Dear Chelsea - Mahjong is the New Pickleball with Kevin Kane

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

Kevin Kane (Law & Order SVU) stops by to discuss NOT having an affair with his now-wife, why he thinks we should bring back (a little) bullying, and why mahjong is the new pickleball.  Then: A tarot reader wants to go full-time.  An auntie wants to escape an escape-room birthday.  And a girlfriend is thrown when she learns her boyfriend slipped into her bestie’s DM’s first.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel,

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with the Inner Cosmos podcast. And for Mental Health Awareness Month, we'll talk with singer-songwriter Jewel about anxiety. I started living in my car and then my car got stolen. I was having panic attacks. I was like, we're aphobic. This is a month of deeply personal and honest conversations about what happens when the brain goes off course. Listen to Inner Cosmos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone, it's Ryder Strong and Wilfredel from PodMeets World. And now the PodMeets Twirled podcast. We're two men who were completely clueless to reality TV, and we're gearing up for the season

finale of Survivor. I know we annoyed a lot of our listeners by our severe lack of survivor knowledge. That is the point of the show. I'm just going to remind you. Again, we are experts. Listen to Pod Meets Toural on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and Mighty Tour. In May, I'm coming to Saratoga Mountain Winery.

That's in California, Saratoga, guys. I'll be in Monterey and I'll be in Modesto. And then on the 30th of May, I will be in Vegas at my residency. In June, I will be in Saratoga Springs, New York, Portchester, New York. I'm coming to Boston at the Wang Theater. I'll be in Portland, Oregon, Seattle, and then Hyannis, Massachusetts, and then two shows in Nantucket.

In August, you can find me in Red Bank, New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary. That's Canada. And September, I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho and Spokane.

And then in November, I'll be in San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, babies. I'll be there. And then in December, I am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your tickets at Chelseahandler.com for the high and mighty tour. Okay, hi. Hi, Catherine. Hi, hello.

I don't know why I'm talking like that. I'm going to tell you congratulations for an amazing set last night at the roast. Oh, that was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun at the roast. You looked incredible. The boobs were boobing. Like, you just, like, absolutely crushed it. Thank you.

My favorite part about the roast was that I was so touched by the audience's protection of me when anybody went in on me for being old or ugly or – I don't think they said ugly, but whatever they said, or ugly or old, old – The audience wasn't into it. And I liked – I was like, oh, that wasn't my audience. It was an audience. And I had never felt protected like that. And I was like, oh, I felt loved.

Yeah. So that was nice. And I loved, I just loved it. I had the best time, I had the best time preparing for it. I had to run around, rehearse my sets. I had to get a spray tan. I felt like Nikki Glazer all week going. Incredible.

I was like texting her. I'm like, I'm pulling a total Nikki. I'm like I, but I liked the preparation that went into it. And it was just awesome. So I had a great time. And I realized it was at the forum. I know. I know it was. It was really fun. That's exciting.

Well, thank you. Congrats. It was really, really great. So in case you missed it, go check out the roast of Kevin Hart on Netflix. Should we talk about our guest today? Yes. Our guest today is Kevin Kane. Oh, my gosh.

You know him from inside Amy Schumer and Law & Order SVU. Please welcome Kevin Kane. Catherine's obsessed with SVU. I am. Watch out. She's going to give it to you. Good. My husband and I have been rewatching from the beginning.

I mean, it's kind of like who is it. How can you rewatch for the beginning? Who is that kind of time? Takes a long time. We're on season nine, I think, right now. But how many seasons of SVU are there? Well, I've been arrested on that show several times. So you'll see me a bunch before you get to my role now.

You were arrested and then brought back as a regular. Yes, but I was never a creep. So that's the thing that let me come back. Oh, thank goodness. Okay, Kevin, I just asked Kevin, this is my first time meeting you. Nice to meet you, by the way. We've actually been introduced a few times, but I do this thing. with somebody who I love and respect, I do you the favor of never talking to you and hiding in the back to the

wonderful. I'm because I think I was around with you and Schumer somewhere. I'm sure, because you and Schumer are like writing partners. I mean, you've written lots of things together. Well, yeah, producing and, yeah, direct each other and all this stuff. Right, right. So you guys have had a long relationship. And I know, like, a lot of the comics that, you know.

Okay. Okay, great, great. Well, I was just saying to Kevin, are you married or sing? because there's a problem with white men, single, straight white men right now. And I was at a party and there was all these like amazing women and they were all just saying the same thing. Like they're all single. They all can't meet somebody.

And I'm just like, I don't understand how this is possible. And I understand as like a strong, independent woman that men are sometimes intimidated by successful women. I get that. I think it's silly, but it exists, unfortunately. And I'm just wondering when were we going to get to a time where that doesn't exist. So I did this like dating app on my Instagram. I was like, you know what?

I'm going to start actually asking straight men to reach out to me and go through the possibilities or the prospects for women and start setting people up myself. And I'm just going to take it on myself. I'm like, I'll fucking handle this. I can get the job done. And so I did kind of like an open casting call, if you will. And I said, contact me if you're really looking for a relationship,

not just casual sex. You're not on, you know, you could be on the apps, whatever. but just be honest about what you're after. And I have a lot of eligible women in my life. I know a lot. Amy's now eligible too. Not that I would ever fucking set her up with anyone. But I have a lot of eligible, wonderful women, successful, smart, beautiful, all of the

things that you would want. And please reach out to me if you're interested in meeting one of these women. And I got about 90% of my DMs were from gay men looking to hook up. And so I'm like, this isn't a fucking grinder. Like, I'm not worried about gay men hooking up. Yeah. It feels like that's happening in a very healthy way. Right.

Right. Yeah. But the dearth of men, straight men that responded, it's not that I have any delusions about the amount of straight men that are following my Instagram account. But I do, I was, I just, I couldn't believe like. Like none at all? No, a few, you know, a lot of older guys, which is fine. I'm working on it.

Like, we're going to do this. I'm serious about it because I really want to connect. people. But there were so many women, like ex-wives or daughters of men that reached out on behalf of the men. Not the men reaching out directly. And then when I would be like, oh, there's a guy in Philly. He's 55. He's looking for someone between the ages of 40 to 50. Be pretty specific. Like I have a big wide net of casting. Be specific. And I'll try to help you. And then we found him, you know, we found three options in Philadelphia to this straight guy. We sent him three options. And he, doesn't respond to any of them.

And I finally, you know, I have my social media team working on it. And they send it to his ex-wife. We're like, listen, we can't get a response from him. Do you think you were just an additional app? You think, like, maybe they have, they're on, like, three other apps and they're just addicted to scrolling other, they got, like, a lot going on? Yeah, possibly. But, like, there's a lack of initiative.

