Dear Chelsea - Getting the Update with Gaten Matarazzo

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

Gaten Matarazzo (Stranger Things) joins Chelsea to discuss why long-distance works in his long-term relationship, the Pork Roll vs. Taylor Ham drama, and why dog people might be assholes. Then: AI memes have one listener rolling her eyes.  A new girlfriend is destroying a friendship.  And a caller wants to give a big gift - but are there strings attached? * Check out Pizza Movie on Hulu and Animal Farm in theaters now! * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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From 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84's big to me. I'm Sam Jay. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors.

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on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcast. Okay, for the high and mighty tour people, we are rocking and rolling. These are the shows we have coming up. April 30th, Nashville, May 1st, Charlotte, North Carolina. May 2nd is Durham, North Carolina. May 6th in Los Angeles at the Sabon Theater for Netflix is a joke. May 15th, I will be in Saratoga. May 16th, Monterey, May 17th, Modesto.

I will be in Port Chester on June 4th. And we added two new dates to the High and Mighty Tour. On June 3rd, I am coming to Saratoga Springs, New York. So pre-sale has begun for that. And then on June 28th, I am coming to Nantucket, and pre-sale has started on that. June 5th, I will be in Boston. Boston, Massachusetts. June 12th, I will be in Portland, Oregon. And June 13th, I will be in Seattle, Washington. June 27th is going to be Hyannis, Massachusetts. August 6th is Red Bank, New Jersey. August 7th, I'm coming home to Montclair, New Jersey. August 15th is Calgary, Alberta, Canada. September 18th, Santa Barbara. September 19th, San Diego. September 25th, I will be at the beacon in New York City. September 26th, I will be in Philadelphia. September 27th, New Haven, Connecticut.

October 2nd, Atlanta, Georgia, October 3rd, Baltimore, Maryland. October 4th, Saginaw, Michigan. October 9th, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, October 10th, Toronto, Canada. October 16th, I'm coming to Boise, Idaho. October 17th, Spokane, Washington. November 7th, I will be in San Francisco. And November 13th, Salt Lake City. November 20th, Austin, November 21st.

November 21st, Houston, Texas, November 22nd, Irving, Texas. December 5th, I am adding a second show in Denver, for those of you who couldn't get tickets to the first one. And on December 6th, I will be coming to Vancouver, Canada. Okay, those are all my dates for the high and mighty door. Go to Chelseahandler.com for tickets. Hi, how are you, Catherine? Chelsea, I'm great. I'm going to Mexico tomorrow with two of my best girlfriends. We go every year, and I cannot wait. Te incanta Mexico. I know you love it there.

Good for you. This is your annual vagina trip, isn't it? Exactly, exactly. I'm going to drink a lot of margaritas, spicy ones especially, and just lay on a beach for like four days. I'm very excited. That's very nice. That sounds very relaxed auto.

Yeah. It's like nice to have time where you know you're going to be with your girlfriends, especially, you know? Absolutely. Yeah, to get away from Brad? Absolutely. I get it. Every man, you need to get it.

Everyone needs a break from their sleeping partner. It's true. At one point or another, except to me and Doug, but we don't sleep together. That's why I love him so much. Oh, right? He, like, sleeps on the porch protecting you, right? He just sleeps on wherever is the closest out to the room. He just likes to make sure he knows where I'm going and when I'm coming.

Okay, tell me this. Does he, like, follow you into the bathroom? Is he like a protect you in the bathroom boy? No, he follows me a lot, but he doesn't come into, like, the toilet room. Okay. I mean, yeah. Also, you're probably closing the door, I would imagine. Yeah, I am.

I don't just whip out my pussy at home and just start peeing everywhere, although I know some people who do do that. Takes all kinds. I have shows this weekend. I am going to Nashville, which is sold out, but I'm also going to Durham, North Carolina. That still has some tickets left. And then there's Charleston, South Carolina, which has some tickets. I'll be there this weekend.

And also, I'll be at the Netflix is a joke festival next Wednesday night at the Sabom Theater. Are you coming, Catherine? Are you going to be in Mexico? No, I'll be in Mexico. I'll be gone. But I'll see you on Friday with Yamanika. We're going to record with Yamanika on Friday. Oh, oh, fun.

Oh, excellent. Love that. I have a very good time. Okay, great. We have a great exciting guest. People are going to love this today. You know him from Stranger Things, and he's so ridiculously adorable. I fell in love with him during this interview.

He's here promoting his new movies, two movies. Animal Farm, which is in theaters now, and pizza movie on Hulu. please welcome Gaten Matarazzo. Hi. Hi. Long time no C. It's been a very long time. How are you?

I feel like the last time you and I hung out, we were riding bikes on the Netflix lot. Was that right? That sounds about right. That sounds like it was a long time ago, too. This is probably right after the first season. You're a young man. A young man.

Legally. Yes, I can legally drink alcohol now. 23 is legal. So 23, I think. Is a young man, when do you think you burst fully into manhood from a male perspective? That's subjective. I know some 25-year-olds who have got their shit together, and I also know some 35-year-olds who'm like, you can have a few more years of saying that whole young man thing. So I think that's, yeah, that's, there's, it's hit or miss. That's such a diplomatic way to say that.

Yeah, that was a good way to say that, actually. I think you're absolutely correct. It really doesn't. It's very particular. It's very individual. Each person. And it applies. I think a good gauge is to, if somebody tells me they're about to be a father, and my reaction is, congratulations, you are a grown man. But if it's, oh, no, then I think there's like a vibe in general. I like that. Do you think you are we ready to become a father?

Not even close. But is anyone ever ready to have a plenty of time? I guess that's the whole point is that no one's really ever ready. You can plan and plan. I mean, nine months is it long enough to prepare for something like that? Nine months, isn't. It seems like you would need like two and a half years to actually get your head around. But for women, they don't want to be pregnant for two and a half years.

I could imagine nine is already enough, more than enough. My trainer just had a baby. And he has... How's he doing? It's a pretty dicey situation. I mean, he's pretty excited because obviously, you know, once you have this kid, it's amazing. But he's like, there's basically like one hour of the day that's glorious. and that he feels incredible.

And the other 23 hours of the day is just them trying to make him sleep or not cry or feed him or give him formula. And I'm like, yeah, asshole. Didn't you fucking hear about that? Did you read the baby books? It's always so surprising to me when men are so surprised by what happens. By how difficult it must be to raise a human. Yeah, yeah. Well, congrats to you for A, not being pregnant, for not yet anyway.

