Dear Chelsea - Is OnlyFans Cheating? with Anna Roisman

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

Comic and host of the Big Wigs podcast Anna Roisman is in with Chelsea this week to chat about flying commercial dressed as Kris Jenner, why D&D almost destroyed her relationship, and how delusion can bring you the life of your dreams.  Then: A reality show producer struggles with a sabbatical.  A cheating co-worker gets found out. And a girlfriend wonders if she should overlook her honey’s 0nlyFans habit. * Check out Anna’s podcast Big Wigs here! * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Hi, Chelsea. Hi. We just had a beautiful three days of skiing. Lovely. And Doug, Doug is in doggy daycare. My friend told me

about this dog walker and she's like, oh yeah, she's great. I send my dog once a week and so the dog walker. And she's like, oh, yeah, she's great. I send my dog once a week. And so the dog walker came over to my house. And I'm like, how many days are possible? She's like, we do it seven days a week. I'm like, I'll take five.

He needs a lot of fucking exercise, this dog. And he is such a moose. He's like, my sister said it's a cross between a gorilla and a, was it a lion? I was going to say, he's got a lion's, like a full lion's mane. I know. He's so funny looking. Oh my God. So now I'm training him. I'm training him. I have a parenting coach. I have a dog walker and I'm also taking parenting classes with my friend for her kids. It takes a village, Chelsea. So I am literally deep in, I don't know what has happened in my life,

but I'm learning a lot and a lot of really good stuff about parenting in case I ever have to parent a vagabond, which apparently I do. Yeah. I mean, the thing is a tired dog is a good dog. So getting him in playdates and everything, that's perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's very friendly. She sent me a text, the dog walker, and she said, he is one of the most compassionate, compassionate, caring dogs I've ever met. And I'm like, what a funny thing to say about a dog, compassionate. How did he demonstrate that compassion? Whose soul is in him?

It must be an old soul. I don't know. Maybe it's my mom. No, it's definitely not my mom. She wouldn't be like that. But anyway, it's pretty cute. And Bernice is really perking up. She tries to play with him and then she like barks at him.

And it's pretty cute. They have a nice relationship. And it'll keep changing too. It's like they say like the first three days, the dog is like adjusting. The first three weeks, they're like getting to know whoever else is in the house. And the first three months, like after three months, they're sort of like in the home. And, you know, even today, like Mimsy and Wendell are like snuggling and they just started doing that this week. And it's just lovely. That is cute. Yeah. So yeah, I had a full house this weekend in Whistler. I had about nine people sleeping at my house and my house doesn't

really fit nine people. So it was close quarters and fun. And a lot of my friends, I've just, it's like a daycare here. There's just kids running through my house all the time. It's so funny. But you love a teenager. And you know what? Teenagers, I think, love you too, because you're not afraid to talk about the stuff like their parents won't talk about with them. Anyway. So I have shows this weekend. That's what I'm doing. I have a show tonight in Saskatoon. So I'm heading out soon. And then I have a show tomorrow night in Winnipeg, Canada. And then we added another Sydney show.

We added another Vancouver show. Awesome. And we're adding a bunch of shows. Well, Los Angeles has floated away over the last several days. That's what's happening over here. Was it really bad? The river, the LA River is like a monster. It's crazy.

And apparently a lot of parts in the valley are totally flooded. Oh, God. I don't know. It would rain for a week last week, so there was no skiing here. Now it's sunny, but it's like an ad for climate change, the mountain. It's so bare, and you're like, I mean, you can ski, but it's like, it's not what it's supposed to be. So yeah, that's a bummer. Anyway, we have a very funny guest on the show today. She's a comedian. She's a hot mess. I met her on Instagram as I meet all my young lovers. And you should follow her because she does really good impersonation of

Kris Jenner. That's how I first found her. But she does a lot of impersonations. Her name is Anna Roisman. Hi, Anna. Hi. Where are you, Anna? I'm in New York. Oh, is this where you hail from, New York? I hail from Philadelphia.

But yeah, I'm in New York mostly right now. Katherine, I don't know if you're familiar with Anna in the way that I am, but I found her. I discovered her because she does these ridiculous impersonations of the Kardashians. Well, Chris, well, Chris really, Jenner, right, is the one that from the Kardashians. Do you do all of them or do you just Chris? I just do Chris. I can probably do the other ones, but. Yeah. Well, you do a lot of, you do Steve from Sex and the City. You do a lot of other impersonations too. But what caught my eye was the Kris Jenner

one because I forwarded it to Kris Jenner. I was like, have you seen this fucking girl? You look like an asshole. I died. I know. I flew across the country as her, which was psychotic. That's really, really funny. But you do a great impersonation. And I like any impersonations of all the because there's so many TikTok, Instagram impersonations of all the Kardashians. And some are obviously cream of the crop. So kudos to you, Anna. And I know you're a comedian. I saw you at my, one of my shows at the Beacon. We met there. Yes. Which was so fun. That was a killer show. Oh, thank you. So you're a comic and I'm just learning about you and I want to learn more about you. Thanks. First of all, I'm so honored to be on here. And I just have to say,

when you shared that Kris Jenner video last year, I was in like my darkest time ever. And I literally said to my boyfriend, I'm going to, I'm going to just, I want to go to the airport as Kris, like she would never fly a commercial. This will be so funny. And then I obviously thought I'd do it for like 20 minutes and I stayed in it the whole flight. And then you shared it and I was like, it was worth it. He wanted to kill me. We're like on the plane and I'm wigged. And I'm like, excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom. Like I'm like walking down the aisles. And when you shared it and I was like, it was worth it. He wanted to kill me. We're like on the plane and I'm wigged and I'm like, excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom. Like I'm like walking down the aisles. And when you shared it, I was like, I cried. I was just like, oh my God, so many people were so nice to me. They were like, I don't know you did this, blah, blah, blah. So thank you. You really picked me up at a bad time. Oh, well, I'm happy to listen. Every time we're in a dark

place. This has happened to me so many times in my life. A stranger literally will come out of the fucking sky and tell you how much you mean to them or do something that lifts you up. That is like the way the world works. Like the universe has your back. Like just when you think you're not, you don't have it anymore. Someone will say, you changed my life or you did this or they do that. So you always have to pay attention to those things. That's something I used to think was corny. And now as an older woman in the midst, in the mid sunset of my life, I love all the signs

that you get that are reminders of like, you're on the right track. Everything is only temporary. When you're going through a bad phase, that's only a bad phase. It doesn't have to be permanent and it won't be permanent whether you want it to be or not. Yeah, it's so true. Do you like when people come up to you out of the blue and they're like, you know, whether you want it to be or not. Yeah, it's so true. Do you like when people come up to you out of the blue and they're like, you know, when you're out to dinner or something and they stop you? I mean, I don't mind. I don't really care.

