Dear Chelsea - Manifesting a Good Time with Jamie Greenberg

Episode Date: August 25, 2022

Celebrity makeup artist Jamie Greenberg joins Chelsea in-studio this week to talk about being a fiercely competitive sports mom, going on tour with Chelsea, and why choosing positivity can get you everywhere.  Then: A divorcée gets a dating-app surprise when much-younger men begin pursuing her. A wife wonders how to keep her husband from fully becoming a redneck. And a grieving woman fears she’ll never become a mother after a miscarriage.     * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, everybody. While I'm taking the month of September off of doing stand-up, I return on October 1st to complete my Vaccinated and Horny Tour. October, November, and December, I have new dates up. I kick it off in Saratoga, November, and December. I have new dates up. I kick it off in Saratoga, California,

and I'm coming to all parts of California, Long Beach, Bakersfield. I'm coming to Niagara Falls, Tucson, Arizona, Colorado, Minneapolis, San Diego, Reading, Pennsylvania, and Baltimore, Maryland, just to name a few. There's also some Floridian dates in there since this will be my last year

that I'm able to go inside the state of Florida. So check out chelseahandler.com for more stand-up dates for my Vaccinated and Horny Tour. These are my last dates. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea. Hi, how's it going? Oh, it's going so well. I'm so excited for our guest today. I know. I'm excited for her, too. She's a real piece of work. I just want you to know that I saw, I went whale watching yesterday, which was, I did, but I think next time it has to be a private affair. You know, I don't know why we get on these boats and then you're stuck on these boats for like four hours with a bunch of other people. We did see an orca and we saw a humpback and that was really, really cool. Yeah.

But yeah, they're too long. Everybody's, I find all activities to be one hour too long. Like everything needs to be condensed. You know, like I don't want to be out on a boat for three and a half hours. I want to be out on the boat for two and a half hours. Yeah, that feels about right. My only question is like, you got to have time enough to find those whales, I guess, right? Well, they're all there.

They're all there because in this season, I mean, they guarantee a whale sighting. Oh, they do? Yeah, they did. And we saw one like within 20 minutes. We saw a huge humpback that was playing with a log. It was so cute. I mean, if I were in the water and I saw a humpback swimming towards me, I think I would pass out from the sheer, I mean, they are so massive.

The orcas are not as big as I thought they were, but not that I'm in the water with them, but you know, those humpbacks are just, and the gray whales are so big. Oh, they're so beautiful. Because that's the only thing we're used to seeing, right? Is those orcas that are at, you know, SeaWorld and those types of places. Oh God, those poor things. When you see them out in the free ocean, swimming wherever the fuck they feel like it, and then you see them stuck. I mean, no wonder orcas are killing people inside zoos or whatever they're called, marine parks. Right. But apparently orcas are like horrible assholes. I, you know, I don't smoke a lot of pot, but when I do, I like to put on what i call ocean show which is you know nature ocean

documentaries and i saw one and it was like these orcas just like bombarded a nice other whale and her baby and killed the baby drowned it baby beluga they drowned baby beluga and then they just left it like it wasn't even for eating it It was for sport. Yeah, they're at the top of the food chain. Orca whales. They're mean, apparently. Yeah, they're mean. I mean, that's because they're at the top of the food chain. They didn't get there by accident. But yeah, that's really horrifying to kill your little baby because whales have emotions.

You know, they're like highly emotional. So if they lose like a family member. Remember there was that whale. It was like kind of recently, but I have no sense of time. So it could have been six years ago or six months. But that was, she lost her baby. Her baby died. She had gestated it for like 18 months and then the baby was born and she swam around with it for months because she was mourning the loss of it. Right. Exactly. This is what orcas are doing. She should have called into the podcast. We are going to take a quick break so you can hear an ad and then we'll be right back. I'm Jason Alexander and I'm Peter

Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer.

And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us tonight. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. God bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just

stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign Jason bobblehead. It's called really no really and you can find it on the I heart radio app on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's move on to our guest. Her name is Jamie

Greenberg. She's my personal makeup artist. She travels with me a lot around the country, sometimes on tour, sometimes for other stuff. We're very good friends. And she likes to show me her ass, her boobs. Actually, I've never seen her Pikachu, and I would like to say thank you for that. Hello, Jamie. Jamie's my makeup artist. Hi. And she is a mother of three children, and she has a husband.

His name is Josh. Hi, Josh. He just celebrated his 65th birthday. No, he didn't. How old was he? 62. Yeah, 66. Anyway, Jamie has been an absentee mother for the last six months. I have no friends who are parents who are with their children less than Jamie Greenberg. But when she is with them, she is on the sidelines of a softball game, fucking screaming and yelling like a lunatic because she's one of those parents. I am a softball mom and I will cut a bitch or pop a tire.

And her son, tell the quick story about your son when he didn't want to play with the extra basketball, the like the game when he they were asked him to play with the better team. Oh, her son's seven. okay? He's seven and he started basketball and he was pretty good. He's showing promise. My husband was an athlete. I was an athlete. He starts dribbling and one of the coaches says, can he stay and play with us with the older kids? Meanwhile, he's seven and the older kids were eight. You don't have to suck on the microphone, okay? Just keep your head back. I haven't seen my husband in a while either. Okay. Okay. Okay, Janet. Because that's what you're doing when you go home. I'm sure. Exactly. Born again. Okay. So the coach comes over and I'm like, oh, yeah, he'll play. I just automatically, you know, offer him up and he starts crying and he's like, I don't I don't want to play. I'm scared. Like he was nervous that the older kids were going to play with him and he just didn't want to do it. And I was like, you will get over and you will go and this is what you're going to do because you're going to get a scholarship and I'm not paying for your college

education. So you better get in there, you little seven year old. She's telling me the story. And then she goes and then Josh stormed out. Right. And threw the uniform in the garbage. Oh, that story. That was another day. Oh, that was the same day we went and played rec. So this is a travel team for those of you out there who know sports. Travel's very serious. And then rec, anyone with a pulse can play, right? You just have to be in the age group. So we signed him up for that when we get there. And there's no rules. Like you can run with the ball.

You can triple dribble. It was like a whole new sport genre. It wasn't basketball. So I'm like yelling at the ref like, hey, you're going to call a double dribble guy? And he's like, nope, just keeps ignoring me. I'm like, hey, that like, hey, you're going to call a double dribble guy? And he's like, nope, just keeps ignoring me. I'm like, hey, that guy, you can't do that. You can't, you know, run 10 steps with the ball. Like, you know, like this is not basketball.

