Dear Chelsea - I Might Be The Problem With Jenna Fischer & Angela Kinsey

Episode Date: November 24, 2022

The Office stars Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey join Chelsea and Catherine this week to talk about working with your best friend, how friendship overcame social anxiety, and why everyone worried about them becoming business partners.  Then: A college grad wonders how to forge a friendship with her ex. And two besties grapple with uploading nudie pics to OF. Get your copy of Angela & Jenna’s new book, The Office BFF’s! * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea. Hi, I have a very exciting announcement, guys. My new special's coming out on Netflix on December 27th, two days after Christmas. So I'm very excited. It's called Revolution. And it is my next...

This is the tour that I've been on. The Vaccinated and Horny Tour, which was just the tour name. The special name is called Revolution. And you'll understand why once you see it. I love that. It's like an evolution from evolution. Yeah. My last special was Evolution, and this special was evolution. And this special

is revolution. And the next special will be devolution. Amazing. I'm so excited to see it. Thank you. I'm so excited. It's I love it. I just I'm so happy with it. I never am able to watch myself do things. It's just very hard to watch myself. But I think I've gotten to a place in my life where I accept it. And I don't annoy the shit out of myself anymore, you know? Well, it's just I haven't seen the special. But the show is very cute. It's very sweet and charming. And I think everybody's going to love that.

Well, that's what everyone thinks of when they think of me is cute, sweet, and charming. So there you go. You hit the nail on the head once again. Exactly. Very on brand. Very on brand. Chelsea, it is Thanksgiving Day. Oh, my goodness.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. I am currently in San Francisco tending to my sister who had a surgical procedure for her back. And so I am playing nurse even though I am not, you know, that great at it. Although I think she's pretty impressed with my performance so far. Or my professionalism since I have so much experience in the medical field and caring for others. Yes. And you can prescribe her drugs. Yes, exactly. And then I could take her drugs. So it works. It's a beautiful revolution. Tracys. Yeah. Yeah. Tracys. Well, I am in Chicago with my husband's family. We usually don't go home for Thanksgiving, but we're doing it. We did it this

year. Oh, well, OK. Yeah. That's exciting. It's all going swimmingly. I bet. I bet it is going swimmingly. We'll save that conversation for off the air. Oh, yes. Just because I'm aware of some of your previous trips. Yes. We have only, unfortunately, met my twin nephews, who are now almost two.

We've only met them once because of pandemic. And then every time we've been home they've had like hand foot and mouth disease they went from that straight into covid and then like norovirus every time we're home we're like foot and mouth monkey pox all the things like we just see these cute babies no bueno yeah but now they're walking so it's all over oh my god they're not even walking yet and they've had all these diseases i know shit oh it's just all it's all happening. Oh my God, they're not even walking yet and they've had all these diseases? I know. Shit. It's just all, it's all happening.

So I'm excited to spend some time with them and snuggle them and pick up something. Yeah, yeah, definitely get ready. You should wear a mask over all of your holes. You don't want to get an ear infection if you know what I'm talking about. I don't know that I do, but I'm excited to explore. Okay, so our guests today, we have two guests. They are co-stars of the show The Office. I guess I should say they were co-stars of the show The Office, but they are real-life BFFs. And they are now co-hosts of

the hit podcast Office Ladies and now co-authors because their new book called The Office BFFs is out now. And their names are Angela Kinsey and Jenna Fisher. Hi, girls. Hi, sorry. I've been sitting here and then I realized that my video was off. Oh, did you already do the interview without us? I did the whole thing. It was great. Okay, well, let's wrap it up then. It was a great interview. Thanks.

It was so great talking with you. Hi. Hi, girls. Girls. Hello. Hello, hello. Coming to us live from Angelus in her garage. Jenna, where are you?

I am in a closet. Oh, okay. That I transformed into a podcasting space. Yeah. I brought a plant in to bring in some oxygen. Yes. I have a hummingbird painting. So, you know, really, we're just sexy and it's all happening with our plants and our hummingbirds.

Very sexual. That was the first thing that I was going to say. I know. We get that a lot. And your background art is very sexual as well. As the person who has to worry about the sound quality, I mean, I'm so happy to hear you're in small spaces with soft things like closets and, you know. Girls, I'm having a podcast room built in my new house, which won't be ready until 2047. So I keep coming to the studio thinking it's temporary. And I'm like, oh, oh, any day now.

And then I've just come to the realization that I will probably never be moving. By the time that house is done, I will have sold it. That is how I feel. We were having to podcast during the pandemic, during the lockdown, when we were in our homes. And so that's when Angela and I started podcasting from our closets. And I ordered the soundproofing thingies, you know, the pads for the walls. And that's sort of how this came about. And now it's great. First of all, I love your podcast. I love that you guys decided to revisit your own show and break it apart. It's very, very entertaining.

And obviously, it's a huge hit. So a lot of people are loving it as well. Now, you guys are really good friends in real life, obviously. Yes. Right? Yeah. Best friends. Best friends.

I love it. We've hit the BFF. We're there. That's our status update. We're at BFF. We're there. That's our status update. We're at BFF. Well, tell us about how that friendship evolved from working together. Because a lot of times when you work on shows or productions, you know, you make good friends. And then it's kind of like sleepaway camp.

You go back to your real lives and then you kind of forget about those people. But you hold on to the memories. That's very true. That's most of the time. Yeah. I actually remember going to sleepaway camp once when I was in fourth or fifth grade. It was Hebrew sleepaway camp. So just to add that little extra nut cluster. Razzle dazzle. And I was so excited. It was just sleepover, so girl time, so many girls. And they were all from my school and none of us

were really close friends. We were all in different social groups. And then we went to sleepaway camp for one weekend. It was just like a one weekend retreat. But we all bonded so much that when we got back to school, I was like, oh my God, we're like, we're all in this new group. And then it just kind of petered out. And I remember feeling so disappointed as a young girl that we couldn't continue that. Well, you know, early in my career, I did this movie Walk Hard with John C. Reilly, and he kind of took me aside midway through. He was very much a mentor to me, just a wonderful, wonderful guide with acting technique and all kinds of things. But about midway through, he just sort of very gently said to me, you know, Jenna, I don't know how to say it, but like, this isn't real life. Life on the set, the friends you're making, the connections you're making here.

This isn't your real life. Your real life is the other thing, not the movie. And I was like, what do you mean? These are my very best friends and they're going to be my very best friends forever and ever and ever. We're bonded for life. And it was such a wake-up call because he was right. And it was a great lesson to learn too, because I think in the entertainment industry, a lot of times, I don't know, the friendships you're making or the bonds you're making on a particular artistic project.