As long as people don't ask me to get up when I'm like seated at a dinner table. Like I once had a guy, like I've had many guys do this. Go, come over here. It's like I'm a prostitute or something. I mean, that's not even okay for a prostitute, really. It's like, why would I get up for my dinner with my fucking family when I'm spending to go take a pic? What do you think I work for you? It's just so stupid. The other thing is when people try to take

pictures in bathrooms, I try to deter people from that behavior. But I do find that it's always a nice message when you're feeling down or something bummed you out or you heard something you didn't like about yourself. There's always a reinforcement right around the corner to validate you and tell you like you are loved. And that is happening all the time in my life right now. So I I'm very attuned to it. So I would advise you to pay attention to those things, too. Yeah. Yeah. I had a guy once messaged me on Instagram after me, like, I just saw you walking around New York and I didn't say hi because you were much shorter than I thought you'd be. I was like, okay. One of the dumbest things people say to you. You're so small. Everyone, you're so small in

person. I'm like, I'm sorry that that, thank you. I think, thank you. Or you're so much prettier. You're so much prettier in person. I love that one. You're like, okay. How big and ugly was I online on a screen for you? I know. I know. So what's your story, Anna? Tell me how you got into comedy and what you want to do and where you're headed. I mean, how I got into comedy.

It's funny. I grew up thinking I'd be a very serious Broadway actress. Well, you look like you could be a veterinarian, a doctor. You look like a more serious person than you are. Thank you. It's just the glasses, you know? And they gave me a complex when I first started auditioning. My agents literally would say like, hey, so this one, they actually want someone funny. So make sure you wear your glasses. And I was like, the Tina Fey effect? Like what? I was like, and then they'd be like, actually, they're looking for a pretty girl. So if you could just wear contacts for this audition. And then I'd be like, who am I? They do that much to your face? No, I thought I'd be a Broadway

actress. I moved to New York City and I was like, they're waiting for me. I am a singer. I am here. I think the first sign should have been I didn't go to college for musical theater. So like, you know, I went for TV production and I wrote a lot and I did theater, but I didn't like study it. My parents were like, wait, why do you have to go to college to sing? We don't need that. That's not a real degree. And then I went to New York and everyone was like trained. And I was like, oh, shit, I'm not. I'm not one of these. Like, wait, no one else wore like a leather jacket and sneakers to this audition. They're all in like character shoes and like dresses. And I felt so out of place. And I started taking classes at UCB and I like

met some cool people. And I was like, oh, these are like more people like me, you know, a room full of people who start in their high school theater and then moved to New York thinking they'd be a star and they're in an improv class. I don't know. It's funny how so many of us think like, wait till I get like, that's how I felt when I moved to LA when I was 19. I was like, wait till they see me. I was like, wait until everybody gets a load of this. I know. Like so delusional, but also, you know, kind of not. It's kind of nice to think that highly of yourself. You need to be delusional to do something like that, to move to one of those things. Exactly. You have to be like, I'm going to be the biggest star, whatever the fuck you think you're doing.

I mean, my goalposts are always like moving based on what I'm doing because I really have no long-term plan. I'm always just very in the moment, like, oh, what looks like fun this year? But I like that. I like that hubris. Yeah, right. And how are you finding, like, let's talk about like fun this year? But I like that. I like that hubris. Yeah, right. And how are you finding like, let's talk about the industry and like being a woman and being a comedian and having all of these things. Like, how have you found your way in? How old are you?

I'm old. I'm 37. Okay, well, I'm 48. So why don't you shut the fuck up? Wait, I listened to Z-Way's episode and I was like, should I just say 19? Like she's going to ask me, should I just say it? I never say it. What about Z-Way? What a bitch. Z-Way.

I was like, Z-Way, you're a fucking asshole. She lied to me about her age. A, hook, line, and sinker, by the way. I fucking fell for it. I was like, I usually know bullshit, but I was like, I don't know. And I was sober that day. I wasn't even stoned, Catherine. So it's almost like when I'm sober, I'm at a disadvantage. You know what I mean? Like for me to level up, I've got to either

have an edible or a cocktail. I love it. But yeah, Ziwe, for everyone listening, she was our guest and she said she was 19 and I believed her. And then we share the same manager. So afterward, I was like, I can't believe Ziwe's 19. And she said, she's not, you idiot. Of all the people she could have lied to, you stuck it? I was like, oh, whoopsie. She would have gotten her Showtime show at like 16, started writing for Deedless and Mero at like 13. Yeah, I know. Well, kudos to her for being believable.

You know, you gotta give credit. Young and beautiful. I did think I'd be that successful by 19. You know, I was like, there's no way I'm gonna be an adult and I'm not like rich yet. And here we are. I remember having this age line and I remember I used to look at how old Jennifer Aniston was when she got friends, because that was my age threshold. And she was 32, I believe. So I remember going like, okay, I have until 32 because I waited tables for like seven or eight years. And I was very, I was good at it, but I was, you know, a big bitch. So a lot of people, you know, there was a lot of arguments and confrontations. I was the worst server too. I did it for seven

years. I was fine with the service and like being effective and like quick and I could remember everything. I just didn't want the human interaction. Like the people were like, I was just like, don't talk to me. You know what I mean? Like, I'm going to get you your food. Like, let's not get it twisted. I would lie to tables. They'd order a certain wine. And if it wasn't a twist off, I'd be like, oh, I think we're like out of it. I actually, I recommend this one. They'd be like, you're supposed to upsell. I'm like, I just want to do the ones that twist off. I really hate opening wine at the table. I did the same thing at Chaya Brasserie in Venice, California. I couldn't open bottles of wine. Like I just would fuck it up. So I told

the staff at Chaya Venice that I was allergic to grapes so that I wasn't allowed to serve wine. There is no grape allergy. Like no one has it, but I didn't know that. And neither does anybody else. Oh my God. Ziwe probably has a grape allergy actually. She definitely does. Yeah, that's so funny. It's like, I'm not gonna bring a tray with a bottle and a bunch of glasses over and not fuck that up. I'm not domesticated.