I don't know what this is, but it's some bullshit in Encino, California. And they were like, no, the kids are just having fun. I'm like, they're not four. They're seven. And we're on a mission here. So Josh took the uniform and threw it in the trash can. And the coach was like, what are you doing? And then I came out, I'm like, you shouldn't throw away the wreck. You know, the wreck, they don't have any money. So I was like, get, I fished it

out and gave it to the guy, but I'm like, we're done here. And that's Jamie Greenberg, everybody. She's a celebrity makeup artist. That's how she introduces herself on her Instagram. You have to follow her on Instagram, Jamie makeup at Jamie At Jamie Makeup. At Jamie Makeup. And she has all these great products that I use. Blighlighter, which is this blush that you could use as eyeshadow. You could use it on your lips. And then she has Bloss. And I think everything in her product line should start with BL.

And she is not on board with that, right? Bless you for saying that. But I don't know if that's such a good idea. I don't know. I mean, you started it. You got to finish it. I know, because everything't know if that's such a good idea. I don't know. I mean, you started it. You got to finish it. I know because everything was like. It's like a hand job.

You're right. You know what I mean? You can't just stop and then be like, we're going to do something else. No, I think you're right. I think let's talk about the third product when it comes to fruition and you can help name it. But you can get those products at Jamie Makeup and they're all light, natural, like really nice, organic. Vegan, gluten free. Vegan, gluten-free. Vegan, gluten-free.

Nice. And just really quick, if you buy the clear one, I'm selling 500 of the clear ones, which is the gloss. It's a clear gloss, bomb gloss. The first 500, I'm giving 100% of the proceeds to Planned Parenthood. Let me be clear. Hashtag let me be clear. We're starting to get other brands to be in this campaign. I just talked to Planned Parenthood. Let me be clear. Hashtag let me be clear. We're starting to get other brands to be in this campaign.

I just talked to Planned Parenthood this morning. Right on, sister. I learned that from my activist friend, Chelsea Handler, how to get involved and stick up for what you believe in. And I'm sticking up for my vagina and my daughter's vagina and my son's vagina after that game. No, I'm just kidding. Jamie, so like I said, she's a latchkey mother.

She has been traveling with me. You came to New York with us. You came to Nashville. Then you went to Italy. I went to Italy, Mexico. Then you went to Mexico with your family. That was nice. Throw them a bone.

Take them to Mexico for a week. And then she went back on another trip on her own. These are all under the sub diffuse of doing people's makeup work, but that's not what's happening. And I think that we can all be honest about that. No, that's exactly. I mean, I went, I did the bride in Italy. Yeah. So you were there for five days and you did one day of work. Seven days and two days of work. Okay. Rehearsal dinner. Okay. And the wedding. Uh-huh. And then with you, Chelsea's

solo maintenance though, you guys. That's not work. Chelsea's the best. I don't even want my makeup done. Really, get away from me. I'm basically renting Jamie for her personality. She said to me on occasion that my makeup is subpar, but my personality is a 10. Anyone can make it in Hollywood. You just have to have a good personality. Yeah. Jamie has the best personality. So, Jamie, let's talk a little bit about your attitude in life. A little bit. Yes.

Because one of the things that I love about you so much is how positive and what a party bringer you are. And I know from personal experience that that could sometimes be a burden because people are expecting a lot. Like, I went through a lot, like a phase where I was like very resentful of people expecting like, oh, Chelsea's coming. She's going to be hilarious. And I'm like, fuck off. You don't know what kind of, what time of month that this is for me

and what I'm doing or how, you know, what shape I'm in. And so I became resentful of that at a point in my life. Do you feel pressure to pick up the situation when you walk into a room with clients or if you're working or with your family? For sure. Well, the family gets the worst part of me, I think. Of course.

Yeah. Well, I just said that. You're never there. Yeah, that's right. Everybody knows already. Yeah. Josh, if you're listening, I love you. Josh is actually calling in today. Yes. You have one caller. It's your husband again. Yes. I definitely think with maneuvering through my, you know,

business life, I realized that when I brought positive vibes, like, it changed the room. The dynamic. You could get anybody

in the room who's mad, angry, and instead of taking it personally, because in the beginning of the career, I would be like,

they don't like me, and I would go inside with it. And then I'm like, no, they're just, they having their own shit. And I'm going to come in and I'm going to like make everyone in this room have a good time. And that was like once I started doing that, like I attracted the best clients. You I attracted just better things in my life. I did. I manifested a good time. Who named some of your other clients? Kaylee Cuoco, Rashida Jones, Molly Shannon, Julie Bowen, Elizabeth Moss. I've done her. Lizzie Kaplan. I love Lizzie Kaplan. Kristen Stort. Kristen Stort. Yeah. Like everybody. It's crazy. Yeah. You yeah, you have a great client list. And that's not a skill that you just develop. Some people don't have big personalities. So you already had that person. I mean, when we were doing a show back east, I met like all of your friends from high school. Not all of them, but a lot of them from growing up, like 10 of them.

And obviously, like that dynamic was at play while you were growing up. Because a lot of people I don't think could just all of a sudden become the person in the room that makes everybody happy. You know, and I'm sure you were like that because we talk about sometimes when you were growing up, like you always had your point of view. I always had my point of view, whether I was playing soccer, whether I was dancing, whatever I did, I had fun with it. And I feel like my mom was like that. My dad was always working. So that's where I get the travel part from in my in my life. But no, sorry, dad. He won't listen. But my mom was always like just so vibrant in everything she did. And so I think it just seeped into me and everything I do,

I try to be positive. And I feel like it gets you really far. I feel like I feel like it has. Yeah, there are dividends, you know, that it pays off in dividends when you are positive and you are upbeat like the domino effect. It's like you're tipping over one domino that tips over 15 other ones. You could say that too. It's like when you withhold. I heard this analogy, I think, from a friend of mine recently. If you're upset with somebody and you don't say anything about it, you're letting a domino tip over in the wrong way and you hold it, hold it, hold it. And then all the dominoes go down and then no one said anything. And then there's a whole fucking mess to clean up. And then conversely, spreading joy and positivity is like tipping a domino in that direction, you know, and then everybody kind of falls in line because when somebody is in a great mood,

it's hard to be a fucking bitch and it's hard to be an asshole when there's positive vibes. Yeah, it's absolutely. And I mean, just think about it. Anywhere you go, there's always somebody who comes in. Like even I was just on the plane and one of the stewards on the plane was like moonwalking and having like the best time. It was like six in the morning. Everyone just couldn't help but laugh. He like spread smiles on everybody, even though everybody was like, shut up. Yeah, yeah. That's annoying, but it's also like, thank you. Exactly. So, yeah, I think it's so important because I also have like a true Gemini in the sense that like when I'm off, yeah, I just don't want to participate. Like I, my friends also know, like I won't go out or I

