Dear Chelsea - Global Warming Escape Plan with Mike Birbiglia

Episode Date: September 29, 2022

Mike Birbiglia joins Chelsea this week in NYC to talk about paying it forward, the fragility of existence, and the worst years of all of our lives.  Then: A newlywed is chomping at the bit to have kids, and wonders if she should take matters into her own hands.  A girlfriend dreads the thought of giving up her fabulous Carrie Bradshaw apartment when she moves in with her new boyfriend.  And a nasty divorce in the family leaves a soon-to-be bride without a flower girl. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, everybody. While I'm taking the month of September off of doing stand-up, I return on October 1st to complete my Vaccinated and Horny Tour. October, November, and December, I have new dates up. I kick it off in Saratoga, California,

and I'm coming to all parts of California, Long Beach, Bakersfield. I'm coming to Niagara Falls, Tucson, Arizona, Colorado, Minneapolis, San Diego, Reading, Pennsylvania, and Baltimore, Maryland, just to name a few. There's also some Floridian dates in there since this will be my last year that I'm able to go inside the state of Florida. So check out ChelseaHandler.com for more stand-up dates for my Vaccinated and Horny tour. These are my last dates. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea. Hi, my name is Chelsea Joy Handler, and I'm here today to record a podcast in the beautiful city of Nueva York. Can I just tell you, earlier you were approving videos of yourself doing comedy and giggling,

and it was the most joyful thing I've ever seen. Wow. Watching you giggle. To your own videos. No one's in love with themselves as much as I am. When my social media team sends me a bunch of videos, they put them together, but they put all these little affectations on in like words. And it was funny.

And I was, yeah, I like, yeah, yeah. I get a kick out of myself. I love that. Everyone should feel that way, honestly. I know. We should all really start to love ourselves a little bit more. I've always been pretty high on myself. Well, not always.

I sometimes beat myself up. But for the most part, now I'm mature enough to be like, you're a wonderful person. Right. Speaking of being wonderful, I have to, I don't know if you saw my Skims ad. I did. But I was so excited that that's what my body looked like. That I can't even express. And then as soon as that shoot was over, what I did was they asked me to do the Skims Bra campaign.

I was on vacation. I said, listen, I'm going to be on vacation for two months. I'm not willing to fly back unless you make it worth my while. They made it worth my while. Great. I came home. I gave myself a week. I started to just be more careful about the food and the drinking.

And then I get on my timeline where I eat every three to four hours, really small meals, no bullshit, like egg whites, broccoli, avocado, that kind of shit. Anyway, I had one week to get it together. I came home after Martha's Vineyard, and then I really hunkered down with Ben Bruno. We worked out every day. I did my Peloton abs class every morning. And I was an angel about my food, no alcohol, only cannabis. And on the day of the shoot, I was like, listen, I felt really comfortable about my body, but I knew if I had one more week,

I was like, if I could manipulate my body like this in one week, can you imagine what I could do in two or three? And then I was like, oh God. But anyway, the minute that shoot was over, I have been on a food and alcohol tear. I am, I have rebounded and that body is over. I'm like, listen, I proved what I can do and I wash my hands of it now. And now I can feel free to just blow up. And like party and have fun and do all the good things. I really like to be strong and fit and lean, but it's nice to be able to manipulate your body like that and to have kind of like, you know, the definition and all that. Yeah. I see your abs and stuff and like the cellulite diminishes. Everyone says you can't get rid of cellulite. That's not true. I get rid of it all the time and then it comes back and then I can get rid of it.

You just have to be good. It's all about your diet. It doesn't really matter how much you exercise, you know, that doesn't ever fix that problem for me. But yeah, I'm really happy that I did that campaign. I'm so grateful. I'm so happy that, I mean, can you believe I spent so many years making fun of Kim Kardashian and now I'm working for her. Well, you know, you just never know how life is going to turn out, do you? It's a full circle moment. Okay, today's guest, you guys, is a stand-up comedian. He's an actor. He's also a storyteller. He's a director, a producer, and a writer.

He has a new show coming out on Broadway, which is so fucking cool. It's called The Old Man and the Pool. He also stars opposite Tom Hanks in a new movie called A Man Called Otto. Please welcome Mike Birbiglia. Hi, Birbiglia. What a joy. Hi, how are you? What a sweet thing. I'm so glad I'm here. Oh my God, we have so much to discuss. Yeah, a lot to discuss. Catherine, Mike. Holy cow, how are you? Hi. Nice to meet you.

Yeah, you can look at that screen, you can look at that screen, you can just take a mirror out and stare at yourself the whole time. I just, I got out of the shower, I'm just, Jesus, I look like a third grade school boy with this hair. Yeah, you do. Welcome to Mike Birbiglia. He's sitting down and he just got out of the shower. Usually, actually at the first ad break during this podcast, we shower together.

So if you want to do it twice, that's fine. Can I just say, I was listening to one of your bits just now in the waiting room and I was like, one of the things I think you do so well comedically and very few people can pull off is indignant. Like, it's funny when you're indignant. And a lot of people when they're indignant, it's funny when you're indignant. And a lot of people, when they're indignant, it's like, oh, come on. But like, no, no, you're doing this thing about, you know, people taking their feet off the airplane trays.

Don't touch it with your feet. And you're mad about it. And you're like, and don't fuck with the flight attendants. Like, they're working so hard. And it's so true. It is true. A lot of times that kind of comedy can sound kind of like holier than thou. One of your special powers is indignant, but in a way that feels funny and also like not, I don't know. Like, I don't, I feel like, yeah,

that's so true. Well, thank you, Mike. What do you think if you had to name your special power or one of your special powers, what would it be? Don't be I think it's um I think I can I think I think I don't know I think I can tell a story in a way that isn't boring and I can I can understand what's boring about myself in the in real time and go okay I gotta switch gears yeah that's actually that is a special power because so many people talk endlessly and you're like, do you not understand that this is not compelling? It's endless. And you're still talking and there's not really a reaction coming from anybody. Like I've been at a dinner where somebody drones on and is it drone? Drones. Who knows what it is? I'm too tired to make words anymore.