No. And I also would never pick up more than one plate at a time. Yeah. Like I'm sorry. You come over, but take one plate and then come back five minutes later. So what has your experience, back to that question,

what has been your experience navigating this industry? Because it's a totally different medium than when I came up because you know, you're very well known from your social stuff. And it's different now. Like it's not like you get fame necessarily for being on television. Yeah, it's crazy. I started to feel that like the video bug I feel like a long time ago when I first started doing stand up, which was like 10 years ago I guess and I would do shows and then there would be some shitty shows where I'm like oh they give me like six minutes all these fucking gross guys who have nothing nice they don't even like bring you up on stage properly and I was like or I could make a video and it could go viral on YouTube and that would be so funny and hundreds of thousands of people

would see it instead of the 20 people at this comedy club in New York. So I don't know. I started doing that like a while ago and I sort, I loved it. And then I guess I hosted a game show. I don't know if you know this. I hosted a game show for three years that like changed my life. No. What's it called? It was called HQ trivia. It was like on your phone and it was super popular. It was like twice a day. It was live. Millions of people would tune in. We had like celebrities host, like The Rock hosted once. Like it was, it was crazy.

And it was like four or 500,000 people a night playing this game that I would host. And it just ended like a year and a half ago. It came back in the pandemic, but that was on an app. And so like, I was like posting every night about that. And then in the pandemic, I just I accidentally did an impression and that went viral. It was an accident. I didn't plan it at all. And it went kind of viral.

And then the L.A. Times called me a TikToker. And I was like, oh, my God, so much pressure. You're like, oh, I know. I didn't even I don't know if I had to. I might have had like done a couple things on TikTok, but nothing major. And I was like, wow, I guess they didn't do the research. I'm just a TikToker to the LA Times now. That's cool. And I just I leaned in, you know, I started making more videos daily, like a crazy person. You know, the fact that my boyfriend hasn't left yet and he's

filmed a lot of my videos is a blessing. What's the story with your boyfriend? How long have you guys been together? We've been together almost eight years, which sounds like too long. That's so long. People gave up after you're three or four. They're like, why aren't you getting married yet? No, they don't even. That's not even a question.

You know, you're not getting. Are you not into the marriage? I never cared. I was never obsessed with marriage. I never wanted kids. My mom is like, she's your hero. Chelsea's your hero. Because like I have nieces now and I'm like, they think I'm the coolest person in the world.

And I love that role. And I'm like, I never wanted my own kids. You know, I love being like, OK, good night. Bye. Now your parents deal. Yeah. So my boyfriend and I and that was something I told him straight up. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend. I had gotten out of a breakup and it was like a couple of years of me just,

I was like the 40 year old virgin again. Like it was so fun being single. Cause I was with someone for eight years from like college to 27. So you're a, you're a, you're a, you like long-term relationships. I guess. Yeah. what you want, because I think that's such an issue for so long. I think women for so long were held so back, you know, and like housewives and da da da, that you're like, you don't even think you have a choice. You just do what you're supposed to do. So now to see all these women, like, no, I'm not getting married. I'm not having children. That's not for me. It's very like, it's just a sign of like the times that we live in. And there's, it feels like there's like some sort of female awakening that's been at play for the last, you know, 50 years. And we're cruising into this really sweet spot, especially abutting up against Roe v. Wade being overturned and the way

men are and, you know, how stupid most of them can act at times and embarrassing it is as a society that men get away with such nonsense behavior. And we are, we're like, we're over here. We've had our shit together this whole time and nobody has been giving us the wheel to drive. So true. Yeah. That's really refreshing. How do you feel about children the same way you feel about getting married? Yeah. I never wanted kids. I love kids, kids like me, but I never wanted to have kids of my own. So you say. I mean, do you have proof that children like you? Yes, because I always have candy on me and my sister's three-year-old thinks I'm like the fucking God. Or a child molester.

I always have candy on me. Watch out. I actually, speaking of child molesting, I got a ride home from a child last night. I flew in from L this is so ridiculous. I flew in from L.A. to Whistler. I'm back in my – I have a little ski situation in Whistler that I'm obsessed with skiing. Yeah. So I came back yesterday, and I stopped at my friend's house, which is like 40 minutes away. And she had dinner and friends over.

And then everyone kind of fell asleep. But I'm like, well, I don't want to sleep here. Like I just got home. I want to go to my bed. And this like 19 year old kid was like, I'll drive you to a Whistler. It's like 40 minutes. And I was like, are you? Are you? I was like, how old are you? Can you drive in the snow? He's like, I'm 19. And I was like, okay. And then I like, you know, observed him for a good 45 seconds and thought, yeah, actually this is the guy I want to drive me home. You were like, let me set you up with Z-Way. I know another 19 year old. I only hang out with 19 year olds these days. So I want to

introduce you to someone. But yeah, he drove me home and it was really cute. I had my dog Bernice because my friend was dog sitting and he drove me home and it's like a 40 minute drive. And yeah, it was really funny. I was like, he's like, I can give you a ride anytime you need one. I'll be in touch. You have a new driver in Whistler. I know I have a new 19 year old driver. That's something I would totally do. Well, and he's not legal drinking age, so he's definitely likely to be sober. He doesn't drink at all. We talked about lots of drugs and alcohol on the way home. Yeah. He doesn't, a lot of kids don't drink now. It's weird. It's funny. They're all straight edge.

They're not into it because they think alcohol is like, you know, it's seen its finest hour. There's so many other avenues to explore with mushrooms and microdosing. And I think people are more on that train. Yes, because these days think that alcohol is boomer technology, is what they call it. And I think that's just great. Am I a boomer? I'm the opposite of a boomer, but I am a boomer probably. No, I think I'm younger than a boomer. By the way, Catherine, I like that merch hat, that Dear Chelsea hat, you guys.

I needed a black hat today, and here we are. That's so cute. Where's our merch? At ChelseaHandler.com? At ChelseaHandler.com. Okay, quick shout out to merch. Okay, Anna, so you know, okay, did you get the lowdown of what we're doing today? We're basically going to have fun with our callers. They call in for real shit and we give them real advice. I can't wait. I know. I've listened. Okay, great.

All right. So we need to take a break and then we're going to be right back. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth.

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Okay, and we're back. We are back. We're back. Okay, Anna. These are all going to be centered around things that you have something to do with or you've talked about. And so. Okay. Are you comfortable with questions about anal penetration, Anna?

Absolutely. Yeah. Perfect. There is one about porn. So that's why I was like, wait, they're not all about you. But did you know I post my ass all over Instagram? I saw it. I know that you wake up and do anal every morning.

I mean, anyone worth their salt does that. That's the first thing on the menu. I promised my Instagram followers when Pennsylvania turned blue, I would do 10 photos of my ass on Instagram. And it did. And I was like, I love when we can combine politics and sex. That's my favorite. Two of my favorite topics, interpersonal relationships. Well, I like the emotional psychodrama that goes with it, too. But I love sex and I love politics. There you go. You would love that post. Yeah, I think my ass turned Pennsylvania blue. I did it. It's like the opposite of blue balls. It's like blue ass. Smurf ass. Well, very appropriately, this email starts, am I the asshole?

