Dear Chelsea - Everyone Should Try Being Gay with Karamo Brown

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

Karamo Brown is the first-ever in-person guest at Chelsea’s new home studio!  He’s here to talk about how he became a dad, breaking the cycle of abuse in his family, and why he wants to be single for a year.  Then: A bisexual woman wants to play the field, and she’s not sure how her boyfriend will react.  An ayahuasca experience goes awry.  And a puppy-custody dispute threatens to break a lifelong friendship.   * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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Transformational. The best antidote to a bad mood I've ever heard. Join the pack and start feeding your best self. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer.

Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships

and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections.

Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro, host of the hit podcast, Family Secrets. How would you feel if when you met your biological father for the first time, he didn't even say hello? And what if your past itself was a secret and the time had suddenly come to share that past with your child? These are just a few of the powerful and profound questions

we'll be asking on our 11th season of Family Secrets. Listen to season 11 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea. How are you? Oh, I'm well, thank you.

It's September. We're still in September. I feel like September is definitely part of summer now. It's not the fall. I was at Disneyland when it was 105 degrees. That's enough. Nope. No more talking.

I almost died there, so I'm going to have to stay away. There has been a heat wave in Los Angeles, and luckily I've only been there. I'm not there right now. I've only been in Los Angeles for six days this month. Oh, my gosh. So that's been good because I try to avoid, I try to hopscotch around the country to avoid the heat. But yeah, 105 degrees is gross.

Especially for like 10 days straight. My family and I are in the business now. My cousins and my nuclear family are all in the business now of buying a compound. Oh, I love this. We are looking in Connecticut, possibly. I told Molly to get on it because obviously I can't do any of the legwork. And she's responsible. And she's responsible and way more capable than I am at doing almost anything. When we were on tour this last weekend, I was like, can you just go up and do my set for me? And she's like,

no, that's one thing I cannot do. She probably knows it by now. And the only thing I can do is my set. It's like, I'm capable of doing nothing but talking excessively. And I don't even really want to do that either. I mean, I don't know. Everything I do is writing, talking. It's all word use. That's it. Yeah. You're that either. I mean, I don't know. Everything I do is writing, talking.

It's all word use. That's it. You're a specialist. I'm a talking specialist. Even my editor came back to me last weekend and we had to do a legal call. I had to do a legal call to make sure. For your book. Yeah, for these situations that are true. And my book is going to be published on a very special date next year.

It may or may not be my 50th birthday. So we will get to that when we get to that. But she was like, oh, we have to do and I'm like, listen, I don't know how many more conversations I can have about this fucking book. I wrote it. It's in great fucking shape. And like, let's wrap it up. I told Molly, I'm like, I have to do a call about my book. She's like, Oh, my God, is that book still going? Another one? I'm like, it hasn't even come out yet and I'm already done talking about it. We need to like manifest for you like things coming to a close, like things like moving the fuck on. Oh yeah, I know.

Oh, Doug. Not you, Doug, though. No, not you. You stay. We need you. Our guest today is someone you know as one of the Fab Five on Netflix's Queer Eye. He also has his talk show Karamo, which is back for its third season. So please welcome Emmy-winning talk show host Karamo Brown.

I clap for myself, by the way. That's why I walk through life. I don't wait for anyone else to do it. Yeah, no, exactly. You got to clap for yourself. If I could clap with my feet, I would be, but I can't. I could do other things with my feet, though, but we'll get into that later. Me too. I'm sure I was just about to say, obviously, you can too. We're recording in my house today, so this is very exciting.

You have a beautiful home. Oh, well, thank you. It's coming together. You're our first in-house guest ever. You started off right. That's what you gotta do. Exactly. Well, I always love a black man to start anything off for me. This is perfect. Okay. I want to talk to you about your story because it's pretty fascinating about your children. So, break down for us. You came out when you were 16, is that right? 15.

15. Yeah, 15. And you had already gotten someone pregnant unbeknownst to you. Yes. I like your style. Yeah, that's how you do it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She was my best friend. She was probably one of the first people I told that I was gay at 14 before I told my entire family, which was rough because I'm a son of immigrants. So my parents aren't from this country. Where are they from? Jamaica and Cuba. And the Jamaican side is very, you know, they're very homophobic. But I just knew I couldn't live my life without telling the truth. I'm somebody who just spits out my own truth.

Like you, no secrets. Tell it all. And so she had a boyfriend that was a senior when we were freshmen, and she didn't want to lose her virginity to him and be bad. Be bad in bed. Be bad in bed. So she asked if I would practice with her. And again, at 15, it made sense.

Like, you know I'm gay, but I can practice with you. I'm a male, so we can practice. And anything got me hard back then. Like the breeze of the wind got me hard. That's always something that comes up with men that had sex with women before they came out. People are like, how did you get an erection? I'm like, any teenager can get an erection by a curtain. A curtain.

It was anything. You know what I mean? The beating of the music in the car and all of a sudden I was like aroused. And so we did it. It lasted, no joke, five seconds. And I sat on the edge of the bed like pacing back and forth. I was like,oused. And so we did it. It lasted, no joke, five seconds. And I sat on the edge of the bed, like pacing back and forth. I was like, no, no, no. But I was just like, I knew I did not want to do that ever again.

And was it sex? It was penetrating. Well, obviously, because you got pregnant. I like penetrated once or twice. And then was like, I don't like this feeling. I don't like this. And I feel bad. Later in life, I apologize.

Because I'm like, I ruined your first time. Like, I'm on the side of the bed crying. And you're like holding me and saying, I'm so sorry. because I'm like, I ruined your first time. Like I'm on the bed of the side of the bed crying and you're like holding me and saying I'm so sorry. And I'm like, that's your first time. It's almost like you were in a threesome and you were the third person

that got left out sitting on the edge of the bed crying. Exactly, exactly. And then she moved away. This is 1995. So this before the internet, like the things that we know today, cell phones.

So when someone moved, if you didn't have their home address or their home number, you couldn't, you know, see them. And so I went on with my life. And then when my son was nine, I got a stack of papers for back child support from the attorney generals of Texas office. And I thought I was being punked

because that show Punked was on and I was on Real World back in the day. So I thought they were doing some like punked, you know, d-list version you know like let's punk the gay guy from real world and i was like i don't have a freaking kid threw the papers down and then soon that night i realized i saw her name that i hadn't seen since i was 15 my name and then this kid's name and then i went back to texas where i'm from to find out if it's true found out it was and then petitioned for custody of him six months later.

Full custody. Full custody. Because she was now 25 with five kids. So she was drowning. And so she had reached out for support to you, right? She didn't. Who was she? She applied for benefits and the state of Texas found me because she put my name on the birth certificate without me knowing.

