Dear Chelsea - Hole Out, But Classy with Tana Mongeau

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

Internet personality Tana Mongeau joins Chelsea to talk about writing a new chapter for yourself, what happens when a party girl stops drinking, and her new podcast, Brand Safe. Then: A fresh nose job has a transwoman seeking celibacy.  And the hunt for a threesome needs to move out of one caller’s own backyard.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Search Joy 101 and listen now. Now, Joy 101 with Hoda Kotopje is presented by CVS. There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me. Evil, wake up. I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Crevette and DePippo. Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse,

appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum. I said, I'm not guilty. I'll take it to the grave. Listen to the devil's quarry in the Bone Valley feed On the Iheart radio app Apple Podcasts Or wherever you get your podcasts All right, listen up The Jonas Brothers here

Our podcast is called Hey Jonas We've here since everyone has a podcast We want it to as well And we've had some incredible guests so far And now our good friend Nile Horn is joining the show How's it going boys? Hey Nile It's the same thing with Slow Hands

Slow Hands is not about anything else really is it You know our taste so good Can't be about food You do the same, Nick, with some of the stuff that you've done. You too, Joe. Drop what you're doing and listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. This Black Music Month, the Questlove show celebrates the visionaries, shaping culture, through sound. From country trailblazer Mickey Gaiden to hip-hop icon, Fafi Freddie, the sonic genius of Thundercat, and the revolutionary voice of Chuck D.

I want it loud. So the timing might be all. Some might be muffled, but what's going to come out of there is something that you can feel. Celebrate Black Music Month with special episodes of The Questlove Show. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and Mighty Tour. In June, I will be in Hyannis, Massachusetts, and then two shows in Nantucket. In August, you can find me in Red Bank, New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary.

That's Canada. And September, I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho, and Spokane. And then in November, I'll be in San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, babies, I'll be there. And then in December, I am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your tickets at Chelseahandler.com for the high, and mighty tour. Hi, Chelsea. Hi, hi. What's happening? Um, what is happening? You have a different

makeup on today. I do. I never do lip gloss, but I did. And I was like, I found myself in the car, even though my hair is too short for it to blow into my lip gloss. I was like leaning away from the window. I'm like, this is not, I don't know. I'm not usually lip gloss girl. I don't know how I feel about lip gloss. I feel the same way, but I always put lip balm on. I put lip balm. Yeah, yeah. Yes, but gloss is like a little. Yeah, lip gloss ends up getting a lot of, too, a lot of other places other than your lips. Yes. Unfortunately.

Yes. It tends to my great. I like a matte finish is how I feel. That's how I feel about aesthetics in general. I like a matte finish. Do you like to be glammed up like when you're at like a show, an award show or or you kind of like you could take it or leave it? I could take it or leave it.

But I do appreciate when I look like at the roast. Like I loved the way that I looked when I saw videos of that. Like I was like, wow, you look really good. So when I see myself or like critics choice, when I get really glammed up. Every once in a while I'm like, wow. Yeah. You know, like with the hair, they'll do something and they add pieces and you look like a completely different person or 10 years younger.

I'm like, I think the volume of hair can really take off age. Oh, for sure. So it makes you look fresher, more vibrant. So I like that. But I mean, yeah, I'm not really one for sitting around getting my hair and makeup done. You're not like a Chris Jenner. It's like every morning. No, I can never do that.

But then I look at what I create on my own and it's a hot mess. So, you know, I don't know what. I don't know. I like to be on vacation with a little tan and then I don't have to worry about anything. Yeah. Well, you know who did arrive looking on point with our guest this week? I, listen, I have to tell you, I was so pleased because she pulled up in a Bentley. And I have a little bit of a thing of like, if you're driving your own Bentley, that's like not how it's supposed to work.

Like if you have a Bentley, someone should be driving you. And somebody was driving her Bentley. And she got out of the passenger side and I had to say, good job, girl. Yeah. Good job. Yeah. She's a hot mess. She's great.

And her name, well, she's an influencer. She's a former MTV mischief maker and her new podcast is called Brand Safe, which is out now. Please welcome Tana Manje. Are we rolling? Because I want to, yeah. What are you rolling is the question.

Here's the question. You should be if you're not. I have been mispronouncing this woman's name ever since I met her. And we're going to tell her OG story because it's ridiculous. And I've been calling her Tana Mangano, which is close to calling her.

calling her Mongoloid. It really is. Mongano. But Chelsea, can I tell you something? I feel like if one day you called me and you were like, well, you wouldn't call me, you'd send me a video and you'd be like high in bed. You called me and you were like, hey, Tanna,

I would be like, what did I do? Like I'd be in trouble almost. Right. Well, you would be in trouble if I called you. Well, yeah. I mean, I leave you video. Which I live for, by the way. I vlog to you.

And it's funny because sometimes you'll send me one and I'm like, and you get that microphone a little bit farther away from your mouth here? You don't like that I'm sucking it. I'm going to eat it. I'm starving. Are you? Always. I have a banana on the way. Oh, she's running a banana. One banana.

She's allowed to have one banana per day. Well, yeah, that's kind of what my conservator tells me, you know, that I should have. She doesn't get a conservator. Okay, let's get your name. It's Tana. It's Tanna. It's Tanna. But you, what I think, I, again, I think that if you really hit me with a Tana, I would be in trouble.

Okay. Why do I think it's Tana? Because I just. Chelsea, I don't know. Yeah. I told her it's Tanna, but she thought it was just my mid-Bestrianian. And I'm big on pronunciation. You know what actually it is, though, is that phonetically it is Tana.

Like Lana, L-A-N-A. H-A-N-A would be like, like, H-A-R-A. You know what I mean? So my parents kind of, but, you know, they weren't really phonetic people. Yeah, well, you don't even talk to your parents. At all. No, okay. And if I did, I guess I wouldn't really lead with phonics.

I have a few more issues to kind of unpack, you know. That's good. Okay, so it's Tana. Tana. Mojo. Mojo. Mojo. Mojo. Yes. It's French. It's giving face smashed on keyboard for sure. It's giving a little New Orleans. Ooh, that hurts me. So deeply.

French quarter of New Orleans. Okay, you know what, I'll take that. I used to really hate New Orleans, but I've been... I don't know. I was roofied there a lot. Oh, well. Like, you know, that'll do it for you. I had a... I only have fondness. I mean, well, not only, but one of my fond memories of New Orleans is that was when 50 Cent and I accidentally debut. our relationship.

I'm going to say accidentally dated. I love saying I accidentally dated. Well, that was an accident too. So, I mean, all dating is pretty much an accident. It really is, honestly. Until you get into like the six, six or seventh week of it, and then it becomes intentional.

Like when you're meeting someone and getting to know them, that is kind of accidental. Yeah. In the beginning, initially. So were you in the accidental stage with 50 cent in New Orleans? Yeah, because he was like,

I'll come wherever you are, where are you going to be? And I was like, I'm going to be in New Orleans. I have a show this weekend. And you're welcome to come. but like, you know, I'm not guaranteeing anything. And so he got a room and he came with his security guard. And I said, let's go for a walk on the street.

And he was like, I can't do that. And I was like, let's go for a walk in the street. Like, you can do it. And he couldn't do that because we walked outside and it was a fucking shit show. It's so fucked up when you tell me a story because I have to sit and smile like, I don't know it. Like, I'm not a fucking murderer. And I'm like, oh my God, that's so funny.

I totally haven't consumed to that like 70,000 times. Let's get to our OGs. Let's get to our OG story so people understand our dynamic because it's abusive. And I just want to say that I'm abusive to her because she's ridiculous and it's out of love. I wouldn't abuse you if I didn't love you. I know that deeply. I know you know that, but just explaining to anyone who might be a new listener. Yes.

