Dear Chelsea - Minisode: I’m Not Here to Tear Up Love with Yamaneika Saunders

Episode Date: June 27, 2025

Yamaneika joins Chelsea to discuss some sneakers that need to be retired.  Then: A girlfriend’s support for her boyfriend begins to waver.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. So what happened at Chappaquiddick? Well, it really depends on who you talk to. There are many versions of what happened in 1969 when a young Ted Kennedy drove a car into a pond. And left a woman behind to drown. Chappaquiddick is a story of a tragic death and how the Kennedy machine took control.

Every week we go behind the headlines and beyond the drama of America's royal family. Listen to United States of Kennedy's on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Bob Crawford, host of American History Hotline, a different type of podcast. You, the listener, ask the questions.

Did George Washington really cut down a cherry tree? Were JFK and Marilyn Monroe having an affair? And I find the answers. I'm so glad you asked me this question. This is such a ridiculous story. You can listen to American History Hotline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

On the You vs. You podcast, we welcome Polo Molina, music manager to the stars. From Will.i.am and the Black Eyed Peas, Ty Dolla $y, YG and Fergie. Here's a sneak peek. Are you so hard on yourself? That's the way I was raised. And the people that were hard on me are not here no more,

so I'm hard on myself. You know, make me cry. Listen to You Versus You on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just like great shoes, great books take you places. Through unforgettable love stories, and into conversations with characters you'll never forget. I think any good romance,

it gives me this feeling of like butterflies. I'm Danielle Robay, and this is Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club, the new podcast from Hello Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts, where we dive into the stories that shape us, on the page and off. Each week, I'm joined by authors, celebs, book talk stars, and more for conversations that will make you laugh, cry, and add way too many books to your TBR pile. Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, we're back with a mini-sode and my special guest is Yamanika Saunders. She's here today. Still teeth? Lipstick? The lipstick is not on your teeth today. Where is Yamanika Saunders. She's here today. Still teeth? Lipstick? The lipstick is not on your teeth today. Where is it? It's gone now. Oh God.

It's gone, so you ate it. Catherine, what's happening? Hi, Chelsea. Well, we have a quick update from a previous caller. This is from Dolly. She had called in on our Christina Ricci episode. Her brother and sister-in-law were fighting a lot. It was sort of affecting their kids,

so she was wondering how to support her niece and nephew. So she says, hi there. Since being on the show with Chelsea and Christina Ricci, my husband and I have made active strides to not interlope with my sister-in-law and her husband's relationship woes and distanced ourself from being in the center of their ongoing tension. As far as their relationship,

there hasn't been much improvement. But on a positive note, as Chelsea recommended, my husband and I have been spending more time with our niece and nephew and building a stronger relationship with them. Thank you, Chelsea, for the reminder that it's their relationship and I should worry only about what I can control. Dolly. Wow, that's good.

Isn't that great? That's good. I love that. I love that. And reaching out to these kids is like so great. Yeah, reaching out because kids are so, you know, she's you've got nieces and nephews. Yeah. You know how important it is to connect with them and make sure they have a safe haven in you.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. She was watching her in-laws or her sister, what was it, like have bad, bad relationship. Yeah, her sister and brother-in-law. Yeah. Like really fight with each other and fight in front of the kids, really inappropriate. And it's like she was trying to like get involved.

And I'm like, you can't get involved in that. All you can do is really show up with your children, with their children, and just like, build a relationship with them, so that they have a safe place to go, and safe people to talk to. But I feel like, that's pretty much the biggest contribution you can make.

If you can impact children's lives in a positive way, I feel like that is very purposeful. Yeah, I just don't, all this arguing in front of children is like crazy to me. Did you grow up with parents that argued at all? We were just a fussy family, but we were more like funny, fussy, funny. Nobody took anything serious. I felt very loved. I had growing up problems like everybody else, but I felt very loved.