And there's a lack of, you know, like, there's a lack of interest. It's almost like straight men, you know, I, I don't. understand straight man feel under attack. I get that. And I don't want to. I just want to slap a straight man who says that. I really do. I know. I just, I, that's the straight man syndrome comes out like me. Like, I just, I want to get aggressive and, and violent with, like, when I see Elon Musk on a stage, like, I just like, somebody just give him the biggest wedgey possible. Yeah. Or just humiliating him and, like, just like, I think we went too far with the anti-bullying thing and just bully these. Right. Right. Right. Right. bully them. Yeah. Just so we can all come to help them. He's particularly disgusting.

Yeah. So I'm not trying to help those kinds of guys. No, I get it. I get it. Because I have no interest in these fucking losers. But I do, I don't. You think people are gun-shy. I don't want to give up on straight men is what I.

I don't want to give up on them. I believe that maybe there could be some potential. You're a straight guy who recognizes it. So what do you think the fucking problem is? I, you know, I think people aren't putting themselves out there in person and it's just become a habit. You know, it's like it's, and you're letting people do kind of casual kind of connections and hookups and things like that that. I just feel like people are just gun shy, just gun shy from putting themselves out there. Now, like, I missed the whole app thing.

I missed the whole, like I. Lucky you. Yeah, like I missed it by a couple years. Thank God, because who knows what the hell rabbit hole I'd throw down. Right, right, right. Right. But I think it's really like, I witness people comparing themselves a lot. And I think the insecurity of men is just at an all-time high too, because that's all in everybody's faces all the time. I think that's a major component is that we've, and I, and I understand, like, I'm with,

obviously, I'm with you and probably way ahead of you with regard to men. And I don't want to hear about them bitching about their attack. But I also have a feeling of like, Catherine, And like, I feel sympathetic to a certain degree. Like, wait, I don't want to throw out the baby with the bathwater. There are good men out there. There are. I'm dating a guys. Are you trying to say hashtag, not all men, Chelsea?

Is that a hashtag? I'll employ that on my new dating app. They asked me this morning, my agents were like, do you want to do a dating show? I go, no, I don't want to do a fucking dating show. Would you do want to be, like, Instagram matchmaker? I don't want, I mean, I don't really want to do it myself. Yeah. I just want people to be happy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think part of the reason why men are, like, feeling this way is because they have lost their way and they don't understand how to interact with women. And I want to kind of help re-educate them. Like, maybe there should be an emotional IQ test or a social IQ test and see, like, what would you do in this situation and then send them to, like, a doggy camp for six weeks? That would be. So they can train. Yeah. You know?

That, I think everybody needs training right now. Like, I think that's really the most important part of the process. That's how I feel. Maybe you should put the training up front. Yeah. Well, I feel like if you're going to contact me, you know that that's what's going to be required. Like, it's not going to just be like you're in. You're going to be like, okay.

And also there's going to be repercussions if you're an asshole about it. Yeah. If you, you know, so basically they're aggregating like 10 eligible bachelors. I'm going to throw them up on my Instagram and let the women have at it. Yeah. And say, these guys are looking for love. These guys are looking for a relationship. You know, whoever wants them wants them.

Because that's different than putting up a bunch of women and then having men. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. for them. I think that's appropriate. A lot of guys I know are chasing their time, right? They think they don't have enough money yet. They don't, they're not at the spot where they're supposed to be to really put themselves out there. And it becomes this kind of like, kind of arrested development

in middle age. You know what I mean? Like it's, I'm getting clear of this. I'm just a few steps away from this and they're not ever, like you just kind of have to give them a kick in the ass to put themselves out there. Yeah, that's an interesting. That's a good point that you raised. How did you meet your wife? Years and years ago and years ago? You know, I haven't told this story publicly, but she was making a film with her boyfriend at the time. Oh, nice. And they cast me as her husband in the film.

Oh, whoopsie, dude. But nothing shorted happened after that. But they broke up, we became friends, and then we kind of hooked up a few years later after that. But it sounds very sorted. It does sound sordid. And it sounds exactly like what somebody would say if they did have an affair on set while somebody was in a relationship. And if anybody knew me at the time. They would have believed that. Yeah, for sure.

But also, I think once you get married and you're married to that person, even if you did have an affair, who gives a shit? Like, you're married. So that's more important than the relationship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Yeah, but I'm like this thick-headed Irish asshole. So, like, I could see myself just 10 years because just I want to prove you wrong. You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Just getting married to be like, oh, yeah. It's like Woody Allen and Sun Yi. Like, I believe they're still married because he's like, this is not my daughter. We were meant to be together. And it's like, now it's your fucking daughter. And Ted Light, that's just going to be his last breath. I told you.

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This morning, the internet lost its mind. Highlights are trending, opinions are flying, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where Sports Slice comes in. I'm Timbo. Every episode we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the plays, the controversies, and the stories behind the headlines. We go straight to the source, the athlete themselves, their locker room stories, their reactions, the stuff nobody gets to hear. The laughs, the drama, the triumphs, the moments that never make the highlight real. From viral moments to historic games, from buzzer beaters to controversial calls, we break it down, give you context and ask the questions everybody wants answered. Sports Slice brings you closer to the action with stories told by the people who live them.

Listen to SportsLice on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more, follow Timbo Slic Life 12 and the TikTok podcast network on TikTok. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of

turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us like. Lysen to a slight change of plans on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. How did you and Amy Schumer start working together?

We met in an acting program. Really? Yeah, with William Esper's studio. Oh, what's that? Tell me, I like hearing about acting classes. Bill Esper was like this famous acting teacher. We got to work with people that he taught years ago, like Jeff Goldblum, and so he's been around since, like, the 60s.

It was like a two-year program. and you sort of like reveal yourself to your classmates. Like you'd just kind of get broken down like the Marine Corps in the first year. It's in tears and everybody breaks up from their relationship. And like you just sort of bond. So you do it for two years? You have to commit to two years of acting class? It was a two year Meisner program.

Oh, that sounds intense. How old were you when you did that? I was, you know what it was? It was like my mother had just passed away. I was in my 20s. And I was just like I was living in L.A. with a girlfriend who was in one of those pop bands. And I was just like, I gotta get out here.

I came back to New York and I... Did you break up with your girlfriend? No, well, yes, by the end of the two years, they were right in their predictions. Because it's a thing where you like, you're always having to be honest about your impulses and what you're thinking and telling the truth all the time. All the time?