Probably. Zan says, dear Chelsea, am I the asshole? That's what I'm needing reassurance on. I was in a relationship for six months. We started talking in May, met in June, and became official in August. We ended New Year's Eve. In short, he felt as though I was not integrating into his life. The first incident came in the form of a wedding. In October, he told me his

cousin was getting married in January. It was a big moment for the family, and he wanted me to attend. I told him it made me feel uncomfortable to meet the entire family so soon into the relationship. I felt steps were being skipped, such as meeting individual members beforehand, and given that it's a destination wedding, the cost included felt unreasonable. He did not take it well. Ultimately, I bought a ticket, but he never forgave me for hesitating. The second incident involves his friends. Being 33, I've phased out of the 20-somethings enjoyment of alcohol.

Him being 26, hasn't. Their idea of a good time, as to be expected, always involves drinking. Because of this, I don't fully enjoy the moments we're all together, And when I asked him if there was ever a time he and his friends got together and didn't drink, he couldn't really give me an answer. But he said I was being selfish and uncompromising. I feel like I am and was being rational, but his voice in my head and the accompanying guilt make me question myself. Am I the asshole? Zan. Is Zan a gay man? Zan, yes. Yes. Oh, no, Zan, you're not being an asshole at all. That's like good. You saw the red flags. You identified them. You hesitated. When you didn't want to go to the wedding for the right reasons, there's nothing wrong with being

like circumspect about meeting people's families or being overwhelmed and also the cost that was put into it. No, I don't think you were an asshole at all. I think you were actually had boundaries and were stating them. And you were being told that your boundaries aren't going to be respected. Yeah. Six or seven months, because it sounds like, you know, they started talking in May and this wedding was in January, like six or seven months kind of feels like plenty of time to meet the family. And I get that it's like overwhelming being all at once, but I think it's okay to be uncomfortable, but that feels like pretty

appropriate timeline. Yes, it is appropriate. But if the person doesn't want to do that, then the person doesn't want to do that. You don't, you can't make someone go and you're going to meet my whole family all in one fell swoop. I can imagine a lot of people that would make a lot very nervous. First of all, I wouldn't fucking run towards that wedding because I love shit like that, but I have a different personality type, right? Like, yeah, I get it. Like if that's overwhelming to some people, some people have serious like social anxiety and whatever. I don't know. I think it's valid to not do anything you don't want to do. I agree with you 1000%. I think it's like you were you were honest with this person. If they

made you feel bad, then that's on them. If you're like, hey, I don't know how I feel about meeting your whole family. That's OK. You know, and then, you know, it's not going to work out, I guess, if they can't understand where you your boundaries are. I made my boyfriend meet my parents three weeks into dating. So I'm no one. I'm bad. Yeah, I never have any like rules around that. But also when you ask if you're an asshole, usually the assholes aren't asking that question. Yeah. Okay, so problem solved. Zan, you're not the asshole.

Zan? Zan. Oh, and I wanted to address the drinking thing. That's ridiculous. If Zan doesn't want to have a drink, who gives a shit? Yeah. No one should. What are you in the D.A.R.E. program where they're like, come on, have a drink. Are you not? Are you a loser? You can't hang out with us. Yeah. No one should. What are you in the dare program where they're like, come on, have a drink. Are you not? Are you a loser? You can't hang out with us. No. Yeah, that's too. Right. Right. Yeah. And I think that is just sort of a clear sign that you're not in the same place in life as this other guy. So. Well, thanks. I'm glad Zan got out. Yeah. Yeah.

OK, what's next? Next up. Our next one is a caller, and this is Elena. Elena is currently in Puerto Rico. She's on vacation, but she's calling in. Dear Chelsea, I heard you answer a question about porn in your last interview with Z-Way, and it brought up another question for me. I haven't felt comfortable talking about it because the second a woman brings up porn in any questioning way, I feel like we're labeled as prudes. I'm not against using porn.

I completely believe in and support healthy porn consumption. But I recently found out that my boyfriend of two years has several OnlyFans subscriptions, paying for these girls monthly, even messaging them, talking to them and tipping them for custom nude sets. To me, this feels adjacent to cheating, though obviously not physically. It feels like a betrayal and I was really hurt by it. When we talked about it, he said he didn't think it was a big deal at all and, quote, people in healthy relationships do this all the time. It felt like a shitty response, honestly. My gut says it's not normal or fine. To me, this crosses a line for me with the payment and messaging. Looking at a potential future with him as a possible husband makes me really nervous after this, and I don't want to deal with this type of porn consumption is totally normal and natural. I'd love to hear your advice on this. I so appreciate your show and all of your advice. Elena. Hi, Elena. Hi. Hi. Hi. This is Anna. She's our special guest today, Anna Roisman. Hi, Elena. I'm with you. I don't like that. I'm not into that. Payings, messaging. Yeah,

that's flirting. If it weren't an Oli fan site and he was messaging anyone on the side, wouldn't you be put off by that? That is kind of cheating. It's flirting with another person when you're in supposedly a monogamous... Does he know he's in a monogamous relationship? Yes. And I'd even asked him after I found this out whether or not he wanted to continue a monogamous relationship or do something else. And he doubled down. He said, yes, I would. I want to maintain a monogamous relationship. Of course, because he's getting to watch porn and flirt and tip other women.

No, it's like it's icky. I mean, listen, I might be old fashioned, but I don't think so. I think I'm pretty fucking with it. And it's like that, especially even if he wasn't paying them and he was DMing some girls flirting with them, that would feel bad to you. And for sex, like watching them, whatever they do on OnlyFans, right? Is it all sex or is it just like sometimes you show like your vagina? What happens? I don't have any OnlyFans accounts that I follow. I've been trying to get on it, but I have someone blocked me. No, no. I am all for the girls any OnlyFans accounts that I follow. I've been trying to get on it, but I have someone blocked me. No, no.

I am all for the girls on OnlyFans and so support them. And so does your boyfriend. So that's nice. Very much. Very much. It's mainly honestly just been like nudes from them. It hasn't been like custom videos or anything like that. Yeah, but it's all gross.

