Dear Chelsea - In His DMs with Tish Cyrus Purcell

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

Tish Cyrus is here for our annual Mother’s Day episode to talk about moving into a new chapter of life, wrangling Miley’s career and raising a family, and overcoming Instagram DM sabotage to meet the love of her life. Then: A college student is curious about finding a green-flag guy.  A mom of three little kids is desperate to find time to herself.  And a new mom struggles to move on from her deadbeat ex.  * Listen to Sorry We’re Cyrus here Pick up a copy of The Correspondent here * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My mother-in-law spent years sabotaging our relationship until Karma made her pay for it. All right, Sophia, tell me about how we started this story.

She moved in for two weeks, lasted five days, left a mess, and then pressed her ear against their bedroom door and burst in screaming. When kicked out to a hotel, she called her son-in-law's workplace, pretending his partner had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance. She faked a medical emergency? And spoiler, that was just the beginning. To find out how it ends, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Robert from the Stuff to Blow Your Mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fan, so we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun, thought-provoking Star Wars-related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of tauntons and wampas on the ice planet hot,

or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith rule of two. Listen to stuff to bowl your mind on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, for the High and Mighty Tour, people, we are rocking and rolling. These are the shows we have coming up. May 15th, I will be in Saratoga, May 16th, Monterey, May 17th, Modesto. I will be in Port Chester on June 4th. And we added two new dates to the High and Mighty Tour. On June 3rd, I am coming to Saratoga Springs, New York.

So pre-sale has begun for that. And then on June 28th, I am coming to Nantucket. And pre-sale has started on that. June 5th, I will be in Boston, Massachusetts. June 12th, I will be in Portland, Oregon. And June 13th, I will be in Seattle, Washington. June 27th is going to be Hyannis, Massachusetts. August 6th is Red Bank, New Jersey.

August 7th, I'm coming home to Montclair, New Jersey. August 15th is Calgary. Alberta, Canada. September 18th, Santa Barbara. September 19th, San Diego. September 25th, I will be at the beacon in New York City. September 26th, I will be in Philadelphia. September 27th, New Haven, Connecticut. October 2nd, Atlanta, Georgia, October 3rd, Baltimore, Maryland, October 4th, Saginaw, Michigan, October 9th, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, October 10th, Toronto, Canada. October 16th, I'm coming to Boise, Idaho. October 17th, Spokane, Washington, November 7th, I will be in San Francisco, and November 13th, Salt Lake City, November 20th, Austin, November 21st, Houston, Texas, November 22nd, Irving, Texas.

December 5th, I am adding a second show in Denver, for those of you who couldn't get tickets to the first one. And on December 6th, I will be coming to Vancouver, Canada. Okay, those are all my dates for the high and mighty door. Go to Chelseahandler.com for tickets. Hello, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. What shows do you have coming up this week? Well, I just did my Netflix as a joke show.

Awesome. But there is a Kevin Hart roast on Sunday night for the Netflix as a joke festival. And I don't think anything's public, but I would just say stay tuned to that. Are you, do you do roasts very often? Or is this, I've never done a roast, but this roast is going to close out the festival

and it's for Kevin Hart. So you know how I feel about it. Kevin Hart. That's basically like your entire interaction with him is just like roasting him the entire time you're together anyway. So I know you'll do amazingly. He's an absolutely ridiculous person. And he needs to hear that on a regular basis to keep his little tiny feet on the ground. Well, I mean, he's a dad, but today is our Mother's Day special. Oh, yes. Kevin's roast, ironically, is on Mother's Day. He'll do anything to get out of having plans with his wife on her special day. Yes, we have a

we have a very special mother who is so sweet and responsible for raising lots and lots of children. She has a podcast called Sorry, where Cyrus, she is a manager, a producer, and she's here for our Mother's Day special. Please welcome Tish Cyrus Purcell. Okay, last time I saw you Tish,

we were talking about our love of marijuana. And you said that you had to quit smoking marijuana because you were getting anxiety. And I would like an update, because the last time I saw you was about a year ago. And before that, it was about a year that you had quit. Yes. So still dealing with anxiety. Okay.

It's freaking horrible. And way better, definitely functioning, living my life where before I was not. But still, like, at night I'll smoke here and there. But I still, now I just have this fear of everything with the anxiety. So I'm like so afraid it'll give me anxiety that it'll definitely give me anxiety. Yeah. So I only smoke when I'm. I'm feeling really, really good.

Because then you have room to spare. Oh, my God. You're like, then I have a little margin of error I can handle. But I just, I love marijuana. I love marijuana too. I smoked some last night in my bed and it felt so great. Like I just moved into this house as you can see. And it felt so nice to sit in my bed and my underwear.

Yep. And smoke a joint. Oh, it's the best. But I understand what you're saying about like if anything causes you anxiety, then it becomes more anxiety induced into even contemplate doing it. Totally. And the only thing I said, sometimes feel like that could relate to what you're saying is sometimes when I'm smoking weed,

there's a period of like a 15 to 20 minute bubble where you have no self-consciousness at all and you get lost in it. And it's such a beautiful feeling to be lost in a conversation or lost in a book or lost in like whatever you're doing organizing at your house. But then when you remember that you're stoned. Oh, totally. And there's a shift that goes. goes, oh, you're stone, and then you start having that kind of anxiety. One million percent. Yeah. So.

The 15 to 20 is heaven, like paradise. But, you know, I used to before the anxiety, like, that I've had for the last few years, I don't really feel like I hit that 20 minute and even thought about it. But you know what? I was kind of stoned 24-7. Yeah. Well, that's what happens. Sometimes we just have to really, like, break it off and let our body, like, reaclimate.

