Dear Chelsea - Going to Bed Early with Diane Kruger

Episode Date: November 3, 2022

This week, Diane Kruger joins Chelsea to talk about going to bed too early, relocating to Paris, and how motherhood has changed her.  Then: A couple wrestles with wanting more than just their small patch of land in Oregon.  An overworked mom can’t get rid of her guilt around self-care.  And a stepmom is ready to give her stepkids the boot.  Tap here to buy Diane’s new book, A Name From The Sky.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What is happening? Hello. Hi, Chelsea. Hi. How are you doing? You're fresh as a daisy today, actually. I know, I know. I feel so fresh.

Good. Showering is so annoying. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just so sick of it. I know it's necessary, and of course I do it, but I don't like it. And I don't like blowing out my hair. I don't like the act of showering. It's like you kind of get uncomfortable while you're getting in and you're getting out, but you have to, like, do it so you can go be warm and also clean. I know.

I mean, I'm just basically washing my Pikachu, my butt, and my, like, underarms. And it doesn't really take that long, but it's just annoying. No one takes quicker showers than I do. I do not give a fuck about that. You're, like, taking a 30-second army shower. Tiffany Haddish, I once did a show of hers, and she was like, why don't white girls wash their legs? And I was like, I don't know, but I don't. No.

I don't wash my legs. And she's like, why? She's like, you have to wash everything. I go, I don't. I just feel like the soap goes down from my shampoo and my hair. Everything falls down. So if I've been out in public and used a public restroom, I will wash the back of my thighs. However.

Yeah, I guess so. I wash my butt. You're not getting dirty, your legs. I wash my butt cheeks and my butthole because I, my butt cheeks, cause I don't want to get any pimples on my butt. You know what I mean? And that's disgusting. I mean, it's not disgusting. It happens, but it is. It's not pleasant. I don't like when I look at my butt in the mirror and there's like a little red dot. I'm like, oh, God, what is that? See, I try to use the natural deodorant. I'm wearing the real stuff today, but I'm trying to not get Alzheimer's. But like I find that my pits are stinky the second I get out of the shower.

I'm like, why did I even bother? They're just always stinky. Oh, are they? Yeah. I find that I only get BO. Well, no, my BO has definitely gotten worse as I've aged, but it's still not that bad. But I definitely get it when I drink coffee. I start sweating immediately when I drink coffee.

So I just feel like it's too much of a stimulant for me. You're just all amped up. Yeah, I am amped up. I'm pretty, yeah, I have a lot to be amped up about, namely Ozempic. Ozempic, for those of you who have been living under a rock, everyone is on Ozempic. All the celebs are real skinny. Everyone is on this weight loss drug. I was taking semaglutide, and I had no idea that is Ozempic.

And I was wondering why I was nauseated for two weeks straight. But I've been giving a lot of people. I've been giving it to a lot of people. I'm like running a whole thing out of my house. Running a racket. People are, it's like a miracle. I mean, people are sick, but they're losing weight. But it's like, it's a diabetes drug, right?

Yeah, and the side effect is it kills your appetite. But the thing is, it's just so unpleasant to be nauseous. I guess you have to find the sweet spot that doesn't make you nauseous and then slowly build it up over time incrementally. But I can't pretend that I have enough weight to lose to be on some sort of weight loss drug. So I mean, I'm just abusing my body if I take that. I mean, you're like ripped. You've got your Ben Bruno, like you got your muscles. I know. But imagine if this Ozempic just makes me muscular, like if it's a fat burning, I have to look up and see if it actually burns fat or if it just

kills your appetite. Because it does make you feel full faster. Like I definitely, when I took it, I had more control over myself. And then I lowered my dosage because I want to have an appetite. I just don't want to go nuts, you know? And then my cousin's on it, but she's taking such a small, small amount that she doesn't even feel the effects of it. And so she's like, my doctor's an endocrinologist. He wants me to be very safe, and we have to go very slowly. And I was like, come over to my house, and I'll give you the proper dosage. So for everyone out there, talk to your doctor. Or come to my place, and I'll inject you with semaglutide.

Excellent. I have an update, Chelsea, from one of our callers. Oh, wait. Does everybody know that Ben Bruno, my trainer, has gotten engaged? Oh, yes. I saw that. He got engaged to his girlfriend, Nicole, who's called No Bread. So anybody who's gluten-free or has celiac disease or any of that, you should follow her because she has a lot of great tips on how to eat without ever having

anything bad. Yes. And recipes and stuff. She's a cutie. And she also has the flattest stomach I think I've ever seen on any woman. I guess that's what happens when you don't have gluten that bloats you, right? Yeah. Because even when my body's banging, I don't have that. I mean, I feel like everybody these days, and it feels like all the celebs, Kim Kardashian, all those people, sorry, I mentioned her name, but everyone's ribs forward. Like everything is about the ribs and everyone's got these very flat stomachs right now. Have you noticed this trend? Well, it's ozempic, asshole. I told you. It's ozempic. Totally is. That's the trend. I think that's what it is. Chelsea, I have an update from a caller. This is from A, who wrote in on our Dan Savage episode about she and her husband

had just gotten married and they were like not having sex hardly at all. Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember. So she says, hi again. My initial letter probably lacked a lot of key details. At the time, my husband and I weren't living together and we were working completely different schedules. He's a bartender and I work nine to five. Not living together. Yeah, that is a big. That'll kill your sex life. So we really never saw each other to have sex. When we did see each other for the one night a week we could, there was a lot of pressure on us to have sex, and pressure isn't really that sexy, which like, I hear that. He was also going through a tough depression. I did take Chelsea and Dan's advice in just letting go of things and letting things happen more naturally. It was harder than I thought it would be. I had

to sit with the idea that his attraction to me isn't only based on looks, but also on his mood and the larger context. That seems obvious, but in order to truly let things go and happen naturally, I had to really wrestle with the idea that his not wanting sex doesn't mean there's something wrong with me or that he doesn't love me. It is, of course, still a work in progress, and I'm healing from dealing with neglect in childhood. We're having significantly more sex now that we're living together, not quite as much as I would like since we still work opposite schedules, but I'm realizing that we go through cycles in life, and especially in marriage, where we're

having more sex or less sex, and that's normal. I'm also realizing in talking to friends that not having that much sex in a marriage is actually quite common. I feel like we hear about husbands badgering their wives for sex all the time, but we don't hear much about wives who want more sex in their marriage. I'm sure that there are plenty of wives who are in the same position, so I hope this helps someone else too. Thank you for following up. Sincerely, A. I mean, I totally agree. I, for one, usually in our marriage, or at least for the first decade, I was the one who wanted more sex than he did.