Yeah, I mean, like on the stage. So you're always conscious, like, a process, stop lying yourself, stop protecting yourself and all that stuff. And so it just happens. Everybody's just kind of in their little protective womb and people would end up breaking up with whatever relationship they were in at the time. Also, because you're in your 20s and everybody's an idiot.

Right, right, right, right. I've never heard of William Esper. Yeah. I like this. I mean, I'm interested. I like to hear about different techniques. Yeah, he was like the, I think he was like one of the first teacher, Meisner trained as a teacher.

So it was like he started his own school. He'd been there for a long time. It's still there. His wife runs it. And do you apply all of that work? Is that the only kind of acting training that you've done or have you done other acting training? I did it in college, which was kind of worthless, you know.

But this is a very old school, like, kind of methodology that you stick to. Yeah. And Amy and I did it and we applied it to sketch comedy. We applied it to everything. And it's always kind of worked for us. It's been like a little trick up our sleeve. Yeah. And what was the first thing you guys?

What was the first project that you guys worked on together? Well, the first thing we ever produced was our showcase for that program. And then we would do, we started a theater company. And then we would have, we would do these plays and we would have the space for a long time and on dark days. And we were like, well, let's raise extra money. And we would throw these comedy shows because she was starting to do well in stand-up. She was like, she had just graduated from doing those bringer shows. And she was starting to get to know comics.

And then the comedy show started to blow up. And, um, Amy got hired. I think. this is what it's like working with Amy Schumer. She got hired by, I want to say, one of those beer companies, one of those shitty beer companies, Genesee Ale or one of those like two, do like the CEO's wife's backyard party.

She did the stand up there and the CEO had complained to her that all the kids were drinking like Papp's Blue Ribbon and I don't want to, whatever the company was. He's like, well, my beer's just like that and all this stuff, you know. And she said, well, you know, I have the hottest show downtown. Send us 35, 30 packs next week. And then Schumer runs into our next company meeting. Like, I have 35, 30 packs coming. We have to come up with a show. And that's how we started doing stand-up. And it was a comedy show. It was a stand-up. Chasing alcohol. It was like 20 bucks all you can drink.

Oh, love it. Then we were able to get the good comics in that she knew. And then- because of the beer? Because of the audience. The audience was young. It was cool. It was like just broke young people. And they liked the vibe. And then we were pretty smart. We took all the hot girls at as per studio and asked them to be out front. So then we'd greet all the male comics coming in. And they were like, you got to do this show, you know, to each other. Then it started to graduate. And we had this, like, huge audience.

And so we were like, we should put our actors in front of it. And that's when Amy and my friend Brandon, a couple of other people just first started writing. We would open the play with, like, we would open the show with a three to four minute play. It was really a sketch, but we refused to call it a sketch because we were artists. Yes, of course. But it was all comedy.

And it was just, that's how we just started doing everything on the fly. I love it. Yeah. What a cute OG story. And then she, I think, you know what's funny is I think when she did, I don't know if she ever told you this, but when she did the roasts, the Charlie Sheen roasts and Comedy Central wanted a pilot from her. I think basically they were hoping she was going to try to rip off your show on Comedy Central. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

And she was like, I'm not doing that. I just want to do what we're doing. So she pitched a sketch show to them. Oh. Which I think they were really bummed about because they told her the show they wanted. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they said, we'll give you a pilot, and then the pilot did well. Inside Avis Schumer, right?

Yeah. Yeah. And you're also friends with Rosebud and Yamanika. Oh, yeah. Yamanika is basically my current project. Really? Yes. She is on the road with me a lot.

We're going away this weekend. We have three shows this weekend on the East Coast, and she is the hottest mess around, as I'm sure you will know. I know. Those are two other single comedians now. Yeah. But Yamanika, what's your? I just found out about Rosebud.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I was supposed to see her the other night, but then she had dental work. And she's like, I'm in a lot of pain. And I was like, okay, well, I wanted to go home anyway. So that's perfect. But Yamanika I see all the time. So like Yamanika is like a, we're actually producing her podcast. She's going to have a podcast on this platform.

That's great. Yeah, because she needs an outlet so she can stop doing live Instagrams 24 times a day. Is she still boxing? She's doing something physical. I'm not sure if it's boxing. She's always trying to beseech me to, work out with her, but I don't have no interest. I know how to work out. You know, I'm not looking to get into boxing or throwing my back out. But being on the road with her is especially

challenging because she'll like, she doesn't understand where she is or I guess how to book a hotel room. The last time we were together, she booked two hotel rooms in the same city, but not in the city we were in. So we had three nights, different cities, and every night was off. So she slept in my bed two nights in a row. One night I'm fine with, you know what I mean? In case of an emergency, pretty much anyone can sleep with me for a night. Two nights is like where things start to get tricky. And tomorrow, because we're... One more night, you're in a relationship.

Well, right. And also with her, it's like, I don't... Like, she's crazy. She sucks her thumb, you know? Like, I woke up and just, look, I saw a giant baby in my bed. And I was like, oh, my God. Am I a mother? I hope not.

But this weekend, she's meeting me. You know, because of the TSA shit, it's all like hot best, right? So we've got to really, like, be prepared on. And so she's meeting me at my hotel tomorrow. We're taking a very early flight to get to Portland, Maine. And I was like, I always have to lie to her and say it's an hour, you know, earlier than it is. Makes sense. Yeah, I feel like that was, you probably were not like that when you were opening for somebody, right?

Never. No. No. That's most people, though, right? I guess so. I think it's a certain personality type. I mean, what do you think you're, like, there's type A personality, right? But then there's not, like, there's not a type B.

It's just everything else. Well, Amy used to, like, kill two birds of one son. Like, she would, like, come on the road and help me out with the venues, and I would be in charge of everybody. And then during the day, we would work on a script, you know. Oh, wow. That's productive. I was, like, you know, for a long time, my traveling partner was Mark Norman, because she was open. He was opening for Amy.

So it just seems like most comics are probably not type A. I guess what I need is, like, I need an outline of what the other. types of personalities are. Yeah. It's like type A and then what? It's like when they say third world country and first world country. There's no second world country. That's not a thing. And there's no fourth world. It's third world or first world. Like I don't. Yeah, but there's there's, there's, there's type A, which I don't think I am. I think I'm more go with the flow, but you have to recognize the flow. But then there's like the whole Mr. Magoo. I can tell you're not type A already. Yeah. Well, right. Yeah. But the whole Mr. Magoo like, you know, where you

You just have to save people from stepping off a cliff every three seconds. Yeah, yeah. That's a type. You know, that is a big type. And they just find a way to circulate people around them that take care of them. Uh-huh. Right. That's right.

