Dear Chelsea - Life is Goo with Rachel Bloom

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

Rachel Bloom joins Chelsea to explore why bodies are basically goop, how pregnancy made her fear for her dog’s mortality, and why she got married so young.  Then: A Texan is hesitant to be honest on the dating apps.  A dog lover mourns the loss of her soulmate.  And a wife is ready for her soon-to-be-ex to stop lying about their upcoming divorce.  * Order a signed copy of Chelsea’s new book HERE! * From this Episode: The Daily on Online Dating * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Good morning. Good morning. Are you in New York? I'm in Seattle. I'm in Seattle.

Oh. My voice sounds fresh because of all the freshness that I've been up to. So I had a book signing here last night. I had the Oscars the night before, big party situation. Yes. Was out till about four in the morning and then got up at eight o'clock to, or no, 10 o'clock to come to Seattle for my book signing here. The internet says that you're dating Ray Fiennes, which like, seven three and me is like, hell

yeager. I saw that. Well, I'm not dating Ray Fiennes, but that, yes, I saw that. I had high hopes. I had high hopes. Yes. No, we just went from one party to another together. That's simply what happens.

That's so fun. But I did have a blast. I've had a blast all week. And it's been your birthday. Oh, yes. And I had a birthday party too on Friday night. No, Saturday night. Saturday night I had a birthday party. Saturday, I flew in from Chicago, went to my book signing at the Grove in L.A.

Then I turned around and went back to the hotel I was staying at where I was having my birthday party Saturday night, which was also a blast. Yes. Very fun. And then I randomly ran into you at The Grove. Let me tell you how many signs there were that I didn't put two and two together.

They had an Owl's Brew lemonade stand, and I was like, oh, that's Chelsea's. I like did not think you were doing a signing. And by the way, the Owl's Brew is delicious. I had the pink lemonade. I know, I know. All these girls that are coming, you know, my book signings are primarily

about 90% women, obviously. And they're all coming, and now we have the Owl's Brew at every book signing. So that's been so fun because now people get the message that for their book clubs, they should be pounding Owls Brew. Yeah, it's very tart, very delicious. But yeah, that was so funny.

And then somebody came up and said, who's doing a book signing here? And the guy behind the counter said Chelsea Handler. And I was like, oh, yeah, I know her. Yeah, I know. What a coinkydink. I know. I know. I'm like, I'm sure it was in their subliminally somewhere. But anyway, yes, we got to come say hi. I made two little friends.

And I was reunited with Doug for this way for the weekend, even though my bell started pulling her bullshit when she brought him over to my hotel room. She's like, it's okay, Doug. It's okay. Mommy's here. I'm like, I'm the mommy. Shut up. I could tell.

Don't start this shit with me again. Anyway, I'm on my way back to Los Angeles this morning and I am going to hit it hard for the next, who knows how long. I can't even look at my schedule because it's too intimidating. No, no. I know I keep asking your assistant for things

and she says you're busy. Yeah. And I've also run into so many, so many of the people coming to my book signings love Dear Chelsea and our avid listeners. So that's always nice to meet our listeners in person. And I hope you guys are reaching out to each other through different groups and stuff so that you guys can connect through Dear Chelsea and read the books together. That's great. Well, any dates that we want to hit? Vegas. I'm coming to Vegas March 21st, guys. That's my next show in Vegas, March 21st, and then April 18th. And then I announced about five more dates and I announced all my European dates. So those are selling out.

So if you're in Europe and you're listening to this and I'm coming to your city, go get your ticket because they're going. Excellent. And then also anyone who's listening who has bought my book, who has listened to my book, send us excerpts or you reading your favorite parts or circle your favorite parts because I've been reposting those and I love those. I love to see them and yes my book has now been out for almost six days. I'll be posting those and I love those. I love to see them. And yes, my book has now been out for almost six days. I'll have what she's having. Amazing. And I got a copy too now.

So I'm gonna find out all your secrets. Wonderful. Well, there's, you know, as we know, there are no secrets with me. And I also wanna mention that based on my video, my birthday videos, which we're all familiar with, hopefully, I am doing an actual ski run, bathing suit ski run on March 14th that everyone is invited to come and register for. That means you ski with me in your bathing suit down Tahoe in the Palisades,

down Tahoe in the Palisades, Palisades Tahoe, I should say. And it's, well, it's just gonna be a blast. I mean, it's just gonna be a recreation of my birthday video and wait till you see the bathing suit they have me wearing. Very excited. So our guest today, please welcome Rachel Bloom. Okay, we're here with, she's a comedian, she's a writer and she's an actress.

And you know her best probably as the creator and star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, everyone's favorite show, and she has a new special. Everyone is a very, please go on. Listen, we're just being inclusive, okay? It's very inclusive of a very small part of the population. That's not true, that's not true. That was a very hugely popular show.

Popular's an interesting, sure, yes, it was, it was. It absolutely was. It was. I was a very hugely popular show. Popular is an interesting, sure. Yes, it was. It was, it absolutely was. It was. I think you need to embrace that. Her new special is called Deaf. Let me do my special. It's on Netflix right now.

Please welcome Rachel Bloom. Rachel Bloom. Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm good. It's always really nice to see you. Always. I love seeing you. You're just a really kind person.

Thank you. I was just telling, actually, our nanny was like, oh my God, I love, she's such a fan of yours. And I was like, also, she's really nice and kind to other women, which is just really wonderful. Thank you. Now I have to start being that way to men, which is like. Well, no, well, they're fine.

That's a different thing. I know, they can be nice to each other or whatever they are. It's not really our problem. Let's talk about your special. That's a different thing. I know, they can be nice to each other or whatever they are, you know, it's not really our problem. Let's talk about your special. Death is a big character in your special. He is. And I, he is.

He is. He is, I'm scared. Well, I modeled the kind of the sum of the character based off of like men I've interacted with in like writers' rooms and so, death to me is a he. Yes, I like that. Yes. I'd like to start thinking of it that way as well and I'm sure many of our listeners feel the same exact way.

And not just a he, like a dude bro. Yeah, it was always like either, I mean there were different ways we experimented with the character that like, there was a part of him that was in Sally and then there was a part of him that was just like a dude bro. Cause like, look, hostility from comedians

comes in different forms. But either way it's, when I'm saying bad things to myself, what is my inner voice? And my inner voice is the men who I perceived as funny are being like, that's a fucking joke. Okay, I guess you could technically call that a joke. That's my inner hateful voice. Is those guys.