won't show up if I don't feel like I have enough energy to be myself and be the best version of myself. Sometimes I'll go and then I end up having fun. But I'm just if I'm not in the right mindset, it feels like you're going to get a cold or something if you go out like I'm just not 100 percent committed to being myself and having fun. So I'll stay in and watch like tons of TV. Which she introduced me to my very first episode of The Housewives of TV. Which she introduced me to my very first episode of the Housewives of Dubai. Yes. It was also your very first episode. So Jamie loves reality television

and she can't get enough of it and she tells me about it all the time and my assistant also loves the Housewives series but which one's your favorite? Atlanta? I love Atlanta. I love Beverly Hills, New York, New Jersey. I mean I love them all. I can't get enough. I really, and we're trying, I think you should be on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Who's my husband? You have to be a housewife. No,

you don't have to. You don't? No. I mean, I mean, no. Are they not married? Some of them aren't married. Oh, that's funny. It is funny. I never thought of that, but yeah. We watched, we had a layover. What city was that? Chicago? I don't know. What happened? Somehow we got on a connecting flight. First mistake, okay? We got waylaid. But we were all traveling together. There was a nice big group of us. So it was like, I didn't even care about that because we were all together. I thought, okay, fine. Well, this will be an economic trip. So we had a layover. I think four hours, they said the plane was going to be. And we were like, fuck.

But then they put us in a private room in the lounge, you know, because I'm a celebrity. And Housewives of Dubai was premiering. Yeah. And we got tons of Starbucks snacks. So we sat down. So you guys and Joe and me and we were, I was like, oh, the perfect opportunity for me to get into this fucking show. Because honestly, the amount of people that are in my life that watch the housewives franchise i feel like i'm missing out on something culturally because you can't relate i can't believe you don't watch it because to recap with you could

be another podcast like it would be amazing uh-huh i know i do feel like when people are talking about it i'm like oh fuck who's fel, who's Felicia, you know, or whatever. And even when I did, I've done some of the Housewives podcast and have had no idea that they were housewives. Like, my publicist will be like, oh, you should do this podcast. It's really popular to promote something, whatever. And I'll go on. And then I'm like, how do I know that woman? And they're like, well, she's a real housewife.

Like, Garcelle. I did Garcelle's podcast. I'm like, she's awesome. She's the best. What does she do? And they're like, she's on the Housewives. I was like, oh's awesome. She's the best. What does she do? And they're like, she's on The Housewives. I was like, oh. She was on The Real as well.

Yeah, she's cool. And I love her. And she lives near me. Yeah, to be fair, she has done a lot of things. She's done a lot. Before being a housewife. Yeah. And is she married, Garcelle?

No. Oh, was she married to someone? Someone else, yeah. And the men are never featured? Well, New Jersey, the men kind of like rule the school like Frank and Melissa's husband, Joe Gorga. And you know what I mean? Do you watch it? I you know what? I have watched only two seasons. She's busy watching the Kardashians. She's rewatching the Kardashians. She's rewatching the Kardashians. FYI. I did watch the Utah one,

though. The first season of the Utah one. I was into that. Oh, yeah. That one was good. The second season's great. Yeah, my friend works on that show. That's a great franchise. Anything Mormon adjacent.

But Dubai was a bomb. It was not good. What's the word? So have subsequent episodes of Dubai been any better? I haven't watched any more. That turned me off so badly. I think that room we were sitting in turned you off. It was the carpeting in there. It was like a conference room.

How many times I had to go to the bathroom. It was like a corporate conference room. But it was great to sit there instead of like COVID alley in the airport. Because we're with someone famous. I was just telling Jackie about... Jamie, sorry. You can call me whatever you'd like. Jackie, I was just telling Jamie about

I got this laser done two weeks ago. And I can't feel my chin because they, whatever they did, I said, do a double dose because I was starting to get that little, I was coming down from my chin to my neck. And I said, just hit me hard with that because they were putting me under. So I was like, I don't care about the pain level. Just fucking get that thing to tighten up. And I haven't been able to feel my shins. They killed your nerves.

I'm like, I went in after and I was like, I can't feel anything in this area. And he's like, you won't for about three months. Three years. What? I know. Three years. Like my boobs, there's parts of it I don't feel. I had a reduction lift just for everyone out there.

And there's areas of my titty I can't feel. Well, you had a reduction lift. And interestingly enough, her boobs grew back. You guys, I just like to eat. And they came all back. But this is a phenomenon because you are not my first friend that has had a boob reduction and had the boobs grow back. Yeah.

See, that would happen to me because I have a weird thing where like my boobs are like goldfish. Like if I lose weight, they stay the same size. And if I gain weight weight they get bigger yeah so it just is like how is that like a goldfish growing uh they grow to the size of their environment yeah and they taste good my kids live on those but look my body i'm gonna just show it and the camera can see it. I don't gain it in my butt, in my legs, nothing. I gain it a little in the hip and all in the tit. All in the tit?

Yeah, all in the tit. I guess it's like, because I guess getting a boob reduction is a little bit like getting liposuction. Because when you get those procedures, they have to tell you, you cannot gain five pounds ever again. Otherwise, it's going to go straight back to where you got it. Because I had lipo done on my arms when I was in my 20s. And then it on the back of my arms, you know, and then it came around the front, like the fat.

And I was like, wait, what the fuck is it? And they're like, oh, it's transpositioning. Yeah, it needs a new place to live. And I was like, well, you could have fucking told me that in the first place. They're like cockroaches, that fat. But you can't get boob reduction. You need specific instructions because it doesn't make any sense to take them off.

You always have to go smaller than what you think to account for when you gain weight and they come back. The only positive is they're very buoyant. Like because I got them lifted, they're like huge, but they're like they're high and tight. You know what I mean? They're like a 25-year-old. And one of my friends is like, you should start an OnlyFans. So that's the backup plan if this makeup thing doesn't work out. Well, I mean, you already have an OnlyFans. So how would you start a new one under a different name and alias? Can I plug the OnlyFans? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what we're here for.

Jamie G. Yes. So we're gonna use your sagaciousness and great instincts and have you help us give advice to people. Great. Are you down? I love it. I'm so down. I'm so down. Are you going to come to Mallorca in September, Catherine? You're coming? They're coming. Yes.

I just have to check with my husband. I think it's going to be fine. But I'm coming. Just come the last week when we're going. Yeah, the last week we're having a bunch of girls. Fun, fun group is coming. Yes. i'll save you no one parties like chelsea i'm just i want to tell you we have the i literally have the best time like it's just really fun you're a fun person yeah high five i like to high five yeah and you're honest too she'll tell me when i'm being annoying

and then i just leave and go watch tv well Well, sometimes your Marcos are too long. That's true. Your Marco Polos. Like, you're not saying anything. And you're just videotaping yourself like OnlyFans. If I wanted to see that, I would go on your OnlyFans page. Then just go to my OnlyFans. Let's not even talk anymore.