And then our physiology changes as we get older, too, which is a fucking pain. in the ass. It sucks. Well, I'm not going to ever stop drinking. Did you stop drinking? I never was a drinker. I just, just weed. But now people say, like, well, my therapist, when I talk about the weed thing and my love for it and I miss it. And I just, because she was like, but you were never kind of just like on an even keel. You were, because I would, I mean, I did smoke. Like at night, I smoked a lot, you know, and smoked during the day. So I was kind of like, I don't think I ever had a baseline of not being stone for like 10 years. Did you wake up and smoke weed? I did not do that, but I definitely thought when I woke up, I definitely was still high. Do you feel like that?

Oh, really? From the night before. I definitely feel like I was still like just chilled and somewhat not completely not stoned. Like a really nice hangover. Yes, in the best possible way. Oh, well, that's great then. And then would start smoking about like 2 p.m., something like that. But it was every single song. Do you smoke every day? No, I don't smoke every day. That's the difference. I'm smoking every single day. Yeah. But there are days where I wake up and I immediately take an edible. Where I'm like, this is going to be hard. And I just medicate. But that doesn't happen that often either. I definitely go through phases. When I go to Whistler, Canada, and I'm there for winter, I definitely wake and bake. Like I get up, I smoke weed. I go skiing. I smoke more weed. I come home. You know, like that's my vibe up there. But when I'm in L.A., it's not the same vibe.

Right. I think now I'm just probably, from what I'm learning during all this damn. therapy I've been doing is I am just learning to kind of process things that happened over the last 10 years that I did not process in any way, shape, or form because I was just hot. And so I'm having to kind of deal, which absolutely sucks. And I'm just learning to do that. And that's where your anxiety comes from. Totally. Yeah. I mean, that's where anxiety comes from for all of us, like trauma or stuff that we had to deal with that we weren't really present for, which most people aren't because there's all these defense mechanisms that we build in order to protect ourselves from dealing with anything traumatizing or dramatic. Okay. Congratulations, 20th anniversary of Hannah Montana. I was watching

Amiley and I was like, oh my God, you guys have morphed into the same exact person. It's really crazy. Isn't it so crazy? You look like fucking twins now. It's so nuts. And she, like, we were shopping the other day and I was in like a store next door to the store she was in and I hear her come down and she was like, she was like, Mom, I literally looked in the window, but it was my reflection, but I thought it was you and it was a whole weird thing for me. And she was like, I'm really kind of scared.

I'm scared that I have absolutely morphed into you. Isn't that so crazy? Yeah, it's weird. And what about the other kids? Are they looking as much like you? I mean, Branty does a little bit, but not in the way that my... You and Miley are like twins. Well, I want actually, let's circle back to the pot smoking

because if you're managing all five of them, you have five children, you may as well have 17. Okay, I don't manage all of them. Okay, but didn't you at some point manage all of them? At some point, I was very, I was not with Brandy. She always did the DJ thing, which wasn't, I didn't know anything about that. With Noah, I managed her when she was really young, but also I was getting older and it is just like, doing that when your kids are younger is much harder because you're the mom and the manager, and it's just like a constant battle.

everything's a battle at that time. So Noah has had her own manager for a long time. So I really, really just am in the literal weeds day to day on the Miley stuff, which is a lot. And, but it's also, I don't know, I say this all the time, I really don't know how we did that and came out unscathed in like a crazy way. But I don't know how we came out in it to where we are still best friends. I'm her manager and her and like we love each other and like you even like each other and like it just works seamlessly for us somehow and I don't like I look back and I'm like damn we did so much and she grew up in front of the world and you know she went through her own stuff and somehow we made it through in the best possible way do you can you think of a time where you gave her advice or guided her in a certain

direction that you're most proud of? You know, I think for me, one of the things is like, you know, when she was like, listen, we all grew up and we all did crazy shit and Molly was doing everything in front of the world, but also Molly was such a creative genius during those periods of time, which, you know, I think some people were just like watching her and it was like this growing up thing, but I always saw, like, her mind and creatively what she was doing her entire career. And so for me, it's just like some of the things that I was watching her do, like even I didn't understand. And looking back of it, I was always just telling her to be authentically who she was.

Like, no matter what, no matter what somebody from a label is saying or just whoever, as long as you're being authentically you, go for it. Yeah. And no matter what she was doing, there was never a time that I wasn't just, somebody told me if you're always coming from a place of love, it works out. And I always had to keep that in mind with while I was managing her and also like being number one her mom, you know, but also being her friend. And then the manager, there was always for me just like if I'm always coming from the right place and a place of love, I can't steer her wrong.