And it changes. It changes from month to month. It changes from year to year. Sometimes you're going to have tons of sex or maybe more sporadic sex, but it might be even better sex. But why weren't they fucking living together as a married couple? I don't understand that. My guess is probably work-related situation. No, work-related? I don't know. What does that mean? She left that information out. Yeah, that's a pretty crucial piece of information. So please include all the details when you're writing it to Dear Chelsea. Okay, we take this shit really seriously. Yes, but also make your emails brief, please. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Be succinct and yeah,

with all of the details. Listen, I love bullet points. If you send me something with bullet points. I'm just me something with bullet points. I'm just trying to think about all the sex I've had in my life and when there was ever like a deficit of sex. Like a dry spell. Yeah. Well, I mean, when I was in a relationship, I guess because I've never been married, you know, but some men become unfuckable within the relationship.

Like they do something that is a turnoff. You know, like I remember a long, a relationship a long time ago that I was in and we lived together. There was like a period towards the end where he just was so needy, so needy that it was not sexy. And then I would just pretend that I had a yeast infection like almost every week to get out of fucking him. And I would just be like, I have another yeast infection. I have this. I mean, I would have used COVID

had it been before. That was before COVID, but that's another great way to get out of sex. In the beginning, it's always great. It's always fun. And obviously that honeymoon period doesn't last. I guess, I don't know how long it lasts for. I think it's like a year.

Yeah, okay. But it's going to be different for everybody. Yeah. And when people do stuff, I just wish men were aware of the behavior and women of the behavior that makes us not want to have sex with you. Yeah. You know, like really jealous behavior is a turnoff, really needy behavior. Like, I don't know. Does anyone like a needy guy? I don't think so. And it's just, it's so obvious when you see it. You see the end of the relationship when someone starts becoming needy and like, oh, like, don't go somewhere without me or don't do this or don't do that. It's like you see the end in sight just because it just drives someone away. You just have to like, even if you don't feel it inside, you just got to be like, cocksure. Like, I'll be here. You do your thing. I'm great. Yeah. I think when you hold onto something too tight, you're always going to lose it. Yes. So that's the lesson of the day. Yes.

Catherine, I've been meaning to tell you that you're going to have to get rid of your social media accounts because we're going to combine ours because you're not allowed to have your own anymore. I've been meaning to tell you. I've been meaning to let you know what I'm about to do. Yeah, that's a death knell. When you see somebody who's like, the couple's name is the Facebook account or Instagram account, you're like, controlling. Chelsea, I have a question from one of our listeners that's kind of about voting. And I know you've been posting a ton about that lately. Yes, guys, voting. You can vote early. And the last day of voting is November 8th. If you are not registered to vote, you can still register to vote. It is really,

really important to be voting, guys. It's complicated and it's a pain in the ass, and it's worth it. Awesome. So specifically, Tom says, Dear Chelsea, I just want to start out by saying I love your podcast. I listen to it every week during my six-hour drive to Berkeley from Fort Irwin, California, to visit my husband. I'm a 28-year-old white gay guy in the Army, finishing up almost seven years, and I'm trying to be a more responsible voter. I've gotten my past two ballots like most military people, absentee. Coming from a conservative household, I was definitely brainwashed in my younger years into that mentality, which obviously goes against my liberal and progressive ideals. I'm trying to vote more responsibly, but I find it difficult to find information on local candidates and smaller races so I know who to vote for.

Do you know of any good tools to find out more about people up for election? Ballotpedia seems to be the biggest one, but it doesn't tell me anything on that person's voting history and stuff like that. Thank you. Very respectfully, Tom. Well, hi, Tom. Good questions. Because yeah, there are a lot of cheat sheets you can use. Like for instance, I used the LA Times cheat sheet. There were a couple of votes I didn't agree with that the LA Times had. So I used a progressive cheat sheet too. There's some progressive outlet. But if you go to that candidate, if you're deciding between two candidates, you can go to that candidate's Web site and they should have a history of everything that they voted on. If they do not have a history of what they voted on, it's public information. You just have to dig a little deeper and like probably go to the state legislation for California and find out which candidates, you know, voted for what. But for anyone in the country, you have to find your progressive liberal cheat sheet. Who are the candidates that support? Yeah, like a voter's guide. And those are easily attained because when I looked it up, like five

came up and I was like, oh, I picked the top two that I know about because there's just too many measures on every ballot. And the wording can be very confusing. So they can kind of like, depending on which state you live in, they can trick you into voting for something that you really don't want to be voting for. Yeah. Another recommendation that a friend of mine actually gave me was to go to a local chapter of an organization that you share beliefs with. Maybe it's like White People for Black Lives or whatever it is, and ask them specifically about people in your area and for those local elections. Yeah. And for this election specifically, it would probably be any candidate that is pro, you know, rights, abortion rights. I think that is probably the most important issue on the ballot right now.

Yeah. And go vote. Yeah. Fucking vote, people. you can look if someone votes if i ever meet a man that wants to have sex with me again that doesn't vote it's not happening just know that because i know there's a ton of straight men listening oh you guys i'm performing this weekend in tucson saturday night and uh colorado springs color night. Yes. Tickets are still available for both shows. So buy some. Okay. Bye. I'm excited about our guest today because I haven't spoken to her in a long time and she's a great actress. She's beautiful. I love watching her and her lover and their baby. You could see how much motherhood has changed her if you follow

her on Instagram. She has a new book coming out, a baby book called A Name from the Sky. And she's a new movie called Marlo that's also coming out. So say hello to Diane Kruger. Hi. Hi. Hi, baby cakes. How are you? Oh, my God. I love you. I'm so happy to see that beautiful face. Oh, me too. It's been so long. I know. I haven't seen you since when I was last time I saw you. I'm so happy to see that beautiful face. Oh, me too. It's been so long. I know. I haven't seen you since when I was last time I saw you. Let me think. Let me jog my memory. I feel like I always see you at Vanity Fair every year. Or at the Chateau Marmont. I think we were once having a conversation at the Chateau Marmont bitching about our respective boyfriends at the time. It's possible. Where are you? I am in New York right now. I want to tell you that I follow you on Instagram and I have been so moved by you having a baby and your reaction and just

how I can feel the love that you have for being a mother and being in like a great healthy relationship and watching you with your daughter. It's just so sweet. It's really heartwarming. And I don't really appreciate children. So that's saying a lot. Well, coming from you then. Yeah. You know, Chelsea, it's like, I never thought I wanted kids to be honest for a long time. I didn't think so. And Nova was a surprise and it's just so amazing how life can be. She came at the least expected, but yet most wanted time in my life. Really changed my life in the best possible way. That's sweet. So you weren't planning on having a baby. I didn't know that.