I'm like, are you going to say something or what? She's just, like, videotaping herself. I'm like, I'm in the shower. It's really humid out. And I have a zit right here. And my boobs are very big. Anyway, hope you're having a good day. I love you.

That's what my Marcos are. Yeah, yours are always quick. Well, I'm going to cut this off and we're going to go to break. Okay. Bye. That was it, Jamie, actually. Are we done? Okay, just one segment of the show. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Okay, just one gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you.

And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park.

Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really.

No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. We're back.

And, Jamie, I don't usually do this, but since I know you're a fan of the show and I felt like this email was very appropriate, I have a feedback email that I'm going to read before we get into some questions. Feedback email? What do you mean you don't normally do this? Like troll? Well, not usually while the guest is here.

Oh, right, right, right. Oh, right. Also, I do want to say it's so nice to meet you because I've been listening to you for months now and you're really cute. I was talking about you with my husband who works on the show and I was like, Jamie is coming. He's like, do you know her? I'm like, no, we talked for 10 minutes. She's great. Everyone loves Jamie. So I already love you. Aw, thank you.

Yeah. So Michelle says, Dear Chelsea, first huge fan. I had the privilege of seeing Chelsea in Seattle in February with my childhood best friend. It was our first post-pandemic concert, and it was exactly what a couple of 57-year-old Jewish Jersey girls needed. So that's thank you number one. I love it. Second thank you is this. Jamie was there, by the way. I was there, yes. In Seattle. That was a fun trip, too.

Until you. Yeah, until you. Okay, anyway, continue. I listened to Whole Relationship Red Flags with Juliana Margulies today, and it was exactly the advice I needed to convey to my 28-year-old son who's in a relationship with a woman, much like the man described in the podcast. I basically transcribed the advice and gave it to my son to help him see how unhealthy his relationship is, and it worked. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

Nothing brings a parent to their knees more than their child in pain, and you truly helped me to help my child through and out of something very unhealthy and difficult. From one Jersey girl to another, thank you for just being you and doing what you do. Best, Michelle. Oh my God. You have to send that to Juliana. Do you have her info? I will. I'll text her. Yeah, I'll send it over. I'll text her, but you have to send that to her. She's going to fucking love that. So, Juliana Margulis, did you hear that episode?

I listened. Yes, I did. I've never gotten more texts and responses in my life about somebody being so great on the podcast. She was amazing. I knew nothing about her except she's an amazing actress, and she is so real and cool and lovely. And you know what? She's so genuine.

She's without guile like she's just very much present and like you want her to win you root for her and she's available for you like you're talking to her she's present and she's not thinking about anything else and just so filled with love and I think everyone can pick up on that that's why she had such a big impact on her episode she texted me also Catherine and, please let me know if anyone drops out last minute. I'm happy to come back anytime. I said, we love that offer. Yeah, I enjoyed that episode.

She is amazing. She's so modest. She's so real. She's down to earth. And she's just so... There's something ethereal about her. Like, looking at her in her face and her eyes and how open she is, you just feel safe with her. I love that.

Yeah. And her like buttery voice. Yeah. Very different than Martha Stewart. That was a great episode though too. That was a great episode too. She tells it how it is that Martha. I looked up on my phone that day.

I was like, I looked at the phone and the top news story was Martha Stewart wants friends to die so she can marry their husbands. It was front and center on my People magazine. And the little quotable quotes, it was like, I just want them to die. Oh, my God. She must have been like, fuck, why did I do chocolate vodka? She doesn't care. She says what she wants. I know.

She's making a rhubarb pie somewhere. She seems to also be in the moment with whatever she's doing. She's in her own special moment. Right. She's a goldfish. She doesn't remember anything from the past. Well, our next email comes from Maggie. Maggie is in Reno.

She says, dear Chelsea, I live in a small town outside of Reno, Nevada. Outside of Reno? Like Reno's not bad enough? Where it's sunny 300 plus days of the year. However, my husband refuses to wear a sunscreen. We do a lot of yard work together and he's often out and about with the dogs. He usually tans more than burns, but I'm beginning to notice age spots on his face that weren't there before. He notices them too, but I'm beginning to notice age spots on his face that weren't there before.

He notices them too, but shrugs it off. I know this sounds vain, but I'm worried about the effect the sun will have on his skin in the long run. After all, I'm the one having to look at and kiss him every day. Is it unfair of me to insist he wear sunscreen so he doesn't turn into a shriveled piece of leather? I've touted all of its health benefits, but I'm too afraid to flat out say that I'm worried he's going to look busted by the time we're in our 70s. I mean, if he asked me to get a boob job, I'd be pretty offended. But this town's already full of rednecks, and I don't want to be married to one.

I'm not sure what to do. Am I being too superficial? Maggie. Well, first of all, she's going to go in on the sun damage aspect of it because that's fucked up. First of all, you can couch it as protection, like refuses to wear sunblock is just stupid. Like their skin cancer kills. Melanoma is like one of the worst, worst kind of cancers you can get and fatal like hello. So I mean, it's not even about vanity. It's about health and protection and no, and vanity is there too.

You have every right to be like, hey, I don't want you to turn into a shriveled up raisin. Obviously, you don't give a shit, which makes me question a lot of things. You don't think you should give a shit about the way that I fucking feel about how you look. You know what I mean? Obviously, relationships don't have to be

based completely on that, but it is an element. But the most primary reason is to protect yourself from cancer. So if you have a husband that doesn't want to wear sunscreen and doesn't think that it's going to affect him in any way, then that's a bigger issue. I know. Is it hiding something else? Like that's just like a no brainer. It's like, take out the garbage, put on the sunscreen. Maybe you need to show him how. Maybe you need to reward him like a little baby because sometimes guys need to be like, you know, I have to make my husband's doctor's appointment sometimes.

Like, I have to call or he won't go. It's just part of their DNA. So maybe, you know, attach a reward to it. You know, like when kids are trying to learn to potty train. I would say fuck that. You don't need a fucking reward to put on sunscreen, you fucking asshole. I think she just has to put it on him. If you have to do it yourself, fine. Who cares? Give him a massage.

Yeah, give him a little face head massage. If he's bald, that's fun to give him a little bald massage. And if he has hair, just put it on him for him. And if he doesn't let you do that, then I don't even... Yeah, there's a deeper issue. Then you need to leave Reno. Yeah. Escape Reno.

Come out here. Call 9-1-Reno-9-1-1. And that police academy will show up on the front door with Carrie Kenny Silver leading the charge. Yes, I love her. My favorite. I love her. She is the best. Yeah, so non-negotiable.

Yeah, if he's not willing to do that, what else is he not willing to do? Call us back when you have a real problem. I mean, these days, like some people don't like the texture of SPF or whatever, but these days there's all kinds of different ones. No, there's so many SPFs. Yes, there's oil, there's light stuff. They're great. And there's ones that you don't feel and they don't change your skin tone.