And I really did live by that during all those years and just kind of letting her be who she was. and who she is. And now I look at her and I'm like, holy crap, girl, you did good. Yeah, totally. You know, when I see her now, it's like, I am so blown away by who she is. Me too. It's really crazy. I know. It is really impressive. Did you ever look at all of these other girls and think I should step in and take over the ones whose parents weren't as coming from a place of love? Yeah. I mean, you must have felt that way because I feel that way and I'm not even a mother. Totally. And people, you know, even with Molly, people would, you know, look at me and be like, where is her mother? And I'm like, right there, like right beside her every step of the way. But handling it,

I don't know, in just a way that made Molly feel safe, I think. And I just look, I just, and I was, I really did, even though I had all these other children, I think like when we went on, when Molly was on the road, I took them. You know, and that was like a hard decision. too because it was like I wanted them to have their own lives, but I also didn't want to leave them with like a nanny or whatever. So like no one brazen would go on the road with us and we'd have a teacher and, you know, it kind of felt like just being at home on the road because the family was all around. And I think that's another huge thing that probably helped Molly, just having her family around all the time. And do you think that was beneficial for the kids now in retrospect to go on the road?

do because I feel like, you know, I'm like crazy about, like, I think the school system is insane and how we teach the kids learn and all these things. I think they learned way more being on the road, living life, having those experiences, also having a teacher out there where they were actually doing school, but also just learning way more than they ever would, sitting in a classroom and going to home room. I just feel like it was a completely different life. They grew up quick too. You know, they grew up, I do feel like they probably had to grow up faster than a lot of kids, but I look at them now and they're both all so just well-rounded and very independent. And so when I look back on it, I feel like it was absolutely the right choice. Well, what I love about your

story, too, is, A, good fucking job. Thank you. Mothers need to be told that all the time. I know you didn't do it alone. I know your husband was there too. Your ex-husband was there too. But let's just say that. What I love about your story is that now you have a whole new story of your own. So you did all of this work and you went on the road and you played the role of mother and manager, not just for one of your children, for all of your children at different times, maybe not the manager part, but, you know, being a mother to all of them while this was all happening. And then you get to have your next chapter, which is like really inspiring because you got divorced. Yes. And you probably had to be no idea that you were going to fall in love with this man, Dominic. So can you fill our listeners in

on that story and how you guys met and that stuff? Because it's pretty cute. Yes, it's so cute. So, yes, I did all those things. And, you know, I didn't ever really think I would get a divorce. That was not in the cards at all for me. And, you know, that happened. And so I literally just, I love love. And one of my friends at the time, you know, I was definitely. I'd been married for so long since I was like 24 years old. So I didn't know anything different and had never been like on a date like a date and whatever. So one of my friends just said, if you could go out with anyone in the world, like who is your like dream guy? How long after? Were you still in devastation mode at this point or were you in recovery mode? I was pretty much I think I was at that point in shock mode. Blindsided. Yes. And just. the, I don't know where I was at. Honestly, I was stoned. But when she asked me that, I had always, I loved the show prison break.

And I just always thought Dominic was so dreamy and just like so gorge. And so when she said that and she happened to be an agent and I was like, Dominic Purcell. And she was like, you need to DM him right now. And I was like, what? I am not doing that. And she was like, no, you're doing it. And so I did. And at the time, it was funny, I had a deal at NBCU to do TV shows. And so when I DM'd him, I was like, hey, Dominic, you know, I don't know if you live in Australia or L.A., but I have a TV

deal at NBCU, and I'm such a huge fan of prison break. Don't know what you're up to, but what do you think about getting together and talk about, like, maybe creating a show together or whatever. He literally, I'm talking, dings me back in like five seconds. And he goes, hi love. Like, Yes, let's do that. Like, let's get lunch or whatever. And I'm like, okay. And then he's like, how about tomorrow? And we meet up at this little crazy place called Pickwick's.

It's a little Irish pub in Sherman Oaks. And he's drinking and I'm smoking weed and we played darts and hang out. And then we made out. And it was just like, wow, like this is crazy. And we had so much fun And it really was something that kind of like Saved me at that moment, I think The newest tracks

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you get your podcast. Huber me. I need some jokes to make me seem funny. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all,

embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the must. also grace. Listen to Superhuman on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My mother-in-law spent years sabotaging our relationship until karma made her pay for it. Wait a minute, Dakota. How bad did it get?

Well, it got bad enough that her son-in-law had to eventually arrest her himself. She moved in for two weeks, lasted for five. She left nail clippings in the bathtub, candy stuck to the furniture, and then she pressed her ear against the bedroom door and burst in screaming. She did not burst in while they. They were. She did. They kicked her out and paid for her hotel, and they thought, it's finally over. Days later, she called her son-in-law at work, claiming that his partner had been in some kind of freak accident and had been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance.

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Okay, so you guys got together. We did. You had a great first date. That sounds like an adorable first day. Kissing in the afternoon is really... Really cute, right? Yeah. You kiss somebody in the daytime for the first time. That's cute. Yes, it was great. Yeah, and so then the next day he texts me like, how do we do this again? Like, and I'm like, I don't, I don't, let me know. And so he called me and then we just saw each other constantly. And pretty quickly he said, yep, I love you. Like, let's do this.

Wow. And I was like, great. And we just, we started seeing each other like consistently and here we are. And what are some of the things that you discovered about yourself being in this kind of new, different relationship that you didn't even know existed within a relationship, maybe. Oh, my gosh. Well, number one, communication.

I did not know how to communicate in any way. And I think that was probably a big, you know, thing is like, there was just no communication. Like, even now, I feel like I'm more close up and close myself off and, like, go hide in my room or something instead of like like speaking up and saying like you know I really like for me I just I love like to be cuddled and like I need to like I guess my love language is touch probably or words of affirmation and like I could if I am feeling anyway I will just go to Dom and be like I'm feeling sad I need a cuddle and like it's just like he like is so I have never gotten anything from him but love when it's anything in anything in my world that's like

wrong or I'm feeling a certain way like I used to be so scared to voice those things I felt like I just needed to be so strong and because I really kind of did run everything like our entire family everything kind of really did fall on me to to handle and I feel like this is the first time I've actually felt like I had a partner that what you know and and that's taken a lot to get used to And also I feel like for me it was always like there's such a calmness in my life now. And I'm having a hard time with that. Oh, interesting. Yeah. I think, I mean, in therapy, that's what I'm learning is like I have lived in so much, not bad chaos necessarily. Like just chaos in general for so long, which I love. I actually like it too. I love chaos. I know what you mean. I thrive in chaos. Me too. Then everything's just moving, moving, moving. It's hard to sit and stop.

and be like, uh-oh. When I do that is when it's not good for me. Mm-hmm. It's not good for me. And also I would imagine because you are such like the orchestra conductor of Miley's life and making all the decisions, like you have no problem being assertive on behalf of her. Totally.