But when people go on and on and there's not really a big reaction from anybody at the dinner table, and you just think to yourself, what is this person doing? Why won't they stop talking? Well, they've clearly been workshopping with the wrong people. Workshopping. Wait. Okay. Speaking of workshopping, I want to talk about one of your special powers.

Because Mike Birbiglia is an incredible person in the sense that you are helping so many young comedians get to the next level. And we have so many people in common between Hannah Einbinder and between Alex Edelman and Atsuko. All of these people we both have worked with or are both friends with, and all three of them just have

the nicest things to say about you. And Atsuko was just telling me, Mike Birbiglia does this thing called the ride back, you know, because after you achieve your own success, which you have certainly done, you have gone around and picked up people that need help from other people. And I know you're producing the show Just For Us, which I just saw last night. We're in New York City today, which is Alex Edelman's show, which closes, I think, tonight's the last night. Yeah. Yeah, and then hopefully it will start up again. Yeah, it'll start up again

and I think it'll end up being a big special eventually. Yeah, and it should be on Broadway. I think so. I mean, this guy's so talented. It's so great. And it's very much about growing up as a Jew.

And he tells this long story about a night he has. And it's just, he's kind of like the new, I would say like a new Woody Allen, you know, without marrying his daughter. Hopefully that won't happen because he's dating Hannah Einbein

and I would like the two of them to stay together. It's a good pair. Because I think their talents are commensurate, right? Like they both have a nice... Oh my God, are you kidding me? The power couple. Yeah, total power couple. Yeah.

So I just wanted to give you kudos for that because I think that you deserve it. Well, you know, that term ride back, it's funny because Atsuko

uses it with me, but I think both of us got it from Hasan Minhaj. Oh, yeah? Who uses that term. Oh. Yeah, yeah. I don't, yeah.

Hassan brought it up and then Atsuko uses it for me. Atsuko's like, it's funny, we met, we're pandemic friends. We met on just Instagram. I love her videos.

Yeah. And then I was just like, who is this person? Like, I'm going to ask her to come on my podcast. She came on Working It Out. We got along really well. And then like,

when I started doing shows again, I was like, hey, do you want to come just like open some shows? And then she came, did Chicago Theater with me and then crushed. And then I was like, and then I love her husband, Ryan. He's like brilliantly talented as well. And then we've just been doing like every show together. And she's just super cool and like wildly talented. Wildly talented, yeah. She's going to be a big star, and she's so sweet and funny. And her story, so she's unique. It's so nice as a comic when you see things that aren't derivative of things we've already seen before. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, I mean, one of the things about comedy, there's a lot of, like, kind of white male complainers in comedy right now are just like, how come everything has to be diverse and blah blah blah and it's like well actually I think a like sort of a better question might be like when you get more diverse stories like Atsuko's story for example is like she came from Japan I think when she was like 11 years old and she tells a story. I don't want to give away the story that she tells on stage because it's so good. But it's like her life story is so fascinating. When you get more diverse stories, it's just better comedy is the truth.

It's genuinely better storytelling, better comedy, I think. Of course. And it's also like, it's a nicer to have a wider breadth of learning about people's experiences than a narrow viewpoint. When everyone's complaining about being too politically correct, or it's like, all you have to do is not be racist or sexist.

Like, that's not a tall order. You don't have to complain about that. You can just be a little bit more clever. Or, by the way, you can be racist or sexist, but then if people say that, they're right. Yeah, right, right, right, exactly. It's actually not illegal to be racist or sexist, but it's just like, you know, people will criticize you. Yeah.

Which has always been the case, except it's exponentialized with social media. So, exponentialized. That's good. I haven't heard that yet. Who helped you when you were coming up? Did you have anybody that was really helpful? So funny. Like a lot of people like Mitch Hedberg was really helpful on starting out. Really? Yeah. There's like a handful of people did like a lot of really nice things for me. Like I opened for Mitch Hedberg in Dayton, Ohio at the

Joker's Comedy Club. I don't think you would have ever played there. Maybe. I don't know if I've played there. But you know what? I don't know where I've been because every time I go somewhere, I'm like, I can't wait to go there. And then I go in and there's a picture of me. And I signed it.

I'm like, oh, shit. I've forgotten more than most people will ever remember. I like that quote. I don't know whose it is. It's not mine, but I continue to use it. Yeah, he did a really, Mitch and his wife Lynn did a really sweet thing, which is like, I had like a self-produced comedy album when I was like 20-something years old called Dog Years. And they came to New York and performed at like the comic strip with me. That's actually, I don't even know if you remember this a zillion years ago.

I met you at the comic strip years ago and Caroline's years yeah I loved years ago yeah yeah and it was actually a really unique instance where I was you were on this ascent and I was just sort of witnessing it happen like you weren't a household name but you were like on your way to it and it was like it was it was fascinating to watch you You were, I mean, you were crushing. It was 20 years ago. You were crushing. But I was like, who is this person who has this wild trajectory?

I'd never been around that before. Really? Yeah, for real. I remember it really well. Thanks. Yeah, I remember Caroline meeting you at Caroline's. The comic strip, yeah, vaguely. Now I remember that.

Is that around anymore, the comic strip? Yeah, Upper East Side, yeah. So where do you perform when you're in town? I'm at the Cellar when I'm in town. Yeah, you're a Cellar person. Yeah, vaguely. Now I remember that. Is that around anymore, the comic strip? Yeah. Upper East Side. Yeah. So where do you perform when you're in town? I'm at the Cellar when I'm in town. Yeah, you're a Cellar person. Yeah. That seems to be the place where everyone is. Well, it's phenomenal. I mean, it's just what it is, isn't it, if people are listening and want to visit New York.

It's like they have like three or four comedy rooms like in a two-block radius. They're really good rooms. They're really well, well booked, well produced shows. And the food is great at the Olive Tree. Yeah. Yeah. The food at a comedy club is typically not awesome.

No. So if you can get that while you're watching comedy, it's a bonus round for sure. So tell me about your life now. Now that you are successful and you have a very steady career. How does that feel? It's good. I mean, like I'm doing this next show, which is

called The Old Man and the Pool on Broadway, which is exciting. Oh my God. I can't wait to see it. That's incredible. So exciting. Yeah. It's at the Beaumont Theater at Lincoln Center. Wow. So it's, so it's really exciting. And when does that start? October 28th. Perfect. October 28th at the Beaumont Theater. Yep. And yeah, to answer your question, it feels good. It's like, I'm sure you experience this to some degree.

