Dear Chelsea - Childhood is Over with Nieces Jordan and Charley

Episode Date: July 6, 2024

This week, Chelsea’s Nieces Jordan and Charley join in to chat about generational personality traits, technical difficulties, and who’s kicked out of the family.  Then: A Utah Zillennial struggles to keep up the good fight.  A friendless fiance wonders if her wedding will be a bust. And twenty-something needs help kicking out her roommate - who happens to be the landlord’s granddaughter.   * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea. You're on the move. I am almost on my way to New Zealand. Oh, how exciting. I'm in my last week. I have my friends here. It's my friend's birthday week. So there's a lot of men and women at my house. They're all out right now. So I can record my podcast because I'm the only one who's remaining professional while I'm on vacation.

Have you reconnected with any old flames from Mallorca from before? You know that I have, Catherine. You know that I have. I'm not here spinning my wheels on a bicycle all the time, okay? I'm getting a lot of activity. You're spinning something else. Yes. Yes. I'm getting a lot of activity. You're spending something else. Yes. Yes.

I'm very busy. Chelsea, Paula wrote in, and I think this is something really good to share because we talk a lot about, like, go get some therapy, but not everybody can afford that. But Paula says... And support groups are typically free, right? Exactly. Exactly. If you can't afford something, a lot of times there's free group therapy, support groups, all that kind of stuff. So take a look at what exists in your area. Paula says, I run a therapy center and I have to tell you,

I applaud what you're doing and think you would both make fabulous therapists. That's very sweet. I'm an avid listener. I heard one of your callers share that they would like to go to therapy but can't afford it. And I'm reaching out to let you know there are options for low income individuals to access quality therapy. If any of your callers are from California specifically and need mental health assistance, please let them know about Pelican Cove Counseling Center. We're a nonprofit and offer a sliding scale fee structure to ensure all have access to quality long-term therapy. You can just direct them to our website and hit the contact link at the top navigation bar. A therapist will reach out in 24 hours.

PelicanCove.org. And I think that's amazing. There are resources like that in every single state. So like really this stuff is a Google away. Yeah. Thank you for that, writing that in. Yeah. Thank you, Paula.

And people reach out to Pelican Cove. A lot of places have sliding scale and that sort of thing. Yeah, sliding scale is where it's at for payments and for grades. I appreciated sliding scales when I was growing up. Exactly. I was like, I really got a 70, but because everybody else is a fucking idiot too, I got an 80. I'm like, thank you. Love it. Chelsea, we have some very special guests today. Maybe even more special than our normal guests. Okay. These are my nieces. I have three nieces and two of my nieces are represented in today's episode, Jordan Ray and Charlie Day. How cute is that? And they're both very good at giving advice, Catherine, in their own peer groups and within our family. So I thought there would be a great addition to the podcast because they're both very smart. Charlie's in college. Jordan's just graduated. Well, not just graduated from college, but she's a college graduate making her way in the world today as a working woman and which Charlie will be soon following suit.

So hi, girls. Hi. Hello. How are you? Thanks for coming on the podcast together. How cute is this? I love it. Me too. I'm so happy to be here. OK, Charlie, I know your year ended at Emory University and Jordan just started a new job a few months ago. So these girls are very busy. And one of them is living in sin currently on the East Coast. Yeah. And it starts me. Yeah. And it's also called a river. She's living with her. She has a live in lover. What's the river? Oh, the Jordan River. Sorry, I was gonna say it's also the name of a river, but it came out wrong. I'm so busy about putting my verbs and nouns in opposite directions in Spanish every morning that now I'm doing it in English. I'm like, wait, what? River, Jordan. No, Jordan lives with her boyfriend on the East Coast, and she just started a cool job. So I want to hear about how this past year went for both of you.

Jordan, you tell us how your new job is going, how your new city is going. Yeah. So it's funny because right around this time last year, I actually quit my last job. Like I think it was like on my birthday last year. So that was really fun. And what kind of job was that? Tell everybody what you did there. It was a content creating kind of job, but it was in the techie kind of well-being space.

It was just very corporate and it just wasn't fun. Like it was supposed to be purposeful, but then you get so jaded in those kinds of environments. It just was not fun anymore. So I kind of decided like, I want to change career paths. I want to move to a new city. I want to try out somewhere other than New Jersey because we've all been in New Jersey for so long. I just wanted to try a different state. And so we moved and I am now at a company where it's a production company that's social impact driven and mission driven. And so it feels a lot more purposeful than before. And I'm getting into, I don't know if I'm stepping on your toes, Tanta, being in the entertainment space, trying not to, but but yeah that's what I'm doing

she got a job working with Shelly Tagilsky who does Pandemic of Love as everyone knows on this podcast among very among many other things copious amounts of things Shelly is in she's a busy lady so she and Simone my sister are very close and she met Jordan and so she yeah she helped Jordan get a job in her company. So that's awesome. And Charlie, tell us about your freshman year in college, because the pictures were, they looked like you were having a great time. That's absolutely correct. Listen, I was looking forward to college, but I didn't even know what was one step away. It was great. You didn't know how exciting this experience was going to be, right? No, I mean, so many different areas of my life have been improved

after moving away from suburban New Jersey. Who could have known? And you like actually going to school, right? Yeah. I mean, I'm a bit of a nerd and I actually really enjoy school. But I mean, there are so many great parts of freshman year outside of school. How would you balance your work life, Charlie, in school this year with your party life? What would you say the appropriate college balance has been that you've found? Well, Chelsea, I've been towing the line more and more, and I'm waiting for things to blow up, and they haven't yet. So I'm just kind of upping the ante. Blow up in a good way or blow up in a deleterious manner? Which kind of blow up are you looking for?

