Dear Chelsea - Minisode: Lap Time with Chelsea + Catherine

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

Chelsea and Catherine get a long-term update from a polygamist’s sister, and a couple calls in precisely because they have no problems. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How to Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back. Prices, they're still high. And the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right.

Each week, we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on. And the small moves that make a big difference. kick off the year with confidence, listen to How to Money on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This show contains information subject to, but not limited to personal takes, rumors, not so accurate stats, and plenty more. What's up, man? This is your boy, Nav Green from the Broken Play Podcast. Look, it's the end of the season, the playoffs are here. Guess what? It ain't the end of your season. You can always tune in with Broken Play Podcasts with Nav Green on the Black Effect Podcast Network.

Not a team who ain't going to the playoffs. Chee, it's time to rebuild. Listen to Broken Play with Nav Green from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the I Heart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or whatever you get your podcast. Talking to your kids about the dangers of vaping can be hard. Getting them to listen to Hot Gossip is easy. So here's some drama you could share with your kid. Dude, did you hear about Cassie and Jake?

No, but did you hear that vaping can cause irreversible lung damage and nicotine effects brain development? No, uh. You don't need to gossip if you want to have an open, conversation about vaping. So if you want to get tips on when and how to talk to your kids, visit talkaboutvaping.org. Brought to you by the American Lung Association and the Ad Council. You know, we always say New Year, New Me, but real change starts on the inside. It starts with giving your mind and your spirit the same attention you give your goals. Hey everybody, it's Michelle Williams, host of checking in on the Black Effect Podcast Network. And on my podcast,

we talk mental health, healing, growth, and everything you need to step into your next season, whole and empowered. New Year, Real You. Listen to checking in with Michelle Williams from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I'm coming to Washington, D.C., Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus, and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of course. Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Mesa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina. Saratoga, California, Modesto, California. California, and Port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.

I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. Hello, how's Whistler? Whistler is whistling, whistling with snow and rain. It started raining again. The temperatures dropped, but it's snowing at the top. My friends just once. I have a bunch of boys in my house, 18-year-old boys. There's a little youth hostel thing, and one of them just got into a bad ski. He went to the ER from so. Damn.

Hopefully his parents will deal with that. I don't know that I'm brave enough for skiing. Like skiing, I don't think so. I think if you haven't tried it yet, don't try it. My knees are not for it. It's always a little scary to me. I will say I had the best ski day of my life the other day. So it was so much powder, and I was just being able to ski the powder.

It was so fun. and I just, I love it. I love my life here. That's amazing. Now, do you drop in, right? Drop in. Not from the helicopter? No, no, I don't drop in.

I'm not dropping in like that. I'm not going down cliffs and off of like, no, cornices. That's not what I'm doing. I'm skiing well, but I'm not dropping in. That's what Jack is probably doing. The kid that just got hurt, he was dropping in. Okay. All right.

Yeah. No, I'm not at that level and I never will be. Okay. I'm skiing on resort. Let's keep you safe. Let's just keep you safe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We want to keep me safe.

Yes. Well, I have an update from a caller who called in two years ago. This is a real throwback. I know. How many years have we been on the air or whatever? I think it's like five. Five years we've been doing this podcast. Since 2021.

So we're going on five. Wow. Okay, good. So Sammy wrote in on our Esther Perel episode two years ago. And of course, we love a long-term update. So this is great. She was living with her sister and brother-in-law who had a polyamorous situation with a live-in nanny, and she was, like, worried about the kids. So this is what she has to say.

Dear Chelsea, I'm writing to follow up about a discussion we had regarding my polygamous sister and her life choices. I do love it, she says, polygamous, instead of polyamorous. Many things have changed, so buckle up. I finally moved out and moved into a studio apartment less than a mile from the beach, and it's a perfect place for meditation, smoking weed, and no tea. children. I love my sister's kids, but as their teens, I prefer to enjoy them at a distance. My sister and brother-in-law ended up getting divorced after much consideration regarding the polygamy situation. It turns out my brother-in-law didn't know he was going to be excluded from the other party's relationship. He moved out and is now dating someone else. That's a whole different

