Dear Chelsea - Minisode: Crazy (About Your) Ex Girlfriend with Jenny Mollen and Jason Biggs

Episode Date: August 23, 2024

Jenny Mollen and Jason Biggs are back for another round of Couples Counseling with Chelsea.  They cover a moment in time when Jenny was obsessed with Jason’s ex-girlfriend, who gets to tell your story, and being competitive with your spouse.       * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you want a shortcut to the best version of you? Here it is. Feed the good wolf. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. Every week, I talk to brilliant minds and brave souls about the art of small, powerful choices. Our listeners say it all. This is a lifeline.

Transformational. The best antidote to a bad mood I've ever heard. Join the pack and start feeding your best self. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right.

I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander and I'm Peter Tilden and together our mission on the really no really

podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor what's in the museum of failure and does your dog truly love you we have the answer go to really no really.com and register to win 500 a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign Jason bobblehead. The really no really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships

and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow the Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. You're listening to a new segment of Dear Chelsea called Couples Counseling with Chelsea, where we do couples counseling on all sorts of variations of friends, lovers, families. I'm here with my friends, Jenny Mullen and Jason Biggs, and we are going to do

some couples counseling. Welcome to my office. Okay, guys, on our last session together, I think we've made a lot of progress. On our last session together- I feel healed. I want to address the ex-girlfriend factor. And I would like to recap that because that I think required a lot of patience and acceptance, I think, from Jason because he could have really been like, this woman is unstable. You know what I mean? This woman's crazy or any of the things you could attribute to somebody who would be that

interested in his ex-girlfriend. Yes. So we were on a vacation. We talked about this on your podcast when we went on a vacation together, French Polynesia scuba diving trip. And you brought Jason's ex-girlfriend's caftan and you wore it. I think I even wore it at one point. I think you had it on too.

I think someone urinated on it. I'm not sure what happened to that caftan. Someone got urinated on and something got urinated on on that trip. Now let's talk about Jason. How did that, when you found out Jenny was obsessed with your ex-girlfriend, how did that make you feel? Like, did you think, whoa, whoa, whoa, this might be problematic? Or you already were so head over heels with her that you thought, this is adorable.

Not the latter. Not the latter. Adorable kills me, Chelsea. But there was a sense of, I think it actually was sort of somewhere in the middle insofar as definitely struck me as weird and uncomfortable. Can you just kind of recap when it came about briefly? Oh my God, it's so blurry. I can just give you a broad stroke on it

okay yeah i mean the the thing that i'll get into is that it it wasn't just once and and so my feelings changed over time when i when i thought it when we was like okay this needs to be done i don't like it and then it happened again that's where it like okay it's no longer adorable i get that you're a story seeker i get that you're anything goes, Jenny. You're wild and crazy. You're funny. You're hilarious, impulsive. All the things that I do find attractive about her to an extent. And this went too far. The things he used to find attractive about me are now the things he hates about me. That's par for the course. That's what happens in every relationship. And it's not entirely true, baby. I still love you for those things. There just needs to be, when I felt like I wasn't being heard,

it was like, okay, this was cute. This is funny. It's crazy. Yes. But like, okay, now we move on, right? Now we're done. And then when I learned that not just once, but not just twice,

but that multiple times it wasn't done. Then you dip into territory where it's like, oh, you're deceiving me. But let me like give people who don't know, like let me just give you quickly. Okay, so basically Jason had dated somebody prior to me that wasn't over him when we got together. And this person was doing things,

making webisodes about Jason breaking up with her, engaging with the family. The sister would cry to me about missing her. My sister. There was all this shit. And I was like, this is fucking fascinating to me. Like, who is this girl? You're making me love her.

