Dear Chelsea - It’s Me or The Dog with Madelaine Petsch

Episode Date: October 9, 2025

Madelaine Petsch joins Chelsea to talk about reconsidering motherhood, her love of horror films, and biting off more than you can chew. Then: A friendship is on the brink after a misunderstanding about the news.  A friend wants to help her bestie lose her virginity.  And a woman must choose between her boyfriend and her beloved dog.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. The murder of an 18-year-old girl in Graves County, Kentucky, went unsolved for years, until a local housewife, a journalist, and a handful of girls, came forward with a story. America, y'all better work the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns. Listen to Graves County on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And to binge the entire season ad-free, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. Samihante, it's Anna Ortiz.

And I'm Mark and Delicado. You might know us as Hilda and Justin from Ugly Betty. Welcome to our new podcast. Viva Betty! We're re-watching the series from start to finish and getting into all the fashions, the drama, and the behind-the-scenes moments that you've never heard before. But you were still bartending?

I didn't know that. The bar back is like, is that you? And it's a commercial for Betty. And I was like, I quit. I quit. Listen to Viva Betty on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I love that you created his system that revolves around.

You creating pockets of peace. World Mental Health Day is around the corner. And on my podcast, Just Heal with Dr. Jay, I dive into what it really means to care for your mind, body, and spirit. From breaking generational patterns to building emotional capacity. I'm going to walk away feeling like, yes, I'm going to continue my healing journey. Listen to Just Hill with Dr. Jay from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

guys. I'm the homeguard that knows a little bit about everything and everybody. Let me know Lauren La Rosa. You hear that exclusive? Lauren came in. Hi. I came in telling the truth. Every day, I'm bringing you the latest in entertainment, breaking down the headlines you can't stop talking about, and giving you my very unfiltered take on the biggest stories in the industry. From exclusive news, and y'all know I got it, to us breaking down the interviews because y'all are my co-hosts now. I'm giving you the deep dives on some of the biggest moments in pop culture.

Listen to the latest with Lauren LaRosa weekdays on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I just announced all my tour dates. They just went on sale. It's called The High and Mighty Tour. I will be starting, debuting my new material in February of next year. So I'm coming to Washington, D.C., Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus, and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of course.

Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Mesa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and Portchester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. Those are the cities that I'm in. Presale started last week, so tickets are flying. I haven't added second shows yet, but we probably will be to some of these.

So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour. Oh, what a good little beeper you are. Hi, Madeline. It's nice to meet you. Hi, Toby. Hi. Madeline has some projects coming out, you guys. The Strangers Chapter 2, which is a horror movie, hits theater September 26. And then she has a rom-com called Maintenance Required, which hits Amazon on October 8th. They are both now out. So I read that you grew up in South Africa and Washington State. Yeah, I mean, that's turned such an African, so we would go back. But I was primarily in Washington. It's really interesting how interviews can skew the reality.

my life so much. So basically all interviews get skewed and then they, like, I don't, I talk about being child free and people are like, Chelsea Handler hates children. I talk about not wanting, like, I talk about not wanting to be married and do like, Chelsea Handler hates men, which is closer to the truth than hating children. But I don't hate anyone. I don't have the energy to hate, but I hear you what you're saying. So you probably were interviewed several times and told them that your parents are from South Africa, and people are like, she commuted on the Concord, the one that goes straight from Johannesburg in the 70s, from Johannesburg to Olympia, Washington. Yeah, actually. No, I'd go back, I would go back in the summer and in the winter,

so twice a year we'd go back and see my whole family because my entire extended family is there, but I would say the primary part of my life for the formative years were spent in Washington. Okay, cute. I had, I dated a South African once. And then he bought me the, very fancy pair. This was like when I was in my 20s and I was waitressing and he bought me this very fancy pair of earrings and then I realized, oh, it's time to break up. Was it a blood diamond? Yes, it was a blood diamond. That was why. It was, it was just obvious that he and I were on different pages if he was buying me jewelry. Do you know what I mean? I would never say no to jewelry though. I would. I would like buy me more before I break up. I would. I would. Because

you know what? Madeline, we can both buy ourselves jewelry. So why, who cares? You know what I mean? That's what I like to focus on. What I, what I need from my man is not jewelry. And the jewelry that a man is picking is like probably not what you'd pick for yourself a lot of times. What do you think the biggest cultural differences are between, say, South Africa and the States? That's such an interesting question. I think probably manners. Great fucking answer. I hate to say that, but people are a lot more polite in South Africa and like kind to people they don't know. I feel like people are more. Lack of social awareness. Right. I feel like people are all.

a lot more polite in many places outside of America, not just South Africa. I think it's an American problem, but yes, I think Manners is a great thing to bring up. Yeah, I mean, Cape Town, are you from Cape Town? Durban. Oh, okay. Oh, I have a safari guide from Durban. So have you, I bet you've been on a couple of safaris. I certainly have.

Cougar National Park. You know it. Oh, yeah, I love safaris. That's my dream vacation, minus the snakes. I didn't have any, I've never had a bad experience with the, snake before. I've never had like a snake attack me, but I believe they are out to get me. And when I see them, my reaction is like I have a phobia. It's not, it's more than a fear. It's a phobia. Like I will freak out and I start to like, we saw one of those snakes with their heads up this last

time we were on safari, which was like, it wasn't a cobra. It's a, oh, it was like, an asp. It was something that I, it was the most dangerous snake that they have in Kenya. I saw it out of the corner of my eye. I was like, what was after? Like, nothing. and we were in the Jeep, luckily, but they had the ones that could poison you by with their spit, and they could get in your eyes. I don't think I want to go on a safari with you. I know, I do. I do have bad luck.

Although I haven't had one chase to me, knock on wood. Let's not even talk about such things, Madeline. Okay. So tell me about your two projects. They're very opposite. One's a horror movie. One's a romantic comedy. What do you have a preference?

I know this is a sequel, Strangers, Chapter 2. I don't have a preference. I think they're, I love them both. You can't pick between your children. The Strangers Chapter 2 is like, it's, um, It's honestly my baby because I shot all three at once in Slovakia three or four years ago, and I've been editing them. By the way, I love Slovakia. What's going on in Slovakia?