The one I like the best is that Ulta, the tinted moisturizer. Ulta? Dr. Ulta MD? change your skin tone. The one I like the best is that Ulta, the tinted moisturizer. Ulta? Yeah. Dr. Ulta MD? No, Ulta. The beauty supply store. Oh, really? Ulta?

No, you're Ulta, I think. Ulta. Oh, Ulta. Okay. Yeah. There's a new one called Vacation that I really like because it smells like a vacation and it sheers down. I'll get you some.

It's really delicious. Oh, good. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Maybe, yeah. Maybe you have to find them something that like smells good or tastes like beer. Doesn't the Bunny Ranch make an SPF? That's for your penis. Oh, well, let's start there. Well, our next caller, this is from Nikki.

Nikki says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 38-year-old mother of four going through a relatively peaceful divorce. I was with my ex for nine years. I've recently started using Bumble and dipping my toes into the dating pool. I'm looking just to get out and have fun with no desire for a serious long-term relationship. I'm writing because I keep getting a lot of matches that are men 10 or more years younger than me. I wasn't anticipating this, and I feel predator-ish, considering I do have an 18-year-old son. I know it's a mental block for me, and I'm very attracted to several of these younger guys, but I'm terrified. I need to stop feeling like I'm an old hag and embrace this really flattering response. Any tips on how to do that?

Hi, Nikki. Hi, Nikki. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi, my dear friend. Jamie's our guest today. She's here to say hi too. Hi, Jamie. Love your makeup, girl. Thank you. How long have you been single? First of all, a couple months. Okay. And how long was your relationship that you're getting out of? Nine years. Okay. Well, that's pretty quick to be dating. Are you ready to be dating? Yeah.

Well, I left the relationship. I was dead for five years of that. Yeah. I left the relationship mentally a while ago. So, yes. Sounds like it. Okay. Well, in that case, good for you.

Good for you for taking leave. Taking permanent leave. I don't want that to be confused with the leave of absence. And how old are you? I'm 38. Okay. And you have an 18-year-old son. And so the guys that are responding are how old? 28? I actually had to change the settings because they were as young as 20. Oh, no, no. I changed it to 25 because I couldn't go younger than that at all. No, that's good. I actually think 25 and 18 is close. I mean, I do think you do need to consider your son's age.

I think that as a mother, like, you know what I mean? You're setting him up for the rest of his life. So everything you do is going to have an impact on him. And that's something to always keep in mind. I know you need to get some action. So I want that to happen as well, but in a way that you can have all situations working in your favor. I would even say 25 might be a little bit too close to 18 because it's closer to his age than it is to yours. So I may be like bump it. Let's bump that age up to 30, right? 30 is young

too. I mean, you're 35. I'm 38. 38. Yeah. Bump it up to 30. Let's do that. That's enough of an age difference. It's more of an age difference between your son and him. And then do you like older guys at all? Or no, you're only into younger guys. I'm pretty open. I date older. My husband that we're getting a divorce is four years younger than me. So I've kind of been all over the place. What is it? Do you have a cap on your age setting? Is it like 55? Okay.

Maybe go 60, girl. Get freaky. I work with senior citizens. That's too close to them. Can't you just have sex with those people? I want to get fired. Sure. How's it been?

How's your dating experience been? Have you been having a lot of fun? Yes. And actually, like I went on a date last night with someone like 10 years older than me. But the best date I've been on, I went on a date, one date with a 25 year old and it was the best date I've been on. Oh, what was so great about it? He actually wanted to hear what I had to say. It sounded to me interesting. And we just walked on the beach at night and it was just pleasant and nice.

Yeah, it was just great. It's so funny you say that because my girlfriend in Vancouver was on this thread with my girlfriends from Canada. And she went out with a guy last night. She goes, I don't understand what the fuck is wrong with Ben. He does not ask me one fucking question about myself. She's in the bathroom. She's like, I'd rather be in the bathroom Marco poloing with you guys than fucking sitting here and listen to this asshole talk about himself. She's like, he did not ask me one question.

And this brings me to my another point that my girlfriend said her brother works at a bar. He's like in his 30s in New York City. And he said, oh, all girls under the age of 30 are bisexual now, all of them, because men are so disgusting and terrible that they've all turned inward. You know, they're all like we're open to women, too, because and it's so interesting you say that a younger guy asks you about yourself because younger men this next generation whatever that generation is called what is that generation z they're the people that understand the situation about how like everything is shifting and moving and they understand you do need to ask women about

themselves you do need to ask questions exactly their moms are doing a better job in raising them, you know? So listen, just use that as a template for like the fact that you know what you're looking for. Like that date to have it in the first place was great because now you know you want to have somebody that's going to be interested in you and you're going to be able to find that above 30. I agree. I hope so. You will. You will. You're doing all the right things. Look at you. Yeah, you're fun. You look fun.

You can tell. Cool glasses, great tats. Thank you. Yeah, go have fun. Live your best life. Do you have the freedom to fucking do whatever you want with whomever you want now? Over 30?

Yep. That's your guardrail. Over 30, yes. Your one guardrail. Try it. All right. All right. I appreciate it. I appreciate you. that's your guardrail your one guardrail try it alright alright I appreciate it

I appreciate you that was fun thanks so much have fun Nikki let us know how it goes that is funny I can see why younger guys are into her

because she's like vibrant like you said she's got these cool tattoos she's stylish you know I can see it it's funny though

when you think about the age I immediately I'm like no no no the age has to be closer to you than to your son, right? And meanwhile, who the fuck am I to say that? But I just think that's the right way. I think it's the right way too. I'm like uncomfortable being in an elevator with somebody too young, like of the opposite sex. I'm like, I don't want to make eye contact with them. I just don't want to have anything to do with them. I get very uncomfortable if I feel like a young boy is flirting with me. Yeah. Yes. I don't like, I'm not to do with them. I get very uncomfortable if I feel like a young boy is flirting with me.

Yeah. Yes. I don't like, I'm not into young at all. I've never been. No, me neither. I mean, I guess when I'm older, I will be. No, I think you'll still be going for the older. I'll probably be pounding pussy at that point.

Let's be honest. I'm going to turn into a full-time pussy pounder. We all are. What are you eating? Moving on. Our next question. Oh, yeah, that's good. You want one?

No, thanks. Is it a flask, Chelsea? No, it's a chia. It's like an antioxidant. Vitamin C? Concentrated superfoods that I suck out of this little, what is this called? A pouch. Pouch.

Pouch, thank you. I knew a mother would know. I'm going to burp her now. Excellent. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like

why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer.

And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobbblehead.