You and your significant other. You're not having a baby yet. Not at this moment. Just cats. Just cats. Just cats. Oh, right. You're a cat lover.

I'm a cat lover indeed. Explain yourself. I'm an animal lover. I love dogs too. I've grown up with both. Okay. Well, I love dogs. I have no preference.

I do have that big one. This is great. I don't get, I don't think there needs to be a fight. And may I say, these might be fighting words, the only people I know who make it a fight are dog people. I don't know many cat people who are out to like battle dogs.

But that must. just mean that dogs are better. I mean, you're the underdog or the under cat. The under cat. Sure, the under cat. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. I do feel like dog people are the only ones that would be like, I actually hate cats when

someone says they have cats. Like, cat people would never say that. I don't think any cat people are, you're out and being anti-dog. Right, right. How many cats do you guys have? I have two cats. Okay. So we don't live together.

She has a cat and a puppy with her, with her room. It does, like, cat, a dog that co-lo exists very well together. They're very close. they weirdly get along very well. And I have two that are siblings, two cats. So your girlfriend has one cat and you have two cats. I have two cats. And all the three cats intermingle?

They do very well together, yes. Oh, good. That's cute. Which is very nice. I've heard it can be dicey to adopt sibling cats because then they like bond to each other instead of to anyone else. They do.

They're linked to each other, which is adorable because you get to watch cats like cuddle each other and that's always a treat. Yeah, I mean watching any animals You know what, you're right. You're right about, I take, I'm going to take that as a note. Because you're right, it is dog people who are the assholes about the cats. I think so too.

Cat people aren't assholes about dogs. Actually, dog people are assholes about some other dogs. Yes. Other dogs. Yeah. That's my thing. I hate the dog breed specification. A part of me is also, I don't know, some people like have like very specific ideas of what

dog breeds they liked or like a golden retriever family or a palmory. family. And I'm kind of in the boat. This is funny because my dad has a gold retriever. But I'm kind of in the boat of like let's no longer breed dogs. And let's just like have them all like just make more, make more mutts so that they can be healthier and also unique and fun. Yeah. I mean, that would be nice. But I mean, that would be fun. It feels like we've got a lot of some bigger problem. We've got a lot of bigger problems to deal with before we start doing that. But I'm all about rescuing mutts too. All I have are much. Although what I have now seems to be a purebred Chow Chow, but he was still a rescue because I went to this Chow Chow Place. And they always hook me up.

But he's so luscious and beautiful and handsome. They're gorgeous dogs. But he's so good looking that I just almost. He's like a Calvin Klein model. He is. Yeah, he is. He has to be more public facing, I think. I think so too.

Does he have, is it the Chow Chow Chows have like the purple tongue? Is that true? Yeah. So cute. Very cool. It's so cute. They're beautiful dogs. Yeah, they are.

They're kind of aloof, but this one isn't. This one's a real lover. Yeah, he backs into people. I have one friend in Whistler. His name is Kyle. He's scared of my dog. And so Kyle's not going to be a friend for very much longer. Sure, this is understandable.

Yeah, days are numbers. That's just annoying. You know what I mean? That's annoying. He claims that my dog bit him. My dog never bit him. He nipped at him because he came up from behind him. My dog has bitten somebody.

But this was when he was young and I sent him back to school for them. He's chilled out, yeah. He's chilled out for sure. Well, sometimes that's just how it goes. it's hard work taking care of an animal and making sure that they're a good state to be around other people. Sometimes it's a trudge. I respect those who take their time doing it. Because sometimes people like, oh, cute.

I'll just get like a fluffy living teddy bear. And they're like, oh, this is a creature with habits and likes and dislikes and boundaries that you have to figure out. Yes, exactly. Yes, you do have to figure them out. Or you have to lay down the law and be like, these are the rules. Especially with dogs. Yeah, you have to give. You can't really train cats.

I mean, you can give them accustomed to affection, but you can't command cats. You can't make them sit. They don't register positive reinforcement. They're like, give me a place to hoop and eat, and then I'll decide if I like you. If you really like cats, you should go to Istanbul. There are cats all over the city. Dogs too, but more cats. And in the restaurants, they come up and they sit on the thing.

I mean, I'm not one of those people who goes crazy when there's animals around. Like, I'm not upset if there's animals in a restaurant. Oh, I get excited about it. Yeah, like, I don't care either way. Like whatever, I'm not going to be like, get away from me. And a lot of the women there, like, at different restaurants, were, like, freaking out because I guess, you know, maybe they can carry worms or something. But also what's crazy is, like, I'm very much a believer of indoor cats because they are,

when released out into the world, they're invasive species. They kill it. They're murderers. They're a bunch of birds. They overpopulate, like, crazy. And so I'm very much in favor of, like, any, of, like, well, there's, like, the catcher release, like, stray situation where they'll, like, neuter, like, stray. and then release them back out.

So there's not like a bunch of new kittens because they repopulate like crazy and they kill like so many birds like in the billions. Oh God. They're fast. They're full murderers. Yeah.

They're out here. They're doing it. They're doing it. They're nuts. I saw it. I saw it in Istanbul. He was climbing a tree. This little cat was climbing a tree

and there was a bird at the end. And the birds looking at the cat and the cat just kept inching forward and forward. I'm like, is this bird going to get a clue or what? No, that's, yeah. That's on then. They got to be cautious. Okay, let's talk about your projects, Gaten. You have a lot coming up. I know, I know. It's like a veterinarian school here. So you have two big projects coming up. We everyone knows you, obviously, from Stranger Things. You were on that show for how many years, 10 years? I was on that show. Now it's been over 10 years, yeah.

Okay. So you, but you've also done a lot of Broadway, which I want to hear, because you've done musicals and that was surprising to me about you. But let's talk about Animal Farm, the movie. You have that coming out. You have pizza movies. but you have Animal Farm. So I haven't read Animal Farm in a long time because that was kind of a book you read during school. Right? Required reading. I read it. Yeah.