I was terrified to go because I just didn't know anything about it, and it's so far away. I felt like I was being shipped off to never be seen again, but I fell in love with Bratislava. I would go shoot there time and time again. Where is Slovakia, geographically? Well, it used to be Czechoslovakia, so it's right next to Austria and the Czech Republic. Oh, so that's not that far away. It's just Eastern Europe. Yeah, Eastern Europe. Everyone says the Czech Republic is gorgeous. Czech Republic is gorgeous. That's where Prague is. And so Slovakia is a newer country than the other one. Well, Czech Republic is a newer country too because it used to be Czechoslovakia. It's all Slovakia. So you had a great time there. What's it like? What's the vibe there? Is it a big city? Were you shooting in the country? We were shooting out in the middle of nowhere. It was like two hours from Bratislava. But they've got a city center. That's really sweet. and there's a lot of things to do, and then there's like lots of, lots of land and abandoned

hospitals and things like that, which is why we shot there. Right. Because we needed some abandoned hospitals. Right, right. It sounds actually like a place Slovakia sounds like a place that has a lot of abandoned hospitals. Well, there you go. And it does. Can confirm.

So when you're, like, crawling into the freezer beds in the morgue, is that like a real one? Okay. So actually, I am a bit of a journal phobe, and I had a bit of a free. out there are certain things that I can do like I'm like you want me to run down this hallway hurt myself fine I'm not getting into a real morgue drawer that feels like where I draw the line there's really a dead body in there at one point I just I can't they actually built the morgue okay okay in that they built it in the hospital which is such a crazy thing to think about but they built the morgue allegedly actually you know what they could have actually lied to me

they just told you they did and you're like crawling in there with the old dead body you now you're a huge fan of horror right like you love the original strangers with of Tyler. To me, because that movie, you know, and The Strangers Chapter 1, 2, and 3 that you're talking about now, like, this is home invasion that we're talking about. To me, that's kind of like the scariest possible thing. Because like slasher's, you know, whatever, a guy chasing you through that, like, that can kind of happen in any movie. But you think about like someone coming into your home and it's just random. That to me is the most terrifying thing. So tell me, tell us about your love of horror. Well, it started at a young age. I was forced to watch it when I was like seven.

and it terrified me, and I was like, I'm going to conquer this if that's the last thing I do. I'll never be scared again by a film. No, and then I just fell in love with it. I'm not even sure why, but I think horror, similarly to, like, foreign filmmaking is not so risk-averse. I think every other genre in American cinema is very risk-averse. And so I think you could take a lot more risk to have a lot more fun in horrors, a lot more genre-bending and rule-bending and probably why I love it so much, honestly. That's a good point, though, because you can make it like campy, you can make it super-heightened,

or you could make it a very nuanced horror. So that's actually a good point that you make that I hadn't thought about. Are you a horror person? I don't typically love horror movies. I don't like to be fake scared. You know what I mean? And I also, I don't like violence,

but horror is a different category to violence, I think. Horror is like you're supposed to be scared. Like I don't love that feeling. It's not my favorite genre, but I respect it. Yeah. It's hard to do. I mean, I always say I feel like fear is the only, the only emotion you can't really manufacture because your body doesn't know the difference with fear.

So I was actually in fight or flight the whole time was shooting those movies. I don't look back on it fondly by any means, but I do love the movies very much. Would you do a horror movie again, having like gone through? Because especially shooting them concurrently, like I know you said, you know, one day you might be shooting a scene from the first movie and the third movie. So would you do that again in maybe a second? smaller scale with a single film just could go there. I would never shoot three movies at once again. Yeah, who the fuck wants to do that? Well, I was, you know, me four years ago, I can't talk to her

now, but she was like, this is a fun challenge. Like, you can do this. Totally. Totally. But yes, I actually I love horror because again, it's like, I truly believe right now the best movies that are being made are horror because they're only ones that are like different. Everything else is so carving copy of something else. This is actually like every script that I'm getting that's horror is, like, unique and different, and you can make them for a small budget so you can follow the filmmaker's real vision and you're not arguing with the studio. Like, there's a lot more freedom in horror, I think, right now. And I think people are starting to realize that, you know, of course, you can have your

can't be in silly horror movies. But to have a really good, solid actor in a horror film is what helps bring it to life. You know, like, I love a schlocky 70s one with terrible acting, but like, you're talking about Catherine, you're talking about porn right now. I told you to stop talking about porn. I'm a podcast. That's not what we're here for. But like the emotions that you're bringing on screen, I felt viscerally. Like they're very real. You are like crying a lot of the time because you're being stalked. I will say one thing I very much identified with in the Strangers Chapter 2 was there is a moment. I hope this is not too much of a spoiler. But there is a moment that includes a wild boar question mark. And there's a moment where you're actually like laying still and gets stepped on by the wild boar. And I identified with that because, that's literally exactly what happens with my dog every single morning. She comes and, like, stands on my chest and is, like, sniffing my face, seeing if

I'm awake. So I think that's a lot different than a wild boar. First of all, you know your fucking dog. You're in my bedroom. You're safe. What that scene in that movie is fucking scary. She's threatening me that it's time to get up. Madeline, I know you talk publicly, which I think is such a nice service, especially for

all your fans. And I know you have, like, millions, 20-something million followers on Instagram alone. You talk very openly about like stressful times in your life, panic attacks, therapy, like how you calm yourself down. And this podcast, we talk a ton about that because our listeners are, we have people who call in, which you'll see in a moment asking for advice. But like, can you talk a little bit about that and how you were able to find a way to kind of soothe your nerves and the steps you took to get to a place where you were able to identify that there was even an issue in the first place? Yeah, I mean, I grew up in a quite dysfunctional home as a child. And so I think what I, it all felt normal as a kid. And then I moved to L.A. and I was alone. And everybody around me wasn't experiencing that as much, the anxiety, the panic, the kind of like I would catastrophize everything. Everything was the worst thing in the world. And that kind of carried into probably my early to mid-20s. And during the pandemic, actually was the impetus for me to figure out what was wrong with me. And I got my brain scan. I was like, there's got to be something seriously wrong with me. And it was actually kind of validated because he was like, oh, your copper, your body produces

too much copper. So you have to do this to help fix it. And it was like, oh, my body actually has something that is creating anxiety within me. I'm so validating to understand that at a real molecular level. Like a physiological. That helped a lot. Yeah. Like it wasn't just like, yes, of course I'm an anxious person.