can of worms. My sister and her girlfriend, on the other hand, are still together, though my sister's girlfriend and I don't always see eye to eye. I do appreciate how much she has stood up since my sister got divorced. She works full-time now and is quite the parent to the kids. And though they also go head to head every once in a while, they truly love her and appreciate the parental figure. My sister and I are still working on our relationship as both friends and sisters, as it took a hard hit during the past few years. I wanted to thank you ladies for talking some sense into me and making me realize that other people's problems are not my own and I don't need to take them on. Keep doing what you're doing. Love always Sammy. P.S., my sister found the podcast

and lost her shit when she heard it was about. her. She got over it. Welcome to my life. I constantly, I constantly do interviews where I talk about like boyfriends or family members and then just think it won't get back to them. And even, it doesn't matter how many years of proof I have that it will. Yeah. I like when people hear the podcast and then it's about them. They're like, wait, what the fuck? Wait a minute. Wait a second. Or it's like people will write in. They're like, I didn't think you were going to pick my question. I'm like, well, it's also, that's like, it is, I mean, there really is no truer sentiment. Other people's are not your own. Like, we should all be telling, that should be something we wake up and say to

ourselves every single day. Because we can, there are personality types that definitely get involved in other people's problems. I have one of those personality types. And it takes a long time to realize that, A, let people do their thing. Like, you can't control the outcome of other people's lives. You can't even control the outcome of your own life. So, like, or be too attached to the outcome. You know what I mean? Like, you have to be a little bit movable. You can't be so intransigent that you can't change and pivot when you need to. And also to like let other people do their thing. And if you don't like it, then don't be around it. Right. It is that thing about boundaries where like you can't actually set a boundary with someone else. You can only like change

your own behavior like the boundary has to pertain to you essentially. New year, new goals. And in this economy, a better money plan is more necessary than ever. I am Matt and I'm Joel. We are from the how to money podcast. And every week we help you. to spend smarter, save more, and make sense of what's going on out there. If you want 2026 to be the year you finally feel in control of your money, we're here to give you the tools and advice to help you make it happen. Listen to How to Money on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanko Wally.

And I'm Hurricane DeVolu. It's a new year. And on the podcast's health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? We talk to experts who share real experiences and insight. You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and just start doing that.

We break down the topics you want to know more about. Sleep, stress, mental health, and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, inside and out, healthy. We human beings, all we want is connection. We just want to connect with each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Every January, we're encouraged to start over. But what if this year is about slowing down and learning how to understand ourselves more deeply? What if this year is about giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been home? and knowing that it's okay to ask for help. I'm Mike Delarocha, host of Sacred Lessons. This is a podcast for men navigating stress, emotional health, fatherhood, identity, and the unspoken pressures were taught to carry alone. We talk honestly about mental health, about healing generational wounds,

and about learning how to show up with more presence and care. If you want a healthier relationship with yourself and the people you love, then Sacred Lessons is the podcast for you. Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Dolorotcha on America's number one podcast network, IHeart. Follow Sacred Lessons with Mike Delocha and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken?

But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years' experience, helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught to name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got stuff. something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy as in compassion. If you want this to be the year, you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's

underneath, listen to the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. All right. Well, our callers today, we've got a couple's counseling with Chelsea question. Love it. Love it. And Elizabeth and Danny are calling in. So Elizabeth is, the one writing in and she says, Dear Chelsea, I've been a fan of yours for years and have learned so much from your work. I'm 44, a mom of three teenagers, and I attribute a lot of my growth to you. Last year, I left a toxic relationship that brought me to the lowest point in my life. The red flags were always there.

I made excuses, he made excuses, until I no longer recognized myself. I learned that he wasn't who he claimed to be. Still married, unemployed, with no plan to work, manipulative. He tried to pull me and my kids down with him. I'm usually the most positive person in the room, but for a while I was completely drained. Your books and podcast helped me immensely and led me to letting go, which was truly life-changing. I realized I had been attracting people who need constant attention, and I was pouring from an empty cup, giving and giving without receiving. I worked on my energy, learned to love myself,

and for the first time, I felt genuinely content being alone. Because I'm a romantic at heart, and because I took your advice seriously, I wrote down everything I wanted in a partner and then let it go. I promised myself I wouldn't settle. Not even two weeks later, I met a man at a bar who is everything on that list and more. His name is Danny. He sat on the stool next to me with a self-help book. I had letting go. From the start, he's been the opposite of every relationship I've known. Patient, kind to everyone, smart, a little nerdy, funny, and steady. He treats me like a queen and has never given me a reason to question his character or his feelings. The chemistry is incredible and we're intentional about staying connected. We've been together six months.