Yeah. It's like, I don't know. I want to like support his desires. No, no, no, no, that's that's not Elena. You're too nice. You're being a little naive and you're being a little bit too nice. You don't need to support his porn interest. Right. It's not like he's picking up the guitar or like learning another language. Like that's not your responsibility. A. And like, yes, of course, kudos to anyone who has an OnlyFans account. But if you want your boyfriend or your partner, like that doesn't feel good to you, clearly, because you're calling. And it's just icky behavior. And there's nothing, no, no, I think you need to move on from him. And also, you need to have like a little bit more, a better understanding

of what you are and what you're not willing to like put up with within a relationship. Yeah. Right. I also wanted to say when you called in, you, you, you gave this whole description of like porn and porn, watching porn, putting on porn. I mean, porn, I'm going to say, you know, it's art, right? It's a form of art in a lot of ways. But in OnlyFans, where you're having a connection with someone who's sending you nudes personally, and you paid them for it, that's a different, that's not necessarily porn. You know, that's totally, I mean, people, people are dating online today. You know, that's the same thing as like having these like online relationships. I don't know. I think it's, it's a different level than like him. If you walked in, you're like, he's watching porn again on his computer. That's different than paying for someone to message him.

Definitely. I have just asked different people's advice on this, as I mentioned in my email. And, you know, a lot of women say the same thing. Run, get out. A lot of men have mixed advice. Like some say, I'm so, so sorry. I'm staying at a friend's house and the cat is, I'm so sorry. First of all, stop apologizing. You need to like boost up your self-esteem. You're too nice. That's a very nice quality, but you need to have a little bit more

like gumption and a little bit more. You are like a beautiful, kind, caring individual who is thinking about a person and you need to be thinking about yourself. Actually, you're giving him a little bit too much credit in this area. This is really about how you feel. It doesn't make you feel good. So it's not going to work for you. Yeah. Right. Thank you. Yeah. It's not going to work for you. Yeah. You don't need to support his habits of messaging women for naked photos yeah I had asked him like a year into us dating we've been dating for almost two and a half years and oh about a year and I asked him because I was having some feelings I wasn't sure if he I just had a sense there was something going on OnlyFans wise so I asked him are you you know on OnlyFans-wise. So I asked him, are you on OnlyFans? No judgment. It's fine. But

I just want to know for me, for my future. And he was really adamant about it. He said, no, absolutely not. Why would I pay for something like that? So I think it's more frustrating too that he lied about it. Yeah. And you gave him an opportunity and then he blew it. So he lied to you. So no, you deserve better than this. This isn't going to be good enough for you, period. So are you ready to break up with him? Because you should. Thank you, Chelsea. I've honestly been confused by a lot of advice that I've gotten. Like men say it's actually, it's just porn. It's fine. And actually, it's more ethical because it's from OnlyFans. You're controlling where the money goes.

But I think there's a good percentage of women on OnlyFans who are still trafficked. Yeah. That sounds like guys who love OnlyFans. Only men would say that it's ethical. He's going to cheat anyway, so it's better that he's just cheating with someone online. Like, whatever. Don't listen to men and give advice to women about fucking anything. You need to listen to women. And right now you need to listen to us. I can see this picture

very clearly. I'm sorry that you wasted two and a half years of your life, but there is somebody out there for you that is going to appreciate and love you. Actually, it's a sea of men. They're everywhere. Everywhere you go, there they are. And you're going to be stronger because of this situation. You're going to know what you want, what you don't want. And you need to also use your voice, like your voice. I want you to use that as a tool for yourself. And I want you to write that down. Like you need to get stronger in your voice. And I mean that actually audibly. And, you know, you need to like do some vocal exercises in the morning to ground yourself.

Because you're being, this is what I see when I look at you, somebody who's just in the air that is kind of being directed. You're like a hot air balloon that it doesn't know where to land because you're kind of being directed by someone who doesn't have your best interest. And you want to be grounded in who you are. You want to be a woman. You're a woman and you're powerful and you have all of these amazing things going for you in your life. And I don't know half of them,

but I already know that's true because it's true for every one of us. And this outward focus on that, no, no, no. I don't like that at all. And you're better than that. Thank you, Chelsea. To Chelsea's point about you need to listen to women about this, it's not because women are always right, although we usually are. It's because the women in your life are echoing what is coming up for you, what's coming from your gut and what your gut is telling you. And the men in your life are trying to dissuade you from that. It sounds like the women are telling you exactly how you're feeling. And that's why you should listen to them.

Thank you all so much. This is really helpful. It's so great to get your advice on this. Thank you. Well, I'll be thinking about you, honey. Follow up with us, okay? Let us know how it goes. Let us know when you break up with your boyfriend because you will. And keep us posted. We'll have you on our matchmaking segment. Yes. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. We'll put you on our matchmaking segment. I love that. Thank you so much. Okay. Bye, Alina. Good luck. Bye. I love men. It's better. It's more ethical to watch porn when you're, it's fucking so stupid. I love my brother over Christmas this year. He was like, Chelsea,

let me, I go, no, no, let me tell you. Don't, don't tell me anything. And don't start any sentence with let me. No, no, no. I don't let you anymore. Don't talk to me like that. But I think this is such an interesting question. Brad and I, my husband and I were just having this discussion the other day. We were watching 90 Day Fiance and there was a similar situation. And it's like, where is the line? And I think the line has to be like, when you start having direct conversations, like it's not just porn. When you start like, I mean, yeah, giving someone money. But even if you're not giving them money, if someone's sending you nudes in the DMs, like, no, that's not just like this is for fun. And so I can jerk off. This is something more. That's Yeah, that's too personalized. Yeah, I got mad

at my boyfriend in the pandemic. He had a weekly D&D zoom game, Dungeons and Dragons. I was like, this is worse than porn. I would feel better if you were actually like meeting a hot girl and jerking off. I'm like, you and your 14 other like high school friends, they're all like men in their 40s and they're like playing characters on their Zoom. I can't, I cannot with men and video games. I mean, it is a boner killer.

It is a boner killer. I was like, have you heard of OnlyFans? I mean, fuck, that's a boner lift your upper and this is a boner killer. It is a boner killer. I was like, have you heard of OnlyFans? I mean, fuck, that's a boner lift your upper, and this is a boner killer. It's so many boners, and you don't know which direction they're headed. East, west, north, or south. I was such a bitch.

I'm like, let me play my saxophone. Remember when I used to do that? I'd be like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm rehearsing in the other room. I'm the worst. Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle. One thrives on fear and anger and doubt. The other, courage, wisdom, and love.

Every decision, every moment feeds one of them. Which wolf are you feeding? I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. I've been there, homeless, addicted, and lost. I know the power of small choices to turn your life around. On this podcast, I sit down with thinkers, leaders, and survivors to uncover what it takes to feed the good wolf. This podcast saved me.