I'm very grateful for my family. But to come from a family that had foster children, my grandparents took in foster kids and seeing children coming from abusive situations and situations where they're uncomfortable and realizing how blessed I was that I didn't have to go home and worry about, is there gonna be somebody who's gonna beat me to death

or do something? You know what I mean? Like the way we don't protect little human beings that we bring into the world is insane. On a separate note, I just want to point out that you're wearing a separate, you're wearing a pair of sneakers today that look like they're actually your size.

Because when I was out with you last night, there were, you wear these boat sneakers that are, they seem like they're a few sizes too big. And I know we were giving you some grief about it last night. I think we should retire those sneakers. I think... No, but they're also very comfortable. They're a part of me.

That at some point I will. I will retire them. I will. Yeah. Maybe when you come to Europe, maybe I'll go into your suitcase and maybe I'll retire them for you. Yeah, if I bring those shoes...

To Europe? I'm not going to bring any Nauticas to Europe, honey. I'm not trash. They're not... So what happened at Chappaquiddick? Well, it really depends on who you talk to. There are many versions of what happened in 1969 when a young Ted Kennedy drove a car into a pond. And left a woman behind to drown.

There's a famous headline, I think, in the New York Daily News. It's, Teddy escapes, Lon drowns. And in a strange way, right, that sort of tells you. The story really became about Ted's political future, Ted's political hopes. Will Ted become president? Chappaquiddick is a story of a tragic death and how the Kennedy machine took control. And he's not the only Kennedy to survive a scandal. The Kennedys have lived through disgrace, affairs, violence, you name it.

So is there a curse? Every week we go behind the headlines and beyond the drama of America's royal family. Listen to United States of Kennedy on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. American history is full of wise people. Well, women said something like, you know, 99.99% of war is diarrhea and 1% is glory. Those founding fathers were gossipy AF and they loved to cut each other down. I'm Bob Crawford, host of American History Hotline, the show where you send us your questions

about American history and I find the answers, including the nuggets of wisdom our history has to offer. Hamilton pauses and then he says, the greatest man that ever lived was Julius Caesar. And Jefferson writes in his diary, this proves that Hamilton is for a dictator based on corruption. My favorite line was what Neil Armstrong said, it would have been harder to fake it than to do it. Listen to American history hotline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Don't miss the You vs. You podcast.

Join Lex Borrero every week as he sits down with some of the biggest names in entertainment to talk about the real stuff, the struggles, the doubts, and the breakthroughs that made them who they are. They go deep, covering childhood trauma, family, overcoming loss, and the moments that shape their journey. These honest conversations are meant to take the cape off our heroes with the hope that their humanity inspires you to become a better you and therefore set you free to live the life of your dreams.

Here's a sneak peek. I'm trained to go compete. I'm trained to be like harder. but sometimes that mentality stops you from stopping and smelling the flowers in your own garden. Is it wrong to want more? We migrated, our family migrated here. I'm like second generation. Listen to You Versus You as part of My Kultura podcast network, available on the iHeart radio

app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just like great shoes, great books take you places. Through unforgettable love stories, and into conversations with characters you'll never forget. I think any good romance, it gives me this feeling of like, butterflies. I'm Danielle Robay, and this is Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club, the new podcast from Hello Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts. Every week I sit down with your favorite book lovers,

authors, celebrities, book talkers, and more to explore the stories that shape us on the page and off. I've been reading every Reese's Book Club pick, deep diving book talk theories, and obsessing over book to screen casts for years. And now I get to talk to the people making the magic. So if you've ever fallen in love with a fictional character, or cried at the last chapter, or passed a book to a friend saying, you have to read this, this podcast is for you.

Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, what do we have next, Catherine? So Claudia is 33, she's in Miami. She says, Dear Chelsea, my boyfriend and I have been together for about three years now. We live together both in our 30s,

and I'm confident in saying that we're in this for the long haul. My predicament is that he's very unhappy with his job, and I don't know the best way to be supportive anymore. He's applied to hundreds of other positions, but doesn't ever seem to make it past the interview phase. He gets defeated, frustrated, and I struggle with knowing how to help him. All I want is for him to be happy, or at least neutral at this point, with his job, but it

doesn't seem like he's taking the best steps or initiative to get there. He won't let me read his resume or cover letter for advice, and when I try to connect him with people, he shoots me down. He's an incredible writer and artist, and I've encouraged him to go to grad school as a different option to pursue, but he's stuck and won't make the jump. He's had episodes of depression in the past, and I fear that these career struggles might take him down that road again. We're in different industries, so I don't exactly know

what resources to point him to, but I encourage him to keep applying and not lose faith. The last thing I want is to be a nag, and I know he really needs to be the one to lift himself up and tackle this on his own, but it's difficult to watch the person you love get pushed down so many times. I think I've hit a wall, and I just need

an outside perspective on this. Claudia. Hi, Claudia. Hi, nice to see you both. Hi, thank you. This is Yamanika. Hi, Claudia. I want to say, you know, I was snickering at the top of it because my God, you know,

you were me. You were me. I remember being you, right? You're young. That's some young shit. You doing all, what is this, an episode of Lean On Me? What the fuck are you building this dude up like? Fuck that.

And you in your 30s, you still young bitch, and you sitting here grazing, and motherfucker that's already supposed to be raised, he's got to go. You know what you want in life. I'm telling you, don't waste your fucking time. He's gotta go. No, he gotta go. Who are you fucking? You know what? Because she loves him. I'm telling you, don't waste your fucking time. He's gotta go. No, he gotta go.

Who are you fucking? You're all- Because she loves him. I get it, but all of this adjusting that she's doing to try to reach a motherfucker is a waste of time, Chelsea. And in the 40s and up, we can tell you, because we've been there. That's why I'm giggling at you.

You was the bitch I was. Please stop being this bitch as soon as possible. Let's have a realistic conversation about how you feel. That's very realistic. No, I know, I was. Please stop being this bitch as soon as possible. Let's have a realistic conversation about how you feel. That's very realistic. I know, I know. You said your piece and now I want to talk. So where are you at with how tolerant you are willing to be for this period or duration of time where he's kind of listless and depressed? Where are you on your relationship journey spectrum? Well, I'm not like up to here. I'm still very supportive and it's not like he's a deadbeat either.

I'm not like paying his bills or anything. He's still contributing financially. So until that changes, then I'm fine to keep supporting him. Okay, so see, those are her parameters. So she's not, you have to experience these things before you get to a place where you know this. Let me, look, we're right. Okay, so Chelsea is coming from that angle.

I'm coming here to contribute something completely different and from a different angle. That's why it's not another Chelsea sitting here. I'm sitting here. I appreciate that. What I'm telling you is, I love that you are doing that, right? And I understand everybody has parameters. I'm telling you is, I love that you are doing that, right? And I understand everybody has parameters.

I'm not heartless. What I am telling you is somebody who's just like that, what more can I do? You're trying to resource so that you can be resource for him. Is he putting this kind of effort into his own self to get out of these pity party situations? You understand? And it only gets worse over time. That's something that he has to work on with himself. Because when things knocking you down,

you're not motivated to move forward over time, life is going to do nothing but kick your ass. And if you're not able to overcome from that, you're going to want to bitter and stuck. I know I have friends like that every day. I ask the Lord, please help me not to be bitter and stuck. It's easy. I do the same thing.

I always wake up and say, please, I pray, let me not be a cunt today. You know, like I have that. I have that thing too. And let me not be a cunt to other people. Like he's obviously wrapped and like very self-involved in this period of time that he's in. And whether he's depressed

or he's gonna be depressed or whatever, there really is only so much you can do to help somebody, to help lift somebody up if they're not willing to lift themselves up. You giving him resources and putting him in touch with people and him kind of not responding to that doesn't show initiative and doesn't show ambition or a want for change.