It's really good to remember that you have to really put down roots in your real life. You have to have friendships that aren't associated with the project you're working on. And I guess I'm saying all that and now I'm realizing that my very best friendship is Angela Kinsey, who I met on a set and who is now my business partner. So I don't know, I guess. Well, I think we have a really good balance because I collect people everywhere and I want you all to go with me everywhere. And then I bug you and I text you probably too much and I overshare. And I just want you all to be with me all the time, really. So I think Jen and I are a nice balance like that. She says when we were on set that I just, I talked you into being my friend,

like I just wouldn't stop talking to you. Pretty much. You did. And I'm, I'm more shy. And I have a lot of social anxiety. And so to have this person that was just warm and chatty and open and never stopped talking to me. I just was like drawn to that, like moth to a flame. I was like, yes, this is great. And then, you know, we went through this crazy thing together, this show becoming successful. It was both of our first regular television jobs. And so we were able to navigate all of that together. But more than anything, we were the same kind of person, right, Ange? Like we were Target on the weekends and going to do like, what do you call those where you like paint a picture and drink wine? Wine and canvas night, lady. Wine and canvas night.

We were for it. Sign me up for sip and stitch. We're going to do one. I mean, I just, yeah. No, we both sort of had the same life experience in a way, like our families and how we grew up. And even though I grew up all over and some of the locations weren't the same, sort of the heart of how we related to the world was the same and how we processed the show taking off and how that changed our lives. But one of the things I'm so proud of in our friendship is the commitment we have to our friendship. And it's like any other relationship in your life, the work you put in it is what you get out. And as the show ended and all of a sudden we had this place where we always saw each other and that was gone.

So it was up to us after that. How do we maintain this friendship? How do we keep it going? What does it mean to us? And it's one of the joys of my life, the work we put into it and what we get back from it. And I'm always so thankful for it. Well, talk to us a little bit about about what that commitment means for each of you. Checking in. Really, sharing and sharing. Because I feel like how people grow really close to you

is the shared life experience. And whether or not your journey is the same, you're sharing your life experience. On any day, I know what Jenna's day was like. I know what her week was like. Even when we've been way apart, working, you know, like when, Jenna, when you were in London and I was in Vancouver, I knew the sound her feet made on her walk every day in London. Oh, I love it. And I grew to look forward to it. You know, at first it was annoying. I was like, it was kind of some crunchy rock. But then I was like, oh, I miss that crunchy rock and I need to hear it. But right, Jenna? Like we just, we stay connected. We journal out loud to each other all the time about the big stuff, the small stuff.

All of it is welcome. Yeah, I think a lot of what connects us as friends is sharing the small stuff. And like Angela said, journaling out loud. We used to write each other journal-like emails. And then we moved into audio messages, which is how we do it now. And Angela just audio messaged me about her ceiling today. She had a big water leak. And she gave me all the details.

Guys, the ceiling's going in today. I've been waiting weeks for this. Yes. Because I'm so invested in Angela's ceiling for her. Because we tell each other all the small stuff. Do you guys use Marco Polo? That's a video messaging app. No, I know it.

I know Marco Polo. But we don't use it. Yeah, it sounds like that would be a good app for you too because then you can visually see each other talking wherever you are and then you can show her the ceiling being the installation of the ceiling. Like it's a nice way to check in

with your friends and family when you're on vacation, anywhere really, so they know what you're up to. You don't have to like message back in real time. It's like when you get the message, you message back. I do that with a lot of my friends. It's a pretty great form of communication. It's almost like if you could leave a voicemail when FaceTiming.

Yeah, it's like a FaceTime voicemail, basically. Oh, I'm in, I'm in. What's nice about it is like, well, when I see that come in, I'll wait until I have a minute to digest it. So you can really can accept the message. And there's also sometimes messages where I'm like, you're going to need to make sure no one's around when you listen to this one. Yeah. You know? Those are my favorite.

Yeah, obviously. I like what you're saying about friendship because we've talked about this before, Catherine, about Brene Brown, I think it is, talks about the marble jar and how, you know, things develop and cultivate over time. And it's not about like necessarily instant connections and all of those things because those can be fleeting. It's about time spent, you know, time, quality time spent repetitively, not just a few times or a couple times. It's about all the small moments along with the big moments and the consistency of it that leads to like a real, real worthwhile friendship. I think that's true. I feel like I always know that Jenna's going to show up for me. And I don't know that about

everybody. You know, like everybody. I am someone that I love meeting people and hearing their stories and kind of collecting this group of people. But then you have this small inner circle that you know is going to show up and Jenna's top of the list. And that makes me feel good in the world. That makes me feel safe. And she makes me feel safe a lot. Oh, that's great, Jenna. Oh, well, I mean, that's Angela for me, too. There is an unconditional love that comes with Angela's friendship that makes me feel like I can be the parts of myself that aren't so polished, the parts of myself that I may be ashamed of or embarrassed by. I can make those mistakes with her. And

she doesn't judge. She's there to just love me through even my worst moments. Yeah, I think that's the gift that everybody really wants, right? Is somebody who can see you at your worst and love you nonetheless. And also the lack of judgment is nice because I notice in different dynamics with girlfriends of mine or friends of mine or associates of mine, you know, sometimes I'm very judgmental and sometimes I'm so forgiving, like not even forgiving, is it the right word, but the opposite of being judgmental, you know, generous. Yeah. Just generous of spirit, really like not ever thinking that any of their behavior is ever going to like break us or judging them for it, you know, loving them through it.

So judgmental, like being judgmental is a very tricky kind of balance. Well, for me it is anyway because I used to be super judgmental. And I've tried to tone that down. You know, sometimes I'm very successful and sometimes I'm less successful. Well, that's just everybody, right? I mean, it's like some days I'm like, I'm crushing it today as a human. And then other days I'm like, what a piece of crap. I'm curious, how did you do that, Chelsea? Was that like a conscious decision? Did you decide

to take that on one year as a goal? And like, what are some of the things you did? Well, I went to therapy and realized like, I, you know, I went into like serious therapy for about a year and a half when I just became so angry and kind of like, you know, just I had no patience for people. Everyone annoyed the fuck out of me. I mean, people still really annoy me. I don't know if that's ever going to go away completely, but I have a much more like loving attitude now about people.

And I understand that people go through things, you know, that you don't know anything about. And I just was a little bit up my own ass. So I had to just kind of expand my, my thoughtfulness and really understand that everybody is, is going through something. And most oftentimes you're not going to know what that is. And to be empathetic, which was something I kind of really lacked, empathy, and to cultivate that. The exciting news was that it's possible to cultivate empathy when you are deficient in a category like that. There are skills and ways to remember that, you know, everybody has their own life. Everybody has their own set of problems, their families, their history that you don't know anything about, and to be more patient with people really.

And it feels so good to be able to love someone when they're acting badly. You know what I mean? When somebody feels terrible about the way they're behaving or they're having an outburst, it feels so generous to be able to sit with them and be like, everything's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. And, you know, and so that reaps its own set of rewards, I think. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, I feel like one of the things that, Jenna, I mean, I feel like that you and I have is we can be really honest with each other. And we've given ourselves the room and our friendship to just take it in.