On one hand, you're like, oh, I can't believe I'm here. This is so exciting. The audiences are showing up to see my sense of humor. Because when you're starting out, it's like, it's any sense of humor? You get on stage and you're just kind of it's like, it's any sense of humor. You get on stage and you're just kind of like, they either get you or they don't. Right. And now when I tour, as I'm sure when you tour, it's like, no, no, they know what they're paying for.

I've written this show over a few years and they're on board for it. And I don't know, it feels like your friend. With the audience? Yeah. Which I think are the funniest kind of jokes. Uh-huh. It's like when you have an inside joke with your friend. And I feel like over the years I've been able to develop that with my audience where it feels like an inside joke.

Well, I think, though, you'll have a different, not a different in a bad way, experience, though, on Broadway. Because the audience aren't just going to be your fans. It's going to be a word of mouth thing, too, where people, tourists are coming in and they're going to want to see something funny in a comic and they're going to hear about it. You know what I mean? So those are going to be people. It's a great way to actually broaden your audience, right? Yeah. Yeah. Before they die. No, I'm just kidding. Well, yeah, everyone's going to pass away shortly. So we should all be prepared for that. So tell me about the show well that's it's funny well that's the theme of the show is the old man in the pool it's about aging and mortality and

and you know my last show is called the new one which is on netflix now and it's and it was all about having a child despite the fact that i never want to have a child like i was really adamant and the first half of the special is all the reasons I never want to have a child. Second half of the special is about how I had a child and then how I was right and then how I was wrong in certain ways and sort of the emotional arc of that. But now my daughter's seven years old. And so now I've turned. And now she can watch that special and be reminded that her father never wanted to have a baby. But my wife, Jenny, always points out that, like, she'll just never, even though I say it, she'll just never believe it because I'm so doting. Oh, yeah, I bet you are. But, like, she just doesn't.

I don't think she'll compute it. Like, she'll just be like, oh, that's an act. Yeah, right. But, no, I really do. I mean, I never wanted to have a child. What's funny is from that special, I don't know, it came out a couple years ago, but a year after it came out, someone sent me a link to like a Reddit thread that was like a child-free community. Will you forward that to me, please? Oh, my gosh.

Where people are like, we love the first half of the special. And then they were like, we fucking hate. And then you turned on us. Yeah, and I turned on them. I didn't mean to, but I was like, you know, this is what happened. Well, I mean, it would be hard to. I remember talking to one of my friend's husbands. They have three children.

And he was like, I never wanted to have kids. And he goes, and now it's impossible to even think about how I felt about that. Because, you know, once you have them, obviously, I mean, even I would love my kid if I had one, you know, and then you're like, oh, God, because it's you're never going to want that to be taken away from you once you have that experience, because it's probably magical, I would imagine, on multiple levels. It's extraordinary. It's spiritual, right? I mean, the idea that you and your wife could create a person and then you watch them grow and their mind being shaped. I mean, that is a fascinating endeavor. Yeah. The whole first half of that special, I just make fun of people with kids.

And now I am one of those people. It's like, it's embarrassing. You should be embarrassed. I'm not proud of it. That's okay. But that's where I am right now. And then the new show is all about death. I mean, it's all about meditating on death. And my is like if you can make people laugh for 90 minutes about the thing that we're all sort of most scared of or some of us are most scared of, then there can be a catharsis in the audience. There can be a feeling of you walk away feeling better than you walked in. My pet peeve in comedy is when comedy scratches the surface so much that the person doesn't go in deep and then you're left feeling like it's a little bit like junk food, you know, and you're just like, all right, that was fun. You know, it was a good time. Yeah. Yeah. I hear what you're saying. There's no, there's a lack of depth.

Well, it's funny because one of your, one of your specials that you did, where you talk to people about race and privilege and you sort of like make yourself in the line of fire. You basically – I don't even know how to describe it. You basically say like I'm open for criticism kind of thing. Is that how you describe it? Yeah. I like that feeling. Yeah.

And I really respected that because I was like, that's going deep because you're putting yourself out there and just being like, yeah, just take shots. What are your thoughts on this? Well, I also find when you have the opportunity to do a documentary, it's like it can't be a vanity project. You have to dig, right? You can't just be sitting there like promoting yourself because it's so easy to be in this industry and really get lost.

Yes, for sure. I find New York, there's more grounding and more normalcy here. These are real people. Not everybody's in the industry. There's arts. There's museums. There's stuff to interest you. The parks are beautiful.

The piers, you go down to the piers and there's people outside exercising. And I'm just like, L.A. has a dearth of groundedness. People just get so kind of dumb. I certainly feel like I get dumb when I'm in L.A. for too long. Then why did you stick? Why have you stuck with it so many years? Because I just love land and houses. I love land.

I love land and I love droughts. And I can't wait to get started on our next drought. I won't be there for long because California will probably catch on fire, so I'll have to probably relocate to Nova Scotia or somewhere else in Canada. I have my eyes on property where global warming won't affect it. I think about that all the time. Maine, Nova Scotia, North Atlantic. Tennessee, oddly.

There's a few like that. Oh, really? Tennessee. Yeah, yeah. There's a handful like that. Nashville's a pretty cool city. It's just that everyone's down there. I like to be a little bit off the beaten track, but I never quite make it that far.

I go down these rabbit holes about climate change sometimes, and I look at, like, where will the survivors be? Yeah. And Maine is a big one. Yeah. But then Vermont, there's weird things. It's like Vermont's good, except that it's on Lake Champlain, and you can end up with other natural disasters from the lakes. Right, exactly.