As the year progressed, party levels went up more. I upped the ante. And things haven't exactly crashed and burned yet. So I'm just kind of waiting for that point. Okay, right. So you're just going to enjoy the ride until you have to tone it down a notch. I understand what you're saying, I think.

Yes, exactly. Jordan, was that your experience your first year in college as you're saying, I think. Yes, exactly. Jordan, was that your experience your first year in college as well? No, I was super lame in college and I didn't go out very much. I also am a nerd and I just was like super obsessed with getting good grades. And also I did not go to like a good school for partying, but I figured it out over time. Yeah. You figured out how to get your party on you mean? Oh yeah. It's mostly involves alcohol and just not worrying too much. We're a very pro cannabis family. I don't know if anyone's picked up on that vibe yet. Now girls, I know that you recently went on a trip, the three girls. So I, you know,

everyone has knows I have two sisters and I have three nieces, so it's perfect. So we have three, three and three. And then our closest cousins are also three girls. So it's perfect because we just like to multiply females in groups of three. I know you recently went on a cousin's trip with Seneca, the three of you. Can you tell me about that and what kind of cousin bonding you guys got up to? We all live in different areas of the country. I'm in the South. Jordan's always moving around. Sunny's in San Francisco or wherever. So we always need to squeeze in as much bonding as possible in a short amount of time. And if you think it can't be done, we always prove you wrong every time. We ate, we laughed, we drank, other things. It was beautiful.

Other things like things your Aunt Chelsea would encourage you to do? By the way, girls, I sent you all boxes of clothes. I'm moving into my new house. I edited my closet. I sent you all boxes of clothes. And at the very last minute, Molly came over and put a vibrator in each one of your packages. So just so you know, that is not from me. That's from Molly trying to be funny. That's actually would be the third vibrator that you have sent me. So I would expect no less. Okay, well, I'm glad that we cleared that up. Now back to your cousinly vacation. I wanted you to talk a little bit about your dynamic between the three of you and how or if you think it mimics the other three women in our family's dynamic at all.

Oh, interesting. I didn't really think about it that way. I mean, Chelsea, you're like such a standout. Like, I don't think we really fully have a Chelsea in our in our generation. but I'd say Charlie is the closest because she just literally cracks me up 24-7. She woke up one day and she goes, oh my God, like I had a great night of sleep. And then I woke up this morning and Seneca and I were like a parfait all layered together. And I was like, who just comes up with that? She just cracks me up constantly. So maybe that's my only comparison to you is Charles. Charlie does have some really good, really good zingers. She comes out with some stuff that you're like, are you a poet or are you on something? But it always makes sense once you start to think about it. Well, over the years, the three girls, we would always try and see which sister we were.

And it has definitely changed over the years. But there's always a gap. You're right, Jordan. It doesn't really fit. We've added some new things to the parfait, if you will. And then when we mix in our cousins, it's even better because they have young kids and they have babies so then we can keep it youthful like this past year in Martha's Vineyard I know you weren't there Charlie but we were and we really enjoyed having a younger dynamic there

and we actually that's when we started to threaten members of the family about doing that non-anonymous 360 where we review each family member's performance and then make cuts based on that. Have you made the cuts yet? Well, I've made them into, you know, I mean, I know what the cuts are and everyone knows what my cuts are. So I don't even need to say it out loud. Seems like there's some people not invited to Mallorca this year. But there's also so many other people to consider we have so many cousins and everybody i mean and the girls and the kids all have are taking lovers oh my goodness you know i mean there's just so many people in the mix to consider you're out here multiplying maybe we need a new

draft i think so i think i think that's what we need. Maybe we could hold some auditions. Well, yeah. I mean, or we test them out on a vacation and see what kind of grade they get. You know, like Molly's obviously an A+, Carrie's another A+. Both of their babies are A+, as far as I'm concerned, and I don't say that very often. But you know what I'm talking about. Do you guys think it's an advantage that you come from such a big family? Do you feel like you come from a big family? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's fun, because I think, like, one of the things that I learned from this family is just leaning into

chaos, because there is no way of getting around it. And I think it's so easy to panic and be like, oh, fuck, like, everybody's a mess. And yeah yeah, like they are a mess, but you just kind of go with it. And you're like, appreciate everybody for the mess that they are instead of trying to fight it. That's nice. Yeah, that's a nice outlook to have. It took me a long time to figure that out. I'd be like, why are you so fucking annoying? And then I have to realize, oh, they're just annoying. Go in the other direction. You know, sometimes it's hard to get away from people, though, in our house, especially when there's so many of them. And especially when we're bunking up to the degree that we do. We do bunk up a lot because we have so many people that we have to get places that half of

us are sleeping in bunk beds. Obviously not us, mostly the boys, but sometimes it happens. Charlie, what about you? Do you feel like you come from a big family? I do. But the thing that kind of has resonated with me is the affection in our family, because I don't really I haven't really seen that in other people's family dynamics or my dad's branch of the family. Everybody's just super warm and loving and literally just touching each other, snuggling on the couch. Some would say it's slightly inappropriate and I will take the responsibility for the inappropriateness.

Jordan hasn't really been one of my victims because she- Because I resist. She rebuffed my advances from an early time. She had set a boundary. No, see, that's my no-no square. Yeah, and I was like, oh, and then I looked for another no-no square

and then I found Charlie and Seneca and they loved my advances and they welcomed them. And so I'm, oh. And then I looked for another no-no square. And then I found Charlie and Seneca. And they loved my advances. And they welcomed them. And so I'm still doing it, you know. But yeah, there is a lot of affection going on. That's nice. That's nice.