Like I don't know if that's ever going to go away, but there are tools I can have to fix that or to help manage it. But there's actually also something that I can do. right now that makes me feel like, okay, this can help. And so I am on some like a pretty good supplement regimen. And I also do weekly therapy. I think talk therapy is the thing that changed everything the most, though, honestly. And did you have trouble finding a good therapist that you connected with? I've only ever had one. I've had the same one for almost 10 years. So I guess the answer is no. You did not have trouble finding. Actually, you know what? Chelsea, when I first

went to L.A., I did, I tried one other therapist. And I mean, it was the hokeyest thing. He was trying to like hypnotize me on his couch and I was kind of feeling bad because it didn't work and so I acted like I was hypnotized. I was like maybe I should just act like it's working. That's like faking an orgasm for a man. Acting like therapy is working when it's not. Hypnotism especially. Yeah, it was for a man. Yeah. The things we do. But that's the thing is like anxiety can so often be a physiologically induced thing. And you know, people say, you know, oh, I don't want to go to get treatment or like, oh, I can manage it or whatever. But like if you had a broken leg, you wouldn't say like, no, I don't want to go to the doctor. And it's really the same. And it's really the same. You know,

same thing. Yeah, I remember the first time I ever had like that kind of shaky leg syndrome thing when I was on stage talking. The first time it happened, like the more conscientious you become of it, the more it increases and it gets worse and worse and worse. And then it's in your head. You're like, fuck, I can't stand up straight. Like I stand up for a living. I'm not going to be able to stand up and talk. And then I was like, oh, it's the heels. Let me get rid of the heels. And then I'd be in flats. And then I'd be like, and that was more stabilizing. But like, yeah, it's not, you can't put a bandaid on it. You kind of have to get to the root of the issue. Then in the meantime, take a beta blocker, anyone who's listening.

Kind oflar, as if you're in a panic attack, call it a day, I don't know. Yeah. That was my thing for a while. So why was your family so dysfunctional? I grew up with a father who, how do I describe it? I don't want to, like, diagnose him on a podcast, but he was very unpredictable at like highs and lows all the time. And so I couldn't really, there was no consistency in my household as a child.

Uh-huh. So it was a lot of, like, questioning whether or not. I was loved as a kid. Okay. And what about your mom? Was your mom in the house with you guys? Yeah, she's the best ever. And I don't think I'd be where I am today without her.

She's like one of those people who was meant to be a mom. Yeah, that was how my mom was too. My mom was so soft and sweet. Which do you feel like I have a question for you, actually? Because I, for the longest time, thought I didn't want children. And I feel like having a mom who was meant to be a mom made me realize, like, or think that I realized I don't feel that way. maybe I shouldn't have kids.

And now I've shifted, now I actually want children. But for the longest time, I think my mom being such a good mom made me be like, oh, I don't think I can live up to that. Yeah, I think you bring up a good point because I think that, yes, I'm one of six children. How many siblings do you have? Just one. Okay. So my mom was a mama bear.

Like she was like, but not in a fierce, like, fierce way. She just, like, loved us so much. And she wanted her, like, cubs around her. She wasn't really that interested in our friends or our boyfriend. friends she tolerated those people and she gave out love to them when they needed it like i had a best friend from high school who i grew up with and she was like your mom was the first person who told me she loved me and i was like oh my god that's so my mom you know that was so sweet of my mom my mom recognized that her house was pretty dysfunctional as was mine i mean i don't know anybody

who grew up i have some friends in l.a that grew up here and think they had normal childhoods and i have to always remind them you don't you grew up in fucking beverly hills you're relative like what you What's relative to you is not relative to the rest of the world. And it's no wonder you still live here because you're living in a fantasy world. You know, like that's not real life. But yes, back to the question at hand is my mom was so loving and such a caretaker and such a homemaker. Like she was always cooking for us. There was always snacks when you got home from school at like 3 o'clock at the afternoon.

There'd be like a vat of macaroni and cheese as a snack. And so it was like, you know, her language was like food and comfort. and we would go up to her room, you know, before we went to bed and jump into bed with her and, like, hope that we could, I would just always hope, oh, please don't kick me out of the bed, like, let me sleep in the bed. You know, like, that's how cozy and I used to call her chunky

because she was junky, and she had little flaps of skin, like extra meat packets everywhere. And I just loved her, like, body. But she was, but it definitely was, it's so antithetical to how I saw my life going. So that is a great thing to bring up. It's like sometimes when you look at your own mother and you realize how good at mothering they are, you're like, wow, I won't be able to hold a candle to that.

And then conversely, the opposite was true. She didn't have a lot of independence. She didn't have a lot of her own money. She didn't have anything in her name. You know, my dad ran the show, but I looked at that, like, I don't want that either. Right, right. That's so interesting. I never thought about it like that.

I actually recently just probably in the last eight months or a year decided I want to be a mom. For the longest time, I think I just got so annoyed that society, tells you as a woman your only real purpose is to have children that I was like go fuck yourself like that's not how I feel and then I was like wait am I just to be a contrarian like let me really check in with myself in therapy and see if I really feel that maternal instinct and I just there was one day I had therapy and I was like I just want to have a child with my best friend like that would be so fun and she goes hey wait you can yeah you can pick who you have your child with and that's when I was like oh it's so funny because you're saying child and it sounds like chow and I have a

chow-chow in here. And I'm like, that's how I feel. I wanted to chow too. That's the only kind of dog I get are chow-chows. You rescue animals too. I do, yeah. How many do you have? I have one little girl. Okay. Olive, right? Olive, yeah. I've seen a couple pictures. She's very cute. I have her little teeth tattooed on my arm. And you have a tattoo of your mom, like something your mom says, too, right, my darling? I do. I have bruises there from pole dancing, but here it is. Are you pole dancing on the regular? Yeah. I did it. for a movie that I just wrapped like four or five days ago. How was it to learn pole dancing? Well, you know, I am anemic, so I bruised a lot. But outside of that, it's so much fun. I'm going to keep

doing it now that the movie's over. It's great. And it's good exercise, people say. Beyond. It's really fucking hard. I had no idea how much arm strength you need. In my head, it makes sense to need leg strength, but it's mostly your arms. Yeah. And it's like as women, that's something we have to like work on to have the upper body strength. Do you ever go to Jumbo's clown room and just, like, see the feats of strength? Absolutely. I love my favorite. It's my favorite. We used to live on the same block as that, actually. So we went quite frequently. What a kawiki dig for you. And my husband never wanted to go. I was just like, I want to go and like cheer for women in bikini is doing feats of strength. Like, it's so fun. Incredible. When they're hanging upside down, you're like, hey, this is crazy.

Yeah. How are you been up there? So Madeline, you love what you do. You can tell that you love what you do, right? You feel very pat-laked. You must feel very grateful to have such a successful career at such a young age, right? I do. Yeah. I really, I think there's nothing else in the world that'd be happy doing. I think that's how you get into this business is when everything else just seems unreasoned. Like, I tried to be a temp and they were like, you're fired.