Is being judged by those guys. Being judged by those guys and them seeing that I am a fraud. Honestly, I mean, it's like, I still have after all these years a little bit of imposter syndrome of like, I'm very sensitive and my first writers room and experiences I had around that time was like, there would be these guys who just got really, really tough and smart and they were great joke writers, but comedy was a way to assert dominance over other people. And I've just never been good at being insulted

and coming back with an insult. I'm also not a club comic. So that's the thing is I haven't been hardened by, I've always been an alt comic, UCB TV writer. So I haven't been hardened by like drunk people in clubs throwing beers at me in a way that might've made me tougher and better at like insults and comebacks.

That's interesting. I mean, I would think that, cause you're assembling lots of different writers rooms cause you've had multiple shows. I've only had one so far. Really? Well, you have a new show that you just announced. It's a pilot, but it makes me look really good. multiple shows. I've only had one so far. Really? Yeah. Well, you have a new show that you just announced.

It's a pilot, but it makes me look really good. Yeah. Well, I feel like you need to believe that you are good because- I'm sorry. I'm underplaying things and I don't know why. You're right. But what was there before, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend?

You were doing something that was- I was a TV writer and I was like auditioning and I was doing shows at UCB. Were you a star in something or on TV? No, I was a TV writer and I was like auditioning and I was doing shows at UCB. Were you a star in something or on TV? No, I was doing YouTube videos. Oh, is that how I got to know you? It was something before Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

It was my YouTube, I was doing like YouTube videos. Okay, okay, so that's how I got to know you. But I want to assemble, I have a couple of TV things in the works where I would love to be able to assemble another writer's room. I love being in a writer's room. Yeah, writer's rooms are fun. And I love to have another show.

I have a couple shows like in the works. Yeah. It's always funny what we decide to like announce and not announce because everyone, you know, like everyone is working on, if our careers were judged by effort, everyone would be number one on IMDB, right? Everyone has like a thousand things going on. It's just, okay, are you then fortunate to get to that next level and have it

actually like, for lack of a better term, count? Right, because it doesn't, and I also conversely, the stuff is true. Like sometimes when you announce certain things, you know, that aren't necessarily a sure thing, it's like, oh, we're going to announce, you know, that aren't necessarily a sure thing, it's like, oh, we're gonna announce, I don't like the announcements of things. I like just putting things out there, you know? No, me too, me too. And this like, like the show we just announced,

so my husband and I have a show with ABC. Congratulations on getting a husband, by the way. Thank you. So I, it's so funny, because I was just listening to your interview with Sharon Horgan, who I just have been obsessed with. The best. I love her so much. Another just brilliant and also kind person. And actually catastrophe, it made me realize I want to rewatch catastrophe for the show that I'm doing right now.

The fuck was I going to... Oh, you're talking about divorce. And I am so, you know, for all of my like, I'm fucking crazy and I talk about my asshole and dicks. I've been with the same guy. Those are the two wildest things. I've been with the same guy for about 16 years. Wow. I'm a child bride.

Wow. It's very- 16 years, how old were you when you met him? We were friends since I was 18 in the comedy community because the comedy community is, you know, incestuous. And then we started dating when I was 18 in the comedy community, because the comedy community is incestuous, and then we started dating when I was 21. So you were only friends for the first few years? Yeah, I mean, we met out once.

And then what happened that you guys got together? Well, I dated a bunch of his friends. That's always a good way to get his attention. And then we just realized we really liked being together, and one day we just kissed. I mean, it was actually really, I was in LA. I was born and raised in LA and so I was back visiting my parents during college

before I did a theater trip to Amsterdam. And he was here for business because he was already a working TV writer. And he invited me to this barbecue at this place he was running in Santa Monica and we like made out on the beach and and, like, it was magical. And I went to Amsterdam and came back, and we started dating for real,

and we've just been together ever since. That's cute. It's really square. I would have never... My emotions around love were so volatile, and the people I went for were so fucking weird. Before him, I would have never thought that I would be this person in a monogamous relationship for so long, but here I am. Basic.

Why do you think, why was your relationship with other men so volatile or why were you attracted to those types of men? I mean, I did the same thing, but curious. I liked the thrill of the chase and I liked, I mean, if I'm going to get psychological about it, I liked the feeling of the thrill of the chase. It liked, I mean, if I'm going to get like psychological about it, I liked the feeling of the thrill of the chase. It was the greatest drug. Love was the, my first serious crush started when I was in about third grade. And I remember the emotions that I have. It's my friend Zach, he knows all about it.

The emotions that I had for Zach from third through seventh grade were as real. And when I say real, they were as passionate and all consuming as anything I ever felt as an adult from a very young age. And there's a term, because on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, it was a show kind of all about obsessive love. And so there's this term called limerence, which is like the sign, have you heard of this term?

I love it. It's like the scientific term for obsession. And it's what being in love is. And I'm a very, I was always a very limerent person. And so I would go from guy to guy who was like emotionally unavailable. And also like, I feel like I went for, I feel like I still like my type, you know,

you hear you like go for people who are like your parents, I have two types. I have one type who kind of looks like a male version of my mom. So like very, very lanky and skinny. And then there's a type that's the male version of my dad, which is like stocky and funny. And that's the guy I'm with right now.

But like really, if you broke them down, it's either I go for my mom or I go for my dad. That's funny, because people don't talk a lot, or enough I guess, about going for your mom, because that's gotta be a thing too. Psychosomatically, there's gotta be something where you are drawn to the people who remind you of your mother.

It's the first love of, your parents are the first love of your life, and I see it in my daughter now, where she, this is when she was like two, she noticed our wedding rings, and she said, oh, are you, what are those? We said they're wedding rings, and she's like, what's that? We're married because we love each other.

And she goes, I love you. I love mama. I want to marry mama. And I get it. And I was like really flattered. And I was like, hopefully the laws will change. No, I didn't say that. But I get it.

Like it- Hopefully the laws will go back 150 years. Yes, yes. It is weird having a kid because it is being in almost platonic love. Like I can't, it's really hard to explain. But I get that feeling of like, oh, I want to marry. Like I want to be with you forever.