I mean, how could you argue with affection? Any family that's not affectionate is where the problems are. So we have problems, but nobody has any secrets. Yeah. How do you guys work out issues that come up in the family? Or when somebody is being annoying, do you hash it out? How does that work from the next generation's perspective? Well, Seneca, usually, who's not here to speak for herself, usually yells at everyone.

So in that way, she's very much like me and her spot in the generation. She has no tolerance for the boys in our family. So she's like, shut the fuck up. Everything's out on the table. Everything's up for grabs. Nobody's hiding anything. And if you're doing something that's weird, you're going to get called out and you deserve to be called out. I mean, Jordan and I, two very strong, independent women, and we call people out and we're okay with criticism. Yeah. I love that. That's great.

I love that too. And on that note, we're going to take a break and we're going to be right back with my two nieces on Dear Chelsea. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers

to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you

and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's gonna drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park.

Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. No Really. Go to ReallyNoReally.com and register to win $500 Bye-bye. This week, we're looking for questions about dating. Whether you're single, just starting to see someone, or out there on the apps, write in with your questions to DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com.

And we're back with Jordan and Charlie. Okay, my nieces are here today, so this is so cute. I love it. Hit it. All right. Well, our first question comes from Cece. Cece says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 23-year-old student. My current boyfriend and I met in an art class about four months ago. We've been dating for

three months. At the beginning of our relationship, I told him I'm a person that's really afraid of commitment and that we need to take it slow because of that. Since then, we've met each other's families a few times, gotten each other really personal gifts, and just recently came back from a five-day trip to Colorado with him and his family. So as you can see, the taking it slow quickly got out of hand. As much as I like him, I've always been used to being very independent, self-sufficient, and alone. And lately, I've been extremely focused on my career and my life, and I haven't really given too much thought or worry to my relationship since in my head I was still taking it slow. However, a couple of days after coming back from Colorado,

my boyfriend texted me that he's in love with me. Yes, he texted me, she says. This is also the time to point out that he's three years younger than me, so he's 20. I told him this was a conversation to be had in person, not over text. With someone else. So he's 20. Don't want to lead him on by telling him I might or might not fall in love with him later down the line. But I do like being with him. I just feel too young still. And saying I love you to someone is just something I don't see myself doing for a long time. Cece.

Okay, who wants to go first? I have some comments. I think with the whole commitment issue, this is something I've been thinking about myself recently. Just the idea of commitment. Because I was in a pretty long relationship before college. And now I'm on the other end of the spectrum. But you can't really force yourself into wanting commitment. If it's not there, it's not going to be there.

And that's not something that can artificially come about. So I think you might owe it to yourself and to your little lover to kind of establish a boundary and maybe distance yourself. Establish a boundary and then distance yourself from the boundary and back away. Jordan? I actually went through something very similar. When I first started dating my partner, it was a long time ago. And he asked me if, if I wanted to be his girlfriend. And I had said no, originally, because I just wasn't ready. Like it seemed too serious. For whatever reason, certain labels or certain words, I feel like trigger us. And it tells you a little bit something about yourself that you should probably dig into.

But then he was like, okay. And then he kind of bounced. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Like I thought we could sort of do this half, half in half out thing. And then I realized I missed him. And I was like, wait, wait, let's pick this back up and just move a little slower. And so I feel like if you step away and you don't miss that person or you're just not really interested in reconnecting, that's a big sign that you shouldn't be moving in that direction or spending any more time. But I also feel like when we say we have commitment issues, it's something like you need to challenge or dig into a little bit more. Because for me, it was something of like, I just wanted to be this strong person,

and I didn't ever want to be vulnerable. But if you ever want to have a relationship that matters and that you actually care about, you have to do that. So I don't know, I would look at both sides of it. It's like, if it's not this person, it's not this person. But if it's a commitment issue, and you want to figure that out, I would figure that out. Yeah, I think that's very sagacious. Because you know, it's it is two things she's talking about a little bit. But also with with, you know, when you when someone says that I love you, and you don't feel that way, I really believe it is the person, the recipient's responsibility to make it very clear that those feelings are not being reciprocated so that that person can have some truth on their side. They just said something that's very vulnerable.

And even though you are not matching it, it's nice to be like, I'm sorry, I don't feel that way yet. Or I don't feel that way now or however you can say it to kind of but be honest about it you know and also be honest about the fact that if they're in love with you and you don't feel that way it probably means that you're not in love with them yeah usually if people are in love they're both feeling it not one being like can you back the other person like. No, it's not like that. I know. And also to anyone listening, when someone says I love you and it makes you have a reaction like that's not a good thing. That's not good. That's not because you're too young or you're a commitment phobe. That just means that person is not your person or one of your people. If you think you're too young at 23,

right? Yeah. Yeah. You are too young to be like in love or expect expectations of your people. If you think you're too young at 23, right? Yeah, you are too young to be like in love or expect expectations of being loved. But if this is like a recurring theme in your life, or it becomes one where you're like, I just don't want a relationship, I don't want a relationship, then yes, it probably is a commitment issue. I've definitely been there myself as well. But I think being honest with the other person, you know, is also really the most important thing. It's just everyone has, so nobody gets confused. You know what I mean? And if you really don't think you're going down that road, be honest about that, too. And like or not be honest, but, you know, separate yourself from that person so that you can give them a chance to find someone who also does feel

the same way. So, yeah. Yeah. Especially if you don't care, you know. Okay, so good luck with that. What's her name, Charlotte? Cece. Cece, okay. That's all very good about you. Same thing as Charlotte. Charlotte. She's a sophomore. Her name is Charlotte.