I got fired from every single job every day. My sister's like, that's because you can't do anything but be in this business. Like, you're a comedian. You're a voice. Like, you want to talk. And that's really all I want to do is talk. Luckily, I've made a career out of talking. I never realized that until I was writing my last book.

And I was like, oh, my God, how lucky are we to get to do the thing that we want to do? And also, you make such a good living doing what you want to do. I used to remember watching baseball players, like, get traded. And I'd be, like, so upset at their disloyalty to their original team. Like, how could you trade? How could you go from the Boston Red Sox to the Yankees? Like, doesn't any loyalty matter? And I'm like, you're already making crazy money doing the thing.

you love to do the most. Like some people have to work at a job they fucking hate their whole life and they don't get to make... Like those people deserve to make the big money and the people who get to do what they love should just be able to get by. That's how I feel about it.

I mean, I'm not trying to give away my good blessings, but that's... It's all upside down. I think it's kind of interesting, isn't it? Yeah, I think so. We're going to take a break and we'll be right back with Madeline Petch. All I know is what I've been told, and that's a half-truth is a whole lie.

For almost a decade, the murder of an 18-year-old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky, went unsolved, until a local homemaker, a journalist, and a handful of girls came forward with a story. I'm telling you, we know Quincy killed her. We know. A story that law enforcement used to convict six people. and that got the citizen investigator on national TV. Through sheer persistence and nerve, this Kentucky housewife helped give justice to Jessica Curran. My name is Maggie Freeling.

I'm a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, producer, and I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find. I did not know her and I did not kill her, or rape or burn, or any of that other stuff that y'all said. They literally made me say that I took a match and struck and threw it on me, her. They made me say that I pour gas on her. From Lava for Good, this is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system will go in order to find someone to blame. America, y'all better work the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns.

Listen to Graves County in the Bone Valley feed on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season at free, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. But the humility in knowing that life is this classroom that we should never graduate for is what is going to keep you growing.

And that's all that matters. World Mental Health Day is around the corner. And on my podcast, Just Healed with Dr. Jay, I dive into what it really means to care for your mind, body, and spirit. From breaking generational patterns to building emotional capacity. Healing is a journey and wholeness is the destination. I'm going to walk away feeling very healed and feeling like, yes, I'm going to continue my healing journey and I'm going to get some keys from you.

Listen to Jess Hill with Dr. Jay from the Black Effect. podcast network on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey guys, it's Stephanie Beatriz and Melissa Fumero, and this is more better. We are jumping right in and ready to hear from you. Your thoughts, your questions, your feelings about socks with sandals. And we're ready to share some possibly questionable advice and hot takes. God, that sucks so hard though. I'm so sorry. Can you out petty them? Can you match their pettiness for funsies?

Yeah. We had so much fun last season, laughing, crying, talking to some new and old friends. Remember when we were in that scene where you guys were just supposed to hug and I was standing? Oh, yeah. And I was like, can I also hug them? I'm like, this f*** has no friends. This time around, we are, say it, Melissa. Should I?

Say it. Getting a little more better. Oh, finally. It's all the dressing room talks we've loved in season. all the things, because aren't we all trying to get a little more better? Listen to more better on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, Puzzlers. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs.

The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy Truthers, who say that you are given all the answers, leave in? I guess they would be conspiracy theorists. That's right. Are there Jeopardy Truthers?

Are there people who say that it was rigged? Yeah, ever since I was first on, people are like, they gave you the answers, right? And then there's the other ones which are like, they gave you the answers

and you still blew it. Don't miss Jeopardy legend Ken Jennings on our special game show week of the Puzzler podcast. The Puzzler is the best place to get your daily word puzzle fix Listen on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Madeline.

Okay. So what do you got, Catherine? We've got some advice questions. People call in for advice and then we give it to them. You seem very mature that you're going to be good at this. You've been to therapy where all ducks, all of our ducks are in a row. Yes. And like feel free to pull from experiences like friends have had and, you know, things.

It's just that you've learned in the world. It doesn't all have to be from your own experience. So our first question is about dating a bad texter. So our first question comes from Jack. This one's just an email. He says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 26-year-old gay man, single and dating in NYC. About a month ago, I went on a hinge date, and we really hit it off. He seemed to check a lot of the boxes since then, and we've gone on about five dates. Every time we get together, the conversation is endless, and he seems very into me. We have great sexual chemistry as well, and every time we part way. as we try to set another date. It's been a while since I've gone this long talking to someone. While everything is going well, the butt here is that the man is an awful texter. During the week, text can be pretty sporadic, and sometimes during weekends, I'll go a few days without hearing from him. When I lightly joke about it, he says, sorry, I'm a bad texter and have been super busy. I personally can be a bad texter myself, and also do not like to look at my phone too much

if I'm with other people and having a good time. But I'm excited about this prospect and would like for it to keep moving forward. I worry that not talking with this guy more often might cause this to fall through the cracks. I feel like I'm walking a fine line of not trying to seem too available or too invested since it's only been about a month, but I also don't want him to think I don't care because, like I said, I want to keep this moving in a positive direction. Any thoughts? Jack. I think some people just really are bad at texting.

Like I was on this guy's, I was vacationing at this guy's house, and I sent him this beautiful text. Like, well, I thought it was beautiful. I was like, thank you so much. Your house is so beautiful. Your staff is so beautiful. Like, just going on and on like a normal thank you, you know? And it was almost two paragraphs long and he wrote back, welcome. And I'm like, God, I'm like, what did I do?

Like, maybe he hates me. And then, like, two weeks later, he invited me to something else. Some people just don't communicate like that. I don't know what you do about that. What do you think, Madeline? I actually think it's a green flag if someone's bad at texting. Ooh, okay, say more about that. I know that's a hot take.

I like the idea of somebody not being so obsessed with their phone. I had this, like, spiritual awakening recently where it's like, this is not communication. Like, nothing about this is connection and communication. Like, as long as you're in person and you've got a good thing going and you feel like somebody is trustworthy and you can tell them how you feel, that's kind of all that matters. And if it falls through the cracks because you guys aren't texting enough, then that's just not your person. Yeah.