It almost is like there are certain people that like to be in this kind of negative space, that's their oxygen. Where they like to be a victim, where they like to everything, nothing goes right for me, and it's the same old song and dance. So I think Yamanika, what she said is poignant

because when you get to be older, you'll realize like you don don't really want to put this much effort into him, but I totally respect the fact that you still love him and you still have more tolerance for his situation and to help him. But I would really start focusing on yourself. Since you can't pick him up out of this situation, how can you make your life more meaningful for you?

So you have a space to kind of exit when he's in that space. You know what I mean? That you can go and do things for yourself, that you have your own group of friends, and that you have your own community of whatever it is. And do you have those things? Do you feel like you have your own life sets? What makes it interesting is I'm also trying to to pivot careers and I got into grad school, like I'm a year into grad school to try and make that transition. So if my words don't mean crap, then at least it's like my example, my action, hopefully would inspire him in some way.

But I also don't want to be like, hey, look at me. Like I got my shit together because I really don't. I'm being like, hey, look at you. I'm like, oh, the woman in the relationship is making moves and doing shit to better herself, and the man is fucking wallowing? Shocker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The thing is, you're gonna lose your patience for it.

That's the thing that we're just, we're both in agreement on. You're gonna lose your patience for it, because it's not hot. And nobody just gets to be in a bad mood for a long period of time. Like, there's to be steps taken. And while you're demonstrating actually what it looks like to change your life and take it into your own hands, he might get the message or he might not.

He might get it in five years or he might never get it. You know, I don't know. But I would really make sure that you double down on yourself, whatever you're doing for yourself and what your goals are, make sure that you double down on yourself, whatever you're doing for yourself and what your goals are. Make sure that you double down on your determination and making your life as good as it can be and see where the relationship goes. Maybe you'll have some sort of miracle and he will have an awakening.

It happens to people. I just think women are much more reliable on men in the emotional department. In terms of like hearing news, making changes, making adjustments, we're more reliable. And I'm not that, I'm not, don't look at that girl in the mirror. I am about that, look at that girl in the mirror.

So what, women are always expected to like, don't act like you have this over a man and don't do this and da da da da da. So when you getting, you know how hard that is to get into a graduate school and shit like that? And you trying to make a pivot and do things like that and you can't applaud yourself and he can't be next to you and go, yeah, that's my chick. She did that.

You know what I'm saying? We always expected as women to make an adjustment so that a man's ego is in crush. You keep being who the fuck you need to be. And then if you have to dip, go dip for a dude that's not going to feel some kind of way about you having your star because he got his own star. Yeah. Maybe he is actually jealous of you too. Who knows?

Yeah, I hope not. I hope not too. Yeah. I think it did inspire him in a way. Like he's been applying. It's just that he's like in a neutral and I want him to like rev up the gear and like go into turbo, but he's not.

I feel like you're probably being very sweet and understanding and nice. And like, what do you gals think? I feel like she needs to come in with a little more of Yamanica's energy of like, okay, it's time to stop following, like, let's get shit done. I think so.

Like push it. I mean, also remember, I ain't got no man. I ain't got no man. So you can rev in what you want and you don't have no man. And I've got a lot of men, so I just want to say that. No, but, and also, and to be fair, right, to your boyfriend, we are hearing your side, we know what I'm saying, but from the common sense things that I know in life,

it's not so much about this overall relationship as much as it is about Chelsea's telling you, if somebody's oxygen is negativity and that's not what you breathe, you're gonna suffocate. That's what she just said. So you need to see if you guys are on the same planet with each other, you know, maybe he's really from Mars and you're from Venus.

That's a good point. So I'm sorry, I mean, this isn't, you know, the greatest news, but you know, like, it's not uplifting you in any way, but we just want to give you like honest female guidance. No, and I appreciate that so much. This is like, you know, the cold bucket of water that maybe I needed on my face.