So why don't you give me a book? Can you break down like the kind of encapsulate what the book is about? I know it's about communism and pop quiz. But I'd like a fresh update. Right. Yeah. So it's about, it's one of Orwell's classics

of telling the story of, well, it was mainly based on the Russian Revolution and its growth and its development into communism, but it's told through the lens of a farm that has the goal of being self-sufficient apart from humans. And it's brilliant and terrifying and incredibly insightful. And I kind of became obsessed with it when I was in junior year. I think a lot of times when you receive a book for school specifically, your immediate reaction is to be like, and it was one of those that's just impossible not to be intrigued by. And I've always loved it. I've read it a number of times. I read it

read it several times when I was at school and when I was approached with the project, I jumped back into it and number of times. It's also a very fast free. It's probably, I think some copies are even under 100 pages. And it's, yeah, very easy to just devour. And also a tough one to tackle and making a movie because they tried it several times. And it's never really quite landed. And I saw the team involved. I saw that Andy was spearheading. Andy Circus, of course, was spearheading the project. Give us some background about Andy Circus. Andy's an incredible creative, a wonderful director, an incredible actor. I think a lot of people will know his work. He's very famous for the motion capture style of acting, where he was famous for leading the Planet of the Apes

prequel trilogy and... Like, Ghalom and Lord of the Rings, of course. And what's really been... He's one of the most captivating actors I've ever had. A lot of actors will probably reference him when talking about seeing somebody who doesn't really seem to have a ceiling. Anytime he's see him. It's kind of the epitome of just letting go of everything. He has the ability to kind of become inhuman in the best way. It's insane and incredible to watch and intimidating. And if you're

going to have a certain person's brain to kind of capture such a human story through the lens of not humans, it really does feel like Andy's the best person to tackle it. And it was kind of a no-brainer when it was approached, just to be able to work with him and work with his team. and this incredible cast around it. And it's always one of those where any time you jump into something that's so loved,

respected, and a book that's quite feared, it's always going to be a swing. And I really think that that's the only way you can approach this. You can't safely approach making a film of Animal Farm. You have to kind of jump in head first and have your take. And it was a pleasure to do. It was cool.

First of all, great explanation. Thank you. Oh, Grant. Well, I'm glad. That was very comprehensive. Okay, cool. You're very impressive. by the way. Yeah, you have your shit really together, which is, you know, it's just so nice to see children actors, and I think we're living in a different time because we saw so many people have such a hard time with fame early on. And I don't know if it's more musicians or more actors, but I think it kind of bleeds into both, but it's so nice to see all of you kids from stranger things grow up and be normal, successful, like functioning adults. Like, it's really nice.

I mean, child labor laws is a dream come true. I think there's a lot more of an emphasis on ensuring that kids jumping into the industry do so safely and under very under quality supervision with sensible working hours and now education is prioritized as well of ensuring schooling hours and tutors on sets. So it's a it's a very good time. If one was to be a working actor as a kid, it's a safer time to do it now than either has been. So we're very lucky. Does it make you feel like as you go as we're talking about this pizza movie, which is the premises that you guys have, I'm not really giving anything away, right?

If I'm not really up in the trailer. Right, right, right. So you guys are... It'd be hard to. It's a wild movie. You're taking a drug. Is it the 5D MEOT? Is that the drug you're taking?

Or is it... It's an experimental, fictional drug that is found and left there by the previous tenant of the dorm that they both find. And after a really crappy day, they both had. And my character, Jack, looking to get obliterated

as a lot of college-age kids do. They agree. after minimal research to take this drug, only to come to terms of the fact that it's actually going to cause a hellish nightmare of an evening unless they fill their stomachs with food. Pizza to be more specific. Pizza to be more specific. The plot convenience is referenced and very much understandable.

You got to watch it. We're aware. It's a simple enough structure that you can watch it while probably very stoned, right? Oh, of course. Are you kidding? It's the ideal way to do so. Now, do you feel pressure for being in a public figure as a child growing up into an adult now that you're 23 years old? Do you or have you felt pressure about your image and maintaining this kind of like childlike image?

Like, are you freely allowed to talk about drugs? Do you freely talk about drugs? Like, now that all that stuff is legal, like how does one in your position approach that? That's a good question. I think was also, this is a testament to the standards that people hold towards child actors, which is, I think, back a long time ago, I would really suggest a lot of the times the image of child actors growing up and kind of ruining whatever it is that they had built was kind of encouraged from a media standpoint. They wanted to look for those stories and they were almost excited by that tabloid.

And so anything that they could to kind of switch it around towards that department was kind of prioritized. I think a lot of times kids did struggle, but a lot of it, if you'll talk to people who grew up in the industry, was very much overblown or even fabricated. And now I think because interaction between public figures and the people that enjoy what they do for a living is kind of more personal rather than there's no middleman of media telling you what to think about people,

you can kind of just say it outwardly, how you feel about something, your perspective on things. There's not really a desire to see kids. go through obliterating their self-image, which is refreshing. But nowadays, if somebody who's 19 in college just has a picture of them smoking a joint, it's like, oh, yeah, I did too in college. There isn't really anything stupid. It's not really a tablet anymore.

So I guess talking about stuff like that openly has been less of a faux pa or less stressful of late when there's a lot more understanding around the subject. Yeah, I'm wondering if there's a relationship between that and social media. because during the Britney Spears, Lindsay Lowen era, like there was not. That was right before all of social media began. So I wonder if now, because there's so much less mystique behind everyone,

like you kind of are, and also cannabis is legal now. But also media was so much more, I have to acknowledge, because it was so much more aggressively unkind to young women in the industry than it was to the men. Constantly.

So it's not like I could just be like, yeah, it's great now when there are, you know, female colleagues. of mine who consistently have to deal with not just a lot more pressure, but predatory behavior from media still. So that's a whole different ballgame. I acknowledge that there's a lot of privilege that comes along with me saying, it's better now. For me, it is. I'm very lucky in that position, but there's still a lot of work to go in that department. Yeah, well, good for you for saying that.

You're absolutely right. This is the difference between men under 40 and men over 40. Or no, I think The iPhone update hasn't hit men over 50. Right. Like they need an iPhone update about wokeness, about terminology, about respecting other people's differences. And then men, I think, like, below the age of 40 seem to be much more with it. Maybe 30. Maybe below 30. Because that's a different generation.

I'm just trying to include the guy I'm dating right now. But, you know, I mean, he's 37. So it doesn't really work that way. Yeah, I got to cut us with slack. Gaten, you've been with your girlfriend for, can we talk about your girlfriend? Are you cool to talk about your girlfriend? No, I love to. Oh, okay.

I love that girl. You've been, oh, that's so sweet. I love it. You've been together for eight years? Yeah, we have. What the, so you started dating when you were nine? It seems like it. Yeah, we were 15 when we started dating.

You're not nuts. How did you meet? Wild. We went to school together. Just regular school? No, we went to school. We grew up in the same hometown. In New Jersey?