That is a type. So I feel like there's like a lot of, Catherine, this is something, a subject matter we should delve into further. Because I feel like there are a lot of other types of personalities that haven't been clearly defined. Yeah. I feel like the internet is starting to say that this, like the Mr. Magoo type is type B. It's like your messy friend, your type B friend on vacation. is the one who like, you know, books the flight to the wrong place and you have to save them at the last minute.

Like, that's kind of what the internet is saying is type B right now. Yeah, but I agree with you. I'm not type A, but I'm not that. Right. I don't think I'm type A either. Catherine, am I type A? I don't think you're type A, but you do like things a certain way, but I wouldn't say you're like anal retentive type A.

I'm fastidious. I don't think so. I like things a certain way. I also am type A when I need to be type A. And then I go off the fucking retentive. else when I don't have to do anything. You have your shit together. Yeah. Yeah, like I'm very good about time management. I'm very good about other people's times.

And I just like, I want to get this shit done and in a time efficient way. I don't like to, like, have a writer's meeting for six hours. I like to have a writer's meeting for one and a half hours. Every writer's meeting is mostly about ordering lunch. Yeah, exactly. Well, it's like Fortune Feemster told that story when she came on the show about, like, you had your first meeting with her. There were other people in the meeting.

And then, like, halfway through, you knew it was a yes. So you just got up and left the room and she figured that meant it was a no, like that you weren't going to hire her. Right, right. Yeah. I appreciate that. Yeah. It's just so much. I appreciate it too.

I think it's great. I'm like, what? I think the most irksome thing about any personality type is just someone who has no regard for other people's time. You know what I mean? That's not unforgivable. That's kind of like what being late is. Even though many people who are late, that's not the case. They're just bad at their own time management.

And it spills over into you. your time. But I really do think the number one quality should have is to be considerate of other people. Yeah. I mean, that's, you really kind of blow yourself up otherwise. Like you're going to, somebody's going to try to take you down. What? So you're from Philly? Originally, yeah. In, in high school, my father did the worst thing possible and he moved me in high school to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Yikes. Yeah. And it was as bad as it sounds. transition. I've been in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, but I never went to high school in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

It was like my cousin Vinnie with no comedy. You know, it was like that. And it's just a lot of neon. And were you the Vinny? I don't know where I was. Yeah, I feel like it's probably more mercantomy. But it was, yeah, and I feel like slowly, like it's been a dragon chasing me. I feel like the whole country is turned into Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

It's like I hear country music in a bodega in Brooklyn. It's not good for me. It's like triggering. Is South Carolina considered country? Well, they call Myrtle Beach the Redneck Riviera. Oh, it is, the South. That's what I meant. I didn't mean country.

I don't know. Yeah, the South. The Redneck Riviera. So did you have a girlfriend in high school that you left when you went to Myrtle Beach? I mean, we was just starting to make that happen. You know what I mean? We were starting to get around a little bit. to get probably hit your stride.

Well, I was probably hit my stride. I come from all these, like, my mother, her sisters, their daughters, and they're all like, my mother's, they're wives of gangsters and like, they're people you don't mess with. And the most important thing for me was to keep it all a secret because they would just destroy you. They would just blow you up any way possible. So it was very, it was, everything was on the deal, deal for. me. So do you feel like a Philly person though? Yeah, because I'd go back, I was going back

at the time every chance I'd get. You know, that's who my family, extended family. Yeah, yeah. My brothers moved back to South Philly now. And it's cooler than Mertle Beach. Totally. Does anyone you know in your family? And we worked in like a bar, my parents own a bar. It was like a Philly known Philly bar and everybody, it was like a Philly thing. That's cool. Yeah. And so do you still have family in Myrtle Beach that you have to visit? No, never. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

I haven't been back there one time. And who's your team? Oh, it's all the Philly. Yeah, you don't cross over to Jersey or New York teams? No. Filly's or hard for fans. Basketball's in the family. I'm in the Philadelphia Big Five fan.

Villanova's a big thing. Most of the Knicks are from Villanova. And Jalen Brunson is. Is that right? Yeah, and Jalen Brunson is a huge SVU fan. And his father is too, and I watch his father play a temple at the Pylestra. Oh, yeah. So there's a bond there's a lot of people from my high school that went to Temple University.

Oh, yeah? That was like a big school to go to from New Jersey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's that part of New Jersey where it meets Philly and everyone has the same accent where they say panty hose. I'm going down to Wildwood, New Jersey. Oh, yes.

My kid is obsessed of Wildwood. I have some family down there. Okay. I was baptized in Wildwood, New Jersey. Oh. Because my parents still wouldn't give. I was born in July, baptized there in August because they would not give up one summer. in Wildwood, New Jersey.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. People are really, really into the Jersey Shore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's so many different parts of the Jersey Shore. And there are actually really nice parts of the Jersey Shore. I mean, I love it. I mean, some of them are not nice. But there's like Belmar, there's some other places.

I didn't ever went to the Jersey Shore because I grew up on the vineyard in the summertime, Martha's Vineyard. My parents had a summer house there. So I would go there. And then once I was like 17, 18, all my friends were going down on the Jersey Shore. I'm like, I want to go to the Jersey Shore. And my parents are like, no, you don't. You have no idea how lucky you are to be, have a house of Martha's Jr.

And I was like, who gives a shit about Martha's Jr? And I wanted to get late, you know? I was like, I want to go meet fucking guys. I wonder if that would have been like an episode of The Walking Dead for you or something like that. Yeah, totally. Totally. So how did you start on SVU?

Like, what was your first experience on that show? I was doing, well, I'd been a guest star a couple of times on the show. And the last time I was a guest star, Mariska directed the episode. And I was like, it was like this big, I had a spin out. thought a guy raped my wife. I held him hostage in a bar. It was like a big fan. That guest stars as different characters each time, obviously, which is funny that they bring back the same actor to play different roles. Yeah. This was like three or four years later, and this role came up, and I think she kind of put her finger on the button for me. She's awesome.

She's the best. She's the best. I mean, she's unbelievable. The amount, I just can't believe. How many seasons, Catherine, are doing. I think it was 26, I think. 27. 27? It's a lot. God. I'm about to shoot the last episode of 27. That's a great gig to have. It's a great gig, yeah. I'm working with iced tea this week, and that's, like, in of itself. A day to hang with him is, like, the greatest thing anyone can do. Yeah, tell me about iced tea.

I don't know that I've... I also have to interject and ask, does Coco ever visit him on set? Yes. Are they still married those two? Yes. Wow. She's the best. Wow.