It's probably short for Charlotte. Let's be honest. Well, Sophie is our first caller today, and she's calling from Canada. She says, dear Chelsea, my name is Sophie. Canada's a trigger for me. A happy trigger. Well, still a trigger. She says, McGill is my dream university, although I don't feel excited or any of the feelings you're supposed to feel when you get into your dream university, because I know this means it's the end of the part of my life that's familiar and a beginning of a new one that's so unknown. Although I do know moving away is the best thing for me, it makes me really sad to think that once I move out, it's going to be the end, not to be dramatic, of basically my childhood.

I'm so grateful that I'm able to go to such a nice university and be supported by my family, but I'm really dreading this new part of my life. I'm wondering how Jordan and Charlie dealt with these kinds of changes in their lives and if they have any advice. Kind regards, Sophie. Hi, Sophie. Hi, Sophie.

Hi. Hello. Oh, my God, how cute are you two? Look at Jordan. Charlie and Sophie are side by side. They look like they could be sitting in the same room on the Zoom. Well, you came to the right place since we have some college students and college graduates here. Okay, girls, go ahead. Jordan, why don't you go first? Well, I was going to say, I actually think Charlie should take this one first because

she did this more recently than I did. So, Charles. No, I'm happy to. It's really scary. Kind of. It seems like a very official end to your childhood in a way. And it's kind of scary to separate yourself from your parents. I don't know if that's something that you're feeling, but yeah, I know it is. You don't have to feel guilty about growing up and starting your life. That's not something that you have to feel guilty about. And it's really difficult to kind of separate the excitement of doing that from the guilt of spending less time with your family or in your hometown. I think when you actually get to college, you'll see that there's this whole world out there waiting for you. And there's so much newness. And I'm telling you, when you go home, this was something I was afraid of. I was afraid that I would go home and things would feel kind of different. The dynamics or just the feeling of my house even. And it's not. I assure you, you'll come home and things just kind of rev back up and almost resume where they were. But it's definitely a scary time.

Yeah. And I think it's just scary for me to think that once I do move out, I can move back home, but it's not the same. It's not like the same dynamic. I feel like I think that's what also freaks me out. But like the end of an era. It is the end of the era, but it's also like a rite of passage. Like you're moving into something and everyone's a little bit scared to go to college. There's also a huge beginning happening and it's really not the end. It's the end of your childhood. It is. But you're always going to come home. And you have so much to be excited about. What better time is there in life than to be a freshman in college? That's true. Did you have a hard time Jordan leaving? Um, no, I didn't. I felt very ready when when I went. But also, you know, over time, you start to miss the people that you

grew up with. And it makes total sense. And I think it sounds like you have, over time, you start to miss the people that you grew up with. And it makes total sense. And I think it sounds like you have a great family, which is a total blessing, because not everybody has that. So it's, it's nice that you have something that you don't want to leave and something that you can come back to. But I think one of the cool things about coming back from college for the first time is figuring out those new dynamics. It's not all bad. You still get to be your parents' baby. They actually like babying you when you come back, believe it or not. And also, you get to figure out how to sort of be an adult with them without really having the responsibilities of being an adult yet. It's a really cool in

between stage where you get to figure out how to be friends with your parents. And you see parts of your parents that you didn't see before. It's like unlocking also those relationships in a different way. So I get the fear, I get the anxiety, it's totally normal. I would try making a mental switch in your head to excitement from that, because there is a lot to be excited about. And when you come home, you just see just like absorb it, sit in it and be happy to be there and see kind of where it takes you. But yeah, you have a lot to look forward to. Yeah, that's the thing. So I'm a really like I think I'm a slow to warm up person. Like right now, I know I'm really nervous about it. But I know once I'm there, I'll warm up to it and I'll enjoy it.

It's like the in-between stage. But I think Jordan brought up a great point for something that you can do, whether it's like an exercise of you writing it down all the time. But like think about how lucky you are to have grown up in a home that you really are like sad to leave. You're grateful for your parents. You're grateful for your bedroom. You're grateful for your house. You're grateful for all of your neighbors and all of the things that come with it. Just keep a journal of that or write down a gratitude list, because that's going to help you move into the next phase of your life with a little bit more grace and a little less fear. And it's okay to be scared. It's exciting. That means you care. You know what I mean? Being scared of something means you're nervous and that you care. And that's

okay, too. Yeah, that's totally true. Do you have any friends from high school that are going to your college? Yeah, actually, pretty much everyone I know is going to McGill. But I do have my best friend who's going to BC and it's like pretty much across the country. So I'm really gonna miss her. That's really gonna suck. But yeah, I am lucky that I have so many friends going yeah that's awesome so yeah make sure you just like set up a nice like set time that you're gonna like see people you know throughout the year whether it's once a week or twice a week get a high school group together and be like I want to make sure we stay in you know close while we're in college and like get something going like a support group for like being, you know, new freshmen or whatever

you want to do or call it. Yeah. One thing that I did with my best friend, she went to college up north and I'm down south. Every Monday we would send five pictures from our week as a little dump to kind of fill each other in. Yeah. And it was a lot of fun because I would take pictures throughout the week thinking like, oh, I'm going to send this to my friend. She's going to think this is so funny. Yeah. And we could keep each other up to date.

And it was a ton of fun. Yeah, that's a really great idea. Now you just have to find a social media platform where you can do that on. Oh, I know. That'll be tough. A couple little tricks, too, to bring with you. First of all, like when you go, if you're in a situation where you don't know anybody, like none of your friends are in that mixer or whatever, just know like everybody else there has no friends there either. So like,

don't be afraid to go up to people and be like, hi, I'm so-and-so. And like, what's your name? And, you know, because they might be feeling really out of place or nervous as well. Well, that is a good point because everyone's in the same boat as you. It's not like you're going off to war alone. And well, that's not a good example either because people are going together. But, you know, at least you're in the same boat with everyone. Like everyone is new. So it's a perfect opportunity.