It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next call comes from Brooke. Brooke says, Dear Chelsea, I'm 35 years old, a freelance writer, and I live in your home state of New Jersey. I promise this is not all just emails from people from New Jersey. By the way, Jamie's from New Jersey, too. Well, my family is. Elizabeth! Oh, that's right. You're not really from New Jersey.

Who cares? I love your podcast and listen to it every day while I walk my big, fluffy dog. I could use your advice after a traumatic experience. By the way, this is a little bit long, but it's because we have an update from her. I was 12 weeks pregnant with my first pregnancy when I had a miscarriage. My husband and I were super excited to be parents and absolutely devastated when we lost the baby. As I write this, it's been seven weeks since I had the miscarriage, and no matter how much positivity I try to channel, it wasn't meant to be, my life is still abundant without a baby, etc., I cannot stop going down negative spirals

of how there is a chance I'll never be a mother. It consumes me and is bringing my husband down. I've tried gratitude journaling every morning, charging crystals under the moon, writing down affirmations, and no matter what I do, I have this sinking fear that I'll never have a baby again. I know that you have no desire to be a mother, but any advice on how to reframe the narrative into a positive so I can move on? And so then she sent an update while we were getting scheduled. A recent update. I just found out a week ago that I'm pregnant again. I am, of course, so thrilled and grateful I was able to conceive again, but I'm so terrified of having another miscarriage that it consumes my thoughts. That sinking feeling of never being a mother again

that I mentioned in my first email, it's still very much there. It's just taken a different form. I cry almost every day and have had anxiety dreams, fearing that the most traumatic thing that's ever happened to me is going to happen again. Weirdly enough, that jealousy I have of other new mothers and pregnant women is still here too. I'm jealous that they're excited and planning baby showers when I'm crippled by anxiety and find myself almost waiting for the other shoe to drop. I really do not want this to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. My husband does his best to reassure me, but the reality is he doesn't know that everything will be okay. Physically bleeding out your baby after seeing its heartbeat on screen is not something a man can fully comprehend.

He lost his first child too, but my anxiety of that happening again runs far deeper than his. I know that it's not good for me, the baby, or my marriage. Please help. Brooke. Hi, Brooke. Hi, Chelsea. How are you? Hi, this is my good friend, Jamie Greenberg. She's our guest today. She's my makeup artist and buddy. Hi, Jamie.

Hi, how are you? So good to meet you. You too. You are a mother. So why don't you speak to this first before I weigh in? Okay. So first of all, I've also had miscarriages. My first time I was pregnant, I had a miscarriage. And I know exactly how you feel. And it is a death. And there is grief. You seem to be paralyzed by the grief. The thing about children, when you have a child, I mean, your mind is always going to go to a dark place. And you have to start now while you're preparing to train your brain not to be like, well, if they sleep out, they're going to die. If they drink that, they're going to die.

If they go on the field trip, they're going to crash because you won't live. You're pretty much a prisoner of fear. So I don't know if there's a therapist that you could get into some therapy or if there is like a light antidepressant you could take. It's amazing what antidepressants can do. Some of them you can take when you're pregnant. Some you can't. I think Zoloft maybe you could take when you're pregnant. I don't know. I'm not a doctor,

but I am. And you should talk to your doctor about what would be good, what would be best for you. Anti-anxiety sounds like too, you know, not any, I mean, because you're anxious. That's what this is, right? Yeah. Yeah. Which can present as depression, but you're just nervous, which is so normal. I mean, do you know how common this is with women? Yeah, it's apparently it's one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, which is unbelievable. But it's crazy. I've had three miscarriages, Brooke. Wow. So it can happen again. But it's OK. And it's normal. And that's what my doctor said. Your body's doing its job. That baby wasn't meant to be here because of whatever reason. You want a healthy baby and your body's doing its job. So I know it's really hard to switch that and like just say thank you

to yourself. But you have to start getting into that mind space. You're going to be such a better wife, mother and human because you are also yourself. You're not just a wife and a mother. You're you and you have to treat yourself good, you know? Yeah. And I think you should wake up every day and just write down 15 times in a row. Thank you for this pregnancy. Thank you for this pregnancy. Thank you for this pregnancy. And, you know, to just change the drum beat that's going on in your head and shift the narrative because you do have the power to do that. You really do. There's plenty of meditation apps that are going to be pregnancy specific to calm down your nerves, to calm your anxiety, to take it down and to be grateful instead of fearful. They talk about how gratitude leads to abundance. That's true.

Your attitude does matter. And it's not like your anxiety is going to kill your baby, but it's not helping anything. And it's certainly not helping you. So why not just figure out all the tools that you can, you know, access and look online. Now everything is online, like these pregnancy support groups, people who have had miscarriage support groups, just Google that. And you're going to find a bunch of women that feel exactly that the way that you do that also are going to have tools and coping mechanisms that you may not know about. It's so true. I mean, the first miscarriage I had, I had something called a molar pregnancy. Google it. It's a whole thing. Anyway, I had never heard of it before. And I remember I went

on like Oprah's website. This was before Christ. I went on Oprah's website and was like, you should have a show about molar pregnancies. And I was like, so depressed. I mean, it was a death. I know how you feel. And I found this weird chat room in London in the UK. And everybody there had gone through what I had gone through. And we all like emailed each other and gave each other tips and tricks. And it made me feel not alone. You're not alone. And no one talks about this because you just don't want to go around talking about death all the time. But it's so common.

It's more common than having a healthy pregnancy sometimes, you know? So figure out what you need to do to get happy because it's just going to dictate how everything else goes. Yeah, absolutely. I think the big thing I've been struggling with is I do try really hard to be positive and I do my journaling every morning. Chelsea, I like your idea of maybe being repetitive about the one thing that's really on my mind. So I definitely would

like to try that. But it's almost like I say things like, I will have a baby, everything will be fine. And I want to do that. I really want to believe it. And then there's like this little voice in my head that's like, do I believe that? What if that's not true? And then it's sort of like I go back into the spiral. So do you have any tips for that? Well, we all have that voice that's like the devil on our shoulder. It's called our shadow. That's like where our bad thoughts come from.

And pushing that away, you have to acknowledge that. That's not who you are. That is a part of you. We all have a shadow. We all have someone telling us we're not good enough. We're not smart enough. You're not going to get this. Everything's going to fall to shit.

You're going to lose this. You're going to lose that. You're going to run out of money. And then you're going to, you know, eat shit and die. Everyone has that voice. You're not the only person that has it. The difference that you could make in your own life is by saying, like, that's my voice. That's my shadow.