Yeah, it's just the feeling of like, you just like want to be around that person. And I feel like we all kind of have that a little bit DNA wise with our parents maybe. But anyway, so the other thing I've learned about limerence, which I find really interesting. So I was it just the act of being in love or isn't there another definite there's it's kind of a more it's what's happening to your body. I was going to look at it because I want to read it to our listeners because this word

keeps coming up. I was on vacation with my British girlfriend and she was used and she used that word. And I was like, oh, yes, I remember hearing it and being like, I was fascinated by this word because it kind of has a broader meaning. So it's the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized

by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings, but not primarily for a sexual relationship. Yes. Okay, oh, that's interesting. It, what do you say? Okay, oh. That's interesting. It's like in love platonically, like you said. I mean, for me, in limerence other than like child platonic love is the only,

child platonic love. Child marriage is limerence. To be clear, I'm not in limerence with my child. But yeah, that's interesting that it says like, it's platonic, that it's all, I mean, for me, that wasn't necessarily the case because I'm so fucking straight. But the interesting thing is like,

when you look at what's happening to yourself chemically, and the woman who studied this was named Helen Fisher and she just recently died, but she studied being in love. And they basically scanned people's brains while they were in limerence. And what they found was a couple things. And I might be butchering this, so sorry for any love scientists out there. I believe that when you're in love, your serotonin plummets, which is like your wellbeing

chemical, which also, I have generalized anxiety disorder. I already have low serotonin. That's what Prozac does. It helps my neurons transfer serotonin. So before I was on Prozac, I already have low ass serotonin. Suddenly I fall in love. Whatever serotonin is left is fucking gone. And that's like your well-being. Okay, I'm good. I'm happy right now, right?

So that's fucking gone. When you think of this person, they flood you with dopamine, which is like already addictive, but if you have no serotonin, you need that person in order to feel good. And so it's close to like being on cocaine or like OCD, which I've also experienced. And so that kind of obsessive mind,

that involuntary obsession of feeling like your brain is being hacked by a dark love force is how I really lived a lot of my life. And I think it took a lot of learning from those toxic relationships and sometimes unreciprocated situations to really make me, I don't know,

find myself in a really healthy but wonderful relationship. And then I fell in love with him still, but luckily I fell in love with a healthy person. Well, that tracks. I mean, most of us when we're younger, go after the wrong things. Like we're not focused on what we want. We're focused on the way we feel.

And when we, as we mature, I mean, it doesn't sound like you were that old, but you seems to have a good grasp on what you wanted. And cause knowing someone as we mature, I mean, it doesn't sound like you were that old, but you seems to have a good grasp on, you know, what you wanted. And cause knowing someone for several years actually is a big benefit to understanding somebody and making an educated responsible, lie down, responsible decision.

In your special, you talk a lot about your fear of losing your dog when you were pregnant, which I find so funny. Why were you, because your dog was old, is that why you thought he was gonna die? Yeah, and she now just turned what we think she turned 15. She's a rescue, so we don't know. I was just with her this morning.

It made life and death, it made the cycle of life and death very real to me, and I'd had little existential crises. I'm taking off my shoes. I'd had little existential. Take your socks off too. I have some toe spacers. Do you wanna put them on? I don't need, it seems like you might want to.

Do you put on toe spacers when you're not getting a pedicure? They're not those kinds of toe spacers. I have the start of what is a little bunionette. And so in order, I'm calling it that to make it sound more delicate than what it is. I love it. And you put on these really, well, mine are black, so they're not, you know, and you put them in between your toes so that, so when your toes get a bunion, they start to, your

foot starts to narrow and you want to keep your toes spread out. So I put them on to keep my toes out so that my foot. It is working. It's fucking working. My cousin said to me the other day, don't wear those. They're so stupid and you've never even spoken to a doctor about it. I'm like, I am a doctor and they fucking working. My cousin said to me the other day, don't wear those, they're so stupid and you've never even spoken to a doctor about it. I'm like, I am a doctor and they are working. My toes are starting to spread out.

So I think everything's gonna be fine for my bunionette. Let me see your feet. They're very nice. Yeah, my very narrow feet. Yeah, but whose aren't? Yeah, I always. Yeah, what is that? Because we're walking on them.

Yeah, that's what it is. You're right. Or in my case, rollerblading to every meeting I have. That's so fucking cool. I know, thank you. So what, yes. So it made life and death real. There was something, first of all,

when I was pregnant, I was really nauseous for the first four months, and it made me depressed. And it's like a chicken or egg thing where like, I can't tell if I was depressed because I was nauseous or if I was depressed anyway but I would have these waves of nausea and with the nausea came emotions and kind of an anxiety and depression. Because it's just your hormones are going fucking nuts and there was something that happened where time, I might say it in a special way,

time basically became very real. That suddenly I was picturing, I was not only looking at these apps that was like, okay, your baby's three weeks, five weeks, 10 weeks, 15 weeks, or whatever. But also I was, you start to think about preschools, and then you start to go, okay, well, what public school district am I in?

And you start thinking about your life in a concrete way that you don't otherwise do. And I think that being in entertainment and comedy kind of flattens out age in a real way. Like I never really know how old anyone is because everyone kind of seems anyway. I don't know, it keeps people young. Yeah, that's true.

It really does. And so it was one of the first times in life that I really started to think about grown-up stuff in the future in that concrete way of like, what school is she going to go to? How are we going to save for college? And it suddenly put time and everything to do with time, it made it like too real. It felt like I was suddenly on mushrooms. And then I just thought about my dog because at a certain point,

picturing my dog at age five, at age six, seven, eight, a certain point, the dog's not gonna be there. And it just made me so sad. Yeah, I can imagine, it just made me think like, what if children were only here for a short period of time? Like that's what I just started thinking about when you started saying that about dogs. Like what if we only had children for 10 or 15 years?

I mean, can you imagine? That would make the dog thing seem so easy. I don't have an end of life thing with my dogs. Like I accept it because they're all rescues. I always get them halfway through their life anyway. Or in Doug's case, my most recent acquisition, he was nine months and that's the youngest dog I've ever gotten.