What a successful Hollywood couple. Who knew? From their reality show to SPU. I think she still does this. I think she types his lines into the notes on his iPhone form every day. They're like the best. Who knew that one of the most successful Hollywood couples would be named Coco and Ice Tea? Tell us what it's like working with Ice Tea.

He's, you know, it's like every like... That must be fun. The stories are gold because he's lived like nine lives just in this business along, you know? Just on the show alone. Yeah, just on the show alone. And yeah, it's just, it's just. I've never seen him in a bad mood. Really?

Yeah, he's just a peace with the world. And he's just giving you hustling lessons all the time, you know? Wow. So I got, it was fortunate, people liked our kind of rapport. And so we were together a lot. And he just kind of schooled me on how to operate there. And what have you learned from him? Well, you know, the first thing you do when you look at a script is like, see how many days off.

How many are outside in the winter? and usually the acting advice or when you discuss a scene in the moment, it's really the single most important question is, do you want to go home? I appreciate people who get to work and are only interested in getting out of work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, I like that. But I had this weird thing we were doing Life and Beth.

And like I was directing like Yamanika and Russ Budd. Which is a great, great fucking show, by the way, on Hulu, everybody. And so I was playing like a kind of crazy character on that. And, you know, I'd have these mornings with someone like Coloscolo would be doing a scene. And then I'd have to van and at night be with iced tea and prostitutes. Like that was like be a full day. That's a full day. That is a full day in more than one way.

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Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends, me and hilarious guests from Jim Gap. African, to Bob Odenkirk, to David Letterman, help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and headwriter, Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. There's the worst singer in the group. The worst? Yeah.

Me. Is there anything to the idea that because you're from Harvard, you only got in because your parents made a huge donation. The group. The yard birds, right? That's the name. The Harvard yard. But they're open to change.

suggestion. We're open. Since you guys are middle-aged, one erection. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Humor me. I need some jokes to make me seem funny. Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind. Highlights are trending, opinions are flying, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's

sports slice comes in. I'm Timbo. Every episode, we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the plays, the controversies, and the stories behind the headlines. We go straight to the source, the athlete themselves, their locker room stories, their reactions, the stuff nobody gets to hear. The laughs, the drama, the triumphs, the moments that never make the highlight real. From viral moments to historic games, from buzzer beaters to controversial calls, we break it down, give you context and ask the questions everybody wants answered. Sports slice brings you closer to the action, with stories told by the people who live them. Listen to SportsSlice on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

And for more, follow Timbo Sliced Life 12 and the TikTok podcast network on TikTok. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and host of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships.

I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, we give advice to people. Yeah. Do we have any straight callers today? That would be nice. Two straight women.

This would be my first time giving advice without any alcohol. Yeah, it's perfect. Yeah, exactly. We're totally unqualified. We can probably find some tequila for you. I'm sure we do that. Speaking of drinks, our one drink question today is, this is about a straight man, but not from a straight man. Oh, okay.

So Nikki says, Dear Chelsea, I guess. My boyfriend of nine months and I are both 40, and I'm convinced he doesn't brush his teeth. He has fine teeth. They're straight, not white, but not yellow. Sometimes, not always, stinky breath. Of the times I've stayed over in all of the nine months, he's brushed his teeth maybe two times that I've seen. I've been in his bathroom enough to know he hasn't changed his brush once in the time we've been dating and it's frayed and gross. His toothpaste is dried out with no cap on it.

I couldn't get any toothpaste out of the tube when I try it. to use it. How do you kindly help someone with this? I truly don't want to lose him over something so petty. He's the kindest, gentlest, nicest man I've ever met, and I do love him. I'm having trouble not being so icked out. Help, Nikki. It's, first of all, it's, this is disgusting. It's not acceptable behavior at all. And you're having trouble, like, you should have been having trouble with this from the rip. Like, right, as cowboy would say, right off the rip. This is nine months in. This is unbelievable. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. that you've been able to control yourself for this long.

I have a serious situation about oral hygiene. I brush my teeth. I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and brush my teeth. If I don't like the taste in my mouth, I have a tongue scraper, toothbrush, and dental floss. I floss probably three times a day. I know everybody doesn't do that.

Did you do that water pick thing? No, I don't have that, but I have a tongue scraper because my dentist told me about it. I was like, I want all the tools that are available to me having a clean, fresh breath and a clean mouth because that is very important. He needs an education in dental hygiene. You have to get him crest white strips, first of all, and you have to literally sit down with him.

I don't know if there's a soft way to say this, and I really, frankly, don't give a shit because he's already crossed, like, the Rubicon in my eyes. You have to sit down with him and say, these are the things that are necessary. I really care about you, and your hygiene is an ick. Like, you have to be brushing your teeth three times a day in the morning when you get home from work and before you go to bed. Those are the new rules. And there's no easement into this. Yeah, this is like a sledgehammer situation. Like this is not.

Right, exactly. This is not. I can think of so many deeper things that you would think on paper that you could soft pedal around. And it's really quite amazing that someone could go through nine months without saying anything. I mean, something might be wrong with you also for you to be tolerant of this kind of behavior. Let's go brush our teeth right now before you go to bed.

Like, let's go brush our teeth together. And I've also been through this with God. Like, I've had guys in bed who want to wake up and fool around, and I'm like, no, no, you, I get up and I brush my teeth. If that's not a big enough cue for them, I tell them, do not come near me in the morning until you have brushed your teeth. It's just the way it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't have time for that. Like, you know, I'm a hot piece of property in my mind.

My wife's the same way. She's very, yeah. And flossing is very important, too. It's also important for, like, long-term oral hygiene, like medically speaking. So all of these things don't feel guilty about telling a man. He's just like uneducated and he just needs to be told. Well, I mean, if this is what you've discovered in nine months, you may be missing a lot. Yeah, like, what else is he not doing?

I knew a guy once, not when I date it, that said the only time my hands get washed is in the shower. Like, what else is he not doing that you're just not picking up on? Oh. On my way here, I took the subway and I had lunch. I hope you brushed your teeth after that. I used hand sanitizer, everything. But the second I went down the staircase, I put my hand on the railing, and my wife just screamed, railing!

So I can't imagine getting away with this for nine months. No. No, no. I can't imagine tolerating it for nine months. Women, you need to speak up early and quick. Yes. Okay. Those are the rules.

Early and quick, because I think men are pretty trainable, especially when they're into you. You know what they are? Yeah. And it's just even to make their life more peaceful. Yeah. Yeah. So you can do it in a nice, caring way and be gentle about it.

Obviously, you care about this person. But you need to address it immediately. And you need to make it a three-pronged effort. The tongue scraper, the toothbrush, brushing your teeth. Actually, you know what? If he's not even brushing his teeth, just start with the brushing the teeth. Let's get up to like twice a day. Twice a day.

