Dear Chelsea - Minisode: Secrets in German with Jenny Mollen + Jason Biggs

Episode Date: August 16, 2024

In this minisode, Chelsea is joined by Jenny Mollen and Jason Biggs to tackle the marital conundrums of having a secret language with your kids, why taking out the garbage doesn’t stop at the chute, and stress-packing for a trip.    * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and

conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, WeezyWTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation.

Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. That's what my podcast Post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. you're listening to a new segment of dear chelsea called couples counseling with chelsea where we do couples counseling on all sorts of variations of friends lovers families i'm here with my friends jenny molin and jason biggs and we are going to do some couples counseling welcome to my office okay jason i want to talk to you about your packing and your neurosis. Mm-hmm, sure.

So you guys travel a lot. You travel a lot with the kids. Yes. Which is great. The kids speak German because Jenny speaks German. That's also great. Jason, are you speaking German yet?

Nein. Okay. A little. He understands a lot. It's creepy. You would understand a lot. You guys have been there a lot. Yeah, he understands way too much.

It's no longer the secret thing I had with the boys. Now he understands when we're talking about him. But also the context is still kid conversations. I mean, obviously they are fluent, and so it has gotten more advanced over the years. They can understand pretty much everything. But sometimes I'll say to Sid, like, stop asking him.

Like, I need to go take him aside and bring it up so that it's his idea. Like, stop asking him right now. You know, I'll say that in front to Sid. In German. And Jason will understand. What are you, triangulating your whole family? Thank you.

Well, if Sid wants to get something from you. You're supposed to be a unified front. Thank you. Yes. You, Chelsea, you just touched on one of the most important issues in our relationship. I bet. Sometimes if Sid wants something back from Jason, I'm like, you can't keep bringing it up right now.

I need to talk to daddy. We'll decide if you can have Fortnite first and then we can present it in a different way. Like if you're going to keep asking him right now, you're not going to get a different answer. Yeah, right. And so I will kind of say that to Sid to kind of nudge him like, shut the fuck up right now. You're digging a hole.

Right. Okay. But that means you're all you're digging a hole right okay but that means you're all you're playing both sides you're playing a little his you want to be friends with sid and you want to be the one that he trusts sometimes and then you're turning and then you're making him into the bad guy and i would expect nothing less from you jenny thank you that does not come as a surprise oh my god and God. And yeah, I would watch your back, Jason. If you aren't already watching your back, watch it. Believe me, this comes up in real couples therapy often.

I don't know why you're intimating that this is not real couples therapy. Sorry, sorry. Our other real couples therapy. Okay, thank you. All I have to say is last night, Jason, I'm sorry I'm cutting you off, but you have to hear this because you don't know this. I mean, you might have heard this last night. Well, it probably was covered underneath a bunch of pillows.

He might not hear a thing. Okay. Jason came in because he's like mother hen, like again, neurotic, fixing everything. And he comes in to turn on the air purifier in our room. And Sid... Because I lower it during the day to a low level. And then at night before they go to bed, I knock it up one as white noise slash purification. So Sid was about to go to sleep. And he was literally just like almost out and Jason comes in. Not frantic. It was very quiet. No, he was frustrated. Okay. And Jason's like, well, I'm just turning up the air so that it drowns out all the sound. And he turns to me, he goes, mom, are we okay with this? I did hear him. I died. I did hear him. Did he say that in

English or in German? English. And I died. So, Jason, back to your packing. What do you think is wrong with you? Do you have to pack, what, two weeks in advance? Because otherwise you'll flip your lid if you're not ready to go? Not that far. I've shortened the window, to be sure. But I need to be prepared, certainly, minimum the day before.

I mean, everything needs to be. Because also, it's not just myself that I'm packing. It's the boys. And it's basically repacking Jenny when she's... And by the way, she's not even packing now at this point.

She's kind of given it up and now the nanny packs her. Like smoking. Given it up. But still, if the nanny hasn't packed her... I've given up. I also have given up packing, so I'm with you. I'm sure it's control issue. It's OCD. It's all the things that track for me and my personality,

but it's like I can't... First of all, I need to take advantage of the space and I need to... So it needs to be... The suitcase? The space? It's like military roll. Like rolling. Full roll. And it's very true that you can fit a lot more in your suitcase when you roll up your clothes.

Way, way, way more stuff. Unless it's a sweater. Don't roll your sweaters. That actually takes up more space. What if it's just a ball on the floor? Yes, exactly. You fold your sweaters. That's exactly right.