Yeah, no. I mean, you know, it crossed my mind. And then, you know, I was like, Oh, it's, it's done. I'm too old. You know, it's not gonna happen. And it did. Well, good. I'm glad that it happened for you. Because I you also just wrote a children's book based on probably becoming a mother, I would presume, right? Well, the book is a little bit about my childhood. So what happened was I was in LA working and my mom from Germany was in town to help me with Nova and she was about one. And the world shut down and weeks turned into months. And I hadn't spent as much time with my mom since I was probably 16 because I moved out so young. And so we started talking about my childhood and stuff I'd forgotten and remembered fondly with her. And I remember

that she told me the meaning of my name because I was really teased for my name, which seems incredible because it's Diane. It's not that unusual, but where I'm from, it was. And she really did change my life because she made me feel special. I'm named after Diane, the goddess of hunt. And I was a very odd kid. I didn't have many friends. My best friend was my pet bunny, Benny, who was a real bunny who would come to school with me on a leash every day. And so kids thought I was crazy and I loved to read and my best friends were the characters in my books. So I felt very unseen and she changed my life that way. By explaining to you the meaning of your name? Yeah, I just felt like what could be so special about

me, you know, little poor me, could I be ever become as powerful as this God is? And could my life have a destiny in a way that was different and special? And so when, you know, Nova was born, I remember we were thinking so hard about how to name her. And I just started writing it down. And that's kind of how it happened. I found an editor and I mean, it's been two years in the making. Wow. So how has your relationship changed with your own mom since you've had a child? Has it changed? It's changed a lot. I finally understand unconditional love. You know, I think I moved out very young. I had a very complicated situation, family situation at home. So my mom kind of lost out of all the good years, I guess you get with

your daughter, you know, when you become friends and things are not so hard anymore. And, you know, I never really came home after I moved out. And so my daughter brought us back together because I didn't know that my mom would step up as such a great grandparent. You know, she really is here when I need her. It makes me feel so much better about going to work, you know, not having her be raised by nannies when I'm away. And just seeing her kindness, it's just really been a watershed moment for me. You know, we still have our differences, of course, but I find myself to be much kinder these days. Yeah, yeah. So when you moved at 16, where did you go?

Paris. To start modeling, acting? Exactly. Modeling, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then New York at 18 and, you know, back and forth. So you speak French, German, English, anything else? No, that's it. And are you teaching your daughter or do you speak to her in French and German as well? Not so much in French, even though, you know, we live in Paris right now for a year as a family, just for work reasons. And she's going to school there as well, French, English, bilingual school, and she's going to a German school once a week. So hopefully she'll get it. Oh, cute. I love that. Yeah, I know. I've been trying to learn Spanish for about seven years. So I mean, the real key ingredient to everybody is to fucking learn it as a baby.

So you don't have to learn it as an adult because we should all know multiple languages. And I'm sick of my, I have my first Spanish class tomorrow, by the way. Nice. She does pretty well. I came back from Spain. We were in Mallorca for a month and I came back. I told my housekeeper, I'm like, listen, don't speak anything but Spanish. We're only speaking Spanish from now on. I need to level up. And I mean, it's really limiting. Yeah. I don't understand a word she's fucking said since I returned. So it's really limiting our conversation, but also talk to me about you and Norman. You're married right no not yet you got engaged oh you did congratulations thank you it's been a year he's a cutie patootie I love Norman yeah I met him

once I did an interview with him and I liked him a lot so I was very happy to find out about you guys getting together because you seem like a great pair and I know that you've been in you had a lot a couple of relationships prior to that and longer ones. So talk to us a little bit about how your life has changed by being in this relationship and how, you know, you've grown. You know, I think that I'm much more my own person.

I don't tend to, I mean, that might sound really dark, but, you know, I hope things will work out with Norman. We'll always be together. But I've kind of grown into being more independent, you know, being hopefully actually a better partner, you know, where I let him do his thing, support him in what he wants to do, but reserve the rights that I want the same for myself. And I'm trying to really live the life of a good family where we model to our child that it's okay to be absent. It's okay to work, but it's the most important thing is to be a family and

uphold those traditions. And I really want to show up and I need him to show up, you know? Yeah. I feel like as we get, how old are you, Diane? I'm 46. Oh, you are? Okay. We're almost the same age. I'm 47. I feel like as we get into our 40s, you hear that a lot that you come into your own and stuff, but it's like very true about the maturity level. That used to be a dirty word to me.

When people said, you have to be more mature, grow up, I'd be like, I don't ever want to grow up. I always want to be like this. I want to be crazy and spontaneous. And I kind of confused what mature is, you know, and now that I'm at this age, it's so nice to handle things with a level of maturation, sometimes in many instances for the first time, even ending relationships or having difficult conversations are just so much more mature and

less dramatic because of- Dramatic, yeah. Yes, yes. Like the drama and the thirst for drama that I experienced when I was younger, I always regretted it. I always regretted the way I would handle things or end things, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship. And there is a very calm knowingness that comes after 40, especially after 45. And I can't wait to see what happens because I don't really want to get any more mature than this. You know what I mean?

I feel like I'm in my sweet spot and that I have accountability and I can listen to differing opinions and then actually be like, oh, instead of being fixed on my opinion, whereas I was like that in my 30s, I thought I knew everything and you couldn't tell me differently. I like the idea of being able to change your opinions now. I agree 100%. I mean, there are things, I don't know about you, but I accepted a lot of things in previous relationships that I just wouldn't anymore.

Not because they were bad people or whatever. They made me do things that I didn't want to do, but I just know I'm not going to be happy when certain criteria are not met. You know what I'm saying? So I won't want to do, but I just know I'm not going to be happy when certain criteria are not met. You know what I'm saying? So I won't settle for less, if that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. That's how I feel too. It's like there's a level of standard, you know, like there's a standard now that you have to be above that line. And it's nice to know that about yourself without questioning it. Like I remember being in my thirties, always asking everybody about their opinion about everything.

And now I just ask fewer and fewer people because I don't care what everybody thinks. It's like you know what you think and you know what your opinions are. You ask yourself. Yeah. And there's a nice. That's true. That's a great feeling as a woman to be like, no, I know what the right thing to do here is. Exactly.