But I love like even the other day I was talking about that in the car and I was like, I find it so sweet, obviously, that you even take the time. and then I know that when you love someone you'll like give them a little bit of shit that means you're on the good side with you so it's just I don't know it's beautiful but it did start with me stalking you down well kind of we were on the same flight

you weren't stalking me yeah we like actually I did just book a ticket on a flight that you were on but then I got to the airport and I went into psychosis and I think that's important to talk about. We were at Jet Suite in Vegas because I was coming from my show in Vegas and you were in we were in the little

lounge of Jet Suite. Have you flown Jet Suite? Sweet? No, but I know about it. It's the most convenient way to fly. Unfortunately, they don't fly everywhere. It's more regional right now, but they do kind of have some flights across country. But you can bring your dog and you can, I'm a spokesperson person for Jesse. I'm trying to. Anyway, I saw out of the corner of my eye, like, the age range of a girl that, and I saw her reaction that I was like, she was like, I could tell she was a fan. And I was like, okay. Clenching my ass. You know, and I'm, right, right. And I saw it, but I was also,

it's Vegas, it's the morning, I'm hung over, I'm trying to get out of there. You're also not going to go up to someone and say, do you know me? Are you a fan? So I just saw it. And then she got up and removed herself from this situation. I had to, like, 100% I was like, I have to remove myself from this airport right now where I'm going to assault this woman who factually just does not know me. You know what I mean?

I don't know her. She doesn't know me. I was like assaulting my boyfriend. I'm grabbing his arm. I was like, let me just walk outside. Let me take a breath. Because you just, when you're leaving Vegas, you're already in a mentality. where it's like get me the fuck out of here.

I feel dirty. I feel gross. Like I don't want to be here. And then I walk into the airport and I just look a mess. And I'm like, oh my God, that's my idol. Like just sitting over there. And I was like, I don't know. Just freaking the fuck out.

Well, that's really sweet and cute. I don't know what you're doing with your leg, but you need to get comfortable because this is like up here. Well, I have scoliosis. So are you like offending the whole scoliosis community right now? Okay. I apologize to the scoliosis community. It's good to just apologize in the moment.

I've been learning. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I don't know if that explains you're sitting, but okay, we'll go with that. I mean, I don't even know if I believe you, quite frankly. Well, I'm speedballing right now also because whenever I see Chelsea there is like, I have to consume a certain amount of things before I see you.

What did you take today? I started with a Red Bull. So I was like, let me wake up. Let me. I was watching some. At like 11 a.m. too, it's just like Jesus. You know, that's the only time you would need a Red Bull, to be honest. Like, I'm not having a Red Bull at 5 o'clock at night.

But also I should be awake by 11 a.m. I'm just not a morning person. You know. And then the Xanax, the quarter bar before I see you every time. And honestly, to be real with you, I could use another one. Like, it's still not enough. I love that you take Xanax and are out and about. Like, if I take a Xanax, I go to bed.

It gives me energy, weirdly, which I think says so much about your brain chemistry. Like, what do you mean? I take a Xanax and I'm, like, cleaning the house. It's like if someone takes an Adderall and it doesn't impact them, it's because... Wait, what is the reason? That you have ADHD, right? You know, yeah, if you don't feel anything, you have ADHD. But if you do feel something, you, yeah, if you feel up from it,

and that means you're just partying on anato, basically. Yes. Do you like Adderall? I don't really. I like Adderall, but then sometimes I'm like counting my pores. And I'm like, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's meth.

I don't like to be amped, but I've been taking Celsius. I've taken to Celsius. I love taking Celsius. I've been taking, I wanted to say I've taken to Celsius recently. I have these little brain energy drinks that I do. drink that are healthy. Yeah. And, but I've started taking, like, instead of one, I've been taking two or three,

because my engine is, like, really running low right now in this moment. And so I, this morning I had a Celsius and then I had natural plant-based caffeine. Yeah. And so I am wide awake, but also asleep. I call those the sad zoomies. Uh-huh. Like where it's like, the coffee is coursing through your veins, but you're still sad about it. And it, like, still kind of hurts to get.

And my eyes hurt. Yeah. I do my eyes hurt. My eyes always hurt. I don't think I like being awake. Like just point blank period. Like my favorite pastime is sleeping. Let me give you some background on Tanna.

This is what I know. I'm in trouble. She is the definition of an influencer. You're the ultimate influencer. I was going to say that's really nice. But coming from you, it also might be like. Well, no. I mean, I'm just saying it plainly because that's true.

You have built a career on being an influencer. And you've also had like a whole journey. I've given up on not using the word journey because I can't find a replacement word. I think journey is pretty accurate. I know. I just find it to be a little bit corny. Yeah, journey.

Yeah, and like my journey in question is like getting arrested at Coachella. It's like kill yourself. Yeah, journey does insinuate something. Yeah. Grander. Yeah. So one of the things you stopped drinking

and that was a little, and this is something we have in common. So I understand why you feel a kindred spirit with me, because I also am a professional drinker. Oh, I thought you're about to say you stopped drinking. No, no, no, no. I was like, I'm relapsing.

No, I'm not. Like, if Chelsea Handler's not drinking, something's wrong. I'm not giving up on alcohol. We have an understanding and we get each other. Like, the people need it. But I understand when I met you, you're like, oh, I stopped drinking and this is kind of like,

not your whole identity, but a big part of who you are. And you share a lot of information about your personal life, as I have done my entire life. And I like that. I think that that's very genuine. And I think that that's important. because so many people are putting out this kind of like persona of themselves. And that's fine if you're an actor and you want your privacy or if you're, I don't know,

I don't know what other fields of interest where you're not, you don't necessarily want to be transparent about who you are. But I really relate to people who are themselves and who can be a hot mess on camera and off. You know what I mean? Because it's not an act. I mean, you're a hot mess with or without drinking. It's funny. Because I was just thinking about that too.

Like, I mean, first of all, I'm so happy that I met you in a time of my life that I'm not drinking because I think that my drunk brain would have been like, I can keep up with Chelsea and like jaw swinging and I would have been trying to keep up with you. And I would have just like, I would have had to kill myself. It would have been so embarrassing what I would have done. So I definitely am like grateful for that in that regard. But still a hot mess for sure. I think for a long time I tied my identity so much to like alcohol and I almost had this thought process that if I wasn't part of. and having those type of stories that no one would be interested. And it like, my identity was so tied to it, I guess. And yes, I'm happy to know that I can still bring the hot mess and it's just who I am. And I was thinking about that today because in Vegas when I was with you last, I packed and I didn't try on my outfit. And I brought this skirt. And my asshole was just out. The entire-in-your-asshole out a lot.

Yes. Like, you've seen my asshole more than you haven't. And I was like, you know what? Yeah, it's not the alcohol. Like, that's just, it's me. And you're in love now, too. Yes. I mean, your Instagram is filled with naked pictures of your answer.

Like your skirt comes up to here. And not that I'm, you know, who am I to talk? Obviously, I'm naked all the time too. So it's not a judgment. It's just a clarification. Yes. Yeah, I think people have gathered that for sure. I'm definitely naked.

Yeah, you're naked and you like it. I do. And that's fine. Why wouldn't you? And I like duality these days. You know, sometimes it's a turtleneck and sometimes it's whole out. And we don't always know what we're going to get. Well, like, recently you posted a picture.

You were like lying on a table at a party. but like you had a napkin covering your behind. So it was like, hold out but keep it classy. Was it a panty liner? No, I think it was like a dirty napkin that I went to buffalo sauce on like 30 seconds prior. And some things just do, yeah, they never change.

What does your boyfriend think about you and your behavior? He is truly the most patient person I have ever met. And I definitely have these moments where I'm like radicalized. I'm like, you should leave me. Like I put him through and he loves it. And I don't know how. or why, and I think that's where I feel very lucky. But he is, he's the sound, responsible guy who, like, loves the entertainment of me.

And it's, even right now, I'm like, I was fostering a dog. I failed. I adopted him. The dog's pissing everywhere. He's like, was this really the best idea? Like, and I'm just, but I'm like, I bring the whimsy. Yeah, yeah, you bring the chaos. That's what I tell myself to sleep a night.