solely introducing our children. He has two adult daughters. We laugh constantly and have fun doing anything. It feels magical and I can't imagine my life without him. I'm writing for two reasons. First to say thank you. The universe aligned because of the tools you gave me and you've helped Danny too. He's read letting go and we recommend it to everyone. We often listen to your podcast together. Second, we'd love your advice. We know we're in a honeymoon phase, but we both want to protect what we're building. Beyond what we're already doing, honest communication, daily connection, mutual respect, What tools or practices do you recommend to keep a relationship healthy and full of passion over the long haul? Elizabeth.

Hi, guys. That's such a beautiful letter. I'm so happy for you, too. Look at you two little lovebirds sitting on the couch together like that. Probably inside each other. Listen, I would, first of all, enjoy yourself. Enjoy the time and make sure you're making like, I just feel like when we're happy and things are going well, we need to remind ourselves that we're in a great flow. state. And like, you know, I think writing things to each other is really powerful. Like, even if it's,

you know, I don't know, putting something into practice that is only between the two of you, like, thinking of something to say to each other every day or something that you love about each other every day is really sweet. Even writing that to each other at the end of the day, even if you're together in the room, but being like, oh, let's do our thing that we like want to tell each other that we appreciate about the other person or something that turns us on about the other person. I think, like, forming rituals with each other that are new that you've never done with anyone else makes something feel even more special and makes you really appreciate it. Because yes, the honeymoon period, are you guys living together? No. No. When my kids aren't here, we usually are staying together.

And he stayed over a couple of times when you. You guys aren't having premarital sex, are you? Heaven for bed. That's illegal, okay? So just stop doing that right away. But you're not living together. that's a good thing I think. Listen, it's really good to miss each other. So don't ever be scared about that. Don't be scared about separations. A couple of days apart is always kind of a good thing to keep you missing each other. I feel like sometimes like I want the other person to go before I want them to go. You know what I mean? And when you really like someone, you kind of never want them to go. So I think that's a mistake that we could sometimes make. We want, we're like, oh, we want to spend, you know, and yes, you do. But there is an art to being apart to like missing each other for a couple days here and there,

that's nice. It's nice to miss someone and then have them return. So like just don't forget about that. And think of something that you guys can do that's like, can you think of anything off the top of your head that would be like a romantic gesture that you guys kind of do each day to each other, like writing something to each other or is there a lap time situation that is still happening? Tell us about that. We just enjoy at the end of the day just having time where sit down. She sits on my lap. We look at each other. We talk to each other about our days and really, just try to just be connected and listen to each other and hear each other out about how their day was because every day is different. Yeah. We want to communicate like that. Communication is really important. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that sounds like you guys already have your ritual. I don't know if it should be called lap time. It sounds like that's a little like Santa Claus adjacent, but whatever, you know, like do your thing. And I think that's sweet. Yeah. I mean, connecting and communicating and connecting and communication are key. And it's like, it's very nice to be intimate with someone, you know, to have like your

little shorthand and to spend that time like really getting to know each other and really being respectful of the other person. But, you know, don't be afraid of breaks. Don't be afraid of missing each other. I think that enhances things. And I think it prolongs that honeymoon phase. So that's the only advice I would give you guys. I would say other than that, way to go.

I'm glad you're in your good phase now. Yeah. And you got rid of the old shit. And now you're ready for some good shit. Yeah. The only thing I would add to that is, you know, when when things do come up, because eventually they will, whether they're smaller. large things you disagree about, things you're having trouble with, or just not connecting on.

I would say if something's come up three or more times and you're just like not connecting on it or you're disagreeing about it, go like talk to a therapist together. I think couples counseling is like not just when things are going bad, but it's also just like maybe we're not connecting on this. Maybe we disagree about this and we just like need a third party to help us navigate it. It doesn't have to be like end of the world. So definitely utilize this. that when and if it's necessary. Yeah. And preemptive therapy is always good too.

You know, just so you're all on the same page. Like, you know, maybe you won't have any fucking problems. Who knows? I mean, the way things are going for women, it feels like, I mean, listen, there's a lot of bad things happening for women. But we've had a series of calls and people calling in kind of similar stories to years. Like, they just found their person after so many bad relationships. Like, this is a recurring theme.