And sweatshirts. Yeah. Sweatshirts. Otherwise known as sudaderas in Espanol. Now, so that's controlling or OCD, right? Is that OCD? It's a touch of all of that. I think it's control issue.

I think it's OCD. I don't know what else that would fall under. But it's also like there is that mother hen. It's not just about me. There is a sort of need to make sure the family is... Everything needs to go... Like whatever I can control in terms of travel, because so much can go wrong and does go wrong

and is out of your control, that whatever is possibly in my control, I want to make sure it goes smoothly. And so that means- And so that means- Yeah, we'd like to say one more time that Jason is not Jewish. So that means I'm not walking around with a checklist,

but I am in my mind, I've got a checklist. Like are the boys medicines? Kids Tylenol? Kids this? Kids toothbrushes? Are the boys medicated? You know, are they drugged? Yes.

Or traveling? You know, do we... iPhones charged. Everything downloaded. iPhones charged. Are the movies downloaded on their iPads? Are the iPhones charged? Make the best personal assessment.

Because this is also... Seriously. But also, I'll say this. I'll say that not only... And Jenny might have a counterpoint to this, which I'm curious to hear. But I think it's not just that I feel I need to do it because of my own personal impulses and my own personal deficiencies mentally. But I also feel like it's a reaction to the fact that I'm getting no help on this side. There is zero.

Like if I had a partner who was also like... There's not room for two of us. I've actually, like, he's enabled me to become more of a disaster. We don't know that. Do you treat Jason like he's your assistant? We'll never know that because there aren't two of us. Because during the pandemic, he's like, I've never seen you use a broom. I've never seen you do these. I've never seen you load

a dishwasher. And I said to him, when I lived alone, who do you think did all this stuff? But now, when we paired up, it's like he's enabled me to not put a paper towel back on the rack. To not put toilet paper back on. There's not room for two mother hens. You were always looking for someone to offload your packing. Isn't that true? You were always looking for some sort of dynamic, whether it was Jason, your housekeeper, or a nanny, or maybe even your own children.

If someone else could do it for you, if I could delegate things... When I first got Sid from the store, and I had a nanny, I realized, whoa, this is ideal. This is what I've always needed. Yeah, of course.

Before I was with you, I did all these things. Sometimes, yes, before I was with you, I mean, I did all these things. I mean, sometimes, yes, like instead of washing the dishes, I would just throw them away. Exactly. Exactly. Most of the time I had to do it. And you had roommates that took the trash out. No, I lived alone. Jason, I lived alone. All right. She did take the trash out the other night. First time I've ever seen her do it. Where did you take the trash downstairs? No, of course not. No, we have a trash chute in the hallway right across from ours. So you threw it out the window? But hold on. But here's the best. It couldn't be an easier task given our building and the trash chuping across the hall.

Like it is so, so easy. You're really getting on me now. And I come back in the apartment. That's what we're here for. The one thing that I did something great and you're going to talk about. You didn't do it. Well, hold on a second. I think this is funny.

Hold on. You did not do something great. Yeah, exactly. Throwing trash out into a chute is like what I would say to someone if they asked me. well i think this is funny hold on you did not do something great yeah exactly throwing trash out into a shoot is like what i would say to someone if they ask me did you do anything today like you bet i did you fucking bet i did but that's her she's like what do you mean i took out the trash today don't even get on me about this this this and this it's like uh okay anyway but she didn't even complete the task because i came back in. I like had some trash and I go,

I open the trash can and I throw it in the trash. And I realize, I go, there's a fucking bag in the trash. I go, Jenny, you know, when you take the trash out, there is another step in the process. You have to put a new bag in the can. Oh, okay.

She was already lost, gone into space. Something else she was thinking about. Right. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Chilton. okay, she was already lost, gone into space, something else she was thinking about. Right. got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman

reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging.

Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHe it on the I heart radio app on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. What about the cooking at your house? Who's in charge of that? I do a lot of cooking. Yeah,

because you do your dictator lunches. And what about you cook too, though, Jason, don't you? Yeah. Who's who's holding the fort down on that? I usually do the cooking for the kids, and then Jason will do, like, a weekend pasta and roasted chicken. Right, because you can only eat, like, two things, right? Because of your situation? Or have you been able to eat more now? I mean, I don't, yeah, I eat more things, I guess. You love nuts.

But I'm still neurotic. You really just love nuts. I love a fucking nut. Yeah, I've never seen anyone eat nuts. You actually turn into a squirrel when you eat nuts. You love nuts. But I'm still neurotic. You really just love nuts. I love a fucking nut. Yeah, I've never seen anyone eat nuts. You actually turn into a squirrel when you eat nuts. I squirrel out.