Oh, okay. I see. And so when I showed up on her doorstep, she didn't even know that I was coming. And it's funny because I should have been angry, but I wasn't because the minute I saw her, we were 15 again. I know the broken home she came from. And so I just remembered us being kids. And so I just was like, we just started crying and laughing. And for the first 30 minutes that we reconnected, we didn't even talk about the kid. We were just reconnecting. And then she was like, oh shit, your son's coming home in 30 minutes. Do you want to meet him?

But what prevented her from reaching out to you this whole time? She said she didn't want to ruin my life like her life was ruined. Oh. Oh, my God. Yeah, she was like, we grew up extremely poor. And she was like, she wanted one of us to make it. And so her idea was, by me not having to deal with this, I would make it. And there's a lot of part to that that's true.

I talk about this with my best friend Trey all the time is that like, I don't know if I'd be here if I had to have the responsibility of raising a child at 15. Absolutely. You know, like I was afforded to go through high school. I was afforded to go through college. I was afforded to move to LA to kind of live my life.

And then a child popped up and don't get me wrong, I was still young, but now I had all the resources and enough knowledge to take care of him. But at 15, I mean, I don't think, I don't know if that could have screwed me up totally. I might've went back in the closet. I don't know. You know, I don't know where my life would have been

if she didn't make that decision. And so because of that decision, that's why I took custody. Because I said, I'm going to make your life easier in every way I can. And was she okay with you taking custody, full custody of him? Well, she was because of that decision, that's why I took custody because I said, I'm going to make your life easier in every way I can. And was she okay with you taking custody, full custody of him? Well, she was because of the fact that I made a promise to her that I would keep our family tight. So even for the first year and a half that I got him, I didn't move from Texas. Even though I had my place in LA, I'd made sure that every day we were going back and forth so that he felt connected.

But then I realized there was a bigger plan because within that year, she has another son who, because I worked in social services, I was a safe placement. And so instead of them moving all the kids into foster care, and so he came with me and it was supposed to be for six weeks, turned six months. And somewhere at that year point of him being with me, he was doing better. He's going to therapy. His grades was great. And he called me dad because he never knew his biological father. And I was like, oh, should I have two kids?

And so I went to her and I was like, they're both doing good. Should I take custody of both? And she was like, thank you. And we've been a tight-knit family.

And she comes, we're tight. We go back and forth. And, you know, so I'm like, you did it for me so I could be here so I'm going to help you.

Wow, that's really beautiful. So the lesson of this is every girl out there, sleep with your gay bestie. That's right. And hope that they'll make it on Queer Eye. And then, yeah, and then get their own talk show. Yeah. So how is that? I mean, what that responsibility coming on in such a burst.

I mean, you don't really have a lot of time to prepare for that responsibility so what what was it about it that made it so doable for you well it wasn't I I think I had this sort of blind delusion because my father was shitty and I knew that I didn't want to be him so I sort of I went into this with sort of like a vengeance of I'm gonna show you you fucker I'm not like you and I and if I'm being real with it, it wasn't that I was like, I can be a dad. I just knew that I wasn't going to be him. And I wanted him to watch me be better than him. But in that process, I learned so much empathy, love, vulnerability.

Like my kids saved my life because right before I met them, I was suicidal. I tried to kill myself two years before. My best friend, the same person is the one who found me. He was leaving for work and I just tried to do it. And then on his, he had a sense and came back and called the ambulance. So I was just having, and it was all based on daddy issues, all daddy issues, everything about my father hating me. You know, my dad was abusive to my mother, my entire life. And when I told him I was gay, he literally, in high school, because we lived together, my mother finally divorced him,

he would walk by me for weeks without saying a word. And now I know what type of emotional and mental abuse that is. But at the time, it was just our household. He would literally be standing in the kitchen and I would ask him questions to me like, talk to me, talk to me. And he would not because he was like,

I don't want to talk to your faggot ass. And so I knew that I could be better than him when I became a father. And that was sort of the catalyst. I'm like, yeah, give me kids. And what's your, have you had any contact with your father now? Yeah. A couple of years ago, like six years ago, which I thought was the money and fame, but he hasn't asked for anything. Fingers crossed. He came to me later and was like, I'm so sorry for how I treated you. I reconciled my relationship with religion and my relationship with you. And I realized I should have put you first. I'm sorry for everything I did.

Please give me a chance. And I had already forgiven him from years ago. I was like, I was like, you didn't know no better because your daddy didn't teach you any better. And you didn't know any better because you were hurting. And so I just, I gave that up a long time ago and he hurt.

And also I didn't want my kids to see me hating. So I was like. That's called the cycle breaker. That's from Ned So I was like- That's called the cycle breaker. That's from Nedra's book too. It's called the cycle breaker. Cycle breaker. Yeah. And so I just opted it.

I was like, you welcomed me back in my life. The only two boundaries I have is that you can never disrespect me in front of my children because if you have a problem with who I'm dating or who I'm loving, and secondly, you're not able to teach any of my kids any of your bad habits. So like, if you're drinking or doing these things, none of that. I said, if you can respect those two things, you're not able to teach any of my kids any of your bad habits. So, like, if you're drinking or doing these things, none of that.

I said, if you can respect those two things, you're fine. And he has not ever said anything bad. And when he gets around the sons, he is like an angel. And my mom's always like, that's all it took to make him a fucking angel? Put some boundaries on his ass? I know. Better late than never, though, right? I mean, people can be such big disappointments in your life.

But once they turn it around, it's like all is forgiven. I mean, if you're a healthy person who's able to forgive oh yeah there's a lot of people that can't but forgiving is so good for you it's so good well that's why i did it earlier because i realized when i was suicidal is because i was holding on to all this anger with him and i was like resenting him and it made me sadder and then i was like i don't want to be here anymore because like well i'm gonna end up being like him and like all this stuff. I had a boyfriend before when I was in my 20s that we were in a physical abusive relationship. And anytime I got angry, I would hit him. Did he hit you too?

No. I was a bully. I was my father. I was my father. And that sort of led me to that place of being depressed because I knew I was turning into him. Because it was the only model I have where, like, people would get mad and I would just go silent. I was, like I was turning into him. And I, cause it was the only model I have where like people would get mad and I would just go silent.

I was just like literally turning into him. And I didn't realize until I forgave him and told myself I have to work to be better. I have to work. I have to make conscious decisions to break this that I would have turned into him. And so, you know, I'm glad I didn't. No, I'm glad you did it too.

What's your relationship status these days? I'm single. And are you available looking for a lover? Hell no, I'm not. You're not? I am not. How old are your kids now? 26 and 24.