That's it. I have it. You can hear that once in a while, but you can't let it run you. You know what I mean? You're in charge of you, not that little voice in your head, you know, and the minute you let that voice take over and it's the only way that you think, you know, even that's salvageable. You can even still get back from that, but then you've lost your voice, which is the big voice. That's the little voice and you're the big voice and you have to just be in charge, you know, and even if it's a matter of repeating that exercise, you know, writing it down 15 times, if you feel like that does something for you, then every time you feel like that voice is overpowering you,

you can do that. You should start meditating because that is quieting of the mind. And what meditation does for me is always quiet that voice. It always just like puts me in touch with earth. The reason that I'm here, you know what I mean? Like my body. And it's like, stop thinking about all the little negative things. Just connect with the fact that you're here on earth and you're a living, breathing person and you have an impact on people. Yeah. I actually tried meditation for the first time yesterday and I really enjoyed it. And what you just said about feeling like you have an impact on people, I've been trying really hard to actually find the positive of what happened

because that was kind of making me feel better. Like maybe it happened for a reason. And even something like this of having the opportunity to share my story and connect with other women, because I know there's so many women suffering in silence. It makes me feel like maybe I can help other people feel better too. Great. There you go. That's the first, that's going to get you out of your own head right away. When you're talking to other people about their stuff, you don't have the time for your negative thoughts. And I love that you said you loved meditating because sometimes for people, it takes so long to love it. So use that as a sign to start implementing that into your daily life. Meditate. Every morning when you wake up, do a gratitude

meditation for where you are now. You are going to be able to help people. I believe that. I do too. Just you calling is helping somebody listening. That's very true. And that makes me feel a lot better. Thank you. Yeah. You got this, Brooke. I would also recommend just specifically around your body, you're going through a trauma that is body related and it probably feels like your body betrayed you. One of my mentors had always said, if you're going through a trauma or a grief, triple your self-care. And for you, I think doing stuff that specifically is around your body, taking long baths, if that's your thing, doing like a luxurious scrub, going to get a massage, doing things to treat your body

in a way that makes you feel valued and good and indulgent and positive about your body again, might be something that's really helpful. That's a really good idea. To chime in last also, just because I've done this and I've had a lot of medical things within my family, you have to be your own advocate. You know, it's really crazy, but there's no gynecologist that's gonna say,

hey, sorry about your miscarriage. Here is a list of things that is gonna make you feel better and you should probably go do this and you should do that. You're going to have to seek it out and find what makes you feel better. If that's acupuncture, meditation, getting on antidepressants, taking a jog. I run. I run my anxiety every day. And that works. So stay busy when you're feeling the most paralyzed because it's going to take your mind and that ego voice out of controlling you. Find out what Brooke likes and take care of yourself because no one

is going to help you do that. Absolutely. I've been loving walking my dog every day and listening to your podcast, Chelsea. Oh, I love that. I do want to tell you, actually, I let Catherine know this, but the first time I ever listened to your podcast, actually, I let Catherine know this, but the first time I ever listened to your podcast was actually when I came back from the hospital after it happened and I had to go walk my dog. And I usually listen to true crime and I was like, I can't do that right now. Like I need something funny. And I, you know, I read all your books and I loved them. And I was like, I wonder if Chelsea Handler has a podcast. And you did. And I've listened to it every day since. And I love it, obviously.

I love how it's funny, but positive and uplifting. So thank you so much for helping me get through that really hard time. Oh, my God. And look, now you're on the podcast. I know. It's crazy. It has come full circle. Yeah.

I love that. I love that. You are going to help people. I can see it. You are. You shall see. Yeah. I love that. I love that. You are going to help people. I can see it. You are. We shall see. Yeah. And good luck with everything. Everything's going to be fine. Thank you. Everything's going to be okay. I needed to hear that. Thank you. Yeah. All right. Thank you so much, Brooke. Keep us posted. Okay. Thank you guys. Bye, Brooke. Bye.

Bye. Nice to meet you. Oh, so sweet. I love her. I love that. She's going to be okay. Look, you're going to have- I was about to announce your miscarriages for you, and I was like, let me let Jamie actually speak to that, because I was like, Jamie's had miscarriages. I've had three. Yeah, one, two, three. Yeah, that's a lot.

I know. Devastating. Were they all as devastating as the first one? No. No. I mean, they're all devastating. But the first one was like, it's because you don't have any kids. So you think something's wrong. I'm never going to have kids. I felt the same way she did. Oh, yeah. And now look, I have three kids and I run

away from them. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You're going to be there soon. Yeah. You'll be in Italy soon. Would you like to come to Spain? Yes. I opening. I feel like there is this, to me, it feels dated advice of like, don't tell anybody until the second trimester because what if something happens? But what that then does is leave women in this position where if they do miscarry, they're completely alone. Their families don't know what they're going through. What are your thoughts about that? I mean, I think you're right. I think that's like an old way of thinking. It's like, shh, don't say the C word or shh, don't tell anyone. No, you need your support system. You need your friends. I was a blabbermouth. I would tell, I'd be like, my husband would be like,

don't tell anyone. I'm like, okay. And I'd like tell 10 of my friends. And then when I had the miscarriage, I had those 10 friends to support me rather than having to tell the story again. It's like if people are in your life, they're in your life for everything, not just like the good news. Yeah. It's also a great way to weed people out if they're not there for you. You know, I'm all about sharing everything. One of the best things in life to learn is to ask for help because people really want to give it. And there's no shortage of that.

Even though if you, even though, you know, you may think, oh, people are selfish. They're not interested. They're too busy. People want to be there for you. And I want to be there for strangers. So I know that this is true for so many people that want to help. And, you know, asking for help is just like such a lift off of your shoulders. It feels so good to get love back when you need it in those dark times. Amen. So agree. Well, our last question comes from A. A says, Dear Chelsea, I'm hoping you can offer advice on how to get started with therapy,

not the finding the therapist part, but how to actually talk with someone. I don't exactly know what I want to work on or where to begin, but I definitely know that I do have things to work on and to work through. I have a lot of unresolved childhood trauma and complex parent relationships still lingering, and I mostly shove them down and try to ignore it. Up to this point, I've self-medicated, quote-unquote, with self-help books and podcasts, but my experiences are pretty unique and I know one-to-one therapy would be beneficial to me at this point. But how do I start? For years, I put off therapy because I felt like I couldn't afford it or access it,

but I can no longer use that excuse. I think what truly holds me back is just nervousness around getting started and facing it. Like, where do you begin? The initial consultation, the first meeting with your therapist. I find that part to be the most daunting. I just freeze at the thought of it. Please help, A. Well, okay. She or he said that they didn't want, they didn't need to know how to find a therapist, right? They just had to start. Okay. I'll say this to you. Listen, like this has been a big topic of conversation in my life for a long time, that you are postponing your true purpose and potential when you do not look inward. When you are put off facing what

has happened to you and something has happened to every single person, you are postponing your true potential. You don't even know what is on the other side. And yes, it's a daunting task, but you're courageous and you're brave when you take that step. I won't ever date somebody who isn't in therapy or has been to therapy because it is such a valuable tool. You are going to learn skill sets that you didn't even think you needed to have.