I also don't think you should let it fall through the, like, you shouldn't have the mindset that it's going to fall through the cracks because of his lack of interest. texting. While it annoys you, it is, like she just said, there are good points to, like, not having somebody addicted to their phone and not having someone. And some people also don't feel confident in their texting abilities, right? Like, I see that with some people. Like, they don't know, you know, things get lost in translation. And I do think our phones have hijacked our lives as, you know, as we are learning and have learned for the last 10 years. So that's not a deal breaker, in my opinion. I think you should just, like, work around that and reset your

expectations about what you want from the relationship. It doesn't really, texting doesn't keep a relationship alive. Yeah. I mean, some people have a different vibe when they're texting than in person. Like, I know one of my girlfriends, she is now married to this woman, but her now wife was like, yeah, when we first were texting, like she was oddly formal with texting, which is sort of a language like she and I use where it's like, to be a little funny, we use very formal language and texting. And she was like, I thought she was going to be kind of weird. And then like, obviously they hit it often, you know, are in love and married now. But I do have. one more question for you about this. So I've heard that amongst people your age, there is a

phenomenon of guys especially using chat GPT to like craft their text responses. Have you or any friends experience this? My best friend. He's a chat to BT for everything. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. She'll actually like input texts and be like, what does this mean? What is he trying to say to me? How should I respond. It's really interesting to watch. Yeah. Yeah, we'll tell your friend every time she uses chat GPT, she's killing about 10 water buffalo because every time we use chat GPT, it is like you have to go to, it goes to a lithium farm. They have these huge battery operated farms that are providing all the energy resources that we need. So it's terrible for the environment, which is something they never fucking talk about. As soon as I heard that, I'm like, oh my God, I'm not ever going to use it.

But how old I never heard that? I asked chat GPT how bad using chat GPT was for the environment and it gave me a comprehensive response about why it is so bad. But on another note about talking about guys who would make up like text or consult chat for like how to talk to a woman talking about in cells. Like I was at this thing the other night and this guy was telling me, I was at this dinner and this guy was telling me that he's in the tech world, he's in AI. He's one of these investors and one of these AI groups. He's delineating all the differences between all of the AI platforms like grok and chat. And so he was saying that, you know, it's only a matter of like a month or two before we're going to have our own robots that are going to be available to like, you know, the first wave of robots. And that men are going to be able to customize, did I already tell you this?

That men aren't going to be able to, as will women, be able to customize the type of person they want as like a lover or an assistant. assistant like I could say oh I want some I want someone with red hair and I want somebody who doesn't talk back and I want somebody who's really good at making Mexican food and I also want somebody who's going to also be really good with the dogs like you can basically customize your person they can have a working vagina so you can have sex with your robot and I was like okay well listen as a person I go that's something he goes every guy is going to want to do that who doesn't like really know how to operate with with women like if that doesn't and I'm like yeah but Does human connection not count for anything anymore?

And he said, no, it does, but only to the people that it matters to because there's so many in-cell types of people now in the world that don't have any communication because all they do is, you know, stay on their phone or communicate via their phone. But I was like, oh, I could design a robot that's really good at skiing for the winter that makes me drinks when I'm done with skiing, that stretches me in the morning. So I'm getting ready for my skiing and then makes me dinner and then has sex with me. and he can look like whatever I want and appear as a real man. And he's like, well, that's not going to be the first wave.

Like, you are going to be dealing with a robot. But eventually you will be able to create a person who has all the qualities you want. And I thought, that is so fucking crazy. It's so fucking crazy. I mean, I did see someone on the street in West Hollywood yesterday with a robot dog. So, I mean, it's happening. It's already happening. It is happening.

There's a movie called Companion that everybody here needs to watch clearly. And what was the movie with Scarlett Johansson? What was that? Her? Her. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's it, too. That's where we're at now. It's literally what you're talking about.

Yeah. Yeah. And we've basically made movies to give everybody ideas about how to make this a reality. Like, we're turning into The Terminator because we, yeah. Well, I read an article about this recently, too. Apparently a lot of, like, teens, like young teens, like their first romantic relationships are with AI. Like, they're, like, giving it a name and it's their boyfriend and they, like, check in after school.

I know. I know. I'm so glad. dark. I'm so glad that. I just hope that I'm dead before all of this is, it takes charge. We only have one to two months according to this guy. I know. I can't take any more changes. I can't take this technology. It's too much. Maybe AI can finish my house. Oh, there you go. There you go. There you go. Well, Alyssa writes in with a question that hopefully you both will be able to help with. She says, Dear Chelsea, I love the podcast and I look forward to listening every week. I'm a long time listener, but I've never written in before,

mostly because I always knew what you would say and figured I should just get my shit together. But this time, I'm truly stuck. I've had my dog since April of 2020, and he was my COVID baby. I was home with him 24-7 for a year before going back into the office, and ever since I got him, he's truly saved me from the darkest moments in my life. I got him just a couple months before I ended a 10-year toxic relationship with my high school sweetheart. He helped me rediscover life for myself, got me out of bed on my worst days, and reminded me that

life is fun and silly and joyful because he is. All the responsibilities of a dog, by the way. Exactly. He is my sole dog, and I don't know where I'd be without him. As many dog owners are, I'm obsessed with my baby. From April 2020 to March 2024, he got to do everything with me. We ran errands together, took drives, he slept with me. He basically stayed by my hip at all times. Then I met my now boyfriend, who is wonderful in so many ways. We have so much in common, and he makes me laugh like no one else can. We have such a good, relationship, but he isn't the biggest fan of my dog, or dogs in general. And some days, it makes me wonder if this is what I want. Does that sound crazy? Am I choosing my dog over him? When I say

he isn't the biggest fan, let me be clear. He takes care of him, helps walk him and feed him. He plays with him. But when I met him, he asked if we could sleep without my dog. I reluctantly agreed. But over time, and now that he's moved in, it has grown to my dog not being in the bedroom often at all. I have a one-bedroom apartment, so there isn't anywhere to be other than the living room or the bedroom. When we're watching TV before bed or just hanging out or whatever, he asks for dog free time. It's gone from my dog having my company 24-7 to about an hour in the morning and an hour at night. On weekends, it's a bit more. I can tell my dog is upset by this. He sits outside of the bedroom door sometimes. When I open the door, he's just waiting for me.

It breaks my heart because I love my dog more than anything in life. I tried to talk to my boyfriend about it before, and he told me that I can spend time with my dog whenever I want to, but it still sucks. As I'm writing this now, I asked my boyfriend if he could spend some time with us in the bedroom as we watch TV. And my boyfriend went out to hang out in his car alone so I could be in bed with my dog. He reassured me that nothing was wrong, but it hurts me so much because I love them both and want nothing more than to spend time together for us all to spend time together. Alyssa. Alyssa. Alyssa.