Yeah, in Jersey. I'm from Jersey. I'm from living school. Where are you from? Oh, cool. I'm from here of tough. in New Jersey. It's so fucking weird. It's so... It's down south. It's about 10 minutes inland

of LBI. There are so many cities in New Jersey that I've never heard of. Meanwhile, it's one of the smallest states. It's a very tiny town. All you do is you just, I'm constantly meeting people from cities I've never heard of, and I grew up there. Right. So strange. It's a bigger state than people realize. I guess so. For sure. A lot of people. So you grew up by LBI. Yeah, not too far. About like 20 minute drive. What do you think is the most New Jersey thing about you?

Oh, man, that's a good question. I fully believe that Central Jersey exists, and there's a debate there. Do you ever hear this debate as that Central Jersey doesn't really exist as a place? I think I missed that. You don't know this debate? No, tell me. Well, there's a debate that Central Jersey doesn't exist, and I just am in the boat that you can't really call Princeton or Trenton or Red Bank.

You can't call them North or South Jersey. Okay, all right. It just wouldn't make sense. So I think that they lie in Central Jersey. And people from Central Jersey, usually across the board, I can't speak for everyone, firmly believe it exists. There's a pretty firm dividing line. But also, do you know the pork roll Taylorham debate?

Excuse me? What were all those words? Come on, Chelsea. The pork roll Taylorham debate. No. You know the substance, pork roll. I can only call it a substance. Yes, yes, you can.

Yes. I don't know what this is as a Midwestern. Pork roll is a process. meat product usually made in a classic breakfast sandwich, which is like a classic like meat egg and cheese combo. It's porkal egg and cheese. You fry it up. It looks to the eye like baloney, but has more of, I'm trying to think of the text.

It's got more of a bite to it. Spam? Like spam? It's like spam, but kind of bitier, not as mushy. And it's very salty. I feel like if you grow up with it, you love it. If you never had it before, you're like, what is the sensory? overload. I'm obsessed with it. I do a little ketchup, salt and pepper as well. But people from

South Jersey usually call it pork roll, and people from North Jersey call it Taylorham. And I'm in the pork roll boat. I see. Okay. Morek roll versus Taylorham. Okay. Thank you for breaking that down. This is true. Absolutely. This is a great little Jersey seminar. I know. This is fun. Also, the sports team is a big debate on like, what reasonably what sports teams you should like. Because I grew up in Philly territory. But my dad's from Patterson. And so, I'm New York sports across the board because he grew up up north where New York sports were the thing. But now, but there's also the devils are like one of Jersey's only teams. So it's like people dog on me for not being a devil's fan because I grew up in Jersey

and there's not many Jersey teams. But it's inherited. So a bunch of new fun topics we could go over. What about baseball? Who are you into baseball? Mets or Yankees? Mets. I'm a Mets guy.

Okay. I'm a Mets person too. I think that's a Jersey thing. Most Jersey people are in Mets. That's a very Jersey, Long Island. Yeah. And then what about, but what about the Knicks? I love the Knicks for sure.

I don't watch a lot of basketball, but when I do, I root for the Knicks for sure. I don't want to, like, claim I know a ton. I'm a big hockey guy more than anything. Oh, that's funny. We just bet on a hockey game. The guy I'm dating is a big gambler, so I like to gamble. He likes to gamble in whatever cities I'm in. And I just, we just bet on our first hockey game.

What city was I is? Not Cleveland, Columbus. Columbus Blue Jackets. The Blue Jackets, and we won. Yeah. He won. Yes. They've been on a heater.

They've been very good of late, which is fun to watch because that team deserves it. They've been very bad for a very long time. So it's good to see. Well, with the name like Blue Jackets, I mean, how far can you really get? It's fun, no. They're cool. Every time they score a goal like cannon fires in the stadium. Oh, really?

In an ice ring? It's awesome. That's interesting. Well, not like, there's no projectile within the cannon. But like, there's like a cannon fire. And it's cool and all their theme is like they're based off of like the blue jackets that the American Army warder in the revolution. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. There's a military reference. I remember looking this up because I was like, is this racist? They're a fun team. They're a fun team. Gaten, okay, back to your, back to your girlfriend, eight years. I want to know. So how does one, I can't believe you've survived this long with your your relationship from that young age. From that young age, well, the two of you, I mean, not one of you. I mean, that you've managed to stick together. She's an actor too. You've managed to stay together for eight years. I mean, that's very unusual. So let's discuss how that works for you. Oh, it's great. Well, we communicate really, really well. And I think like a big kid to it is thriving through distance. And that's kind of what we were like thrust into early on was I was working on the show.

And she was also simultaneously pursuing and starting her own career in a similar industry, in the same industry. So so much of our work has to do with us leaving the city and being able to communicate through that and do it very well was kind of a telltale sign that this was working pretty well. Because it's very rare that I think it can feel good because that's usually what like a lot of times long-in-since relationships usually just get like they fizzle out because it's so hard not being in the same city as as the as your, your person. And what's great is that our home base is the same. So anytime we go and travel for work, we know we're coming back to each other here in the city. Yeah, but you don't live together. We don't live together. We live very close to each other.

Okay, well, that might be another reason why it's working out so well, because I do think, I'm with you on the distance. I only like long distance. I like that. I think it's good to miss people. It makes you appreciate them. It is tough. It is tough. It is hard, but it's worth it, I think.

Because, you know, when I'm working, I don't really want anybody up my ass. I want to be, like, alone when I'm working. I think because we work in the same industry that that is something that comes, because it's such a weird industry to make your living doing. It's such a weird one that not a lot of people know the ins and outs of. And so we both work in similar environments and we can talk about each other's day to each other. It's very rare you'll come across the person who kind of gets what that looks like. And so that also helps quite a bit. But it's also very rare.

I mean, it's not completely unheard of, but it's very rare to grow up with someone because that's essentially what you guys have done. If you met when you were 15 years old in high school and now you're 23, like that is crazy because you've seen each other kind of, you know, become a young man and a young woman. We became adults together. It's bizarre. Yeah, so that's nice. I'm glad to hear that. Good for you. Congrats on your relationship and the success of it. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. Very much. She's a wonderful woman. I hope you get to meet her. She's really cool. I'm sure one day I will. I am sure I will. We're going about to go into the advice section of this. But on the subject of advice, can you think of advice you've ever gotten? That's a really good question. I have one. I'll start.

Please shoot. I don't know if I've said this on this podcast, but maybe I don't think so. I'm sure I said it. on someone else's. I did stand up for the very first time of my life. I got a DUI when I was 21 years old. Congrats on not getting one of those. Thank you very much. You're welcome. And I had to go to DUI school where they would make everyone get up and tell your DUI story. So at this class, I was very, very scared of public speaking, very scared to get up. I had never thought about doing anything like that. Like I came to Hollywood and I just thought someone would just decide that I should be successful or famous. And I instead would hide every week during the class because I was so nervous about speaking publicly and telling my DUI story, which was absolutely absurd and ridiculous.