So that's just a huge advantage for me because I know I'm gonna get a good 10 years out of him. But whenever my dogs have left, it's interesting that you talk about that because obviously I've never had a full term pregnancy, but to think about the thoughts that you would have about death when you're about to give birth, because I find that those two things dovetail

quite often in lives. Like you lose a father or a loved one right before somebody has a baby. That always seems to be a very common occurrence. And so I could see why it would bring up all those thoughts. Yeah, I mean, it's primal, it's bloody. It's all, it's first breath, last breath. We're all just, we all just come from like goo and muck

and come, like it's just, we all just come from like goo and muck and come and come. Like it's all, I was in Atlanta because everything films in Atlanta. My husband was doing something in Atlanta and I was walking around and there was like a kind of swampy place that was teeming with life and it also stunk. And I was like, this is life. Life is just stinky goo and the stinkier and gooier, the more it's filled with all sorts of life and that's what life is, right? We're all just like stinky piles of goo. And so giving birth is all-

Is a stinky pile of goo. And then also like, you know, carrying, you know, when you're pregnant, the stuff that starts coming out of your vagina and I mean, the smells, like your vagina starts smelling and it's just, but that's, it's life. You know? And like when you're ovulating, like there,

have you ever looked at like pictures of cervixes? I actually have seen pictures of cervixes. It's really interesting, right? That like, when- I mean, I don't know if I could pick one out of a lineup, but I have seen them. Yeah, they're like, it's like, they look like little wet buttholes.

As opposed to a dry butthole. As opposed to a dry, a little dry butthole. They're like, it's like, they look like little wet buttholes. As opposed to a dry butthole. As opposed to a dry, a little dry butthole. They're like very pink. But what's interesting is when a person with a cervix is like fertile, it's like covered in gunk. It's like gooey. It's like meant to be gooey. And when it's like dry, it's just past your period

when like you're not meant to take in sperm. And so like, it's all just like blood and goo and death and I think there's a line, Somewhere in Smoke, I think it's a Tennessee Williams play, the lead of that show is studying to be a medical student and he's saying to the other, to the woman in the show, Alma, he's saying like he's pulling down an anatomy picture and he's like, this is what we are, and I, and I'm paraphrased, but he's like,

we're just meat. We're just gunk. We're just disgusting on the inside. And that's like, that's what pregnancy really mired me in. And then I actually gave birth and saw, I mean, I'll never forget like looking across the way, there's like a giant mirror in the room where I gave birth, and seeing the sight of like, after I gave birth,

my open vagina with the placenta at the surface and still seeing a little bit of the umbilical cord coming out of that. I remember what that looked like. It's gross, it's fucking weird. But it's life. My cousin just gave birth and her asshole was inside out when she got done giving birth, like inside out.

And my cousin, other cousin was describing it to me and I'm like, I just can't picture exactly what that looks like. And she's like, don't worry about it. But like her vagina lips, the inside of her vagina just on the table, lying there. And it's like, oh my God, it's so treacherous to even think about.

Oh, I've only had one, but my vagina. Are you gonna have more babies? I think I'm just one and done, but I know there's a sea monster aesthetic with my vagina now. Like a sea monster. There's like a little bit of prolapse with it where like if you look at my vagina,

it's like, it just looks like someone going. That's what it is. And I asked the doctor, I was like, is it normal? She's like, yeah, you're fine. It's just, yeah, you pushed a huge thing out of your vagina. So it's just like, bleh. So back to male comics, speaking of bleh.

So what is your experience? So when you're doing, because you're doing standup now. I mean, obviously you're special. You're doing standup. How has your experience been dealing with men in the standup world, really? I think that they're a lot nicer. I think generally the culture's gotten a lot nicer

and also I'm coming into these spaces now with some acclaim which changes how people treat you. Like it's, I don't even know if the way I've interacted with certain toxic people is gendered. I think it's, some people are just shitty to everyone. Like I can't really parse out how much of it is cause I'm a girl and how much of it is just cause I was, you know, when you're low on the totem pole

and you're clearly insecure, you're just an easy punching bag. So now if I come into a comedy space, I have, there's a certain amount of power that I have. And maybe it's that I carry myself with more confidence, or it's just people aren't as mean. Yeah, I think that's an important thing to recognize as a woman, like for everyone who's listening,

who people call in all the time asking like, how do you get confident or how do you, you know, I always wanna inject to everybody with confidence, because it is true, like sometimes you do have to fake it, because you can smell insecurity on people. And that's not a quality that you wanna be putting forward. So even if you have to fake it because you can smell insecurity on people and that's not a quality that you want to be putting forward. So even if you have to fake being confident whatever you think that might be or if you're mimicking someone

else you know that's confident like that is a worthwhile endeavor because I do believe in faking it until you make it. I do believe that if you act the part like you know I pretended I was wealthy and successful long before I was. I was waiting tables and taking people out to dinner. Like, I've got the tab. They're like, you're a waitress. I'm like, oh, don't worry, I've got money coming. Like, I believe that about myself.

And it turned out to be true. And I really do believe in faking it until you make it. I do believe that in all areas, not just confidence and not just career, but in all areas, like, I'm gonna have a successful relationship, a romantic relationship. If that's what you want,

you have to act like that's what's going to happen. I guess what I wish I'd tried doing with some of these guys early in my career was I wish I would have been like, hey, can we get lunch? And then just at lunch, and this is a very female thing, been like, I think you're so funny.

Like just, I'd love to talk to you more about it. And because that way then they can't bully someone, or maybe they still can, who like took them out to lunch and was like, yeah, you know, I'm still learning, like anything, anyhow, it's a very indirect female way to deal with a problem, but like, I wish I'd tried killing them with kindness more, just to see what would have happened.

I mean, it's interesting to think about that, but again, I feel like that's, feel like that's us having to give them, to assuage their ego to make them like us. And it's like, fuck you. I get what you're saying, but I also am like, no, no, no. I'm not going out of my way. I deserve as much respect as anyone standing here, even before I was successful, just because.

Just because it takes so much guts to do what we do, you know? You have to be brave. It's already, you're already dealing with a live audience. Now I need people behind the scenes being assholes too. So on stage I have that courage that you're talking about, where there's something that happens when I'm on stage that I'm like, yeah, I fucking belong here. Off stage, I don't, I'm wildly more sensitive. It's just like who I am and it's something I'm actively still working on.

Well, because I don't think you can change the fact that you're sensitive, but you can change your reaction to your sensitivity. Yeah. Right? Yeah. What I'm working on too is beating myself up less for being sensitive because of not,

because that's what's bad is when you're sensitive and then you go, why the fuck are you letting this bother? You're such a fucking idiot. Now you're sensitive and you're calling yourself a fucking idiot. Yeah, of course. You know, it's like internet comments being the best example of like,

don't read internet comments. And it's like, well, great. Now I'm telling myself don't read internet comments and I feel sensitive. So it's like berating yourself doesn't help. No, it does not help. You have to be talking very positively to yourself. We all do.