See you later. What the fuck? He's in his car to avoid being around your dog? That is fucked up. Yeah. He also went to smoke a split. so that's why he also went outside. Thank God. Thank God he had something to do in the car. I mean, that doesn't, I think, first of all, listen, you can't, your dog is innocent and defenseless. Like, it's so unfair to be around something like that. Like, it's like being with a baby and then abandoning a baby. And for everyone who's listening who doesn't love dogs, I understand that dogs aren't the same as children, but they're defenseless and innocent in the same way that children are. And so to take away to like, to basically, It's like punitive.

Like, this guy is setting, setting the tone for how much time you spend with your dog that was preexisting. That was a preexisting relationship that your boyfriend is now disrupting. That in and of itself is unacceptable, in my opinion. Madeline, I feel like you want to say something. Look, I feel like if he was allergic and there was an actual issue, then, like, there's something to be discussed there. Like, there's an actual bodily reason why. I don't trust people who don't like dog. I know.

There's something like innately, unless he was attacked by a dog at one point, maybe this went to discuss in therapy there. Like, I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. But at the end of the day, like, that's your baby. Get the guy out of there. Like, who needs the guy? Seriously. And why can't the dog sleep on the floor in the bedroom? Is that not allowed? Like, in a little dog. Or on your side. We're on your side. Yeah. I've tried that before. And honestly, more so than him being in the room, I think the, he asked for it initially because I snore really loud. And my dog is a French bulldog. So he snores even louder. And he just like can. take both snoring at the same time. Great. Then he should sleep on the floor outside in the living room. You and your dog can snore together in your bed like a couple, like the couple that you are. Yes. I agree. And you know what's hypocritical too is that like, for example, I went on vacation a couple months ago. He watched him for me and he slept in the bedroom with him every night. So it's not like he has a problem with him. It's just that he constantly asks for a dog free time. And I don't

won't be away from him like ever. I want to be around him all the time. That's weird though. Like I dated a guy. This is getting weirder. I know. I dated a guy that wasn't a dog guy. Like I could just tell. And I find that suspicious as well. I find that to be suspicious. It's like if you don't like dogs, like something's off. But I kind of gave him a pass and he tried. He made the effort with my dog. He would take my dog for walks. Like he actually made the effort. And I'm like, well, that's all he can do. I can't make somebody fall in love with your dog. Just like you can't make somebody love your child like that you had, you know, before you met them. So, but I do think it's very strange to ask for dog free time.

That's like some sort of controlling or weird issue. Something is often with that. Especially if he's sleeping in bed with your dog when you're not there, that feels more like a control piece. Like he doesn't want any other attention taken away from him. Yes. Right. And it really is honestly mostly just on the weekdays.

On the weekends, this isn't a problem. Like, I don't even, he doesn't really bring that up to me. But weekdays are most of your days. Right. I think he asked for a boundary. You tried that boundary out, and it's time to readjust the boundary. Like, that's not working for you. And I think that's kind of the way to maybe start that conversation.

Again, like, if he needs to sleep in a dog, but on the floor, fine. But, you know, dogs are our family. And if he can't be in your family, then, like, it's time to reassess some things. But I think he will actually acquiesce if you're just like, look, we got to adjust this boundary. It's not working for me. I need my dog. I need my dog in the room with me. Like I really, I have no other problems with this man, other than the fact that he is not like as excess with my dog as I am. And like I said, he takes care of him. Like he walks him, he feeds him. He even plays with him and stuff. It's just like I said, this dog free time that is the issue. So. Well, then if he's great, then he will be able to adjust, you know. And if you need to like talk to a counselor about this, but I think you guys can handle this. Yeah, I second back. I actually think he's going to come through.

Yeah, I think so too. So just be, you have to reset the boundary. You gave him the benefit of the doubt, and now you have to take it back. Yes. Okay. This is a preexisting relationship. You know, like he knew he was living with your dog. You have a one-bedroom apartment.

It's not like you have some huge amount of space for him to roam around. It's unfair to the dog, and you're not going to do that to your dog anymore. And get a white noise machine. If he can't handle the snoring, like, just like blast a bunch of fans in the room. That's what you got to do. That's a good idea, too. Yeah, but tell him to wear headphones when he goes to sleep. Oh, there you go.

And then tape his mouth shut so he can breathe his nose. breathe through his nose. People are loving that. Oh, no, they tape their mouths shut. Yeah, so they can be through their nose. Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking about that. I'm getting him, like, wax earplugs or something. There you go. Yeah. All right. Well, let us know how it goes, Alyssa. Yes, I will. Thank you guys so much. It was great to meet you both. Bye, Alyssa. Thanks for calling in. Thank you. Bye. That was easy. We say this as we have two dogs roaming around our room. We're like, I feel it should make it up here. I'm like, Doug, cover your ears. First of all, Yeah. If anyone wasn't like... But you sleep outside. Yeah. No kidding.

You sleep outside. Fuck off. I know. It's like when I come to bed and there's like my husband and our three pugs, like taking up the entire bed, I'm like, my family. Not that there's any room for me, but it's my family. Okay. So our next question comes from Elle.

She says, dear Chelsea, I have a conflict with my friend that I can't seem to get over. My good friend of five years is a gay man. We're both therapists and met in an old job. And we've been very close ever since. We're aligned on the state of the world. politics, all that. He's just moved to a new city. We were voice memoing texting daily, and even though I appreciated this connection and his friendship, I found his relationship at times to be negative and draining. We're both therapists, and so we both already take on the

mental load of the job on a daily basis. I was probably holding in some of these feelings when he texted me a headline about rights being taken away recently. He has a tendency to catastrophize, and therefore, through my own process of taking in daily news content, I've been careful of where I watch or read the news. When he messaged me, this alarmist headline, I validated it, but also encouraged him to make sure the source was credible. He seemed to shut down, and therefore I did let him know that I personally was trying to take an emotional distance from all the news headlines myself and needed that boundary.

