Dear Chelsea - Minisode: Sit Your Ass at Home with Sam Jay and Yanise Monét

Episode Date: August 9, 2024

Chelsea is joined by Sam and Yaya to discuss rekindling your creative drive, finding balance in a relationship, and why therapy is so important as a couple.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com

and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and

conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, WeezyWTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests

to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC.

Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea Handjob. I'm here with my friends Yaya and Sam. Okay, welcome back, Yaya and Sam. Yeah, well, it's good to see you. Okay, so you want to spend more time on the road because you want to get back to your creative roots. Tell me more about that because I can relate to that very much. I just need to be doing comedy for me, and I need to be by myself with this for a little while. I've gone through some stuff, lost some people.

I've just been in a bit of a tumultuous space, and I kind of just needed some space to reconnect with it for me and just realign myself, realign the reasons why I'm doing it, realign my goals, realign the reasons why I'm doing it, realign my goals, realign what I want out of it. You know, that kind of requires personal time and that's hard to do. When you have your partner on the road, it just, you know, that requires another piece of yourself to be attentive and be caring. And I just don't want to, at least when it comes to comedy, I don't want to have to consider anybody else in this space for a while. That's very well put.

I mean, I can relate to that. How does that make you feel? I'm okay with it because I respect her as an artist. So whatever she needs from me as a partner, I'm able to try to accommodate and do for her. When we were on the road together through the first special, which was great, but it was just like,

I understood where she was at the time. So it was good to be on the road with her and help her develop that and now she's in a space creatively where she needs to be isolated and get back to the grind of it so I just have to respect that because she's an artist so who am I to be like no bitch I'm coming well a lot of people would be like that a lot of people who aren't don't understand that no No, I mean, I understand it and I respect her more than an artist.

I respect her as a person. So if my person is telling me this is what she needs, who am I to be like, no, bitch, I'm coming anyway. Like, no,

I'm not going to do that. And plus, I don't work. So if that's what she need to do to get the money, girl, go outside and go get it. Like, what?

So I'm going to sit my ass down. I told you to sit my fat ass down. This week we're looking for questions from writers. Are you an author or an aspiring writer? Or maybe you're a different kind of artist and have questions about the creative process or inspiration or motivation.

Write in to DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com I'm Jason Alexander and I'm Peter Chilton or motivation. Write in to DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer? We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer.

And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging.

Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

When your most recent special came out on Max, how did that affect you? The success of that, or being recognized more, and how did it affect both of you? I mean, it was like a two-fold thing. It definitely was like a two-fold thing.

Like, it definitely was like, okay, I'm getting recognized more. There's this perception. But then there's also this piece of you that's never fully what you want, I guess. Or at least I haven't hit whatever that is career-wise where I'm like, yeah, this is how I wanted it. This is how I thought it was going to be. You know, so there's parts of it that were just wildly frustrating still. And I think a lot of it, too too is I'm two specials in now so it's also just like all right what's next you know like these kind of goals are being knocked off and then I don't think because I was just running and running and running I don't think I spent any time trying to figure out really what I wanted next I

like I haven't done a five-year plan in years. I haven't really sat down and just assessed goals in a long time. I've just been doing the thing and doing the thing and doing the thing, and things have kind of just been happening. So I think it's also in a space where as much as I like all that shit, it feels like there's stuff coming to me, but I'm not even sure if it's things that I want or I'm just doing them because they're things that are coming. And so that's another piece that I got to get a handle back on. Like, what do you want right now? Like, what are you trying to actually achieve?

Yeah, I'm interested to see how you view that. What do you think about watching her go through that? I can't lie. In the beginning, it was difficult to see her. I don't want to say struggling with it but going through a bout where she was at a place where she was just trying to figure it out again. Because she's always so strong and always so headstrong. She always knows what direction she wants to go to.

So to see her be a little down and confused, especially after losing her best friend and stuff like that, it just was hard for me to see her go through it, but I just wanted support in the best way that I can. You sound very therapized, Yaya, in a good way. Oh, I do. Like, very thoughtful. Everything you say is like you've spoken to someone else about it, almost. Well, yeah, we speak to our therapist, but we also speak to each other. Yeah.

I think that that's the biggest thing is just trying to— because'm not the best communicator. So especially when it comes with Sam, and she's so she's such a good communicator, because that's just what she does. So I think that with her, it's just like trying to empathize and show her like I hear what she's saying, or I'm trying to hear her needs in the same way she can reciprocate it to me. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's a struggle for a lot of people when they get success that you've wanted for so long and you get it. Plus with the other things that are happening in your life, obviously that has a major impact. And even without that, it's an adjustment, right? Like to become what you wanted to be. And then like I was watching JLo's recent documentary. It's called The Greatest Love Story Never Told.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You watched that? Yeah, I did. I'm interested in what J-Lo is up to. Always. How was that? It was what you think it was. Okay.

It was not, I wouldn't say watch it, but I had to see what was happening. You wanted to know. You had to see it for yourself. But in that, it is revealed, not that we didn't know this about J-Lo because we could have drawn our own conclusion or conjecture based on her behavior alone. She, there's an insatiableness to her. She will never be sated. It will never be enough.