Like, I want to know everything. And it was all these weird fucking facts. It was like, you know, I'm not going to like expose things, whatever, right now. Because of the couple's therapy, I've agreed to not really talk about her. But like, it'd be like things that just were incongruous to like what I did know. You know, it's like she traveled and was like a Sherpa for a while. And then she did this, you know,

it was like she went to law school, like all these random things. She was married. She wasn't. And so it became like the most the Dos Equis man. She was like the most interesting person in the world. I'm like, this is fucking crazy. And she's still in love with Jason. And now she was like commenting on my IMDb. So for me, I was like, oh my God, I'm with this famous guy. I'm invisible. I'm 28 years old. I feel so cute. And like, I'm fucking invisible everywhere I go because people are like, can you hold my baby while I take a picture with Jason Biggs? And I have one fan in the world and it's the Drostekis guy. So I'm like, fuck, I want to make myself like perfect for her. I want to know everything about her. I want to curate my online profile so that she's obsessed as obsessed with me and stays obsessed with me. But like when Jason and

I kept dating and she sort of moved on, I was like, wait, we need her back. Like I need my fan back. So that's when I, the table flipped and I started stalking her. Does that make sense to anybody? No, it doesn't. But the stalking went on for some period, right? Of time. And then it became problematic for Jason because you were lying to him about,

didn't you arrange to meet her and see her? Yeah, like I was hiking Runyon Canyon with her behind Jason's back. I was re-gifting her things of hers that I'd find around the house, like as a way to like lure her into like a real life friendship. I might've set her up on a date with my acting coach

and then gone on the date with them. A lot of things happened. Right. But you know how it ended. No, I think you should tell us how it ended. So like, it was, I mean, because she was my Moby Dick and I was Ahab and guess where it ended?

Main Street in Nantucket. Like is, that's, this shit writes itself. Like how can I not as a writer like i am in fucking main i'm on main street in nantucket on those cobblestone streets i'm ahab she is fucking moby and we are face to face it is like made for and what happened then memoir like sitting in my lap a giant giant grapefruit. And this was after how much time of spending with her? Like years. This was over the course of, I would say, eight years. But this was, you had ended, but it had ended.

It had ended, but it was just such a, the coup de grace, it was just fucking phenomenal. It had ended, but you hadn't stopped writing about her. She was still a subject for your books and stories. Well, did she understand she was a subject of your books or she didn't make the connection? I told her. I said, listen, this isn't real. I just like, it's such great fodder.

And like, it's so fucking funny and random. And to be honest, the reason I leaned so hard into it is because of the reaction I was getting online my twitter personality or like persona became that of like this crazy wife who's obsessed with her husband's ex-girlfriend unfortunately all of Jason's ex-girlfriends thought I was talking about them so now I've burnt a lot of bridges on accident I was friends with we were friends with many of them and now they don't speak to us because they all thought I was talking about that. Which I wasn't.

Because she would tweet about it. It wasn't just like her memoirs. There was regular tweets about like, oh, Jason's actually da-da-da-da. But Chelsea, you know like when you write a joke, it's like it's not necessarily real. You're just fucking, it can be. It can be based on something. It can be based on something a friend did. It's just a fucking joke. It could be based on something a friend did. It's just a fucking joke.

It's not real. But unfortunately for me, a lot of people took it at face value. So do you feel, well, first of all, what happened on Main Street in Nantucket? What was the interaction? She didn't speak to me. Oh, she didn't? She spoke to Jason. My son ran straight into her.

Arms, into her arms and said, mommy. Did you say hello? I spoke to her sister. I smiled. I must think you are so unstable. The parents were there. It was so bad. It was so bad. It was so bad.

And now my sister and her sister are like really good friends and they go to the same school and it's a whole thing. Oh, right. Yes, yes, yes. I heard that. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt.

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No, Really? And you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, guys. I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a

chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories their journeys and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together you know that rush of endorphins you feel after a great workout well that's when the real magic happens so if you love hearing real inspiring stories from the people you know follow and admire join me every week for Post Run High. It's where we take the conversation beyond the run and get into the heart of it all. It's lighthearted, pretty crazy, and very fun. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro, host of the hit podcast, Family Secrets. How would you feel if when you met your biological father for the first time, he didn't even say hello? And how

would you feel if your doctor advised you to keep your life-altering medical procedure a secret from everyone? And what if your past itself was a secret and the time had suddenly come to share that past with your child? These are just a few of the powerful and profound questions we'll be asking on our 11th season of Family Secrets. Some of you have been with us since season one and others are just tuning in. Whatever the case, and wherever you are, thank you for being part of our Family Secrets family, where every week we explore the secrets that are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others, and the secrets we keep from ourselves. Listen to season 11 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So now, what have you learned from that lesson, if anything? Have you?

