Dear Chelsea - Minisode: Couples Counseling with Sam Jay & Yanise Monét

Episode Date: June 14, 2024

Sam Jay and Yaya join Chelsea to discuss how to get people to leave your house, rate Chelsea as a therapist, and decide once and for all whether they were on a break.     * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea Handjob. I'm here

with my friends Yaya and Sam. Okay, hi. Guess what? Oh my God, guess we have a special treat. We created a new segment for the podcast, and there are minisodes where we have different couples come on, and we talk to you guys. We go through some of the things that I know are problems between the relationship because of the time that I've spent with them, and some other things that you guys provided us with, which might be recurring problems. Okay. just this is we're with Sam and Yaya finally in one room and both of both Sam and Yaya have been

on the podcast separately individually and now they are sitting across from me with a bottle of Patron Reposado yeah that was supposed to be Don Julio but anyway I was kind of disappointed yeah sorry at least I called for alcohol I knew you were gonna want alcohol no that's fair okay so girls we're gonna start with my favorite topic Sam fucking hates when I do this shit because I riles Yaya up. And for those of you who may have missed Yaya's episode, she's a fucking piece of work. Okay. You have to know her. You can hear her. Once you hear her talk for five minutes, you're going to know what I'm talking about. But she is tricky. She is tricky and she is all woman and she is wearing the pants at the same time and i mean sam i'm wearing the pants yeah you are you're wearing i'm wearing no sam seems

like she's wearing the pants but really through your psycho drama and the way you are you are wearing the pants wow thank you chelsea do you agree with that i do yeah i absolutely do you agree with that yes wholeheartedly you're I absolutely do. You agree with that? Yes, wholeheartedly, 100%. You're very manipulative. Oh, wow. We're using those type of words? Well, I don't mean that in a negative sense.

Well, how am I supposed to fucking take that? No, manipulative is not a good term. That's not the right word. She knows how to wield her power. Yeah, manipulative. Wow. Y'all are ganging up on me. I wouldn't say you're manipulative at all, baby.

I would just say you're aware of your feminine wiles. Yes. That's a great way to put it. Well, then in that case, then you're manipulative too because you are aware of your feminine wiles. I don't know if I'm as aware of my feminine wiles as you are. Mine's a different thing. Mine's more of a masculine energy.

Yours is a very feminine energy. And I think that's good because that makes you like a real you're like very womanly, I would say. Okay. I like that she did. I like that. Yeah, like, yeah, I mean, I was looking at her titties. So I was like, Oh, you too. I like that, too. But one of my favorite parts of your relationship is that you guys have broken up and gotten back together so many times because I think that's a sign of a real, you're tried and true. You've run the gamut of time. And Sam doesn't like this subject matter because she's guilty of a lot of chicanery. Bad things.

Right? Right? Yeah, yeah. Bad things. And they're past that part of their relationship. But I think it's always fun to go back and really kind of. To relive the trauma. Cool.

All right. Let's go. Okay. Well, no, we're not going to relive the trauma. But you have to tell me your perspective from that. Like how it was. You don't have to get into details. But how you've grown and

how your relationship has evolved from then to now and like your trust level and your love level, all of it. Okay. Would you like to start? Oh, no. She doesn't ever. She doesn't even want to finish. She doesn't want to start or finish. I think that we had to grow back trust, but there are different times where I've lost Samaria's trust as well. So I think it was a mutual thing just at different times. Hers happened later on in our relationship and mine happened in the beginning of our relationship. And did you learn your lessons, so to speak, when you got caught? Oh, no, because I didn't get caught because I'm smart. So I didn't do anything. We weren together technically in my what we weren't together

technically once we were dating we weren't in an exclusive relationship right okay I disagree but okay but well tell us your version of things because I like to hear it my version of things is I came to Atlanta we said that we were going to be together that's what we said and then I left to go home under that understanding and in two weeks you were dating somebody else and lying to me about it and hiding it and I had to find out about it

through a friend of ours. So, I mean, that's what happened. Yeah, but see, it doesn't really, it kind of happened but it didn't really happen that way. Okay. Well, no, respond to what she's saying. Well, my version is that we were...

She's just smiling and waving around like Stevie Wonder. Like, you're like, what? What's happening? My version is we weren't together. Like, we were dating, but we weren't... But why when we said that we were going to be together? You wasn't there. And we were like 20.