There will never be success, a movie big enough, an award big enough, an Oscar. It's just, and even Ben Affleck in the movie says, she'll never be satisfied. And I always, like, I remember when Gerard Carmichael kind of started to get really recognized and he had an issue with it like you know he went away for a while to be away from it happened to Dave Chappelle it happens to a lot of comics and it's interesting to talk about I think because it's like what is it yeah yeah and when will it be enough for any of us yeah yeah and what does enough look like, you know? And at least what do you want?

You know, I think that's really what it is. It's like, what do I want? And then also just being confronted with this level of glass ceiling and this level of like, you know, okay, I'm achieving all these things on this level, but I'm starting to understand that as a black lesbian, there's just some shit that's in the way. You know what I mean? And like also how to navigate that and still chase in the way you know what I mean and like also how to navigate

that and still chase this thing you know what I mean like just trying to find all those those good balances and pieces of mine for myself so that when I step into this shit like I got the right fucking mental headspace that you're in the right headspace yeah yeah but it's not easy I mean I think she's being very like uh generous with herself in this moment because I also know for sure that like something it hurts her sometimes to not be able to be with me and like I went and did the roast on my own and I was like you know I just need space to just go do what the stuff is I gotta do and I know for her that was hard to not be there for a moment you You know what I mean? And not be able to share in that moment and be present. So it's not like in that she's not like sacrificing something, I guess. No, I mean, it sounds like you have really good communication.

Like I wouldn't even sometimes. I mean, that's pretty. Also just came from therapy. Yeah, I know. I should have all of our, all of our couples counseling just come from their real therapist. They're in better shape than the counselor, which is me. No, you're a great therapist. I'm not giving therapy. I'm just letting you – I want to hear what your issues and dynamics are because everybody who listens, we have such a variety of listeners and, like, everybody likes to hear other people's stories. I know when I hear something that sounds similar to something I went through, I'm always like, oh, okay, okay, that's not uncommon. It's kind of like, you know, when you get advice, I hate this quality about myself, but I do it all the time when I, especially with men, like,

I'm like, oh, I show them to a bunch of different people to get everyone's reaction, you know? And if everyone's into it, then I'm into it. And if they're kind of grossed out by him, I'm grossed out by him. And that's really not the kind of personality. I'm not a follower in that way. I mean, it's like when you go around and you ask somebody their advice on your problem and you keep getting different advice and then your advice just changes to whatever the last fucking thing you heard was. And then you're like, who the fuck am I?

Like, what do I even think? So I just, I don't know, it falls into that category of kind of philosophizing for me. I'm sure you've seen a lot of your friends go through the same thing. And it's not necessarily the fame aspect. It's success. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of this is like in business and all different types of walks of life and work. It's just success and managing it and managing yourself within it.

You know what I mean? Growing up, too. I'm a whole different person than when I started, you know, with a whole mind so you know that's also a part of it yeah you have a big brain I like it oh thank you big brain thank you it's nice to talk to people who are fucking intelligent I mean that it's like I got stoned on my way here because I knew I was gonna have to deal with this annoying driver my driver had a situation and I was like oh I to deal with this annoying driver. My driver had a situation. And I was like, oh, I better get stoned just in order to deal with someone that I don't know. And I'm going to be in a close space with them.

Like, I have to set the tone so that I'm in a more playful mood because my natural disposition is like any time in the car is my alone time. Yeah, I'm like that too. So this is what I don't understand, Chelsea. You always come at me like I'm some type of curmudgeon. But I feel like we're very much the same. Well, I'm a little bouncier than you are. I'm bouncing around. You're kind of like, you walk into a room and it's like you don't know which way it's going to go if you don't know you.

I don't know why everyone thinks this. Yeah, you do have that energy. It's a less playful energy. But I'm so playful. And I keep telling people that she's not, I have to warn people, like, no, she's nice, she's cool, she's not mad. Like, people think she's mad on set. I find that so, you know what it is? People are so goddamn needy. I agree.

People are so goddamn needy that if you walk in a room and you're just chilling, it's like they require energy. I know. And it's like, why? Why? I'm not doing anything but sitting down. I'm just chilling. I'm seeing what's coming. I'm hanging out.

If it turns into a good conversation about this, I'm in. I'm down. But it's like this need people have to be affirmed by other people and immediately to be able to sit in a fucking space. I just, I swear I've never been that way. I've never given a fuck about how someone entered a room.

I've never even thought about, like, unless it was, like, actually hostility. Like, who the fuck want to fight? Then I'd be like, whoa, bro, what's up with bro? You know what I mean? Why is he on that time? But, like, other than that, it's just so weird to me. Well, that's a perfect time

to say goodbye to Sam and Yaya for a minute because I don't want you to leave until we come back and talk about your finances and how you relate to each other on that end. Okay.

So we can end on a lighter note. Oh, this was the therapy note. Another maybe note. You can check out Sam Jay, who is on tour now in cities all over the country, and she's fucking funny. If you haven't seen her on The Roast or on her own special,

then go watch both of those. Her special's on HBO Max, now known as Max. And then you can follow Yaya at vanity.vixen on Instagram and TikTok. And it is worth the follow because she's up to some, well, shenanigans. I mean, you'll understand what I'm talking about. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden.

And together, our mission on the Really No Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B,

as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions

that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect

Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.