And not relying on other people for their interference. Anyway. Okay. So we're going to, we're taking calls. People zoom in. They ask us really fucking serious questions. So get ready, Diane. Okay.

Okay. We're giving them life advice. Oh, oh God. All right. Before we do that, we're going to take a really quick break. Oh, we're going to take a quick break. Yeah. And we're going to be right back.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really Know Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer.

We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth plus does tom cruise really do his own stunts his stuntman reveals the answer and you never know who's going to drop by mr brian cranson is with us how are you hello my friend wayne knight about jurassic park wayne knight welcome to really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, No Really.

Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Fantastic. Well, we're back with Chelsea and Diane Kruger.

This first email actually fits right in with what you were talking about just now. So this first email comes from Tired Mama. Dear Chelsea, I'm a mom of two young boys and also work a full-time job as a heavy equipment operator. I'm a shift worker, which means I work days and nights, 12-hour shifts, and often work overtime. I'm trying to get ahead financially and contribute to providing for my family.

My husband works full-time as well, the same schedule, and also has done his fair share of overtime while I was on maternity leave. My issue is I often feel guilty taking time for myself in regards to self-care, massage, chiropractic, acupuncture, and yoga, because I'm working so much. So in doing any of those things, I have less time available to spend with my kids. After every shift, my body aches. I'm so sore, yet I force myself to work more overtime. My husband has made comments in the past about me, quote, not making my kids a priority when I had a babysitter lined up so I could play softball. I was only able to

make it three games last summer. I'm not allowed to mention anything about my hobbies or passions because I just don't have time to pursue them. I can't even say anything negative about my husband, as he's a great dad and rarely takes any time for himself either. He believes that work is the only time he can handle being away from his kids and wants to spend all of his free time with them. It's one of the things that I love most about him, but it's also causing tension and resentment in our relationship. How do I go about creating a healthy work-life balance that won't give me major mom guilt? Signed, another tired, guilty mama. Oh, it's so hard to be a parent. It's so much work. Well, that sounds tough. I mean, it is tough in the best of times,

and that sounds like a really tough situation. Yeah. I would say, first of all, just because he wants to be with his kids all the time, that's great. Obviously, that's a great quality, but you're not the same person and you have different brains and different genetic makeups and different needs and different wants. And if you sit down and explain to him that and that this will help you be a better parent at home, it's like putting that oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on anyone else. It's like you have to take care of yourself, especially when you're working at like, you know, manual labor. Yeah, absolutely. Like that's not easy on your body. So it's not even just for that. It's for your own health and longevity and ability to work those extra hours. And I know that you said that you need the money and it's a financial situation, but if there's any chance that you don't have to work extra hard, like, please don't. I understand if you need to do it, you've got to do it. But if you don't, it's like that's giving yourself the gift of time as well.

Everybody needs to recuperate and rest from whatever they do. So I would really advise sitting down with your husband and just laying it all out. Please don't make me feel guilty for taking care of myself. And explain, you know, in the sweetest way, like what this job does to you physically and figure out a solution between the two of you that it feels like a compromise because it can't just be black or white. Like you've got to have a little bit, you know, he's got to give you something that you can do in your spare time to kind of recoup, whether it's a massage or you go and play softball or whatever.

Yeah. I think in this case, it would come down to having a conversation with your husband about this is what I need from this relationship and this family, and this is what you need and want from this relationship. So as partners, how can we decide, okay, this X amount of time per week, you allot from my self-care, whatever I want to do in that time, doesn't matter if I want to go softball or I want to go take a massage, but these two hours per week or three hours per week are for me and then decide which ones are for him so that he doesn't feel guilty. Right. So, and then stick to that, but there's really, I totally get where she's coming from that guilt. I mean, I feel it when I'm making a movie and it's, you know, 14-hour days and I don't see her, you know, and I'm double shifting and she's crying. It's tough.

But partnership is really, maybe she has family, maybe you have family to help out every once in a while, you know. Yeah, I love that you said that you have your mom come and help with Nova and that she's a resource for you. And having her have that extra time with her grandma is probably, like, amazing. Yeah. resource for you. And having her have that extra time with her grandma is probably like amazing. And the other thing I would say is, you know, if there's not family in the area and you can't afford a babysitter, find a friend who's got kids around the same age and do that for each other. So, you know, Tuesdays we'll watch your kids for a few hours. Thursdays you watch our kids for a few hours. So you have that time. And the other thing too is you do need time to reconnect with your husband. Like if you guys are going to have a partnership that can

withstand raising kids and long hours and all that stuff, you have to set aside a little bit of time for each other as well, even if it's just a little bit each week or, you know, a small amount of time every night. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, this isn't a huge problem. It's just something that you should, it's actually a good way to like practice problem solving within your marriage when things come up because your husband sounds awesome and there's no way when you talk to him in a real way about how you're feeling that he won't be responsive to that. You know, he just has to hear it more specifically from you in a more measured kind of way without the children around, without any distractions. So yes, have that conversation. And yes, and we wish you well. And please keep us posted.

Yes. Our next question comes from Paulette. She says, Dear Chelsea, I met my husband almost nine years ago at a work conference. We met, fell in love, and I moved to Quebec to become a stepmom. And we married all in under two years. Now we have 18-year-old twins and a 20-year-old, all living at home, two weeks on, two weeks off, and not pulling their weight. The oldest is working and going to school. The twins are working but not going to school. Their bond with their dad is tight, and they prefer to be at our house all the time. I understand because we live on the water with all the water sports toys available to them, but I'm a 53-year-old woman

who was raised apart from my siblings, have never had a roommate, and lived most of my adult life alone in my own house. Moving to Quebec, I was thrust into disorder and immediately put on the hat of a stepmom, a short order chef, cleaning lady, laundress, taxi driver, et cetera. At first it was new and I had the energy for it.