Shit. Yeah. That is crazy. I do not want a relationship. Why? Because they're trash. Well, not everything is trash. I want everyone else to find love.

I just don't want it right now. Well, that's normal to go through phases where you're not interested. Yeah, but I've never been single my entire life. Well, then that's why you need to be single. That's it. Yeah. How long has it been? That I've been single?

Mm-hmm. What? Two months? Oh, well, that's not a lot of time. I know, but I'm being patient. And you're not and you're not getting penetrated at all or no i'm sorry or penetrating anyone i don't know if you're a top bottom okay well i can tell by your body that you're probably a top a good top but yeah

i've been able to now differentiate tops and bottoms i'm like oh yeah well i mean it's pretty obvious you know but every once in a while you get yeah sometimes you're like well wait are you a top or a bottom? I don't know. Also, why the fuck does it matter? Why am I deciding? It's not like you look at a heterosexual couple and be like, does she get on top? You don't think about that. It's so gay. It's such a gay thing. But I appreciate you thinking about it.

Thank you. I'm just very curious. So how long do you think you'll go? What's your plan to remain alone? Because I think it is very healthy to be okay by yourself. You know, everybody needs to learn that. Yeah. My plan is hopefully a year or two. Oh, okay.

That's the plan. You think I should go longer? No, I think that's a long time. Yeah. Okay. Whatever. I mean. A year or two.

I know at least a year, but my best friend, he thinks it should be at least two. Because I haven't been single. Like the minute I slept with her, I got into a relationship with a boy, then got into another relationship with a boy, and to another one. And they're all long-term. I ended my relationship when I found out I was kids

and then moved kids in. And then during them, I had a 10-year relationship, broke up with him in 2020, then got into another one two months later, broke up with him, and then got into the one I was with for three years. But you must feel, I would imagine being on a show like Queer Eye really lends itself to confirming your positivity about your gayness.

Oh, yeah. I like being gay. I mean, right? What a validation. I swear most people should try being gay once in their lives. You'll enjoy it. Well, I think most people do try once. Some people try a couple more times than once, and you're like, ah, you might actually be gay.

Yeah, you might. Yeah. But I love it. And being on the show, yeah, it just, what it really does is like it helps, it feels so good to go into spaces where people might have reservations or like my father not know how to reconcile

their religion with their love of other people. And the fact that you can walk into spaces and then all of a sudden they're like, oh, we're all the same. Yeah, dummy. Of course we're all the same, but sometimes it takes people a little bit longer. And so to be able to be on a show where you just become that image that all people deserve respect and love and kindness feels good. Yeah. I mean, it's a good message well and for it to be such a huge hit and for it to be won so many emmys and beyond for so many years it's a big validation for gay people everywhere among the other cultural things that are happening it's it's

nice to see something like that be so successful can i tell you a story that i want to share with you that you're never going to remember? Oh, fine. I already know. I won't remember it. It's actually a really good one. Oh, good. I love it. Those are my favorite. Only because you brought up the career. I, before I was in television, came to your house.

This is 2016, 15. You lived, I don't even know where I was. Bel Air. Yes, with Charlize Theron's mother, Gerda, and her friend, Keisha Knowles. Okay. You probably don't remember these. You had a dinner party, and her friend, Keisha Knowles. Okay. You probably don't remember these. You had a dinner party and they somehow let me come. And I was there.

You were very kind. You were nice. And you said, what are you doing? I said, I work in social services. And he said, no, no, what do you really want to do? And I said, I really want to be a TV host. And she looked me up and down and said, you're going to make it. And I was like, oh, I thought you're being sweet.

And then you stopped and said, no, you're going to make it because you're thoughtful and you're kind and i really believe in you and you need to know me and those type of things when you're a big celebrity to say to somebody who's on the come up was just very kind first of all i was surprised you had me in your house me too i was like what the hell and you had me in your house and you said the kindest things to me that night i verbatim i remember it that's That's so nice. So nice to be here. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, that's so nice. What really surprised me was the stop and like,

no, I'm not saying this just to say this. I'm encouraging you on a very- I think it is very important, especially now that you're in that position, it is very important to always, A, see people and make sure that they know you saw them because it really does make a difference in every person's life when they are being seen yeah or when they are seen you know like and especially so much i feel this way about children you know when children are going through

tough times or they just need one fucking person and not to become famous but just to be to to have like their back to be like i see you i support you I've got your back and I'll be here for you. It really is something that goes a long way. And as you can demonstrate by your memory, it's meaningful. And I remember when people said things like that to me as well. Yeah. Because it's that extra pause. You know what I mean? I just think about leaving parents when they're busy and we get it, but anyway, you're talking to your kids, you're doing stuff. But when you say, let me put down and let me be present with partners kids with a stranger because that's what i was to you a stranger and that's why the pause and saying no you can make it meant something because it was

like you don't know who the hell i am you don't even know if i'm good or not but your encouragement in the pause was enough to say you can at least try and i believe And so appreciate you having me over your house. And she was right. Yeah, she was right. No, thank you for having me over your house twice. That's right. Oh my God. Yeah, exactly. The most important part. Okay. On that note, we're going to take a break and we'll be right back to take some callers. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your

financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle.

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on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who were the face of some movements and some people you've

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These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, alright? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone,

I'm Madison Packer, a pro hockey veteran going on my 10th season in New York. And I'm Anya Packer, a former pro hockey player and now a full Madison Packer stan. Anya and I met through hockey, and now we're married and moms to two awesome toddlers. And on our new podcast, Moms Who Puck, we're opening up about the chaos of our daily lives between the juggle of being athletes, raising children, and all the messiness in between. We're also turning to fellow athletes and beyond to learn about their parenthood journeys and collect valuable advice,

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and Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. And we're back. We are back. We actually have some very juicy ones today.

I love juicy. I love a juicy booty. Did you see my big black dog? I know, I'm beautiful. I finally have a black man to come home to every night. Doug, it's a male. They were like, we have a black one, we have a blue one. And I'm like, you know which one I want.

So beautiful. Look at him. He is. What kind of dogs do you have? German Shepherd mix, Husky mix, and a Blue Heeler. A Blue Heeler? What's that? Oh, they have a lot of energy.

Blue Heeler, actually, she was abused for so many years. So she's so quiet and all she does is protect me. But the Shepherd Husky mix husky makes a nightmare. High energy. High energy. Yeah. This is a fur. I haven't had a higher ninja dog in a while.

And I'm like, take it down a notch. Yeah. Seriously. Okay. And we're back. Catherine, what do we have? Well, we've got a shared custody situation with Zoe and McKenna. Zoe's the one writing in.