And you're not only gonna better yourself, you're gonna better your relationship with people and you're gonna better your understanding of other people and your life is going to be richer. And that takes a little bit of work and you have to be willing to commit to going and doing that work and being honest with somebody is going to lighten your load. Getting things off your chest that have been stirring and harming you emotionally in ways that are seen and unseen. And talking about that with somebody, a professional, does wonders for your psychology.

It helps you in ways that are immeasurable. And I can't say it enough that, you know, get started now, right away. Go find somebody. And if that's not the right person, then go find another person. But do not be you have to be indefatigable in your pursuit of your therapy. You have to go for it. Like, go be brave. Just think about that. Do you want to be brave or do you want to be a pussy?

Yeah. And do you want to, like, reap the rewards of how good your life can get by, you know, getting through all the dark stuff, getting through the muck? The only person in your way is you. And like you said, I do think that's good to point out is that sometimes the therapist you go to might not be right for you. It's like dating. So find one that you feel really completely yourself with that you can strip down all this trauma, get it out. You'll flourish like a flower. You need to do it. And we only have one life here. So don't waste any more time. That's right. People are dying.

Yep. Every day. Every day. So get to therapy today. Well, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back with Jamie Greenberg and Chelsea. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer.

We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by mr brian cranson is with us how are you hello my friend wayne knight about jurassic park wayne knight welcome to really no really sir bless you all hello newman and you never know when howie mandel might just stop by to talk about judging really that's the opening really no really yeah really no really go to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, no really. Yeah, really. No really.

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And we're back. Jamie put her underwear back on. Thank you, Jamie. Brad, you can come back in now. Oops, sorry. Well, Jamie, is there any advice you'd like to get from Chelsea? I do have a juicy question to ask Chelsea. How do you make your matzo ball soup?

No, that's not it. Okay, this is a good one. I was thinking about it. I was talking about it with my girlfriends from high school when I was in New York. So I have a friend. Well, it's, it's a sister of one of my friends from high school. She is in her early thirties. She's single and she is dating an ex-boyfriend of hers that she dated in her 20s. And now a decade and a half have gone by. I love these stories. She's dating him again on the side. But he is married with a child. And he's miserable in his marriage.

And the wife is miserable. And she feels like it's not that big of a deal because they had a past and they're both miserable. But, you know, it's still dicey. And she's like, I don't know what to do. And I was like, I don't know what to tell you. Let me ask Chelsea. Dear Chelsea, what do you think?

I mean, it's so it's like it takes two to tango. If I was Martha Stewart, I would say I hope that that woman passes away soon so I can marry her. In a nice, delicate way. I think that it's just not good vibrations to be participating in an affair. That's what you're doing. It doesn't matter how miserable either of those people are. He can leave his wife and end his marriage. And he should if he's so unhappy.

And also, I understand you have a history with him. So that gives you a little bit like I know psychologically what you're saying to yourself, like he was mine before he was hers and we have a history. It's still not right. Morally, you can control yourself. He got a little taste of what could happen, right? If he wants to leave his wife and start a life with you. So it's out there. He knows. And you should draw that delineation and line in the sand and say like, listen, I'll be with you, but I can't have an affair with you while you're married anymore. It's just not who I want to be. And especially if there's a future ahead for both of you, that's not who you want him to be. That is great advice. Yes. Great advice. I just dropped the mic. Did anyone hear it? Yes. Put it on her tab. It was in this pouch. I was in the pouch, so you might not have heard. It was a liquid mic. Actually, before we go, Jamie, can I ask you a makeup question that I've struggled with forever?

I never ask. I fancy myself pretty good with makeup, but whenever I put on mascara, I always get mascara on my lid. As I'm putting it on, it swipes. It ruins my eye shadow, my whole situation. What do I do? There's two things you can do. Well, there's three things you could do. The first is slow down.

Make your makeup time a meditation, honey. Slow down, relax. It's part of the self-care. I know we don't have time for that. So if you're not going to do that, the second thing you could do is actually take something like a credit card or a superfood pouch, put it behind on top of your eyes like this. You lay it on top of your eyelid. And then you brush your mascara against the card or the superfood pouch. And can you do that with like a Q-tip too?

Just put like a Q-tip. You could put a Q-tip, yes. Yeah. And then I can just be messy. Just in case you don't have a credit card or a superfood pouch in your bathroom. Or business card. I always have credit cards in my bathroom. Yeah, she's got a bowl of them.

For other reasons. Other reasons. In your makeup bag. Lastly, this is a great trick. Do your mascara and then wait till it completely dries. And if you take an empty spoolie, which is usually on the end of like an eyebrow pencil, those little spoolies, you can actually chip away and the mascara will flake right off. Most people go in and then they try to take it off and they smear it and then you have a mess. If you actually wait for it to dry, you can just chip it off. Wow. Wait, what? You know what's funny? I've done it to Chelsea before because we have issues with my eyes. Jamie and I have issues. She likes to. I like to get her smoky.

She's got her signature look. She likes to put eyeliner on the inside of my eyes all the way down to here so that I look cross-eyed when I take pictures. Yes. I was like, hey, Jamie, I showed her the picture. I go, I don't want to ever look like this again, okay? And now when I ask her, she's like, you said you didn't like that. Yep, yep. She's got her signature look, and every once in a while we'll pop a little color in the eyeliner or something. But besides that, she knows what she likes, and she's sticking with it. But one time I did get a little mascara on your eyelid. But if

you wait and then I like was like, sorry, and I just scraped it away. It just it just flex right off like dry paint, you know, dry paint how you can just kind of like. Yeah, yeah. Yep. And do you put your mascara on from that? You don't do it from the top of the last. You just only go on the other. Yeah. Because if you want to get more mascara on your the, you don't do it from the top of the lash. No. You just only go on the other. Yeah. Because if you want to get more mascara on your eyelid, that would be a good approach. Also, open your mouth as wide as you can when you're putting on your mascara. That will help too.

Why do we do that? I don't know. This lighting is next level awesome. Look at you. Claudia Schiffer I'm sitting next to. Oh my goodness gracious. For real. And you did your makeup? Did somebody else

do your makeup? Never. Okay, I'll kill him. Cut a bitch like in softball. Okay, well Jamie, I love you. Come back and visit us, okay?

I think you should be a regular. Oh, I love you guys. Yeah. Thanks for having me. Okay, Jamie Makeup at Jamie Makeup. You guys, go get some Bloss,

Bly Lighter, make sure you support Planned Parenthood. Woo! So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at dearchelseaproject at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartRadio, executive produced by Nick Stumpf,

produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert. We have the answer. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really No Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.