But now as a step parent of adult kids, I want my clean, orderly alone time at least a couple of days a week. My husband doesn't understand or agree. Am I being unreasonable? Thank you for your time, Paulette. I think the theme today is women need to be alone. We need alone time. What don't you guys fucking get about this and when we were having our our pre-interview call poor paulette like she's she was outside

taking some time to have this conversation with me and literally in the span of five minutes she got interrupted like three times i was like you're not kidding. It's so true. Hi, Paulette. Hi. Hi there. Hi. Thanks for having me. Oh yeah. Our pleasure. Diane is our special guest today. So we will wait. She's actually a mother. Actually, Diane, you go first being that you are the only mother in this room besides Paulette. Well, listen, I'm a, I don't consider myself a stepmom, but my better half has a step-mom taking them to work or whatever they're doing, they 100%, the 18 and 20, they need to clean their shit up. Are you kidding me? I'm teaching my four-year-old to clean up 100%. Yeah. I don't think that it gets any easier. I think that with my husband's kids, they were a lot better when they were younger,

like listening and cleaning up and stuff. And they've kind of gotten to the point where they know everything, you know? And so even though they want to be treated like adults, they don't necessarily want to like, you know, pay for their own home house, pay for their clothes, you know, stuff like that. So it's kind of... What's your husband's take on the situation? My husband, he's very giving. He's a very, very, he's a giver. He would just keep on giving, giving, giving, I believe. I think that he pulls back because he sees how it affects me.

So he is being a little bit respectful. There's a lot of times where he's like, what's the big deal? But it's a big deal because it affects me. It affects me inside. It affects me how my, you know, how my days go. And so I guess I, I kind of feel a little bit, I'm a little bit deserving of the children and their development because I do need that alone time. So I don't know how it affects them. And I'm kind of concerned with that too. Well, you, have you had a conversation with your husband about this? I have, but there goes a long period of time where he's very understanding.

And then something happens. Like the most recent thing is my husband, he, his oldest son wanted to have his girlfriend spending the night. They've been dating together for a couple months. And I said, you know, I wasn't really ready for that. He hasn't really been participating in the house you know let's have a game plan let's not do that let's not agree to this now and then the son helps him out with a couple of things around the house and then all of a sudden you know it just changes and he's like oh yeah so by the way the girlfriend is spending a night tonight I'm like what oh yeah what happened yeah he's got to talk to you about that stuff that's almost like inviting another roommate to live in your house yeah and yeah and that's not gonna happen no but also that's not a good partner right he can't make those decisions without you i think you can

only be in a partnership if you get from it what you need, right? And I understand that he wants to be a good dad and he's the father of these children. So I'm sure there's guilt of having a divorce and whatever else is going on in his head and wanting to be a fun dad and all that stuff. I would suggest writing down your needs and an ideal world, what needs to happen. And then even if you want to write it down, because sometimes they feel like emails or like a written thing is easier to digest than talking face to face at first, right? Because you don't have an emotion. You don't have a reaction

to it with the other person. And then one solution I could already see is that you say to him, okay, like one day a week, days a week I really need my alone time so I need you I need you to schedule time with your children take them to the park take them to I don't know movies in the city movies whatever but I need the house for myself from eight to six I don't want to see any of you and you know, he needs to do that to make you happy because otherwise, I mean, that's not fair on you. That's not a partnership. Yeah. Yeah, I agree.

Paulette, you had also mentioned there's a bit of a language barrier because the kids are French speaking and you're in Quebec. Yeah, right. Yeah, so their English is a lot better now since, you know, I've known them for like eight years. But my French is not as good, but there is still that. So I think that kind of affected the beginning or the forming of the relationship because they wouldn't come to me for a lot of things. They would come to me, where's my dad? But that was kind of like about it. So yeah, that's definitely. Well, that's a perfect, you can use that as a scapegoat. Obviously, we've got our signals crossed here. I agree with Diane. I always think it's better to write

something down before you say it. But I think a good family meeting is in order because people respect boundaries. They don't like it hearing it at first. But ultimately, it's proven that people understand once you've set a boundary, people understand that they need to respect that. You know what I mean? And then that instills more respect in them. And you can say it like, you know, that it was a language barrier. Maybe you didn't make yourself clear, but there's no reason they shouldn't be cleaning

up after themselves in your house. There's no reason. I had a situation like that with my family and all my nieces and nephews one summer. And I had to write the whole family a letter about what the normal things to do and respectful things to do as teenagers. Like, you don't get to leave your dishes out. You don't get to leave your laundry out. You're not their cleaning lady. You're their stepmother. And you're a human being who needs

her own space. And, you know, you didn't have children. You're happy to have these people in your life and you love them, I'm sure. But this was a situation that you came into. So to have them think about that and understand that a little bit better and that you're an individual who needs your own private situation going on and your alone time. Thank you. I also think like there might be a conversation about what age is the right age to start paying rent. And maybe that rent just goes toward a cleaning lady who comes once a week and can clean up after their messes. But I also find if moving out is kind of the goal at some point eventually, charging a 20-something rent is a good way to help them move that direction.

Help them move out, yeah. As an exit strategy. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. And then, you know, one of the sons will send us like a picture of a bike that he wants to buy. And I'm like, three months rent right there. What are you doing? Yeah. So did you say the 20 year old lives with you too? All three of them? Oh yeah. Yeah. They should start transitioning out of that. But that's something you could talk to with your husband before you bring that up because let's ease into this conversation so that you get good results. Right. So that they're responsive Because who can argue with a conversation about cleaning up after yourself? It's not a really arguable

vantage point, you know? Right. And I love the idea of, you know, as Diane said, like writing down those dates and times, like this is when I have the house to myself, you guys go out, and like that's a non-negotiable. Yeah. I like that because it gives me a control back too. I think that a lot of what I'm missing is like some kind of control in my life. And to be able to expect when you're going to have the house to yourself, you know, setting that expectation of like, okay, this is my time. Exactly. Well, thank you. Yeah. Thanks for calling in, Paulette. Good luck with everything. Thanks. I appreciate it. Have a great one. Take care. Bye. Thanks, Diane. Bye.

I wouldn't be down with any 18-year-olds living with me under any circumstance. They can visit and that's it. And even visiting can't go on forever. You know what I mean? I'm not down with that. Like ongoing. I love being alone. I can't even tell you.

I mean, I can. I could go on and on about it. It's just so nice. I just love sleeping alone, you know? I mean, not that I would- You do. I do. I can, I could go on and on about it. It's just so nice. I just love sleeping alone. You know? I mean, not that I would. You do. I do. I do. I mean, only just cause I'm fresh out of a relationship where I slept with somebody every night and I, I like my dogs in my bed and I like to like, I just like, I like to be alone in bed. You're a good sleeper too. And I love sleeping. I fucking love to sleep. I mean, I could sleep for like 10 hours. So yeah. So do I. That is a problem. It is definitely the ongoing dispute in our family too. Cause I like to go to bed early cause I have to get up early and my better half does not.