She says, hi, my name is Zoe. I'm 22. And my friend's name is McKenna. Zoe's the one writing in. She says, Hi, my name is Zoe. I'm 22 and my friend's name is McKenna. She's 23. McKenna and I have been volunteering at a local animal shelter for five years now. We've also been roommates for two years. Once we got our own place, we met a pup at the shelter and absolutely fell in love. We brought him home as a foster, but both of us knew we wouldn't be able to give him up. We adopted him and named him Billy.

For two years, we've split all the vet bills, the adoption fee, other costs and responsibilities for Billy, and we both love him very much. We knew we weren't going to be able to live together forever and planned to work something out when things changed. Well, things changed. I got a job in a city that's five hours away. Understandably, neither of us wants to part with Billy. And since I'm the one moving, I do see McKenna's point that it might be more fair for her to keep him. That said she's moving back in with her parents who already have two dogs and is a full-time student. She's still a good dog mom and would care for him but her parents would share their responsibility and she has two dogs at home. My new job would be hybrid remote so I'd be in the office two days a week and home the other five to spend time with

Billy. I've also looked into doggy daycare and walkers. I'm kind of nervous about moving to a new city on my own and would love to have Billy there with me. I expressed this to McKenna in conversation, and she brought up that since she signed the adoption papers, Billy is technically hers, so I can't take him. Since we're such good friends, I thought maybe there was a compromise to be made as I was a bit taken aback as this seemed harsh to me, like it could strain our friendship. In hindsight, we should have had more discussion on different scenarios of custody when we adopted Billy, but we were excited to have a dog and we both still love him so much. We're at a bit of a stalemate, looking for an outside opinion to help us move forward. Zoe and McKenna. Well, I love couples counseling. This is my favorite. That's what this is.

Hi, girls. Hi. Hello. Where's Billy? Oh, Billy is actually here. Do you want to see Billy? Come here. Hi, Billy. I see why you couldn't get him off. He's very sweet. McKenna, where are you right now? With your parents? Yes, I'm actually at my parents right now because we're having like a little family vacation. We're leaving to Kelowna tomorrow. Oh, you're in Canada. Yeah. Oh, I love it.

And so where did Zoe move to? Which city? She's moving to Vancouver. Oh, okay. So what do you feel like you're going to miss emotionally if you don't have this dog? The support. Like I feel like the emotional support he's like my heart my heart dog my soul dog and it's hard because we both love him so much but what is it that you need emotional support for what's going on in your life just like school and life and i actually i am a dog walker. So I feel like my life works well with him. Like I'm able to like take him out every day and I am going back to school, but like I'll still have

the time for him. And I always have prioritized him. But do you feel like you need somebody to support you right now? You feel like you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed? Yeah. I mean, I feel like I always have needed a dog just because like I've never lived without a dog. Okay. Do you feel a strain on your friendship right now because of this issue with your dog? I think we're doing a good job about like communicating about it and trying to like figure out what works best. But like, it definitely is hard to like make that decision. And when you found out initially that she was moving, were your thoughts immediately like, oh, I'll be keeping the dog because you're the one who signed the papers? I mean, like, I think because it's been both of our responsibility and because we've both taken care of him, I don't really think it's fair to say that I get him because of the papers.

But yeah, it's definitely hard to come to a decision. But you signed the papers, right? Yes, I did. And you said it's not fair now to say because you signed the papers that you don't get him? Because we didn't really talk about it. Like we never really had that discussion. But didn't you use the papers as a way to say that's why you should keep the dog? I mean, yeah, but I also like feel bad because we are friends and like I don't have any hard feelings towards her. But it is. But you said it.

Yeah. You said, I got the papers and it's mine. Yeah. What's making you want to backtrack right now? It's because you know that that statement might have hurt your friend and could have damaged your friendship? Yeah. Okay. Hi, Zoe.

Hi. We were just getting some backstory from McKenna. We were getting some backstory about the dog. And Karamo has a question for you. So, Zoe, when she said to you, I signed the papers, that's the bottom line. How did that make you feel? Not great. It was just kind of taken aback.

That seemed too serious for our friendship. We've been friends for like 10 years now. So that was kind of crazy. I thought we could kind of maybe discuss it or find maybe I could keep Billy till she's done school. And then maybe reassess after a year or just there was some I felt like there could be more solutions there she only said it the one time it hasn't really come up a ton of course of course no she's apologetic no I mean you want to keep your friendship together you guys want to maintain your friendship and figure out a solution can I

ask you Zoe like if you are moving to New City what about getting another dog that is yours alone i've thought about that but it's just like i you know i've known this dog for two years now adopted him when he was a puppy and and mckenna i know she feels the same too though but we both just have that connection with billy so either one of us for both someone's going to be sad i think for a bit right but is it a possibility for you to get another dog where you're moving? I think it, I guess it could be a possibility. I would prefer Billy. Don't want to just replace him like that, but it would be a possibility, I guess. And what about you, McKenna? If you think about it, what about you rescuing another dog and having Billy live with her for a while. Would you be open to that or no? I mean, yeah, I think I'd be open to, I don't know, like same with Zoe.

Like I just feel like it's so tough because like it is, he has been in my life for the past two years and it's really hard to just like, it would feel like I was replacing him. When you two lived together, whose room did he sleep in? Usually mine. Okay. Really? Really? He kind of switches it up sometimes. Okay. That makes sense. I have my verdict and I'm not a judge. Do we know? Do y'all know? I'm just thinking about what kind of

compromise can be made. And it doesn't seem like this is how I feel. You're moving. You're the one who's uprooting, right? So it is kind of not fair to assume that you get to take the dog because McKenna isn't the one that's leaving the situation. So I feel like it is tough because you did rescue the dog together, but you are the one that's changing where you live. Yeah. I do also want to ask, does Billy get along with your parents' dogs? Yes. Yeah, he does.

Okay. He's been around them quite a bit. So yeah, they get along super well. I mean, other than flipping a coin, what do you think, Haramo? McKenna, you are the winner. Okay. You get the dog. I'm sorry. The thing is that it's all stacked in your favor. I'm a dog dad, just like you're a dog mom. And dogs will let you know who they want to sleep with. They will follow somebody around. The fact that he slept in your room was a big factor for me. But also on top of that, you also signed the papers. And then thirdly, like you said, Chelsea, Zoe, you're unfortunately the one that's uprooting.