But I also think it's important to be by a lake when we all run out of water, right? You're absolutely right. So we have to find some lake community like Wyoming or Montana might be a good idea, but then there's too many guns there. Like, I'm not down with that. We're telling people too much. We're telling people where our escape routes are. Well, one of my brothers, the one that mansplains the most, his name is Glenn Handler. And he was telling me that with Cape Cod, the North Atlantic area,

that global warming is going to affect it in terms of shorter summers and longer winters. Like, it's going to be more the opposite of what will happen on the West Coast. Yeah. And then like I just got an update on Instagram from I have a place in Whistler, Canada, because I love to ski. And they just predicted that this winter is going to be a freeze. Like it's going to be Arctic temperatures. Oh, my gosh. No. I'm like, oh, shit. But so I think everywhere it's going to be affected differently. Like I always thought of global warming is like the sea levels rising, everything gets warmer. But without that Gulf Stream storm cycle that we have, it will stay colder in the Northeast and will get colder and the winters will be more harsh or harsher, I should say. So anyway, that's your global warming update, everybody. If you have any questions about that,

please write into another podcast. So Mike, what we do is we give people advice. Yeah, I know. It's really fun. I'm all about it. All right. So let's do it. And I want to come on your podcast too. we give people advice. Yeah, I know. It's really fun. I'm all about it. All right, so let's do it. And I want to come on your podcast, too. I'd love it, yes, please. Okay, let's do that.

Catherine, what do you have in store for us today? First, we'll take a quick break. We're not taking a shower because Mike just showered. I don't know who gave him that fucking note. We'll take a break and we'll be right back. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really Know Really podcast, I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden.

And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts?

His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all.

Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com.

And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Amazing. Well, Mike, we have an email. We have some callers today.

I hope that these are right up your alley. Mike's a pretty sensitive guy. I think he can probably handle whatever's coming our way. Thank goodness. So our first email comes from Blair. Blair says, Dear Chelsea, my husband and I have been talking about starting to try to have a baby, but he keeps making excuses about why we should wait a few more months. He's interviewing for new jobs and wants to be in a better place financially. We should buy a house first, etc. I've tried to tell him that it's never the quote right time and we're both in our 30s so every month counts and even if we did get pregnant right

away we'd have almost a whole year of pregnancy to figure things out he tells me that i am always just doing things on my timeline without considering him i may have booked some wedding venue walkthroughs before he officially proposed but but I knew he had the ring already. How can I talk to him about starting to try sooner without him feeling like I'm steamrolling? Blair. She said they're in their 30s? Yeah. Okay, well, as a man, I'm going to let you take this first, Mike, because you probably experienced something similar to this. Oh, my gosh. I mean, that's a hard question, right? Like that's a, I mean,

she's really threading the needle of challenging because the wedding venues thing for me is a red flag. Even though he had gotten the ring to propose to her? Yeah, I don't know. It's annoying to know that you did that, like for your husband. That would be annoying, I think, to anybody. But helpful for us. Yeah. So then having gone through it and had some challenges in pregnancy, like as much as whatever people get mad if I say it, it actually does matter how many months. You know, like in your 30s, like there does reach a point where. Right. Where the fertility is an issue. Yeah. It actually is an issue.

So she has a point on that front. But I also think she might want to have a frank conversation with him about whether that's what he wants to do. Because I also think it's a little bit of a fickle thing to be like, let's wait a few more months. It's like, well, or ever. You know what I mean? Like, is that the question? Like, is the question, is it a few more months? Or is it, do you want to do this?

Well, when you, because since you never thought you wanted to have a kid, what happened with your relationship? How did it come about that you decided to have one? I mean, ultimately, like, and this is paraphrasing a 90-minute-long special in a book where I really go into the sort of minutiae of it. But, like, ultimately, Jen really wanted to have a child, and she never thought she wanted to have a child. She said, I think you'd be a good dad, and this is something I want to do. And ultimately I was like, well, I'm not going to hold you back from that. And that's why I did it because I was like, I think it's hard to hold someone. And maybe this is boring.

I just said I was going to attempt to not be boring. But it's like, I think that if you're in a relationship where you know you're capable of doing a thing that your person who you are in love with and they really want to do and you sort of want to do it or you're okay with it, you should try to do it. Yeah, and I would also say he is not saying he doesn't want to have a kid. He's just saying he needs some time to warm up to it. I would say with your track record of what you did with the booking and looking at wedding locations, that you've kind of stabbed yourself in the foot there

because that's annoying. That was annoying and that was overstepping. And when girls do that with my guy friends, they're always pissed and they're always annoyed and it takes them a long time to get over it. But you're married now. He's not saying he doesn't want to have a child, but there is the age factor. So all you have to do is say, listen, I don't want to bother you about this. I don't want to be up your butt. I know that I need you to warm up to it, but there is an age factor here. So depending on where you are in your thirties, you know, if he's not ready to have one now, and maybe you want to freeze your eggs, if that's an option, if that's something that's like too expensive or you don't want to go down

that road, then just say like, I need a timeframe where we can revisit this. Can we revisit it in three months or six months? Or, you know, definitely don't get pregnant behind his back, tricking him. Don't do that, please, because that is not going to be good for your marriage. Not cute. That's a better answer. So I defer to that answer, actually. You can't do that on this podcast. No, you give your advice.

I know, but at the very least, I can show that I've growth. He's growing during the podcast. This is unbelievable. Catherine, what do you have to say on the topic? I mean, I'm somebody who's sort of in the throes of this right now where I'm like, I'm 37. It's sort of like, do we or don't we? And I mean, we're in this position where it's, if it happens, it happens. But it is tough.