But when it comes to you, it's a different situation. Completely different. And I don't know what that was. Well, I think that's true for a lot of women. Like, I think we are able to stand up for each other. or sometimes more than we are. Like if it's our daughter, our sister, our mother, you know, anybody, you can go to bat for someone else

much more easily than we can defend or stand up for ourselves. Way easier. So I think that's common. Yeah. And I will say, and I do this on my podcast where I'm like, Brandy's like, here we go on the Dom show. But I will say, literally, I have actually never met someone like him because I, like, it is, it's so crazy to me because it has to be, like, conscious because it is very

much like, he just tries to empower me so much, not to only, like, to be communicated, communicative with him, but, like, he's always like, you are so strong. Look what you've done. Look what you've done this, you know, and he's like, you've got to stand up for Tish. Like, you know, he, like, really has, in the last few years just really, because I have struggled with the anxiety thing so much. And let me tell you, like, holy crap. Like, he has just been poor thing. Rock. Like, I, Regan Rock.

And, but the part of, like, kind of teaching me to lean into my power and what I've already accomplished because I actually didn't really even see it because I was so in it has been amazing. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. That's beautiful. Yeah.

I'm so happy for you. Yeah, he, like... And he sounds so wonderful and lovely. Like, if all men could just be like that, then we wouldn't have half the problems that we have. Oh, for real. And, like, even the first year where my anxiety was, like, completely out of control. Like, truly, he did not leave my side. Like, he did not work.

He did not... He, like, really was just, like, I cannot leave my wife. Like, this is critical time, like, for me to, like, be there and get her through this. And he really did. And, like, he... Listen. I'm not saying he's perfect. Like he loves to watch sports and I want to watch.

There's these little things. But as a man, like you said, if every man was like that, it would be a different world. Yeah. If every man was encouraging to women to stand up for themselves and to search their truth and to set the time aside for when someone needs you to actually be available to them. I mean, that's a luxury item also. Not everybody has the ability to do that financially. But those aren't the only ways to show up.

And it's very nice to hear about men that are doing that. Totally. Speaking of men at one point, I've got to tell you about my friend. So I've been seeing on your Instagram you helping men find love. Yes. Well, I'm trying to help women find love. But the men problem is there's like, we need men. We need straight men that are available and respectful and respectable.

Yes. I was talking about gay men. Oh, yeah, there's a lot of the gay men. But also, like, that is not, gay men are fucking. They're already fucking. That is so true. They're all fucking. So it's like the fact that they're like leaning on me to meet them so that they can

fuck more. That is hilarious. This is really for straight women is who I was trying to hot. Okay, because I was thinking. Go ahead. Your friend is a gay man? Yes. And he definitely sent you something into the DMs.

Oh, okay. But I was thinking, because he was telling me all about it, I was thinking this was mostly for gay men. So you're helping women. Yeah, I don't know where it got out. Probably because my audience is probably mostly gay men and women. And there's definitely not straight men hitting me up in the way that I'm asking them to. But yeah, I've got to broaden my, I have some opportunities have arrived that I'm like,

should I do something like this? Because I really do. I think in times like that we're living in, I just want everyone to be fucking and having a good time. Totally. Everyone should at least be having sex with someone that they are attracted to. Totally. At the very minimum. Yep.

Agreed. Oh, yeah. I wish I knew good straight. Good straight guys. Well, if you do find any and you come across them, send them my way because I have so many women. I have so many. These women are in my DMs like, please help us.

Help us. These dating apps are atrocious. Oh my God. I can't imagine. And I guess there's just a dish. The problem is, did you ever do the dating apps? I did not. You didn't get that far.

No. That has to be horrible. Yeah. And you know, and I think that's also problematic because there's such abundance on the dating app. Right. You can just swipe through people and you don't really take them seriously like you would going on a date with someone. You're looking at like 50 girls in a day.

So how are you going to focus on one? You're like looking for the next best thing. So they need to re-engineer these dating apps. Anyway, more to come on that. More to come. I'm going to stay focused on it. Okay. You should.

Honestly, it is so needed. How long after you started seeing Dominic, did you guys get married? We got married in a year and a half. Did we? We met in 20. God, I'm so bad. We met in February of 22, and we got married in August of 23. Okay. So a year and a half. Okay. That's, that's, and how long has it been? Yeah. Just a two years? We've been married two years and we've been together over four. Like right. We're four in February. Yeah. Well, when I saw you, I went on your podcast, which is called Sorry We're Cyrus that you and Brandy do together, which is great fun. Have you had a good time doing the podcast? Love it more than anything. Oh, really? What do you love about it?

You know what? I honestly, this is something else I've learned, is like, I really don't give myself props for being good at anything. Like, I'm like, what am I good at? Like, I was good at managing Molly. That went well. But, like, there are never really anything that I think about that I love to do. And I've found that with the podcast, like, I really do love talking to people. It's my favorite thing.