And because it comes from a loving place, it's sort of like that thing you were saying, Chelsea, about like having compassion. And it comes from a loving place. It's sort of like that thing you were saying, Chelsea, about having compassion. And we're not a perfect friendship. We're a working friendship. And we do the best we can. We care for each other. And we always come at it from that space. So I wouldn't want anyone listening to think that it's always been smooth sailing because

anything worth anything takes work. And there's going to be days where you get on each other's nerves and things that you work through as friends. But it's always been just so rewarding that I can go to Jenna with anything and she can come to me and she hears me. And we own whatever part of it we own and then we get past it. And it's something, I don't know, Jenna, it always means a lot to me that I know I can go to you, that I feel so comfortable in our friendship that I can even go to you with things where I'm like, hey, you know what? That bugged me. Or you can do the same and we get through it. Yeah. We've also started conversations like this. Like I've said, hey, I have to talk to you about something. Something's bothering me. And it might be me.

It might be my shit. But can I say it out loud? And maybe we figure it out together. Like what part of it might be you? What part of it is me? Maybe it's all me. Like I'm coming at this, but like I've been holding it for long enough now

and I'm not figuring it out by myself. And so can I just bring it to the friendship? And as soon as I say it, I might feel embarrassed because sometimes that happens. Like as soon as you say it, you see it. And so I am so grateful that our friendship, and our friendship did not start that way. In fact, I almost feel like some of these bigger,

deeper kind of conversations have happened since we went into business together. Because when you're running a business together and you're presenting a business to other people, the stakes are a little higher. And so that's one of the things that being in business together has brought our friendship. It's, I feel like, even deeper. Yeah, because the dynamic shifts. But I love what you said. I love that intro into getting into a difficult conversation. We haven't had to have any difficult, really difficult conversations yet, Catherine, but I hope to have some soon. But we just started.

We became friends. We started working together, and then we became friends. Yes. So it's the opposite. Well, no, it's not the opposite. It's similar. Yeah. But you guys worked together and then became friends and then decided to work together again.

Well, the difference is, though, is we were co-workers together. We both worked for someone else, right? And really, my work ethic didn't affect Jenna's or vice versa. The way we approach work didn't affect each other. But then, you know, we had our friendship, which was really solid. But then when we started to run our own business together, well, now it's like, that's it. It's just me and Jenna. And we directly affect one another, how we work, how we process information, how we go into a meeting, it's all together.

And that was a real learning curve too, because we do process information and work very differently. But I also think we complement each other really well. Yeah, we have very similar work ethics. We're hard workers. Yeah. But we approach how we organize work differently. And when you go into business with a friend as well, it creates so many more opportunities for friction and, you know, kind of rubbing against each other the wrong way. So was there anything that you really had to work through from that perspective?

I mean, not at first. At first, though, every person I told that we were going into business together was like, do you think that that's a good idea? Are you crazy? Are you worried for your friendship? And even our husbands were worried, I think mostly because they need us to be friends. They need Angela and I to be best friends because we are helpful in not making them everything. They're not our only friend. So we have each other for the big stuff. But I think it

wasn't until we started getting into it where, yeah, it was mostly how we work. Angela is a night owl. I'm a morning person. Yeah. When we swap information, because our podcast, Jen and I break down every episode ourselves. We go through it. We reach out to people ourselves. We kind of come out with an outline of who takes what. And so I would get this creative burst at like 10 o'clock at night, and I'd send her all these ideas. And she'd be like, I need you to back it up because my brain is shutting off. And then Jenna, it's like when her eyes open, her brain is going. Like in the morning, her eyes are open and she's ready to talk. And I'm like, no, no, no, I need time to get into this day.

And that was some of the learning curve that we had. So you need to have meetings at like 2 p.m. Just like me and Phil. This is our happy time right here, 11 a.m. Sweet spot. That's good to identify that. When people had reluctance regarding you guys working together, did you talk about that openly? Yeah, we both came to each other. And I was like, Jenna, Josh thinks this could be a bad idea. And

she's like, oh my God, Lee said the same thing. And neither of us had any reservation. Like I had nothing. You know, sometimes you approach something new and you're like, you get that feeling. I had none of that. I just felt excitement. And usually that means this is a good thing when everything in your body is like, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, I think whether you're in a married couple and you work together or a friendship duo and you work together, I think some people can work together and some people can't. You know, some people can have a great marriage or a friendship and they can't work together. Or maybe they're like on the verge of divorce, but their business is going great. So, you know, I don't think it necessarily reflects on the relationship, but it can be really difficult to work with somebody that you deeply care for, that you love.

Catherine's husband edits our podcast and he's our sound engineer and I'm sleeping with him now too. So things have gotten pretty fucked up around here. It got messy in Mallorca. You're a full thruple. Yeah, we are. Thank you for saying thruple before I had to, because that is the word of the decade for me, especially. I'm everyone's third wheel.

Actually, we have a pretty interesting question coming up today. I want to say before we start, we're going to go right into these questions and we have callers and people call in for real advice,, but it's so nice to have such a wholesome group of girls here today. Like you guys are really going to be, you guys are going to dig this. I could tell because you're really, I could tell you're going to care about these people and this is going to be fun. Yes. Okay. Well, before we get to questions, we'll take a quick break and we'll be right back. I'm Jason Alexander and I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned

during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us. How are you, too? Hello, my friend.

Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Fantastic.

Our first question, Brad, we're going to go right into the caller just for time. Is Brad your husband? Brad is my husband. He's our husband. Hi, Brad. I'm here. Hi. Hi, Brad.

How's it going? I get to tell him what to do, and it's great. You should have seen our hug in the hallway. He went to hug me on the side, and I went around the corner, and then we just both just hit ears. Side boob, hug, everything. It was a hot mess. I mean, he is a good hugger. Well, we missed that one this morning. I'll have to try again when I leave. We bumped elbows. It was fun. Well, this is Bella. She's 22. Her subject line is, am I love avoidant or am I right? So she had written into the show and some developments happened before she wrote in

again or before I reached out to her. She wrote in about a long distance relationship she was in and she wasn't totally sure it was out to her. She wrote in about a long-distance relationship she was in, and she wasn't totally sure it was right for her. They would have a great time when they were together, but after he left, she'd find herself thinking about being single. Complicating matters, they were working on a short film together, and he had helped her through the loss of her father to cancer. She felt that he was a wonderful partner but couldn't really figure out what was wrong, and she had asked, am I trying to avoid a love that's too good for me or is this feeling I get when we're apart right and now's the time for me to be single? Then she wrote in again, a couple weeks ago I left my

long-distance relationship with my boyfriend of two years and it was the best decision I could have made. I loved him but my longing for independence grew bigger and bigger and I couldn't let another day go by abandoning myself. He and I were great friends before we dated, and we'd love to resume that friendship when the time is right. Can you help me with those next steps? I know it would be a few months down the line, but I'm a planner, and I would like to hear your advice. How should I approach establishing new friendship boundaries with him? Should I be conscious of how much time I spend with him? He was more upset about the breakup than I was because mentally I had left the relationship when I wrote my first email. I can't wait to hear from you, Bella. Hi, Bella.