But you can't agree to something and then go, well, the bitch ain't here, so what I agreed to doesn't matter, and I don't have to address what I agreed to. I could just go on and do whatever the fuck I want and lie about it. Hey, hey, hey, we've already been down that road. See, look, I've already apologized. We're past this.

Okay, well, we're just revisiting trauma. You just got to say what you did and stop saying it like that's not what you did. Yeah, because you know what you could say, Yaya? It's like, yeah, I'm totally guilty of that. I said that. I wasn't a good person in the beginning what you did. Yeah, because you know what you could say, Yaya? It's like, yeah, I'm totally guilty of that. I said that. I wasn't a good person in the beginning of our relationship. Okay, well. So not when we weren't together, because that is skirting some of what you did.

Okay. Sam feels like we were together, and so we were together at that time. In my head, I don't feel like we was really together. I don't feel like that. But, you know, I did probably tell her we were together. I don't feel like that. But, you know, I did probably tell her we were together. I can admit that. Okay, great. That's progress.

Now it's over forever. Yes. See? Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned

during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom cruise really do his own stunts his stuntman reveals the answer and you never know who's going to drop by mr brian kranson is with us how are you hello my friend wayne knight about jurassic park wayne knight welcome to really no really sir bless you all hello newman and you never know when howie mandel

might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, no really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And how did you

regain your trust for Yaya after that happened, Sam? She never did anything like that again? No, that's not true either. Oh my God. Well, it's not. Are you just finding out about this too? Mm-hmm. I don't think you're a good therapist.

You feel like after that that was the only time you ever did anything... Wrong? Shady-like? On that level, yeah. Okay, or you do. You are. But the thing is, yeah, yeah, even if you weren't up to something, it seems like you're up to something.

But I'm not. I know, you might not be, but it seems like you are. I'm not. Because you have that flirtatious way of going through life where you're like, there's like a twinkle in your eye, like you've got a secret. Oh, I'm just happy. Oh, my gosh. That's just happiness. And I don't intentionally flirt.

I may just be like, hey, I don't flirt like that. Well, if you feel like you didn't ever do anything ever again. Not on that level. You were flirting with Daniel, Vanessa's boyfriend. Oh, my God. Daniel. She said, I'm going to fuck Daniel. I was kidding.

I really was not going to fuck Daniel. I was just fucking with Vanessa to piss her off. She flirts. She's a flirt. I was playing. You said you were going to fuck Daniel, too. I did. See?

That would have been funny. That would have been really something that I would have liked to see. Okay. With this kind of relationship, you've managed to get through all of that shit, right? Yes. You've circled back to each other how many times? Two minutes to count. Three, four.

What was the longest time apart you spent when you broke up? When you got married, Sam, actually. Yeah, I think, yeah. Was that the longest time? Well, no, because I got married. We weren't together before that. See, so see, and that's what I feel like. I feel like we was together.

You was just tripping. We were together before I got married. In my head, we were always together. Wow. When I called you and said, be with me, and you said, no. But in my head, we knew we was always together. So, we was not together. I literally formally said, hey, I'm tired of playing games, and I just want to be with you.

And you said, I'm still having my fun, girl. I've definitely heard this version before, so it must be true. So then we weren't together. But we knew that we had an understanding that we was going to be together eventually. No, we did not. Yes, we did. I did not have that understanding. Well, I did.

I do it. Yeah, but it sounds like you had an understanding with yourself. And I feel like you probably do that a lot. You have had a whole conversation with yourself and you're like, this is what's going to happen. Oh, I have an update for you. That reminds me of asking people to leave, saying thank you. Remember how we were practicing how to get people out of your house at a dinner party? And whose idea was it?

Was it yours to stand up and say, well, that was, oh, no, we were telling you how to do it. Y'all were telling me to do it. It was Fortune, right? She was like, well. Did you do it. Y'all were telling me to do it. It was fortune, right? She was like, well. Did you do it? Did you try it? I have done it a couple of times. And what happened?

Everyone left. I mean, but it's pretty clear what I mean anyway. It's not like I had to work on that. Like telling people it's a wrap for the night. I don't think I've had to do that since we got back. I don't think I've had to do that. We haven't had a dinner party. Why?