And I love, like, instead of just, like, shooting the shit, like, I actually love kind of a deep conversation. And I feel like I'm pretty good at it. Like, I think it's more, it's not something like that I prepare for for three days or like, I kind of just go into it as like I'm just shooting the shit with a friend. And that even like, I had O'Landerion, which I had not seen Love Island at the time. And, and, and, and, and. And, and. And, and. Everybody afterwards, everybody just freaked out on how great it was because it wasn't about the show, that it was about her. And I think for me, it gave me this confidence in doing the pod that I had never had. And because I really didn't know if I felt like I was good at it. And I had all these people like just really being like, we really didn't know a landery at all. And we felt like we got to know her through you. And she was from the South, which made it easy. And so I don't know.

it just is something that I've really, like, I look forward to it every time I get to do it. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. I know. That's a nice surprise, too. It's really a nice surprise. It's just so nice the way this, like, second act of your life is working out for you. Well, let's hope because that's another, that's another one of my mental problems. I'm like, oh my God, I'm old. Oh, my God. Like, what if I don't get to work anymore? Oh, my gosh. What if no one wants to come on the podcast? Oh, my gosh. Like, this is what my brain does. And so, and it's hard. Like, I have, five kids at home and now no kids at home. You know there's like a there's like a great solution that I always do whenever I have like a negative thought pattern or and it's from that book that I always

talk about called Letting Go by David Hawkins, which is whenever you have a thought, there's always a direct opposite thought. Like when is someone going to come on? What if no one wants to come on my podcast? The opposite thought is what if everyone wants to come on my podcast? What if I don't have enough space for everybody? And if you just flip to the opposite, it works. if you keep doing it. And so that's a good little hack that I use when I'm like, even if I'm not, like, if I have to go do something that I don't want to do, I'm like, yeah, you do, you want to go. Look how excited it.

Look how great it's going to be when you get there. You're going to light up the whole place and everything's going to be so much fun and you're going to have a good time. And then by the time I get there, I'm in a good mood about it. Okay. So it's a good trick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can remind her, remind her, please.

She deals with me most. The newest tracks. Let's go. New music. And the next big thing. Always on the new music first. Your first place to hear it all. Because you don't like it, love,

or want to play it twice. Playing now. Iheart new music. Your digital station for brand new drops, fresh vines, and tomorrow's bangers. I think we need something new. Discover I heart new music. Always fresh.

Always first. Stream now on the free Iheart radio app. Another podcast from some SNL. late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and headwriter, Streeter Seidel,

help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. The worst singer in the group? The worst? Yeah. Me. Is there anything to the idea that because you're from Harvard, you only got in because your parents made a huge donation. The yard birds, right?

That's the name. The Harvard Yard, but they're open. Do you have a name suggestion? We're open. Since you guys are middle-aged, one erection. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Huber me. I need some jokes to make me seem funny.

Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only. legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds.

I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My mother-in-law spent years sabotaging our relations. until karma made her pay for it. Wait a minute, Dakota. How bad did it get? Well, it got bad enough that her son-in-law had to eventually arrest her himself.

Oh. She moved in for two weeks, lasted for five. She left nail clippings in the bathtub, candy stuck to the furniture, and then she pressed her ear against the bedroom door and burst in screaming. She did not burst in while they were... She did. They kicked her out and paid for her hotel, and they thought, it's finally over.

Days later, she called her son-in-law at work, claiming that his partner had been in some kind of freak accident and had been rushed to. to the hospital in an ambulance. He called every hospital in the city, and his partner was making coffee the entire time. She faked a medical emergency just to test whether or not he loved her son? Yeah. And she sat in the hospital parking lot, waiting for him to see if he would show up.

When that didn't work, she walked into the son-in-loss police station and filed a kidnapping report against him. She filed a kidnapping report against him in his own police station. And spoilers, karma's going to show up in the best way possible. So if you want to hear how this story ends, Search OK Storytime on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you're listening to podcasts. Are we going to take some callers?

We're ready to take some callers. We have live call in. And you're the only mother in this room. So we might have to defer to you on a couple of things. So Sarah says, Dear Chelsea, hello, I'm a 20-year-old college student who would love advice on what to look for in a partner. I have dated in the past and I'm drawn to boys who need me to fix them. And I'm quite frankly over it. What green flags are there to look for when it comes?

comes to men and should I start dating older men, if anything? Kindly, Sarah. It's a pretty general question. Yeah. Pretty broad question. I don't think you should limit to anyone who you're dating. I think you should have like a good practice for dating is just being as open as possible, not gearing it towards young men or older men or black guys or white guys. Well, I mean, I take that back. I prefer black guys, quite frankly. But I think it's just good to practice dating as in general and avoiding the patterns. that you've created. Like when you notice a pattern in your behavior, then just stop doing that. Like if you're going to avoid anyone, it's anyone who needs fixing. And green flags, if you're

dealing with people that need to be fixed, a green flag is somebody who has their shit together, somebody who has a job, who is, you know, showing initiative and being assertive about you and spending time with you and going out with you, not you being a mom. Like, that's not sexy for anyone in a romantic dynamic. Nobody wants to feel like a mother. I don't want to be telling you what to do. So I think all you have to do for me is avoid that feeling. As soon as you feel like your parenting or your mommying, then you want to just exit out of that. And that's your red flag. And then you're going to notice what the green flags are. As soon as you say no to the red flags, you're going to notice the things that you're welcoming. But as soon as you feel that feeling, and I know exactly what you're

talking about. I don't like it either. I'm not attracted when I have to be like a mommy. I don't want to be your mommy. Tish, what do you think? I'm definitely guilty of that of being okay with that. Being a mother too. Being a mother in a relationship. Yes. And that is one thing, another thing that I've definitely learned is that I do not need to be that. Right. And how like freeing that is. Exactly. It's also freeing. What's freeing is also to be taken care of by someone. When someone It cares for you and is looking after you and doing nice things that you didn't ask them to do. And then that whole dynamic shifts and you realize what's on the other side of it, which is much sexier than being with someone who you have to direct. Yep.

