. And as we are, sweetheart, we are coming from a place of deep love. Deep.

You must lead with love. You must lead with deep love. Deep. You must lead with love. You must lead with deep love. Deep. So important to have these conversations about drugs because as things become legalized and as these drugs become more popularized to some degree, we need to know about appropriate use, about responsible use. And the only way to do that is to have conversations that might be a little uncomfortable. But I can't wait till my niece.

I think that's what we're doing here. I can't wait till my niece starts to get like, cause she's so anti-drugs. I was in San Francisco last weekend, visiting my sister and my niece is so anti-drugs. Like she is so drugs, everything like she, I mean, she knows we were always taking edibles. They're always out and about. Obviously we have no secrets in our family. And she's just always like, we always try to get her to have a drink. We're like, come on, have a glass of champagne. And she's just like, nope, nope, nope. And I'm just like, you know what?

I was anti-drugs too in high school. I was against them. I couldn't believe people who use them. And then I tried them. And so is it, what is her stance on it? Why is she in such opposition? I think she's just, she wants to be in control of herself. OK.

So I think that's it. I think that's a lot of people's reasons for not wanting to experiment is that they are going to lose control. I kind of like that feeling. Do you think it's a. But I also don't feel like I lose control when I take an edible or something like that. It's not a loss of control. It's just you're not as i don't know but for people who are type a it does feel out of control to some degree because that's how i feel

i would assume especially when i started because i am so particular and so in control in a lot of ways that when i took an edible it's like how when i take a five milligram it could feel like i'm taking a 20 because i'm wound so tight that that level of relaxation feels very foreign or it did in the beginning for me. But it was also a superiority thing for me. Like I liked being able to say that I'd never done drugs. And then I realized, well, what the fuck is what's the point in that? Because then I will have never experienced anything. Right, right, right. And now I've done drugs and I'm much happier about it. Yeah. Well, I mean, as long as you're yeah. I mean, everyone needs to just get over themselves with regard to drugs. Like, we really have to work hard at destigmatizing all of it because it's like, especially cannabis.

It's medicine for so many people. Like, I don't want anybody being denied of medicine. Do you? Well, and it's interesting because my Midwest counterparts, my family who are still there, their stance is so against recreational cannabis. They don't know what they're talking about because they're all indoctrinated by government saying that it's a criminalized thing. And yeah, they're all alcoholics. Exactly. Like alcohol is better than cannabis. No fucking way. No, no, especially not for the bloat. No, I remember I gave my dog Chanka Xanax once on a flight to Spain. And he, I know all of this is very relatable listeners. He freaked out. He freaked out and he was heightened

and psycho and he was acting in ways I had never seen him act before, but it was such a long flight. I thought I was helping him so I could just put him to sleep for the flight so he wouldn't be on a 12 hour flight. And it backfired. And what also backfired was that I also had taken the Xanax. So I was sleeping and he was fucking freaking out. And when I got home and I spoke to my vet, I said, I don't understand what happened. And he said, when your dog is in a heightened state, like what you were describing, if you give him a Xanax, he will stay in that heightened state. And I was like, well, I'm like, I'm in a constant state of agitation. And when I take a Xanax, I go to sleep. So I guess dogs physiology and biology is different than ours. Well, now we know. And that's an important lesson for everyone listening. Do not give your dog human Xanax. No, that was an, well, actually it was his Xanax that I took from him. To be completely honest, I looked up what the vet had prescribed him and I was like,

oh, I like Xanax. So I- And because you're a doctor, you knew what portions you would need for yourself. I gave one to myself and I gave one to Chunk. And then I had a really embarrassing flight. Poor Chunk. Well, on that note, the important thing is to calibrate your drug experience because there's losing control in a fun, harmless way. And then there's losing control of your life. And, you know, those things are different. And losing control of your life is very, very serious. As we've

heard today from a lot of people, it's not a fun ride or road to go down. Well, you need to take personal inventory of where you're at with your drug use, which is what you're doing now. So you're going to take a month off of cannabis. Oh yeah, I'm going to take a month off of cannabis. And I'm going to hold you to it. Am I taking off a month of edibles and smoking

or just smoking? Your throat could use it for the smoking, but you should probably do a full detox. Okay, I can do that. No problem. Well, report back. Yeah, I'm setting an example. I gave Shane my word, and I'm not going to break it.

Shane. We'll see what Shane. I hope Shane is able to get through the month. Probably not, but I'll do it regardless. Because I stand by my word. It's science. I hope I don't get pregnant. I'm Jason Alexander.

And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast,

or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of nontraditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives

dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.