Hi, Bella. Hi. Oh my gosh. I'm so happy to be here. I know. Look at all the women here to give you advice. Yes, I'm so ready. Ladies, ladies. Okay, so two-year relationship. He must have, that must have really, was he surprised? Yeah, which I was surprised. I live in New Jersey, or I just did. I'm on a road trip moving back to LA to pursue acting. Good for you for getting the fuck out of there. Right. We did it. We made it out. I can only say that because it's my home state. Yes, of course. And so earlier this month, I went to LA to visit some friends and I wanted to see the house that I was moving into. And a couple of days before I went, that's also where he lives. A couple of days before I went, I was like, hey, I need some space. I don't want to talk. I just feel very confused. And I was open with him about how I was,

you know, questioning our relationship kind of on and off. And he was like, okay, of course. Yeah. And then I got there and I broke up with him and he was accepting, but then also expected that the whole time I was in LA would be like our lovers goodbye. We would be hanging out the whole time. And I did hang out with them the first day, but then had to kind of back away, which he was very upset about. So it was a little complicated. And I think it was one of those things that once I really honored my knowing and what I wanted, I couldn't like look away and I couldn't unsee it. And for him, it was like he wanted to use this time to really hold on to what we've had and honor what wesee it. And for him, it was like, he wanted to use this time to really hold on to what we've had and honor what we've had. And I think I've been doing that

privately on my own. So I really love him and I really appreciate him. And I think we had a really beautiful relationship, but it's time for me to move on. I don't see myself with him long-term, you know? So I think now more my question, especially about being friends with him, this is one thing I was also realizing in my reflection was I changed parts of myself to really maintaining a friendship with him, I know I need time before that happens. But I think he's going to meet a very different person as well. So I'm just wondering, you know, he's more eclectic, he's very artsy artsy, and there are parts of me, I'm a poet, you know, I'm artsy as well. But I think there's parts of me that I suppressed and then highlighted to really connect with him. And now that I'm out of the relationship, I'm finding who I am again. I'm also 22. You know, I just graduated college.

I'm like in a huge transitional period of my life. And yeah, I'm just feeling a little anxious about moving to a city where he is. And I know he wants a friendship as well. And I would be interested in that. But yeah, I just can't believe the vocabulary that 20 year olds have about their own feelings these days. I mean, I was drunk and high and did not have any reflection about anything. I was like 40. I mean, so impressive.

Thank you. Well, you know, you read Glennon Doyle and your life changes and Brene Brown and, you know, everything just, the whole world shifts. Yeah, good. Good for you. Well, I want to ask you one question before we all jump in. So you kind of hinted at the things that you changed about yourself, but can'm also very practical and especially being an actor, being a writer and having very big dreams for myself. I have a big hustle because I know that for a while I'm not gonna be making my living doing what I love. I'm gonna be working for free a lot. I'm going to be doing theater and getting paid $200 a week

and I'm gonna be so happy to do that. But he didn't have a job and I always did. I felt like I wasn't as motivated and in a hustle mindset when I was with him. He taught me how to slow down and smell the roses. But I think I was doing that too much towards the end of our relationship. And I went on vacation with him and my best friend. And now that we're broken up, she was like, that was so jarring for me because I felt like seeing you two together, I was seeing this side of you that I would have never thought even existed. Like, he's not a planner. We were going to San Francisco and he thought that we could just like go and camp on the beach. And like, that's illegal. And I left him to figure out where we were camping so then we got there and the one job he had he just completely failed out which I was like oh it's

fine it's cute oh god he's such a plant and like yeah so lives moment to moment but no that's something that I wouldn't appreciate and also wouldn't think was cute if that was like just a friend I'd be like you fucked us over like what are we gonna do now so cute if that was like just a friend. I'd be like, you fucked us over. Like, what are we going to do now? So yeah, I think I was just a little bit more passive and let him take the driver's seat. And I'm not that kind of person just in general. And now I feel like I don't have a boyfriend. And like I said, I'm graduating college. I also lost my dad earlier this year. He had brain cancer for two years. And, you know, that really changes a person being 20 and having this like huge dose of reality. And so and losing him also obviously changed me. So I'm like, looking around, I'm like,

I don't even know who I am anymore. And there's parts of myself that I especially lost in my relationship with him. So now I'm just totally rebuilding, which I'm very excited to do, but I do feel intimidated and a bit lost. Well, thank you for your honesty. I love everything you're saying is, I think, so relatable to anyone who's listening and to all women. You know, how many times have we all been in relationships where we've given too much of ourselves away only to come back to ourselves? Or, you know, how many times have we all been in relationships where we've given too much of ourselves away only to come back to ourselves or, you know, every relationship you get out of, and then you hear what everybody thinks about what the relationship was. And you're like, well, I wish you would have told me that while I was in it, but thanks anyway. I feel like I'll go first and then everyone, girls, you can jump in. I think it's so important

to just respect his boundaries, being the one that he was kind of broken up with and letting him take the lead on the friendship part. I think you do need some time so you're not, he's not in love with you because it's so hard to be friends with somebody when you're still in love. You know, it's kind of untenable and it's not, it's not even nice to the other person. So I think you should definitely let him take the lead and you should take some space in between that time that you become friends, but, you know, see what he wants. Cause a lot of people say they want to be friends and then they try and they can't, you know, and then they're like, Oh, I can't do this. It's too soon. It's too much. But yeah, I think

respecting his boundaries, since you're the one who's kind of, you know, blossoming out of the relationship and he will too at some point, but maybe not at the same pace that you are. Angela, what do you think? Well, you know, Bella, when you were talking, one of the things that really stood out to me, and like Chelsea said, you were so well-spoken. I'm just like, oh my God, because I was not at 22. But one of the things you said that really stood out to me is just your feeling of loss after your dad passed away. And when my father passed away, it was like this life anchor disappeared, this thing that I was so tethered to that was the calm in every storm. And it made me hold a mirror up to my whole life, all my relationships. I just looked at differently through this filter of losing my dad. And just know that voice in you that knows when something's

right for you and knows when it's not. And losing a parent like that magnifies that. And so I feel like you are living your truth. And I think that's really good. And I think the thing I would tell you is that the loss of your dad will always be with you. And you're going to have days where it just hits you in waves and days where you're okay. But you just look at everyone differently. And I think that's okay. You just went through a big thing. And if it put your relationship in perspective, I'm sure there were many things that put it in perspective, but I know that that had to contribute, you know? And I just would say to be kind to yourself right now and definitely don't rush into another one. That would be my advice, you know? Just take this time to sort of regroup yourself and regroup how you're going to navigate life without your dad

and how you're going to navigate relationships without him as someone you turn to. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I feel that a lot. And thank you. I was having a conversation with my best friend yesterday. Like I said, we're on this road trip moving back to LA and she was really like, you don't give yourself enough credit. And I was sitting in the car, crying. I was like, I can't even accept that that's true but I also have enough of a mirror up to me to know that it is but yeah thank you very much it's been it's been a ride I think that was probably I've noticed that the most I was studying abroad in Germany and I came back after his services and everything.