I was literally in front of my house and didn't know it. That's awesome. Yeah. So I go to DUI school, which is every Thursday where they shame you basically, you know, about your DUI, which is appropriate. But they also weirdly teach you how to get out of your next one if and when you do. They're like, Oh, good. That seems like an interesting route to take where it's like, all right, here's how you get better at doing this. That's exactly what I was thinking, Kate. That's a shame.

They were like, you. What if you do get caught? If you do get caught just no matter what, as soon as you admit to one drink, then they have the right to pull you out and give you a sobriety test. And I was like, okay, this guy seems like he's on our team. This is a program for and by people would do you guys. Yes, yes, exactly. So then anyway, I got up on stage at the very last class.

I was trying to avoid it. He caught me. I get on stage. I tell my DUI story, which was crazy and silly. And I spent like two days in women's prison because the systems had shut down. Oh, Jesus Christ. I couldn't get bailed out. I called the cop racist.

We were both white. Like, it was just a hot mess. So I get on this stage. I'm telling this story. Thank you. And everyone is laughing. And I get off stage. And like a few people came up to me and they're like, hey, you're really funny.

You should do stand-up comedy. You should do it. And I was like, oh, I. I had never thought about it. I was like, okay, I'll take advice. I was like, that might be a good outlet for me. So I go to the next week. I go to the laugh factory.

You have to wait in line. And I get on stage. And then Jamie Massado, who runs the laugh factory, comes and reviews your performance. And after I did my three-minute set, he told me that I should wear a bird on my shoulder. Or I should have a bird on my shoulder to set me apart from other pretty girls. And I thought, that's, I knew in that moment, this is some of the worst advice I've ever gotten. Wait, was that a figurative bird? No, it was a bird.

He said I should get something to put on my shoulder, perhaps a bird. Because this was like back in the day when like people would wear a silly hat or they'd like have a little stick. Like a visual gimmick. Yes, yes, exactly, a gimmick. And so that was bad. You got anything like that? That does sound bad. One thing that I got and the thing is that I think this piece of advice is coming from a very good place.

And I think that for some people it would work if their goals aligned with this. but it just didn't for me. One thing that somebody told me, like, right as Stranger Things was getting very popular, and a lot of people started to recognize me as Dustin from Stranger Things, which continues to happen and will continue to happen, as far as people notice me from the things I do. That will be the primary thing they mentioned,

which I love completely fine with. The advice I got was right to the end of the earth, play characters like that always and forever, and don't try to do anything else because it'll come across his lane. I was like, what? He's like, just be that. Just do that and you'll work

as long as you could possibly want to. If you just do that guy. So basically become pigeonholed. Kind of, yes. He was like, I know people are going to tell you not to, but do it. It's a guarantee of consistent work. And I understand that mindset.

I understand because like, and you know what, to give him credit, a lot of the things that would come through throughout my filming process of that, were just things I'd seen before. We saw you do this and we know you have this in your toolbox. So can you come and do it here? And I understand that segue.

Because a lot of people spend so much at their time trying to find a way to make consistent work doing this. But the way I started to look at it was I found myself in a very fortunate, very lucky position, having worked on a show as successful as Stranger Things, that now I actually have the option and the ability to decide what it is I would like. to work on and how I would like to represent myself as an actor outside of it.

And so kind of a part of me was, I took that, I was like, I don't really think that that would make me very happy. And I have the ability to work with the priority of making myself happy, which I'm very fortunate to be in that situation. So now I kind of weirdly approach it with the polar opposite mindset. And if I see something I've done before, I probably will not be very interested enough. And I really only gravitate towards things that seem like they would be a pretty stark challenge to me. So maybe it did inherently kind of give me a bit of like reverse psychology of like, I'll show you. Was it an actor that I gave you that advice? This was a producer. They said they were a producer. This was just somebody at a cocktail party that whose name I don't

really remember. Right. And they were like, come here. Let me tell you something. I'm like, okay. But also like what foresight to hear that and be like, oh, no, no. That's actually not good advice for me. I think after hearing it, I immediately knew for me, I was like, ah, I'm good in that department, which, yeah, so that was for me, some of the worst advice I think I got. That's good, bad advice. Thank you for. Good bad advice. I think it's good bad advice. Okay, what do we got, Catherine? All right. Well, we have some advice questions. Our first one is our one drink question. My bestie won't stop sending me AI slop memes that she, quote, made. She'll make them of us showing us doing something silly, she'll make them of some offhand comment one of us made. The thing is, they're never funny,

and I feel guilty about the harm it's doing to the planet to make personalized memes that are deeply stupid. How do I ask her to stop sending these without hurting her feelings, Yana? Blame it on the planet, Yana. Blame it on the planet. That's a good start. You should just go. First of all, you can go and find out exactly what happens anytime you ask any of these AI platforms for, ask them a question, tell them what happens on one of these lithium farms. Hopefully you don't have to go on one of these AI things to get the answer because that kind of defeats the purpose. But they will tell you. I did a do it once. I will tell you. AI will tell you how bad it is. Yeah. Just send to them immediately without any other response. Just send them the estimated amount of water it took to make

that name. Exactly. And just send that back. That's a really fun. That's a great new way that like the conversation around it has been dominated when really the internal vibe is really, I just don't want to deal. This is insufferable. Please don't do this. I think sometimes you just got to hurt people's feelings. I also, but I also think that this is a great way to end all of it.

Like, you sending her that back is pretty clear about we, I don't want to see these anymore. Also, just say that. I don't enjoy this. Forget about the content, but I think there's a bigger, like, there's an opportunity to say two things. I don't like this. And I also am against using AI for. stupid shit like this. I mean, I try not to use AI ever once I found out what that, what's entailed. Okay, that's a pretty new conversation. Yeah, like people are being affected in rural communities

where they're building these lithium farms. They can't get clean water. Pretty hardcore. It's pretty bad. So that should be it. It seems pretty hardcore. Yeah. So that's, I think, enough. But I do understand that the personal dilemma comes from, good Lord, do I find these unfunny. Yeah. And that's a different conversation. Because that might be bound to come up. Like, you can say it's about the water waste, which is very much a valid concern. But then you know it's going to shift. You know it's going to be like, but you like the memes, right?

Right, right. And then... Not so much. The answer's not that much. Maybe just lie? No. Yeah. Maybe just white lie?