Well, yeah, the guy I'm dating is to cause me a sexy tornado. I am so excited. That's honestly an amazing compliment. It is. I like to be a sexy tournative. That's exactly what I was aiming to do in life. Yes, 100%. Yeah.

So I feel like you might be in a similar situation. Because your boyfriend's Hawaiian, so it takes you to Hawaii quite often. Did you just buy a place there? Yes, I did. Yeah. Yeah, and it's so nice to just go there and remember that L.A. is kind of just this fake bubble. And like this. And love L.A. for what it is, but like meet people with values and meet people who are just,

they're calmer. They're just, I've never had chill a day in my life. life. I'm from Las Vegas. I moved to L.A. Like, I'm going a hundred miles a minute. I'm screaming. My hole is out. Like, you know, just, it's nice to have the call mixed in. I saw something mini-driver posted just talking about how everyone should go to Hawaii at some point in their life because of how peaceful and magical the land is. Which is true. Like, when you go there, you do have a feeling that you don't feel elsewhere. Like, you can't compare Hawaii to another place, really, that I visited. Like, I agree. Even though, like, the topography or, like, climate would be the same or similar

in like Bali, it's totally different than Hawaii. Hawaii, you know, like all of the stuff is different. And Hawaii is singular in that, I think. Like, and there's a very healing vibe that you get when you get off the plane in Hawaii and they hand you a lay. And you're like, am I on the fucking love boat right now? You know what I mean? Like, give it to someone. Exactly. You're like, this must have taken a lot of time. And how did you? And I'm where, yeah, and then I'm like, and it smells so fresh. And it really sets the tone for your trip. Yeah. And I'm wearing like a buffalo saw stained aloe hoodie and it's like someone else deserves this way. What do you do with all your lays when you get off the plane?

I, they stopped doing it at the airport and they mainly will do it at like resorts and stuff like that, but people put them in the fridge, they preserve them like I preserved a feel. I didn't know I was a preserver until I met him. Until you met him, yeah. That's another good one. And it is just great. I mean, I think that the thing I love the most about him is how responsible he is. And I think that when you are, at least when I was writing out a little bit of life,

list of things that I wanted in a partner or would find sexy and find attractive my whole life. I was never like, I want a responsible man. Like, I think he was everything that I didn't know I needed, which is beautiful in that way. You know, you think you know exactly what you want in a partner. And it's almost like, we are opposites in a lot of ways, but it like works. Yeah. There's a yin and a yang that balance out. Yeah, because two hot messes don't work together. At all. And I think for so long I wanted that. And then it's like, wait. Yeah, I did too. My boyfriend's like TikTok dancing and cheating on me on Snapchat. chat and where how did I get here you know do you have fitness and wellness questions well chelsea's

personal trainer ben bruno is about to guest on an episode so write into dear chelsea podcast at gmail dot com with all your fitness and wellness questions love horror movies but also working on yourself mental health is horrifying is the podcast where those two worlds collide i'm kandis green a registered psychotherapist and i'm inviting you to journey into the darkness with me i explore the mental health themes behind your favorite horror stories and what they can teach us about fear, resilience, and healing. It's self-care with a sinister twist. Listen to Mental Health is Horrifying on the free IHeart Radio app or wherever you get your

podcasts. In the moment, it felt like it was going on forever. I didn't think I was going to live. I was terrified. There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. it scared the hell out of me that was your first murder case

yes sir fair to say this was the biggest case of your career yes sir rape the murder for a child is as bad as it gets I would think so evil wake up I'm the one that saw the murder take place by crevette and de pippo

Anthony de pippo showed no signs of remorse appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum I said I'm not guilty I'll take it to the grave Listen to The Devil's Quarry on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to hear The Devil's Quarry ad free with exclusive content, subscribe to LaVeth for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. Hey, I'm Hoda Kotby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby. Together, we're going to have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people, like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges.

I've gone through breast cancer and then helped my mother through breast cancer, and that was more difficult. There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Because their new star is Javier T. Torito Hernandez. Everyone sees me as a football player, but before anything else, I'm human. Every single day I'm still learning how to live with problems, mistakes, relationships, emotions ever since I was born. And I still have so many questions. Where do we come from?

What happens after death? How do you deal with cancellation? Cristiano or Messi? Do aliens exist? What is love? Real Madrid or Barcelona? From every day and ordinary to the deep and extraordinary. This isn't a normal podcast.

Everything here is spontaneous, real and genuine. This podcast is like a deep talk with your closest friends. Where vulnerability comes out. Conspiracy theories end up on the table. And goals and lessons are shared. All in this life has an order perfect and all is just. Wait, me, I'm going to pressuram and me

will go to be going to be connect. The Chicharito. I'm Jacharito. And together with IHA Radio, we're going to make the ordinary extraordinary, stay close.

It is a carac. Wow. Listen to learning to be human on IHard Radio, Apple Podcasts, or whatever you get your podcast. I want to talk about your new podcast, which is called Brand Safe. Yeah!

This is actually the first time. I'm talking about it. Okay, this is very exciting. So I'm going to throw up. Because you've been talking about this a lot to me personally. We're talking about launching this podcast. It's called Brand Safe. And you've come from two other successful podcasts, one of which you ended, one of which

you're still doing, right? Yes. Yes. Okay. So do you want to talk a little bit about those two podcasts at all? Why you ended one, why you decided to start one on your own? Yeah. Yeah.

Let's go. I mean, so canceled is the one that ended. And it was like such a magical. whole time. I look at it as this like really fucked up scrapbook that I get to show my kids one day. And we were just young and I was partying a lot at least in Los Angeles and kind of coming on and just airing people out. Like I was definitely a lot crazier in that regard. I was going out and I would always say I was collecting lore. You know, I was kind of like my Chelsea lately. Yes. You were canceled. That's funny because today when we shoot Brand Safe, that was one thing I wanted

to talk to you a lot about is just all of the different reinventions and rebirths you've had and how you, and if you hold hands with all of these different eras that you've had and stuff because I find that very interesting. And that's how I feel now that I'm in this rebirth, but I could have never gotten here without that girl. And she was very messy. And she did a lot of things that I need to make reparations for probably until the day I die. Right. But it was very entertaining and it was an amazing time. And then just towards the end of it, I did. I got sober. I fell in love. I was talking about green juice and like my IBS and like I didn't have the interesting chaotic things to bring to the table as much. You know? And Brooke my co-host, same thing. She got

married and it just, it became this like beautiful ending where we ran off into the sunset and it was time to end it. You know what I mean? And it was just, it was also in LA every week. It was a different lifestyle. Like now I'm kind of shooting everywhere and stuff. Just doing something more, I guess, on brand with my. lifestyle now. You know, I was holding on to like a version of myself that I needed to, you know, part ways with. Well, I think that's a natural evolution of somebody who's actually like, you know, thinking about life instead of just like having life happen. Yeah. Wow. That was really sweet. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. Like we grow up and like if you're not growing up at some point, it's not interesting. I agree. I think and for so long again, I was tied to this idea where if I grew or if I was doing anything with substance or intelligence that I was,

no one would be interested. And it got to this point where I was like, that's just not true. And my fans are amazing for that, for showing up for me no matter what. It did. It started to feel kind of regressive and repetitive and like just the drama-centric stuff also can be very taxing on your mental health if you're not wanting to stand in the line

of fire, if you're not wanting to deal with all the discourse and the clips and the commentary and stuff. And yeah, It came to this like very poetic end. Great. I still can't shut the fuck up. Yeah. So here I am continuing to, yeah.

So what's the story with your parents? God, do you have a, do you have a week? I mean, just give us the sound bites. I know, let's see. I just, like, just give me a clip or two. I didn't know this. Well, I just, I didn't know this about you. And I was reading your notes and it said you haven't spoken to them since you were 13.