And I was just looking at all these people who are 20 and 21 and just worrying about when's margarita pitcher hour and how cheap are the drinks? And I'm like, oh my gosh, everything has changed for me forever. But I'm also very grateful for it as well. I think it's very significant to my life's journey and has played a very specific role. And I do see more and more blessings from it. I mean, this is one of them. Yeah. Yeah. And I think just looking at a specific amount of time, you know, that you might want to let elapse between now and when you can really start rebuilding a friendship with this boyfriend,

if and when that does happen. You know, I feel like as a general rule, I usually say six months is a good amount of time, depending on how many hurt feelings there were for the person who was dumped. But, you know, you might find it's three, four or five months. But I think a good way to step back into that could be group get togethers, like when the time is right. But also, you know, I think as the other gals here have said, like taking his cues on that, as long as it's not too soon. You know, you might have to, you know, keep them keep them at bay for a little while. Yeah, because we really do have the same social circle. So like, even this month, big party time and my friends having a housewarming party,

and there are things that I know that he's going to be at. Is this something that then I just say, like, I'm not going to go to that because I know he's there. Because it's like a weird thing of, do I communicate with him? Like, hey, I don't know how to approach that part of it too. Like just the logistics of, I don't really want to be missing out on a whole part of my social life and these fun parties. But I also will acknowledge that, yeah, part of breaking up with someone and dating someone in your friend group is those sacrifices will have to be made. But I don't know how to do that while not communicating with him and just hope that that works out. Well, I think it's okay to go to those sorts of things and you can be civil and say hi, but I would grab a good girlfriend, just be like, hey, this is my MO for tonight. I'm not trying

to like have long drawn out conversations with him. So like, can you just kind of have my back and keep me entertained and be by my side for the evening. And that way, hopefully, you know, if she sees you kind of getting into something or going down a rabbit hole, she can pull you away and say like, hey, let's go grab a drink or whatever. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think the key is like with breaking up and everything, like the best we can do is to be responsible with other people's feelings, right? Like that's the best we could do to not be misleading, to not be irresponsible, get drunk and make out with them irresponsibly. And so that that obfuscates the entire situation,

you know, not that you're going to do that. You don't seem like the type of girl that's, you know, that confused. But sometimes we can do it. Men can do it, too, obviously. But, you know, women can we have this way that we can sometimes we don't regard people. We don't hold them in the same regard that we would hold our own feelings. So I think the most, you know, thoughtful thing we can ever do when things are ending is just to hold those people's feelings as equal to ours and make sure that we're not sending mixed messages. I'm sorry, I'm unbuttoning my shirt right now while we're talking about this. I don't know what's happening. But yeah, just to be responsible about it. And even if you did want to communicate and say, hey, I just want to make sure you're okay with us going to this party together.

Like there's not going to be any weird vibes. I mean, obviously, you know, you can always do that. That's as long as it's friendly and not misleading. Right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Jenna, what do you think?

Do you have any thoughts on this subject? You know, I think you guys covered a lot of it. And the one thing that I was just going to say was that I really heard that you are entering into a new season. It sounds like an ambitious one in your life. You have a lot of goals and visions for your life. And I want to wish you good luck and don't give up. I have driven my car across the country in hopes of being an actress once. And you are right. You will probably have some years of struggle and weird jobs and patching things together, but I'll just say it's worth it.

And if this is your calling, I really commend you for being brave enough to rise to the occasion and make the changes in your life that are necessary to follow that call. So good luck. You've got this. Thank you so much.

This is such an honor. I love your podcast, Chelsea and Catherine, and I love your podcast, ladies. I love The Office. My dad and I would watch it together all the time. So I just am such a fan of you all. I'm so happy that this all worked out. And Catherine, it's been lovely communicating with you. Likewise. Well, we're a fan of you all. I'm so happy that this all worked out. And Catherine, it's been lovely communicating with you. Aw, likewise.

Well, we're a fan of you now too, Bella. You're an A++, Bella. Yes. Thank you. Jesus God. I'm going to be floating all day. Keep us posted on how it goes. And thank you so much for calling in and sharing with us.

Thank you. Hugging. Have a great day, ladies. Bye. Well, that was just delightful. I know. I mean, what the f- How, where did this, I just can't believe these young people.

I'm so impressed. I would be so proud of her if she was my daughter. I'd be like, I am so flippin' proud of you. They should make Untamed, Glennon's book. That should be curriculum, like required reading for all high school girls. Because everybody who reads it, I mean, I don't think I've ever heard of anyone. Oh, well, some people aren't ready to hear it. Yes, I've heard some women go, it's too much.

It's too much. And you're like, you're the one who needs it the most. You know, when people have that reaction. Have you girls both read her book glenn and doyle i haven't read it but i have friends who have read it and love it i follow her on instagram though and i love her yeah she and abby are so funny and she has another book love warrior and then i think there was one other one right before that but i can't remember the name of that but yeah yeah untamed is awesome i actually was in mallorca we were there and one of my friends had it and i read

three chapters again that I hadn't read before because I was looking for inspiration. And I was like, oh, God, yeah, it's so good. It's just, yeah, it's great. Is it one of those books where you can just flip open a chapter? Yeah, it's sort of essay style. Yeah. So you don't have to read it in order and it'll just be like, oh, wow, something just opened up in me. Yeah. Yeah. You know, in those days where you need something, like you have to just pick something. I love those books too, where you can just pick it up and you're like, what do I need to see? And there's something in here that will help me right now. Yeah. It's like that. Yeah. Oh, Jenna, we need to get it. Also, I have a 14 year old daughter

now. And so I'm just like, she hasn't had a crush yet, you know? It's like it's still, it's all very new, but I know those days are coming, and I want to be prepared. I want to be ready. Right. Yeah. It's a good thing to read along with another friend, you know? I had read it with my sister-in-law, actually, and we would meet every week after reading a few chapters or virtually we'd meet on Zoom and we'd talk about it.

And it was just wonderful. Angela, should we finally read a book together? I mean, listen, anything could happen. Maybe we'll read a book together. Maybe we'll actually finally go to a yoga class I can handle. Anything could happen. Yeah. After this podcast, you guys can do a book podcast where you read books together and do a book review. Yeah. I'm Jason Alexander and I'm Peter Tilden. And

together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer.

And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman.

And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead.

It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, we have one more, well, actually two more callers. They are a pair calling in together. This submission comes from Country Carly and April Showers. Dear Chelsea, to start, my best friend and I have been fans since we were 13 years old watching Chelsea Lately during sleepovers. We have a situation we'd love your advice on. A little backstory.