We got married. I was very young. I was a baby at 23 when we got married. He was 29. And he really wanted to have kids and I never wanted to have kids. And over the years, it's sort of shifted where I'm like, yeah, I could see that being a relationship I want to have in the future with a child. And now he's sort of, but everything's going so well. Like, why would we want to change that and have a baby? So I don't know. We're sort of in some murky waters together, but it's also kind of nice to both be in a murky spot together. Yeah. Then you're both on the same page with each other. Nobody's pressuring or forcing the other person. And that just is never a good approach. Yeah. So that's your advice. Be murky. So suck on that. All right. Well, Blair, let us know if and when he decides he wants to get pregnant, I guess. Also, make him watch the new one because what's the new one? That's my special. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I

was like, wait, what are we talking? I'm sorry, Mike. Of course. Endlessly confusing title. So our next submission is from a caller. Rachel says, Dear Chelsea, I'm the youngest sibling out of three, and I seem to be the only one who gets along with everyone, which has made me kind of the glue for the whole family. One of my sisters is going through a divorce, and unfortunately, it's not been a very amicable one. It seems that her soon-to-be ex-husband

is being as petty, hurtful, and reactive as possible. They have two children, ages five and two, and those kids are everything to me. My brother-in-law and I have been in each other's lives for 13 years now. She's 27, so that's a lot of her life. And he was always the brother I never had. When he and my sister started having issues, he would always turn to me for advice. He'd call me almost daily for months, and I'd always pick up, even though it was causing me tremendous emotional stress being dragged into the middle of their problems. Unfortunately, when things took a legal turn, I basically had to step back and let the court take action. It's been about five months now, and my brother-in-law and I have not spoken. Now here's the messy part. I'm getting married in December of this year. Before my sister and

her husband's issues got serious, I asked my niece and nephew to be my flower girl and ring bearer in my wedding, which of course they excitedly accepted. I can't imagine my wedding day without them there. Just one big problem. My brother-in-law has custody of the kids the week of my wedding, and I have a very strong feeling he will not let them come to the wedding. I've already reached out to him by sending him a heartfelt email, but he has not replied. I sent that email two months ago. If my sister were to ask him to trade weeks, he would immediately do the opposite of what she asks just to hurt her. I don't know what to do from here on out and was just hoping that you have any advice on how to

get through to a very stubborn person who's hurting and in a lost place. Rachel. Oh, that is such a bummer. Hi, Rachel. Hi, how are you? Hi, this is Mike. He's our guest today, Birbiglia. And you know, Catherine, because you've probably touched base with her. Yes. Hi, Rachel. And you know, Catherine, because you've probably touched base with her. Yes. Hi, Rachel. Oh God, Rachel. That is such a bad position to be in. I'm so sorry. Yeah, it sucks. It's all right. I've kind of accepted it as it is because now it's been about three months since he's replied and talking with my sister, like he hasn't chilled out at all. So he's like legally bound to reply to her because of the kids, obviously. But yeah, I don't expect a reply. I haven't reached out again. He has full custody of the kids. No, it's split 50 50. Oh, so he just has them during

the time that you're getting married. Yep. And she's offered to trade. And so that would mean he would get Thanksgiving this year, Christmas this year and Christmas next year. Wow. Wow. And did he respond to that? No. Huh? He's just doing it to like be ugly.

Yeah. But like my niece is really excited for the wedding. And I mean, we have to start buying stuff like her little flower girl dress and everything. So we kind of need to know. Oh God. What a pit. What is a devastating conundrum. I know. This is awful. My instinct is like, okay, can the niece ask the father,

daddy, I want to go to the wedding. I was thinking the same thing. But I don't know how you want to involve young children like that. Right. And she doesn't know yet about the whole situation. She just knows she's going. She knows she's going. Yeah. We haven't told her basically that her dad has said she can't go. And she's five. She's five. Okay. Well, I would say when you see her next, you'll see her next, right? Before the wedding, obviously, to talk to her about it and about the excitement of a flower girl being a flower girl so that she can bring that information back to her dad with her.

And I hear what you're saying about it backfiring, but it's much harder to say no to your kid than it is to say no to your ex-wife. Yeah, that's true. Also, is the wedding close to where you live or no? It's about three hours, Houston and Austin. I mean, there is something to be said for bargaining with something longer

versus shorter. Like we'll get her for the day or we'll get the kids for the day and then trade a week for it or something like that. Yeah. She's offered any of the year and he hasn't responded to that. So sorry. Yeah. I think you can just keep pressing it. You know what I mean? I don't think you should give up. I think you should talk to your niece, I think you can just keep pressing it. You know what I mean? I don't think you should give up. I think you should talk to your niece, and I think you should send him another email. Don't make it long. Just make it short, succinct, and just say, this is one of the most important days of my life. I understand what a difficult time you're going through.

I understand the tensions are high, but can you please just think of me on this occasion and think of your daughter and the experience that we could share together and make it short and sweet and, you know, just throw it out there one more time. And also tell your niece so that she can go home with that information and talk to her dad about it. Yeah. But I don't think when you're talking to your niece, that's so tricky because like you don't want her to go back and say, I'm going to the wedding because then he feels like he's been stripped of his decision- making power, which is clearly what he's holding on to. Right. I'm also imagining like this angry Texan man. Yeah. Like I'm just picturing I'm wearing a cowboy hat. He's not your typical Texas man. He's not your typical Texas man. No, he's not. OK. How would you describe him? He's a very prideful person,

played basketball in college, and he was raised by a single mother. And so he's very independent. So yeah, it just sucks because he's so angry with my sister because she was ready to finally get a divorce. But he's really only hurting me and my niece. And she and I thought we're very close. And so that hurts as well. I mean, I lost one of my closest friends, but I can accept that, but it sucks for my sister, but also it's my wedding and my niece's experience. Yeah. And I just think in your next email, you should definitely just say it again. Like this is from love. Please don't take this experience away from us based on what happened between you and my sister. This is about you. What's your niece's name? Marley. Marley. Marley and I want to share this. I want her to remember my wedding day. I

want her to be a part of this. This is like a historical family moment. And I know things suck and you're upset, but I didn't do this. And Marley certainly didn't do anything. Right. That's true. You need to say that. Should I email him or should I actually text him or give him a call? Yeah. Whatever you think you're most comfortable with. I would give him a call if you think he might answer your call. I mean, I always think it's better.

Writing, I just find to be a little bit more, people have more reflection. I think that's right. When you can read something a few times and then you see the points that somebody's making, it kind of lands a little bit more heavily. And so I would send the email. And then if you don't hear back from him again, then you can text him or call him. But yeah, don't give up. You have nothing to lose.