And I was like, oh. Are you moved out when you were 13, right? Yes. I wish I could have fucking moved out when I was 13. I wanted to move out when I was 13. I wanted to move out when I was six. That is why I resonate with you so hard. I think that when you speak even about your thoughts as a child,

especially in this last book, you did a lot of that. You know what I mean? You talk about how you knew you were destined for first class. You were destined for a different life that they weren't going to necessarily do it for you. And you knew that from a very young age, which I feel like a lot of people don't necessarily grow up like that. There is, they have much more naivity to their childhood. You know, and I feel like I was very similar to you in that regard, where I

woke up in this world. I was born into it and I was like, oh, you people are fucking morons. The idea that your parents are, like, I definitely never felt unsafe in my home, you know, it wasn't like that. But the idea that my parents were the ones that were going to take care of me was ludicrous. Like, I was like, this is not a possibility. Exactly, Chelsea. And I think that is the difference. I think my home was also a very unsafe home. It was very turbulent in a lot of ways. I mean, my dad was in the Vietnam War. He had a lot of PTSD. They were both older, born in the 50s, just very out of touch and with everything. And my mom was very depressed and just the, I hate to call her the common case of a victim

of lots of failed abusive relationships, but that's what it was, you know? And yeah, from a very young age, I knew like this is just not going to fit, you know? And my best friend's family was very kind to start taking me in from 13 on and just giving me the good meal on the table, showing me that a holiday is something you should celebrate, showing me that there can be happy moments and that love is unconditional. My parents were also extreme narcissists and narcissistic abuse is also just very hard to go through because you're never going to get the accountability or the apology or the growth. Yes, exactly.

And it eventually got to a point I think where it just continued to snowball and I realized I was, because I spent a lot of my childhood, I guess, trying to make them into something better, like hoping, living on this edge of hope that they would wake up one day and grow. and eventually it was just like, this isn't going to happen, and I have to go no contact for my mental health. That was right after they sued me. That was kind of like a big catalyst. What did they sue you for?

Slander and defamation. Because you were talking about them publicly? Yes, and I had had an MTV show, and on the reality show, I was kind of detailing what my childhood was like. And that was super hard for me because I was like, not only was I telling the truth, I was telling one one thousandth of the truth, you know, so it was a cash grab. And it was one of those things where it was like,

and that was just a, the thousandth time where that was all I felt like. You know what I mean? Was a check to them and, you know, they wanted to take credit for all of my success and we made you. And if anything, everything I was was to spite them for so long and was to be nothing like them, I guess, you know? And yeah, eventually it had to be no contact just for my mental health. Good for you. And thank you. I think so many people, you know, they want to argue that, right? Because they don't understand. They want to be like, but it's your blood and it's your parents. And I always just try to tell people it's like, if someone is no contact with their family,

it means they have tried everything. Like that's never, it's not option one. You know what I mean? You try and you try and you try and you fail. And I don't know, now I've finally made a lot of peace with that. I think for a while I was drinking about that. I think for a while I was angry. And I think I got to a full point of just empathy

that they weren't that generation too. Like mental health was not a thing for their generation and just so many different things. It's just also a nice lesson. to talk about and to think about, because you've got me thinking about all the different ways in which you can find parents in life. It's so true. And like mothers, parents. Like, I feel like I mother a lot of young people in my life happily.

Like, I love it. I want to, you know? Like, I want to be a big sister or however these girls in my life see me. It's like, I want to be there and, like, fill in the gaps because I know so many people who have parented me that are not my parents. Yes. And my siblings very much so, parented me growing up. And it's like, it can come from anywhere.

And it's very nice to be able to, because it's such a struggle to let go of the expectation of your parents treating you the way that you see other parents treat their children in happy homes. Speak that truth, Chelsea. It's very true. I mean, I think that I always describe it as a void that I eventually had to make friends with, right? Like I think for so long it was this void that I was trying to fill. And I was just trying to fill it and fill it and fill it.

But it was endless, you know? And eventually it was like, yes, if, right? If right now I walked outside and I saw a dad teaching his little girl on a bike, I'm going to be like, I was robbed of that. I never got that. There's still going to be moments where I'm aware of that in the void. But I think that the peace came from stopping trying to fill it and, you know, being grateful for the things that I had in other avenues and the people who did step in.

Even when you text me and you call me oopsie or you call me poopsie and I know what that means to you. Like, I'm so grateful for all of the people in my life who have stepped up and shown me love and someone I can look up to and just family and just all the different things. You know, I feel so blessed and I always try to be the poster child for that to like, you know, for the girls out there who are like, I'm going no contact. I'm like, you will find a new normal that fulfills you. Yeah. What is one of the things that you've learned about yourself that you're really proud of

through getting sober? Like, I'm sure you're really proud of that, right? Yeah. And for so long, I think I couldn't even, I was so self-deprecating. And I think that a lot of times to the world wanted to be deprecating me. The world wanted to be kind of saying these awful things about me. So I almost was living in this mindset where it's like, I'm going to get to it before them. You know what I mean?

I'm going to get to the self-deprecating punchline before them. And it was, it ended up obviously. And then with the drugs and the alcohol and all of that spiraling into a lot of self-hatred. And this is kind of the first time in my life where I'm like, I might still be a little messy, but I can be a role model. And I am proud of myself. And I am resilient as fuck. And I did, like, build all of this for myself with no fucking help.

I made it out of, I was dealt the shittiest fucking hand ever. And you lived in Vegas growing up. I knew the Texas Holdermans before I knew the ABCs. Like, come on. Growing up in Vegas is something that I find unfathomable. I mean, I read Andre Agassi's book. I don't know. Have you ever read that book?

No, but I will now. He grew up in Vegas. And I just, I found that book to be so depressing. Well, on so many levels, because his father forced him to be a tennis player when he didn't want to and bought a house and built a tennis court in the back. But Vegas just is like to me, and I guess, you know, I don't live there, so I don't know. And I can't speak from experience. But it just seems dire. No, you hit the nail on the head, Chelsea.

I think by six years old, I was like, why the fuck are we raising kids here? You know what I mean? As a child, I was well aware because obviously there are nice on-cloth. There are the children who were born in Summerlin, and they played tennis their whole life, and they'd go out to the desert, and they went on family trips to California. I'm sure they had a great fucking life, okay? But the rest of us who were living in poverty in Las Vegas, it is dark. I think it's a city that runs on, like, sex and money and alcohol and all of the dark things in the world.

I think I really, a lot of even in writing my book right now, I'm almost writing about how my morals were this reverse thing. Like I was taught horrible morals. And I was taught that like you get what you want by lying and manipulating and scamming and like just all of these things. You know what I mean? And that addiction and substances and that was all normal to cope. And it was almost my life has been this big thing of unlearning what being brought up in that environment taught me, I guess. Did you have siblings? No.

No, only child. Even more depressing. So depressing. And that was, that's why I'm so grateful for Amari, my best friend. because, you know, he taught me what a sibling is and they taught me what sibling love is. And, yeah, I imagine that my life would be entirely different if I had a sibling. You know, if I had someone to be like, are you fucking seeing this shit? Yeah, because that's what the thing is about siblings, I think.

And I so heard Gabor Maté, or he's this Canadian psychologist. And he talks about, like, no two siblings have the same experience. And I would argue against that. Like, my brothers and sisters commiserate all the time about what it was like. They're the only other people that know exactly what it was like growing up in my household, which was, like, we all had a different set of parents because we were different ages, but we all had the same set of circumstances. Yes.

And it was ridiculous, like, you know, they didn't pick us up. They, like, they, you know, there was never going to be like breakfast on the table. Yes, yes. Like, you know, there was just like everyone, fend for yourself. And it's a nice, like, it's a nice bond to know, you know. Because, and also as we age, you kind of become the opposite or the same of what you grew up with. Mine was immediately like I am, first of all, I need a housekeeper. Like, you guys are, it's.

We need a cleaning lady. We need a housekeeper and I need her to live with me. You know what I mean? Like, that was the first thing that I needed. I needed a brand new car because my dad was a used car dealer. I'm like, I'm never driving a used car once I have enough money. You are so relatable. It was just all of the things that I found to be an ick were it.