Oh, he's a night owl. Yeah. And he doesn't get up to take her to school. I do, you know. What time do you like to go to bed, Diane? Oh my God. If I could, 9.30. I'm not kidding. You know, she's in bed by nine. I'm fucking exhausted. I'd like one and a half a bottle of wine and just pass out. Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm with you and I don't have a baby, so I can't even imagine how exhausting it must be. I mean, if I could go to bed at eight and feel like I could tell that to people, I would be doing that. Sometimes I say that just in case somebody asks me what time I went to bed and I don't want to sound like an asshole

that I went to bed at eight o'clock. Last time we were at dinner. I totally get it. I know. I was at dinner with two girlfriends and I was like, okay, we had dinner at 7.30, at 9.30 probably. I'm like, okay, I have to get home.

I have to be in bed by 10. And they're like, oh my God, you're so ridiculous. And I'm like, no, I'm not. I fucking love it. I love sleeping. But that's, I mean, it's a good thing to know about yourself. So you can just be like, okay, my God, you're so ridiculous. And I'm like, no, I'm not. I fucking love it. I love sleeping. But that's, I mean, it's a good thing to know about yourself. So you can just be like, okay, I'm going to peace out now. Yeah, especially when I'm in a great hotel.

I also love that, that coziness. The best. With the nice sheets and the nice pillows. Yeah. Now they have this new thing where you can, I forget what it's called. Ben Bruno was telling me about it this morning at my workout. Like a temperature mattress where you can adjust the temperature. Oh, wow. Yeah. I need to get one of those. Is it a sleep number bed? No, you can either get the mattress or you can get the top of a mattress.

It's called something. I'll find out the name of it. Okay. Do you like to sleep in a freezing bedroom? Yes. 65 degrees is what I, my preference. And which is difficult because most men don't, I once had a boyfriend who wore a scarf every night because he was like, it's so fucking cold in here. I'm going to catch pneumonia. And I love sleeping in an icebox. Dude, you and Norman are the same. I fucking hate it. Really? Well, you're European. Europeans don't like the cold at night. No, that's not, yeah, it's in your blood. No, but there's cold in there. 65 ice block. Like, you know, your nose is cold while you're under the covers. No, that's crazy. in there. 65 ice block. Like, you know, your nose is cold while you're under the covers. No, that's crazy. Did you guys just move to LA or? No, we've sold our

house. And now we are actually in New York. We live in New York, but we're in Paris for a year. Oh, I thought I read something that you went to a table read and Norman bought you guys a house without, you know, he did. He did, which was fun. So we were there. We were there during the pandemic, which was great with a kid and everything. But then, yeah, we're just not LA people, I'm over LA. I find LA to be, whenever I'm gone, I mean, I'm not here a lot because I'm usually on tour. I travel a lot. I spend my winter skiing in Whistler. But when I come back after being home for like two weeks, I'm just like, I got to get the fuck out of here. It's just too much. It's too stupid, this town. It's too ridiculous. Are you in the city or where are you? What part of town? Yeah, well, right now, unfortunately, I'm in Beverly Hills because I'm in a rental

and I'm building a house in Brentwood, which will be done in the wintertime. And that'll be nice because that's more private. I just don't like the pressure of going out all the time in L.A. When people know you're around, you kind of feel obligated to show up to things. I hate that. I want to do what I want to do. You know, I'm a little bit selfish that way. That's why I leave town for months at a time. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer.

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Bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, who do we have next? Well, our next caller is Rachel. She says, Dear Chelsea, I've lived my entire life in a 10-hour segment of I-5 between California and Oregon, and I find myself dreaming daily about life beyond such a small bit of the world. My husband loves where we live. What's a 10-hour segment? What does that mean? Like within a 10-hour drive. Oh, okay. I know, it's just sort

of an artful way of describing it. My husband loves where we live, surrounded by friends and family, good reliable work, the perfect home, but I want to create more experiences for us. He says he's interested too, but I also hear him saying regularly how much he loves living where we do, having weekly game nights, pickleball games, and more. It hurts my heart to think about taking him away from all that, but my heart also aches for a life beyond Southern Oregon. I want to experience several different lives, study abroad by getting my PhD, and plan last-minute weekend train trips to new countries. That said, I struggle with high anxiety, so I'm quite understanding that this dream of mine might be short-lived. We might go abroad, and then I decide that's not what I thought it would be,

and hate it, and we're back within six months. I'm so torn. I don't know what to do or where to start. Any ideas are greatly welcomed. Rachel. And Nathan. Oh my God, we have our first couple. I love this. I've been wanting to do couples counseling for years. Hi.

Oh, fabulous. Hi. Thank you for having us. Oh my God, I'm so excited. Yeah. Diane Kruger's our special guest today and you know Catherine already. How are you all? Catherine, it's a pleasure. Likewise. Well, so, you know, you mentioned also, Rachel, that like you have a little bit of anxiety of like, if you do go abroad or you do go study somewhere else, then, you know, Nathan's going to have a lot of free time and be going to make friends and everything. And tell us a little bit about that. Yes, I am quite a little bundle of anxiety. And when we talk about the potential of

going abroad and moving abroad, Nathan's brought up, I'm an introvert. I'm happy every night at home reading. That's what I want to do. And he's like, oh, I can just find friends. I'll find places to go play board games and people hang out with. And as he says that, and I say, absolutely, my anxiety is like, but will I be comfortable with that? And I don't know if I will feel safe if I'm home alone and you're out in the world and it's a world I don't know I'm not comfortable with. And I just worry that like, if I can't do that for him, would that version of us being abroad be okay with him and be enough for him if it's just me at home and not with me, not letting him be out? And then I feel bad about that too, if that's the reality of it. So is the only, that's okay. Is the only option moving abroad?

Like what about moving somewhere within the country? So it's not such a big leap. Is that an option? Yeah, I think so. Yes. I want to do it all. So something happened. I had this moment where I realized I've only lived in a 10 hour window of I-5 my entire life, and he's only lived in like a four hour window. And so I'm like, the world's too big. I need to experience it all. I want to know what it's like to live on the East Coast, but then also abroad. And I see pictures of all these different countries and I don't just get this feeling of like oh how fun it would be I'm I have a guttural like I need to be there I need to experience it but why why like pack up and leave your old life behind can you not go for a month that in an

Airbnb in Italy and just live there for a month do you feel like it I would love to try that yeah I mean I wouldn't give up my house before I knew I really liked Rome. That seems, you know what I mean? Yeah, I totally agree. I like having something to fall back on and feel more comfortable. I think we have a good, a good life here in Oregon. And yeah, that's, I think where some of the anxiety for me is coming from is if we just like packed up and moved away without knowing what reality would really look like. Yeah, I think that's reasonable to have anxiety about that. Do you have a place in mind? Like, are you obsessed with going to live in a certain part of the world or is it just anywhere? I like the idea of like getting my Ph.D. abroad and then we're stable and we're in one space.