And so at this point, as much as I want to say emotionally, I would love for you to have that support. I think it's better for you to grieve the relationship with the dog so that you can strengthen the relationship with your best friend. Because at the point right now, you two having this disagreement when you're all about to move is going to cause dissension. And if y'all have known each other since seven years old, the friendship is worth it more where you can see this dog in photos and then get your own dog versus you all going back and forth like this and you losing something in that critical bond that makes you two so happy you know like i'd rather you have mckenna to talk to while you're moving and making this new transition in your life versus not having anyone close to you to talk to because you feuded over a dog and i also just think this is a really good opportunity zoe for you to get your own dog

like i mean i know billy was your dog i get it but you're moving and like you're moving into a new city it's a perfect thing. It's a perfect occupier of your time to rescue another dog. You don't have to get a puppy and put in all that work. You can go to a rescue and pick out a new dog because that's going to help you be more social. It's going to help you to meet people and it's going to help you to feel safer in your house.

And it's a great project, especially when you're new to a town and you don't know that many people. It's a great avenue. especially when you're new to a town and you don't know that many people. It's a great avenue. And I'm sure Billy is a comfort. But you've had all of this experience in the last two years of having a new dog, which is gearing you up to be ready for another new dog.

Yeah. Zoe, we're sorry. I wish we could side. We could tell you. But at the same time- I know, but we love- We do love you. We do love you, Zoe.

I was just going to say, you know, this will likely be forever, but not necessarily. You know, but we do love you. We do love you, Zoe. I was just going to say, you know, this will likely be forever, but not necessarily. You know, McKenna, you might move into an apartment a year or two from now where you're like, you know, I really want to live here, but they don't take dogs. You know, Zoe, is it would it be OK for you to take him? So, you know, there could be something else down the line. But I agree with Chelsea. This is an opportunity for you to expand the amount of dogs that you're saving and dogs you have to give love to. I mean, think about how many dogs out there need homes, you know? Yeah, and I mean, we also do work at a shelter together.

So I think before she— So you can grab one to take with you to go. Maybe we could go together. Yeah, go together. That's a good idea. I love that. McKenna, I love that idea. Go together and find her her new dog.

And then you can sign the paperwork on that dog too, McKenna, so that anytime you want the dog back, you can just take it. Zoe, I'm going to tell you, learn from your friend McKenna. Sign the paperwork, okay? Yeah, I got to get my name done. No, it's about the paperwork. It's about the paperwork. Get those receipts.

All right, gals, thank you so much for calling in. It's about the paperwork. Get those receipts. All right, gals. Thank you so much for calling in. Thank you for having us. And send us pics of your new dog when you get one. Bye. Bye. Bye. First of all, good problem solving, Karamo.

Like, you really handled that because I wasn't going to go that far. But we really actually made a decision for them. And now they have to stick to it. It's like they went to the people's court. Yeah, they did. But no, I mean, also, i'm pretty good at body language and i read it it's something that i studied and i could tell that mckenna's more anxious and has more of an anxious personality than zoe does and people with more anxious personalities normally do need compassion or and the companionship of a dog so that's why I asked her where her emotional state was because I can tell

when Zoe came on, she was smiling and happy. Yeah, no, that's a good point. Yeah. Really good point. Yeah. So. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities.

I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How To Money will help you to change your relationship with money

so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle. One thrives on fear and anger and doubt. The other, courage, wisdom, and love. Every decision, every moment feeds one of them. Which wolf are you feeding?

I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. I've been there, homeless, addicted, and lost. I know the power of small choices to turn your life around. On this podcast, I sit down with thinkers, leaders, and survivors to uncover what it takes to feed the good wolf. This podcast saved me. It's like having a guide for the hardest parts of life. The wolves are hungry. What will you feed them? Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden.

And together on the Really Know Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts?

His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all.

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And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme

with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture.

This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else, so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Hey, everyone. I'm Madison Packer, a pro hockey veteran going on my 10th season in New York.

And I'm Anya Packer, a former pro hockey player and now a full Madison Packer stan. Anya and I met through hockey, and now we're married and moms to two awesome toddlers. And on our new podcast, Moms Who Puck, we're opening up about the chaos of our daily lives between the juggle of being athletes, raising children and all the messiness in between. We're also turning to fellow athletes and beyond to learn about their parenthood journeys and collect valuable advice like FIFA world cup winner, Ashlyn Harris. I wish my village would have prepared me for how hard motherhood was going to

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This next email comes from Victoria. She's going to join us as well dear chelsea my life isn't a complete shit show but like most people in the world i do have a conundrum i have two beautiful kids a fiance a house a job a podcast and a very active social life work no i don't sleep the only problem is i don't want to get married and i'd love to explore the bisexual side of myself sorry not love to, need to. I always knew I was bisexual, but I never explored it because I was never attracted to anyone in real life until well after college. I've hooked up with girlfriends here and there, but have never officially dated a woman.

First and foremost, I always knew I wanted to have kids. So now that I have them, I feel like I'm ready to fully explore that other side of me. Of course, the biggest hang up is my fiance. When I was in my 20s, I never had any issue breaking up with a significant other. As soon as I found something wrong, I'd cheat on them and start dating the person I cheated on them with. It honestly was probably one of my biggest downfalls. But my dad taught me to never settle, and I took those words to heart. When I told my fiancé that I'm bisexual, he said he didn't mind if he was involved. Shocker. I bet.

And we hopped on the dating apps. A month later, I was pregnant with our second child, so that ended abruptly, and we haven't revisited it since. After I had the baby, we went to a friend's party a few months later, and I ended up cheating on him with a girl there while he was in the next room. I love my baby daddy a lot and care so much for his well-being, but we started as platonic friends, and deep down, I feel like that's what he'll always be. We've discussed calling off the engagement many times, but men are so afraid of being alone, I feel like he's guilted me into staying. I know you've never had this exact situation, but you're a witty smarty pants, so I'd love to hear if you have any advice.

Obviously, I need to move on and explore this other side of me, but navigating that road with all of the baggage is hard. Victoria. Hi, Victoria. Hi, Victoria. Hey. This is our special guest, Karamo. Victoria, we just heard your story.

And there was a lot that you're in turmoil over right now. Yes. Yeah. Yes, for sure. So I want to know, your father told you that you should never settle? Yeah. And what did that mean to you? I don't know.

I mean, obviously, I feel like most dads probably think that no one is ever going to be good enough for their daughter. But I don't know. He said it to me pretty young, and I just took it to heart. Do you think anybody is ever going to be good enough for you? I guess in what way? Okay. No, your laugh told me what I need to know. I mean, obviously good enough to have kids with, which is a big freaking deal, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But as far as like marriage and like a legal financial commitment to someone, like to me, that's scarier than having kids with someone. I hear you. I hear you on that front. And I respect that. I think that is also just a more contemporary way of looking at things also. Thinking about not settling, that is a good thing.