Do you feel like some of your siblings ended up being more similar? My sister's a little bit, yeah. I have two, I have a brother and a sister who are a little bit more like, scrappy. You know? They're just kind of like hustlers. I mean, we're all hustlers. I'm a hustler for sure.

But they hustle in a way that is just kind of like smacking things together and like, you know, on the move, kind of fast and loose. And I'm just like, I have that too. But I, it's mine is a little bit more like I have standards of operation and they're up here. You know what I mean? There's got to be a level of standard of operation for me. Like I don't like anything below that standard. Yeah.

But I love that about it. Especially as I get older. I'm like, I don't have time for that. You know what I mean? I'm too fucking busy. I don't have time for it. And I have no problem saying I have no time for it. But I think that if a man did it, no one would blink.

And you have been the person that has spearheaded that. You've always been that way. You know what I mean? You know what you want and you're going to go get it. And you're not going to fucking apologize for it. Which is so inspiring. It really is. So what do you like when you think about this new podcast and like, you know, like what do you have in mind?

Like, what do you want to do? What do you want to accomplish? I think that. Calling it brand safe, obviously there's some irony there. Of course. You're not safe. Yes, at all. No one's safe.

But at the same time, I am in this new era where I care. And sometimes I understand that maybe I don't need to say the crazy thing that's going to get me in a bunch of trouble. And I'm, you know what I mean? I'm working with companies because they're less disgusted with associating with me. And I think that what I want to do with brand safe really is I want to have a lot of conversations that I've never gotten to have online. I want people to almost feel like they're in my phone and they're in my group chat. And while you are a powerhouse and a celebrity and

amazing and you are coming on today as my first guest, I'm not just trying to have a bunch of back-to-back big names and stuff. I think I want to talk to almost similar to life will be the death of me the way that you really dove into talking to like psychologists and therapists and all those things. I want to do that. I want to have my best friends on and I want to just have the conversations that we have in bed and just like bring people almost even closer into my life. I've been filming a lot of them in Hawaii where I'm just talking about childhood, talking about dating. It's almost like I spent so much time gathering this lore and falling down.

And now I finally have stood up and I want to use what I've learned to help the girlies know that they too can wake up one day and say, I'm brand safe now. And they can wake up one day and reinvent in any way they want, even if people perceive them differently, like that you can carve out your own path. And I'm so brand safe now. Yeah, yeah. That's so true. We have so many similarities in our like, you know, direction. trajectory. That's the word. That's the word that could replace journey. trajectory. Yeah, that's better. That's better. Because we are. We have, like, it's very analogous. Like the partying, da-da-da-da, realizing how you're coming across, feeling a little bit harsh about how you come across, feeling a little bit like, okay, maybe I

need to like pump the brakes on this. Like I totally relate to all of that. And I think that's a very natural thing for anybody in their 20s and 30s to be thinking about it, you know? And to see people on the other side of it and to see people like going through the pain of it's not a breakup with yourself because it's a different version of yourself. But in a sense, you are kind of breaking with your past. And some people get uncomfortable with that.

You know, some fans get uncomfortable with that. I was just at this dinner the other night. And this woman who's pretty famous. producer. She came up to me at this dinner. And I've known her over the years. We've always been cordial and whatever. But I don't know her well. And she came up to me and she sat down next to me. And she's like, I just want to let you know that like I have seen so many changes in you over the course of like the last five, 10 years. She goes, it's really beautiful. Like you've really come into your own and you're just like a total solid like sister woman. I know we have a ton of mutual

friends and I just know like I used to be scared of you. This is a woman who like runs Hollywood by the way. The fact that she's telling me, she used to be scared of me. I'm like, what are you fucking talking about? How iconic. She's like, but I used to be just, you were just not, you know, like not easy to be around. Or it's like, I was scared to be around you. Not scared of you, but like scared to be around you. I relate.

Unsafe, maybe, you know? I definitely heard that before. People are like, I feel unsafe around Chelsea. Yes. And I'm like, what do you think I'm going to do? And they're like, we don't know what you're going to do. That's what's so scary. I couldn't relate more.

And it is, yeah, it's really nice. I feel like I've been getting a lot of. of that lately too. And you're right. It's not, it's not a breakup, but it is, it is a rebirth. And I was equating it. This is so Hawaiian of me. But like, I felt like I was like a crab who like lost this shell. It doesn't fit anymore. And I'm like kind of looking for my new one that fits, you know. And then that transitional period in between those two, it can be really, you're naked. Yeah, it's quite uncomfortable because you're kind of trying on your different versions of yourself. Yes. As I've said before that, and you're like, is this anyone, do I like me? Do I like me?

Yes. And, and then there's a period also. also of self-consciousness that I had never experienced before therapy. I became super self-conscious for about three to four years. And I didn't like that feeling at all. I relate. And I was like, is this how I am now? And it finally subsided. It went away. I am no longer self-conscious. Because I was like, shit, I don't like this. And this is how most people I think feel. You know, when people always say, like, why are you so confident? I'm like, I don't know. I'm just this way.

I don't have like an elixir, but I mean, I can try and help you. But when I felt that way for a few years, I was like, oh, this isn't, this is an uncomfortable feeling. Yeah, that's what it was. Second guessing your interactions and thinking, overthinking about what you said, how you said it. Whereas before I would just say something and fucking forget about it for two years and then find out five years later, I totally offended somebody.

Chelsea, I literally, I couldn't agree with something more because it was like, I think I lived my life up until the past three years, not even knowing what the word anxiety meant. And like sometimes I will look back and almost romanticize that, you know? It's like, it's awful and you are making reparations forever and you're saying all the crazy things and stuff, but anxiety and I had never met. You know what I mean? I was just living no holds barred, going 100 miles per hour. It didn't fucking matter who I pissed off. It didn't fucking matter what I said. Like, either I'd drink it away or I would just keep doing it. It didn't matter. And then it was like almost across this transitional phase,

I did start to be like, oh my God, I need to think before I speak and then almost over correcting. I think there was a second where I swung the pendulum so far and I'm like, okay, I'm acting like fucking Mother Mary. Like I don't, it doesn't need to be that.

You know what I mean? You are opinionated and you are loud and it's like, it's finding this middle ground and there is a lot of anxiety and perception and thinking about all of your past selves and like I guess almost regret as well. Like it's balancing all these.

things out, you know? And it's, it is an anxious period. Yeah, yeah. I love that. I love that. Okay, we're going to take a break and we'll be right back with Tanna. Manjo. Pride is like love. You feel it in your heart. IR. Radio. Canada's number one streaming app for radio and podcasts, including IHart Pride Canada, your favorite hits and must have party bangers, plus personalized and curated playlists like back in the day pride. Come together. Celebrate Love. Take pride with you. Any time anywhere. Just ask your smart speaker to play IHeart Pride Canada.

Stream us on your phone. Or listen now at iHeartRadio.ca. In the moment, it felt like it was going on forever. I didn't think I was going to live. I was terrified. There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me.

That was your first murder case? Yes, sir. Fair to say this was the biggest case of your career? Yes. Sir. Rape a murder for a child. Just as bad as it gets. I would think so.

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It is a carac. Wow. Listen to learning to be human on IHard Radio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And we're back, you guys, with Tana Majel. Perfect. It honestly makes me so uncomfortable. Like, because I'm so, even in Vegas, you're like, Tana, get over here. Like, and I just, I can't wait to unpack that trip on my podcast.

That was when I was. I met Cowboy. So that's what I wanted to know is if it was that trip or the trip after. It was the trip you were, because we stayed the night after, remember? My Karen, my assistant was with us and that whole group of girls. Yes. And we went to Alanis.

Yeah, and then we went to Alonis. And then after Alonis, I went back to the casino because all those girls had lost my money. I lost like three grand. Including me, I lost your money. That's okay. But that's what it's for. And then I came back the next night, I was like, let me go win that money. back. I know I can win. And so I

went back with my friend Terrence from New York. And you met Terrence too, right? Yeah. Was Terrence the guy you were absolutely hazing? You kept telling him to get up because he was bad luck. Oh no, that was someone else. Like this poor man just trying to gamble and Chelsea's like, get the fuck out of my face.