What do you think about the dating an older man part of it? I mean, yeah, you could date an older man, but like those guys can be messes too. Totally. Just because they're older doesn't mean they have more of their shit together. It may seem like they have their shit together because they have more experience, but they can have their own set of problems. So I don't think you need to focus on an age. I think you need to focus on the way you feel when you're out with a man. Totally.

When you're in a relationship with a man, you're feeling like even from what Tish you've talked about just today, the feeling that you had from your previous relationship moving into this is like you've been reborn, basically. Yeah. And it was nice because I took care of everybody for so long. Like truly just took care of everything and everyone and to now feel like someone's taking care of me and every aspect of my life is incredible. I love it. Yeah. So Katie is 37. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm in my late 30s, married and have three young kids, ages one, three and five.

My mom, who's in her 70s, also has her own space in our basement. We moved to a new state three years ago when I was pregnant with my second. I work full time and my husband works in television, so his schedule is very unpredictable, often nights and weekends. When he's home, we divide and conquer well, but I'm also frequently solo parenting. My mom has mobility issues and some brain fog, so I also find myself caring for her in many ways. Between solo parenting, full-time work, and caregiving, I've reached the part where every professional says,

you need self-care. And I want to ask when and how exactly. I've tried making mom friends, but it mostly feels like monitoring kids near each other rather than forming any real connections. I'd love any advice you have for the stage of life, especially how to take care of yourself when there's truly no margin.

Thanks for making me laugh when I'm exhausted. Katie. Hi, Katie. This is our special guest. Tish Cyrus is here. Hi, Katie. Hi. Nice to meet you.

She knows a lot about what you're talking about. Do you want to go first, Tish, about self-care? Totally, which I never did. And I actually would say, make that a priority now because I actually did not. And it is exhausting. I also, like, I was raising five kids. in a crazy, crazy world. You know, my husband at the time was also working, and I was doing most of it alone.

My mom also lived with us. And so I, you know, she helped me, but I also cared for her as well. And really, there was, like, in my mind, there was really no time for me. And I wish so bad that I had made time, especially. I love what you just said about, like, you even feel like with the friends that you make. it's more just like kids play dates and, you know, things like that because now it's crazy because I really, I'm feeling lame at this moment in my life because I literally will meet someone out and I'm like, I really need friends. Like can we like do something? Like I'm literally trying to

make friends now at 58. And I wish so bad that at the time that you're in in your life that I would have taken time to do self-care and to build a friend group that was there to support me. not just support like the play dates. So I think for you, I know how hard that is because when you have that many kids and you're caring for your parent and you're doing most of it alone, it's hard to find the time. But I do think it's so important, even if it's just getting some time when your husband is around and able to help, like to read a book or take a bath or, you know, go be with a friend for an hour. Yeah. And get out of the house away from the kids for an hour. Do you have that ability to leave the house for like an hour a day?

Is that a possibility for you? It is on the days that my husband is home. Right. So like if we can make our schedules kind of line up, then yeah, I can do that. Well, that could be one of the first points that you make is whenever he is home, you have an hour. And what you decide to do with that is up to you. Like you take, I mean, not just an hour. It can be as long as you trust him with the children.

I guess the better way to say it. But like hit up one of these women to go. for a walk without the kids and see if you have anything going on between you two then, you know? I know it's easier to do stuff with the kids when they're that age and you kind of have to, but also find out if you have anything in common with these women outside of the children. And if you do, great. And if you don't, great, then you know that. Then you know they're just like your kids' parent friends and you can do stuff together then. You can even take the one year old or the three year old or I guess the one year old on a walk with you. But like just to separate yourself

from like all of your duties as a mother, I think geographically is important, like to get out of the house, to go out to dinner, you know, with a group of women or one or two women at the very minimum, just to be away from all of the stuff that you're dealing with because you need to recharge your batteries.

So self-care doesn't have to be like you're meditating every day. You know, that can be great for certain people, but it doesn't have to be like a prescription. It can be whatever makes you feel good in the moment. And I know exercising and moving your body, and getting out of the house when you're a mother are two really important ingredients. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that those are the things I miss the most, honestly, is, you know, being able to move around and not have, you know, a child trying to jump on top of me at the same time. Totally. Right. And also something to remember is, so like make that agreement. And even if you're going for a walk alone, that's fucking great. Like, better to be, like, I would prefer to go for a walk alone.

I'm not into walking with people. I don't understand what that even means. I found out about that during. because everyone wanted to go for a fucking walk. I'm like, I don't want to go for a walk with someone. Like, I want to listen to a podcast or listen to music and do my own thing. But I like people for other things, not that. So, but even if it's just you saying that's your husband on the days that you can when he

is home, just start the practice of asking for a time and a little space that's reasonable. And also remember, this is temporary. You're not going to have a one, three, and five year old for the rest of your life. So the better you have, like the better ability you have to recharge your batteries to be present for all of it and all of the chaos, the better you're going to feel, the better you're going to show up as a mom when you are tired, the better you're going to show up as a partner. And the better memories you're going to have in six months, in three years and six years. And it goes fast because I remember just praying. Oh my gosh, when are they going to be 18? Like when is this going to be over? Right. After number five. And now, I look back and think, oh my God, it went so fast. Like, it really does, even though I can feel your vibe in this moment, it doesn't feel that way. But she's right. Like, it won't be this chaotic forever. You know what you should do is pick up a book. I just read this book. It's a great book.