Twice a day. But if you give him three times a day, then maybe he can start with once or twice a day. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, start it high. Make the expectations high so that he can meet you somewhere in the middle. And then also talk about flaws. Make it so overwhelming that he has to cooperate in some way immediately. All right.

Well, our next question comes from Simone, and she's calling in. Is this my sister, Simone? It is. It is. You guessed correctly. So she says, I quit my stable teacher job to become a tarot reader, but my husband isn't on board. So Simone says, dear Chelsea, I recently quit my job because I couldn't take the super toxic environment. and, well, my passions lie elsewhere. I'm a mama of two, two years and six, and I'm a

Tara reader and astrologer. For the past eight years, I've been trying to build a successful business, and sometimes I feel like my husband is holding me back. He's always been really supportive about my business, but he's the kind who likes to know how much money we're going to have each month, and even though he always says, I totally support you, he is always encouraging me to get a backup job. I know he means well, and I wouldn't want my kids to go without anything they need, but I feel like I haven't ever been able to become successful because he just doesn't really think I can make enough money from my business. Of course, it's not only his fault. I have my own insecurities that hold me back. What should I say or do to make it clear I hate corporate jobs and don't want to go back to one and that my

tarot business is my main priority, Simone. Hi, Simone. Hi. Hey. Hi. This is our special guest. Kevin Kane is here with us today. Hi. Hi, Kevin. Okay, so first of all, you said something in that, like the seconds of last sentence, which was what's holding you back is your husband's disbelief in you or not, you know, not believing in you. That's a crock of shit. Like, that's not what's holding you back. And you can't let your husband's non-belief in what you're doing hold you back. That's ridiculous. If this is important to you, do you make any money from doing this? Yeah. I make a couple hundred each month. Okay. That doesn't sound like enough. Is it? No, it's not enough.

Okay, how much would you need to make a month for this to be successful? Probably a couple thousand. Okay, and do you think that you can build your business up to making a couple thousand? Because listen, I'm into all that kind of shit. Are you into tarot cards or something like that? Most straight men are not into that. No. Okay, so I understand why your husband.

My wife does tarot. Oh. Does she read them? Yeah. Oh, she does. She's a tarot card reader like this girl. Okay, great. Great work, Catherine.

Great work. And does your wife do it professionally or just... No, she's an accurate. actress, but she does it for friends and family. That's cool. So I don't know how you, like what building a business like that looks like. Do you feel like, I feel like, first of all, you're lacking belief in yourself. Like if you're going to do this and go full throttle, I think you need to give yourself like a timeframe in order to meet your financial goals and say like, okay, I'm going to give myself six

months. And if I'm not making two or three thousand, like you tell your husband to shut up about his feedback. You're not interested. You're going to take six months if you can afford to do that and see if you can make a business out of this where you do make a couple of thousand dollars a month and where you're making a real contribution. Doesn't that kind of sound reasonable? Yeah. You know, we were talking about William Esper and he used to do an exercise with us. Okay. And he would make you visualize doing something else other than acting for a living. And he would ask, like, to be very specific, how much can you make and what would you buy with that money and where would you live? and what would you do and all that stuff.

And anyone who had a very clear answer, he would invite to the door and says, this business is going to make you quit. You're going to quit anyway. So if you already see yourself not doing this, that's what life's going to bring to you. So I would just say to yourself, like, like, do you want it that about?

Is this your passion? This is, if it's something you can't quit, then it's really not something, then we're not even talking about that. So it's just really just about, focusing on I'll do anything to make this happen, you know? So it seems like you're making what a couple hundred bucks a month? You're not doing taro all the time right now, right? Well, I am putting in full-time hours into my business. The issue comes in that, like I have a

hard time asking people for money. Yeah. But I have so many people like clients and I do a ton of ratings for free. And I think that's for my issue. Isn't I think you know. Yeah, I think. I think. That's where your issue is too. You can't do it for free if you want to make a living. You need to pick up the book. You are a badass at making money. And it's going to outline for you how you have those conversations with people, especially people you've not been charging, that you need to start charging.

Because when you're doing something like taro or, let's say, massage or Reiki or something like that, there is an exchange of energy there. And in order to be giving out, you need to be getting something back. And if you want to make this your business, then you have to treat it like a business. And that's a good way to get your husband to take it seriously as well. Yeah, well said, Catherine. I think if you're, if you're, if you know that this is you, this is who you are, it's almost like that exercise I was talking about. He was just really trying to identify the psychos and that will never do anything else.

You know, then that's not really a question. So you can kind of give yourself a break. Yeah. And let yourself figure it out. And if you don't have it figured out today, it doesn't mean you're never going to figure it out. Get on TikTok. because I see people coming through my feed all the time that are doing tarot, that are doing all kinds of different stuff like that.

They're doing lives. They're getting new clients from that. So I think that's like a good place to be spending some time and be consistent. Like every single day post a little bit of something. There's a couple of issues. You seem like what you said is you're having trouble charging people. A, you have to send out like a wide email to all of the people that you've serviced and say, hey, I just wanted to let everyone know I'm starting this.

I'm starting to do tarot as a big. business. I've quit my job. You know, whoever knows already, it doesn't matter. You're just making an official business email. Consider this to your first order of operations, okay? You're sending out a mass email saying, I've enjoyed my time with all of you so much, you know, you can blind copy everybody, so not everybody is on the email, obviously, and say, but due to popular demand, this is really taking off, and I have to start charging. So I'm going to give all of my existing clients a special rate that they all have access to. So they feel like, oh, okay, I might have to start paying, but at least I'm getting a discounted rate from your new clients and your new clientele. And just

put that all in writing. And the people who don't want to come back because they have to pay, great, that's fine. You don't have time for that shit anyway. Right. But you have to get like some balls for this. If you want to be a businesswoman, you need to act like a businesswoman. You need to buy the book that Catherine mentioned. And once your husband sees that this is operating like a business, guess what? He's going to be fucking supportive when you're earning money. Yeah. You're so right. Are you ready to do this? I'm going to do it. Yes.