One of us is a nurse practitioner and has collected over $100,000 in student loan debt in this pursuit. The other is recently divorced and is building a successful career in event planning in Napa. She's been on a health journey to figure out the root cause behind her autoimmune disease so she can successfully manage her PCOS and psoriasis and has accrued a healthy amount of debt in doing so. We're hoping for your advice as we have thought of what we think might be a great idea to get us out of debt and increase our quality of life. We decided we both want to start an OnlyFans account and create an actual solid business plan involving a photographer,

videographer, and account manager. We want to maintain total anonymity, use fake names, and alter our appearance, and use social media accounts unrelated to either of us. The only catch is this photographer slash manager we have in mind is someone one of us is newly dating. We all feel like if we have clear rules and legal contracts, we can all make money and maintain professional and personal boundaries. We're all very level-headed, self-aware, pretty chill individuals that feel like we can truly be successful at this. Are we crazy for thinking this? April is very comfortable with her sexuality and being naked, and I have often been called the nudist of the friend group because I was raised in a European

household that embraced nudity and openness. The couple are both comfortable with the fact that he will be seeing me naked, and I believe that he's a solid guy that would be mature about this. You inspired both of us to begin therapy over the last couple of years, and we feel so grateful to have the tools we have at such a young age. We're excited to free ourselves from debt and pursue a healthier, more genuine, and happy life with the money we will potentially make. Carly Country and hi hi hi carly and april hi ladies hi girls how are you oh lord some flying champagne i have a quick first question because I'm almost 100 years old. I'm pretty sure I know what it's only friends is. Only fans, Jenna.

Only fans. I'm pretty sure I read an article about it or listened to a podcast or something. Can you give me some context so I make sure that I'm remembering the right podcast or article that I read? Yeah. So it's social media for adult content. You can go as far as you want with what you post. There's like full on porn and then there's soft porn. You can do just photos, live interacting. There's like a tipping situation. Yes.

But it's a platform to make money. Okay. I got it. I know what we're talking about. And then there's also a tipping situation yes but it's a platform to make money okay i got it i know what we're talking about and then there's also like the the podcast i listened to about it was like how stressful it can be to manage all the dms and how you can like farm that out to a company who will help you with your dms yeah yeah yeah Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yes. What happens in the DMs? Wait, what happens in the DMs? Like a man will DM you and he'll want like, I loved that pic. Will you do one, you know, with a lollipop or something like that? And then there's a transaction and then you do the one that they want. And then yes I see yes but it can be like I mean and you know what it's like with you can get so many I mean with social media and dms like it can be a

lot to manage yes that's right I have them off right and then sometimes I check in on them and then then I turn it back off yeah but okay so and you guys want to work together on this as a duo and you would be on camera together. We would have our own profiles. Separate. Yeah. It would be, you know, each other's cheerleaders and we would, you know, show each other. Do the photo shoots together. Right.

But not interactive. We would have our own profiles. No, but we would be starting our own management business. So we wouldn't have to, because you pay 20% to OnlyFans already. Oh, that's me. I see. So the idea would be to have someone do the photography and manage. And it happened to be someone that I'm newly dating.

I see. That's your only hesitation here, really, it sounds like, is using this person who you're dating to manage both of you because there's a couple hesitations oh what else what else you got I'm going to be a nurse practitioner so being in the medical field have to like really be careful about maintaining anonymity and also is it worth it to have this out there and potentially be exposed like deep into my career as a nurse practitioner. I'm only a nurse right now. Why does anyone care? If you're a nurse, like whatever. I know. I mean, you're, well. And she, yeah. Yeah. That and just, yeah, having someone I'm dating photographing my friend while I'm there. Yeah. And, I'm not quite sure about the relationship at the moment.

It's very new. Oh, oh, well, that's a big one. That's a big one. Because if you're if this is you're dating someone who's going to manage you guys professionally, but you're not sure of the longevity of that relationship and the dynamic and how it might change, and then they're a business partner. That's the biggest flag here for me, right? Yeah. My biggest flag is I don't know if this is going to be as lucrative as you need it to be unless you can make it your full-time thing. Because the podcast I listened to, my one source of information made it sound like what seems like a side hustle becomes your full-time job if you want it to be really lucrative. Have you examined the real financials here? Yes.

You found information. Yeah. I mean, I've been, yeah, like we both work, I mean, already 45 hours a week so we're not looking for something to add on you know something tremendously but we're also looking for a way to make some extra money to get us out of debt that will be kind of fun and enjoyable in a weird way yeah I'm not that much driving for uber but I would prefer to just have fun with my best friend and take some classy photos and if we make some money off it great but I think realistically what it would come down to is an additional, you know, 15 15 20 hours a week of messaging That's kind of what we think it would take

Like if we do one big, you know shoot sort of say and we set ourselves up for the month or the next couple months and we can You know put those out every day and have it be, we spend like a day doing it. And so it can automatically post every day. So like messaging and staying consistent is a big part of it. But I think if we set ourselves up for that, then maybe it could save some time. That's what I'm thinking of. I'm thinking of sweat equity versus real money versus I heard autoimmune disorder. I know stress can be a big trigger for that. And so those are all the things

I'm thinking just as like, I'm putting my entrepreneurial cap on. This is my business partner. She loves a list. She's going to list it out for you. Chelsea, where are you on this? We totally took this one over. I'm sorry. No, I love it. Using the guy that you're dating, there's some sort of financial upside to that? Are you saving a management fee? I'm confused about that aspect. He is a photographer, videographer already for his job. He works for a gym that's trying to create a lifestyle brand. He's very good. And he, I mean, I don't know if we're getting a discount on any, he's not charging us upfront.

He is going to get a cut and he was going to figure out the ins and outs of automatic posting, timing, managing our Twitter account so that we can keep, you know, the advertising flowing to make it a lucrative business. But I'm kind of at the point where I'm like, if that relationship isn't going to continue, which I'm not sure of yet, what does that look like? Do we hire him for the first shoot and pay him upfront and have a contract that says, this is all you're doing and we just use his photos?