Was it a lesson? No, so I wrote her like a crazy, because I- It's almost like you could never, ever even, not that you would have an affair, but like, oh, it's so scary. Oh my God, well, I would find that girl and I would need to sleep with her and make her love me more than Jason

because I'm not competitive. That's what would happen. But no, I've written her several amends letters. And I'm just like, listen, I'm not competitive. That's what would happen. But no, I've written her several amends letters. And I'm just like, listen, I am so sorry. Like the woman that the girl that I was is not the woman I became. I'm so sorry. I did like I let myself just get so seduced by the story of it. And I just didn't want to stop because I was addicted to the plot. You know, I wanted more. It's so interesting because I'm hearing this, I'm listening to this and I'm thinking about my own personal experience with exes, you know, from like a young age to my reaction to exes as to when I'm older. And like

now in my present day moment, like I don't want to know anything about exes. I don't care. I'm not interested. I don't even want to, the less information, the better. I don't want to be thinking about them. But I do remember like dating someone when I was in my twenties. And when he went to England for a week, I went through everything in his apartment, every photo album, every piece of paper, just to find his past that he had before he met me. So there was no reason for me to have any sense of feelings of invidiousness or, you know, any of that. But I remember he came home from that trip to England and I was in a rage that he had even had a past,

that he had met a girl before we dated. Like, what was he thinking dating someone who was pretty before he met me? You know, like so irrational and so unreasonable. And his reaction to my behavior made me realize I could never do that. Oh, I remember this. I know. I know exactly. My British boyfriend when I was like young, young. Yeah. Yeah. But I remember being like, you know, just the overwhelming need for more information.

Like I need more. I need more. I'm going to look and find everything. And it's like, and it's so irrational, right? Like it's so irrational that I was like, oh, once I saw his reaction, I was like, I can't do that if I want him to stay with me. Well, it's the, yeah. And it's the need. Mine wasn't jealousy. It was like, I want to. But there is a need. I feel like there's some overlap perhaps. I don't know. There's that thing you're describing, which feels like that sort of youthful naivete and thinking that everything needs to be about you. And how could, particularly when it comes to romance and love, like how could you possibly, if there's any sort of indication that you ever had anything else going on, like it takes away from what I have with you. I loved that Jason had other things before me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to know all of them. Yeah, that was probably a turn on for you and your sick brain. My sick brain. But I feel like you're not able to see that there can be different things that can coexist at the same time. He can be in love with you,

but he could also have loved someone else in the past. He could be in love with you, but he could also go to England for weeks at a time. But now you're giving Chelsea therapy. Okay, so what I'll say about that though, it's the idea that the story becomes one or the other person. Like it belongs to one person or the other.

Forget about, oh, it was my ex. It becomes like it's her story now. And then it's less about- I pirated his life and his story. And that's where, and we still get into this to this day, not about her necessarily, but more about like whose story is this? You know what I mean?

Like even, you know, her getting stuff done, you know, a couple of weeks ago, it was like, I had some feelings about it. Stuff done. What was that? The surgery. My boobs lifted. Her boobs and stuff.

Stuff done. I had feelings about it. Not about whether or not she should do it necessarily, but just in terms of like. Whether I should share it. About her sharing it, about how it affects our kids. Just there's, I had other stuff and it was, we got into it because Jenny's like, this is my story.

This is my story. I'm choosing to do this. It's my body, my story. Fuck you. All the thing. And I get that. I totally understand the impulse for it to be like, get your fucking opinion out of my face here.