And I have to say, I saw you both perform in Hollywood, Florida. So I'm so happy that I get to see you today. That was like an amazing show. I went by myself and it was like... Oh, look at you. Okay, that's what I'm talking about. I like your style.

And I think it was, listen, I'm gonna say this, I think it was, it's fine. I don't expect you to turn around and just leave him. That wasn't the conversation I was having. I think we were having enough conversation for you to say whatever you decide, here are the certain red flags that you need to start looking for. If negativity is his oxygen and if he's not trying to grow then when it's time for you to adios up out of there, we've given you a track, but if you want to go in and see what you can do and maybe change things around, my blessing's to doing that.

I'm not here to tear up love. Famous last words from Yamanica. I'm not here to tear up love. Okay, that would be the name of this episode. She's the hopeless romantic, I can tell. Okay, well, good luck out there. Let us know what happens. If you have any big updates, let us know, okay? Thank you both so much, I appreciate it.

Yeah, thank you. Bye. She received that well. I mean, you were screaming at her, so yeah. No, no, no, I like... When I was... Because I was that girl, right? Like, everything, when it came to a guy,

it's like what can I do better? What am I not supporting him in? Is there a way, and we always read these little Cosmo magazines and shit, 10 ways to be the bitch of his dream, 19 ways to not get on his nerve, 11 ways to whisper in the sun. And it's like all this shit we gotta do

as a woman to try to make a man okay, and it's like is he ever concerning himself do as a woman to try to make a man okay. And it's like, is he ever concerned in himself with how he makes us feel at all? Because nobody's really asking him, like what do you think the things you could do as a man to make your woman? I think it should be reciprocity in this, I make you feel good, you make me feel good.

Okay, and thank you for listening to our mini-show today with Yamanica. Special guest by Yamanica. The next one, I'm going to be completely silent. Okay. And serious. Okay, bye. And you can find Yamanica on Instagram at Yamanica.

So, I added a couple of new dates. I'm not on tour yet, but I added a couple of dates just because I felt like we need a little bit more laughter and a little bit more medicine for the end of the year. And I was wrapping things up, but I thought maybe let me do a couple more So I'm adding three more dates in addition to my Vegas residency. I'm doing West Hampton Beach August 21st I'm headlining the Rochester Fringe Comedy Festival September 13th, and I will be in Napa on October 3rd, so those will be my last dates of the year. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com.

Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. of producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. So what happened to Chappaquiddick? Well, it really depends on who you talk to. There are many versions of what happened in 1969 when a young Ted Kennedy drove a car into a pond. And left a woman behind to drown. Chappaquiddick is a story of a tragic death

and how the Kennedy machine took control. Every week we go behind the headlines and beyond the drama of America's royal family. Listen to United States of Kennedy's on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Bob Crawford, host of American History Hotline, a different type of podcast. You the listener, ask the questions.

Did George Washington really cut down on a charity? Were JFK and Marilyn Monroe having an affair? And I find the answers. I'm so glad you asked me this question. This is such a ridiculous story. You can listen to American History Hotline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the You vs You podcast, we welcome Polo Molina, music manager to the stars.

From Will.i.am and the Black Eyed Peas, Ty Dolla $i, YG and Fergie. Here's a sneak peek. Are you so hard on yourself? That's the way I was raised. And the people that were hard on me are not here no more, so I'm hard on myself. You're gonna make me cry. Listen to You Versus You on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just like great shoes, great books take you places. Through unforgettable love stories and into conversations with characters you'll never forget. I think any good romance, it gives me this feeling of like butterflies. I'm Danielle Robay and this is Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club, the new podcast from Hello Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts where we dive into the stories that shape us, on the page and off. Each week, I'm joined by authors, celebs,

book talk stars, and more for conversations that will make you laugh, cry, and add way too many books to your TBR pile. Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart podcast.