No. I think you go full throttle. I like your first answer. I hurt someone feeling. If you tell them that you don't find them funny and they get past it and are okay with it in the long run, they're a good friend.

They'll be fun. You know what? I think you're funny. I don't think the memes are funny. Maybe that's the ticket. Even if that's a lie, that's also a good idea. I have a friend who forwards me videos that are very unfunny, and I never respond, and they stopped.

There you go. Yeah, I'm just like, this is not funny, and I can't even respond because I don't have the energy to even tell you that. I love when my mom will send me a video and it's clearly AI. Oh, yeah, I do that. That's a classic. Oh, I love it so much. I remember I was over for Christmas.

And she shows me this video of a cat swatting a bear in their back to yard and it's like, watch this cat save this toddler from this bear in the backyard. Like, mom, this is insane that you think this is real. Lid an AI. She's like, no, it's not. So is. And you know what's funny? She didn't like fight me on it.

It dawned on her instantly. She accepted her fate fully outright. I said, this is AI. She went, that makes sense. Okay, great. Thank you so much. It's also like, when you see a humpback whale jump onto a boat, like obviously you should fucking know that that's not serious. Right. That would have hit news. That would have

broke news of the humpback whale destroyed a boat in the open ocean. I kept sending my friend these pictures of these trains like in Lapland. I just got back from Lapland, Finland because I wanted to see the Northern Lights and they had all the... It was gorgeous. It was absolutely stunning. It was stunning. I've been to Ivolo. I don't know if that's close, but Evallo's up in the Arctic Circle. Oh. I went with my family to hopefully see the Northern Lights, which we did not, but it was still a wonderful trip. Oh, I'm sorry. you didn't get to see them. It's a long way to go. We ate cool food and went like scurrying through the woods with reindeer. It was awesome. Yeah, there's lots of reindeer. I didn't know reindeer were real until I got

to Lapland. They're small too. They're like big dogs. Oh really? I didn't get to see any. They're like very large dogs. Wow. They're like waist height. Yeah, they were with a lot of reindeer farmers and they're on the menu. So I think I actually ate up in a reindeer. Yeah. Well, I mean, when you're, you know, when you're there, you may as well do it. And in Lapland. Yeah. In Lapland. Yeah. In Lapland or in the Arctic Circle. Oh, is throwing it back. 20s, the decade. To the days of huge hits.

And unforgettable items. A non-stop stream of the biggest and best. Drake, Rihanna, Beyonce, Katie Gaga, the weekend. And more. All your decade defining favorites all in one place. Hi, it's Katie Perry. Hey, it's Bruno Mars. This is Kesha.

Find 2010's The Decade on the free IHeart Radio app. Preset the station so it's always one tab away. 2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts, and more, to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry.

We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress. Put yourself through some hardships, and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's T-W-O-Persent on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A win is a win. A win is a win.

I don't care what you're saying. Yep, that's me, Clifford Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing all of that excitement

to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. One week, I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment. And the next we'll talk about life,

mental health, purpose, and even music. The Clifford Show isn't just a podcast. It's a space for honest conversations, stories that don't always get told, and for people who are chasing something bigger. So if you've ever supported me, or you're just chasing down a dream, this is right where you need to be.

Listen to the Clifford show on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tapped Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs?

Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do a little Kim? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at It podcast.

I'm Sam Jett. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick it here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill

waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84 is big to me not just because of crack. I'm down to talk about crack on day, but just so y'all know. I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack. So I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now.

Thank you for finishing that sentence. Yes. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast. or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our first caller today is Emma. She says, my best friend is dating a monster and it's pushing us apart.

We've been as close as siblings since we were kids. Sam, male 37, started dating this woman about two years ago. Funnily enough, my friend group actually introduced them. She's quite a bit younger, 24, so it didn't even occur to us that something serious would come from it. But boy, were we wrong. They moved pretty fast, and within a couple months, she was with him all the time. time. We were a tight-knit group, so all of a sudden the girls and I couldn't do anything without her being pushed on us by Sam. We're a welcoming group, but that was the first red flag. Sam's super

charismatic, but when he'd be his sweet, silly self, she would roll her eyes and tell him to stop because it was embarrassing to her. Cut to a few more months in, and Sam is crying to us drunk about how hateful she is, not just to him, but to the people in his life. The next weekend, it's as if nothing is wrong. The final straw was when she started posting Fante Gay Marriage, incessantly on socials, my best friend in our group is a lesbian. So basically, this resulted in us confronting Sam and saying, how can you actually be with someone who thinks this way and told him she's not welcome in my home.

This has led to Sam hanging out with a solo and he's just not himself anymore. I don't want to lose him, but I don't know how to navigate this phase of our friendship. I know love is blind, but my God, this is hard to watch. Emma. What do you think, Aiton? What do you have to say about this? I do love that so much of the conversation has slipped towards understanding that it is like days were numbered if this continues and like being very well aware to like

prioritize yourself in the situation that you can lead a horse to water and you can't make them drink and like whatever makes them happy makes them happy if that's what they insist on i mean it's very clear that this person doesn't seem super stoked about the situation that they're in but a lot of times jumping out of those can feel very complicated so i think that yeah prioritizing the friends that are being actively affected by the toxicity of it is a gray call. And starting with that of maybe approaching the conversation to Sam with a bit of an immediate accountability, an immediate consequence or an ultimatum of understanding,

like, hey, this is negatively affecting people that we all collectively care about and to not acknowledge is selfish. And it's kind of just bringing up the point of, like, do you want to give up something with so much history, with so many people, with so much love involved for the, sake of one thing that obviously is clearly not benefiting your mental health. Maybe like putting it into a perspective of that, of choosing one over a whole bunch of other great stuff that's already

been in your life is a way to approach the beginning of that conversation. It's going to suck. It's not going to be a fun conversation. What conversations have you had thus far, Emma? About like six months ago, we kind of did give him the come to Jesus talk of being like, hey, this is exactly what you said. Like, this is the stuff that she's saying behind your This is the stuff that she's, because we all, it's kind of like a bunch of mutual friends and all that. So like she's going and saying things hateful about even us to other people that she thinks isn't going to get back to us, but they're like, hey, this girl sucks and she's like tearing y'all down every time that, you know, she can.

And so it basically came to us being like, hey, Sam, she's saying this stuff. It's pretty bad. Like, I don't want her around anymore. And all that did was make her or make him. go to his girlfriend and say, hey, they're saying all this stuff. She says they're lying. And then now we just don't overlap at all. And that's my question is, is this like the way it has to be now?