Because you're too busy buying new furniture? I mean that. And also we've just been busy. So I just haven't had time like to plan it out and cook and stuff and invite people over. We haven't had people over. That's actually a good thing to discuss because you both have very different viewpoints about having company over. Which I'll break down for you what happens. Sam has friends over, comics probably.

And then they stay over till like 2, 3, 6 in the morning, and yeah, yeah, and then Sam goes to the comedy cellar or whatever comedy club to run her set and leaves me with the company that I do not want to entertain anymore. But I don't leave you.

I tell them, I'm the one who said that's a wrap. I tell people it's done. No, she just gets up and be like, alright y'all, I got a show, and it's like, oh. No, I be like, alright y'all, I'm the one who said that's a wrap. I tell people it's done. No, she just gets up and be like, all right, y'all, I got a show. And it's like, oh, okay. No, I be like, all right, y'all, I got a show. Like, is this done? Yeah, but people are still drinking and eating and kiki-ing. But you keep feeding them and giving them drinks.

You don't go. Because I think it's rude to be like, get up and get the fuck out. Well, then that's why they gonna. I think that's rude. Well, they gonna stay there. Because see, I'm from the South. I have Southern hospitality, unlike some people in this room. I don't know that

it's Southern hospitality. I think that you don't want to be perceived a certain way so you do things that work against what you actually want. Whereas I don't care about how I'm perceived

because I know who I am so it doesn't really matter to me. Oh, so I don't know who I am. And so I do things That's what I heard. I do things that make sense for me and I don't put myself in precarious situations that I don't want to be in.

That sounded like a dig, for sure. It did. It did sound like a dig. Again, I don't think you're a good therapist. I think you're doing worse work. I know. I don't think I'm, no. I think when you leave here, you're going to be closer

because you survived it together. Okay, okay. You know what I mean? I'll look at it on that. It's not a dig. I'm just saying. It is a dig you said I know who I am so so I'm saying I think you know who you are too but I don't think you assert

that I'm saying I know who I am so I know I'm not rude I know I'm not this to people but if it's time for this to be over it's time to be over and if your perception of that is oh Sam is rude then that's on you that really has nothing to do with me but I'm not gonna have you just sitting around my house when I don't want you there so that you don't think something. No, it's not that. I just don't have him sitting there. It's just like, I just don't want to be rude and be like, you know.

It is hard to say to someone, get out. Especially when they're having a good time. It's not right. I mean, yeah, exactly. If you're having a good time. But it's also really like, I wish I was more like Sam. Like, you would think I am, but I'm not. It's like it's hard for me to like not want to hurt because I feel like I'm like, oh, they're going to think I don't want to. Like, I always think I have to hang out. I have to hang out. Even when I don't want to fucking hang out. I want to go home. So I can relate to why it's hard to say. But it is better to just not give a fuck.

That's hard to do, too. But I'm going to try. way Fortune told us to do. Well, Fortune was almost like someone impersonating a person trying to teach us how to say goodbye. Remember? Yes. It was very Mr. Rogers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, and now you're going to say, stand up and puff your chest out and say, okay, well, that was a good night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was definitely something like that.

It was. But I learned. I learned a lot. And you learned a lot, apparently, yeah. It was definitely something like that. It was. But I learned. I learned a lot. And you learned a lot, apparently, because it worked when you tried it. Yeah, I did. And I'm in between the two of you. I don't give a fuck about a lot, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings when they're hanging out with me. And it's really fucking annoying because, you know, as a comic, you sometimes you feel like you have to fucking be funny.

And I'm like, I just want to feel like you have to fucking be funny. And I'm like, I just want to smoke a joint and walk down the street. And, like, last night my friend was like, I'll walk you home from dinner. I'm like, please don't. Like, I just want to fucking walk down the street. By yourself. Listening to my music and not talking to a single person. And that's okay. Yeah.

There's nothing wrong with that. Okay. Well, thanks for listening to This Week with Sam and Yaya. You can check out Sam J., who is on tour now in cities all over the country, and she's fucking funny. If you haven't seen her on The Roast or on her own special, then go watch both of those. Her special's on HBO Max, now known as Max. And then you can follow Yaya at Vanity.Vixen on Instagram and TikTok. And it is worth the follow because she's up to some, well, shenanigans.

I mean, you'll understand what I'm talking about. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really No Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like... Why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor? What's in the museum of failure? And does your dog truly love you? We have the answer.

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really No Really Podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.