Especially that first semester. It's the best time to make friends. You can make friends over nothing. You can have a lecture hall together and sit next to each other once and now you have a friend. The other thing I would say is say yes to everything that sounds fun. If someone invites you or there's something you see that's an event you can go to, say yes to absolutely everything for the first like six months, just so you can like be out there meeting people. Cause you're not going to meet people sitting in your dorm room.

So yeah. Okay. Thank you guys so much. Oh, good. I feel like the girls gave you some really great advice today. Yeah. Change that frame of mind around.

I'm excited for you. You get excited for you too. Good luck. Well, thank you. Okay. Bye Sophie. Bye. Bye bye what a total cutie oh i know yeah i just love the idea of wanting to stay home after air like really missing like i

could not fucking wait i want when i was like nine or ten i was like looking in the like want ads to see how old you are. I was like, are there apartments that I could possibly afford? Could I be an au pair in Australia? How do I get the fuck out of here? Well, our next question comes from G, and this is a write-in, so she's not joining us today. G says, Dear Chelsea, a few years ago, I lost all of my friends because I chose to stop being friends with the toxic one. Unfortunately, she was very manipulative and influenced the entire group to stop hanging out with me, despite the fallout being just between

us two. I recently got engaged, and as excited as I am, I'm also dreading the wedding planning because of my new lack of friends. I won't have the excitement of having a typical bridal party or bachelorette getaway, nor do I expect to ever be part of one. Don't get me wrong, I have a few friends, but they're all spread out across the country and I don't think it would be feasible for any of this to happen. My question is, how can I make this process an exciting one despite the lack of support? How do I get over being so sad and lonely in the social aspect of my life? Best G. Oh, that sounds like a bummer. I know, I know. Well, it just sounds like you're going to have to make a new group of friends and it's going to take a minute from where you live. Like I've heard of these things happening with adult women before. It's so

embarrassing, but it's happened to me and I'm sure I've done it to plenty of people. So yeah, you just have to make a new set of friends and it does suck, but it is a time to be like celebratory in your life, right girls? I mean, you're getting married, you've got a great husband and it's unfortunate, but at least you don't have that toxicity in your life. It's sad that it's at the expense of like all the other friendships, but I would just focus on, you know, be open-minded about who else you're going to hang out with. And, and, and it will take time to make a new circle of friends. And I would try, I would encourage you to do something for your wedding as much as I fucking

hate bachelorette parties. I would encourage you to celebrate yourself if that's what you want to do with your friends across the country. And those who can come could come. And if they can't, they can't. And yeah, don't assume things can't happen just because you say they can't agreed i totally agree don't assume that that that they won't want to come or that they can't make it always the least

you can do is ask and honestly i mean i don't know if you still want to be friends with any of those girls but these kind of events are a great way to reconnect with people that you haven't talked to in a while. If they're toxic, leave them behind. But if there was one or two of them that you were really close with, this might be your opportunity to reconnect with them and kind of sidestep that toxic person. I'd also say, avoid feeling like you getting married has to be this perfect momentous thing where all of these people come together in the most perfect way. Like we get so pressured into feeling like it has to be your fairy tale moment and everything has to align perfectly. That's never going to happen no matter what. So lean into it just being a happy day for you, whatever that means, and focus on the people that are there

for you. Because even if it's not female friends, there are going to be people that are going to show up for you that day. And I'm sure you'll be surprised by the fact that you don't miss them. Yeah, that is really good advice. Yeah, that's great advice. Charlie, what do you think? Well, I'd like to applaud you for, you know, distancing yourself from somebody who wasn't

good for you. A lot of people, myself included, struggle with kind of setting those boundaries and taking themselves out of situations that aren't good for them. And I don't know, separating yourself from people who aren't lifting you up. So first of all, I'd like to say, good job knowing yourself and getting out of that situation. And second, this whole friend group, it's not an end all be all. There's so many other people out there who want to make friends and people who will actually be good and kind to you and who have things in common with

you. So I say, and not just for the purpose of bridesmaids or wedding preparations, that you should put yourself out there, depending on where you live, go outside, go to a park, go to some sort of event. People always want to make friends. That's, I mean, of course, something big in college, which is what we were just talking about. But that doesn't really change. People want to make friends. So, yeah, I think it's time to shift that mindset. Yeah, I make friends all the time. Every week I make friends. And it's not because I'm a celebrity. I talk to people, randos all the time, and I make friends. So it's just about your attitude. Sometimes I don't want to make friends and I make friends.

You know, that can be very tricky. Girls, before we go to the next caller, I had your mothers on the podcast. Did you hear about this? I did. Okay. What did you hear? I heard that it was a catastrophe. Well, oh no.