Just being inauthentic is really hard for me to do. And it's just like, now I just get to see my, you know, once like close to my brother, basically as a friend, like once a month, if that. And he's just texting her the whole time because she's asking what he's doing. So it's like now the friendship is kind of like half watered down. They've been together two years, fam. Like they're about to get married. Oh, that's the thing that's going to happen soon?

Well, I assume. They're not engaged, right? But like, you know, the writing is on the wall. And it's like, do I just keep on living like this and just, you know, everyone's the month get a little bit too liquored up and tell them what his girlfriend sucks? That's what's so frustrating about it is that this whole situation, as far as outcomes goes, completely up to Sam. You know what I mean?

Like, you can, you can lay. out your concerns to Sam and go over, of course, I'm sure you've gone over the details as to what is clearly toxic about the situation, not only about behaviors on his part, but also of the toxicity involved on her part and the way she thinks about the world around her and how negatively that affects people Sam already loves, which is a real shame. But when you're placing the situation that ultimately is going to be his decision no matter how much you lay it out. And If it's not getting through and it's just consistently sucking all the time, then maybe letting that be known to Sam. This is getting to be too much for me or us to actively contribute to on a regular basis.

And so it's not something we can consistently involve ourselves in anymore. And that's going to suck. That's a terrible conversation to have. But maybe it's the wake-up call that Sam needs. And if it doesn't, then that's lame of Sam. And then maybe that's not a person you want to actively have a very consistent friendship with if they're not willing to go up to bat for the people that they love. Yeah, it's also toxic. You're in a toxic situation because she's like talking about you behind your back, you and your group of friends.

She's treating him badly. So like that's all toxicity. And if it's leading to marriage, then like that's a good reason to back away from that relationship. Like I would say, well, that's sad. I just don't think there's room in this current state of affairs that we're all living in for any extra negative energy. Like there's just no reason for it. You have to be around people that love you and that you love and you have to be nice to strangers and everyone. And you know what I mean? Like we're doubling down on kindness and love, in my opinion, to kind of counteract all the darkness that's out there. So you don't have time for this kind of drama. And I would just let him know that in a really loving way. Like I really love you. I care about our friendship. We talked to you about this six months ago.

I don't want to give you an ultimatum. I'm your friend, not your girlfriend. But this relationship doesn't sit well. You know, whether you do it with a group of your friends, I mean, that kind of feels like ganging up, so it's probably better individually. And whether you want to write him an email and lay it out or just talk to him is also a decision that you should make.

But you should come from a really loving place and just be really honest. Like, I'm sorry, it's really hard to watch you with her. And now that I see you guys get, getting more and more serious, I feel like there's a level of toxicity I don't feel comfortable with. So I just want you to know I'm always here for you. But while she's in your life, like, I just don't feel comfortable having the same level of friendship we used to have. Well, and then just also that you're concerned for him. But I like what you said about like maybe each individually or, you know,

a couple of you at a time, checking in with him, talking to him about like, is this really what you want for your life? Because I know that sometimes it takes more than just like once or twice saying something when somebody's hearing something from all different avenues and all these different people who love them, it can really make the difference of like maybe it is time to take a break or leave the situation. I hear you guys 100%. I think that that is good advice. I think that's what really what I was looking for is like, am I doing the most compassionate thing? Because it feels bad to like not be supportive of my best friends, a person that he, you know, is very serious about, but it is just like watching it. It just feels like he's, like he's so special. And

wonderful and it's like it feels like he's just staying with somebody because he doesn't think that he can do any better and he knows that like they'll never leave so it's like boom he's got it in the bag at this point you know he's got companionship no matter if it's like a quality one or not but yeah like the way that things are like currently i can't like i just can't justify i don't know being around because i thought like should i just bite the bullet and like still invite her over sometimes and just be like okay this is if this means i get to see my friend more than like maybe I should be the bigger person. Because sometimes that's worse.

Sometimes though. Right. Because sometimes that's like totally the way to go. But it's just it's just like I tried that for, you know, before we came out and, you know, did the big intervention. I was like, just get over it, you know. But then she would just be mean to just, she'd see a girl walk by and say something mean about her, you know. Sam would leave the room.

Yeah. Say something mean. And I was like, oh, well, I can't. I actually can't do this. So, yeah, I think taking a step back. Right. What's the age gap between them? Like 12 years.

12 years. That's a pretty big one. She's older? I know. She's younger. She's 24. No. She's younger.

So that could also be just a situation of maybe just then being out of, because sometimes that works, right? Like sometimes it's like if people are in very similar places in their lives and level of maturity where it's just like, great. This is as actively working. But maybe it's just a situation where they're just out of sync in the periods of their lives that they are. Like maybe like at 24, she's just still in a phase of just.

kind of being more gossipy. I've been there. Like I've done that. I've been like, okay, great. This is like things you learn over time of what is something maybe you grow out of. But that's not an excuse for her crazy beliefs that are in juxtaposition to the safety and happiness of already established friendships, which is a shame. I also would maybe approach the conversation and maybe a compliment sandwich kind of a way of maybe reminding Sam about the person that you loved and the person you grew up. and traits that you miss and consistencies that you miss and kind of a zest for

life and friendship that you haven't quite seen in a while that maybe he could use a reminder of. Especially she's texting him when he's like out when she's not there, like just constantly about wondering where he is. It doesn't seem like she has the most trusting mindset. She probably is. Young, insecure. Right. Yeah.

To big age gap too, especially at that period of life. Like the age gap says you get older is probably. less of a concern. But when early 20s mixed with early 30s, that's a big chunk. That's a very different people at different points of their lives.

Yeah. So what do you guys recommend? Like if he says, so we got engaged, what is like the good thing to respond there? Do you think? I think initially,

I think it's just congratulations, leave it alone. And then like, don't rain on his parade in his moment. Let him just have that. And then when it

comes around again, when he comes around again or there's plans, I think then you lay it out and be like, listen, I want you to do whatever you want. Obviously, you're the decision maker in your life. But this is where I stand. I've just seen too much and I've heard too many things. Like, you know, you cite examples and I care so much about you, but it's a very toxic situation to me and I'm not interested in being a part of it. Yeah. I think this would all be a very good conversation to have before any engagement happens because after that people feel kind of locked in. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of insane to tolerate somebody who's a potential life partner of yours, tolerating homophobia when a friend of yours is a member of the community. That's

such a crazy thing to look over. That would be a, why isn't that an immediate red flag? That's insane. That's our immediate red flag. Like, what's going to happen, you know, hypothetically, if people like that have kids? Like, what, yeah. Have y'all guys, have y'all talked about that? Like, what if you're, because I've asked him, I'm like, what if y'all's kid is gay? And, And he just went, yeah, I don't know how she'd feel about that. And I'm like, maybe you should ask her. Maybe that should be an immediate like, that should be a non-starter, especially if you have people in your life. I totally agree.