It's like having a guide for the hardest parts of life. The wolves are hungry. What will you feed them? Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel.

Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How to Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right.

How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really, No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal?

The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, too?

Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, No Really. Yeah, Really. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening?

Really? No, really. Yeah, really. No, really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really? No, Really? And you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next question comes from Javi, and he'll be joining us on the phone as well. He is currently unemployed, and Anna, I thought that this would be a perfect question for you

since you had a podcast called Unemployed, and you know about career transitions. Yes. Javi says, Dear Chelsea, I'm currently working as a reality TV producer, and while I love the work, the short-term contracts have been causing me some anxiety. Additionally, I had to move back to Miami any advice for someone like me who feels at a crossroads. How do you navigate the uncertainty of short contracts, and do you have any recommendations for building a backup plan or creating other income streams? Furthermore, given my current circumstances in my life,

I'm contemplating whether I should consider moving back to LA or explore other options. I'd appreciate any insights or wisdom you could share based on your own experiences. Javi. Hi, Javi. Hey, how's it going? Good. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. I'm chilling. Okay. So, okay. Break it down. Well, Anna, this will be good for you too, because we're all like that in this business. That's what it's like. So we can relate for sure. It's like job to job to job to job. No job security ever, ever, ever.

No 401k. No paid time off. None of that. None of that. And right now, that's sounding like mighty tempting. It feels like I'm missing out on something, you know? You mean by not having a 401k? Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Or just like steady income throughout the year. Right now, Catherine knows I'm unemployed. You mean by not having a 401k? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Or just like steady income throughout the year. Right now, Catherine knows I'm unemployed. I've worked it out where I have two shows that I work on that kind of fill up nine months out of the year. And now these three months, January to March, I'm just kind of hanging out, you know, and applying for gigs and crossing my fingers. But nothing yet. Have you been doing it for a long time?

I've been working in reality TV for like five years or so, producing like two-ish years. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay. I want to say mazel tov to you for having a job nine months in a creative industry, nine months out of the year. I'm like, holy shit. Not that bad.

That's like teachers, you know, they get like a summer off, I guess. I'm like, holy shit. Not that bad. That's like teachers, you know, they get like a summer off, I guess. I'm like, you're kind of living their schedule. But I'm like, if I was employed for nine months this year, I'd be like, you know, on a beach somewhere. I'd be in Miami with you. No, not to, I understand though, that this lull, the three months is,

it feels slow and you have no idea what to do, but. Yeah, it feels slow. And then the demons start, you know, creeping back in and telling me that I'm never going to have a stable, anything, never going to be able to buy a house, never going to, you know. Well, that's not true.

That's not true. Those are your thoughts. Like that's, you're just like shadow self telling you, that's what all of us have an experience when we don't have a lot going on. Our voices saying, are you good enough? Are you going to make this happen? That's bullshit.

So first and foremost, we need you to spend these three months that you have off in a very much more productive way. And you sound like you have, since you have a steady income for those nine months out of the year before you have something more that you're working maybe 11 months out of the year. I mean, it's a pretty good gig if you can swing working nine months out of the year and keep it that way, I would just say. But you need to put money aside in every paycheck, first of all, for your own 401k, for your own.

You have to start all of that shit yourself. And because then you're an island taking care of yourself and you're feeding yourself before you put yourself out there anymore. And there's a lot of self-esteem that comes with managing your money in a very thoughtful, futuristic way. You're preparing for the future. You can't just burn through everything. And it feels very good. And you're going to feel a lot safer and grounded and protected when you are looking out for yourself. And there's all sorts

of accounts you could drop. And they can take money from your paycheck. You can put it in yourself. You can design it however you want. But you need to start doing that anyway. You know, you're a grown man and you should be preparing for your future. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I have a Roth IRA and I do have a good amount of savings, but it's like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know if it's like the Cuban, I'm Cuban and the trauma of coming from parents who came from nothing. Like, I'm like, you got to keep saving more. You got to keep saving more, you know, like, but I hear you. A lot of people feel that way. Like, a lot of people feel exactly the way that you do.

It's not, it has nothing to do with being Cuban. It has to do with the Cuban experience. You know, I mean, not many people go through life going, I'm going to be great this whole time. Everything's going to go my way. Yeah, true, true, true. What were you going to say, Anna? I was going to say, well, yeah, as a Jew, you know,

my parents, they, I feel sorry for them that I did this. You know what I mean? I'm always broke and I'm always, I feel for you because this is where I am today, this morning even. But I was going to say, you're a producer and you don't have to put yourself in a little category of just a reality TV producer because that's a hard job. You're a producer. You could produce, you know how many people need producers like on a podcast or for a

short film or, you know, just put your name out there. Yeah, commercials, advertising, even social media. People need people to produce videos for that. Like it's there's so much more work, I think, as a producer, because you're obviously organized. You know how to like book a place or guests or whatnot, you know, like you know how to get people together. So I think just exercise that and you might find something that you like you're like wait reality tv that's so of the past like look at me i'm running you know six podcasts now i always think take whatever skills you enjoy because you obviously went in a creative route you chose not to go into like a corporate job like

take those skills and just go and try something else with it. Because I think you seem like you could do that. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I also have this like feeling that like I've got to be out in LA. You know, that's where I kind of like set up my like network of people. I lived there for two years. And like I wrote in the email, like I've been back home with mom who's been sick. I have my 93 year old grandfather here who I'm also like helping out, you know, making the doctor's appointments and whatnot And my dad is a truck driver who's gone half the time And so I feel like a little bit of a Paul to be home right now here in Miami

And I'm sure there's a ton of work here But again my network is kind of like in LA So I'm kind of like again at this like crossroads But first of all you can reach out to your network in LA And I guarantee you they're going to have connections in Miami You can reach out to you There's LA and I guarantee you they're going to have connections in Miami. You can reach out to you. There's so many proactive things you can be doing. And I think being there for your family is so important and meaningful that it's great that you're doing that. We spend so much time thinking about what we're not doing instead of thinking about what

we're doing. Like you are doing something very profound and meaningful by being available for your family. That is meaningful. And I would choose that any day over the week over any of this business. The reality is you have to work, but you can have it both ways. Like everything is possible. You just have to actually put in the work, which might be a little bit of like

trying to figure out who would have a connection in Miami. And yes, I love Anna's advice about trying different things because yeah, you could get a couple days on another job doing something completely different on a modeling shoot or a print shoot campaign. And it'd be like, oh, I could make a couple, I could do this five days a month when I'm here in Miami or 20 days a month. You could find other avenues where you're making money. You're still in the industry you want to be in, but you're getting another look at kind of like various