Or do we like let him kind of dive into the whole process and like actually take a percentage of our income? Yeah, I think contractually, like you really have to have everything in black and white because you cannot be in business with somebody that you just started dating. Like that is not a good idea. You have no idea what kind of person, you don't know what happens in relationships. People, you know what I mean? Like it's just, that's bad, bad idea. I understand he comes with some advantages, but like the legal paperwork that would be required to make this sustainable is going to cost you more money than you might make

in the first few months of doing OnlyFans. You know what I mean? Like you really need to have it in black and white. Like if you stop dating or, you know, like how does it work? Does it work by like, yeah, I love the idea of doing a shoot day and that's what you do for the, you know, and you sprinkle it out through the rest of the month. Of course, that's the most time efficient way to do it. That's how I do social media. You know, that's what a lot of people do for many things. But getting into business with some guy that you're dating just is not a kosher idea. So you have to figure out a way around that unless you have somebody like a lawyer that's in your family or a friend of yours that's going to draw up this paperwork for you that will make it very clear the split that they get. And you have to have like a very big boundary conversation about what happens if you guys don't continue dating. It just that that part is pretty, that sounds messy. Yeah, he is a very level-headed person

and a lovely person. He grew up with two sisters and just his mom. So like he's very in tune to women and I do trust him pretty naturally. Yeah, but everyone's level-headed in the beginning. Yeah, until they're not. Yeah, so just don't, you can't trust that until you know somebody for a long period of time

what's gonna happen. Yeah, yeah. I mean, just kind of looking at the low-hanging fruit, if anonymity is really important to you, maybe there's a business opportunity here that doesn't have you on camera at all. Like it's not necessarily as sexy, quite literally, but you've talked about the things that people hate about doing OnlyFans. It's the paperwork. It's the DMing. It's all the stuff that's just

hours from their day. Maybe there's a business opportunity for you to be the business behind OnlyFans creators who are already successful, providing these sorts of resources for them so they can offload that stuff to you. Maybe it's for a 20% cut. I mean, from what you read, a lot of people on there are making gobs of money, so they're not going to care what it costs just to be able to offload all the business side. And as you've said, you've got business minds, you know how to create a business plan and, you know, basically be consultants. Yeah, that's funny. And then I recently met someone who I really like, and I'm already thinking like, what the fuck, I'm going to tell him I'm going to do OnlyFans. Like, I'm kind of embarrassed. And I'm like, maybe that's internally something saying more than what I'm really reflecting on, perhaps.

Well, I would definitely listen to all of that, you know, because that's what you're feeling inside if you're worried about that. But I think there might be a business opportunity here, but more like what Catherine's saying, right? Maybe you guys manage people. Yeah, like start a social media management company. Yeah, that's a great idea, Catherine, actually. I think you should, yeah, look into that. And then how would they go about that? Contacting people who are on OnlyFans and like contact... Yeah. Because I'm sure those people, who was it? Black China or something made $10 million a month last year on OnlyFans or something? A month? A month, yeah. That's crazy money for people who are successful.

And your average gal, like non-famous person, there's been girls that make up to like 12,000, 15,000 a month. Everything that I've read. That's extreme though. That's extreme. And that's hard work, consistent posting. Yeah. I just want to pay off my student loans you're looking for like

a side scratch right like a little side hustle this sounds like if you really want to make a lot of money it's a full job is what it's sounding like yeah yeah and i just want to point out your tattoo if you're looking about remaining anonymous we talked about that covering them up oh i see okay and then i mean i don't think anyone yeah i don't think anyone gives a shit anymore like if a nurse is getting nude on the side who cares you know what i mean like what does that shouldn't matter it's not like yeah it's not like you're a congresswoman i mean look what they get away with i know i know i guess nurses should get publicists too. We can manage that.

Only fans for medical professionals. That could be your shtick. That could be your, yeah, that's your hook. You know, you guys can always also like experiment. Whenever I have like a new idea or a new business idea, they don't always all bloom into something amazing. You've mentioned a few things that you're a little nervous about. Like you could try doing a shoot. And maybe after doing one photo shoot, you're like, you know what? It turns out that was weird. It was super weird that my boyfriend was seeing you nudie.

And we're going to now forget that happened. And we're just going to come up with a new idea. And that's okay too. Yeah. Do like a test shoot. See if the photos even turn out. And then if you loved it and the photos turn out great, you have them, you know, but just cause you do it one time doesn't mean it has to be a thing you're doing. Or we actually post them.

You can keep checking in with yourself. Keep asking yourself, is this still right for me? Does this still feel like a thing I want to do? Do I have time for this? Is this a match? Yeah. And there's also other people who know how to take pictures who aren't your boyfriend. Yeah.

I have a little bit of photography experience so I could at least get like the lighting and everything so that's what we were saying like we could do this but I think what we were trying to offload was the hours of work of editing photos and posting and right because we do work full-time so and with somebody who you like you're you you're kind of trusting because you have a personal connection relationship with. Yeah. Yeah. Right. I think either way, whether you decide to like do a shoot or get into this full time or maybe do some business or social media management, talk to a few people who are doing this. Find out what the pain points are. What do they love about it? What do they hate about it and

actually like rather than you know just reading articles talk to somebody who's really doing it you know you maybe even pay them for their time through only fans yeah ask them what they hate about it and those pain points that's what is going to show you where the business model is i actually do know someone yeah pretty closely that does it yeah oh yeah perfect a female yeah so i could message her yeah do some research some information gathering and let that inform you to see if you want to really take the next step yeah yeah that's great advice thank you i love that you girls called into the podcast to see if you should go on only fans that's a pretty great question. I've been doing crazy to even consider. Or like Chelsea will tell us like it is.

And thank you for calling in with champagne, ladies. Oh, yeah. We're going to have a date. April lives in Napa, so we're going to go have a day in Napa. Nice. Lovely. Make sure to get some pictures,

girls. Yeah, we'll be get some pictures, girls. We will. Yeah, we'll be practicing after our wine tours. Perfect. Well, thanks. Let us know what happens. Will do. Bye.

Bye, girls. Bye. That's funny. It gets really real over here. Yeah, seriously. I can't believe that's our first callers that called with drinks in their hand, actually. That's actually a good point. Yeah.

Well, let's take a quick break and we'll be back to wrap up with Angela and Jenna. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like... Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer.

We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend.

Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really.

No really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really? No, Really? And you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back. Hi. Oh, guys, what a delight that was today, Angela and Jenna. It was so nice having you both together and on our show. Thank you. Thank you so much for having us. I'm now going to be your best friend, your other best friend. I'm going to be texting you. I'm going to be emailing. Perfect. I love texting. I love emailing. I love all of it. Amazing. Well, do either of you have any advice questions you'd like to ask Chelsea? I have one. Okay. I have one.

You go first, Jenna. You go first. Okay. Chelsea, ski season is upon us. I am a new person to skiing and I love it. My family learned how to ski during the pandemic. We relocated to Santa Fe to be with family. We were locked down together.

And I don't know if you've skied in Santa Fe, but the ski mountain is about 20 minutes away from town. So we could go daily, every other day. It was the best way to learn how to ski. So I learned to ski at 47 years old. And I love it. My kids love it. My husband loves it. I am here for any

skiing advice. Is there any kind of ski accessory that you cannot live without? So which mountain were you skiing at? Not Taos? No, that's a little too hard for me. We were skiing at Ski Santa Fe. Santa Fe has its own ski mountain, Ski Santa Fe. That's where I learned how to ski. Now, I've since skied other places, but I'm greens and easy groomed blues. That's where I'm at. My family is all advanced. Even my children are skiing blacks. Okay. I see. I see. I see. Well, I love that. First of all, how great is it to pick up something when you're 47? I'm 47 too. And I love when people talk about a new sport that they learn because some people just think it's too late for things, you know, and that's never true.