Yeah. Especially now, you know, during this kind of period of time we're all living in where we don't know what the fuck the world is going to come to, at least the world that we knew, you know, we grew up in America. We thought like democracy is a thing that is indestructible. And now we're like, oh my God, if any of these people,

you know, like these cabinet pigs go through, what happens to the FBI? What happens to all of our government agencies. And you're like, what I know to be true might not be true at all, or might not be true for very much longer. Remember when the biggest news was the president got a blowjob and stuck a cigar up someone's shot?

Yeah, Pikachu, yeah, I remember. That was the biggest news. That's how I found out what blowjobs were. All I remember thinking about that was, I remember when that story came out and I thought now, because every father knows their daughter is being sexually active, but they're not thinking about it.

They're putting it to the back of their mind. They're like, I don't wanna think about them. And I'm certainly not gonna envision my daughter sucking someone's dick. And then poor Monica Lewinsky's father knew for sure that her daughter was giving a blowjob and knew that about the cigar. Like I could not get that out of my head.

I think the first time I met Monica, no, I think I knew I was smart enough not to tell her that. Anyway, she's coming on the podcast soon. We can talk to her about it. I'm such a fan. Also, my dad went, I don't know if it was law school, he knew someone involved in the case at the time. And at the time I was like 11.

And I'd met the guy like a couple times before, I think he was really close with my dad when I was younger and he said something to my dad like, you know I was very close with Monica's family and obviously if anything like this were to ever happen with Rachel, I'd help out. My dad was like, oh, my 11 year old. So if my 11, you're saying if my 11 year old daughter

ever sucks the president cock, president's cock. I don't know why I know this story, but it's been something I've wanted to talk to Monica. I want to tell something that Monica said to me. I was at, we were at a friend's house the other night and Monica was there and she said this and I think she wouldn't mind me sharing this. She said when she had the opportunity

to vote for Hillary Clinton in 2016, not only did she take it, but after she voted for her, she started to make plans to move to England because she knew that this wasn't gonna be a great place for her to live with Hillary Clinton as the president. Not that Hillary Clinton was threatening her in any way, but just societally speaking, being the woman that did that in such a public way,

and now Hillary Clinton was the president of the United States, she just thought she would be safer in the UK, and at the same time cast her ballot for Hillary Clinton. And I got goosebumps when she told me that, because I was like, wow, what a fucking predicament, you know, what a thing to have to do. And the thing to have to consider. On that note, we're going to take a break. And we're going to be right back with Rachel Bloom. And we're back with Rachel Bloom. We are back and we're going

to take some colors and some emails. We're giving advice. Yes. Okay. Are you ready? Yeah. All right. We'll start with an email. This comes from Jen. Jen says, Dear Chelsea, long time listener, first time writer.

My husband and I, both in our mid 40s, have been married for 10 years. We have one son together and he has a son from a previous relationship, so two kids. We have started the divorce process and hope for it to be final in the spring. We haven't told the kids and we'll wait until we know what's happening with the house, etc. We're still living under one roof and are mostly cordial. It's never been a real outwardly affectionate relationship, so not many changes there. Here's the deal. My soon-to-be ex has not told his parents.

They're in their 80s and his dad is not doing so great, but okay enough that he's still at home with his wife as his primary caregiver. They live close enough to us that their family gathers on short notice about once a week. I've been able to avoid these gatherings or stop by for a couple of minutes with an excuse to get out of there.

Our anniversary, gross, was a couple of weeks ago this past weekend and my soon-to-be ex asked if I would stop by their house so they could give us an anniversary card. I declined. My issue is that I'm starting to look like an asshole because their son is lying to them. My soon to be ex says he's not telling them

because of their health conditions. My friend and family circle know the details of what is going on as I don't lie to those that I'm close with. Am I wrong for declining all of the family interaction? Do I go along with this lie? What sort of family acts like this? Love your show, Jen.

Boy. You go first. That's a really unfair situation to be put in. Absolutely. I don't know how sick his parents are. Like there's a part of me that's like, is there a different lie you could tell? So that doesn't involve you. Cause like you can't control that he's lying, but what you can control's like, is there a different lie you could tell so that doesn't involve you? Because like you can't control that he's lying,

but what you can control is like, I'm not participating. So can he say that you're going through a mental health thing and he doesn't wanna discuss it, but you'll be a little, I don't know. No, but then she's the victim of that lie too. No, you're right, you're right. I mean, I guess he should, look, the solution is just fucking tell his parents.

Well, also I would just, this is another Mel Robbins, let them, let him, let him lie all he wants, but do not participate in his lying, fuck off. Like people are- They're your ex-in-laws now, like who cares? People are sick all the time also, by the way. Like, yes, I was gonna say the same thing, how sick are they?

But also, that's not your problem. Your marriage is ending, you need closure, everyone needs to know about it. They're gonna find out. They're gonna find out, and you don't wanna be an asshole for participating in the lie. So I would say extricate yourself from that

and let him tell them and say, you're not doing anything anymore with them. And if they think you're, or if he doesn't, if he's still lying and they just think you're a bitch, then like, okay, they're not your in-laws anymore. Or you can also say, hey, if you don't tell them, I will, but then that puts the onus on you and you don't need that kind of onus to have to tell them.

Because what if he doesn't tell them, and then you do have to tell them? You can threaten to do that. And then when he doesn't tell them, just, you know, just, I don't know. Hopefully you're- But her kids know, right? No, the kids don't know,

because they're waiting to see what happens with the house. I feel like that might be the turning point here. That's when you can start being like, fuck it, if the kids know. But there's no obligation to participate in seeing his parents all the time. Just stop that. Just say you're not, yeah, whatever.

Like whatever you need to say. But you also don't have to lie for other people. And I'm sick of people wanting you to participate in their lies. I mean, at some point the parents are gonna be like, do we do something wrong that you're not coming over? And at that point it's like, we're getting a divorce. Did your son not tell you?

It's not your problem. Unless they call her specifically, and at which point she could be like, yeah, we're getting divorced. Exactly. Right. I thought he told you. I thought you knew.