Ever since then, though, our friendship has changed. I noticed an obvious decrease in communication and his attempt to see each other. About a month ago, I told him how I felt that there was distance ever since that day and wanted to apologize for it. Nice. I opened up about how I was feeling with the state of the world, which prompted my response to him that day. And while he appreciated my accountability and vulnerability, he said at that moment, he questioned whether I was a safe space. I was taken aback by this because I've always

been so empathetic. I couldn't believe that one message would make him question his ability to trust me. We ended on good terms from that conversation, and I've seen him once since, things were fine. I'm still upset that our friendship isn't the same, and I can't seem to not think it doesn't have anything to do with what happened, or is it just the natural shift of our friendship? What do I do? Work on accepting the new trajectory of our friendship, know that maybe this was for the best, or do I initiate a conversation again to try and work on the friendship more? With love, Elle. Hi, Elle. How are you? This is our special guest, Madeline Pitch. Hey, how are you? I'm so glad to be here. Thank you. I could totally understand your situation and your friend's situation because that's

not the response that they want to get, you know, when someone finds out about their own rights. It's like me texting like think about you texting one of your guy friends and saying okay they're about to overturn roe v wade and he's like check your sources you don't know what you're talking about like it's so personal that i totally understand but and now how do you kind of fix the friendship i definitely think your friendship has been impacted by that i think it would be if it were in reverse some way like if he was dismissive of your rights i think you would probably have that same reaction whether it would play out the same or not so taking that into account i don't know do you you address it again? What do you ladies think? Or do you just keep showing up as the friend

and hoping to get back to the friendship that you had? What do you think, Madeline? I've had situations not similar, but I've had friend falling out to where I wish that it wouldn't have happened. And I think it feels like it's more about what you feel aligned with. Does it feel aligned to you to keep, I mean, you're a therapist. Is you more aligned to you to continue trying to communicate? Does that feel like it's working? Or does it feel more aligned to you just like to let him come to you when the time is right and show him what the love and support is It really is, like, person dependent, I think, especially with a person you're in this friendship with, like, will they respond better to that or will they respond better to giving them space and just making sure they know that you love them? Yeah, I feel like I've been trying to, you know, ask them how they're doing, how their trip was, you know, like not be sober bearing.

But I kind of get the feeling they've kind of drifted. And I'm kind of like, then it forced me to take the look at the friendship. as a whole and reflect on it. And I was like, okay, you know what? Maybe it was a lot in general. I did find myself becoming a little frustrated at other things. And I don't want to feel like there's this underlying resentment in this friendship. I guess I would have handled it.

I don't know. Like I give people the benefit of the doubt a little bit. And especially if they apologize, you know, and that's where I feel like there's still this grudge. and it's just kind of unspoken now, and it's a little awkward. I don't know how it would be when we see each other again. I feel like it's just been continuing this distance. And even when I got Catherine's email, that morning, I was thinking, like, maybe the distance is okay. Well, let me ask you this.

Before this happened, you know, you've said there was some negativity and you felt kind of drained. When you were off the phone with this person after having a phone caller and getting a voice memo, did you feel fuller or did you feel more drained? Your question, I think I felt more drained, which is something I was kind of thinking about as of lately. I think I felt a little exhausted or a little frustrated at certain times. And that's also sad to kind of think about as well. I do love them a lot.

Yeah. I think that once you make an apology and you are clear and you meant it, which I'm assuming you did, right? You don't really apologize for the same thing multiple times. You kind of have to apologize once, put it out there, and see how it's received. That's on them how they want to receive that. If they get it, great. If they don't, you can't keep apologizing for the same act. You already did that. So I think you have to let this friendship live in this kind of new territory that it's in. You're admitting that it's draining to you. Take the space as a gift. Like take the space as like, oh, this is kind of like a little blessing in disguise.

and look at it that way and just enjoy this time that you don't feel drained by him. And if he comes back to you in a few months or if it takes a year or whatever and you guys get back on track, really be conscientious about how you're going to move forward in the relationship because it seems like you did something that shifted the relationship and that might be for the better in the long run. You know, I'm glad you apologize you should have. And now you can just like deal with it like you would tell one of your clients to deal with it. like an adult.

You did the right thing. Now you have a different kind of tone in your relationship. That's okay. Don't fight it and don't resist the reality of the new situation. And just go with it and just be relaxed about it. Don't put any pressure or any like timelines on it. Just be cool. And I, and then I think you'll have more information in a few more months

about if the relationship is going anywhere or if it's coming back, you know? Yeah. And I think weird vibes are like way easier to get past being in person with someone versus like doing your normal voice moments. demos and text and stuff. So maybe it's just like you leave it light until maybe they're back in town or whatever and then you go out to dinner and maybe things will be totally fine or you'll kind of get your answer of like now the vibes are still just too weird. I think you're right. I think like it would be less awkward obviously as a group and we're in person.

And I think because you're both therapists, there's like a tendency to want to like overtherapize yourselves about this issue. So like I think you can let yourself off the hook. Yeah. You know, you did your due diligence. As a general rule to anyone listening, like you don't don't have to keep apologizing for the same thing. People have to be graceful in accepting their apology in order for that to work, for the relationship to work. But I do love that therapists are calling in for advice to dear Chelsea. I mean, talk about a feather in my cap. Yeah, I mean, listen, we can't always take our own advice that we give to the client. You need an outside perspective is the best perspective, in my opinion. Exactly. Awesome.

Elle, well, let us know how it goes and what happens down the road. And, yeah, we wish you luck. Thank you so much. Thank you guys. Bye. Have a great day. Well, we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back with Madeline Pitch. All I know is what I've been told and that's a half-truth is a whole lie. For almost a decade, the murder of an 18-year-old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky, went unsolved. until a local homemaker, a journalist, and a handful of girls came forward with a story. I'm telling you, we know Quincy Kilder, we know.

A story that law enforcement used to convict six people, and that got the citizen investigator on national TV. Through sheer persistence and nerve, this Kentucky housewife helped give justice to Jessica Curran. My name is Maggie Freeling. I'm a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, producer, And I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find. I did not know her and I did not kill her, or rape or burn or any of that other stuff that y'all said. They literally made me say that I took a match and struck and threw it on her. They made me say that I poured gas on her.

From Lava for Good, this is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system will go in order to find someone to blame. America, y'all better work the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns. Listen to Graves County in the Bone Valley feed on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season ad-free, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. Hey guys, it's Stephanie Beatriz and Melissa Fumero, and this is more better. We are jumping right in and ready to hear from you. Your thoughts, your questions, your feelings about socks with sandals.

And we're ready to share some possibly questionable advice and hot takes. God, that sucks so hard, though. I'm so sorry. Can you out petty them? Can you match their pettiness for funsies? Yeah. We had so much fun last season, laughing, crying, talking to some new and old friends. Remember when we were in that scene where you guys, were just supposed to hug and I was standing. Oh, yeah.