It's called The Correspondent. Pick that up and make that your first gift to yourself. Get that book. Start reading it. It's a real easy read. It's really good. You're going to like it. every woman will like this book. And just give that as a gift to yourself. And when your husband's around, just say, I need an hour alone. I'm going to go to the park and read the book or you're going to go to your room, wherever you want to go. I would say get out of the house and just go find somewhere to read a book for an hour. And that gift alone that you give yourself will start leading to new ways and new ideas for you to kind of pour more water in your cup. Okay. Yeah, that's a great idea. I feel like, you know, sometimes you get kind of guilty being like

like, oh, I shouldn't want to, you know, spend time away from my kids when I don't have as much time with them because they're in daycare if I'm working and stuff like that. But I do think that it'll help me bond with them better when we are together if I do have a little more time for myself. Yeah. And there's also something about like filling up your brain with different information than the information you're circulating and recirculating all day with your kids because it's a lot of the same shit all the time. So it's like you can go have a break. And read a book, fill your brain up with someone else's story and someone else's life that's thought provoking, that gets you out of your head and that's like building your kind of, you know,

brain power, chemistry, your neurotransmitters, like, it's all good for you. So like make sure, like make that your first thing. And then if you love that, then get another book and make sure you're asking for the time that you need because no one's going to give you anything that you don't ask for. Totally. You know, so you really have to advocate for yourself. Act like you're in a mental hospital and you're your advocate. It feels like that sometimes, so I think I can do that. Yes. And I mean, your husband, is he a reasonable guy?

Like, will he get this and understand it? Yeah, I think so. He tries to help out when he's around. It's just, you know, the kids are usually like, mommy, mommy, mommy. Yeah. You know, I think maybe getting away, like if I'm not physically there, it might be easier for him too because they're not always trying to go for me. Yes, exactly.

And that will help their bond too, because then they'll spend more time with their father and then they'll start to lean on him in a more equal way. So it's like going to work for everyone. It's just like AA. It works if you work it. Totally. All right. Thanks. Yeah. I think that's good advice. Okay. All right. Well, hit us back. Let us know how you like the book. And then we'll give you books to read if you need more books to read. Oh yeah, for sure. I would love that. Oh, yeah. That's a great. That would be awesome. Okay. All right. Thanks so much, Katie. Bye, Katie. Thank you. Bye. I'm going to hear, you know, I was watching someone at the airport and they had four kids traveling.

And I'm just like, oh my God, fucking four strollers and four. That's too much. But that is way too much. But also it's just like, tell me if I'm wrong about this. I feel like once you have two, you may as well have five. Or is it once you have three, you may as well have five. I think you have three. Three, yeah, because two to three is a big difference.

My mom always says like after three, it's like basically more of the same. We were four. Totally. Yeah. And then they can help occupy the. each other and start playing with each other. But getting out of a one-year-old, like that's the youngest, that is very hard. It is.

Heart age to make them independent. She's definitely got her hands full. Celebrate your pride with the station that's as bold, vibrant, and diverse as you are. I-Hart Pride Canada. From dance anthems to pop icons and hits from 2SLGBTQ Plus Canadian artists. It's the soundtrack that keeps life loud and proud. Just ask your smart speaker to play I-Hart Pride Canada. us on your phone or listen now at iHeartRadio.ca. Come together, celebrate love. Pride. Feel it all year long.

Let's go. With Iheart Pride Canada. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guide, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends, me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman, help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an Acapella band with their between songs banter. There's the worst singer in the group? The worst? Yeah. Me.

Is there anything to the idea that because you're from Harvard, you only got in because your parents made a huge donation. The group. The yard birds, right? That's the name. The Harvard Yardt. They're open. Do you have a name suggestion?

We're open. Since you guys are middle-aged. One erection. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Human me! I need some jokes to make me seem funny. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged.

It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My mother-in-law spent years sabotaging our relationship until karma made her pay for it. Wait a minute, Dakota. How bad did it get? Well, it got bad enough that her son-in-law had to eventually arrest her himself. Oh.

She moved in for two weeks, lasted for five. She left nail clippings in the bathtub, candy stuck to the furniture, and then she pressed her ear against the bedroom door and burst in screaming. She did not burst in while they were. She did. They kicked her out and paid for her hotel,

and they thought, it's finally over. Days later, she called her son-in-law at work, claiming that his partner had been in some kind of freak accident and had been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. He called every hospital in the city, and his partner was making coffee the entire time. She faked a medical emergency just to test whether or not he loved her son? Yeah, and she sat in the hospital parking lot,

waiting for him to see if he would show up. When that didn't work, to the son-in-law's police station and filed a kidnapping report against him. She filed a kidnapping report against him in his own police station. And spoilers, karma's going to show up in the best way possible. So if you want to hear how this story ends, search OK story time on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you're listening to podcasts. So Elizabeth says, Dear Chelsea, I'm writing to you today for advice on how to shrug off a man who isn't worth it