Formulate that email and send us a copy. I want to make sure I get a copy of that. Yeah. Okay. And send me your rates. I'll send out some referrals. Thank you. Perfect. Perfect. Okay. Thank you. Oh my gosh. You guys are so kind. Thank you. Okay. Bye, Simone. Good luck with your business. And act like a business woman. Thank you. Okay. So, Claire, says, dear Chelsea, my husband and I are child-free by choice and have been together for over 10 years. We have several nieces and nephews on both sides. One of these nephews from my sister-in-law is

turning 18 next month. He is proclaimed to not want to do anything special to celebrate, but his helicopter mom has planned something regardless. My husband and I are, of course, being roped into these plans. The first part consists of an escape room, ugh, shoot me, on a weekend, and will cost $100 each for my husband and I to join. The second part consists of a birth, dinner out to a restaurant that I don't particularly care for. The problem is it's on a completely separate day than the escape room and during the week. My sister-in-law insists on doing this dinner out on a fucking Monday because that's the day of his actual birthday. So now I'm paying $200 plus, and we haven't even factored in his gift yet, to celebrate a teenager who could give two shits

about all this celebrating on his behalf. My husband thinks I'm crazy and that I hate his family, but I think this is ridiculous. The last thing I want to do after working all day is fight traffic to a shitty restaurant when my own food and my three fur babies are at home waiting for me. Furthermore, I love my niece and nephews, but don't want to spend that much money on a child that isn't mine for a fucking birthday. One of my dogs, sure, but a kid, no thanks. Why are all these kids so fucking spoiled nowadays? Am I being selfish and a horrible aunt who should shut up and just go along with it? Or should I tell my husband I'm skipping the dinner and to hell with it? Claire. Hi, hi, Claire. Hi. Nice to meet you. Thanks for having me. I don't think you're being selfish. I think you need to

create some boundaries. It sounds fucking stupid. You should pick one thing. Just to be like a good sport, I had this conversation with one of my friends yesterday. He's like, I just told my partner, I'm not coming to any more family events because his partner's mom treated him like garbage and his whole family treated him like garbage. So he had more of an excuse, but he did create a boundary and it's not an issue anymore. It's become a non-issue. But when you are in a partnership, you're married. It's a little bit different. These two would just live together. They're not married. I would say that you should probably go to one of the events, whichever one you hate the least. I, for me, an escape room sounds like an absolute fucking nightmare.

So I would choose the dinner, even though it's on a Monday, because that is his birthday, so then you were there for his birthday celebration. And that's kind of all you, and you can be very honest. I'm not going to an escape room because I'm an adult. I'm not interested in this at all. Right, right. And I'm only available to celebrate his birthday on his birthday. So I'll be at the dinner happily.

That's it. Yeah. That's it. That's all you have to say. And you tell that to your husband. I'm not doing that. I'm sorry. You can go.

But there's no requirement that I have to go to an escape room for my 18-year-old nephew's birthday who's not even interested in having a birthday. Leave the money out of it. Don't even mention that part. Just make it about your priorities. It's also, I just think it's like weird

to have the escape room be a family thing. That's like the thing you send him and his friends to do. You know? Like, that's a teenager thing. Totally. And for a further context, we've gone and done this before together too.

This isn't our first family escape room before. So I was kind of surprised to hear that on the docket. And how did that go? How did the other ones go? Oh, this was like several years ago. And it was fine. Like, you know, I think that was the first time I'd ever done it. So I was like, sure, I'm down for it. Why not? And it was fine. It wasn't anything that I want to repeat. But like for the one time, like, that was totally fine. Is he going to college? He wants to go into some kind of trade probably. Yeah? So yeah. Yeah. Well, I think just tell yourself just in your mind this is a farewell dinner because he's going to be done with all you people after this he's not he's not coming home sure yeah that's that's great one thing you could

also do is like if you really aren't down to go to either one of these you could be like you know what we want to do our own thing to celebrate him and like take him out to dinner somewhere where you actually like or go do something fun and like that's his gift like it's an activity that you guys would like to do together that could be an alternate plan or something even that he is interested in doing that also sounds annoying But also, the other thing is, listen, the fact that you had already an experience in this escape room is perfect. You've done that. You don't like it.

You don't want to be in that situation. You don't have to go. Like, the dinner is fine. Just do that. And this is your farewell thing. This is 18th birthday. Be a good team player. But that's the extent of it.

And be very firm about that with your husband and with your sister-in-law. For sure. Because, yeah, both is not going to happen. Got it? Got it. Yes. Thank you. How many 18-year-olds are going on this? To escape rooms? I don't know. I feel like escape rooms are making a comeback because I've heard that a couple times now. Like it's a very 17-18-year-old. How old is your kid?

Eight. Eight. Okay. So yours is a little young for that, I think, but like adults, weird adults, I don't like when adults like shit like this. You know what I mean? I don't like that kind of stuff. There's also like, like paintballing is the thing that comes before in escape room. Right. That age racket is paintballing. Like 14 to 16 is. or 13 to 16 is paintballing. Sometimes even younger. I also are a very annoying activity.

Yeah. I'm not interested. And then there's the adult version of all of these things, which is pickleball. That's so infuriating. And Mahjong. Now as Mahjong is the new thing.

Oh, really? Yeah. Mahjong is the new pickleball. Okay. Everyone's talking about mahjong. I've had like three women in my life that are in their 30s asked me to come to play mahjong.

And I've had to block them, all three of them, from contacting me again. I mean, The idea that people don't know how I feel about those things when I'm so out there about my opinions and feelings makes me feel like you're not listening. No, or they're just trying to insult you. Rile me up. Possibly.

Or insult me. I'm Cynthia Lois. And I'm Josie Dye. And we're done pretending we have it all figured out. Each week we laugh, cry, and talk our way through life's messiest moments. Things you think about but would never say out loud. The questions you are always too shy to ask. relationships, regrets, awkward moments, and the stuff no one warns you about.

It's honest, it's funny, and sometimes it gets a little uncomfortable. But that's kind of the point. This is Cynthia and Josie's Unmentionables. Listen on the free IHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier.

This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an acapella band with their between songs banter. There's the worst singer in the group. The worst? Yeah. Me.

Is there anything to the idea that because you're from Harvard, you only got in because your parents made a huge donation. The group. The yard birds, right? That's the name. The Harvard yard, but they're open to change. Do you have a name suggestion? We're open.

Since you guys are middle. A one erection. Listen to humor me with Robert Smygel and Friends on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Humor me. I need some jokes to make me seem funny. Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind. Highlights are trending, opinions are flying, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened.

That's where sports slice comes in. I'm Timbo. Every episode, we're cutting through the noise. Breaking down the plays, the controversies, and the stories behind the headlines. We go straight to the source, the athlete themselves. Their locker room stories, their reactions, the stuff nobody gets to hear. The laughs, the drama, the triumphs, the moments that never make the highlight real. From viral moments to historic games, from buzzer beaters to controversial calls, we break it down, give you context and ask the questions everybody wants answered. Sports slice brings you closer to the action with stories told by the people who live them.