Someone else needs to be in your fucking seat. But it's also, you have this like cunty power where when you're not the person being hazed by her, you're like oh my God, you feel like her little teacup Chihuahua, you're like, yeah, get him. He was throwing the table off. It wasn't Terrence, I don't think.

It was some other guy, but I can't remember who it was. But he was throwing the table off because he didn't know how to gamble. And I was like, just get out of here. So, but the next night when I did, that was the night I met Cowboys. So you were there. So you were there with me. So your energy helped me make my Cowboys. That makes me so fucking happy.

I want to hear all about this. You guys are very cute, by the way. Thank you. Like just such an attractive couple together. You should have seen us in Istanbul together. Everyone would walk down the street and people would be like, Hollywood, Hollywood. I mean, they don't have that accent, but they were screaming Hollywood.

And I was like, God, we really stand out like two sore thumbs. And it's like, well, because no one is blonde there. You know what I mean? You think he's here to stay? No, I don't think anyone is here to stay. But I assume that he is a man who kind of owns that and like knows how you operate and is enjoying it. He's definitely seeing how I operate and he knows it could be over in a second.

But I think that's hot too when someone can kind of be like, I know that. but I'm here. I'm here for the ride. Exactly. And I'm down. Yeah. And I mean, I always ask you about this. Like, we know that you, I don't know.

I don't want to say you don't love, not monogamy, but like you're not looking for like long term forever partner. I mean, I'm not opposed to monogamy. Like if I'm in a relationship, it's not like I'm having, if I'm in a relationship that's defined as a relationship, like we're seeing each other. Yeah. It's not like I have to go fuck a bunch of other guys. Yeah.

But if I'm casually sauntering throughout the world and meeting people in different places, those aren't relationships. those are casual encounters. Yes. And even if I see somebody a couple, cowboy, I'm seeing cowboy right now. That's exclusive. But, I mean, that's about all I can really fucking handle.

And it's long distance, which is my favorite. I like long distance. Yes, you need distance. Yeah, I need distance. And everyone needs distance from me as well. When I'm working and when I'm here in town, I don't have time for any fucking distraction. Like, I really don't.

I just want to hit the ground running, get all my shit in a row so that I can go and relax. Where does he live? He lives in Florida. No shit. A big problem. And why...

Have you gone to Florida? No. Do you think across the duration of this relationship you will even ever set foot in his parts? It's unlikely, but possible. Is it like a Tampa, like sad sad? I don't want to say.

I don't even want to say where it is. I don't love Florida. My feelings about Florida have nothing to do with Floridians. They have to do with the politics of the state. And for some reason, even though there are states that are commensurate, it or worse than Florida. Florida sticks out to be like a sore thumb of just dysfunction. They're burning books. I hate all that shit. I hate the politics. I hate DeSantis.

Texas, I feel like is a hopeful place. Like Texas, I feel like we can flip at some point. And that's why I still fuck with Texas. No, Florida's staying the same. Florida is just not open carry. I don't like that. I don't like, yeah. Even the Miami of it all. Like those people, those men especially. It is just, it's lawless in the worst way. What about your guy? Is he permanent? Is it what permanent? Like, am I.

Are you engaged? I'm not engaged. Would you get engaged? I would get engaged. He's pretty permanent to me. Yes. He is, honestly. I think that I used to very much so be a grass is always greener type of girl.

One foot in the door, one foot out the door with a lot of people. And when I really look at him, when I really put it all out on paper and Lord knows I have, like I'm making a Venn diagram. I'm trying to convince myself and like, whatever. When I really put it all out there, I don't think I would ever find anyone better. And I think that that's like, that's what it is for me. You know what I mean? I'm like, you're the best.

And I'm fucking love you. And so, do you think you'll get married? Honestly, yes. I think that it'll be Tanna style. It'll be like a Vegas. I have to be there for your wedding. I would be so excited. I think I'll invite you to the Hawaii one because I think the Vegas one would just gross you out.

Yeah, I think so too. It would make you really sad. Yeah. My actions across. Across all across the board. It's like, okay, we just got married. Can we go gamble? Like that's going to be my energy for that one.

Well, that's fun. I'll come for the gambling part. Yeah, that's true. Okay, well, that's really sweet. I'm happy for you. I'm happy for you. Well, thank you. And I feel like, even to see,

you've been sending me so many cute photos of you guys and stuff, you're very, like, proud of this relationship, which I love to see. Well, I like to be representative of what, I like to be honest about what's happening in my life. Yes. So, like, I didn't hard launch a relationship. I just was throwing in pictures of him in my carousels

because that's somebody I was spending a lot of time with. So I also find it. weird when like you you know like to go on a trip with somebody for two weeks and then post 20 pictures of yourself alone without the person is kind of a big fuck you yeah I agree you know what I mean so like I don't I'm not trying that like people are like well didn't you learn your lesson with joe coy no I didn't learn my lesson because I'm going to be honest about my life I love that as well I don't care if we break up that's that's then we break up that doesn't matter about you know what I mean I really like that energy I feel like I see a lot in this space people have one bad public or not

even bad, just public breakup and they write it all off forever. And it's like, I don't know, I could never do that. So I guess I resonate more with your side. Like I'm, I suck at keeping things to myself. Yeah. And I'm not, I don't take things so seriously that I can't share them. Yeah. It's a relationship. It's like, it may last and may not. Who knows? We'll find out. What do you like the most about him? What's like, what is? He has a great voice. And I love that. I like a real strong male voice. Like deep voice. Yeah, deep voice. Haven't you met him? No? No, not yet. Oh, okay. How do you two know each other too? Not to go.

Internet, chocolate singles.com. I love that. Yeah, we were both looking for black men. I'm going to tell people that's where we met, honestly. Yeah, well, you should actually. They'd probably fucking believe you. What were we saying? Oh, what I like about it? I mean, you know, I don't know. There's a lot of a like about him. He's very gentle. He's a gentleman. And I was like, I was pretty grossed out by men. I have to say, straight men in general, have been pretty disappointing of late.

And this whole political backdrop is just representative of where men have fallen short by not protecting our rights, not protecting the people's, like, you know, rights that don't impact them directly. LGBTQ, trans, black, you know, people of color. Like, white guys just seem to not know how to, like, organize on behalf of other people. Yes. Because their rights are never really infringed upon. So fucking real.

And you're like, hello. So it was very refreshing for me to meet a man that saw me. and I was a hot mess the night he saw me too. I was stoned and drunk and gambling and running that table. When we left there, there was a line waiting at that blackjack table because we had turned it into a fucking gold wine.

I was betting, I was splitting twos against a king and winning. I was like, watch this. And the attitude you get, it's a birthday attitude. I was on Jimmy Kimmel, and he was saying, I was telling him the story

because he didn't know, I was seeing someone, and then it came up about the travels. He's like, who'd you go away with? And I told him the story about how I met him. And he goes, you honestly sound like James Bond.

He's like, you sound like a female James Bond. And I was like, that's really fucking funny. But yeah, I like that he can take it because it's a lot. I'm a lot. I'm like you. Like, good, good luck. I agree with that. Good fucking luck.

And I think I, I don't know if you ever, I don't know if you relate to this, but like a lot of times in relationships I was trying to be a little bit different or just like maybe dial it back a little bit. And then it was like this person is not falling in love with me. And then it's like, I'm presenting them for that, but I caused that. And I hate being fraudulent. Like, I, when I'm not real, I'm like, you're gross. Like, I hate the fake voice.

I hate fake enthusiasm. I hate, I just want to be real. And like, so it's nice to be with someone and be real. And be like, yeah, I'm a bitch too. Yes. Also, like. And know that they're in it for all of that. Yeah.

You know what I mean. I'm moody. Sometimes it's going to be good. And sometimes it's going to not be great. So that's important to know. Come on, cowboy. Yeah. giddy up.