So that's so exciting. First of all, there's a great, great woman named Tara Shakti on Instagram who makes these adorable ski suits. So, I mean, they're pretty, you kind of get noticed when you're wearing them, but they're fun to wear every once in a while. She just DM'd me with her new winter styles or colors. Well, I'm definitely here for that. I got my ski pants off Amazon. So I'm in, I'm in the market for maybe an upgrade this year. So her Instagram is T-A-R-A-S-H-A-K-T-I. And she has the cutest snowsuits. Other than that, do you have your heated gloves and heated boots?

No, no. I just shove the little hand warmers and toe warmers in. But I've been wondering, I've been skeptical. Is this really a cool thing to have the heated ones? Yeah, you should get mitts. Mitts keep your hands warmer than the gloves. Then putting your five, your fingers get warmer when they're together. So I have a mitt, but I just put like a, you know, a hand warmer in the, in the top. Yeah. I would get heated gloves and heated boots and it is a game changer. So that like, cause it

just, as long as you are comfortable when it does get really cold, that will change everything. And it's so nice because if it's not cold enough, you can just turn it off and you don't need it, but it's such a nice luxury to have. And I'm so surprised by so many people on the mountain who are like, do those really work? It's like, yeah, they work. I mean, I ski in Whistler where it gets really frigid, so you need warmth and stuff.

But I think that really like, you know, comfort when you can be comfortable while you're skiing, it's the best. And then I would just say for a technique and stuff, I always, someone once just told me, you know, when you're pole planting and learning how to pole plant, because for a long time, I didn't know what to do with my poles. I was just like, no, I don't even need them. But when you're pole planting, it's nice to think of taking your pole as like getting you down the mountain. You know, every time you plant, you're turning down the mountain. And that way you're in control of the mountain. The mountain is not in control of you. All right.

I'm so excited. It's like it's coming up and I didn't love my boots last year. So I'm going to try to upgrade my boots. Yeah, you should try and get customized boots because then they mold them to your feet. And then that way you're just, because boots are so tricky. Like if I have to wear my, if I have to wear any other boots than my own, like when you're trekking up a mountain, you have to get different boots. I can't even believe I can't think of this term. What the fuck? I know what you're talking about. Ski touring, sorry. Yeah, I see people doing that. Yeah, I don't like that.

I like to ride up a chairlift and then go down the mountain. I don't want any exercise. Yeah. When you have your own customized boots where you get molded for them, that makes the hugest difference too, because then your feet are like locked in and your ankles are locked in and the feeling of security is just so much better. Okay. See, I think, you know, I kind of wanted to make sure before I spent all that money and I like really committed, I'm like, am I committed to this sport? But as Angela knows, I am now, we are in.

You are so in. I mean, we watch when it's snowing and we go follow the snow. We've become obsessed. Just set yourself up for success. It's okay. The investment is worth it always. Thank you. I love a ski question. Okay. I have a question. Okay. Dare Chelsea. So I had a hard time during the pandemic because I, I love to have people over and hang. And that was a real hard thing for me, just missing having people over. So one of the things I used to do every year was I had a Yankee Swap Christmas

party, something that started on the show, The Office, if you watch it. We had this whole Christmas exchange and I decided it's like the classy, what was it, Jenna? It's like the white elephant gift, right? Yep. So I started having that party here at my house and it got so rowdy and so fun and people go crazy. Jenna's gift is always a big hit. You brought the water hose one year. And Oscar Nunez started chanting, give them the hose. It's like the trades start happening.

And people have a really good time. And I really want to bring my Christmas party back this year. And I get this taco guy. And he's amazing. He has this whole setup. But I've never hired anyone to do drinks. Everybody just makes their own drinks. But I really wanted to make a margarita, like a great margarita and have a pitcher of margaritas out.

And I just feel like you know how to make a good margarita. And I would love your margarita recipe. Oh, it's pretty basic. I mean, I don't like them too sweet. Do you like them sweet? I don't either. I don't like sweet. That's pretty basic. I mean, I don't like them too sweet. Do you like them sweet? I don't either. I don't like sweet. That's my thing. And I feel like I have a memory of you somewhere on a deck talking about a margarita. And I was like, I want to ask her. I know there's a lot of big life questions I could ask you, but I really want your margarita recipe.

I like Don Julio Blanco. For me, I like the silver tequila. I don't like smoky tequila. I like silver tequila. So Don Julio Blanco is my favorite. I use tons of fresh limes. They have to be fresh squeezed limes. You have to do that like massive amounts. Okay, I'm writing this down. And the way to avoid the sweetness is to get, you know, Cointreau is what makes it sweet. So instead of Cointreau, because a lot of people like a little bit of sweet. I just personally don't like that. But what's better than Cointreau is just a nice agave that you put a tiny bit of agave in. And there's tons of different brands of organic agave that you can use.

But margarita season is not upon us yet. I haven't had margaritas yet. When does margarita season start? I guess now. Well, you're a winter margarita person. Oh, yeah. I drink, when I ski, I have margaritas. That's when I drink margaritas.

I was in Spain, so they don't make margaritas in Spain. And anytime you try to order one, it's terrible because people don't realize Spain is not Mexico. It's a totally different scenario. But, yeah, agave instead of Cointreau. And then that cuts the sweet in half. And just use fresh lime and never use a mix, ever. Okay. And then the silver tequila is

key. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I wrote it down. I'm very excited. I'm going to make one. I'll let you know about it. Okay, great. That's the only real recipe I know. So I'm glad that's the one you asked for. Amazing. Well, thank you so much for joining us. This is so fun. I loved it. Thank you guys so much. I just love your podcast so much. Can I come back next week? Yeah, come back anytime, you girls. You have a great gig. Oh, yeah, I know. We do. It's so much fun. And we're so delighted to have you guys. Thank you so much. You were both such pleasures. Thank you. And I hope to see you both soon. I hope so, too. Yes. I would love it. Okay.

Take care, guys. Bye, guys. Bye-bye. So I am winding up my stand-up tour. Vaccinated and Horny is coming to a screeching halt at the end of the year. I have my last dates coming up. And these are the last opportunities you have to also buy merch from the website, ChelseaHandler.com, if you want vaccinated and horny captains hats that say we're the captains now for women only our t-shirts for

men in your family that say, I'm sorry, because they should be. I only have a few dates left. Concord, New Hampshire, Worcester, Mass, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. There I said it and then San Diego and Riverside California and then Baltimore Maryland

and then my very last date is December 16th in Redding Pennsylvania if you are enjoying what you're hearing you can subscribe to Dear Chelsea

that is our podcast and you can rate us if you want yeah that's a great idea it actually makes a huge difference for this podcast, for any podcast that you like. Subscribing, giving it a rating actually make a huge difference in who all it gets served to and helping spread the word.

Okay, yeah. Yeah. Subscribe and comment. Yeah, and follow. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartRadio, executive produced by Nick Stumpf, produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast

is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast.

Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms.

With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation.

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