Right. That's true. I've already accepted not having her. So I just got to keep trying, I guess, because you can't be disappointed anymore. Yeah. Remember to impress that this is a family moment. can't be disappointed anymore. Yeah. Remember to impress that this is a family moment. This is your niece. That's never going to change. And why should she miss your wedding? Why should she be punished because of anything? We're willing to

make compromises here. We're willing to give you them on Christmas. Right now, he knows he's in the power seat. So he's probably because why wouldn't he want them for both Christmases and Thanksgiving if he's feeling like that? So I bet you he's probably thinking about wouldn't he want them for both Christmases and Thanksgiving if he's feeling like that? So I bet you he's probably thinking about it and just holding his power and doesn't want to give it away until the very last minute if he's so angry and prideful. Yeah, that's exactly what my sister said, because she was saying if he were to say no, she thinks he would just say it right then and there. OK, so don't give up hope. Just keep trying.

Yeah. She and I talked a little bit about this, and I had asked if he has other family. And Rachel, you said he's close with his mom as well, right? Yeah. So that might be another angle to, you know, if you don't hear back from a call, you don't hear back from an email to go talk to his mom and implore her like, we really want this. We love him. We love her, the kids. I can see from her face that that might not be the best option.

His mom's like a character. Like, that's scary. Yeah, but you know what? She's a mother. Yeah, and a grandma. Yeah, and a grandmother. And there's a way into everybody. I mean, some people there's no way in.

But, you know, you just have to work under the assumption. If this is something that's so important to you, which obviously it is, you just kind of have to try every avenue. Yeah. The extreme, this is the comedic non-don't-do-this version, would be, I hate my sister too, but listen. But listen, I want what's best for the kids. I know my sister sucks, but. Yeah, that would be a good avenue too, probably. But no, really, you have an awesome sister

if she's willing to give up two Christmases in a row to like make sure her kids can come to your wedding. Oh my gosh. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. For sure. Yeah.

Listen, you're going to have an incredible day no matter what. And if it works out, which hopefully it will, that will be great. It's going to be great regardless of whether they're there or not. It's not the end of the world. It's just a bummer. And so, you know, I don't want you to like spend your day thinking about who's not there. Spend your day thinking about who's there. It's like when you're performing stand up and people are pissed if it's not sold out. It's like focus on the people that are sitting there and bought tickets, not on the 50 seats that are empty. For sure. And if for some reason it really doesn't work out and he really refuses, like schedule a little photo shoot and have her put on her dress and you put on your dress and you guys can dance around the living room or take pictures in the garden, but like do something special. Oh, that's a cute idea.

I like that too. So many options. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you guys. Let us know what happens. Okay. Rachel. I will for sure. I'm going to reach out to him probably today. Okay. Good. Good. And congratulations on your wedding. Thank you. Thank you so much. It was good talking to you guys. Oh, bye. Bye. See how serious this shit is. Oh, that was so hard. It was good talking to you guys. Bye. See how serious this shit is? Oh, that was so hard. It was supposed to be a fun podcast. That was so challenging. I know. I know. This is

how it is all the time. People think I'm a doctor. I know. But you both have good solutions. I mean, I don't have much for these folks. No, you have a male perspective. That's important. We're talking about men in both of these situations, right? So it's good to have a male perspective, especially a straight male, because I don't have a lot of straight males on this podcast for obvious reasons.

And you're somebody that is not like that. So it's nice to have a nice male opinion to be implemented or incorporated into this. Yeah imagining, though, the guy. When you're so angry, it's like, buddy, let it go. Why are you holding on to anger? It's like cancer causing. Yeah, it's terrible. Have you ever been angry like that? Yeah.

My dad, growing up, always had an anger streak. And I feel like it boils in me. But because I grew up with a dad who is angry, I keep it inside. Yeah. So I'm not explosive. I sort of never shout. Yeah, I can't imagine you yelling at anybody. Yeah. Definitely, it's a real emotion.

It comes through me. Do you get angry? I used to get, yeah, I get angry. I get pissed because I have a temper, but I know how to regulate it, and I don't act on it most of the time. I used to get, yeah, I get angry. I get pissed because I have a temper, but I know how to regulate it and I don't act on it most of the time. I used to. What's your trick for regulating it? I just know now, like I've been to therapy, like I went for intensive therapy for like two years. I had someone, I'm like, fix me. Why am I yelling at people? And like, I would fly off the handle at someone, a stranger, if they did something. And now I'm just like, no, it doesn't matter. Like, just be cool. It's just better to have, my trick is just, if I'm being reactive, if I feel that, I don't, I walk away. Like I literally just go in another room, walk down

the street. I'm like, you're never acting like that again. You've done too much work on yourself to reduce yourself. And I always just feel like you're kind of negating all of the positivity that you put out in the world when you act like an asshole. Yeah. So I just remind myself of that. That's really good. Years ago, I had a joke about my dad where he would get so angry and he wasn't even sure why he'd be like, God damn it. I'm eating pretzels. You know, we're like, is he angry? Is he hungry? What is the emotion being expressed? But that was, that was, that was always my, yeah. And the other one And the other joke I had which is true from childhood is,

where's the goddamn portable phone? And my mom's role in the family was to just find the portable phone. And I always feared that one day, I forget what the end of the joke is. But gosh, it was so years so many years ago you know how sometimes you have jokes are like 20 years old and you're like I remember exactly but my dad honestly like he'd be like goddamn what I'm eating pretzels goddamn

what where's the portable phone and I always grew up around that and I was like I'm not gonna do that but I do feel the emotion he feels like like the rage sometimes. Yeah, yeah. How come this thing is so wrong? Yeah. I mean, also, my dad had a really bad temper. And to punish him, my mom would hide the remote control. That was his punishment because she was passive aggressive. And she couldn't go head to head with him in the arguing department. Yeah. So she would just rearrange furniture, move things around. So he would be more confused about where things, and that was her way. And then she'd go upstairs to her bedroom and like go to sleep at six o'clock, which is also a trait I picked up from my mother. I love to be in bed.

I love it at early hours when it's light out and I get into bed and I have like a nice sandwich on my nightstand and like three hours of television ahead of me. I cannot be happier. That's nice. I know. That's what single people can do. Well, I did want to say, Mike, thanks to the miracle of the internet. I do remember how you finished that joke because I listened to it yesterday. That's ridiculous. It was that they eventually invented portable phones that had like a pager and they would beep. And so your parents, you know, could get a divorce because there was no role for your mom anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's so funny. Yeah. Good job, Catherine. Wow. I mean, thanks to the internet. Yeah. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden.