And then we could wake up on the weekend and be like, let's take a train trip into who knows where. And then the other part of me loves kind of the nomadic lifestyle of like being three weeks in one town or country and then just picking up and going to another one. And I don't want to sell the home because I want to have a place to come back to. I want to anchor knowing if it doesn't work out. Nathan's really analytical. He likes to ask the why and I'm like, why not? You know, and so we're kind of in a different area, I think with meeting in the middle.

And I think the other thing that worries me is at the end of the day, he says, I would do anything for you. Whatever brings you joy in life, I want to do that and make that happen for you. But then I also worry if I'm affecting his happiness. I don want to do that and and I I don't want to be selfish and I don't know where that line is for both of us to be happy but you don't you don't know until you go there that's like that's like saying what if the world ends next week and I haven't packed

up my pictures I mean it's just like it's like you don't know until you do it. You just got to jump the ship. Don't sell your house. Go for a month long vacation. See what it's like. Look at the universities. I don't know, whatever you want to do. Come home, go to Paris on Christmas for two weeks

and see if you guys love it. I feel like it's a waste of time to talk about what could be if you're not doing it. You're living in your anxiety, I think a little bit too much. Like you're worried about all of these things that you'll never know unless you take a leap of faith. And as long as you guys who seem really solid,

like you have a solid relationship and a solid foundation, as long as you guys commit to each other that you're going to do this as an experiment and you're going to go look at schools and you're going to spend a month in some part of Italy or France or England or whatever floats your boat, just do it and commit to doing it together and seeing and having an open communication about it the whole time. When you find some place that you love and that you feel like you belong, you're going to know immediately. You're both

going to feel it. You know what I mean? So it's like, you can't answer that question before you take that leap of faith. You know, you have to trust the process, trust the unknown and trust the universe is going to show up for you in a way where you're going to be somewhere and you're going to go, oh my God, it could be Amsterdam. You guys could be like, holy shit, this is where we belong. This is where I see myself living for the next five years. And then you can come back and sell your house and take care of that. But yeah, you definitely want to go experiment. Are you financially able to do that, you guys? Yeah. Yeah, we're very blessed. The tough thing is work. We are financially. It's just getting that time off from work can

be tricky. We both have jobs and they've been fine with us taking a week or two. But if it was a little bit longer, it would be a little bit more of a conversation. Yeah. And, you know, I think that's a conversation that's worth having. My younger brother, this is pre-pandemic, he and his wife got married and they wanted to go travel. So they set up a time that was like six months that they want to travel South America. And his work initially was like, nope, we don't do work from home. We don't do remote. No way.

And he kind of kept after it. And they were like, all right, if you create a proposal about what that would look like, what your hours would look like, what the relationship to the business looks like. He did. He created this whole proposal and it then became the work from home manual for the entire company. So and of course, there's so many things you can do from anywhere these days. Maybe that's maybe not the line of work that you're in, but there might be other options as well. But yeah, if you can't afford to like just have your house empty, you could always think about Airbnb-ing it. you could rent it out. And, you know, even if that is for a month, like Diane said, or when you find the right place for six months or for a year, so you sort of always know there's that place to come home to if and when you need it,

that would be a great idea. Yeah. And if you can work from Italy or wherever you guys decide, we've already decided you're going to Italy, apparently, but if you can work from somewhere, you know, even if it's like, okay, we're going to take two weeks off and the other two weeks I'm going to be available, you know, obviously it's a different time zone and different, there's a big time difference, but still like, I'm sure there's ways around it. If you guys are intent on doing this, which you seem to be and be honest with them, you know, this is your wife's desires to go look at master programs or whatever and, and just be available for whatever compromise you

can make work-wise. Yeah. I also think I'm working on getting Italian citizenship through bloodline and that won't happen for a couple of years. So Nathan's like, great. Whenever it happens, we can talk about this. I'm like, no, let's go now. Like what I promised tomorrow, let's do some version of this now. And I think I'm very like. Well, start dipping your toe in that water. Yeah, absolutely. I agree. I just got my German citizenship because my mother's German and it took me two and a half years to get it, FYI. But she's been traveling.

But, and I was like paying somebody to do this for me and it took a long time. So don't wait for that. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. The other thing I think you have to look at is, you know, obviously, Rachel, you've got this amazing guy. He's like, whatever you want to do, whatever makes you happy, let's go do it. He loves you. So I think one thing you need to examine is what's coming up for you and makes you feel so scared and emotional about like, if you want to stay home with a book and he wants to go to a cafe and meet people and, you know, go to a meetup group, it doesn't mean that you're not enough for him.

He loves you exactly the way you are. He loves that you're staying home to read a book and like have a cozy time, but he is also going to need, you know, that outside stimulation. But outlets, we all need our own outlets. And they're not always we don't share outlets, just like you can't use the same outlet in France that you use in America. We all we all don't have the same outlets. What I need to do is different than what my partner's going to want to do. You know, and it's also nice to be like, cool, go do that. I'll be here. Yeah, it's very liberating. Like Diane was just talking about that earlier, like getting to the level in your relationship

and a maturity level where you're not threatened by somebody going and doing their own thing because there's a trust and a foundation that has been built. And it's good for people to go and do their own thing. It's good for people to have hobbies. If you didn't want to go play pickleball or join these things, that would be weird.

Like it's more dynamic for you both to have individual aspects of yourself that you don't necessarily share all the time. I, I a hundred percent agree. My concern is more if I'm going to be too scared to have him out in the world, like that anxiety piece is my, my huge anxiety about safety. And I worry, like even like last night he was out playing soccer and I was like, Oh no, it's raining. What if you got in a car crash? And so that's something I've been working on for 10 years.

Yes. Yeah. So if I'm worried about him going out and then I don't want him to go out. Yeah. What if I take away that little joy? Like, I don't know. I just, well, I think once you practice, have you made any progress? A lot. Yeah. Therapy's good for everyone. Just neck way.