when he's stuck in your life indefinitely. I was married for over 10 years until I found out he'd been having a series of affairs and cheating for half that time. Ultimately, he wouldn't change his behavior, so I left. Here's where it gets complicated. We have a small child together. We have shared custody and our co-parenting, and we're both determined not to fuck up our kid with our issues, so we don't let that drama get in the way. We actually co-parent quite well. We communicate, we can trade days or cover each other when we need to. We can each attend school extracurricular events and be around each other for the sake of our kid. What I need advice on is how to get. my heart out of the way. We've been divorced for a year now. I threw myself into healing and moving on. I've done all the things. Therapy, new hobbies, travel. I've dated, had casual hookups, and I put myself out there. But damn, if my heart isn't still broken, every time I have to talk to my ex and see him. He still has the parts of him I fell in love with all those years ago. I just get this sense of loss and longing for what I thought I had. What do I do? I can't just stop seeing him or speaking to him like any other breakup where you can get a clean break. He'll be around for my son's entire life. Any advice? Any advice? I can't. I can't just

on how to take the emotional sting out of this and stop nurturing a broken heart for this guy who doesn't deserve it. My brain says screw that guy, but my heart doesn't know what to do with a love I had for him for a decade, Elizabeth. I know, I know. This is a tough one. It is. Well, what do you think? I mean, you have experience with this. I think it's so, I think there was one thing that she said in there that someone kept saying to me. And it was, if you can, like, because she said it's like what I picture that we could have had, like what it could be, that is the thing. It's like, for me, it was really being having to, like, really make my brain focus on how things had gotten, how things were instead of how they should be or could be.

And I don't know that it actually, because when you have kids with someone, I mean, it makes it so much harder. And especially my kids are all older. So there was none of the going back and. forth, they're having to communicate, which I'm sure is so hard. I mean, I don't know how you take the emotion out of it or how you change how you feel, but I think you can look at things in that way of like you know how it could have been, if only this. But, you know, those kind of fantasy, you know, and the fantasy of what is your reality and what reality, that was the hardest

part for me. And also, you have to move into acceptance. Totally. You have to accept that the relationship is over. Yeah. And there's a new book that everyone's talking about strangers, which is that woman wrote about this very thing, her husband cheating on her, the dissolution of their marriage, all of it. And how she had to basically reconcile, because people automatically assume that when a partner cheats, you fall out of love with them. She said that. And she's like, I didn't. I still loved him. And I had to deal with, A, you have to accept the situation at face value. There is no more relationship. It's over.

So what you thought was going to be there is not there. But what's ahead could be even more beautiful than what you had. So it's really important. I mean, we're sitting here with like a perfect living example with Tish about how wonderful her life has become in the second chapter that she didn't want or expect or was planning for, you know. Not at all.

And look how happy she is and vibrant. Like you have to be, you have to accept the situation for what it is because before that happens, Until that happens, you're not going to be shown what else is possible in your life. Right. And I think like in Elizabeth's situation, like the idea of happily ever after with this person wasn't even the reality when she was with this person. That's the key. Right? It was like there was all this drama and all this turmoil. So like the idea of what it would have been would have been more of that in reality. Exactly. And getting stuck in this kind of romantic idealization

and kind of fantasy is just, I think, a sign of you really needing to get grounded and getting grounded in the reality of your situation and moving forward because really anything is possible in your life. Anything is as soon as you cut these heartstrings, you know, and just start to look at him for what he is, which is your children's father, and that's it. Yeah. Yeah. And I think once she does meet someone that she actually does care about, it's going to start to undo a lot of that, you know? I think it undo a lot of that. I think it undoes that. And also I think her child is maybe younger too.

And then the relationship you can have with his father or your ex will be so much better and clearer and what that actually is. And everybody, it's so hard to believe when you're in it that things can get better that there is someone else for you out there. but yeah, I think when you kind of just, like you said, get grounded in reality of what is is when you actually can move forward and bring great things into your life. Yeah. You know? Yeah. So good luck to you.

Keep us posted also. We always like to hear feedback. And Tish, are you writing a book? Have you started writing your book? I was saying I need to do, mine will need to be a trilogy because there is so much, like so much. like so much, but I do need to do that. Yeah, but you need to enjoy yourself. Totally.

Like, I am all for you just having a great old time. I'm me too. And just fucking kicking back and doing whatever the fuck you feel like. I know. I've got to figure out what that is. I'm on it. I'm on it. We'll start just by having sex with Dominic.

Not that you haven't started that, but just continue. That part's easy. Yeah, that part's easy. Thank you, Tish, for being with us. Thanks for having me. Love having you. And check out Saria Rosairis, right? Check out, Sorry, We're Cyrus.

That is a podcast with Tish and Brandy, her daughter, Brandy, that I have been on as well and had a great time talking to you, girls. Yeah, it's so fun. And like I said, it's my favorite thing, so help me. If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of IHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flashcadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law.

Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea Live at Chelseahandler.com. Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel,

help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged.

It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, Embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

My mother-in-law spent years sabotaging our relationship until Karma made her pay for it. All right, Sophia, tell me about how we started this story. She moved in for two weeks, lasted five days, left a mess, and then pressed her ear against their bedroom door and burst in screaming. When kicked out to a hotel, she called her Sondela's workplace pretending his partner had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance. She faked a medical emergency.

And spoiler, that was just the beginning. To find out how it ends, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Robert from the Stuff to Blow Your Mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fan, so we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun,

thought-provoking Star Wars-related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of tontons and wampas on the ice planet hot, or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith rule of two. Listen to stuff to blow your mind on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.