But if they just think you're an asshole, that's not your problem. Yeah. Yeah, you won't be dealing with them for very long anyway if you're getting divorced. Yeah, I would have assumed your son would have told you, I think is the line after like, oh, no, we're going to. Problem solved.

There you go. All right. Well, our next caller, Maya writes, Dear Chelsea, I probably don't need to explain why dating as an Israeli American has been daunting and scary this year. I barely identify as Jewish. My mom has to tell me when all the holidays are and to show up for dinner. But your nationality, of course, is something that's hard to hide. Before this year, my dual nationality was something I was more than happy to share upfront because it's a core part of my upbringing, but now I feel like I have to hide it because who knows who is on the other side of these dating apps. I'm a bleeding liberal too, so it's a higher chance that the like-minded liberals I'm

seeking are also anti-Israel. I'm fully American passing since I grew up in the US, so I can of course just not mention it when chatting in an app, but honestly honestly it's such an emotional issue for people right now, I do not want to be the recipient of someone's misdirected rage. Dating is already brutal enough, and this has tipped me over the edge toward just giving up. I have tried putting the Jewish filter on the apps, but I live in Texas, so after swiping through the five Jewish men, I see no one is left.

There also isn't a Jewish organization I've been able to find to meet people in real life that's not religious. I'm agnostic. I'm really happy on my own and live close to family and great friends, so moving for the sake of dating really is of no interest to me. I don't at all feel desperate for a relationship, but I do want to find my person and it doesn't seem like the geopolitical circumstances are going to change anytime soon. I guess the gist of my question is, if I don't want to shut myself off to a wider pool of

non-Jewish men in an already challenging dating world, how can I approach dating in an open and optimistic way that still preserves my emotional safety instead of out of fear? Any advice? Maybe your one straight single agnostic Jewish man or his sisters are listening. Maya? Well, hopefully they are listening. Hi, Maya. Hi.

Hi, this is our special guest, Rachel Bloom is here today. Awesome. Hi. Hi, you've got Jews in the house. So what dating apps are you on? I've kind of, well, currently I'm not super active, but usually whenever I join it's Hinge.

Mm-hmm. And do you like present yourself as Israeli? You don't. You're just... No, I used to, you know, pre last year and now it's just kind of, I don't know, it's such a polarizing topic that I don't know, I feel like it will automatically turn a lot of people away. Yeah, absolutely. Like I don't think it's worth advertising. You know what I mean? You don't have to be like, I'm Israeli, because that almost sounds like you're only,

like, you know, it makes you- Making a political statement. Yeah, making a political statement. And it also centers your identity in a way that like might not be relevant to- To who you are. To actually your dating life at all. For sure, for sure.

Where it's like, if I put on a dating profile, like I am of Ukrainian descent. Okay, like what, I mean, what? Yeah, yeah, if I put on a ding for like, I am of Ukrainian descent. Okay. Like what, I mean what? Yeah. Yeah. Like I grew up in the States and so it's like, sure. You know, I have family there and I speak Hebrew, but it's not my current identity,

I would say. And have you experienced men being like, once they find out that you're Israeli, that they don't want to date you? Um, no, but I also honestly have just been kind of nervous to go on the apps this year. I've just been actively avoiding it. I did join Hinge last month for like a week. I chatted with a few people, didn't mention anything, set up a few dates, and then I just ended up canceling them all because just that the sort the, I don't know, it made me anxious.

I know, but I don't think you should catastrophize the situation because A, that is not a boiling point for every single person in this world. It's shameful that people are blaming anyone who's from Israel for Israel's policies. And listen, this conversation is an unwinnable conversation because this has been going on for eons and eons. You can't help who you are.

Regardless of where anyone stands, this is literally just who you are. And many people in this world have no interest in that at all. The Palestinian Gaza conflict and the Israeli Gaza conflict. Many people don't even care about that. They don't understand it. They don't want to get involved. You know, I know we're dealing with this like movement that everyone, you know, that we're experiencing

since October 7th, but that's not inclusive of the whole world. So I feel like you're projecting your worst fears onto your dating situation when it's not necessary to do that. If you go on a date with a guy and you go out with him a couple of times, you're gonna get a sense of who he is and what he stands for and if that's gonna be something

that he's staunchly against. And I would venture to guess that it won't be. Like, you're not gonna be only running into people that are pro-Palestinian and anti-Israel. Even though you're in Texas, there are still plenty of people who are not engaged in that conflict, who are not paying attention to that conflict.

We're living in America. You know what I mean? There are a million things going on that people are interested in. And many people are not interested in politics. So I think you have to reframe the way that you're looking into things. You don't need to represent yourself on the dating apps

that way. I think what you need to represent yourself on the dating apps that way. I think what you need to do is be a little bit more open-minded and try not to come from this place of fear and try to be like, you know, someone meets you three or four times and gets to know you, even if they do have strong feelings about that,

they're gonna go, oh, well, wait, here's a perfect example of someone who's from Israel, who is not, you know, whatever your position is, like you're not a threat to that person, you don't have completely opposing views to that person, you probably would find that out sooner than three or four dates before you even reveal your personal life.

And I feel like religion is personal. And you're not even very religious, you said, you're kind of agnostic, right? I mean, I'm an agnostic Jew too. I relate to Jews, absolutely. I was raised that way and I'm very proud to be a Jewish person, but that doesn't preclude me from interacting with people who have different mindsets.

And so give yourself a little bit more like wiggle room in the dating area. You're gonna know someone and get to know someone a little bit before you even have to make that kind of decision or call. As a fear-based atheist Jew, two suggestions and questions. One, have you considered J-Swipe or does it suck? I've never actually heard of that.

Me neither, what's J-Swipe? Okay, so this is, I've been with my husband for 16 years, so I never internet dated. So this is mom coming in. J-Swipe is what I believe what J-Date now is, and it's its own app. If you're worried about, cause I get it, like you're worried about just like someone coming at you

for something you truly can't change about yourself. So I wonder, I just wonder about, I've heard different things about J-Swipe. Again, I apologize if I'm, maybe I'm saying an app that is already defunct because I've never online dated. But the other thing is, because I'm fully like an atheist, but I don't know how much you've checked out local temples and like Jewish organizations, but like, and maybe this is like an LA thing, but there are some reform places that are like,

the God is optional, this is much more about the culture, that I wonder if you did a little bit of poking around and digging, because there are certainly places like that in LA where you can fully like be an atheist and it's cool. Like it's part of the culture of that place. And I wonder, I don't know what city you're at in Texas, but there are definitely places and Jewish spaces to go to that aren't just like, well, it's all about God.