Yeah. So I would just add that Rachel doesn't stop me from going out. She just has these feelings she sort of deals with while I'm out and some anxiety there. But she's not like hampering my life and like locking me in a cage where I'm stuck at home all the time. And do you check in with her a lot to ameliorate any of her fears? Yes. Yeah. Except for when I forget to, and then that's been an issue. But yes, we try, we have a whole texting routine when I'm out and not at home. I have a girlfriend like that. She freaks out when her

husband goes on bike rides. He goes every Sunday morning and she, every Sunday morning, she's like, what if something happened? What if something happened? And I'm like, what, what is this? I had never seen. I'm like, what do you mean? He's on a fucking bike ride when he goes every Sunday. She's like, but every Sunday it happens. So it's like this pathology that exists. So I know that what you're talking about is prevalent or exists. But yeah, the more you let him go out, does that help you with dealing with it? Yeah. And I think it's the idea.

Whereas I know once I'm there, I can see like, oh, the world feels normal and safe. Yeah. I don't know what I was scared about, but I just need to get there, you know, to that point and to like physically be in that space and recognize like, this is a very normal space. Have fun, Nathan. I'm going to not join you and do my own thing. And I'm not going to worry about it, but that's also in theory. So we'll see what happens. Yeah. You have to stop. You have to stop projecting all of your fears. I mean, a good exercise is just to stop. Like when you're going to say it out loud, don't, you have to say the opposite and internalize it to yourself. Like this is not a real fear. This is something that I have going on in my narrative

that's speaking to me. It's that voice in the back of my head. That's not the real you. And you have to separate those two things. We have the real us and then we have that voice. And that voice is just always trying to get into us, you know, so you can exert control and power over this situation by knowing that you're stronger than that voice. Yeah, that was a real game changer for me recently was your thoughts, just because they pop into your head, are not always true. And sometimes you can have that like overarching, like, all right, my brain wants to tell me that this is a scary, frightening thing, that my husband's like going out and having a good time with, you know, with

our friends or with whoever. He might be unsafe. Maybe he meets somebody he likes better than me, whatever. But also they're reminding yourself like that's just a thought that's popping into my head. It doesn't make it true. Yeah. I really like Chelsea, the word narrative. I think like that's the narrative I'm telling myself. And that's like, that's so easily skewed and like I can rewrite that narrative and take control of it. Yeah. And when he's out, you can flip the dialogue. Like, Nathan's safe right now.

Nathan's having a good time right now. Nathan's playing pickleball right now. And you keep repeating that. And the vibe will change eventually. It will take time. But you've already been in therapy about it. So it's just a matter of really just shifting your thinking, you know, and remembering that you are in charge of your thoughts and your emotions and your actions.

Sorry, I shouldn't say you're in charge of your thoughts because what you just said is true. We have thoughts that pop into our head all the time. It's like when my mom, my sister had her baby, she goes, all I can think about is dropping my baby. All I can think about is dropping my baby. And it's like, she can't control that coming into her head, but she had to understand she's not going to drop her baby. Like she's not going to do that.

You know, it's like irrational thoughts. So yeah, as long as you can try to frame them, I think you'll be fine. And yeah, go on that vacation. You guys have a great marriage. Go like experience it. Take a bunch of risks and see where you land. You may go and be like,

I don't want to live anywhere other than Oregon. You never know. Yeah. I would be so upset if I let my fears about what my what ifs take away the possibility of living abroad and or other states and just having that adventure together. So. Well, I want your next email to us to be from Italy. I would love that. We went in 2018 and I can't stop thinking about it still. Okay. Well, have fun, you guys. Keep us posted. Yeah. Thank you so much, Diana. It was a pleasure with you, Chelsea, Catherine. Thank you so much. Bye, guys. Thank you all for joining us.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. A lot of domestic issues today, girls. Yeah, yeah. Well, let's take a quick break, and we'll be right back to wrap up with Diane and Chelsea. Okay. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like... Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer.

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you two? Does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by.

Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening?

Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really? No, Really?

And you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Diane Kruger. We're going to wrap up our episode. Yes. And Diane, do you have any advice you'd like from Chelsea? Oh my God, Chelsea, just tell me how to live. I follow you on Instagram and your life seems like a rock star.

I just want to be you. Well, you had a baby. So party's over. Party's over. Thanks. You made your bed and now you have to lie in it for 18 years or if you're or if you're those kids from that other marriage until they're 20 24 but i'm sure as a mother i'm sure as a mother you probably even the thought of your leaving especially a daughter is so terrifying to even think about there's a day that she's going to

want to go to college or leave home. Terrifying. I want her to be changed. I make her say, I'm going to stay with you. You know that book, I Love You Forever? It's a children's book. It's about this kid growing up, and it's about the mother coming into the room every night, and when the kid's asleep, and she holds him, and she sings him the song saying, I love you forever. I like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby, you'll be. And I like make her repeat it all the time so that she won't, at one point the mother grows old and the kid moves across town and basically she then dies. And I make her say to me that she will never move across town. That's funny. Diane's new book is called A Name from the sky by the way it's a great children's book great Christmas gift for everybody who needs to get little kids some presents I'm going to get

a bunch for my friends that all have babies too Diane and congratulations on that and and congratulations on being a happy camper these days sister thank. I thank you so much. It was so lovely to talk to you guys. You too. Likewise. Nice to meet you. Have a great day. Bye. Bye bye.

So I am winding up my stand up tour. Vaccinated and Horny is coming to a screeching halt at the end of the year. I have my last dates coming up. And these are the last

opportunities you have to also buy merch from the website, ChelseaHandler.com. If you want Vaccinated and Horny merch or captain's hats that say, we're the captains now for women only, or t-shirts for men in your family that say, I'm sorry, because they should be. I only have a few dates left. I'm going to Tucson, Arizona. November 5th is Tucson. November 6th is Colorado Springs. And then Rockford, Illinois. Minneapolis.

Rosemont, Illinois. Two shows in Tampa. A show in Fort Myers, Florida. Daytona Beach. Hollywood, Florida. Concord, New Hampshire. Worcester, Mass. Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.

Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. There, I said it. And then San Diego and Riverside, California. And thenarre, Pennsylvania. Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. There, I said it. And then San Diego and Riverside, California. And then Baltimore, Maryland. And then my very last date is December 16th in Redding, Pennsylvania. So this will be the last of me performing. Listeners, if you are enjoying what you're hearing, you can subscribe to Dear Chelsea. That is our podcast.

And you can rate us if you want. Yeah, that's a great idea. It actually makes a huge difference for this podcast, for any podcast that you like. Subscribing, giving it a rating actually make a huge difference in who all it gets served to and helping spread the word. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Subscribe and comment. Yeah. And follow. I'm trying to find what our rating is. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at dearchelseepodcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartRadio, executive produced by Nick Stumpf, produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert. And does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead.

The Really No Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.