It's plain and simple. It should be a non-starter across the board. But it's kind of lazy. And for lack of a better word and bare minimum of a word, really unfortunate on his part to not stand up for not just his friends, but for a community of people that he has contributed to. supporting it before this. That's lame. If they're not engaged yet, I would just like take it, I would try and do something sooner than later so that they're not engaged before you say this. Not necessarily that you're going to stop it, but just so that you have a clear conscience and like, just spell it out for

him. And, you know, and again, be like, I'm here for you. I just, I really don't want anything to do this person. We've all had exposure to her for a long time now and, you know, whatever, and all the reasons. And that's it. And then let him decide if it's going to have an impact on him. It most likely won't, but that's okay. You're at least standing up for something. Yeah, I hear you guys. I think that's a really good way to go about it. Just kind of drawing that boundary, right?

And just being like, this is what I'm willing to put up with. If you want to live your life putting up with that, then that's on you. But we don't have to do that. Because it is on him. It is his decision, ultimately. But bringing up things. Yeah, just bringing up the kind of person that you miss, I think, is a great way of bringing up. I like that.

I like that. I'm sure he misses those parts of himself too. Yeah. Right. Well, Emma, will you keep us posted? after you guys talk? Yeah, I can definitely do that. Awesome.

Well, thank you so much for calling in. I want updates. Yeah. We'll pass on. I'm going to call back. Nice to meet you, y'all. Nice to meet you, too, Emma. All right.

Well, Mimi says, Dear Chelsea, my two high school best friends and I are all on the cusp of turning 40. We live in different states, and every couple of years we try to get away together. They both turn 40 in October. Money is tight for both of them because of kids and life stuff, but it's such a milestone. I'd love to get another gal's weekend on the schedule. I'm by no means rich, but I do well enough that I have a savings cushion. I've been toying with the idea of gifting them each, a chunk of money, with the intent of going on a fun trip to celebrate their big day. Do you think this is a good idea or could giving money to friends cause issues?

Do I give them money with a caveat of putting it toward travel or just give it as a gift? One of my favorite things about you is how generous you are with your friends and family. Maybe it's because I'm getting older, but sometimes I think what good is a savings account if I don't use it. I'm married but child free, so this is kind of a use it or lose it situation. Life is short and I want to spend quality time with the people I love to celebrate their big moments. Mimi. Hey, Mimi. Hi, Mimi. I love your generosity. That's so sweet and thoughtful.

Yeah. This is a really good, I think it's a good problem to have. It is. It's one of the good problems. I think you should err on the side of giving the gift by the vacation that they want to go on for their 40th. Treat them to that vacation with you. Pay for the hotels. Pay for the, you know, if you can afford to pay for their flights, great. But when you give people cash, it does set a little bit of a different tone in that your relationship, especially when they're not asking for it.

And if they don't spend that money on the trip, that can also cause some resentment from you or like what you're expecting them to pay for. What if they just blow the money one weekend and they go away with their friend? Like, that's not what your intention was. So I think what you can do to celebrate both of their birthdays is to set up a weekend and be like, listen, I know everything's tight. I'm paying for this. I'll pay for your flights. I've got the hotels. We're all set.

All you have to do is show up. Like, that's a great gift. And there's nothing, nothing. There's no loose hanging threads or anything weird happening. Yeah. Yeah, I think putting that as a gift, I think, is a great way to start that. Because it is for their birthday. It's a milestone birthday, like you're saying.

And it's something that's become a bit of a tradition there. I think having the difficult parts of the conversation of, because when people talk about these things, maybe you don't want them to, I'm sure you don't want them to go into the situation, feeling as though like a favor is owed, that they need to return the favor of anything. Being able to air that out before decisions are made, being very upfront. And I think candor's the way to go here, be like, this is my gift to you. I'm excited to do it. Let's put any weird nuances of like, of any weird iffy, am I going to need to pay this for? Is this like, and just getting that on the cable and be like, I understand that these concerns, throw those concerns

out the window, let's have a good time because I would like to do this for you. Is a great way of approaching that. I'm sure that's the way you may feel about it. But I also fully understand that approaching that maybe that might be a bit awkward on their part. But I don't know your dynamic with them or if you have conversations about this frequently. Yeah. I mean, I think it's like we've been friends forever. Like they've seen me at my worst and, you know, it's been 25 years, right? So like, as I thought about this, I was like, I don't want to. to come off as charity. I also know, though, that, like, the spaces they're in right now,

they would, they could do some good with the money, but also spin it on that. But again, like Chelsea, like you're saying, I don't want to have any kind of like resentment if they don't use it in the way I kind of wanted to. So like you're saying, if I just say, hey, I'm going to pay for this for the hotels or whatever it is, you know, I think last year, my mom was diagnosed diagnosed with cancer. I'm not going to have kids. It's kind of like I've worked for where I'm at, today what happens because life is short right like I want to do something with what I've worked for so that's kind of where my head was at was like that's your pitch right there yeah and birthday is a perfect excuse to just be like this is my gift you know this is what we're doing I would love to

give this to you for your birthday it's not just for them it's for you as well yeah yeah yeah it's for it's an experience that you are also going to be having as much as it is a gift to them it's a gift to just the testament of your friendship together. I think that that's lovely. I'm sure to love that. Easy problem. Yeah. Great problem to have.

Easy problem to solve. You're a great friend and thank you for your generosity. And send us pictures of your vacation when you guys go. Thanks so much, Mimi. Bye, bye. Bye. Nice to meet you. Oh, Gaten, you're such a pleasure.

What a treat having you. You're so sweet. I love it. It's good to talk to you again. More in depth. I feel like we got to talk a lot more than we did. We did. So make sure you catch you.

his two new movies, Pizza Movie and Animal Farm. That will be out May 1st in theaters. And Pizza Movie is out on Hulu now. Okay, Gaiton, have the best day today. Thank you so much. Thanks so much, Chelsea. I appreciate it, guys. It's good to see you again. You too, Kitty. Bye. Bye. Bye. If you want advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of IHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flashcadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea Live at Chelseahandler.com. 2%. That's the number of people

who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter. I'm on my podcast, 2%. I break down the signs of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. Put yourself through some hardships and you will come out on the other side. a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's TWA% on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A win is a win.

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