different parts of the industry. Yeah. And they're going to love that you want to be in, but you're getting another look at kind of like various different parts of the industry. Yeah. And they're going to love that you have L.A. experience on your resume. They're going to be like, oh, wow, he's the real deal. OK, he lived in L.A. and produced reality shows like that. That's big. Yeah. You know, I want you to see these three months not as like downtime, we are not making money,

but we all know how busy a producer's life can be when you're working. So I want you to take these three months and think bigger. Not what job could I be doing, but what's my next career move? I mean, maybe you are at the point where it's hard to save, but you know what? I think you need to be looking at this more creatively. This is your moment to think about what show do I maybe want to pitch? What ideas do I have? How can I level up my career to the point where I am making enough money that it's easy

to put money into a 401k? I would also say a book I'd recommend for you is You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero, who's been on the podcast before. I thought I wrote that book. Did I write it? You're very good at it. I need to read this book too. No, it's great.

It's kind of less about like what specifically to do and more about changing your mindset around money and fixing especially the scarcity thing that you have going on. You've got like very much a scarcity mindset and turning that into like training your mind to think in terms of abundance. You got to start meditating too. Like I say this to almost everybody, but it fucking makes such a difference to just constantly, like there's all these mantras, guided mantras about you. And there's, I promise you, if you meditate for like five days in a row, you're going to just start to feel a lightness and a groundedness that you didn't feel because you're actually giving yourself that time to surround yourself with whatever imagery like calms you or lights or whatever you're, whatever makes you feel protected and like just visualizing

what is your safest environment and telling yourself like you've got this. You're the reason why you've gotten this far to begin with. Like you're on your own team. So just make sure that you're always working for that team. Yeah, absolutely. I used to meditate a lot and I need to pick it back up. You're absolutely right. And I think I need to go to therapy again.

I know you would say that. Yeah. I mean, everyone should be in therapy. I just got off the phone with my therapist this morning, you guys. I just had a nice one hour session with my new therapist. I fucking love this woman. Yes. Send me her contact. Okay. And right now you have the time. I wanted to say one other thing. You're never going to look back at this time and regret being with your family. You know, like in the future, you'll you'll look back and be like, I didn't need to do that dumb gig in LA for like a weekend and like, you know, like in the future, you'll look back and be like, I didn't need to do that dumb gig in LA for like a weekend and like, you know, stress myself out. Like you'll always look

back at loving the time with your family. So. Absolutely. No, you're so right. And just to remember, like, I always like to think open instead of contract. Like when you're thinking about career stuff and like dabbling in different things, don't think you only do one thing. Think, oh, what else can I do that I don't know that I can do yet? Like what else is there? And be very open to all the possibilities. And maybe even if it's a job opportunity, like a couple of days work here and there on some sort of production that isn't reality-based or that you're not that familiar with, even if it doesn't sound appealing, like I would beseech you to just try it. You don't know what all the stuff that's out there that you're going to like until you do it. And you can cross it off and go, that's not for me.

This is for me. Yeah. It's that improv rule. Yes, and. Yes, and. Yeah. Yeah. So Ariana Grande's latest song.

Oh, yeah. Hey. What is it? What is it? I think I listened to it yesterday, actually. It's called Yes, and. Yes, and. There you go.

Oh, OK. Well, there you go. OK. I didn't know she went to Second City. Yeah, there you go. This is traumatizing't know she went to Second City. Yeah, there you go. This is traumatizing for people in comedy. Why did she need... I liked Ariana Grande until this song.

I'm like, I can't. I can't handle it. Some trauma there? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you all so, so, so much. I'm taking this all to heart.

Okay. Thanks, Javi. And Ariana's message as well. Okay. Bye, honey. Bye. Take care. Great.

Javi's taken care of. Wonderful. Yeah, this is like... I like what you said, Anna, about like Bye. Take care. Great. Javi's taken care of. Wonderful. Yeah, this is like, I like what you said, Anna, about like, it's like a teacher. Like, this is the time he gets to focus on himself, do some soul searching, all that stuff. Oh, my God. I wish I could work nine months out of the year. I was like, that sounds amazing. Unemployed what?

I'm sorry. We're going to take a break and we're going to be right back to wrap it up. Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle. One thrives on fear and anger and doubt. The other, courage, wisdom, and love. Every decision, every moment feeds one of them. Which wolf are you feeding? I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. I've been there, homeless, addicted, and lost. I know the power of small choices to turn your life around. On this podcast, I sit down with thinkers,

leaders, and survivors to uncover what it takes to feed the good wolf. This podcast saved me. It's like having a guide for the hardest parts of life. The wolves are hungry. What will you feed them? Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt.

And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon.

Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you

and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, my friend? Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really

No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, no really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com.

And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. We're back. Well, our next question comes from Brittany, and this one's just an email. Brittany says, Dear Chelsea,

I work in a male-dominated environment, and it's all too common to hear about committed men having affairs on their partners. I recently learned about a guy from work. Let's call him John, who was sleeping with a girl from my work. Let's call him John, who was sleeping with a girl from my work. Let's call her Jane. Neither John nor Jane are friends of mine. However, I was part of a wedding party this summer with John's wife. Let's call her Sam. At this point,

I knew about John and Jane's affair, but I was under the impression that it was short-lived and had been over for a few months before this wedding. I was not friends with Sam and didn't feel like it was my place to say anything, but then I had a great bonding experience with Sam at the wedding and we said we should keep in touch. And I recently learned that John and Jane's affair is still ongoing. I feel terrible for Sam. She's a wonderful person, working mother of five, and I feel more inclined to say something at this point. But I'm still not sure if I'm the right person to do it or that I should be getting involved at all. I just know that if it were me in this situation, I'd want to know that my husband was having an affair. So should

I tell Sam or should I stay out of it? Best regards, Brittany. Anna, I'll let you go first on this. Really? Yeah, I will. I feel like you have to tell her. I don't know. Unless it's been so long, you think she even knows. I don't know. Obviously, she's writing in, right? It's on her chest. And she knows that deep down, she probably should tell her. But it wants to feel like, well, maybe if I don't, life will move on. It'll be better. This brought back. I literally am like, oh, my God, I had a friend and I knew her boyfriend she had said I think he's cheating on me cheating on me and literally two years later I met a friend in LA and she was the one he was cheating on and I I connected these dots and I was like oh my god do I tell my friend like I know she didn't know who it was and I'm

like oh my god it's someone I know that's awful, and I think about it still. I ended up saying it after everyone was broken. No one was with the sky anymore, but I was like, yeah, if you know something and you respect this person, I would say, you know, be there for them and support them. And I would tell them maybe I'm, I don't know, it's going to be hard either way. I couldn't agree with you more. Listen, as a woman, there needs to be more honesty in this world, not less honesty. As a woman, it is imperative that we are honest with each other because we have been short shrifted our entire existence and lied to. And as a woman, I would tell a stranger if I knew something about her life because I would want her to know.