And it can be a stupid thing. But I think overall, it's a good thing to think that you have high value and that you're worth a lot. I mean, we should all be feeling that way about ourselves. It's pretty obvious that you want to explore women and you're attracted to women and that the guy that you're having your children with isn't somebody that you're going to feel attracted to for a very long time. So getting into a marriage under those pretenses doesn't sound

like an honest thing to do. So why would you, you know, and putting off breaking up an engagement, like freeing yourself from a situation is also freeing the other person from the situation. Just because it's hurtful to them in the beginning doesn't mean you're not doing them a favor by living under this like false hope, you know? And so I would, I would say to just be honest about where you are and that you're going to explore this side of you. He can figure out how he wants to handle that, but he deserves the truth so that he can make an educated decision. Like if you guys want to co-parent, which you're going to have to do for the rest of your lives anyway, right? You want to have respect for each other and you want to be honest with each other. And this is one of those major first steps in being honest and respectful towards the other person

is by sharing your truth and your desires. And they don't include marrying him. It doesn't sound like. Yeah. Yeah. It's just so tough. I don't know how to break it off because we have kids in a house together. But you don't necessarily have to break it off. Like you can say, hey, here's how I'm feeling. This is the situation. Think about how this makes you feel. And if you would be able to be in a relationship with me while I was exploring this side of me. And when you're not involved, it's not necessarily going to be a threesome every time. I'm interested in women. You know, maybe there's a guarantee of

saying like, I'm not going to be with men. You know, I'll tell you if that happens, it'll just be women. And that's what I'm looking to explore. I understand if you're not down with that, but I have to be honest out of respect for our relationship. And I think you'll probably get a bit of a different result than you're expecting. I don't know. He, I mean, he definitely, I don't know if he'd want to stay with me and let me go off and explore because I've already tried to do that and it didn't work out really well. So I know for him, it'll be better for him in the long run just to cut it off kind of as soon as possible because there are other reasons why I feel like it's not going to work out, but this is one where he can't change. There's nothing he can do in this situation.

It's kind of like something I have to do for myself. It's not like he did something stupid. I forgive him and we move past it. So I know in the long run, it'll be better for him and he can go find someone he'll be happy with. But it's just so hard because we have been best friends for such a long time. This is my thing for you,

because I agree with Chelsea. I agree everything she just said about the communication in this relationship. And I also believe that marriage shouldn't be for everyone. Like, I used to be so gung-ho on marriage. And now I'm like, girl, you don't need that. Like, that is so foolish. But what I'm most concerned with when it comes to you is that I think you're going to repeat this pattern whether you're with him or not. And the reason I'm saying that is because I'm watching you, how you're rubbing your head every moment saying, this is hard. This is hard. That being hard is about something that's going

on inside of you. And it started when your father told you not to settle. And there is something that is lingering within you while you're not making choices or communicating about what you truly need and want. And now you're getting stuck into these relationships where you know you're not happy. And then you feel like it's hard to break it off for them. But really what's hard is that you're not willing to face what's really going on in your heart sound a little right yeah for sure definitely in this situation when i was in my 20s and i found something wrong with a guy i'd break up with them no problem but with kids involved it's and since i have you know i've been best friends with him forever like i feel like a lot of people are like oh you know

you should be best friends with someone for 10 years and then date them. Like your relationship will last so much longer. But for me, I feel like it's so much harder for me to break it off because we are such great friends and we've had years of memories. Yeah. But that's why he deserves your honesty. Do you know what I'm saying? This isn't about being hard or difficult. This is life. You're an adult. You have children. You're going to have? This isn't about being hard or difficult. This is life. You're an adult. You have children. You're going to have a lot of decisions that are hard or difficult. And the way to actually act with integrity is to face those difficult situations with

as much honesty and grace as you can. And by avoiding it, you're putting your own happiness on the side and you're actually doing the same to your partner because you're not being truthful to him and you're not as happy as you would be if you were free to roam around and pursue what you're more interested in pursuing and there's nothing wrong with that so you have a family so there are many ways that this can resolve like he can agree to say okay I will let you go and explore or he can say no this is like I'm not going to be comfortable with that and And you're like, okay, we've been friends for this many years. We're going to make sure we're going to be friends for the rest of our lives because we have children and we're going to co-parent.

And what's Gwyneth Paltrow's favorite couple? Consciously uncoupling. Consciously uncoupling. But don't be a pussy about it because then you're just, you're creating problems for everybody. Yeah. Including your children. Because what they're going to see modeled for them is going to be you less than happy or you holding secrets and him less than happy.

And you don't want to expose your children to that anyway. You guys could have a great friendship for the rest of your life. And that would be more healthy for your children to see than a marriage that isn't truthful. Yeah. But there's something you need to face about yourself. I'm going to keep telling you and you're going to get off this call because Chelsea is telling you how to handle the

present situation perfectly. But what you're missing is you need to handle something within you. And I'm seeing it even as I ask you these things about you. You keep going back to kids. You keep going back to him. You keep going back to best friends and you're not focused on you. There's something going on in you while you're repeating this pattern and while you're making this choice and why this is hard. There's something because it's really not that hard for you to communicate. Everything Chelsea's telling you to do, you've already told him. You already told him, I want to do this. He caught you in the bedroom with somebody else. So you really have no issue with all that stuff. And there goes a smile. So you know that's true. You have no issue in communicating

what you want, but there's some fear that's inside of you that you're not tackling and i'm telling you if we dissect what you said your father told you young that you were still repeating to yourself whatever narrative he told you you've turned into something way different that is causing fear anxiousness anxiety in you that is causing you not to be who you need to be for yourself and it's now lingering into all these other relationships if i had about another 30 minutes with you, we could figure that thing out, but we can't. All right, Montel Williams. Listen to him.

I love Montel. He's like, fucking let's go. Okay. Listen. Do that soul searching. I think you got it. Yeah, and you got to like face up to these difficult situations.

I know it's hard, but you want to get some pussy and there's nothing wrong with that. You know what I mean? Like, what are you going to do? Put your needs on hold? You're putting someone's needs on hold at every point. Right. You know what I mean?

And that's okay in certain circumstances, but not for life decisions like this. And also, you're not married. So that's a huge advantage, too. You don't have to get divorced. Right. Still complicated, but it's less complicated. And, you know, I kind of keep coming back to what Chelsea's saying, like you're wasting his time, but you're also wasting your time. She is. Yeah, for sure. I feel like I just need to

put the hammer down and have like a more serious conversation with him because I have said like, I want to break up with you for X, Y reason. And he's just like, no, no, let's work it out. He's pushing really hard to stay together. And I feel like I just need to be like, no. Or also, it's not that you have to break up in this moment, but you have to say, I want to go pursue women, not with you. I'm interested in experimenting and seeing what's out there. And I need the time to do that.