Sophie, my friend, also who you guys know, she fucking loves nuts too. What kind of nuts? What's her favorite? Both of you guys have made me so turned off by nuts that I can't even eat them anymore.

It's not even like good nuts, like a roasted peanut. It's like a fucking tiger nut. And then Jenny eats it and she can somehow take like 14 bites out of one peanut. and then and then because this is a whole shell and i open it in my mouth yeah and then yeah and then because this is healthy she'll leave like a half a bite and then put that aside and be like okay that's i didn't eat the whole thing so and then who cleans

up after you guys oh my god are you kidding me kidding me? You do, yeah. This is fucking, this is- That I knew the answer to before I asked it. This is truly, for me- I can't wait for Jason to listen to this back and be like, whoa, I really- Really was hard on her. No, I don't think so. I think he's just exposing you.

You know what? For what we all know to be true. I mean, some people are very good at a certain group of things. I'm with you. I can't do anything. My dog peed in the house the other day, and I waited for someone to arrive. Because I didn't know what.

I was like, these are wood floors. I don't know what to use. Is this just regular? And I was like, you know what? It's better just walk away. Someone's on their way. Back away. Someone's on their way.

Back away slowly. I'm making this worse. My cousin Molly. I will make this worse. Yeah. Molly's like, you know, you can just use paper towel. And I'm like, I don't think that's right. So you're doing all the cleaning.

And then when you guys argue, do you have, is it okay for you to argue in front of the kids? Or do you try to keep it away from the kids? I feel like you guys probably just argue in front of the kids. We bicker in front of the kids. I don like you guys probably just argue in front of the kids. We bicker in front of the kids. I don't know. Do we argue in front of the kids? Sid would be like, oh, my parents are always fighting.

You know, but he has no idea. He's so fucking like privileged. And like, you know, I said to him one night, I was like, I'm putting you in your room and you're going to sleep by yourself. And he screams into the hallway, you would do that to an innocent child? You know, so it's like his version of reality is just so far off, like he doesn't understand. When we bicker even, you know, he'll be like, oh, here they go again.

It's like, you've no idea. But it lands. I mean, I guess it's a good sign because we don't, I mean, the house I grew up in was constant fighting, operatic, loud, always screaming and stuff. So that was the one. And Jenny grew up in a house where they just didn't, they ran, right? Which is also not great. Well, there's always new people. Always new people. Yeah, exactly. They flee and start a new thing. Like there wasn't fighting because they wasn't around long enough to fight, which is also

not healthy. We grew up in the opposite end. The healthy thing is like, yeah, couples that love each other get into disagreements. There is bickering. There are fights sometimes. We do our best. We do. And maybe I can do better. Maybe we can do better. I know I can do better because of the two of us, I will be the one that will get louder quicker for sure. And I have a harder time. Jenny, because of her family of origin, can be like, all right, I'm out. Like, can leave. And just be like, we're not doing this now. Whereas I'm like, what? No, I need resolution. This feels like abandonment.

I can't. I need to fix this. He'll, like, follow me to another room. I'll stay in a fight. Still fighting. I'll stay in a fight, ironically, in the hopes of ending the fight. Whereas Jenny will just leave the fight in the hopes of ending the fight. But that actually triggers me more.

That's part of our many dances that we do, where we do trigger each other. But we do our best to not do it in front of the kids. Jenny, for a long time, even the bickering, because again, she did not grow up with bickering or any type of fighting, was like, we'd be in couples therapy and she'd be like, and he just, we were fighting, screaming in front. And I was like jenny hold on we have done that but the fight you're referring to was literally us just disagreeing if like her definition of what a fight was in front of the kids has changed as her as like she's i believe am i speaking out of turn you've realized like oh yeah this happens this is okay and some of it is okay to happen in front of the kids yeah i think you're right i think that's right like who doesn't have disagreement?

It's scarier if there isn't anything. Well, then yeah, then it's like you're describing your childhood, right? Your family dynamic. But the good thing is, is that Jason has been through so much therapy so that he's a willing participant in actually resolution and conflict,

like dealing with conflict, not conflict avoidant because conflict avoiding doesn't get anybody anywhere. And we'll be back with the story about when Jenny and Jason went scuba diving and she left Jason for dead. You can check out Jenny Mullen's sub stack, the best friend experience and her new side hustle, the shirts off my back where you can buy fabulous vintage clothes. And you can also check out Jenny and Jason co-hosting dinner and a movie on

TBS. doesn't go all the way to the floor? What's in the museum of failure? And does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really No Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor,

vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.