This is what I'm doing. And it's my Instagram. And I'm choosing my body, my choice. Right. But but and so we had a whole therapy session about this where, you know, it was interesting because the therapist asked Jenny how it went and then very quickly after said, and Jason, how do you feel about this? And I was like, thank you for asking. I actually do have some feelings and Jenny was like what the fuck like this is my thing and so that's where we will butt heads sometimes and it's like no we can

have feelings I can do something that I feel is mine you know but I have to remember that Jenny can have a reaction to it she can can have feelings about it. And that doesn't take away from my feelings about it. We just need to be respectful and understand that we can each have feelings about it. Even something that is ostensibly very personal and very like, this is my shit. Fuck you for having a feeling about it. And that's where we get in trouble. That's where the competitiveness happens more than any other place. But I would say just to pat us on the back, we are the best in terms of Jason's sobriety. That's the one place like I've never been like, I have feelings about this. I want to talk about this. Like I'm not for being so codependent. I'm in no way enmeshed in his sobriety, whether he's

sober or not sober or when he was getting sober. That was really, that has been Jason's journey entirely. That's very true. That is true. That is true. That's interesting that you bring that up because I agree with that.

Like you never have been like that. No, I was never like, were you drinking? Or should you drink? Should you not? I don't know why. I can't tell you why, but for whatever reason.

You didn't seem to care about whether or not like if he was gonna deal with the problem yeah yeah he was gonna deal with it and if he was gonna drink you were kind of fine with that too I was like this is your journey it's not my journey no you should absolutely pat yourself on the back that is totally well I don't know I don't think I should pat myself on the back because honestly like it wasn't like I tried to do that it's just right for whatever reason we don, that's not been a struggle for us. That particular issue. I also think the fact that you weren't aware of it.

But once you told me, I mean. Right, but even that, in other words, you weren't invested in me getting sober to begin with because my alcoholism, my non-sobriety. But I could be invested in you staying sober. Totally, but you're not even a little bit. I think you are in a healthy place about it. Like you should be.

I think you should be. I'd be upset if you weren't. I don't like worry about you the way that I feel like a lot of people who are with a sober person maybe like are concerned, you know? I don't see people pouring drinks and be like, oh God, is he going to have a drink? You know, is somebody going to offer him a drink? I don't know why. Yeah, right. No, I hear you. OK, well, on that note, I think this concludes our session. I mean, I think you guys should. Do you have some parting

words for couples out there or people that are looking for long term relationships? What would you say if you had to give a piece of advice to people that were embarking on marriage, what would your one piece of advice be for each of you? Don't do it. I would say, honestly, to be able to listen, you know, to really listen and not hear what that person's saying as about you or a criticism view. When somebody's talking, they're talking about themselves. They're not talking about you.

And it is so hard to keep your ego and yourself out of it. But I think the biggest gift you can give somebody is to just listen to them and not personalize it. Even when they're telling you you're a piece of shit. It's still about them. It's still about them. It's still always about them. That's good advice.

And that's an unactualized person who's usually doing that. Yes. And they're telling you, I feel like shit. I feel hopeless, helpless, and out of control. And scared. And scared. Or insecure or unsure of the relationship. Exactly.

Low self-esteem. Okay. Yes. Well, I think in celebration of this time together, you guys should either do anal tonight. Yes. Or do it this afternoon. How about right now? I don't think this is an appropriate place for that.

Why? There's no pillows. Right? It will make you feel like you're at home. I know. This could be fun for you. I'll fuck it. Thank you guys for being here. Thanks for sharing. Thank you, Chelsea. Okay, so you can check out Jenny Mullen's sub stack, The Best Friend Experience, and her new side hustle, The Shirts Off My Back, where you can buy fabulous vintage clothes. And you can also check out Jenny and Jason co-hosting Dinner and a Movie on TBS. Okay, so upcoming shows that I have, you guys, I will be all over Maine, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston, South Carolina. I'm coming

to Texas. I'm coming to St. Louis and Kansas City. And then I will be in Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. My first three dates in Vegas are September 1st, Labor Day weekend, and then November 2nd and November 30th. I'm coming to Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November 8th. And I have tickets on sale throughout the end of the year in December. So if you're in a city like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans or Omaha, check ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. Okay. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com

and be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. if you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got,

and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you want a shortcut to the best version of you? Here it is. Feed the good wolf. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. Every week, I talk to brilliant minds and brave souls about the art of small, powerful choices. Our listeners say it all. This is a lifeline.

Transformational. The best antidote to a bad mood I've ever heard. Join the pack and start feeding your best self. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like

why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor. What's in the museum of failure and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions,

the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love.

That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions

that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that'll resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections.

Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.