And I was like, can I also hug them? I'm like, this f*** has no friends. This time around, we are, say it, Melissa. Should I? Say it. Getting a little more better. Oh, finally. It's all the dressing room talk

we loved in season one. All the things. Because aren't we all trying to get a little more better? Listen to more better on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. But the humility in knowing that life is this classroom that we should never graduate for is what is going to keep you growing. And that's all that matters. World Mental Health Day is around the corner. And on my podcast, Just Heal with Dr. Jay, I dive into what it really means to care for your mind, body, and spirit. From breaking generational patterns to building emotional capacity. Healing is a journey.

and wholeness is the destination. I'm going to walk away feeling very healed and feeling like, yes, I'm going to continue my healing journey and I'm going to get some keys from you. Listen to Jess Hilbert, Dr. J., from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hello, puzzlers. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers who say that you were given all the answers believe in... I guess they would be conspiracy theorists. That's right.

Are there Jeopardy-truthers? Are there people who say that it was rigged? Yeah, ever since I was first on, people are like, they gave you the answers, right? And then there's the other ones which are like, they gave you the answers and you still blew it. Don't miss Jeopardy legend Ken Jennings on our special game show week of The Puzzler podcast. The Puzzler is the best place to get your daily word puzzle fix. Listen on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Madeline.

All right. Well, our last question comes from Jamie. And she says, Dear Chelsea, I need your help, girl. I have a friend, Miranda, who is a 32-year-old virgin. And when I say virgin, I mean it. This girl has not even kissed a man, maybe not even hugged a guy. I wish I was kidding. I used to think that it was sweet how innocent she was, but now I'm starting to worry.

I shared a funny story to another friend, Jennifer, of how Miranda has never worn a thong in her life. Jennifer then commented that Miranda's innocence actually showed signs of a person who was sexually abused in their past life. After hearing this from my friend, it really got me thinking and analyzing some of the things Miranda has shared with me. Most recently, Miranda had a family event where I helped her choose a nice dress to wear, but her parents, specifically her dad, told her to change her outfit because it, quote, wasn't appropriate. To me, this was very weird. How can a dad tell their 32-year-old daughter to change her outfit because it's not appropriate? And mind you, this wasn't the first time he's done this. Obviously, this is a sensitive topic.

but I'm really worried about my friend. She wants to date guys and finally have her first kiss, but she doesn't even put herself out there. She's on every dating app and can't match with a guy. She's also a horrible textor, so that's no help. I want to help her out and maybe get her a date, but what my friend Jennifer said is true? Am I overstepping?

Are they talking about past lives, past lives? Past lives? Okay, well, that's a pretty big leap. I need to take from somebody. I mean, like, it looked like they were the version of the selves they are now. Yeah. I mean, that's a pretty big. Like, that's a leap.

It's a little bit of a leap. But I don't think you can jump to conclusions like that about someone's life either. Or their past lives. Like, let's not get a twisted. That's a little crazy. Yeah. This overbearing dad that, like, maybe has some religious undertones. Listen, if your father is telling you what to do and what to wear at the age of 32,

then you are probably stuck at an age that you were traumatized at, which is probably eight or nine years old. And that's why she's behaving like a young girl who's never been kissed, who doesn't know how to text. These are like young girl attributes. So I think in order for your friend to like, if you want to be helpful to your friend, you have to get her into like counseling and find a good therapist for her where she can talk to somebody about what really happened in her childhood and why she's taking direction from her dad as a 32 year old woman. Yeah. Even to just like help her get out of this sort of enmeshment with the dad who's really overbearing, like she's got to see somebody to kind of get her out of that.

And that also isn't your burden either. You know what I mean? And, like, at the same time, it's like, you can love your friend and you can give them all the resources, but you also, like, you can't force them into therapy and they're not ready for. True. So it's a really tough balance. Yeah, but you can always, I mean, there are soft and gentle ways to suggest therapy. Like, hey, I saw a couple things. I saw your father.

I thought that was very strange. Just so you know, like, that's not normal or it's not common for men, you know, for people to listen to their fathers about their outfits at your age. It's also unusual. Don't shame her. But it's also unusual that you've never been kissed. It's unusual for you to be a virgin. I'm wondering if you should really have somebody who has no, like, opinions about your life. That's kind of removing yourself from the situation to bounce this stuff off of so that you can get a real idea of if something happened that maybe you're not remembering or maybe there's a traumatic event in your life that you need to uncover.

In any of your lives. I love, I love jumping to that. I love a friend going to it. First conclusion is pass. Yeah, Madeline, did something happen? in your past life that you owe that you have this long red hair. Like it's so presumptuous to say something like that. So don't say that.

No. No. No. Okay. And tell her she can just use chat, GPT, to text boys. I mean, that's, you know.

Yeah, to learn how to do that. But then she's going to kill all those water buffalo. So, well, Madeline, it was so nice to meet you today. I mean, what a pleasure you are. Yes, absolutely. We loved having you. You know, Madeline from Riverdale,

Sightless, and the Strangers Chapter 1, but now we have the Strangers Chapter 2, which is in theaters. It's happening. And you can also go on Amazon to watch her new rom-com, which is called Maintenance Required. Awesome. Thank you. We did it.

We did it. We're wrapped. Thank you so much. Thank you, guys. Okay, take care. The word of the week is acquiesce. To accept something without protest, acquiesce. I just announced all my tour dates.

They just went on sale this week. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be starting in February of next year. So I will be touring from February through June. I haven't added second shows yet, but we probably will be to some of these. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour. Do you want advice from Chelsea?

Write into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. The murder of an 18-year-old girl in Graves County, Kentucky, went unsolved for years, until a local housewife, a journalist, and a handful of girls, came forward with a story. America, y'all better work the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns.

Listen to Graves County on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season, ad free, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. Samihante, it's Anna Ortiz. You might know us as Hilda and Justin from Ugly Betty. Welcome to our new podcast, Viva Betty. Yay! We're re-watching the series from start to finish and getting into all the fashions, the drama, and the behind-the-scenes moments that you've never heard before.

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I love that you created his system that revolves around you creating pockets of peace. World Mental Health Day is around the corner. And on my podcast, Jess Heal with Dr. Jay, I dive into what it really means to care for your mind, body, and spirit. From breaking generational patterns to building emotional capacity. I'm going to walk away feeling like, yes, I'm going to continue my healing journey. Listen to Jess Hilbert Dr. Jay from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm the homeguard that knows a little bit about everything and everybody. Let me know Lauren La Rosa.

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