And so in many ways, it feels to me like women are kind of like learning. like learning the lesson of the like the last time like you don't have to keep repeating bad relationships you can kind of figure it out after the first bad one and be like okay I'm not doing that again and you know and when you change the standards of what you accept then that changes who comes into your life absolutely absolutely one one thing we do it's not couples counseling but we do constellations and that has been really good for us for sure what does that mean it's like um you represents a person that's having the therapy where the energy field kind of flows through that person and kind of gives you a feeling about what you think is going on. And many times you

don't know. It's a group thing where you're helping other people that you represent, you were representing their family members. And it's kind of like a family therapy type. Oh, wow. You just have a feeling. You have a feeling. And then the therapist tries to interpret what that feeling is for the individual with the therapy. So you don't really have any idea what's going on. you're just telling how you feel in the moment physically. And it's all based off of a feeling that you're not even talking about? Yes, it's basically just in the moment, how do you feel, are you feeling or interpreting something in your body that maybe someone in their life has influenced you through this energy field? Okay, okay. I understand what you're saying.

Okay. Yeah, it's very interesting, but it's helped a lot of people out. Yeah, that sounds nice. I like that. There is an episode, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sex, Love, and Goose. on Netflix. What episode is it? Episode number five or something? Yeah, where she like explores it.

Yeah. It's very interesting. The therapist told me to watch that to get the best explanation, but it was good. Thank God for Goop and thank God for Gwyneth. Thank God. Okay, guys. Well, enjoy each other. Thank you.

Happy New Year. Thank you. We're going to see you in April. Yes. How fun. Which show are you coming to? Albuquerque. Okay.

Well, I'll see you there. Awesome. I love it. Thanks, guys. Yeah. Bye. Take care. Well, that was very sweet.

Yeah, that was sweet. Nice. Happy couples. Happy couples. Keeping families and couples together. Yeah. Do you think the reason that we're seeing this sort of influx of women who are actually in happy relationships is just because they're not going to put up with less? Like women as a whole.

Yeah. Women are putting up with less bullshit. I like that. Younger girls are like that too. Like all these young girls are like, I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want a boyfriend. My friend's daughters are like, we don't want boyfriends. I mean, you know, some of them have them, but some of them don't.

Like I think it really, I also think when you grow up. up in a really loving household, you don't feel the need to have to pair up. I feel like that need to pair up sometimes is derived from a lack of love in your own household. I mean, I'm not saying anything that's, you know, that original, obviously. But, you know, the desire always to partnership and that usually comes from feeling like not seen. Yeah, like you're not enough without a second person. Yeah. Like you need and you don't need. You need an addition, not a subtraction. Yeah, for sure. All right.

Well, there we go for our miniso for today. Okay, great. I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour. Do you want advice from Chelsea?

Write into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from HowTo Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back. Prices, they're still high, and the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress.

That's right. Each week, we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on and the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence, listen to How to Money on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This show contains information subject to but not limited to personal takes, rumors, not so accurate stats, and plenty more. What's up, man? This is your boy, Nav Green from the Broken Play podcast. Look, it's the end of the season, the playoffs of here. Guess what? It ain't the end of your season. You can always tune in with Broken Play Podcast with Nav Green on the Black Effect podcast.

Network. Not a team who ain't going to the playoffs. The Chief. It's time to rebuild. Listen to broken play with Nav Green from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the Iheart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or whatever you get your podcast. Talking to your kids about the dangers of vaping can be hard. Getting them to listen to hot gossip is easy. So here's some drama you could share with your kid. Dude, did you hear about Cassie and Jake?

No, but did you hear that vaping can cause irreversible lung damage and nicotine effects brain development? No, uh. You don't need to gossip if you want to have an open conversation about vaping. So if you want to get tips on when and how to talk to your kids, visit talk about vaping.org. Brought to you by the American Lung Association and the Ad Council. You know, we always say New Year, New Me, but real change starts on the inside. It starts with giving your mind and your spirit the same attention you give your goals.

Hey, everybody, it's Michelle Williams, host of checking in on the Black Effect Podcast Network. And on my podcast, we talk mental health, heal. growth and everything you need to step into your next season, whole and empowered. New Year, real you. Listen to checking in with Michelle Williams from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.