All right. So let's get to the advice portion. Yes. Yes. Our first question comes from Naomi. And she says... Naomi Campbell? It is, in fact. She's always asking for advice.

She always needs some help. So she is 32 and says, Dear Chelsea. Late last year, I underwent full nasal reconstruction to correct poor technique from my previous nose job. Leading up to the surgery, I was very sexually active, driven by a place of scarcity and a fear of being alone. As a trans woman, I've grown accustomed to the mindset that I'm only valued for sex and that love is scarce due to the discrimination women like myself often experience. I can't recall the last time I chose a period of abstinence to focus on myself, but I feel that this healing period is the right time.

I found myself falling into promiscuity as part of my identity due to a deep need for intimacy in the past. This has also led me to endure toxic men, yet I continued to pursue them. My question for you is this. How do you cope with loneliness when you choose abstinence? to focus on self-healing. What benefits can come from taking a break from men to heal one's broken parts? It feels like it will take forever to heal and I don't want to be alone. Please feel free to be direct and honest.

Your insights mean a lot to me with lots of love and a bandaged nose Naomi. Hi, Naomi. Hi, how are you guys? We're great. This is Tanna, Manjo. Hi. She's our special guest. Hi, Tana.

Hi. First of all, I just want to say. Sorry for the barking. You're fine. Normally I'm barking. So I'm coughing usually. That was also just so profound, so well written. It was.

I mean, first of all, I love that you're thinking about all of these things because you have such a huge opportunity right now by taking a break and being abstinent and actually like looking into yourself for self-love. Like that is exactly what every woman should be doing at a certain point in her life. And this is your point. This is a huge growth opportunity. You're going to have like a really good time by yourself. Being alone doesn't mean that you're lonely.

you can start all these new like habits and patterns that are going to set you up for success for the rest of your life. You know, you can wake up every day and first of all you should be writing down what you're experiencing through this and writing down your commitment to yourself, reminding yourself each day, I am committed to being alone and providing myself with the love I need to be a loving individual in a relationship in the future. That's what you're doing. You're investing in yourself during this period of time. And that's, it is a completely winning situation for you. Nobody's going to come in and fuck your shit up. You're there to like restore and like sanctify the person that you are so that you become a tree that no one is able to push around or push over.

That's the goal. You're also going to enter whatever does eventually happen next. I thought you were going to say, Ari's rising. You're also about to enter, this is a psychic reading. You're about to enter an Ari's my own face. Will I ever. But whatever you do eventually enter, you'll enter as a completely different person.

Therefore, attracting completely different people. Therefore, garnering new experiences, hopefully more positive ones because of all of the self-work and the level of toleration that you will now have.

You know, you're not going to be so tolerant of people's bullshit or just wanting a sexual identity from you and stuff. I think that the tree analogy is, Chelsea really hit the nail on the head there. You know,

you're going to be someone that no one can fuck with. because of this period of time. Thank you. I really appreciate that. It's really hard to cope with being lonely when you're, like I said, when you're trans and you want affection and love. And then I don't know.

It's difficult. You know what I mean? I don't know what you mean because I'm not trans, but I understand the concept of loneliness. And I don't want to pretend that I can experience what you've experienced. But I will say to you, like, you're not the only person that feels lonely. you're not alone. And I think that you should, A, like,

what practices do you have set in place today? Like, what do you journal? Do you have a gratitude journal? Like, do you meditate? What do you do? I actually do stand up comedy to help. I laugh at myself all the time. I say having a nose job is a Jewish rite of passage.

And, you know, I'm able to find catharsis in that. That's great. Whenever I'm joking about, like, you know what I mean? Yeah. And I think you can add some things. That's awesome, first of all. that's fucking hard to do stand up. It takes a lot of balls, I know.

And Tanna, don't you do stand up too? I'm trying. I'm trying. And even that's, she's right. Like you are doing something that is so hard to do that so many people can't do. And I hope that you start to find community in that as well and the amount of people in the audience and stuff that just make you feel seen and are grateful that you're there.

Because hearing you say, I'm lonely, I also just want to be like, we are our words, right? And the more that you are driving home, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, of course you are believing that. You know what I mean? Whereas Chelsea has such a good point where it's like, this might be a period of your life that you are navigating more alone than you've ever navigated any other period of your life. But you're also filling your time in such a good way. You're also filling your time with the passion that you have. And you're also like maybe trying to make friends in that community and putting forth actions to build a future for yourself.

where you feel less alone. And I think the second you stop saying, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lonely. And you start saying like, I'm a fucking powerhouse. I don't need anybody, but I'm going out to do my own thing. And I'm building a less lonely life for myself.

You'll start to believe that more and more. Like, unfortunately, some periods of our life are kind of lying to ourselves. I think that's great. What she just said is so beautiful. You are building a reservoir. Do you know the analogy that Brunei Brown talks about with the marble jar? She talks about friendships.

And like, when you have a relationship with someone, like say, you know, me and my sister, we have so many marbles in the marble jar that it would take something really crazy to take any marbles out. There's so many there that even if something terrible happened, only a couple marbles would be taken out and it would still be forgivable. You know what I mean? Like, we would still be together because we've invested so much into each other. There's been so many exchange of marbles. I want you to like think of that about yourself. Like every day that you spend alone, first of all, you should wake up and run.

write down, I love myself. I am incredible. I am capable. I am building a better life for myself. I am going to be grateful for this time that I have alone. Or I am grateful. Just start saying it like in the present. Everything that you're grateful for. And I have a gratitude journal in my phone that pops up every morning and night and sometimes I don't do it. But I usually do. And it is a nice reset. It takes five minutes. But it's a nice thing to write down three or four things that you're grateful for each day to look outside and be like, I'm grateful for the weather. I'm grateful for that tree that I get to look out out. You know, that's behind you. I don't know if that is a tree or maybe that's your hair. I can't tell. But. That's my hair. Oh, okay. Be grateful for your hair.

You know, be grateful for all of the little things that we don't kind of take into account. This is the part of like a human experience is to really, really focus on the stuff that you have the time to focus on the stuff that we don't pay attention to every day. So, here. huge opportunity for you. Like this is beautiful and this can be transcendent for you. So I do want you to develop and like get into patterns that you aren't in yet. You know, I think you should try to meditate. I think you should download the calm app and and just do five to 10 minutes a morning. Whether you like it or not, just commit to it and do that for like at least 30 days and just see how you feel. Journal about it after. You don't have to sit there journaling for two hours every day,

but just say, okay, I just meditated. I didn't feel anything. I'm going to try again tomorrow. I just meditated. I still don't feel anything. I'm going to try again. Whatever it is. Or I just meditated, I felt something.

I'm not sure what I felt, but I'm going to try again tomorrow. Start to set patterns up for yourself. They may seem stupid or trivial or like it's not going to have an impact. Or if you try it a couple times and you don't feel something significant, you're going to get like, oh, no, you need to commit to yourself right now. You know, like I want you to do all of these new habits, whatever three you choose, whether it's journaling, like do a gratitude thing in the morning, a meditation, and something at night where you're like, thank you so much for this day. This is what I learned. This is something I want to remember about today. That's one of the prompts in my gratitude journal says, what is something you want to remember for today? And I always makes me think, oh, yeah, show up. You know, whatever it is. Like, yeah, I showed up for this when I wasn't in the mood or I removed myself from the situation when I wasn't in the move. Like something I learned that helped me today. Reading for me is always a good resetter.

If I could sit down and read for an hour, you know, get some books and fucking read some books to get yourself out of your own head and into someone else's story. Also, I will just say looking at you, you are absolutely beautiful. Okay. You are already a new bitch with the new nose, okay? But you are genuinely about to be in so many ways. And like Chelsea said, I can't relate to your scenario specifically. but what I will say is my best friend in the world, she's trans.