If you're okay with doing that, great. If you're not, we need to talk about breaking up. Yeah. Are you afraid of being alone? No, I'm not afraid of being alone. I just, I don't know. I know you're going to yell at me for bringing up my kids again. No, I know what you're going to say.

But I just picture like- The kids, yeah. If we move out, like I move out or he moves out, whatever, our four-year-old's definitely going to be like,'s daddy where's mommy when are they coming back so you're afraid of disappointing your family no see i gotta figure there's some fear there i'm telling you even when she just said again i'm gonna put the hammer down it's natural to want to not disappoint your four-year-old but i agree but that's not a good reason either like four-year-olds are resilient well right i hear what you're saying but four-year-old, but that's not a good reason either. Like four-year-olds are resilient.

Well, right. I hear what you're saying, but four-year-olds are resilient. People get divorced. They split up all the fucking time. Yes. There is a deeper issue within you that you're not able to face your problems in a way that is solution oriented. You know, there are a million solutions here and you're just kind of leaning into just letting the status quo be the status quo and not making any move. You have to make a move. Yeah, for sure. And especially with the warning like this, especially with saying, hey, I'm going to experiment with women. I'm curious about women. If you can't handle that, then we need to talk about splitting up. If he says he can't handle that, then that gets you six months. OK. And in six months time, you're going to really know if that's who you want to be with, if you want to be with a woman. And then he's already had his serious talk and conversation,

and then it's not coming out of the blue. Like he can choose to stick around while you're experimenting with women. That might make you even more turned on to him. You don't know what's going to happen with all of this. You don't know if you really want to be with women, if you're just bisexual or whatever. So, you know, you should give it like six months and just say, hey, I want to be as open and honest with you as possible about what I'm feeling and thinking about. And there's no argument with that. There's nothing he can say. You can't start. I don't want you thinking about women like, come on, you know, there's nothing he can say about that other than I will tolerate this or I won't.

And if he ends up moving out and your four year old ends up having to go between homes, your four year old will forget that you guys were together within six months. That's how that's how resilient children are. They won't even remember. Yeah. Two happy homes is way better than one unhappy home where mom and dad are not really living their truth. Yeah, for sure. Okay.

And then, you know, you get to split custody and you have time to go date. By the way, no one advertises that enough. When you split up with someone, the free time you get away from your kid should be like a banner for divorce players.

Like you get a life again, you know, and then you can get all the pussy you want. Oh my God. All righty. Okay. Thatoria i hope you liked getting yelled at today i appreciate it i need it i need it okay good good okay keep us posted thanks thank you he's trying to get to the bottom of the he's like trying to get to the deeper issue because that's because it's my thing. But that's a longer, that's like a fucking four hour conversation.

It is, it is, it is, it is. For me, it's just that anytime I hear somebody's problems, it's for any problem. There's always something more. It's any problem starts with the I.

It's I, I, I. And so she can say about kids and all that. I'm a parent. I know all this. It's about you. And the thing that, the reason I want people

to understand, and this is for anybody listening, we say things to ourselves that we get out of childhood and we repeat them and they become bigger mountains in our heads and that one about what her father said

she didn't need to write that in that's something that Scott said to you and now it's plaguing you and it's playing with your mind and it's playing with how you see your world how you see your self value

how you see and she's not focusing on that she's like oh it's the money I want pussy it's not about the do want pussy you already your man already caught you in the next bed with somebody else i just wish everybody would fucking get some balls and leave a situation when they are not happy in the situation that's what i'm saying there's something there's a fear she has yeah but everybody has fears everybody has everything so like yes if

you're a therapist you have to get down to the you know the granular level and find out what the deal is but if it's a problem that she's dealing with well it's a result of that but it's also like okay let's figure out this situation yeah because even when you give her the advice the answer she wants she's still like well yeah she's not yeah because she's not there she's not ready to face it yeah she's not ready to face it and that's why i was like we can tell you all goddamn day to leave this guy and be honest with him and whatever. But she's going to repeat this pattern right after this. Even if she gets out of this, it's going to happen again. She said she's been doing it at different degrees since college.

I also wish people would just fucking make moves. Make moves. Like you have no idea how big and broad your life can be when you have the courage to say this isn't working for me you know and i know that's easy for me to say because i don't have children and i'm not married but there are reasons i don't have children and i'm not married so then i can fucking make moves okay on that note we're gonna take a break and we'll be right back inside you two wolves are locked in battle.

One thrives on fear and anger and doubt. The other, courage, wisdom, and love. Every decision, every moment, feeds one of them. Which wolf are you feeding? I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. I've been there, homeless, addicted, and lost. I know the power of small choices to turn your life around. On this podcast, I sit down with thinkers, leaders, and survivors to uncover what it takes to feed the good wolf.

This podcast saved me. It's like having a guide for the hardest parts of life. The wolves are hungry. What will you feed them? Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities.

I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to

optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer.

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today.

How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening?

Really, No Really. Yeah, Really, No Really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss.

Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen behind the scenes and they pave the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe,

and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else, so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right?

Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. I'm Madison Packer, a pro hockey veteran going on my 10th season in New York. And I'm Anya Packer, a former pro hockey player and now a full Madison Packer stan. Anya and I met through hockey, and now we're married and moms to two awesome toddlers.

And on our new podcast, Moms Who Puck, we're opening up about the chaos of our daily lives between the juggle of being athletes, raising children, and all the messiness in between. We're also turning to fellow athletes and beyond to learn about their parenthood journeys and collect valuable advice, like FIFA World Cup winner Ashlyn Harris. I wish my village would have prepared me

for how hard motherhood was going to be. And Peloton instructor and Ratchet Mom Club founder, Kirsten Ferguson. And I remember going in there a hot mess. So listen to Moms Who Puck, a production of iHeart Women's Sports and Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. And we're back. Well, our next caller is John. He's 23. And Promo, you're sober, right? Me? Yes. Ish?

Yeah, ish. Ish? Ish? Sounds like no. I just don't like hard liquor, so I don't drink a lot. No, okay, totally. So I'll drink like a beer. Okay, all right. Well, John says, Dear Chelsea'll drink it like a beer. OK. All right. Well, John says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 23 year old accountant who's been looking for inspiration in my sometimes boring life.

I turned to ayahuasca and psychedelics for some more insight and life guidance. And while the first many times were great, I had my first horrible trip. For six hours straight, I felt like I was in hell, strapped to a rocket, being blasted by colorful geometry and scary entities that laughed at how scared I was. Needless to say, I will never be doing them again and I'm committed to sobriety.