Simone was fine as normal. And then there was Shoshana, who is Charlie's mother, who was walking around with her laptop throughout the entire house throughout the episode with live callers on going, I can't get a signal. I can't get a signal. So we're all getting motion sickness while watching her try to get a fucking Wi-Fi signal in her own house. I'm like, have you never, you've never checked your Wi-Fi before? Are you on Wi-Fi? She's like, I don't know. I don't know. I'm like, have you, you've never done a Zoom? And she's like, no, not usually. I'm like, oh my God, Shoshana, I am going to throw up. And then Simone came down to California

and she goes, a couple of days later, she days later she goes we're not doing that again and I go what and she goes the podcast I'm not doing that again not with Shoshana and not alone I go we can do it without Shoshana and she goes I don't want anything to do with it anymore oh man and then yesterday I was talking

to Shoshana and she goes oh my god I'm so sorry about the other day. I don't know what happened. I go, what? I know what happened. Every time I've spoken to you on the phone, there's been an issue. Since I moved to California, I'm 49 years old. I've been here for 30 years and I've never had a conversation with you that didn't somehow

drop the call or there was fuzz or, you know was like a loud beeping sound and she's like I'm really sorry she's like please don't air that I'm like well I think we're going to because Simone don't worry tell her we're gonna clean it up we'll cut out all the like funky bits and it'll sound like a dream and then she said this doozy she said oh and I felt so bad because that one caller I was giving advice to I didn't even hear the question. She goes, so I was just, she's like, I was just shooting fish into a barrel. That's what she said to me. Shooting fish into a barrel.

I'm like, you're playing with people's lives. Meanwhile, I'm in the same house on the same computer. It's going absolutely fine. I can't wait to tell her that it was fine with you. She's unreal. She's unreal. There's like a loud siren sometimes. I'm like, what is that sound? She's like, I don't hear it. I'm like, you don't hear that loud siren in the phone. We sent her into the basement to get closer to the Wi Fi. And then she was like sitting on the stairs. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, so you asked before if there's a Chelsea of our generation

I think that Shoshanna is the Seymour of your generation Shoshanna's the Chelsea I'm like what we don't have anything in common Shoshanna wouldn't like to be called Seymour that's our father their grandfather and no one wants to be compared to him because he was up to some sneaky actually no well not the sneaky stuff that was problem. It wasn't sneaky at all. If he had been sneakier, it might have been more dignified. But he didn't sneak anything. He had some really. But again, we don't sneak.

Everything's out on the table, whether you like it or not. But I will say you also did compare her to Seymour on that call. I know, but she doesn't like it, so I don't say it to her. But yes, believe me, I see the similarities. You know, my dad, he puts it well. He thinks that she is like the ultimate mix of Rita and Seymour. How so? Because she's very warm and she also really likes to bargain. Yeah, right. So that's Seymour. And then warm is my mother. My mother was very warm. Yeah, she is very warm. Okay, well, we will figure that problem out as we see it. We'll just have to keep dealing with it until we come to an actual prognosis. And then follow that up with

an intervention. We need a diagnosis, a prognosis, and an intervention. And a prescription. Okay, we'll take a break and we'll be right back with my nieces. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer.

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today.

How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging really that's the opening really no really yeah no really go to really no really.com and register

to win 500 a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed jason bobblehead it's called really no really and you can find it on the iheart radio app on apple podcasts or wherever And we're back. Okay. Okay, so Evelyn's pronouns are she, her. Evelyn says, Dear Chelsea, my name is Evelyn, and I'm a trans woman on the cusp of millennial and Gen Z. I've been doing intense therapy for the last two years or so since realizing I was trans and have been making major progress in healing religious and family traumas. On one hand, I'm so proud of myself for the incredible progress I've made, but on the other,

I'm incredibly nihilistic about the future, the world, and my place in it. Knowing that nihilism runs rampant in Gen Z, how do you fight this? Anytime I try to get involved in fighting for LGBTQIA plus rights, women's rights, gun control, or really any social justice, I get burnt out so quickly. I want to feel positive when looking to the future, and I want to be that person who's on the front lines of the good fight, but I just can't seem to do it. How can I take the good vibes and self-love I'm developing through therapy and apply it to the future? Love this podcast. Thanks for all the wonderful advice over the years, Evelyn. Hi, Evelyn. Hi. Hello. That's Jordan and that's Charlie. Hi, nice to meet you. Okay. So, well, let's talk about what you're ingesting. What are you ingesting? A lot of social media, doom scrolling and TikTok and X and all that stuff.

Yeah. Well, I had your problem for a long time and I just, I'm not uninformed, but I'm less, I check in with the news in a written form and I don't pay attention to that. I hardly go on Instagram anymore. I hardly ever go on TikTok. I honestly, it eats at your brain and it eats at your self-esteem. It has such a corrosive effect. I mean, I can tell if I look at social media for three or five minutes, I get something bothers me about it. Something brings me down about it. You know, whether you're comparing yourself to someone you think is a better life or you're looking at someone that you can't stand and say, you know what I mean? Or you're hearing all this loud noise. You have to minimize your access to social media. And one of the things that I'm so impressed

and proud of with all of my nieces, and many of my nephews too, is they're not consumed with social media at all. Are you guys? No, not really. They don't care. And they're happier. You know what I mean? It is a definite component of being happy and unhappy. Social media is a component in that. So you really have to limit your time. That's the very first thing you could do that will definitely have a positive impact. Right, girls? For sure. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think one thing that I do is I have this function on my phone where if I double tap the back of my phone, it goes from color to black

and white. Whenever I go on to social media, I switch it to black and white. And I'm not as tempted to keep scrolling as long. So that's something that really helps me. But then you can switch it back to color when you're like looking at a photo somebody sent you or whatever. But I would say what you're going through is completely relatable. Like so many people are and I'm also in between Gen Z and Millennials I'm kind of neither I'm sort of in this in-between space and there is a lot of eco-anxiety there's a lot of just fear for the future and whether or not we're going to have any rights and so I would say though all the media you're consuming is meant to make you feel that way. It's meant to make you feel hopeless.

It's meant to make you feel like you don't have any power. And so when you do anything, it could be supporting a content creator that you think deserves support. It could be donating $5 to the ACLU. It could be volunteering for one hour of the week. Whatever little thing you can do, it's better than nothing, right? And I think when we do those little things, it gives you that spark of hope back.

And it doesn't have to be doing something major or like fixing the world. All we all have to do is do one thing. If we all did one thing, we could move everything way further. But if we all sit in this space of like, Oh, God, like, I don't know what to do, I'm just going to give up and, and not do anything, then nothing gets accomplished. And so I think a lot of people our age are falling into that where they're like, if I can't change everything now, what's the point? But then we

stop progress altogether. And we have to think 20 years from now, if we stop now, like it's coming to a complete halt and then nothing's happening. So we just have to take those little steps every day. So if you can do one small thing every day that makes you feel like, okay, I contributed. That's all I had to do. Don't feel like it has to be some massive thing. I love that. That's great advice. Do you love that, Evelyn? I love it. Yes. Where would you start? Do you have any recommendations for how to consume the news and make sure you're still informed without getting it all from social media or biased sources? Yeah. I mean, I think that's a constant issue for a lot of people. I think you, you have to watch, I think you have

to look at anything that's in the middle of the road and you have to look at facts. You can't just look at a headline and assume that it's true. You have to actually dig in. Yeah. And it's like reading it on social media. The news is not how you should be consuming your news. You should find an app, whether it's like, I like, I listened to the daily from the New York times every morning. You find whether you like the Huffington post, whether you like the Daily News, whether you like Ben Shapiro, whatever you're into. Obviously, you're not into Ben Shapiro, but whatever you're into, just get a little like the Skimm. The Skimm has a great little roundup or the Week, that political magazine has a roundup of everything. Find those things that are going to get delivered to your email that keep you off

of social media. So that's not one more thing you're looking at on social media. And set that timer, you know, that Instagram timer that says you've been on your phone for an hour today or 40 minutes or whatever it is. Just take those little steps in conjunction with the steps you're going to take to make the world a better place. And so you already have like 50 things to do so far. And Charlie hasn't even spoken yet. So Charlie, what do you want her to do? Yeah. I mean that funk, I think everybody knows everybody in our generation is familiar with that kind of funk that you get into, but don't let that win. Don't let that funk win. Everybody wants. Everybody wants women to give up, you know?

Yes. The system wants that funk to win, wants women to give up, wants you to just kind of not do anything. And number one, doing stuff feels great. It's just doing one thing can lift you out of that funk. And if you keep doing that and set a pattern, you feel good about yourself. You feel like you're looking at the world and maybe there are problems, but you're actively making a contribution to change that. And that's really great. And also, it comes with so many other benefits.

The people you meet when you're, I don't know, at a protest or you're at a rally or working on a campaign. I've made some friends years ago that I still talk to today through that kind of activism. And it's great to kind of be able to find community that way. You can talk with people about feeling in a slump and every couple months, volunteer somewhere where you can like see the tangible results of what you're doing. So maybe that's like helping out with folks who are learning English as a second language or like at a homeless shelter or something like that, where you really see the direct results of the time that you're spending, just to sort of like mix that in too, because it can feel a little bit like you're shouting into the void when you're just like sending out texts or, you know, canvassing or whatever else. So that might be

helpful, just nourishing to your soul. Gotcha. Yeah, there's a lot of, I'm in Utah, so there's a lot of LGBTQIA plus like charities and like homes for kids and stuff. So I have been looking into volunteering at some of those places. Amazing. That kind of stuff makes you just happy, you know, when you do that stuff. It feels like you're because it's so purposeful, especially when you can have interaction one on one with other people. All you have to do. All you have to do is give one kid. You know what I mean? Give one kid your love and your praise and make them believe in themselves. And like, then you're going to be off to the races. You're going to feel so good about having that kind of impact. Yeah, I'm excited about it. Okay, well, get going, Evelyn. Do everything we said, okay? Everything. Got it. I made a list. Yes. Awesome. Thank you.

Bye. Bye. Okay, we'll take a break and we'll be right back. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you

and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us tonight. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park.

Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really? No, really.

Yeah, really. No, really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really? No, Really? And you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. So our last question comes from Angela. She says, my roommate is the effing worst. Dear Chelsea, I really need your help since I have a situation with my roommate and I'm not as confrontational as you are. Goals. A couple of years ago, I was really struggling to find a roommate since I was unable to pay for the entire apartment by myself at the time. I asked my landlord if he knew anyone and he suggested his granddaughter since she was looking for apartments at the time, too. Turns out she is the worst. She does not clean up after herself.

She does not broom or vacuum or mop or even take out the trash. Broom? Is broom a verb? Broom. I don't know. The most she will do is take out the trash in one of the bathrooms, but leave the trash right by the trash can, which I then take to the dumpster. Her sisters sleep over and are extremely loud in the middle of the night. She also hides a dog in her room and ignores that I have called her out on it. When I clean the apartment, it takes up most of my weekend, since I feel like I have to clean for two.

It has gotten so frustrating that I do not have the energy to clean because what's the point if she's going to mess it up in a few days? I send her text to help clean and she either ignores it or washes her own dishes for a few days and then it's back to how it's always been. Here is the real issue. Of course, I've thought about moving out, but my landlord is the nicest old man and charges me almost nothing because of how long I've lived in the apartment. Rent is not cheap in L.A., and so I'm stuck here until I can buy a house later on. Also, I've come to realize that I don't think she's even paying rent because her grandpa now has her pay it directly to him, quote unquote. I do not want to embarrass him with the fact that his granddaughter is a slob.

Please help me in solving this issue. How do I ask her to move out? Angela. Oh, sticky situation. I heard one of you has a bad roommate past. Mm-hmm. That would be me. What was your roommate's situation?

I don't remember. Wait, Charles, did you too? She wasn't the greatest, but not at this degree. Yeah. This is tough because it's like, so it's the landlord's granddaughter? Yeah. I mean, that cheap rent, it's worth it if you can stick it out. But not if that girl's paying her father, grandfather directly. That sounds fishy. I don't like that setup. That sounds like what's going on there. The Noah grandfather is going to take money from their granddaughter.

I'm sorry. Right, right, right. She's getting a freebie. And then she's sloppy on top of it. Yeah. I wonder if you could like find another roommate that's like willing to pay more and be like, hey, it's a win-win for you. But I don't know.

I don't really know what you do in that situation because there's like a nepotism situation going on. I know. And it's like the only way to do it is actually to talk to the grandfather because you're not going to be able to reason with a girl who's like doing cleaning like that. I mean, that could go one of two ways.

Either they're going to be, the grandpa is not going to be receptive to that or which I think is more likely he's going to say, yeah, I totally agree. That's why I would talk to him first. Like, listen, this isn't working out. She's really messy. And we just don't have the same living styles. And she has people over all the time. I'm not getting sleep. I would really like to get a new roommate. Like, I would do that.

But I'm like, I'm just thinking about how that looks going behind her back if the grandfather goes. It's all a little bit. I mean, the best thing to do would say, tell her directly. And when she doesn't change her behavior to tell her grandfather that you've already spoken to her about it. Cause if you go to him first, he's going to say, did you talk to her about it? Yeah. Well, it seems like she has talked to her about it. So I think we are at the step of going to. She's ready. She's ready to's ready to evict her yeah i don't know and i think also one thing that always helps because you get so frustrated in these situations and i've had bad roommates before that you become so like just angry all the time that you you

you're angry at the smallest things actually write down the things that are annoying you about it so that you can take it to the landlord and be like hey these are the things this these are the things I don't care about but these are the things that I can't live with and so that's always helpful because I get so like pissed off that I like I'm not even coherent so I would try that but yeah if you've already talked to her it's time to talk to the landlord and it doesn't have to be super confrontational. Like if he's a sweet old man, you can just be like, hey, blah, blah, blah. And he will probably if he is a sweet old man, be compassionate about it.

Yeah. And it kind of I kind of get the vibe that maybe she can afford the entire apartment by herself now. So like maybe that's the move is just to be like, you can't afford the apartment by yourself. Definitely. That is your move. Yeah. Yeah. That makes it even simpler, you know, I'm ready to have this. If you can't afford the apartment by yourself, definitely that is your move. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That makes it even simpler because you just say, I'm ready to live alone.

I've been saving up for this and I'm ready. This is it. And since your granddaughter's not paying you rent anyway, it shouldn't make a difference. Oh, my gosh. So we have this friend who lived in this group of like five guys in a house. And you know how during the pandemic, like rent was sort of waived for a little while. And, you know, there was a point where they wanted to all have a conversation with the landlord to like figure out how much they owed in rent. And so all five of them were on the call, but only one guy was on the lease and they'd all lived there for years.

And as they like started to figure out like how much they owed the guy, they realized that the guy who was on the lease had been charging them all splitting the rent between the other guys so that guy wasn't paying rent at all for like five years oh my god so i love what you said about like just find somebody who'll pay more i know like first of all how do people react to when they find that out like what is your defense you haven't been paying rent for five years. You know you're not paying rent. What is your possible defense when you get caught? And the thing is, like, they all worked together

and they were friends. They were in bands together. It all blew up. It all totally blew up. Like, I, like, moved back to the Midwest or whatever. Yeah, because they're all probably like, you owe me, like, 10 grand. Exactly.

Like, oh, a lot of things have started to make sense. Like, why he's, like, you know, a part-time bar back and, like, can afford to live in L. Exactly. Like, oh, a lot of things have started to make sense. Like why he's like, you know, a part time bar back and like can afford to live in L.A. So, you know. Well, yeah, I think ask her to move out. And if you can't do that, like find somebody else who's willing to pay a little bit more. OK, well, that's the that problem has been solved. You girls were very impressive today. I knew you would be. so I'm not surprised. Thank you for having us. Charlie, how would you rate your experience giving advice on the podcast for the first time on a scale of one to 10?

I'll say nine because who knows? I mean, I'll leave some room for improvement. Don't want to limit myself. Jordan, Jordan, how would you rate your own performance on a scale of one to 10? I don't know, an 8? Okay, I think you guys both deserve a 9. Well, I would like to say for the record, I was rating my experience, not my own performance.

I'm not like an asshole. That was my experience. Oh my God. Well, this was really fun and we're going to have to do it again because people are probably going to love listening to these two Thank you girls Have a great rest of your day And I'll see you soon

You very soon Love you Love you Okay so Upcoming shows that I have You guys Auckland, New Zealand Wellington, New Zealand

Melbourne, Australia Brisbane, Australia Sydney, Australia We've added second shows To places that have sold out The first And then I I'm going to be in Hawaii on Maui, Kahului, and Honolulu. I will be there in July. Also in July, I'm coming to Niagara Falls on July 27th. I'm coming to Hollywood, Florida for my only show in Florida on July 28th. I'll be in Auburn, Washington on August 1st. And then Santa Rosa, California for my second show, August 2nd.

August 17th is the Santa Barbara Bowl. You do not want to miss that. And then I will be all over Maine, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston, South Carolina. I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to St. Louis and Kansas City. And then I will be in Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. My first three dates in Vegas are September 1st, Labor Day weekend, and then November 2nd and November 30th. I'm coming to Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November 8th. And I have tickets on sale throughout the end of the year in December. So if you're in a city like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans or Omaha, check ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. Okay. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com and be sure to include your phone number.

Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure,

and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really No Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.