Yeah, I think, you know, like you said, you're atheist, I'm agnostic. I think it is, I've avoided that kind of thing because to me that is very religious centered. But you know, I don't know know I think there's one synagogue here so yeah but I mean have you done research online and looked for any sort of like Jewish community stuff or Jewish dating stuff because listen you're not like you're not the only Jewish person in Texas and I guarantee you there are other people who are feeling the way that you're feeling that want to be congregating like with each other or dating with each other and mixing with each other.

And it doesn't have to be religious based. I'm a reformed Jew, like I was raised like that. And that's like, you know, it's just like the bare minimum of being a Jew. And it's very casual, you know, it's not like religious folk. It is culture focused. It's not as religious as like being a conservative

or an Orthodox Jewish person. And I understand that it can feel ostracizing, but I wouldn't give up hope that there are more communities that you just don't know about yet where you are. I bet you there's a JCC not too far. I mean, I don't know where you're at in Texas, but like a place like that, that it's a Jewish community center that's so,

I mean, I live in the most like liberal, agnostic place ever, so I'm surrounded by like Jewish spaces that are very much like God optional. But I feel like if you looked, if you did a little poking, even on like Reddit maybe, I bet there are some spaces where, cause like it's so Jewish to be agnostic. Like that's like a very, like that's the trick is you say to any rabbi, I'm an atheist,

they go, well, that's very Jewish. So I feel like there have gotta be pockets. And also, I mean, side note, my cousin used to be a rabbi in Texas, so I could on the DL ask him for tips. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, yeah, I could text him right after this and then just separately reach out to you

and see what he says. Oh, I'd love that, thank you. Yeah, and I love expanding your area. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to move. Like you could have like kind of a long distance fun, like flingy thing, or somebody that you visit here and there and that's great, or maybe somebody wants to move to where you are if it gets serious enough, you know?

Yeah, expanding your area is good too. I do like that idea because I'm a big advocate of long distance relationships. I think those are more fun anyway than having somebody up your ass all day long every day. It gives you something to look forward to and it gives you someone to communicate with and sext with and flirt with and all that fun stuff.

That beginning period of a relationship is the most fun part of the relationship where you're constantly talking on the phone, making plans to see each other. Like that is fun. And long distance extends that. Yes, it see each other, like that is fun. And long distance extends that. Yes, it does.

It does extend that. Yeah. Also, I wanted to say J Swipe Israel is the number one Jewish dating app. Oh my God, look at Rachel Bloom on the, with your finger on the pulse of all Jews. I will look into that immediately after. Yeah, and just, also just really in your head,

don't catastrophize the fact that you're from Israel and that you're Jewish. That's okay, that's okay. And most people who are reasonable will understand that. You're not gonna wanna go on a second date with any guy that's not gonna understand that anyway. And also you don't have to divulge that immediately. But be a little bit more like broad minded,

not to the point of being naive. You know what's happening in the world. We all do, we're all aware of what's going on, but just to be a little bit more open-minded and give people a little bit more credit. If you start to understand, if you go on a couple of dates with somebody that doesn't know you're Israeli

or they don't know you're Jewish, and after a couple of dates, you're gonna know whether or not to share that information with them. That's a fair point. You could also try doing it on, it's like hinge, right? You could also try doing it, see what happens. I don't know if you have a close friend that like maybe you could give them your hinge

password and they could check messages for you and just be like, so what is it? So that way you don't have to read, just in case like you start getting bombarded with stuff. Again, I've never been on apps, so I don't have to read, just in case you start getting bombarded with stuff. Again, I've never been on apps, so I don't know what apps look like really, but is there a friend that you could be like, hey, could you just, I started doing this a week ago, can you just take a look through the messages,

let me know what the vibe is? And if they're like, I don't see anything, and then you know it's safe, and that way you haven't read a ton of terrible things. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. I think my main concern is, you know, if I wait two or three dates to divulge this key part of my upbringing,

even if it's not, you know, my life now to just spring it on someone a few dates in, but I get it, like, it is protecting myself too, you know, and getting to know someone before, if I'm feeling nervous before divulging that. Do you say agnostic Jew in your profile? To be honest, I don't know. I think I put just agnostic.

Cause if you say agnostic Jew, then you're like kind of letting people know you're Jewish and anyone who's like, doesn't want to date a Jew, period, won't date you. I feel like that might help narrow some stuff down too. Yeah, that's true. Something I listened to recently, The Daily just did a piece on,

it's on dating over 50 online, which is not necessarily your situation, but there were some really good tips in there about, it's the haystack theory they say, like how do you find a needle in a haystack? Light the haystack on fire. So basically it talks about totally reinventing your online persona and like really whittling down

to like here's actually who I do want rather than having the broadest possible results. And a lot of people have found some success with that. Just check that out. There's a bunch of good tips in that. That does make sense. You know, you are weeding people out. I just wouldn't want her to become a target, you know, for people who are like, oh, you know.

Let me make my stance on hinge. Yeah, like. That's why I'm like, is there someone who could like go through the first batch for you? You're saying to identify herself as a Jew, as an agnostic Jew, and then ask someone. Yeah, people like see agnostic Jew, that means certain things to different people,

and then see like what the type of messages that come in, and then like maybe you have a friend who helps you whittle through that way it's not just all on you if the messages get really volatile. Yeah, I could probably ask my sister to do that. She'd probably love that. Yeah, that's a great idea.

I'm an only child, this is when I get really jealous. Of having a sibling. Yeah, yeah. That sounds really nice. Sisters love this kind of stuff. All right, well will you let us know how it goes? I will, yes. Thank you all so much.

Also, I'll message my cousin. Oh, yeah. Thank you, Rachel. It's the most Jewish thing I ever, like, I'll just ask my cousin. Exactly. Yeah, is he single? He's super not.

Oh, okay. Well, maybe he has some Jewish single friends. I think you have to have a more optimistic outlook. Be hopeful and be optimistic. The whole place is godless. And also, sister, like listeners, if you are those sisters who have a brother, send us an email.