And I watched her go through something really, really similar to you, where she was kind of leaning into the promiscuous nature, and then therefore she was attracting people who were only attracted to that. And it felt very transactional, and she was leaving these situations feeling either unsafe or just lower about herself, et cetera. And then I watched her do the same thing where she was like, I'm cutting off anyone on this low vibration who just wants me for this. I'm going to be lonely until I have to be lonely.

She worked on her business. that's where the stand-up comes in. She worked on things she was passionate about. And she met this man that I would die for. He is so incredibly just kind, accepting, funny, smart. He's proud of her in every room. And she never thought she would, you know?

And it was the second she became this person where she believed she deserved that and she set these boundaries and these standards, there it was all along. But she was never going to attract that person on that low vibration, you know? So I just want to say, I've seen it personally. And I believe in you to do it.

I really do. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Naomi. That doesn't mean I'm not going to have anything like in the future, right? What do you mean? Like hookups and getting together with guys and stuff.

Oh, girl. You're about to levitate in ways you never knew. Are you kidding me? I think, I mean, you'll see how much more fulfilling it is. I think I had a lot of transactional sex in my life as well. When I was finally like making love to someone and like knew that they cared about me more as more than just a set of holes. I was like, wow, this is, this is amazing.

I think that is the difference. You go from fucking to making love, which is a kind of corny thing to say, but it's true. It's the worst thing ever to say, but also like you're levitating. I promise. Yeah, yeah, you are.

Like, you are investing in this time that you're spending right now. You are investing in your future self. And you start to look back at all the times where you were just giving your energy away to these lizards. And you're like, oh my God, I'm so happy that I'm this energy exchange

now is mutual and valid and I'm not going to look back one day with like disdain and disgust at it, you know? Yeah. And Naomi, I also want to say you have value for who you are, regardless of them placing value on you. You have value because of who you are. So I want you to be telling yourself that as well. Thank you guys so much. And Chelsea, I'll see you in Chicago and April.

I'm so excited. Oh, awesome. I love that. Okay, great. I'll see you then. You're going to die. She's the best. Keep us posted.

Okay, Naomi. Thank you. I will. Thank you guys so much again. Okay, love you, Naomi. Bye, gorgeous. Love you too, Tanna. Bye.

Love you. Okay. We're going to take a break and we'll be right back. Experience. You and a pal in Montreal and Oceaga with four nights at residents in downtown Montreal. Flights from Porter Airlines, two weekend gold tickets and $1,000 of cash. Please love me. Lord.

Zara Larson. Tim McGray. Somer. 21 pilots and more download iHeart radio listen to iHeart new music for 10 minutes and enter to win osiaga 2026 every day you listen is another chance to win in the moment it felt like it was going on forever i didn't think i was going to live i was terrified there was no anything inside those eyes they turned black it scared the hell out of me that was your first murder case

yes sir fair to say this was the biggest case of your career yes sir rape the murder for a child is bad as it gets I would think so evil wake up I'm the one that saw the murder take place by crevette and de pippo

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on IHard Radio Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast Okay

and we're back with Anna Majo The message Okay we have a question about

putting your job to become an astrologer or threesomes. Threesums. I also pick three subs. All right. This one is just an email. But Natasha says,

Dear Chelsea, I'm struggling a little with my desire for sex. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. And while our relationship is amazing and that sex is great, I find myself wanting it more often than he does. Recently, after kissing a few girls, I've been in the mood for a threesome. I know my boyfriend is open to the idea, but I'm unsure the best approach regarding the person and setting. Should we consider someone unknown, like meeting someone on vacation? Or is it better to choose someone we know, perhaps a neighbor, or someone we meet at a bar in the city? I'm particularly

concerned about finding a situation that won't jeopardize our relationship. Not a neighbor. I literally, that's not a neighbor. Not a neighbor. You're going to hate getting the mail. Any advice you could offer would be great, Natasha. I like threesome's too. And I think you should go and find someone at a bar and have it be like an anonymous person and just see if you're up for that or like if they're up for that, you know, and you guys have to like do that together so that there's trust and like understand what the situation is before you go into it. Make sure that you guys are like spelling out the boundaries for each other. I also think the anonymity of the person kind of does create a more secure foundation. You always hear the stories of it being the neighbor and the

coworker and then there's problems and I'm not sitting here. I don't know your man. He might be amazing, you know what I mean? But just still, I think that the safest route is the anonymity. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone you never have to see again if you don't want to. Yes, exactly. And then you decide how you like that experience and what you learned from it together and if it was fulfilling or if it was just like a fantasy. But like there's nothing wrong with a threesome. Like there's no, I don't have any judgment towards that. Like I get it. All right. Go for it, Natasha. And it's also sexy, you know? It's kind of sexy. Yeah. And like, there's no harm in trying something and then deciding that you don't like it. But the spelling out of

the boundaries is also so important. Yeah. All right, Tanna, I love you. Her new solo podcast is called Brand Safe. It'll be out when this is on. Please go listen to it. Where do people listen to it? YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music.

It's going to be everywhere. And I'm so excited to have you on today. You were my first guest. Yay! I am so, so excited. We're going. Where are we going? I don't fucking know where we're going.

To be honest with you. Okay, well, great. I love you. And I'm so happy you're here. And I'm so happy I met you in Burbank. Or even though I didn't meet. Oh, this. The best part about the story is I, so we didn't even meet then.

I was going to say we'll start and end with this story. Yes, yes, because we didn't even meet then because I got home. I have a publicity team, a PR team, my favorite people in the fucking world. And Paul and Alec are two gay guys who work on my PR team. You need gays on a PR team. Of course. And they're young, so they are always with it. They understand what's going on.

And they were like, oh my God, this woman, you were posting stories about seeing me at the airport. And they're like, this girl, Tana, she's like a huge influence. influencer Chelsea, you would love her. She, like, loves you. And she's posting about you. She's crying. She's got hysterical. Because I didn't know if I made the biggest mess.

I ultimately decided because also I felt like it was so interesting. Just carmically, universally, our seats weren't like next to each other. Like just we both booked them and then like Chelsea's in this seat. I'm in this seat. It's a jet suite plane. We are like this Starbucks cup is what fits in between us. Like we are so close in proximity. And then ultimately I decided I feel like I parasocially know.

Elsie Handler pretty well. I know I don't think that she would live for this, that she was, that she is like, yes, it's nighttime. We're on this plane. Like, please bother me. Like, I know that, and I was like, if it's meant to be, it will be. And then I went home and obviously I can't shut my trap. So I made 50 TikToks about it because I thought that would be the end of it. My best friend even texted me on the way here and he was just like, how cool is it that like, go tell you on that plane that like you would get to have a day like today. And I appreciate, you're a busy woman, you're a powerhouse. You don't have to do the things. things you do and I think that's what makes it so special is like knowing you don't have to text

me at 3 a.m. a hilarious video about your day. You don't have to, you know what I mean? Give me all this advice walking through life. You don't have to have a whole podcast day with me, but you do it anyways and that's who you are. Thank you, baby. Thank you. Okay. That's enough. That's enough about me. If you want advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of IHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea. on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flash Kadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert,

executive producer Catherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea Live at Chelseahandler.com. Joy is essential and it's also elusive, but now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me,

Hoda Kotby. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Open your free IHeart Radio app. Search Joy 101 and listen now. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby is presented by CVS. There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me. Evil, wake up. I'm the one that saw the murder take place

by crevette and de pipo Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum I said I'm not guilty I'll take it to the grief Listen to the devil's quarry in the Bone Valley Feed On the IHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts Or wherever you get your podcasts

All right listen up The Jonas Brothers here Our podcast is called Hey Jonas We're here since everyone has a podcast We want it to as well And we've had some incredible guests so far And now our good friend, Nile Horn, is joining the show. How's it going, boys?

Hey, Niall. It's the same thing with Slow Hands. Slow Hands is not about anything else, really, is it? You know, or taste so good can be about food. You do the same, Nick, with some of the stuff that you've done. You too, Joe. Drop what you're doing and listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. This Black Music Month, the Questlove show celebrates the visionaries, shaping culture,

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