And she can do, listen, it's a new friend. It's not your close friend. So whatever. If she doesn't want to be friends with you after, then that's fine too. But I think this is an opportunity for you to show up for someone in a way that is meaningful because it is not fair for her to have five children and a husband who's having an affair while she's fucking doing everything. It's just not fair.

And I don't think it's in being an interloper when you're telling someone the truth. And I've had friendships end because of telling the truth, but I will never stop telling people the truth. And I will never stop telling women the truth. There's a feeling inside of me, and I think many of us can relate to it. I'm sure I know both of you are going to agree with me, that there is a sisterhood and we all owe it to each other to think of each other first before some guy. We need to be on each other's team. And that requires sometimes difficult conversations, but moreover, honesty. There is no way you can go wrong with being honest. Yeah. And it'll be hard at first, but you know, she'll be better for it. Like it will, she'll learn to handle this.

It's not going to get. Or she might be like, fuck you, and I don't want to hear this, and I don't believe you, and it might ruin your relationship, but I still would do it. I would say it's more important to be honest. Do you think there are any safeguards

that she could take in telling because she works with this guy? Like, my one concern is that this is going to affect her career negatively, because she'll be known as known as like the person who outed John like for having this affair. Yeah. I mean, that's going to be an issue, but they're just colleagues, right? Yeah. It's not like he's her boss or something. Yeah. Not as far as we know. I mean, yeah. I don't know. You know, when you get into like, don't tell them I told you like that is all very. Yeah.

It's like it's irrelevant. It's almost like, yeah, I'm telling on you and you're going to hate me. So you're going to just have to pony up to that. Yeah. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch this happen. It's gross. I don't want to see it, you know. And I think sometimes when we're carrying the weight of someone else's secrets, we don't give enough weight to how that affects us. Like, I know someone who kept a very similar secret to this for years, for a long, long time about something that was going on. And it really, truly impacted her health in a huge way. So I think we can't really underestimate how impactful carrying someone else's secrets can be.

Yeah. I mean, she lost me when she said she had five kids. Like, she's home caring for five kids, and he's out at the office holiday party, like, hooking up with someone. Stakes are raised. Yes. Yeah. And I just don't understand these women, either, that have affairs with men who have five children

and have a wife at home. Like, what are you telling yourself? That this is a good karma for you and there's children involved? Like, it's just, it's gross. So, yeah, anyway. Brittany, time to tattle. Okay. Anna Roisman, you've been such a delight.

Anna, tell everyone how they can watch you, find you, all of your shit. Thanks. You can find me anywhere online at Anna Roisman, A-N-N-A-R-O-I-S-M-A-N. I post a lot of dumb celebrity impressions and stuff. I have fun doing it, you know, especially when they like it. When they don't like it, it's a little touch and go. But, you know, for the most part. Do you get a lot of feedback from celebrities who don't like it? You know, I used to get blocked from Instagram a lot. I get warnings a lot. And I think someone was reporting me, which was scary. And that's Hilaria Baldwin. And I'm OK with it from Instagram a lot. I get warnings a lot. And I think someone was reporting me, which was scary.

And that's Hilaria Baldwin. And I'm OK with it now, you know. Hilaria Baldwin, what a mess. People think I'm her on TikTok. It's a little scary. That was an accident. We do look alike, I guess you can say. But yeah.

Oh, and I wanted to say, you can listen to my podcast. It's called Big Wigs. My friend Andrea and I do impressions together. We do Chris and Courtney together and we shoot the shit and talk about things that are in pop culture and we have fun. Hearing you two like do Chris and Courtney together at each other is hysterical. Thank you. Okay, well, that's our show for today.

And I hope I see you again. I'll see you when I'm in New York next. Hopefully. I would love that. I'll be in LA also. I'll find you. I can't wait to go out with Jamie. Okay, well, good luck with everything. I love watching your success. You're gonna be crushing it for a long time. So yes, I'll see you again soon. And thanks for coming on the podcast. Thanks for having me. You're the best. Yeah, for sure. Thanks, Anna. Bye, guys. Thank you. Bye. Okay, bye. Okay, so show dates

coming up Canadian show dates. These are for Canadians, guys. I'm. Bye. Okay, bye. Okay, so show dates coming up. Canadian show dates. These are for Canadians, guys. I'm coming February 9th. I'll be in Winnipeg. Victoria, BC is March 8th. Then I will be in Salt Lake City, April 4th. And Denver, April 5th.

I'm coming to Arizona at Maricopa, April 12th. April 13th, I'll be in Brooks, California at the Cache Creek Casino. And then I'm going to be in Santa Rosa Sunday, April 14th. April 13th, I'll be in Brooks, California at the Cache Creek Casino. And then I'm going to be in Santa Rosa Sunday, April 14th. I'm coming to Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland on April 20th. Gary, Indiana, Prior Lake, Minnesota. Coming to Oklahoma, Norman, Oklahoma on May 3rd and May 4th. I will be in Thackerville, Oklahoma, for my rescheduled WinStar World casino date. And I want to make sure that I give a shout-out to our show. For Netflix, it's a joke festival. I put together a show with some of my favorite comics.

It's May 11th at the YouTube Theater downtown, which I've never performed in, so that's going to be fun. It's pretty big. I have Mateo Lane. I have Fortune Feimster performing. I have Sam Jay is on the show and Vanessa Gonzalez. So we, it is called a Jew, two Mexicans, no, a Jew, two gays and a Mexican. No, a Jew, three gays and a Mexican. So it's political correctness at its finest. And then I will be

in Verona, New York on May 26th. And then I'm coming to Australia in July and New Zealand, July 5th, Auckland. And I'm coming to Wellington, New Zealand, Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney. So those are all my dates that are up and available. So get your tickets. I can't wait to see you. Yeah, that's it. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com. And be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law, and be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer.

If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got got and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

you get your podcasts. Do you want a shortcut to the best version of you? Here it is. Feed the good wolf. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. Every week, I talk to brilliant minds and brave souls about the art of small, powerful choices. Our listeners say it all. This is a lifeline. Transformational. The best antidote to a bad mood I've ever heard. Join the pack and start feeding your best self. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like

why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast.

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