And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth.

Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir.

Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com.

And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, what do we have next, Catherine? Okay, so this is from Emma.

Emma's here with us as well. It's a little bit lighter. She says, Dear Chelsea, My name is Emma. I'm 29 years old. I live in Toronto, Ontario, and I'm too happy. The past few years were some of the worst years of my life. As a social work manager at a health care facility for seniors,

I had to watch my clients drowning in the pandemic. I was stuck in a relationship with a serial cheater, was staring at $15,000 of credit card debt and completely neglecting my physical health. Cut to today. My debt has paid off. I'm living in my dream apartment. Think Carrie and Sex and the City, driving my dream car. I've picked up a second job with a promotion on the way. I'm healthier than ever with an amazing group of friends, and I'm in love with the most wonderful, handsome, kind man. So what's your fucking problem? Right? Oh, wait for it. There have been countless times in the past several months where I am bursting with gratitude on the verge of tears. I'm on cloud nine.

I had previously dated garbage men and not the city employee kind. This man encourages me, supports me, makes me laugh, but acknowledges I'm funnier, loves my friends. My mom says he looks like a guy from a Hallmark Christmas movie. He's normal in the best ways, and I want to spend my life with him. Recently, however, we've started talking about moving in together later this year. For some reason, the last time we spoke about this, I had a pit in my stomach. What if I didn't enjoy my single time enough? What about my cute solo carry apartment? Is there Hi. Hi. Hi. manifestation of all this good doesn't go to waste. How do I make myself open and unafraid to the love I deserve? Emma. Hi. Hi. Hi. This is Mike Birbiglia. He's our special guest today.

And that's Catherine. Hi. Happy going. Love it. How are you doing? Good. I'm great. I'm just on a bit of a break from work. So I popped home. Yeah. What do you do? I'm a social worker. Oh, good for you. That's nice. Mike had a lot. He thought there was a lot to unpack. So I'm a social worker. Oh, good for you. That's nice. Mike had a lot. He thought there was a lot to unpack, so I'm going to let him take the lead. Because it's a two-part in a certain way. Like she was saying that the last two and a half years were such hell. Yeah. I feel like this is always worth pointing out.

The last two and a half years have been complete and total hell for like everybody. Yeah. Awful. And like we should never stop talking about that. You know what I mean? like it's so fucking bad and I feel like sometimes we're all playing it cool like oh yeah okay we're doing our best we're living our best life it's like no no it's a fucking horrible unprecedented once in a hundred years situation it's like war times right so that's so that's part one i feel like i just want to hang a lantern on that then the second thing is having to do with like are you if you're afraid of moving in with

someone i would just say just don't move in just wait i would wait i just wait on that because it's like what's the rush i mean i don't get the unless there's a rush thing that i don't know about emma are you do you feel comfortable waiting to move in or is that something you, why is there a rush? I mean, ideally, ideally I agree with you. I think two years sounds nice to me. I think, you know, you never get that time when you're dating back. Like it's such a nice time, especially if you really are enjoying each other's company.

I mean, like I agree. What's the rush? I wish that finances weren't what they are. And I wish that rent wasn't what it is. And I wish that that wasn't such a huge factor because if we're looking, you know, if we really want to spend our life together and we're looking to build for the future, saving like 10, 15 grand in one year, it makes logical sense so that it can pay off later on. I mean, he's with me six nights a week.

You know, I can have those conversations with him where we can look for that time where we can spend separately so we can preserve some of the mystery. I would agree. I would love to wait a little bit longer, but there's, you know, there's other factors, I guess. No, it's definitely a financial, like the housing market's insane right now. I know, but that's $15,000 or $10,000. Like I understand you're a social worker and that you're working within your salary, but I really don't think you should make decisions based on finances if you can. I agree. You know, like that's not the right reason to move in with someone. I want to say from your entire, first of all, I want to double piggyback on what Mike said about the last two and a half years, because I don't think

half the people even understand what kind of post-traumatic stress they're going to have in five years from what we just all went through. Like some people feel it and felt it throughout the pandemic and some people aren't going to feel anything for two years and it's like delayed grief, you know? The other thing is, listening to your letter, you need to reread your letter. Yes, agreed, agreed. Similar point. That is a saboteur's mindset. You just said it out loud what's going on. Everything's fine. Everything's working out.

You're spending six nights a week with somebody. You obviously are into them. You're obviously feeling very strong feelings. Everything in your life is going great. Enjoy this moment that you're in without worrying about fucking it up. Make a plan with your boyfriend of when you are going to move in together

or when you're going to talk more seriously about moving in together. And even if it's only like three months before, I don't know, what's your lease situation right now? Do you have a year lease or something? Yeah, like it's stable. Everything's stable. And I mean, realistically, I entered into this lease on my own. I got this on my own.

I built up the money to get this. So like my trajectory at that time was to be paying for this on my own. So introducing someone into that is like a bonus. But you're right. It's not something that I was counting on ever. I was also concerned about the way you described your boyfriend as being like a hallmark card. I was like, I don't know. I don't love that.

I don't like hallmark cards. Well, nobody does. But I mean, that doesn't mean, you know, that's not the I don't think that's the crux of the letter and of what you're saying, right? Like, I think if you introduce, have you guys spoken about living together yet? Yeah, we, like, that's kind of the best part. Like, there's nothing that I can't comfortably share with him. I was excited to talk about this.

That's great. Any deep, dark, you know, things deep down, I can air out with him and he can, you know, meet me there and not take anything personally. The Hallmark part is just like, he's built for mass appeal. Like he is just. Hallmark Christmas movie. Mike's just jealous. He wants to be described as a Hallmark card. So it's wonderful. Yeah. And how long have you guys been together now? Just kind of a year. Yeah. I think you should have a conversation and just say, listen, we're all, we're both moving in the same direction. I want to be with you probably, you know, for interminably and I, and let's, let's revisit this subject in six months because I'm so enjoying this

dating and also having our own, you know, smaller amounts of personal space, which are so important. And let's just revisit this in six months. There's no pressure to do anything. And I think you're very, like, you have a lot of self-awareness and just sit in that positivity and understanding that you're lucky and being, waking up and having gratitude every single day is like really the key to having a healthy, happy life. Because obviously things are going to go wrong at certain points in your life, but it's important to remember what things are going right. And it sounds like so many things are happening for you. Yeah. There's this really funny phenomenon where in times of sadness or

anger, the idea that this too shall pass is so comforting. But then, you know, on the flip side, when you get this happiness and you work this hard and you get whatever it is that you were hoping to achieve, it somehow takes as a personal loss or personal failing if that happiness becomes just as fluctuating. So I think gratitude is a really excellent way to kind of combat that and just be happy for when it is here. And it's expected to go because we can't have the ups without the downs too. So I'm working towards being in that state of being afraid that this house of cards is just going to collapse on me just to be, yeah, just to be happy and to live in the present moment with it. Cool. Yeah. I think you're fine, Emma. I think you're going to be just fine.

Not really worried about you. Okay. That's comforting. Thank you. Mike, are you worried about her? No, she seems good. And I think your advice is good. And I think she, the gratitude is smart. Also, you know, it was a good tip for gratitude. Gratitude journal. Yeah. Write down every few days what you're grateful for. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

There's something about journaling. One of my, my therapist told me something once. Journaling has proven scientific data that you are like releasing emotion, right? Whether it's good or bad, writing down your thoughts is just a great way of reflecting. And so many people don't have time to even reflect. You know, you're running around like a chicken with your head cut off half the time. I know I am. And, you know, when I sit down, like this week, I haven't meditated once because I've been in New York. I'm like, well, and I was about to say, well, I don't really have time. And then I was like, of course you have time. You can do it when you go to bed. I'm like, well, by then I'm shit face. So I can't really meditate when I'm like coming home after, you know, at two in the morning here in New York, I've come to New York and act like a rock star. I don't know what I'm- It's a fun city right now. It's so, it's- It's popping right now.

Yeah, it's revitalized in a major way. But I, but on journaling front, I, in my new show, I have a line where I say, every night I like to write down, or every few nights is the truth, every few nights I like to write down what I'm saddest about or angriest about. Because I find that if you write that down, you can see your own life as a story. And when you see your own life as a story, you can zoom out and encourage the main character to make better decisions. Wow. Love that, Mike. It's cool, right?

Wow. Dropping the bike. Yeah. I love that. That's great. That's really, right? Wow. Dropping the bike. Yeah. I love that. That's great. That's really good advice. I love your secret public journals. Oh, thanks.

Thanks so much. I really enjoy that. And that's good advice. It is. My partner, he's really into journaling. We read his together. So maybe I'll take a page out of his book. Cool.

Cool. Thank you, Emma, for calling in. And yeah, yeah, just take your time and you're going to have everything's going to be great. Thank you so much, you guys. I really appreciate this. Sure. Thanks, Emma. Bye, Emma. Bye-bye.

I love our callers. I know, they're great. I know, so earnest. I love that. Yeah. Well, we'll take a quick break and we'll come back to wrap up with Mike and Chelsea. Oh, what a positive. What a positive podcast. Good vibes. Good vibes. Good vibrations. We'll be right back. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the

floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts?

His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all.

Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. And we're back.

Well, Mike, this is the point in our show where we wanted to see if you would like some advice from Chelsea. Yes, Mike. Do you have any advice that you would like to ask me about? I have multiple. I have multiple things I'm just trying to narrow down. When do you think a friendship is over? I'm being abstract, but I've had a couple things over the years where I've been like, oh, okay, I think this friendship just might be over. Yeah, I think if you think that,

that's probably it. That's it. You know, like that's also, you know, something for you to journal about probably. I used to think friendships ending were a sign of my inability to behave. And now I understand that friendships ending are just a part of life. There are people that come in and out for specific periods of time for you to either influence them or for them to influence you or be a comfort or be an inspiration or however the dynamic plays out. And that doesn't mean it has to be forever because really nothing is forever. Everything is short-lived or, you know, like nothing lasts forever. And it's okay to have a healthier outlook about the ending of a friendship. It's not that bad. And it doesn't

have to be an explosive thing. It just has to be like, listen, we're in different places and, you know, we're taking a break. If you even have to address it, I mean, is it something you have to address to another person or just to yourself? You probably like run into the person like a couple of times a year. Yeah. Then that's friendship is what it is anyway. It's not close or right. So yeah, I think it's just, it's nice to think about it in a way that it's not necessary of a reflection of either person. You're just not on the same page exactly anymore. Yeah. And then that is an opening also for different people to come into your life. Like there's nothing I love more than constantly meeting new people and making new friends.

That actually, it's funny you should say that. It was when it started to happen is when I became friends with Atsuko and Ryan. Oh, really? Yeah. I always think that happens. There's a universal balance that happens professionally, personally, health-wise.

When anything, you know, seesaws in one way, there's always something else that levels everything out. And I find that to be true all the time. And I'd like to pay attention to that stuff now. Smart. Thank you so much. Oh, Mike, you're so welcome. You're awesome. I'm so grateful that you came today. I'm so happy to see you. I haven't seen you in forever. It's been probably 20 years and I've just been admiring you from afar for all these years. I'm honored to be on the podcast and I can't wait to have you on Working It Out. Yeah, we'll definitely do that. Thank you. Catherine, would you like to

say goodbye to our guest? Bye, Mike. I'm waving. I'm waving. I'm looking for the camera to wave properly. I've been following you since you were jumping out of windows. Oh my gosh. Yes. Oh, wow. So special. Means so much. Thank you so much. I'm so glad we made it work. So special. That means so much. Thank you so much. I'm so glad we made it work. And goodbye. And goodbye. And goodbye. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at dearchelseepodcast at gmail.com.

We have a special call for submissions this week. If you've done any sort of genetic testing and maybe made a discovery about a new family member or found out that your uncle maybe has a secret family somewhere, or you found some health markers related to your DNA that have led you to take certain steps and investigate further, and especially if you'd like advice about what you found out in your DNA analysis, please write in to DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartRadio, executive produced by Nick Stumpf, produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like... We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.