I'm focusing on gratitude that I'm back... What drug was this? Ayahuasca. Ayahuasca. Oh, well, hello. But he says he's done 5-DM EOT and all that stuff.

Okay. I'm focusing on gratitude and that I'm back and safe. And I didn't think I was going to come back from that hell. But I'm lost as to how to move on from this. How do I interpret such an awful time? How should I go about leaving this behind me? I'm curious to hear your thoughts, John. Hi, John.

This is Karama. We have a special guest today. Hello, Karama. I've seen your show. Thank you. Appreciate it. Love seen your show. Thank you. Appreciate it. Love it a lot. Thank you.

Okay, so you had a terrible ayahuasca experience. Yes, it was not. I'd gotten some stuff from some friends. And yeah, it just wasn't like it was tough. But I feel like it's helped me become a lot more grateful for a lot of different things. Well, that's not nothing. Have you ever done ayahuasca? Yeah, I did. I did a special on it on Netflix where you can see me do ayahuasca. But first of

all, that's a great gift that you got from it. Being more grateful and having more gratitude is already like a net plus. So you're acting like it was a terrible experience across the board, but you got something good out of it. So I think you should have gratitude for the gratitude. Yeah, and I definitely do. I think like for me, it just kind of has helped me realize I do kind of want to venture more into sobriety and just being more in tune with that. I've had a lot of problems with like alcohol

and just things like that throughout my life. And then that kind of like just scared me away from everything in a lot of ways. That's good. But these are all good things. You're looking at this as a negative and how to move past it. These are good things. You're becoming more sober and you're saying drugs and alcohol are a problem in your life. Great. You are more grateful. Great. Like these are good things that came out of ayahuasca. You're not looking at it

from the right lens, I don't think. Are you afraid you're going to lose friends? What's the hesitation then? No, I think it was just it was genuinely like a horrible experience. I keep like going back to it thinking, I don't know, like I have kind of a lot of guilt about it just because I'd done other things and I like thought it was. What was horrible? The visuals? and you just felt like it was like really dark, like a tough visual experience. And that was definitely how I was feeling too. But it was also like the aspect of, it just felt like very sinister and I was not used to that either. Like at one point I'd like become like a cancer patient in a hospital. I just had this horrible feeling and all I could think of was, it was like this voice telling me like, there are so many other people out there that feel like this way all the time and you need to be more grateful for what you're going through and things might be kind of boring or like tough in your life but it was still just that like horrible you know feeling that like I'll never really be able to shake kind of it's just kind of

I guess really just being more grateful about my life in general is kind of what I got out of it I guess but have you ever done EMDR therapy I have never done that now okay well that's a really good really just being more grateful about my life in general is kind of what I got out of it, I guess. But have you ever done EMDR therapy? I've never done that now. OK, well, that's a really good thing because that really focuses on a traumatic event that is bothering you. And then you live through that event again without having the same feelings that you had the first time. It's like electro. I forget what it stands for. Electromagnetic, whatever. EMDT, EMDR, EMDR. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Oh, good. There we go. And okay, so you could go to a therapist and do that and work specifically on that. And the other thing I would say is that sinister vibe and all of those things you are feeling, you can look at as a representation of what your life

would have become had you continued using drugs and alcohol. Okay, that's fair. That is a good wake-up call, and you should look at it and frame it in your mind like, oh, that was what I would have become if I hadn't woken up. Agreed. Okay, yeah, that's a good way to look at it. Because you're moving forward in a new way. That's the past.

It happened. It woke you up, and you're moving forward. There's no reason to let that experience haunt you. If anything, it turns the corner for you in a very positive way. Yeah, for sure. I see that too. I think it's just like still kind of the struggle of regular living. And, you know, I still kind of want to go back to it a little bit, but then I do like it is kind of a nice toolbox. So you don't trust yourself that you will make this decision and stay on this path? I think I will.

But you're struggling. There's a bit of you that doesn't trust yourself. I can see it in the hesitation of how you just put your head up. I know, but I trust you. I trust you too. And I think that that situation is your reminder to trust yourself,

to stay on the right path. That's what it is. That situation is going to be a useful tool for you moving forward in life. When you are tempted to get back into drugs and alcohol, you need to look at that and be like, I don't ever want to feel that way again. And that was your wake-up call.

And that was your warning call. And I trust that you will move forward in the right way. Okay. I know I will for sure. Thank you for saying that. That kind of cinches the deal. Okay, great. Then let's end this conversation here.

We all trust it. You got it, right? You got this. Thanks, John. I got deal. So, okay, great. Then let's end this conversation here. You got it, right? You got this. Thanks, John. I got this. Okay.

Bye, John. Bye guys. Well, this was beautiful. You were great. I mean, you are,

you're Montel Williams for sure. You're a cross between Dr. Phil Montel. And who's the other guy? Jerry Springer. No, not Jerry Springer. That's too trashy.

I would say Montel. But I like how you get to the heat of the moment. You're like, what is really going on? I'm like, we don't have time for this. We don't have time for this. We don't fucking have time for what's really going on. We have to take another caller. No, you're a delight.

Thank you so much for being here. You're amazing. I'm so glad you've been in both of my LA homes. I know. I'm excited. We'll have to get you to more. I would love to. I would love that.

Thanks, Karamo. You can watch him on his show, which is a national syndicated talk show on during the day, different times, probably, but it's called Karamo and also on Queer Eye. Yeah. Thank you for being here. Thank you. I was just kissing into the microphone. Goodbye, everybody. Okay. So upcoming shows that I have, you guys, I'm coming to guys. I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to St. Louis and Kansas City. And then I will be in Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel.

My first three dates in Vegas are September 1st, Labor Day weekend, and then November 2nd and November 30th. I'm coming to Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November 8th. And I have tickets on sale throughout the end of the year in December. So if you're in a city like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans or Omaha, check ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. Okay. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com and be sure to include your phone number.

Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial

goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you want a shortcut to the best version of you? Here it is. Feed the good wolf. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. Every week, I talk to brilliant minds and brave souls about the art of small, powerful choices. Our listeners say it all. This is a lifeline.

Transformational. The best antidote to a bad mood I've ever heard. Join the pack and start feeding your best self. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission

on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead.

The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity,

we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro, host of the hit podcast,

Family Secrets. How would you feel if when you met your biological father for the first time, he didn't even say hello? And what if your past itself was a secret and the time had suddenly come to share that past with your child? These are just a few of the powerful and profound questions we'll be asking on our 11th season of Family Secrets. Listen to season 11 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts.