Dear Chelsea - Minisode: Single White Female with Chelsea + Catherine

Episode Date: September 19, 2025

Chelsea and Catherine get a Friends-with-Benefits followup and hear from a mother-daughter-duo who inspire stalkers.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hey, everybody. This is Matt Rogers. And Bowen-Yang. And you're never going to guess who's our guest on Las Culturistas. It is Elle Woods, Tracy Flick, herself. Reese Witherspoon. It must go in a girl's trip.

I have to have a tequila. We must. Oh. Whoever said orange is the new pink. We seriously disturbs. Listen to Los Angeles. culturalistas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jorge Ramos.

And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time, as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians, artists, and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The Moment is a space for the conversations we've been having us, father and daughter, for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos. on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Jude Ice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story.

This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native Culture is alive.

My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. Somewhere along the way, it turned into this full-fledged award-winning comic shop. That's Dr. Lee Francis IV, who opened the first Native comic bookshop. Explore his story along with many other Native stories. on the show, Burn Sage Burn Bridges. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey guys, it's Stephanie Beatriz. And Melissa Fumero, and this is more better. We are jumping right in and ready to hear from you. Your thoughts, your questions, your feelings about socks with sandals. And we're ready to share some possibly questionable advice and hot takes. God, that sucks so hard, though.

I'm so sorry. Can you out petty them? Can you match their pettiness for funsies? All the things. Because aren't we all trying to get a little more better? Listen to more better on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Catherine. How are you? Hi, Chelsea. We're here for another minisode. Minisode. Welcome to a minisode.

So I have a follow-up from Carly who called in way back on our Lauren Lapkis episode. She was ready to move on from situationships, was sleeping with a coworker and felt like she was kind of falling for him and wanted to tell him. our advice was to tell him how she was feeling. So she says, hey there, thanks for checking in. I unfortunately don't have a success story to fill you in on. I did take Chelsea's advice, and it didn't pan out. I started dating again and met some interesting guys. This time around, I felt like the ball was in my court, and I had the power. It took the pressure off of dating, and I just decided I want to have fun with it. One guy showed promise, but then unfortunately, I started getting the ick. I actually started things up again with the guy I was sleeping with

after a bunch of failed attempts at dating again, dating can get exhausting, and I'm unfortunately impatient. I'm still hopeful that I'll meet the one, but for now I'm just focusing on making money, traveling, and having my friends with benefits. Thanks again for checking in, Carly. That was with the boss?

Not with the boss. This was like a while ago. She was like sleeping with a coworker and she was getting the feelings. They were like friends with benefits. Yeah, right. And he wasn't, okay, okay, copy that. Well, great.

You have your answer and now you're happier. So I was right. Yeah. Like, you got your information. You found out. Yes, that's good. This is progress. And now she's enjoying your life.

I love this like focusing on making money, traveling, and having fun of my friend. Yeah, and having a good time. And also, let's all just get out of the idea of that there's one person out there for us. Agreed. That's just so silly. That's impossible with, there's nine billion people on the planet almost now. I think there are better people and worse people. I don't even know how many people are on the planet anymore.

That's a lot. It's too many. It's too many. And there's not just one. There are multiple people out there for you. So it's like if it doesn't work out. out with what it's not like you're meeting your, there's no such thing. I mean, like, yeah, I believe in, you know, people, you can have a connection with someone, but that can go for your

mother, your sister, your daughter, your dog, you know, your neighbor. Like, there's a lot of soulmate versions out there. So don't think of it as like, there's one person. There's more than one person that you can match with. Just like, like you said, more than one dog. Right. Yeah. Mimsy turns 10 tomorrow, by the way. Oh, happy early birthday of Mimsy. I know. I'm like excited for her to have a birthday, but I'm also like, please stay as young as possible. as long as possible. Oh, you could just clone her. You know, it crosses my mind.

It crosses my mind. She is the dog. I've always had very, like, a lot of anticipatory grief about. Like, even since she was a baby, I'm like, never die. With the other two, I'm like, I love you, but, you know, eventually it'll be your time. Yeah, exactly. So Alexis wrote in and says, Dear Chelsea, my mom has been in a bit of a dilemma for quite some time. All of my mom's friends, honestly, suck.

They're total drains, and she has met women like this over and over. It makes no sense because my mom is a total badass, super fun, outgoing, loyal, and funny as hell. I don't understand how crap women keep seeking out my mother and befriending her. She's had friends become stalkers, single white female type situations, or just trauma dump on her. They never ask how she's doing, and Chelsea, it really pisses me off. I wish you guys were friends. I would love to do a video call with my mom and gain advice on what to do moving forward. It makes me sad my mom's best friend, and all of her friends are just a selfish A. F.

I have a lovely group of girlfriends myself, so it makes me sad that this is the hand my mom has been dealt. Please help, Alexis. Hi, Alexis. We have mom, too, right? Who is Shaka. Hi, how are you? Good. How are you?

I'm good, thanks. Your mom is Shaka Khan? Yes, she is. That's great. I love a mother-daughter duo dynamic. That's my favorite. And Shaka said they're best friends. She said my daughter's my best friend.

I think that's very sweet. Yes, we are. Here I am. Hi. Hi, Shaka Khan. How are you? Good. How are you?

So nice to meet you. You're so cute. Look at this, two cutie pies. I love it. I love it. Your daughter thinks all of your friends are assholes. They are. They've been pretty crappy, to be honest.

Really? What do you think the problem? What do you think the problem is? I don't know if it's because, like, her personality. is so like magnetic in a way that people are jealous kind of like maybe they don't know who they are so they just cling on to her yeah the same way she is yeah well people are attracted to like happy positive people so that makes sense yeah i mean it's a compliment really i know and you know and here's what i'll say a lot of people say i should take it as a compliment and and i do a hundred

percent I do, but at some point it becomes violating. Give me some examples. So I had one gal and I knew her. She was a family member by marriage and he went crazy on me and like bought my car would drive by my house in my car. I planned a trip to go to Tulum, Mexico. She bought her entire family a trip to Tulum including like a single white female. It was severe. She would drive by my house consistently. You know, I feared going in my yard. So, you know, at some point, I am worried for my safety. To clarify something, should she buy the car from you or she bought the same model of car you have? No, she just bought the same car. And she would leave me notes. Saying what? I can read you one and it was pretty severe. She just said, because at some point I

blocked her on every social media account, I'm like, okay, I need to distance myself. This is becoming unsafe and then she started sending me messages via Pinterest she would follow my god and she and she would say things you may have blocked me on every social media platform but if you don't think that I know what you're doing you're fucking delusional I will spend eternity plotting your just rewards C-U-N-T oh my this isn't like a friend this sounds like that's a different level that's a stalker psycho yeah she wouldn't let me me go. She wouldn't let me go. Like I tried to disconnect several times throughout her relationship and she sunk her teeth in deeper to me. So, you know, at some point these women, I think that

they do have a love for me in the beginning. I think that they want to find the strength that I maybe have. I'm pretty strong gal and I'm very much an individual. And so I don't think that these women are and they are seeking that. But at some point, it becomes, I'm no longer talking to them. I'm talking to me. I don't even know what to say next because they've taken the words like literally right out of my mouth. And is this situation, because this is an extreme situation, this has happened to multiple friends of yours that they want to mimic your behavior and kind of emulate your whole life? It is. It is. And it's become to the point now where when I meet a woman, I actually will go right into that conversation to kind of feel out. Yeah, that's smart. If this is going to

happen again to me. I'm like, this cannot be happening again and again like this. There is something that I'm maybe putting out there that is, I don't know. I don't know that I'm attracting this kind of person over and over again. So what do you say when you meet friends now? Like, how do you explain this? What do you say? Like, hey, listen, I get a lot of my friends turn into stalkers. I have to make sure you're not fucking crazy. Pretty much. Pretty much. Maybe in a little gentler way. Right. Right. I do. I do just come right out and say, hey, you know, but I've had some issues in the past, you know, with women. And I don't necessarily, you know, hey, are you one of these women?

But I almost have like a spidey sense for it now because it's happened so frequently. So I'm super hypersitive to it, which kind of deters me from wanting to move forward with any women. Yeah, I understand what you mean. I think you probably are. First of all, do you trust your judgment at this point to be able to kind of suss out who is going to be like stable and who's going to be unstable? Absolutely. I'm 53 now. So I feel like 50s are a whole new ballgame for behind. And I do feel like I've got it pretty well dialed where I can feel out if I'm going to be a supply source to these people. Right. So that's kind of where I'm at now. But I know I need women in my life. I know I need a good group of women. I would love a good group of women like a posse. It feels like you should hang out with your daughter and her friends. They sound more normal. Believe me, I do. Okay, well, that's good.

Listen, I think you're on the right track. Like, you've identified the issue. You've made changes in how you're approaching your friendships. Your daughter's aware. You're on the same page. It's not like you and your daughter are in conflict on this matter, where she's saying one thing and you're saying that that doesn't happen. You're admitting it's true.

It's a compliment that people are attracted to you. It's a compliment that people want to, like, mimic your lifestyle and emulate the way that you live. That's a compliment. Obviously, you don't want people driving by your house. and copying everything you do. So it sounds like you're on the case already. You just have to have a little bit more discernment

about who you let into your circle. And that's great because you have to set up boundaries. And like you said, when you're in your 50s, those boundaries are much easier to set because it's not like an option. It's almost like a mandate. True. True.

Very true. Very true. So I feel like between the two of you guys, you're on the case already and you're not going to allow any more fruitcakes into your life. You know, like you have to be very clear at the beginning. at the outset, which you just said you were, like, I'm not dealing with any dependence. I don't need any more dependence. I don't need anyone who's so interested in living my life

that they want to actually live my life. I, you know, I'm looking for strong women that have strong boundaries of their own in place. And those are the only types of relationships I'm looking for. Are they out there? Yes. They are. Of course they are. It's like discounting men. You can't discount all men. You can only discount most of them. You know what I mean? Yeah, like 90%. But no, there are women out there that are like that.

You know there are. You've had normal friends. Look at your daughter. Look at her friends. Look at me. Like, I have normal friends. I don't have psychos like that in my life. I mean...

I do have one girlfriend that I absolutely love. Her name is Burnett. And she's been a solid rock for sure. I mean, she's a little crazy too, but, you know... Yeah, that's okay. A little crazy's fine. Crazy cool. Crazy cool.

Hey, everybody, this is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang. And you're never going to guess who's our guest on Lost Cultureistas. It is Bradley Jackson, L. Woods, Tracy Flick herself. Reese Witherspoon. Reese must go in a girl's trip. I have to have a tequila. We must.

Oh! The Q rating. When they run diagnostic on here. We can run it on you guys. I'd be scared. Run the curating. No, on the Q rating on us. My resiliency score is down to adequate because we were on a red eye.

My resiliency score. My grit. I got to get my grit score up. Now, don't think that you're going to come out Los Culturistas, the podcast, and we're not going to at least bring up Big Little Lies season three. Whoever said orange is the new pink. We seriously disturbs. Listen to Las Culturistas on the last.

the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians. I would be the first immigrant mayor in generations, but 40% of New Yorkers were born outside of this country.

Artists and activists, I mean, do you ever feel demoralized? I might personally lose hope. This individual might lose. the faith. But there's an institution that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in. To bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. There's not a single day that Paola and I don't call or text each other sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country. This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation public. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos as part of the MyCultura podcast

network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you want to hear the secrets of serial killers, psychopaths, pedophiles, robbers? They are sitting there waiting for the vulnerable thing. They're waiting for the unprotected. I'm Dr. Leslie, forensic psychologist. I advocate for safety and awareness of predators while wearing pink. When you were described to me as a forensic psychologist, I was like snooze. We ended up talking for hours, and I was like, this girl is my best friend. This is a podcast where I cut through the noise with sarcasm, satire, and hard truths. I'm not going to fake it and force it for me.

But would you force an orgasm? Because that's like a different layer. The car accident you didn't want to see but couldn't turn away from. In this episode, I discussed personal safety and self-defense tools, instincts and strategies to protect yourself and your loved ones in everyday life and high-risk situations. Listen to Intentionally Disturbing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In early 1988, federal agents raced to track down the gang they suspect of importing millions of dollars worth of heroin into New York from Asia. We had 30 agents ready to go with shotguns and rifles and you name it.

But what they find is not what they expected. Basically, your stay-at-home moms were picking up these large amounts of heroin. They go, is this your daughter? I said yes. They go, oh, you may not see her for like 25 years. Caught between a federal investigation and the violent gang who recruited them, the women must decide who they're willing to protect and who they dare to betray. Once I saw the gun, I tried to take his hand, and I saw the flash of light. Listen to the Chinatown Stang on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. Hola, it's Honey German, and my podcast, Grasasas Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities.

You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't auditioned in like over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shifters sharing their real stories of failure and success.

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Yeah. But the whole pretending and you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasas Has Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And I just think, like, don't panic about it. It's not like you need a gaggle of girlfriends.

Like, you need five girlfriends right away. It's not a fucking emergency. I know. I know. But gosh, I just have had really no solids, you know. And so I, At some point, you just kind of lose some hope, I guess. I know, but it's like dating. You know what I mean? Everyone loses hope dating.

They go on a website and they're like, they go on five dates. They're like, fucking forget it. You know, everyone's disgusting or everyone's a loser. Everyone wants to split a check. Like, you have to treat it like dating. Like you're going to audition some new girlfriends in the next few months. There are places at sites where, I mean, if you really want to go and like meet friends on, on like, friend websites, you could do that.

But I really don't think that's necessary for you. It sounds like you're desperate. Right. And go. By the way, let me just. Just rephrase that. Anyone who's on a site to meet friends, well, that is a little desperate, so I'm sorry, I can't rephrase it.

But if you're on a dating site to meet guys, that is not desperate. I understand that, and I support that for all women. But if you're only in a situation where you have to meet people online, then, yeah, that's a different situation. You're not in that situation. So, yeah. One thing that might be helpful, too, is rather than going out for, like, individual women, If there's, like, someone you know who has, like, say, a book club or, like, a friend group already where they all kind of know each other and you can insert yourself, that might be a nice way to, like, they've all got their stuff going on.

They've all got their own lives and their own relationships. And you can kind of, like, sneak on in there and have some extra friends and, like, see if there's someone you vibe with. I recently did do that. And I'm kind of notorious for calling people lovey, lovey or shug. People usually get a pet name from me. So we go out to dinner and all of a sudden, all these girls at table are calling. calling each other lovey. And I'm going, what the hell is going on right now? So it's just weird. You know, it's kind of weird behavior. I don't know. I don't know what it is. You know,

maybe they, I, listen, I am a strong personality and I am like, you know, I have that vibe, right? I love to just latch on to other groups of girls. Like, I'm always on the periphery of lots of different friend groups because I don't like to be too enmeshed in groups of women. Like, I have probably 10 different groups of girlfriends and I go in and out when I please I don't you know I'm not a jealous person so I'm not worried that I'm not the center of the universe but I like to be like I'll show up on a vacation or or I'll show up at you know their Thursday night dinner that they do every week and then I show up I like to be the kind of outsider of friend groups because I like to float around yeah me too so I think that's the attitude you should take you should find groups like what katherine suggested whether that be a book club or

whether you find existing groups to just kind of float in and out of it. And if you see them, like, you know, you can gather enough information to know whether or not it's a group you want to revisit or not. For sure. Absolutely. That's absolutely right. Yes. Yes. I agree with that. Right, Alexis, are you going to help her out with us? Yeah. I think the universe knew I was going to get some dog shit women and they gave me a daughter, you know? Yeah. Well, that's good. So weird women stalking other women. It's just so. And I was like, you know, if it was a guy, it was a guy.

It was a guy. I'm like, yeah, you know, I kind of wouldn't be like, oh, right, this guy. But it's women driving by me. I'm like, what do you think you're going to see me and my robe outside? So weird. I don't know. It's just, it's very bizarre behavior. And I don't know what to do with those women either. Like, how do I manage that? I can't, you know, I feel anxiety. Am I going to have to be ready to rumble? Yeah, I feel like you just have to ignore them. Unless it does get to the point with this other woman, like that might be time for like a, restraining order. Well, I mean, it's just a very weird pattern. Like, yeah, I mean, yeah. She's an administrator at a school. What do you think, Alexis, what do you think this

situation is? I, again, I think it's just her, unfortunately, meeting people that don't know who they are. And so then they, or they're unhappy in their lives. And they see my mom. And she's just so, you know, her personality is very big. We're kind of opposite that way. I'm a little more quiet but I think they're just really like attracted to that and they I don't they just cling on and want to do that they start just like wearing the same clothes doing their hair the same like all the sudden they've never done that before and at first I thought it was a compliment and then the more times I noticed this is happening I'm like okay something is up like this is not normal behavior how that's so strange yeah some people are a little bit that way like I have one of those

faces where people come up to me at the grocery store and like tell me their life story. So, I mean, some people just have, like, a certain vibe. And it's not anything I I don't think that you can control, you know? I know. And then I think, you know, do I need to be, you know, less? Do I need to like, you know, be, I don't know. I don't know. But at some point now, in my 50s, though, I will say I'm embracing who I am and I don't give two shits about what people are thinking or doing. I'm just like, you're embracing who you are. You shouldn't change who you are. You should just be like what we've already discussed, which is more discerting about letting people get close to you. You have to figure out who's crazy and who's not crazy and then make those

decisions. Don't start, don't go all in right away. Yeah, I agree. I do that. I do that. I'm like, oh, I love this person. And then three days later, I'm like, never mind. I think you just have to detach a little bit from what their expectations of the friendship are. And, like, if it doesn't feel good for you, then it doesn't, it's not good. And you don't have to take that on, like if they are feeling. No, no, no. I think we've covered it. I think you guys got the message. Yeah. Yeah. All right, gals. Okay. Okay, ladies, thank you for calling in. Hey, thank you so much. Bye. Thanks. Bye. Okay, well, that's a wrap on our little minisode. Yeah. Couple's counseling. Okay. Well, well, that's a little, I don't know what to say now.

Goodbye. We'll see you next time. Goodbye. So I added a couple of new dates. I'm not on tour yet, but I added a couple of dates just because I felt like we need a little bit more laughter and a little bit more medicine for the end of the year. And I was wrapping things up, but I thought maybe let me do a couple more. So I'm adding three more dates in addition to my Vegas residency. I'm headlining the Rochester Fringe Comedy Festival, September 13th, and I will be in Napa on October 3rd. So those will be my last dates of the year. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.

Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. Hey, everybody, this is Matt Rogers. And Bowen-Yang. And you're never going to guess who's our guest on Los Culturistas. It is Elle Woods, Tracy Flick, herself. Reese Witherspoon!

Reese, it must go in a girl's trip. I have to have a tequila. Whoever said orange is the new pink. We seriously disturbs. Listen to Las Culturistas on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one.

We sit down with politicians, artists, and activists, to bring you death and analysis from a unique, in a perspective. The moment is a space for the conversations we've been having as father and daughter for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shay.

I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other. from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

It may look different, but native culture is alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. Somewhere along the way, it turned into this full-fledged award-winning comic shop. That's Dr. Lee Francis the 4th, who opened the first native comic bookshop. Explore his story along with many other native stories

on the show, Burn Sage Burn Bridges. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, it's Stephanie Beatriz. And Melissa Fumero, and this is more better. We are jumping right in and ready to hear from you. Your thoughts, your questions, your feelings about socks with sandals. And we're ready to share some possible.

questionable advice and hot takes. God, that sucks so hard, though. I'm so sorry. Can you out petty them? Can you match their pettiness for funsies? Yeah. All the things. Because aren't we all trying to get a little more better?

Listen to more better on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.