Listen to Sports Slice on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more, follow Timbo Slicelife 12 and the TikTok podcast network on TikTok. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become. life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate

these periods of turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us Lyslikes. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I asked email here comes from Jane, and she says to your Chelsea. In September, my friends had a birthday party, and I met my now current boyfriend. It had been two years since I'd had any romantic interest in anyone, and I left the party feeling surprised that I had a crush. Oh, it's always surprising. My friend who hosted the party knew I was into him from the jump and confirmed he

He had also asked about me. It felt like kismet. However, I was not going to chase any man, so I waited and he finally reached out via Instagram. We're dating now and he's everything I'm looking for when it comes to intelligence, career, the way he respects women, asks for consent, even our first kiss. I'd like to kiss you if that's okay. It was so sweet. Chelsea, how do you feel about that?

Yeah, I like that. You do? Yeah, what's wrong with that? I feel like you've said before like, ick, don't ask me. Just do it. No, no, no, no, no. I think it's important. I think especially in the time we're living in.

I'm just going to tap out because I work on this view. I can't make any consensuals. I think it's cute to say, can I kiss you? Oh, okay. Great. Great. So she continues and says, So I found out recently he had hit up my other good friend from the party before any contact with me. At the time, I shrugged it off and was excited to hear from him when he did finally reach out. I assumed his messaging with this other friend was neutral and he's just a kind of.

guy. Well, ask you me. On Valentine's Day, my dumbass decided to bring it up for clarification. He said he was interested in her and had DM'd her first, but she didn't respond. There are a good match on paper, the same age, I'm seven years older, and they have similar interests. Now I can't stop thinking about him checking out both our social medias after meeting us and going for her first. I've been divorced. I'm a cozy homebody, but still love socializing, and I was totally fine being a celibate pet owner for the rest of my life. But it just feels, it's I know nobody did anything wrong. Everyone was single and transparent, but I don't know if I can handle knowing he tried for my younger, cooler friend first. Even though it isn't that sloppy,

am I okay being second, Jane? What do you think about that, Kevin? I would have to know, like, what's the connection like now? How much does it matter? I also don't think missed opportunities are worth being, like, upset over, like, the fact that he reached out to that girl, nothing happened there. So it doesn't matter. Like, what happened was that, you guys connected and you're dating to focus on that. Like, I just don't think it's worthwhile to constantly, or to be looking in the rearview mirror about what ifs. Yeah.

It didn't happen. So he was interested. He's now with you. If you want to reassure that you have a commitment with him or whatever, that he's not actively pursuing other people or this woman. Or if she were interested in DM and back, would he be interested in seeing her? Like, if that's all in the past, then you're fine. Like, but I also just think.

I think it's really like a waste of all of our time to constantly be saying, well, you know, he didn't like me more first. Who gives a shit? You're together now and you like each other. She's just going to relitigate the origin. And also women get, women can become obsessed with this kind of stuff. Yeah. And I feel like it's a very bad use of our time. Like if somebody's not with, like you can't control the outcome of things. And if somebody's not with you, like I dated a guy who we met at this thing and he, ended up hooking up with one of the girls where we met after he and I had met, but it wasn't serious. And then we started seeing each other and it became more serious. I didn't care. Right. I was just like, yeah, whatever.

Like, you're a little different about that stuff, though, Chelsea. But I think that's the right attitude because what are you going to do? You're not going to control somebody anyway. So as long as you get a good temperature on whether this person is honest and like forthcoming and you can say, okay, we're in something now, right? We're solid. Right. Are you looking?

Are you actively seeking other people? Like, just let me know. No judgment. I'll just make my decision based on the truth of the situation. I mean, men sometimes have a hard time being truthful, but he already was truthful. He reached out to her when she asked him. But I feel like men could just be just straight up dumb in opening situations. This is right.

So maybe some obvious flare went off in one direction. You know, the attention was there and was letting something else develop. I think guys definitely don't get it right. off the bat. They have to process a lot longer. Yeah, I think that's a great point, Kevin, actually. Men are fucking stupid. You know what I mean? And you have to remember this all the time, because no matter how great someone is in the beginning, we always find, and this goes for men and women, you do find out that everybody's kind of like a human being. And men in particular, straight men in particular, don't really know their way around situations like this. And they kind

of act impulsively sometimes just the way women can do, but men for some reason, it just seems a little bit less sensitive. It can come across as like insensitive. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so you kind of have to give them a little bit of latitude, not too much latitude. Don't get me wrong. Like, you have to call people out on their ship. But like, he was honest about DMing her and that he didn't hear back from her. That's, there you go. That's somebody telling you the truth. So that's what I would say to that. All right. Well, that's what we've got for today. Okay. Well, Kevin, this has been great. I'm very happy to meet you. You seem like a really fun, normal, normal, normal, normal. man. I appreciate

you being on here. Do you want to promote anything besides SVU? Yeah, we're rounding into the end of the season. Oh, my God. You can watch tonight on NBC, or you can watch tomorrow on Peacock. And you can also see Kevin in all of his other work. He was on Inside Amy Schumer, Blue Bloods, the Irishman,

and Snatched and Law & Order. So there you go. Just go off and have a Kevin Kane. And Life and Beth. Let's see me with Rosebott and Yamanica. Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. Life and Beth. on Hulu, everybody. Thank you, Kevin. Yeah, thank you. If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail.com.

Dear Chelsea is a production of IHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flashcadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea Live at Chelseahandler.com.

Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter.

Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you. get your podcasts. Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where SportsSlice comes in. I'm Timbo, and every episode,

we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the biggest moments in sports and giving you the real story behind the headlines. And we're going straight to the source, the athletes themselves. Their locker room stories, their reactions in the moment, and the stuff nobody gets to hear. Listen to Sports Slice on the iHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. And for more, follow Timbo Slical Life 12 in the TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. Hey, everyone, it's Ryder Strong and Wilfredel from PodMeets World. And now the Pod Meets Twirled podcast. We're two men who were completely clueless to reality TV, and we're gearing up for the season finale of Survivor.

I know we annoyed a lot of our listeners by our severe lack of survivor knowledge. That is the point of the show. I'm just going to remind you. Again, we are experts. Listen to Podmeets Twirled on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. There are times when the mind becomes a difficult place to live. This is David Eagleman with the Inner Cosmos podcast, and for Mental Health Awareness Month,

we'll talk with singer-songwriter Jewel about anxiety. I started living in my car, and then my car got stolen. I was having panic attacks. I was agoraphobic. This is a month of deeply personal and honest conversations. about what happens when the brain goes off course. Listen to Inner Cosmos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.

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