Thank you. Thank you so much, Maya. Okay, thank you all. Bye, Maya. Good luck. Bye. I feel like we gave her eight different things to do. I know.

We're like. But that's good though, lots of things to try. I've heard of this thing called Chase. Well, you were right on the money on that. I know. Someone's paying attention. Well, we have one on the money on that. Someone's paying attention. Well, we have one more caller. We can either take our little break

and come back for our caller or. Okay, we'll do that. We'll take a break and we'll be right back with Rachel Bloom. And we're back. We are back. Our last caller today is Deanna. She says, dear Chelsea, here's my situation.

I'm in my early 40s, never married, no children. I have a long term boyfriend of almost eight years. He came with a dog, Yama. Over the years, Yama and I created a very strong bond. Through COVID, moving to different states, countless hikes and backpacking trips and working remotely, he has been by my side. Best coworker ever. In the beginning of October, his health took a turn. He went from 60 pounds to 40 in a matter of weeks. We treated him for all sorts of things, nothing worked. My strong dog, who hiked up countless mountains with me,

couldn't even get up the stairs. The vet deduced it had to be cancer, so on October 23rd, we said goodbye. It happened fast and I had been taking it really hard. I'm not exaggerating when I say I haven't loved anyone or felt closer to anyone than I did with him. Then add this election business and I just feel so lost and alone. I know you're a dog mom and I know you've suffered great loss in that arena. Any advice on how to press forward?

At this moment, I never want another pet again. The idea of going through this feels masochistic, but I know that's my grief talking. Appreciate any advice you can share. Love you and all that you do, Deanna. Hi Deanna. Hi. How are you? We have another dog lover here today, Rachel Bloom. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. I really feel you. Oh, I'm sorry that you lost your lover. Thank you. That was really hard to listen to again. Yeah, I'm sorry. No, it's okay. Honestly, you need to get another dog. You do. You're going to love another dog just as much as you loved this dog. Your love is, that is not like, you know, like it doesn't.

It's not finite. You need to give your love to another person or another thing or another animal. And like that's how it happens. When, as soon as I lose it, as soon as I see one one of my dogs going downhill I get another dog so that it will soften the blow when I lose my dog because there are so much love to be had in this world there are so many animals that need to be loved in the way that you're discussing your love or the way that you expressed your love for your dog you have to give that away to someone else and you will and that will help you heal

I promise you that will help you heal. I promise you that will help you heal. You don't have to get a puppy, go get a rescue dog, you know. Yes, of course and go look at and fall in love and transfer that love that you had. You don't even have to think about it, it will happen. You can also try fostering as like a way station if like you're not ready. Also, I don't know if this is what you're feeling, but I feel like there's a certain shame sometimes of over people mourning pets where they're like, I know it's just a pet. I know it's and it's and I think in case that's a part of you that's like, I don't know why I can't get over this.

Just allowing yourself to feel the grief over this being that you loved and if it were a human what grief would you allow yourself? Rachel, that's exactly what I'm feeling now. Yep. Thank you for that validation. And also you're saying, I don't know if I could ever go through this again. Like you can, you're, you're sitting right here. You're going through it. You are surviving. You can go through this again. You're going to go find another dog. You're going to foster it or you're going to rescue it and you're going to form a bond with it.

And if it doesn't work with the first dog or you don't feel it, then great. Then you'll get a different dog if you foster a dog or if you, but I promise you when you adopt a dog, it's very unlikely that you are not going to have the same feelings that you're describing. It won't be the exact same because no two dogs are the same, you know, but your love is the same. You know, the love that you extend to a pet is not measurable.

It's not like you love one dog more than the next. I've had about six dogs now in my life. And I, whoever, my favorite is always the one that's alive. You know, so like it's a less emotional way of looking at it, but I promise you, like when you have that kind of love to expend you need to expend it Okay, that's really good to hear. Yeah, and also grieve grieve all you want like what Rachel said, absolutely But also think about how you could impact another dog's life with all that love. That's true. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah Well, thank you for having me on.

Yeah. Send us a picture when you find your new buddy. Yeah. Yeah. If you find your new lover, send us a picture, please. We love that. I sure will. Thank you. Okay. Thanks for calling. Thanks, Deanna.

Thank you. Bye. It's sad when people are debilitated by their pet's loss, which is what's gonna happen to you, unfortunately. I see it coming down the pike. I mean, I joke in the special about like, I mean, pet lot, those websites for pet loss are the most embarrassingly earnest things

like the art around pet loss. All of it is so embarrassingly earnest and also it makes me very emotional. And I think like, yeah, like they're people. So it's okay to grieve them. Absolutely, it's okay to grieve them. Absolutely, it's okay to grieve them. The bond is so powerful with dogs, especially I think with cats, if you're a cat person.

And we have a kid and we still, I mean, it hasn't diminished our love for our dog. Yeah, I know, some people have kids and then they're like, oh, we gave our dog back, we gave our dog away. I'm like, what? How could you do that? Also my dog and my daughter are like best friends. Well, I think the dog tolerates her,

but my daughter calls Wiley her sister. Oh. She literally says like other people at school would be like, I have a brother, I have a sister. She'd be like, I have a sister and she is a dog. And that's what we teach her. I love that. Thank you, Rachel Bloom for being here.

Make sure you guys catch her special on Netflix. It's called Death Let Me Do My Special. It's on Netflix. Make sure you watch it and special on Netflix. It's called Death Let Me Do My Special. It's on Netflix. Make sure you watch it and look out for Rachel Bloom. Everywhere, she's just around the corner. It'll only take me 50 minutes. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me.

Yes, always. We'll see you guys next week. Bye. Do do do do do do. Drum roll, Katherine, please. Chelsea Handler abroad abroad is my European tour which I just announced. Tickets go on sale tomorrow or today or there's a pre-sale code Chelsea. So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I need to get the hell out of this fucking country.

And it's not as easy as you think. So I'm coming to Reykjavik, I'm coming to Dublin, I'm coming to the UK, I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May and June. I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, New Zurich, Vienna, I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona, Lisbon.

I'm coming. Abroad is abroad. That sounds like fun, I'm gonna go see you abroad. I know, I wanna go see me abroad. There I'll be, there I'll be. Excellent. Okay, all upcoming Vegas dates, March 21, April 18, July 5, August 30, November 1, and 29 at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.

If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at dearchelseapodcast.gmail.com and be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com.